NEW | Indie Animation Oribis Pilot | First Look 2024 | First 8 minutes
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
- 🌟 Welcome to the World of Oribis! 🌟
In this first glimpse of Oribis (Act 1 of our pilot), we dive into a broken Utopia created by the evil scientist and capricious demiurge Ivan. Meet Fen, our plucky Ward of the Rat - a spirited girl who is haunted by dreams of death and destruction, like a prophet receiving visions from an angry God. Watch as their journey begins with intrigue, danger, and humour-all setting the stage for a story like no other.
If you are a fan of serialised storytelling with complex themes for older viewers, like Avatar the Last Airbender, The Dragon Prince and Over the Garden Wall, you're a fan of dark animé like Black Butler, or you're itching to dive into fractured digital worlds like in Sword Art Online or .Hack, Oribis might be just what you're looking for!
Created by indie Irish studio Dúlamán, our small team wants to extend our sincerest thanks to anyone who watches, shares and likes Oribis. Every interaction takes us one step closer to a full animated series!
Don't miss your chance to support Oribis on Kickstarter!
Join us to make this epic series a reality: www.kickstarte...
Follow us on:
UA-cam: @Dulaman_Studios
Instagram: / dulamanstudios
X: x.com/dulamans...
Tiktok: / dulamanstudios
#Oribis #SciFiFantasy #Anime #Kickstarter #irishanimation #indieanimation #anime #animation #swordartonline #voltron #dragonprince #dothack #atla
![PORT BY THE SEA [Animated Pilot]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/eH-ujKvm4Pc/mqdefault.jpg)
I certainly like the air of mystery and whimsy this story seems to have and it feels pretty professional too. I hope you find a way to rapidly increase your viewership on this. Best of luck dudes.
Thanks so much @mix-up9003! If you know anyone who you think would like Oribis, please share this video with them! Every view helps! 🐭👀
I really like the art style and the voice acting is very solid
Thank you @pancakeminezz! 🐭💚 The voice actors did an incredible job, we're so grateful to the whole team!
I rarely find myself with the patience to become invested in a new story these days. This short film, however, was so good that I am now very much interested in where it goes from here. I'm definitely going to share this film with everyone I can.
thank you so much! We really appreciate your likes and shares!
Love this!! Been so excited for the pilot!! I've been keeping up to date on twitter and UA-cam and I'm glad I have! It didn't disappoint!! 💕
Thank you so much Sinéad! We really appreciate your support! 🐭heart💚
@@Dulaman_Studios No worries!! The animation is incredible! Will definitely be sharing :3
Spoilers for the end
TL;DR
It looks highly polished, the animation is good, and the lore seems interesting. The intro immediately throws you head first into tons of questions. The apparent secret of the redhead (main character?) is a nice setup for some suspenseful plot.
However, there is just not a lot going on. For a pilot, I think it is best to bring out the most of what you can do, put everything into it, details can be fine-tuned later. IMHO a pilot should spark interest in the series. It also should contain your main theme and conflict, and also make a case for your main character, which I feel wasn't achieved here.
My review is mostly focused on 00:00 - 06:28.*
I tried my best at understanding the dialogue, but the combination accent + made-up fantasy terms is really hard on me (non-native speaker with auditory processing issues. high-level English didn’t help). Also, I didn’t remember any of their names except the main character. Subtitles would be highly appreciated!
There is a lot going on while not enough action is happening, and I suggest cutting a few things and give other, more important things their much needed focus. Said things need to be self-sufficient without further explanation (aka NO in-universe terms).
Specifically:
- What is the main theme of the show? Friendship? Trust? Revolution??? A "theme" can also be defined as a question the show seeks to answer. Examples: The Avatar has "Can one boy alone end the war and bring world peace?" (answer: no. but with his friends and allies, yes). Dragon Prince has "Will a young boy, after uncovering the kept secret, right the wrongs of humanity thus restoring peace between the races?" (It was a little harder to figure that question out, because there's an underlying mystery of an ancient entity - which needs to be its own separate question! Possibly after the first one has been answered.) Be bolder and more concise with your theme.
