Werevixen I tried this. I don’t think anyone would’ve given a fuck if it hadn’t been 2 in the morning. I am currently banished from my house. On the bright side though, I haven’t been thrown into a insane asylum or been apprehended by the police for listening to satan’s preachings. You my brudda, have saved me from getting the Electric Chair.
@@fai8980 Probably a hot meal and some shelter in your bathroom :c if it gives Virgin birth to another sink, then you should make a religion out of it.
Fun fact: during the Vietnam war, the CIA agents would often read My Immortal to captured Viet Cong leaders in hopes of drawing out information. It had a 100% success rate.
@@Liquid_Mike imagine if you will a hippopotamus turning tricks at the corner of space and time, she beckons you down a poorly lit alley known as, the Twilight Zone.
@@sirbobby7785 Hagrid got on his flying motorcycle and began to chase after Harry while listening to My Chemical Romance. A group of preps were staring at him, but he raised his middle finger at them.
every time I describe a character's outfit in my writing, I can't help but fear that I sound like fucking Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way. This fic has ruined me.
Me writing: "She wore a rumpled black tee and sweatpants, and her bleary eyes peeked through messy red hair..." (Spring in My Step intensifies) GOD DAMMIT
@@amberhernandez Thank you for telling me what the song is. I've been scrolling through the comments and every time it came on, I would zip back to the top to see what she was wearing now.
Looked back on what I wrote years ago: "I’m wearing a custom-made, georgette, a-line evening dress, chrysanthemums printed in the illusion sleeves where they look connected to one another. The dress is colored in red and going down, orange blends with falling autumn are printed at the sides of the dress." 🙃🙃🙃🙃
Imagine getting a new puppy, and then one day you put on your shoe and hear a loud wet squelch. You take off your shoe to reveal puppy shit. Your dog has taken a shit in both of your shoes. You feel disgusted as if you're going to puke. You grab another pair of shoes from your closet, but when you put on the left shoe, you hear an even louder, even wetter squelch. Your new puppy has taken a shit in every pair of shoes in your closet, shit on every article of clothing, every accessory that you own. All of them are irreparably destroyed. Now, fast forward to the release of Wednesday, you hope for a good show, but upon finishing the show, you stare hollow-eyed at your TV screen, reminded of the same hopeless, depressed feeling as the day your new best friend destroyed your wardrobe. A wardrobe full of shit is an accurate representation of that divine punishment that calls itself a show, after all.
I feel like it'd be applicable to many jokes, too. "Where'd you get that gun, Parry Hotter?" "Voldemort." "What?" "Voldemort gave me a gun." "Voldemort is dead, Parry."
The funniest part about this whole thing is that Draco would absolutely hate Ebony. He’s head boy of Slytherin, teacher’s pet, elitist and hates people who don’t fit into high wizard society. 😂
This is what inspired Albert Einstein to write the bible. It’s beauty is simply unmatched; the poetic use of prose, the astonishingly nuanced character development, descriptions so vivid I can practically feel them - it’s perfect. I believe it needs to be archived in the Library of Congress. In fact, I have printed out my own personal copy which is rife with notes and annotations.
It took me _literally years_ to realise that when she said "kind of like a pentagram between Joel Madden and Gerard Way" it was a play on "a cross between" Because pentagrams are like her equivalent of crosses
She defends the "mary-sue" nature of the character, and then proceeds to have her one-shot the bbeg, get caught in a love quadrangle, and literally exclaim "oh no. why am i so good at everything". This is amazing.
@@chadthundercock7897Not to mention that the casual drug use, "scray" violence, crossovers, and the nonchalant bisexuality of the characters is really reminiscent of Easton Ellis's work. It's like a gothic version of Less Than Zero.
I wish I could combine that talent with my writing or when playing D&D. I am incapable of even visualizing character's clothing, let alone describe them. I'm not great at the rest either but passable enough. I can visualize and describe a lovecraftian creature in reasonable details, but the hero facing it is just some guy in a suit (who may or may not be wearing a hat).
@@victorlolxd7347no, satanism is an atheistic religion that doesn't worship a literal Satan but rather uses Satan and satanic imagery as a form of rebellion against the corruption of organized religions. With the founder Anton Lavey often criticizing the hypocrisy and overall immoral issues caused by religion, especially Evangelicals and Catholics at the time. The idea of satanism being a cult was an idea only brought up by the Catholic church in the 80s during the satanic panic and perpetuated by the media. Though there are literal devil worshipers in existence, but most of them either dub themselves as some type of pagan or a luciferian, not satanists. Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
Ok so I have an idea. Perhaps Albus didn’t know about Draco’s vampirism since it is never mentioned again in the “book”, so he would see Draco lying on the floor slit wrists, not a heartbeat nor a breath, so he would only assume that he was dead and bury him. Now Draco, in a state of depression, falls into an additional catatonic state due to the shock of losing so much blood. This in turn leaves ample opportunity for Voldemort to kidnap him and hold him as a prisoner. Because Ebony and Harry know of his vampirism but very stupid, they know he is very much alive but lost somewhere, but don’t make the connection that Dumbledore doesn’t have a clue about Draco’s vampiric immortality, so they don’t tell him until they realize he’s been kidnap. Thank you for listening to my TED talk.
Obviously you can't understand her great writing. Her goal was to introduce some elements of foreshadowing to the text. She lets the reader know that vampires can only die a certain way to hint that the death story is simply a bad lie and to set up the rescue plot.
the exact opposite for nearly every american. But poor "enoby", she cannot share her supposed beauty with any of us. A true crying shame that we will never be "cursed" with being attractive. I need to have a talk with the person that wrote this fanfiction, seriously.
