Before Marrying Someone, ASK THEM THESE QUESTIONS - Deepika Bhardwaj
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- Опубліковано 26 вер 2024
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Deepika Bhardwaj is a men's rights activist. Indian journalist and now also a documentary filmmaker. It was an absolute pleasure to be speaking to someone with so much depth and clarity about what one stands for.
Deepika talks about finding the right partner for yourself. She said, “There is no right formula for it.” She suggests it is important to have clarity on what you want from marriage for both men and women. I feel it is important to date people when you are young as it teaches you a lot about what the other person wants.
#marriage #1315
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But whatever you mentioned mam still it doesn't works, I have Intercaste marriage.. Bfr he agreed to everything thn he changed started dominating, his sister has taken charge of his life completely, every single details are shared with her, quarrel, fights was on rise.. Presently I came back to my hometown he is there but threat r given to come back, than suddenly he talks good n so on.. Marriage only works on truth not by Camouflaging it
Ranveer dress properly........
@@poonamnaik3524 yy
♾️✨
When you become more intellectual ,forget marriage, u r so done with people n world
avg 14 year old
@dangy ho 🍻
😁 This is true.
True
Me in a nutshell.
Great one. But i disagree when you said men are less emotional. Being emotional is something which is subjective.
Great Men are supposed to be more stoic( meaning ur emotions don't affect ur actions). But no one is perfect at it and everyone is trying it making it seem like Men are not emotional.
My mam is very emotional than me
You have no experience of dating any woman .......
Brother, here What I feel emotional means. Most Men are only emotional when something bad happens in personal or love life. Or else they are focused on their goals. Where as most Women use emotional lens for every possible decision.
Thinking emotionally and being emotional are TWO different things.
I asked her all these questions (that concerned to my life and job, family): She said Yes, BIG YES (I was not compelling her to say Yes, but I was looking for someone, who is okay with all my concerns)... before the marriage! But just after marriage she did completely opposite to what she said. When I reminded her words, she told me, she acted as she thought I was testing her. Life is not a game, but she assumed it is. Unfortunately, it damaged my life too.
Women overthinks and trys to play games
I hope SHE is not reading ur comment bro
Otherwise aur damage ho jayegi life 😅
Bro in india you should avoid getting married.
(PS: I see you have edited the comment, after my reply and added that you were not expecting her to say 'yes' lol. This makes me doubt the authencity of your comment. Even then, I don't see the need for you to get sad if you are okay with someone not saying yes to your expectations. Even men make promises to us they will stop smoking or drinking or gambling money and they still do and we don't feel our world's crashing down.) Its sad you wanted a woman that said 'yes' to all these questions. I am going to get heavy blacklash over here but here's the truth.. women want partners that equally compromise.. and yes what she did was wrong but if you had told her right from the beginning where you are willing to compromise for her and where you expect her to maybe things could have turned better. It's utter stupidity to expect anyone to say yes to each and every expectation of yours, be it man or woman.
@@shilpar6506 mam with due respect I agree with all your points....
But if you won't mind I would like to ask a personal query of mine..
Going along with whatever one partner is willing is not okay at all but do you really think living with family affects or downgrades a women's career in personal?
I am just asking it out of curiosity to know women's psychology behind this.
I have a sister in law (Bhabhi) and bhaiya as well as bhabhi they live with us and my mother helps in her daily activities of family and bhabhi is still doing her job.
My family ( parents, bhaiya as well as bhabhi too) are very close to my heart.
Bhabhi maa treats me as her own son and things I feel I can't share with anyone, I share it with her.
So,my question is...... Is it a rare case that women happily lives with family of husband (as in case of my sister in law) or it is a normal case?
If women don't want to live with family of husband then what could be the possible reasons?
Thank you for your precious time.
Highly anticipating an answer.
I told him, "I want to study after marriage". He said that he will support my education!! And after marriage, I was treated worst than a bonded labour... Now with two kids, I am left to fend for myself!! Best thing in life is to be independent - emotionally and financially...