- What is the main conflict of the show? The most obvious conflict seems to be between long white hair guy and bulky guy. More on that below.
- Cut the animals' conversation.* Their lore can be compacted and given to other characters instead, for example a (on-topic) comment about their role (~10 sec) (no in-universe terms!). Their relationship can be shown nonverbally through expressions or actions, in the background or during other characters' dialogue, bonus points if the camera focuses on them while the conversation revolves around them. Lore can be expanded on in future episodes. time gained: ~35 secs
- Cut aka shorten the main character's interactions. Make 'em short but sweet, quick but impactful. time gained: 2~3 mins
- MORE BEEEF!!! Use the newly obtained 3~4 mins to expand on the main conflict. The most obvious, high-stakes one seemed to be between long white hair and bulky, and whatever the lords were discussing about. Expand on the politics just enough to make the audience more interested in the world and stakes.
Push their expressions. Leaning into "extreme" interactions would NOT make the characters less nuanced, on the contrary. This is a medium-high tension scene where different world views clash, shown through posture, expressions, aka nonverbal reactions, and of course what the characters verbally express about the topic OR to/about each other (!). The characters can show nuance in future episodes. One good thing I found is that the dialogue is written well. Add more gestures, more movement, push the expressions to an extreme, and it'll be great.
[From the description it looks like the MAIN main conflict is something else, but it SEEMS like this should be at least the surface-level main conflict. Something for the audience to chew on so they can learn about the world, while the MAIN main conflict gradually unfolds, hidden beneath the assumed main conflict. Let the audience take joy in uncovering the main mystery by themselves. example: Gravity Falls]
- and MOST IMPORTANTLY: Make a case for your main character. The show is supposed to be mostly from Fenris’ POV, right? They have enough screentime, most of it they’re treated like the other characters. You have to show the audience why Fen is important. What sets them apart from the others? - Why did the call screen show that name? Let that scene sink in more, show Fen’s existential dread, show their INTERNAL CONFLICT in some form or capacity. They are not a blank slate, they don’t have to be the most relatable person, but they are the center of the show, right? Don’t stay on surface level interactions. Really zoom in on their inner world (not necessarily through thoughts), make it clear we see the other characters from their perspective. Focus on Fen.
You have set high expectations by mentioning ATLA and Dragon Prince, but right now, this reminds me of High Guardian Spice, no offence. If you want to write a show that is moving, impactful, and incites deep thought, you have to pour your soul into it. The pilot gives the audience far too many questions while not enough are answered. The emotional and political conflicts are not suspenseful enough.
Focus on the meat of the show, and cut everything else. Doesn’t matter if some parts of it are unpolished (it can be a crudely drawn animatic for time saving sake), use the limited span of the pilot episode to establish the most important things: the theme of the show, the main conflict, and the main character.
I hope this helps!
Good luck!
*(I spent so much time analysing and reviewing and I have a whole fkin essay but I don't have the energy to edit the whole thing so these are just my most important points. other thoughts and explanations not included)
First episodes can get away with a slow start (ex ATLA, although it still sets up interest, mystery, and relationships without overloading or boring the audience), but I think the purpose of a pilot episode is to put interest first and worry about a proper first episode later
Hi Huntressordinary, thank you so much for taking so much time and giving a detailed and well-thought-out review!
This is just the first 8 minutes of the eventual 24 min pilot, so what you are seeing is Act 1 of the three act structure - therefore, the majority of your critiques are spot on in this regard. In act 2 a lot more is explained, a lot more action happens, and by act 3 the central mysteries about Fen and her fate are laid bare. The entire episode VA is recorded but we currently have no funding to go into full production.
As this project is all self-funded currently, our team wanted to create a small amount of animation to a high quality, as a proof-of-concept for what the show will hopefully eventually look like 💚🐭We are trying to obtain funding from Kickstarter and several other avenues, and you need a rock-solid proof-of-concept for what the final product will look like.