Riley Snow Don’t you dare flame the author of the grea-, greates-, greatest fanfic of the century. You’re not allowed to say anything negative to the man or woman whom wrote this masterpie- I can’t do it.
“And then he put his thingy into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.” This is my favorite line in anything ever. It cracks me up every time I hear it, and I have to rewind to hear it multiple times
The child who wrote it admitted that she never read the books, and only saw the first 4 movies. The only reason this is connected to Harry Potter at all is because her friend had also written HP fanfiction.
It's viewing 6 or7. This has officially become the funniest thing in the world to me. Every misspelling is a delight. Every authors note is sweet oblivious honey to my ears. This is truly a magical experience.
This is the best piece of fanfiction ever written. Ebony is the definition of chaotic neutral and could probably be reworked into a really fun character.
I thought she was chaotic evil. But ignoring that I think you do have a point that she could be made a fun character if someone who isn't a mentally disturbed pre teen wrote this.
3 watches later and I finally understand what it means at 18:00. "He was wearing messy eyeliner like a pentagram between Joel Madden and Gerard Way." A pentagram. Like a cross. A cross between JM and GW. Facepalm moment.
wow that's a bit like putting out a fire with napalm and the fact that both Napalm and water are similar as they are liquid Napalm being more of a gel-like solution but you know they're roughly the same
I think that “Crookshanks” is probably my favorite misspelling of Crucio Ive ever heard in my life. I feel like instead of Torturing the target it should just make them break it down, but just in the most awkward was possible.
I wouldn't be surprised if the author was the type to make goth outfit boards on pinterest and this is just her masticating to her own fashion choices.
Author: He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) Author the very next line: It was...Voldemort! Truly one of the greatest writers of our generation.
My favorite part is when dumbedore grinds down the staircase on his skateboard. His headache is the only consistent plot point right next to her clothes. I also greatly appreciate all the work you out into the outfits.
@@lukasmiller535 i think that's one of the theories behind it, but nobody is sure at the moment. The author has not been found/100% confirmed, so we can only guess if it's ironic or not.
"I may be a Hogwarts student, but I am also a Satanist!" - I had to go back several times to understand what Lupin was masticating. I laughed at that Hagrid reveal every time... and then when I realized what Lupin was masticating to (not on), I laughed harder. 10/10.
We may constantly clown on My Immortal, but we gotta give props to the author for being motivated enough to write a story with multiple chapters and taught us that anyone can write a story better than My Immortal.
Came back to this masterpiece and UA-cam just bombarded me with a bunch of viewer discretion is advised and warning me about self harm in this video, it’s so fucking funny
@@paige7501 i don't know, have you read the harry potter mary sue comic series? ( with the house sparkly poo?) the difference of course is that that comic makes it obvious that is a parody, and this...the bad grammar, the answers to the reviews...i am not sure i'ts a joke...
@@thomaspatnode7053 oh don't worry..... it gets so much worse... but if you survive you emerge a literal god that can never be destroyed by shitty fanfic ever again
The two best parts about these is when the guys have to stifle their laughter while reading the lines, and also when the writer has to defend themselves from the people on the forum lmao
Love how at 30:37, Draco can be seen in the movie screenshot they used for the background, as if he hadn't "died" and was just watching these two the whole time.
I cant understand how this could possibly be an unironic fan-fiction. Even if it was ironic it still seems to stupid to exist. Its still quite honestly a master piece either way.
@@chad8045 it’s mentioned that Joel Madden of Good Charlotte dated Hillary Duff when she was 18-19, so that would put it in the range of 08-09, so I’d say 30s is the upper range of the age group of this person, 27-32 id say. All I remember is that back then, there was 17 year olds writing this type of stuff.
Depression and self harm back then was considered "kewl" and "badass". ...actually, no, even today, there are still attention seekers who do it for clout and drama and trivializing people who actually have depression and tendencies to hurt themselves
I love the times where in the middle of fanfics there would be author’s notes where the author would randomly give updates about their life, thank the readers for the support and give reasons why they didn’t post a chapter this time😂
I feel like a terrible person but I am still dying at the fact that she clarifies that Draco cannot die from slitting his wrists, and then he proceeds to die from slitting his wrists only like two lines later
Yeah I’m so confused he got shod died but can’t die cause the only thing that can kill him is a “C-R-O-S-S” literally none of that made sense to me just typing it
Did we ever learn who wrote this? For those who left positive reviews on the original story -we thank you for your sacrifices; you had amazing foresight
Short answer: no, and we probably never will Long answer: ohhh boi this is a rabbit hole and a half and the reason we will never know is because so many people have lied about being the author, including someone who was trying to get a book deal out of it and someone who made hundreds of sockpuppets and wrote bible fanfic. I'm not joking, and it only gets weirder.
The never ending quest to find our who wrote my immortal is long and complicated. We don't know. A lot of people have claimed to write it and been disproven, multiple people with verifiable connections to the original fanfic (were liked authors or mentioned in the credits) have different stories about the author but all won't out them.
I come back to this series every now and then, it has become a bit of a tradition for me to sit through them, it genuinely feels tragic that we never got to see more
"Ebony is not a Mary Sue okay????" Ebony: "Omg I'm too pretty so everyone is in love with me (But I'm not a Snob or anything duh) and I'm too good at everything."