Yes , I also have seen such cases.
Can't trust ppl this is y marriage is joke nowadays the ppl r not worth it
But career takes time what about baby 🤔 it will take 25 age to complete idk what to do
Toh tumhe kisne kaha tha study krte huye shadi krne ko
Pehle namoone ladko ke peeche bhagti hain ladkiya fir baad mein roti hain pehle hi kisi shareef ladke se love krlo
"Men are blind by 'all women are good' that they don't want to see a red flag"
This line was so correct by her, often I have seen my friends behaving like a complete idiots and go behind a girl while keeping this whole stupid narrative in their minds. They gotta have some questions and put in forward what they REALLY want.
Marriage is an outdated concept of society. Marriage has no place in today's materialistic, consumer driven, commercial society. Marriage is just a commercialized institution of society. Its all about money and social convenience
You talking about me my friend!! Ha ha. Yes. You're spot on.
Biharis are vikharis
Bollywood
Some just go blind with what they see.... Some choose people for temporary only few actually look out for a lifepartner.... This is irrespective of gender..... We find, explore, learn, understand and if you and ur partner are ready to make things work out for each other , it's great, if not its okay, moving on is better..... Coz life has many other colors....💕
After listening to this podcast i have decided not to get married ... ❤️🤣
True❤️...beyond this pitty playcard love is the most cool
Good. 👍
Go for it..🤣🤣
Well I have also decided the same
It is the new normal bro , you are not alone !!
One cannot change men / women when they are above 25 so you better have to observe things through their actions. Because saying something is very easy but one cannot do something they haven't done in their lifetime because behaviour comes from habits , upbringing.
One should know how to observe what is good in person or bad in person
very true. brain become resistant to change after 25. for majority.
@@Akpandey69 What should we observe exactly?
@@persistent-s search fresh and fit clips watch first video it explains everything
@@entropymusicoriginalsReally-?
Main points discussed were-
Does she want to live with your parents? ( Yes/No)
Does she want you to live with her parents?
( Yes/No)
Will you be okay if she leaves her job for few years for baby?( Length of time, Yes/No)
Will you be okay if you have to leave your job for few years for baby?( Length of time, Yes/No)
Will she move with you, if you have to go elsewhere for job?
Will you move with her, if she has to go elsewhere for job?
Will you financially help her family members?
Will she financially help your family members?
(Brother/sister education, parents health expenses)
Thanks
Faith in human kind restored, thank you sir
the last two is a very hard decision - financially helping family members
@@AshTheDukeYES should be decision for both.
When people date, couples meet, they put in their best "self" forward; they can be in this state till marriage and even till the honeymoo phase; after that the real person with his good and bad emerges and that causes all the issues. Main issue is not knowing the person in totality before marriage. Besides people change with time, environment & situations. One needs to know the other well enough to deal with such changes. Marriage is not like buying furniture... that one can change after a couple of years.
Good piece of advice sir👍👍
Do u think Indian parents will allow to check each other like this
Well said.deep🙏
Acclimatization to the changing surrounding, environment is the key for sure but sometimes husband or wife dont want to get themselves adaptive to the changing situations they expect to remain the same it is like driving maruti 800 in the generation of Tesla. The point is if you see closely you will find that men suffer most than women in case of emotionally, financially, physically etc as compared to women. In this capitalized society people are becoming more financially dependent whether it be men or women. Marriage sustains on the trust, balance and understanding. Basically no one can tale how to sustain a marriage because marriage doesn't come with a contract of rules and regulations, if it goes well then it will go good for long time and if it doesn't then one has to face the situation whatever it may be. Man / women can change the breaking marriage scenario if they think closely and logically on it, if one don't want to be with her/him even after the close observation then it's her/his choice to do whatever they think is good for him/her.
Hey You stole this line from Major Sushant singh right.He said the exact same shit.😄😄
I have decided a long time ago not to get married but after watching this podcast I am more convinced to not get married. 😂😂
Yes me too. This modern time is against good men.