There will be surface-level conflicts, broader political conflicts, and then another layer deeper - outside the bounds of the world of Oribis altogether.
We actually have a lot of worldbuilding information and character info on our Kickstarter page, but we're still working out how to post about the worldbuilding and characters on our various @dulamanstudios accounts without those videos getting buried by the algorithm!
If you're interested in learning more about all the heart and soul that went into building this world, please check us out on Kickstarter here www.kickstarter.com/projects/oribis/oribis?ref=9ipdw7
I also just wanted to let you know that I (SMM) am currently working on the captions - as someone with Auditory Processing Disorder myself I understand how helpful they can be, but as someone with auditory processing disorder, transcribing has taken a lot longer than I'd have liked! You can look forward to a new version with captions and some directions to links as well soon! 🐭💚
This was awesome dude! I’ve been following since your posts on instagram so cool to see the whole thing come together!
Yeah looks brill!!
@melassabellabulla + @Greayworks thanks so much to you both! 💚💚💚 We really appreciate you all following our journey!
I love the artstyle! Great work on both the animation and voice acting.
I'd love to see more :)
The animation looks so good and the voice acting is perfect! Can't wait for this series!
Support creativity, fight AI
YAHH THIS LOOKS AMAZING! EVERYONE DID AN AMAZING JOB ON THIS. Can't wait for more!! ^^
Oh geez, the algorithm reaaaally isn't doin it's job here... this was so fun and charming!! My compliments to the wonderful chefs!!! :DDD
Looks okay, but lacked overall plot. And that meeting was absolutely not at all functioning like a real meeting 😅 However, I am HYPE for everyone coming out with indie animation pilots. I hope to do the same, and I hope to see tons more independent artists make their visions come to life. Keep up the grind 💪
Hi Mrtiredeyes, this is just the first 8 minutes of the eventual 24 min pilot we have planned! We wanted to create a small amount of animation to a high quality as a proof-of-concept for what the show will hopefully eventually look like 💚🐭
If you want to know more, please check us out on Kickstarter here where we have a lot more info on the worldbuilding and characters www.kickstarter.com/projects/oribis/oribis?ref=9ipdw7
Placing a comment here, to boost your algorithm!
Remember views bring up the system guys, not likes and comments ,so get all the people you know to watch this!
@@Higheeler 🐭💚 you're a real MVP!
Looks awesome!
Thank you so much! 🐭💚
This looks really cool! The tweens look to be going on threes instead or the usual twos, and the lip-sync could be a bit more accurate, but I'm definitely looking forward to seeing how this improves in the future.
Thanks for the advice! This might actually be due to a codex or upload error, so we will have our team look into it!
hello
it good
must more people see it?
Yes.
Thank you so much! Please share it with anyone you think might enjoy it! And visit us at @dulamanstudios on our different social media channels for more news! 🐭
Great job 👍
Ya know what, I'm sold. This genuinely seems really interesting
This looks really put-together! Congrats on finishing your pilot!
Actually, this is just the first 8 minutes of the eventual 24 min pilot we have planned! We wanted to create a small amount of animation to a high quality as a proof-of-concept for what the show will hopefully eventually look like 💚🐭
If you want to know more, please check us out on Kickstarter here www.kickstarter.com/projects/oribis/oribis?ref=9ipdw7
Ze fuq? I vill vigur dis out, when itz haz comes out.
Ayyyyy love how this is looking!!
Thank you so much! 🐭💚 If you want to see cool behind-the-scenes stuff from our artists, remember to check out @dulamanstudios on instagram! Our goal is to have more peeks behind the curtain soon!