It's pathetic to have A Mary Sue or A self insert, and it's extremely pathetic to have A self insert that is A mary sue, that just says bad things about the authors personality, But when you try to deny it, that when you've crossed A line
@@thatguynoonelikes4865 i mean i guess depending on the story a self insert can work, if the author is aware enough of their own personality to really make a good tridimensional self insert with the good and the bad things the author's personality has, but i' ve never seen that because usually self inserts are the biggests mary sues
@@nessyness5447 They may be hard to find, but they do exist out there, I've read a few that did pretty well at it. The issue is that most people who write self inserts aren't experienced enough to write it out well enough.
Fun fact, JK Rowling wrote this anonymously so it's actually canon
Reck yesssss
JK Raven actually
i agree
it would be canon if it was on her twitter
Nah can’t be canon, she hasn’t even come out on twitter to say any of the characters are gay yet.
*turns down volume so parents don't hear sin*
*turns up volume and everyone in the immediate vicinity becomes the Addams family*
Pro strat: turn on hardcore porn to mask the embarrassing writing of this fanfic.
*turns off phone so parents don’t see sin*
god always hears your sin
Werevixen
I tried this. I don’t think anyone would’ve given a fuck if it hadn’t been 2 in the morning. I am currently banished from my house. On the bright side though, I haven’t been thrown into a insane asylum or been apprehended by the police for listening to satan’s preachings. You my brudda, have saved me from getting the Electric Chair.
I love how Dumbledore's headaches is probably the most consistent plot point in the entire story after the clothes
Why don't UA-camr apologies ever use that reason? I know I'd forgive them. 🤷
Domblydor
He shouted angrily what the fuck are you mother fuckers doing
That would explain why he was always yelling in goblet of fire movie
Dumblydore*
Apparently, Amy Lee of Evanescence read this fanfic after her sister introduced it to her, and it left her in tears laughing
tears of blood of course, because she is a vampire.
I didn't know Amy Lee was a flaming prep poser wannabe
Lol as an Amy Lee fan, this brings me joy lol
@@insanelittlesilk didn't her sister die in like the 90s? pretty sure this fan fic was released in like 2001-2002
@@TheYutubesteve Did she have more than one sister?
He had no nose basically like Voldemort in the movie.
_It was Voldemort!_
Truly a twist to rival Shyamalan.
"what a twist!"
Thats exactly what i was thinking, fucking gold
Plot twist! This is a M. Night Shyamalan script that just never used.
Am I reading a fanfic or a steven king novel holy shit
Kubrick wishes he would be this good
This fanfiction has it's own Wikipedia page. Let that sink in.
:'D *Wheezing*
This fanfic has it's own Wiki.
Dammit what does the sink what now
@@fai8980 I applaud you sir
@@fai8980 Probably a hot meal and some shelter in your bathroom :c if it gives Virgin birth to another sink, then you should make a religion out of it.
I mean, you've got to admire the sheer audacity of turning Hogwarts into a hotbed of goth drama.
A wizarding school in an English castle isn't that far from being "gothic" already to be fair.
Author: *describes everything Enoby wears in excrutiating detail*
Also Author: *Calls Peter Pettigrew as "The fat guy who killed Cedric"*
That’s all the description Peter deserves 😂
Obi wan Enoby
@@SkoomaGodDovahkiin666 Oh god, don't give her the high ground.
I love how her pentagram is just a Star of David 🤣
OG Enoby
Fun fact: during the Vietnam war, the CIA agents would often read My Immortal to captured Viet Cong leaders in hopes of drawing out information. It had a 100% success rate.
I would fucking spit my beans after "His flying Mercedes"
DRACO MALFOY, THE SON OF A DEATH EATER USING MUGGLE STUFF?
@@tale7955 "STOP THAT SHIT IMMEDIATELY, AMERICANS!! I WILL TELL YOU WHERE MY PLATOON IS HIDING, BUT PLEASE STOP THAT NONSENSE!!"
@@DonVigaDeFierro "And then Dumbledore cussed"
MY FUCKING GOD, I'LL TELL YOU HOW TO GET TO AREA 51 SAFE JUST KILL ME AFTERWARDS!
This is so false. During the Vietnam War they didn't even have Hot Topic.
Lol
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MOTHERFUCKERS!?" asked Dumbledore Calmly.
he had a headache so it all makes sense
HARRY WHO PUT YOUR NAME INTO THE GOBLET OF FIRE
Like...so odd
i can't breathe omfggshshsbsuebs
Why did Dumbledore wear a "make America great again" hat tho?
Imagine if this fanfiction is the only evidence of human life.
*good riddance,* the aliens would say, piloting their UFO away from earth
@@the_openers_of_eyes8 who knows maybe aliens have different tastes and find these as a masterpiece what a terrifying thought.
Imagine if someone came up with a unique comment instead of one they saw somewhere else
@@Liquid_Mike yeah imagine.
@@Liquid_Mike imagine if you will a hippopotamus turning tricks at the corner of space and time, she beckons you down a poorly lit alley known as, the Twilight Zone.
"Voldemort gave me a gun" was so unexpected and still totally acceptable in this narration, it killed me
I think I found next title for Rowling's new book, Harry Potter and the Second Amendment.
Surprised there wasn't a joke about Voldemort being an American exchange student or something
@@tykamen5588 Harry Potter and The Full Metal Jacket
@@amadeusagripino6862 and now I'm imaginating Sergeant Hartman yelling at Harry and his friends
@@amadeusagripino6862 Harry Potter and the Glock of Fire
"Voldemort gave me a gun."
*Harry Potter and the Second Ammendment*
EDIT: These replies are f-cking brilliant
Hey, there’s a reason Voldemort stuck to Great Britain
Lol true
@@jasonhenry8067 for knife stabbings
XD
Harry Potter and the chamber fully loaded
“I may be a Hogwarts student...” Hagrid paused angrily. “... But I am also a satanist!”