Me too
Me2 😂 😂
@@anjalisuresh9574 bhai shadi mat kar benefit me rahega tips from a married man and regretting the decision
Oh my god bery bery fonny
She is absolutely right.
I am 36 and unmarried.
People blame me indirectly for this.
But I figure out the big red flags of all the marriage offer I have received.
I am only one to take care of my parents and they live in a very small place. So, I left my job from Mumbai and moved back once my sister got married. No girl would like to shift here after marriage.
She got her own parents too. If only your sister was not required by societal expectations to leave both of your parents, you could have been free to go and live anywhere. And if you want to live with your parents but some woman you meet and date doesn't want that, she should not be blamed too. But why do people blame you btw?
@M bhai/behen jo bhi tum ho. Just assume the same happens to your son/daughter you’ll get your answer.
@@user-bw8yn3zr1s if she doesn't want that then look for a different fish. There is a large ocean and there are different kinds of fish.
You did really good by not marrying
Yes right thing to do.
8:36 I would rather choose to make friends with opposite gender than dating because during dating people tend to show their best self and while in a friendship good is good and bad is bad.
Dhoodh ka doodh, pani ka pani.
I think its other way round
You can't just be friends for a long time with another opposite.. there is so much nuance and complexity involved . The idea of friendship kindly beware of it ..
Ya doodh bi milta hai and Pani bi
3:14
"The idea is all women are good, so they do not even want to see the red flags".
story of my life 🙂
All women good 😂😂
😂ambe heard mil gyi kya.
@@antrikshachatterjee368 u not good ? 😅
There is no such thing as "choosing the right partner". Obviously there are red flags, but you can never predict how someone will behave in certain circumstances
if you stay with anyone long enough you will find red flag for whatever reason you want it to be.
Well said
It happens mostly in live in relations now a days
human beings are very predictable you can always judge people from your past experiences, you just need basic understanding how people work
Ikr you only know them by spending time together
relationships r fluid, continuously evolving...this is not a school admission tht you ask yes/no questions...rather focus on getting to know the person over time, and this also means working on your own self awareness levels, give time before committing to relationships or marriage.
TRUE
I think people have made it more complicated even if discussed you never know what situations will arise...only when love and understanding exist all such things will be easy to deal with
But these type of questions are important to continue the relationship . Something are not compromisable . These type of things should be cleared soon in relationship otherwise relations can't be evolved
Yeah if we had 500 years to live then yes we could do that , getting to know the person OVERTIME
This is so true what me n my guy were ten years ago is not who we are now!! People grow and thus relationships evolve...
We still leave in a society where dating is not totally accepted. For arranged marriages, we get to decide in just one meet. And just to have a good impression, people tend to say yes for everything. Like RishiS UK mentioned problems starts later on. Its not about men or women, its the way our society is.
True
Come to Germany, people are very open and at the same time respectful here which I didn't see back there in India :)
@@thatguy4010 only priviledged people can go to germany.
Yah I talked to a man first time just for ten minutes and they wants me to married with him in next 3 days. But problem is I didn't feel anything from him, not positive or negative vibes. Nothing. I connect with the family even I met first time but not him. My family forcing me to marry him. He is a good person. But I don't feel anything. Am I a stupid , should I marry him, every thing is good in his family and him...
@@user-pc1pd7ub3q tf u just met him..nd they wanted u to marry him in just 3 days?..gurl Don't do that..u just only met the guy.. take a time to know him..
Once married, make sure family stays away, from your marriage.
Women have more levels of emotions but they have issues in communication.
Men treat women like their guy friends...
Parents are the main reason for most of the divorce cases, second is career.
I'll make sure HER family
Stays away from our relationship. Not mine. I'll involve mine....
@@akashmishramgtow2361 don't just DON'T either keep both or leave both .. there's no between Bro .. this idea itself is a Red flag
@@thesublimesoul7231 absolutely true this happened with me. I never involved my family but since day 1 he has been involving his mum , his cousin , his aunt n uncle n now we r heading for a divorce.