Clicked because I thought it was an Outer Wilds animation (Logo looks similar to a symbol found in that game.), stayed for the cool animation.
good shi- m9, visuals remind me of interstellar ranger commence, and characters adhere to the one twink one tomboy and one emo/goth rule in indie pilots. inb4 saberspark watches this
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Omelette. Take 3 Organic Pete and Gerry eggs and mix them with a small amount of milk. Then, put the mixture into a 10 inch round frying pan. Put the lid of the frying pan on and set the heat to 5/med. Wait until the mixture is fully cooked (no raw/wet spots whatsoever). Now, put a reasonable amount of cheddar cheese onto the cooked egg mixture. You can also put bacon with the cheese if that’s what you prefer. After, fold the omelette once (it should look like a semicircle). Now, take the omelette out of the pan for now.
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Enjoy
... good bot?
@@Dulaman_Studios grilled cheese sandwich
That ending was
..
Ominous
This looks really good! Are they trapped in one of Ivan's apps?
Edit: What was up with Fenris calling herself and the camerafly? Some sort of Matrix situation? If all the characters are trapped humans, does that make the rats human or AI?
Guess you'll have to subscribe to find out more
🐭😜💚
This is absolutely beautiful! Amazing composition and voice acting!
I wanna see more from here, you’ve earned a sub
Pleeeeaaaaase algorithm, do your job for once.
We demand MORE
User RobopUA-cam, if you want more you know what to do! Share with your friends and join us over on our Kickstarter 💚🐭
Here www.kickstarter.com/projects/oribis/oribis?ref=9ipdw7
ayyyyy this is so cool!
thank you so much! 🐭💚 If you wanna see more behind the scenes stuff coming up, you can check out our shorts or @dulamanstudios on Insta, X or Tiktok! We try to update everyone as much as possible!
The music is interesting if nothing but the voice acting is solid good work!
Interesting! Happy to have seen this and hopeful to see where this goes.
Also as a chemistry major quite pleased by the reference.
The art style reminds me of voltron and avatar the last Airbender. Which really sets it apart part from other than Indy projects well done
very nice, i like the worldbuilding done here and characters
I love it! I hope it gets more attention
I love the art style and the voice acting hope this gets more attention!!
This looks great!
Here's hoping it gets the recognition it deserves!
The animation is excellent! Good job!
The little silent shoulder tap the lady did to get Smurf boy to stfu was a really cool little visual
Daym, hope this one gets a ton of views, it deserves it
This looks very interesting
Keeping my eye on this. Looks very solid
High guardian spice
He does not look like a herald
I like this
WHY IS THIS NOT VIRAL???
You know what to do @dragonluvver975 you gotta spread the word! 🐭💚
Awesome.
Well done! Very well done indeed! 😁👍
This looks promising.
It looks ambitious.
Oh my god an indie anime?
This is amazing!
Looks great! :D
Good work!
Too much sci-fi/fantasy stuff without any explanation. It's just not engaging if there's no lead-in. In fact, it's pretty cringy, like an early 2000's Saturday morning kids' cartoon. There's also the problem of their mouths not quite syncing up, like an English dub of an old anime. It might be good if it was toned town a little. Just don't try so hard to fill every niche genre and try to focus on a narrower audience demographic.
Hi Jacob, the sync issue is being fixed currently, and was a codex issue so hopefully should be looking a lot less off by Monday!
As for the saturday morning cartoon energy and tropes, you are completely right - in fact, all of these tropes and the sunny outlook will start to break and fracture as the series unfolds, revealing an existential horror theme. This world is an artificial creation based on the nostalgia of a lonely scientist! If that sounds in any way interesting to you, there's a lot more worldbuilding on our kickstarter page if you're interested www.kickstarter.com/projects/oribis/oribis?ref=9ipdw7
i fking swear to god if i see the name MICHAEL KOVACH in the voice actros ONE MORE FKING TIME
edit: you got lucky, he wasn't in the cast
🐭🕵♂ I don't know what that is, I am a mere rat with a keyboard, but rest assured for now you are safe from the threat of MICHAEL KOVACH, user @lukasvavra2473!