Bruh
"You're an anti-christ harry."
@@SaintPanzerker "I'm a what?" Harry asked as he started to cry tears of blood.
@@jidiaz96 he ran into his broom closet and felt kind of depressed so he slit his wrists to pass the time and flew off on his broom
@@sirbobby7785 Hagrid got on his flying motorcycle and began to chase after Harry while listening to My Chemical Romance. A group of preps were staring at him, but he raised his middle finger at them.
@@jidiaz96 he caught up to harrry and took him to the farbadon farest and they did it ?!?!?! Hairgrod had alwas had a crush on vampir .
every time I describe a character's outfit in my writing, I can't help but fear that I sound like fucking Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way. This fic has ruined me.
Me writing: "She wore a rumpled black tee and sweatpants, and her bleary eyes peeked through messy red hair..." (Spring in My Step intensifies) GOD DAMMIT
@@amberhernandez Thank you for telling me what the song is. I've been scrolling through the comments and every time it came on, I would zip back to the top to see what she was wearing now.
Usagichan P. What do you write?
Looked back on what I wrote years ago: "I’m wearing a custom-made, georgette, a-line evening dress, chrysanthemums printed in the illusion sleeves where they look connected to one another. The dress is colored in red and going down, orange blends with falling autumn are printed at the sides of the dress."
🙃🙃🙃🙃
This video opened my eyes. I just realize how I write my fanfiction back in the day lol.
I'll never recover from "Voldemort wasn't there, the fat guy who killed Cedric was". I'm finished
😂😂😂😂😂😂
"Hi my name is Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way"
OH BOY AM I IN FOR A RIDE.
Darkness dementia makes me think of old people with Alzheimer's sundowning.
Eric Chandler my MCR obsessed ass is fucking YODELING
@@celebrimborposting9251 Dank'ness
When a story starts off like a bad text message...
*dementia is right*
"Only crosses can kill vampires"
*wears cross earrings*
Istapriesty yeah... That's why this doesn't make sense...
Forrest Brennan just my favorite part, made me laugh
What about any of this makes sense..
"c-r-o-s-s (there's NO WAY I'm writing that!)"
Because she's suicidal GET IT
"Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos." Bitch, they're both wearing CONTACTS.
she forgot the moment she wrote it, thats why its just genius story telling
@@jenkag4343 no wonder her name was Ebony Darkness "Dementia" Raven Way lmao
Edit: im looking for copper but i found gold in these vids and comments
I'm so glad this got its Netflix adaptation!
Not sure why they changed the name to Wednesday though...
Just watched Wednesday, no wonder it's literally My Immortal the series
Underrated comment
And Netflix has shown without a doubt, it accels at adapting cringe fanfics from the 2000's
I stan this comment, I stan this user, I stan everything about this user.
Imagine getting a new puppy, and then one day you put on your shoe and hear a loud wet squelch. You take off your shoe to reveal puppy shit. Your dog has taken a shit in both of your shoes. You feel disgusted as if you're going to puke. You grab another pair of shoes from your closet, but when you put on the left shoe, you hear an even louder, even wetter squelch. Your new puppy has taken a shit in every pair of shoes in your closet, shit on every article of clothing, every accessory that you own. All of them are irreparably destroyed. Now, fast forward to the release of Wednesday, you hope for a good show, but upon finishing the show, you stare hollow-eyed at your TV screen, reminded of the same hopeless, depressed feeling as the day your new best friend destroyed your wardrobe. A wardrobe full of shit is an accurate representation of that divine punishment that calls itself a show, after all.
Hogwarts' closed due to AIDS
THANKS DOLAN DRUMPF!!1!
Update: Hogwarts closed due to stingraids.
Thank you Kanye, very cool!
Good job brothers
andrufb schools closed
She skims over the story so quickly until she describes what she's wearing.
Yeahhhh... really makes you think.
i love it and then they play the duty free vlogger music in the background, and i'm still crying with laughter, i can't even see rn 😂 😂
Very American Psycho.
fuk of u prep
kodama???
"Voldemort gave me a gun" is probably the funniest line I've heard.
I feel like it'd be applicable to many jokes, too.
"Where'd you get that gun, Parry Hotter?"
"Voldemort."
"What?"
"Voldemort gave me a gun."
"Voldemort is dead, Parry."
The funniest part about this whole thing is that Draco would absolutely hate Ebony.
He’s head boy of Slytherin, teacher’s pet, elitist and hates people who don’t fit into high wizard society. 😂
It's pronounced Enoby you fning prep!
237 peeple ned 2 stop fleming OK
Sorrow TV saaawwwwy
Tey jus preps
Fangz 4 stendin up for Enoby zaddyy
upload mooore and ill stooop sendeng u noods
A n g e r y .
This is what inspired Albert Einstein to write the bible. It’s beauty is simply unmatched; the poetic use of prose, the astonishingly nuanced character development, descriptions so vivid I can practically feel them - it’s perfect. I believe it needs to be archived in the Library of Congress. In fact, I have printed out my own personal copy which is rife with notes and annotations.
Dr3adL0rdhg this is what inspired Beethoven to work harder
this inspired sans to create undertale
this is what inspired Danny devito to invent the internet
this is what inspired Shia Lebeouf to create pepe
This is what inspired martin luther to write lord of the rings
The wardrobe descriptions in this fanfic happen more often than the ones in the American Psycho novel. That's fucking impressive.
Imagine having a narrator that is LESS reliable than Patrick fucking Bateman
I was literally thinking about this shit
“She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on.”
This really is living up to the hype
To quote Spy Kids 2:
“Do you think God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he’s created?”