@@akashmishramgtow2361 MGTOW men only get man to marry. No women of her same mind would marry a MGtow mf😂
@@Heartcutelittlethings12._ Mom & Dad are important part of lif of both person. How can someone Ignore them??
Just to let everyone know it is not that this is that straightforward. If you ask someone yes, no questions. And expect them to answer honestly. I find in marriage or before people lie a lot. Everyone should focus on their goals and if anyone helps them to be in that journey then you should marry. It works both ways!
Many man gonna die single in that case lol coz woman never make a 1st move if u know..!
@@Jay_Kamle better to die single than suffer a lifetime of misery and penury.
For arranged marriage their should be a lie detector test or handcuff each other ask the difficult questions
@swati-hy6uv. yes get to know the person and trust your gut feeling about the person
Johnny Depp's case is the best example for what will happen if you go for a person only for their looks rather than their mindset. "Don't trust a woman's words trust her actions". A woman can move mountains if she is truly in love with you. woman's words are connected to her mood Once her mood changes so does her words. Sometimes They'll deny what they said. They'll put the blame on their period. Communication is never the key for a perfect relationship, both genders can lie without hesitation. Women think that it's okay to put blame on their mood for acting crazy sometimes.Find a woman who is mature, find a woman takes accountability for what she says or said, find a woman who accepts her mistake instead of arguing she's always right. Stop doing this social media shit "Miss always right", "women are never wrong".
💯💯💯💯 all women are same psychology.
Exactly
He left his long time girlfriend( the mother of his children also) for this young women amber
@@exolovebambibambi1763 wow!! this is news to me.
But can you really trust a woman's actions
I respect you a lot Ranveer...
BUT...
Please wear some Pants,
Let the guest speak more...
If u already have answers, make a Solo Podcast...
Finally someone called this out!
Very true man! And he also generalizes everything based on his experience and talks less about the reality without being prejudiced.
i agree with the second part but what is the pant part ? god ! grow up
Pants?
He'd wear what he wants
Pants? Why bro I mean let him be what he is
You need to be little open minded. Just ask question. Don't give answer in your question. Don't look for answer you want to listen. You are narrowing the view of the guest. I believe they have many more perspectives to share. And thanks for letting the guest speak more.
Bro he does this in his every podcast 😅 He talks more than the guest 🤦♂️
He is an interviewer and not a podcaster
@@peekaygaikwad4117 Bhai tu ja idhar se , tere se nahi hoga
Finally someone is doing an effort to bring up these kind of topics to everyone. Great work. Keep it up👍
Before asking questions to the other person, we should also ask the same questions to ourselves. What are the areas which we are ok to adjust? What is it that we bring to the relationship? How flexible we are to ever changing careers, passions, and lifestyles etc..?
Once we are aware of what we want and how we want it, we can discuss it with the other person.
Based on experience, during the first few meetings, we are so overwhelmed with the other person, we either give in to their expectations and suffer later or we just reject it all together with the fear of failure to meet expectations…
Discussion and respecting those terms will happen when both are on same ground.
First of all we need laws that protect men, then and then only those discussion be fruitful or else it’s just a trap for men in this gynocentric soxiety
@@NiteshKumar-mb1ni agreed
On point mam
What ever you said is 100% true. But sad thing what ever opposite person says they only don't keep their word. Especially in men case or I can say in my life.
@@reshmaraj3203 even gals dont keep their words
Men aren't less emotional. Men have greater self control because of the training since childhood. Of course it can sometimes become too much in an unhealthy way.
but women tend to pretend even more about their emotions and desires
That's why they suffer from heart attack
@@শ্রেয়াচক্রবর্তী-ছ৬জ data says otherwise.
@@amishrawat9753 Even if such data exists, it pretentious.
This I did in my marriage. And always advise my siblings and others to follow this. Be clear with each other about each other expectations before getting into marriage.
This is very insightful. I hope this will help people a lot! Thanks, Ranveer and team.
All problems = One Solution...DO NOT GET MARRY AT ALL...That's it....sidhi baat...no bakwaas.