I didn't quite understand the concept of it (Is it like a modernistic world with contemporary technology and everything, but in a fantasy setting?), but it's still nonetheless amazing. All the characters, even with their microscopic screentime, have distinct personality, and the animation is superb for such a little-known channel. Extremely underrated, I wish to see this get popular, just like how a lot of indie animation projects (e.g. Ramshackle) blew up.
Hi Nick, thanks so much for watching! if you want to learn more about the world in this sneak peek, we have loads more information on our kickstarter, as well as production artwork and behind-the-scenes! Please check it out here! www.kickstarter.com/projects/oribis/oribis?ref=9ipdw7
Your characters sat in a room and talked for 9 minutes. Talking about things that we have no prior context for or have seen.
That was a bold move for a first impression, to say the least.
I personally would've liked a change in scenery to break this up a bit more.
But hey, grain of salt n whatnot
Thanks for your feedback - this is only the first act of a larger story, and was contained within one location for budgetary reasons, to make sure everything was deliverable in this snippet to a high visual quality. Next on our agenda is opening the world a lot more and including big action scenes, so if you're interested in learning more please check out our Kickstarter www.kickstarter.com/projects/oribis/oribis?ref=9ipdw7
This is great! The character design, voice acting, and animation are all wonderful! I’m a little confused as to what’s supposed to be going on but I’m sure that it’s partially intentional. This deserves to be seen by more people!
Hi Jack, thanks so much for watching! Since this is only the first 8 minutes, it's definitely supposed to have a lot of unanswered questions! However, we actually have a lot of worldbuilding stuff over on our Kickstarter here www.kickstarter.com/projects/oribis/oribis?ref=9ipdw7 if you are interested in learning more! 🐭💚
I got a bit confused from the first watch, but after reading the description it made more sense. The setting is interesting and the character designs are cute and readable. Hopefully you reach your goal and more episodes are made
thanks so much for your feedback! If you're confused at all, please stay tuned for more videos on our channel diving into the world and characters! We also have more background info on our kickstarter page if you are interested! www.kickstarter.com/projects/oribis/oribis?ref=9ipdw7
Honestly I imagined some voices differently, but it's quite easy to get used to them
That's literally my only "critique"
@Claudiodimaio - we have more characters still to unveil as the series progresses - are there any voice talents you'd love to hear in the mix? 👀
Niiiice! 🎉
Nice
I never heard or seen anything about this, but I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT ❤❤❤ definitely gonna keep up to date on this😊❤
Thanks so much Victoria! 🐭💚 If you want to find out more or stay updated, we're @dulamanstudios on Insta, X and Tiktok! You can also check out our kickstarter which just launched yesterday at www.kickstarter.com/projects/oribis/oribis
Omh
My jaw dropped when seeing this! This is underrated!!
thank you so much Ms Gemini 🥺
This is amazing! Love seeing this from a small Irish animation studio 🥹🙏🏻 it’s so inspirational I hope the project goes far 🫶🏻💞💞
Love the pilot, what animation software did you use?
Hi DrizzleStudioes - Our team used Toonboom to animate frame-by-frame. We'll be showing some step-by-step examples of how it was all put together soon! 🐭💚
Now this is cool, you should make more eps
Drogan936, we really want to make more eps - you can help us get one step closer by sharing with your friends, and checking us out on Kickstarter as well! www.kickstarter.com/projects/oribis/oribis?ref=9ipdw7
More people need to see this!!!
Mitch it is hereby your solemn duty to spread the word of Oribis to anybody you think might like it!
🐭📢
I put it in my indie playlist. I just wish more people would know about this playlist ;-;
First time I've heard of this and I'm already in love with the design and character dynamics! Keep it up!!
Honestly. This should get waaaayyyy more recognition, it's so well done
thank you so much! If you want to see more about Oribis, our Kickstarter is here: www.kickstarter.com/projects/oribis/oribis?ref=9ipdw7
Or you can follow us on Instagram, X and Tiktok @dulamanstudios!