Nah
Yah
Yes
Of course
Underated comment right here.
The people who left those positive reviews are the true heroes. Without them, we would never have gotten this work of modern art.
It’s ugly, that’s what makes it a modern art masterpiece
*reviow
So true
They lied for a good cause
@@07_danishwistara29 DID YOUR PARENTS HAVE ANY CHILDREN THAT LIVED
It took me _literally years_ to realise that when she said "kind of like a pentagram between Joel Madden and Gerard Way" it was a play on "a cross between"
Because pentagrams are like her equivalent of crosses
Love how Draco just got back from being tortured and Ebony's here like "I'm just too perfect, why me? D,:" 💀
She defends the "mary-sue" nature of the character, and then proceeds to have her one-shot the bbeg, get caught in a love quadrangle, and literally exclaim "oh no. why am i so good at everything". This is amazing.
And the fact that the first thing Draco did is to start stripping down in order to have sex with her
I love how the story is overly descriptive for what Ebony is wearing but everything else is hyper simplistic
It reads like American Psycho
@@chadthundercock7897Not to mention that the casual drug use, "scray" violence, crossovers, and the nonchalant bisexuality of the characters is really reminiscent of Easton Ellis's work. It's like a gothic version of Less Than Zero.
Bro stop dont make fun of this story you prep dont make me allah kedavra you
I wish I could combine that talent with my writing or when playing D&D. I am incapable of even visualizing character's clothing, let alone describe them. I'm not great at the rest either but passable enough. I can visualize and describe a lovecraftian creature in reasonable details, but the hero facing it is just some guy in a suit (who may or may not be wearing a hat).
Josh tasty hagrid ps1
Kids in the future won't acknowledge the amount of sweat and tears that went into editing this
Unicorn Workhorse
Or the blood from all the wrists slit
@@GigaChadh976 riztz*
Mostly tears.
@@m3divh *tears of blood
@@AlexanderTheGrey and shits
Voldemort speaking in old English and “clacking towards” Enoby in his “high heels” is amazing
"she's not a mary sue", meanwhile every main male character falls in lover with her
shdup u prep she nt mry su kuz she satanit and it majik spel.
HER NAME IS ENOBY
But she has a religion different to mainstream religions so she has character flaws
@@borger298is satanism even a religion? Aint it a Cult?
@@victorlolxd7347no, satanism is an atheistic religion that doesn't worship a literal Satan but rather uses Satan and satanic imagery as a form of rebellion against the corruption of organized religions. With the founder Anton Lavey often criticizing the hypocrisy and overall immoral issues caused by religion, especially Evangelicals and Catholics at the time. The idea of satanism being a cult was an idea only brought up by the Catholic church in the 80s during the satanic panic and perpetuated by the media. Though there are literal devil worshipers in existence, but most of them either dub themselves as some type of pagan or a luciferian, not satanists. Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
Author: Draco cutting his wrists doesn’t hurt him cause he a vampire
Author 2 sentences later: Draco died from cutting his wrists
Still one of the funniest shit I've read
Maybe "doesn't hurt" means "doesn't cause pain" in this situation. I think I've already thought about it more than the author.
and then for some reason he was alive again lol
Ok so I have an idea. Perhaps Albus didn’t know about Draco’s vampirism since it is never mentioned again in the “book”, so he would see Draco lying on the floor slit wrists, not a heartbeat nor a breath, so he would only assume that he was dead and bury him. Now Draco, in a state of depression, falls into an additional catatonic state due to the shock of losing so much blood. This in turn leaves ample opportunity for Voldemort to kidnap him and hold him as a prisoner. Because Ebony and Harry know of his vampirism but very stupid, they know he is very much alive but lost somewhere, but don’t make the connection that Dumbledore doesn’t have a clue about Draco’s vampiric immortality, so they don’t tell him until they realize he’s been kidnap. Thank you for listening to my TED talk.
Obviously you can't understand her great writing. Her goal was to introduce some elements of foreshadowing to the text. She lets the reader know that vampires can only die a certain way to hint that the death story is simply a bad lie and to set up the rescue plot.
“Why can’t I just be ugly?” Everyone is in love with me!”
*First world problems intensify*
the exact opposite for nearly every american.
But poor "enoby", she cannot share her supposed beauty with any of us.
A true crying shame that we will never be "cursed" with being attractive.
I need to have a talk with the person that wrote this fanfiction, seriously.
Riley Snow
Don’t you dare flame the author of the grea-, greates-, greatest fanfic of the century. You’re not allowed to say anything negative to the man or woman whom wrote this masterpie-
I can’t do it.
@@Ethan-mp7wr I must be a "prepz", then.
How dare I insult the true greatnes- HEUGH. *COUGH*
NO! I WONT SAY IT!
sHe'S NoT a MaRy Sue!!1!!1!
Shez into sayten stuf, she's no marie soow.
“And then he put his thingy into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.”
This is my favorite line in anything ever. It cracks me up every time I hear it, and I have to rewind to hear it multiple times
Shes just so cool and edgy that she doenst even have to describe sex, you already know it was great and well written
Bro really put his dingaling in her fairy cave smh smh smh fr fr fr
The band My Chemical romance was founded in 2001 and harry potter takes place in the 1990's. Wonderful continuity
90'S
A kid wrote it lol
The child who wrote it admitted that she never read the books, and only saw the first 4 movies. The only reason this is connected to Harry Potter at all is because her friend had also written HP fanfiction.
@@sagecolvard9644 are you defending this. And the time period is the same in the movies
@@zackdole6474 Am I defending a child writing shitty fanfiction? Yes. Children's creativity is always cringe, but it should be nurtured anyway.