Running from a problem instead of facing it is not solution. It's a coward mentality
It is better to learn from someone else's mistake than your own. Sometimes the rectification for the mistake can involve our whole lifetime until our death. So, I agree with the initial commentator and would summarize "Be very careful before you sign the marriage document". Problem will get far more expensive to solve when you also have a child with the partner (1st mistake = marrying the wrong woman 2nd mistake = having a child with the wrong partner 3rd mistake = child and wife will work together to destroy you). If this happens, you will be financially (current assets + future earnings) and emotionally exhausted.
Bro what should i do my sexual desire
😂😂😂😂
It makes so so much sense that before marriage get your conditions right like what Deepika said. So so practical and sensible
asking such questions won't help .. since females are emotional decision makers .. they will change their decisions whenever they feel like. So, as long as the female has respect for their partners .. they will stay around .. So, its best for males to maintain their respect by not tolerating bad behaviour and following their goals and ambitions
Ok your are right they should follow their goals and ambitions and their partners can't tolerate and leave them because they can't see themselves in your goals.
@@sreevaishnavikommuri4253then be the better person and earn more than him
Really good point, however I believe we also need to deeply learn about the woman's past. It is extremely important, especially for hard working, well cultured gentlemen who wish to build a happy life with a good lady. In a hell lot of cases, really good men get stuck with absolute 3rd class W**res who have been screwed left right and center by random F boys/ bad boys during their youth and as soon as they approach 30s they want a 'WELL SETTLED, INNOCENT GENTLEMAN' to suck up and ruin his life with their used and abused bodies and mind🤢🤢🤮🤮Typical 'EMPOWERED MODERN WOMAN' in a nutshell
I am 20 yrs older than you but I agree with all conversation ….. hats off …. GOD Bless ❤❤❤
I was a Victim of False 498a and DV act. Fortunately all the cases (5) filed by her was dismissed by Karnataka High Court in July 2023 and got divorced in August 2023.
What I learnt?
Take care of your parents . Don’t be desperate to get married. Being single has more perks.
Better to stay single than tolerate emotional damage.
Either adopt a child or go abroad and get a child though surrogacy (Since India has banned that too).
I’m not against marriage, if a genuine girl comes, i will definitely get married. But most of the marriages now have become a business.
Get married outside India.
Good luck
Good luck
Surogaccy also needs women and commercial surrogacy is banned in India which I think is right.dont. Go by single living idea otherwise our country will be like uk .
@@kavishwarmokal124lol
I like the way she has been so precise with what kind of conversations couples need to have before getting married. Really enjoyed the show.
Still in our society saying
All Women are good human,they will do no any mistake..
I heard many times in my town.
But in metro cities many says that only few womens are good
No one told me this that DATE WHEN YOU ARE YOUNGER, I’m really agree with this we get to know what we want and what we do not want from relationship
And I haven’t thought of dating as well, maybe because in my mind it was fed that it is not good, so I stayed away from dating/relationship
It is so sad that I got to know at this point 😔
I dated. And I suffered. Welp atleast Ik now that I need to improve on my communication. And actions. But I did realized that dating isn't for me I really need a long term relationship. Also I usually try to be myself when it comes to dating, maybe that's what pushes people back? Idk
No dating is the worst idea of all
Get to know ur self first
And know what u want and u can look for someone who matches with it
Dating and living in before marriage is the most stupid idea
I agree dating is a waste of time and money. Rather do hook ups
Bhai aapke to persnal law jindabad aap tension mat lo
Bhai tumhare Islam me to kulle langde ko bhi 2-3 aaraam se mil jaati hai. Tum mast raho. Hamare Hinduo me ladkiyo ke nakhre hai ab. Jitna freedom hai girls ko utna hi headache bhi.
What she said was just COMMON SENSE!
Most people lack it.
I'm very grateful for my partner. For we have already discussed these questions in our first year of our relationship itself.
But still be careful my brother. She might change her colours in ur bad times... I never trust women...after everything they did with me.