*wakes up*
*gets out of bed*
*prepares breakfast*
*gets ready for the day*
*slits wrist*
Perfect
Minifridge. This made me laugh more then it should
Minifridge
Standard morning routine.
Wake up
Fall out of bed
Drag a knife
Across my wrists
for some reason i tried to read like THE song
i shiver every time I read the chilling voldemort quote "I hath telekinesis".
I died right right at "Voldemort gave me a gun."
Hey Hillary duff is hawt
Especially since he really meant telepathy.
Had a stroke on Then... He started coming!
can I haz telekinesis?
It's viewing 6 or7. This has officially become the funniest thing in the world to me. Every misspelling is a delight. Every authors note is sweet oblivious honey to my ears. This is truly a magical experience.
AND this is a shortend version
This is the best piece of fanfiction ever written.
Ebony is the definition of chaotic neutral and could probably be reworked into a really fun character.
I thought she was chaotic evil.
But ignoring that I think you do have a point that she could be made a fun character if someone who isn't a mentally disturbed pre teen wrote this.
We found the author, Nick! LOL
@@AKUJIVALDO Where!? I must exorcise her!
@@anmalaag1225 Heh! Nice.
"I felt bad for him even though i was a sadist so i stopped".
10/10.
Mercy 100
1000/1000
666/666
6969/6969
"The fanfic My Immortal is now canon" -J.K Rowling Twitter some day in the future
Erik The Shitposter now it’s gay
I wouldn't mind...
Any day now
Enoby wus gaj al alogn - Jowling Kowling Rowling
"And all the characters are handicapped and gay!"
This feels like an AI-generated story if the AI writing it was going through an edgelord phase. Utterly incredible.
3 watches later and I finally understand what it means at 18:00. "He was wearing messy eyeliner like a pentagram between Joel Madden and Gerard Way."
A pentagram. Like a cross. A cross between JM and GW. Facepalm moment.
Omg I never knew that 🤣🤣🤣😭😭
You're a genius for this btw. I saw this comment months ago and I appreciate your insight frequently
What
Oh my GOD that makes too much sense.
A pentagram is a 5-pointed star.
"Voldemort gave me a gun."
A *_GUN_*
Honestly I lost it a that moment during my first read.
Guns are better than Harry Potter's killing curse anyway.
@@haroldbalzac6336 *fires gun* "Hey, look, I killed Voldemort. It only took me like, what? Two seconds? Three, tops."
*"It's like a wand that can only cast the killing spell at a higher rate of fire."*
~Voldemort probably
Abra kadbra is just a gun but you need to be good at shotting to use it
Goth Girl: "How did you read my mind?"
Voldemort: "Telekinesis"
Bunny Rabbit I... No... That’s not how it works!
@@lexthemystic3541 you could put that after any sentence in the entire thing and it would still fit
@@TheNzFox Too true!
wow that's a bit like putting out a fire with napalm and the fact that both Napalm and water are similar as they are liquid Napalm being more of a gel-like solution but you know they're roughly the same
I HATH TELEKINESIS
I think that “Crookshanks” is probably my favorite misspelling of Crucio Ive ever heard in my life. I feel like instead of Torturing the target it should just make them break it down, but just in the most awkward was possible.
OH MY GOD I DIDNT GET THAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CRUCIO THANK YOU AHAHAHAHAHAHA
I wouldn't be surprised if the author was the type to make goth outfit boards on pinterest and this is just her masticating to her own fashion choices.
Whoever edited this is a god.
Kat Prime I have, but I wasn't sure if he had an editor or not.
I thought his gf/wife edited the videos
IT WAS DUMBLYDORE
Monk, He couldn't have, he had a hedache.
It was vlodemortz
I love that a vampire who constantly drinks blood is worried about getting AIDS from intercourse...
To be fair you can’t get HIV from orally ingesting blood unless you had open wounds in your mouth or stomach STD fax
@@girlproblemsbulletsolution1268 XD thanks, didn't know that. Still... not looking to do it any time soon.
I love how people are still watching this
@@kizilm5315 I mean it's a masterpiece
@Not-IcyCrusader Take Two true
Author: He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie)
Author the very next line: It was...Voldemort!
Truly one of the greatest writers of our generation.
My favorite part is when dumbedore grinds down the staircase on his skateboard. His headache is the only consistent plot point right next to her clothes. I also greatly appreciate all the work you out into the outfits.
I like how the author's grammar is perfectly fine when writing in old english, but it goes to shit when she tries to write in a modern way.
The author is a vampire too, she's still not used to modern English
Seriously. Too funny
@@pkpk3417 let her do her dark bidding on the internet
What is the story behind this fanfic? Is it a troll?
@@lukasmiller535 i think that's one of the theories behind it, but nobody is sure at the moment. The author has not been found/100% confirmed, so we can only guess if it's ironic or not.
My Immortal deserves submission into the US Library of Congress for its cultural and aesthetic significance. Not even kidding.
Rin Wesley Absolutely
An example of everything wrong with the human conscious when it comes to goths, seriously, screw this fic.
I approve of this. Let's get this shit immortalized.
fatalrob0t
I’m on board we need a movie 🍿
I have no words
This is the kind of shit the Library of Alexandria lost and we think it's a tragedy.
"I may be a Hogwarts student, but I am also a Satanist!" - I had to go back several times to understand what Lupin was masticating. I laughed at that Hagrid reveal every time... and then when I realized what Lupin was masticating to (not on), I laughed harder. 10/10.
I lost all of my college English lessons in 30 minutes.
Can I do this story for a book report?
@Anne TheReader He/She would probably be the worst at teaching but the also the best because she accepts true art like my immortal
As long as you didn't lose your "virility"
Well I'm starting to gain mine.
What the hell is with the multiple narrators each speaking in the first person?
Do some people actually think this is a writing style?
We may constantly clown on My Immortal, but we gotta give props to the author for being motivated enough to write a story with multiple chapters and taught us that anyone can write a story better than My Immortal.
Listen to a reading of eye of argon I dont know which of the two is worse
Also, it's a highly effective cure for edgey teen phases 👍
The Wiseau of fanfiction
don't you dare challenge me
It probably was just a satire.
Can we all just collectively agree that the opening monologue is one of the most iconic in fan fiction literature history?
Lmaooo UA-cam gave me 2 warnings before watching this
Same thing here or a warning and a “are you sure” but still
It can not be that bad.
""Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way"
*Oh no.*
My thoughts exactly
It's amazing don't know what you're talking about
post awareness stage 6
Have to admit, Dementia is such a cool word if you don't consider what it actually means
@@mynewaccount2604 where do you think _dementors_ come from?
Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists.
Sounds like the typical su watcher
Ya know as people do
DON'T CUT YOURSELF ON ALL THAT EDGE KIDO
ToxicMachine1 heyyyyyy
I really liked the way he says “slit my wrists” in this story
I've ignored this one for years, fearing the cringe would be too much for me to bear. It did not disappoint, what a masterpiece.
Came back to this masterpiece and UA-cam just bombarded me with a bunch of viewer discretion is advised and warning me about self harm in this video, it’s so fucking funny
Because you would want to kill yourself a quarter of the way of watching
Yeah I kept getting warnings about self harm or suicide everytime I watch this video lol
It's a bitch filter, since there are actually some humans that would get triggered by this.
"Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful? I'm good at too many things!"
This HAS to be fake
*bruh quit flamming!*
Some say it’s a troll, some say it’s real, many believe we will never know.
The only reason I don't think it's fake is because I don't think someone would be this committed to a joke
this has to be parody.
@@paige7501 i don't know, have you read the harry potter mary sue comic series? ( with the house sparkly poo?) the difference of course is that that comic makes it obvious that is a parody, and this...the bad grammar, the answers to the reviews...i am not sure i'ts a joke...
“I’m a brave boy!”
“My name is Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven way”
“I’m not a brave enough boy for this”
Literally this whole fanfic can be summed up with Jontron's face seeing the final boss of N.A.R.Q
This whole fanfiction would be summed in "What!? What the fuck!?"
I made it all the way to "it was draco" nnnnno idea what comes next but I'm sure it can't be good
@@thomaspatnode7053 oh don't worry..... it gets so much worse... but if you survive you emerge a literal god that can never be destroyed by shitty fanfic ever again
@@Sonichero151 What if the author was just a troll?
The two best parts about these is when the guys have to stifle their laughter while reading the lines, and also when the writer has to defend themselves from the people on the forum lmao
It's been 4 years now and the depiction of them "frenching" Is still the funniest shit I've ever seen.
"Her name is enoby not mary su" incredible, what true artistry
She can't even say her own characters name!
Obi-Wan Enoby
@@MrAndrewrock lol
General Enoby!
@ebony barton "Hello there", she said depressingly.
"He put his thingie into my you-know-what and did it for the first time"
Glorious
Better than 50 shades of gray
There's a bit where she goes "He put his throbbing you know what in my tool sexily."
That's exactly how it happened to me!
This author is fantastic, it's just like if Gilesbie was in my head!
"Then he put his boy's thingie in mine and we had sex.........See?! Is THAT stupid?!"
there were 666 likes when i came here to this comment and you know what? i'm letting it be because that is beautiful.
Love how at 30:37, Draco can be seen in the movie screenshot they used for the background, as if he hadn't "died" and was just watching these two the whole time.
I hope the writer is now serious and published. I hope she's read the books and finds this as funny as everyone else.
Christ she would probably go on a drinking binge trying to forget.
Jesus, I would die of cringe if I realized my self insert fan fiction would be a cult classic in internet.
For once im glad to be so self critical, at least nothing embarassing had been released and immortalized on the internet. @@Ironbattlemace
I cant understand how this could possibly be an unironic fan-fiction.
Even if it was ironic it still seems to stupid to exist.
Its still quite honestly a master piece either way.
Mr.SomeDonkus I wrote fanfiction like this when I was like 13, it's definitely real.
Troy listen it’s an ironic fanfic most likely since the author created “Tara” the “author” and her whole character.
No it's not real lol. The author confirmed it was a joke
Pseudospider Honestly, the fact that somebody would put this much effort into a joke is even more disappointing than if this were real.
dude ,people like to say that they were joking , when they fuck up , real bad
The eternal t-pose speaks to me on a primal level
veryscaryreaper ayyy I’m like 666!
My immortpose
veryscaryreaper I’m glad I’m not the only one
i'm gonna die
i need air
omfggggg shwhwhahahahahaha
What like barking or caveman speak? Or do you mean it was a Farcry level?
The casual hate on Hillary Duff was everything
“Eboby” is the best mispelling I’ve ever seen in my life
As a woman, the worst thing to experience in your life is when a couple of perverted teenage men look through your window and start chewing.
That's it, this killed me.
"Oh hey, wanna some popcorn? "
THIS
Or worse, start MASTICATING 😱
Nvm I just got to that part of the video aksjsk
Yeah…. You just gotta get your gun out and start blasting at that point
Ever stop and think "This person is probably in their 30s now"?
That's....
If they aren’t dead
I had a feeling this was a middle schooler, so maybe 20s?