Plz be safe my brother 🙏
Bhai trust a snake 🐍 not a materialistic lady 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲
Dating multiple people when u r teenager , means u r killing the tendency of staying loyal to one partner from childhood itself . Also , Means u r dating people not to be with them for love but to know how can a gender behave in future . So u r from day 1 having something in mind that this person is just a tissue paper or a timepaas . Even in friendship all what they r saying can b learnt , one need not date and play with someone's emotions.
Agree with you brother but nowadays mostly girls only don't want serious relationships. That's where the term nibba nibbi 😂 came in. At this stage when they have not understood life, how will they understand love? For them love is just physical intimacy.
@@jayeshchakravarty5379 parents are to be blamed here that when a child becomes teenage parents are supposed to teach them things more important than just bookish knowledge and make them humans than just ATM machines ... I don't know what has happened to people, if we say child is a naive but are the parents also naive....
True 👍
I just went through divorce and she spoke brilliantly about the mistakes about mistakes I made as a man. Hats off
If you don't mind can you share what were those precisely, it could help many.
Ignore her comments. Self reflect and see what are the gaps in yourself, work on yourself, improvise. Thank her later for the comments. Dont tell her about her mistakes. Thats your revenge. Karma will take care of her.
@@catadventures.7201what Karma bro? You don't know their situation at all. Chill. If she talked about his mistakes, maybe he made terrible ones & deserved it. You don't know who's the right person at all. And who's wrong & is arrogant enough to never admit. Mostly men. Stop wishing bad for unknown people.
@@nishthagupta1357 maybe you should first stop putting "maybe blames" on the man. You guys, marriages Don't always workout. And its okay. Life goes on. I hope for both the man and woman to find happiness and move on.
@@nishthagupta1357you mentioned "maybe..we don't know.. mostly men" all in the same comment. 😂 How do you know it's mostly men? What was your reference? Your personal experience? 😂
Life is so unpredictable so you cannot ask all kinds of questions before marriage, only thing need to check is their family and values, how they are brought up, talk to friends
There is Formula & it starts with Understanding & Staying Calm !
Just avoid marriage guys. Trust me its not worth the reputation it has. Find some hobbies, some purpose in life other than getting married and raising kids.
Very true
Yes, some people are happy casual relationship 👍
@@rohitnayak9952 as long as u don’t live under the same roof. If u live together for more than 6 months, your casual relationship is as good as your wife by SC order.
@@subhajit201 SC also allows extra marital affairs 😅
@@rohitnayak9952 Also adultery once not valid ground for divorce. Wife have to commit adultery multiple times. Only then husband can be granted divorce according to our esteemed SC.
Being spiritual will really important to your mind & other person as well as their mind
Spiritual =brahmacharya start of the problem
Not against women but the ultimate reality is only women, children and pets are loved unconditionally men will have many conditions to get love😢
I really want her to walk the talk.
1. A women checklist of 100 boxes to see/expect in men is considered having standards but if a men expect his wife to cook he is considered sexist, narrow minded.
2. How can you meet all your questions in one person even when you ask them before marriage.
He/she will say yes to some questions and no to some and even then some choices, likings will change with time.
Life always surprise to both. Whatever clarity you make with partner, it changes time to time and how life goes.
You cant say men are not emotional.
I'm thankful I'm not married and don't plan to be married via a contract for life. I'm open to a live in relationship which suits both parties and this way we are truly truthful in the day-to-day relationship.
Yeah. Great idea till you're young enough and your needs have not changed/evolved. We validate our present needs but future will be one day a present too.
@@ROMI909 The future is a paradox. Only the present moment is real. With meditation; if you persevere, life will take care of future life 😉😊
@@Veej77 idk if I want a kid but the whole biological clock thing is crazy
Live-in relationships = marriage
Many matrimonial laws such as DV, Crpc 125 are applicable to live-in relationships. Plus, a girl can also charge you with rape and a false promise to marry. LOL
Are you self aware?
@aditya-ml6km ok, I'll pass on the live-in relationship. 😎
She's very right.
One needs to lay it all out *before* marrying .
If there are major differences in expectations, it's better to step back.
But despite all such efforts, problems can occur after marriage.
Chahe jitna bhi pehle dialogue kar lo, there is always the lottery factor.
Make all efforts to resolve differences. misunderstandings, but if major issues remain , its better to end things, cordially if possible.
Its very important to be be fully aware when the relationship has no happy future rather than continue & live in misery.
And, wait till the relationship has settled down before having a child.
The problem is not that a man wants to support his parents in oldage & stuff. The problem is that a woman's in-laws treat her like outsiders most of the time & still expects every physical labour and house chores from her and not their son. Women know this situation very well & so they mostly want not to stay with her in-laws
That's one aspect and not general assumption
If she is a housewife , why not ?
@@kabirsingh9028 means you want a maid disguised as housewife?
@@Fashionblogger247 and you want a free atm disguised as a man ?
@@kabirsingh9028 I didn’t put across my opinion. On what basis you are asking me that question? Have the guts to answer the raised questions when you put your OPINION on the table. Be answerable rather than just being opinionated. Question for a question doesn’t work , sir
It's about the evolution of the culture. More people are adapting the western culture , the hook up culture and they're thinking it's cool. They're thinking having multiple partners is cool, they're thinking cheating is cool. So many people end up destroying their relationship and regret later.
Exactly my thoughts
Spot on! And, it's not just "Western culture" it's the movies and "Woke Virus" of people which made it so. As a relationship is a trend for people nowadays, they get influenced by Social media personalities & celebs, then try to follow their principles of life. Which makes it difficult for them. However, most people in India think, "in the west, it is normal to have hookups" tbh, it is to a very large extent. But, in many parts where Orthodox Christians live, it's a "NO" from them on these things too.
Let's take sanyas together bro !
Date for (1 - 5+ years) and check if the person is right for you, with time we change, now at the end of that dating period we start doubting the "compatibility" and other shit, break up, find another one, date, this time we get married, after marriage when it takes real work to make it work, one or both chicken out, divorce and cycle goes on. How stupid waste of time. Hold hands and never leave, accept the person with their fault. Live a sweet and sour life, nothing is linear. It all takes commitment and lowering the expectations.
@@ROMI909 but in this materialistic and intolerant world who is going to tolerate ? all are just running behind money and comfort. they divorce people to stay in peace for future but regret it later.
These clips are so good♥️ thank you ranveer
Marriage doesn't guarantee happiness & getting married at a young age don't guarantee happiness at all....
Communication is a very very very important thing in any relationship.. So we need to talk about things instead of assuming that she or he will do as you want... Might not be all but most of the problems might be solved just like that...
I have passed long away from my teenage, you are next level bro, this podcast applies to not just before marriage, but also after. kudos to you!
All relationships cannot be stereotyped. And everything cannot be planned on paper when it comes to human relationships. People evolve, and relationships also evolve. The baseline is to be self aware. When a person is aware of their own patterns and behavior, it's easier to understand others. But when they're not aware of themselves, it becomes difficult to understand others. At the end of the day, a marriage works only because 2 people refuse to give up on each other and they have the conviction to make things work. Choosing the right person depends on our own energy at any given point.
Completely agree 👍
All these words are fine, but the legal system makes it impossible for a man to breathe if the woman wishes to. I dread the day a man stands nothing to lose and will take drastic measures.
@@sreyanshuchaterjee3962 You are operating from a place of fear. One should strive to operate from place of love and compassion.
Also, start making personal relationship with God. "ONLY GOD" actually loves us, no matter what. And the good thing is, he has everything in control. Trust amd surrender. Let go.
@@vasudevsarvam6912 it's not fear. It's about devoid of emotions and operate like scorched earth.
Not all men grow up with the luxury of ease but a legacy of suffering just to keep things going. To be treated as a wallet and a means of social mobility, only to be destroyed over the whim and fancy of a woman, does permanent character change in a person. At such a step a man stops caring anymore. A society where men don't care about consequences is what you get in present day Afghanistan.