@@chad8045 it’s mentioned that Joel Madden of Good Charlotte dated Hillary Duff when she was 18-19, so that would put it in the range of 08-09, so I’d say 30s is the upper range of the age group of this person, 27-32 id say. All I remember is that back then, there was 17 year olds writing this type of stuff.
@@VonSpicyWiener i can see that now. But with expierence in writing, i can say that this was a passionate first writing.
This is a bigger part of my childhood and humour than I care to admit.
I am so happy that this gets preserved like this for the future
I love how casually this story treats depression and self harm
Depression and self harm back then was considered "kewl" and "badass".
...actually, no, even today, there are still attention seekers who do it for clout and drama and trivializing people who actually have depression and tendencies to hurt themselves
“He had no nose, kinda like Voldemort.”
A few moments later
“It was Voldemort!”
Me:
Oh nooooo
"He had no nose."
"Dear. God."
"There's more."
"NO."
that was the perfect illustration of the "oh no! Anyway..." meme
It was VOLSYMORT
PLOT TWIST!!!
So anyway.
I just love the fact that Ebony is always T-posing
Carlos Valdez asserting dominance
A stock image of A lady that you can dress up in whatever the author takes 5 hours to describe to us
to assert her dominance
Its eNoBy
@@DussyBestroyer69 yes, it's NOT Mary Sue!!
I love the times where in the middle of fanfics there would be author’s notes where the author would randomly give updates about their life, thank the readers for the support and give reasons why they didn’t post a chapter this time😂
I am an asexual woman. That means that I will never lose my virility to anyone.
Sadly father time has your back.
@@anmalaag1225 i dont even know what is he tryna say
@@betuloz3947 he sey dat itz bst wen u no bcame virliant becuz women dont like it
@@betuloz3947stop flaming u prep
I love how the entire story comes to a screeching halt whenever she changes outfits
Bobo What doesn’t your life pause like Skyrim when you put a coat on?
@@tedthekazooman9455 I wish.
to summaries Episodes in fiction
Hogwarts Psycho
The best part is when she describes what she's wearing but is also apparently still naked and covers up with a towel.
I feel like a terrible person but I am still dying at the fact that she clarifies that Draco cannot die from slitting his wrists, and then he proceeds to die from slitting his wrists only like two lines later
I thought I misheard that 😂🤣
Then tuns out be alive the whole time
now thats what i like to call "talented writing"
I love how everybody in this story just slices up they’re wrist so casually.
@@beautyandtheoffbeats even the author
just coming back for my yearly listen, continue on your way
Omg same! 😂😂
“I’m too good at everything!”
You have done literally nothing!
>says he can't die from self harming because he's a vampire
>dies anyway
Filthy poser
Filthy prep
Darn goffic prep posers
Yeah I’m so confused he got shod died but can’t die cause the only thing that can kill him is a “C-R-O-S-S” literally none of that made sense to me just typing it
"Ebony is not a Mary Sue. She's not perfect."
Ebony in this same video: "Why did Satan make me so beautiful? Everyone loves me and it's awful."
Is that an actual line in the story?
Oh fuck this is worse than i thought.
Oof size: XXL
@@whenyoupulloutyourdickands4023 Yeah. She literally says "Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful? It's a fucking curse."
Enoby
Evony*
Egogy*
Did we ever learn who wrote this?
For those who left positive reviews on the original story -we thank you for your sacrifices; you had amazing foresight
Short answer: no, and we probably never will
Long answer: ohhh boi this is a rabbit hole and a half and the reason we will never know is because so many people have lied about being the author, including someone who was trying to get a book deal out of it and someone who made hundreds of sockpuppets and wrote bible fanfic. I'm not joking, and it only gets weirder.
@@spookedblue The person ho wrote this knows it and holy fuck, they must carry a strong burden and gift at the same time
The never ending quest to find our who wrote my immortal is long and complicated. We don't know. A lot of people have claimed to write it and been disproven, multiple people with verifiable connections to the original fanfic (were liked authors or mentioned in the credits) have different stories about the author but all won't out them.
Cormac McCarthy RIP
@@spookedblue >bible fanfic
what
I come back to this series every now and then, it has become a bit of a tradition for me to sit through them, it genuinely feels tragic that we never got to see more
In all honesty. This makes sooooo much more sense when put to "animation."
Matthew H
Having a visual for this insanity certainly helps.
888 likes
Yeah I’m not touching that
f'ng 911 likes. good job, ma boi.
🖒
Because she's shit at writing so you can't tell what's going on without visual aids
@@thatguynoonelikes4865 this is visual aids
"Ebony is not a Mary Sue okay????"
Ebony: "Omg I'm too pretty so everyone is in love with me (But I'm not a Snob or anything duh) and I'm too good at everything."
She's just not a prep, she's goffic
STAHP FLAMING PREP
It's pathetic to have A Mary Sue or A self insert, and it's extremely pathetic to have A self insert that is A mary sue, that just says bad things about the authors personality, But when you try to deny it, that when you've crossed A line
@@thatguynoonelikes4865 i mean i guess depending on the story a self insert can work, if the author is aware enough of their own personality to really make a good tridimensional self insert with the good and the bad things the author's personality has, but i' ve never seen that because usually self inserts are the biggests mary sues
@@nessyness5447 They may be hard to find, but they do exist out there, I've read a few that did pretty well at it. The issue is that most people who write self inserts aren't experienced enough to write it out well enough.
omg when Harry said "omfg noooo! my scaaar hurrrts!" I can't 🤣😭
Every 8 to 10 months I revisit this entire epic experience! 🙏🏽
same 😭🤣