This was one of the best things I heard about relationships. Irrespective of a man or a woman's perspective
for all the problems mentioned in this video:
read the following books
1) "The Rational male" series by Rollo Tommassi.
2) "The Red pill handbook".
3) "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert Glover.
4) "The Ape that understood the Universe" by Steve Stewart-Williams
5) "Models" by Mark Manson
6) "The way of superior man" by David Deida
2nd one is most important
@@psaiprateek1417 true👍
yahi t issue h, u guys live in an Indian setting yet rely on western thought. 🤦♂️
@@sumitsaurabh1137 woman psychology is same everywhere
Lots of books on the fraud of feminism
3:14 "The idea is all women are good". Deepika's this word clearly makes her a legend. I was also delusional in past😅
Guys just don't get married, you will regret forever
Don't believe in romantic movies🤠
Thanks Very Informative For Tennagers And Youngster's
How many questions ask your partner before marriage. Nothing will change your fate. We all are chosen to suffer unique and extraordinary fate. So Don't worry.
Why are women wanting a partner who earns more than them? Where is equality ?
Why men alws look fr young , slim, bful girl as partner??
@@yoginagowda741090 % men want intelligent , sensible , cultural and spiritual partner.
Marriage is a big gamble for both men and women. But always check if their actions match their words. And how they treat people around. Never rush into any relationship or marriage. Give it a couple of months.
Honestly upfront conversations don't help always. I had those conversations before marriage many times to get the assurance from the other person. The other person lied then outright and after marriage she turned into a very different person, a person that I don't know even. She wanted to get married to leave her job because her family didn't want her to leave job prior to marriage. Her family was the real culprit who just wanted to move out the problem from their life and now I am completely ruined.
Hey Ranveer, one question if you can circle back with, what if despite all the important conversations before marriage but ambitions and expectations change after marriage? Things and people change with time right!
Don’t just have conversations, the key is to observe and understand the actions as actions speak louder, much louder than words. As human beings we have evolved in a way where speech is manipulated sense but the actions are still are true
@@aajaykapoor Wise comment. As goes the saying "Words are cheap"
16 to 25 learn your own mind. Then once you wanna marry , make your other side to go through same if they haven’t. People going in relationship should have ability to analyse their own actions, thoughts, emotions from a third person perspective.
Get horoscopes checked!! They also throw some light on personalities.
apart from learning all this, please develop your intuition. it helps you navigate not just people but also other situations in a better way. I chose my partner intuitively and he is the best(he has his dark side too but we take responsibility and work together on improving ourselves). To an outsider, he wasn't even 5/10th of an ideal partner. I make all decisions in my life intuitively and I am very happy with what I have built.
How to do it
@@dhruvbhatia5737 its stupidity
How to choose girl for marriage ? Plz sis help.
@@ad8128 Can't tell you in a comment except that Focus on yourself, you meet people who treat you as you treat yourself. So treat yourself as you want to be treated and you will recognize a similar person when they come. It will feel like home with them.
I am a woman I think about career, Cars and practical things in life.... Not all woman want someone who can love them and they bearing the children of the man an raise those kids blah blah Very wrong to generalize
people who listen to you without judging, pay attention to your little things, who are kind, caring & respectful. Understands your feelings. Treat you well are the real ones. You can ask 1000 questions to find a perfect one, but I'm sorry to say people change.. words don't agree with their actions anymore. Some things you just need to observe & feel that's emotion.
In short, getting hurt by the person is inevitable.
Marriage is a scam. 😂
The only way out is for men to stop expecting women to compromise with their families. Also, for women to not be shy on taking on responsibilities. Girls cannot stay with a guy’s parents. Everyone needs their space. Men need to understand this. Man should look after his Oarents and the girl should look after hers. Women shouldn’t expect their husbands for Financial support for their brothers and sisters. He isn’t an ATM. Discuss Money. People avoid discussing Money thinking it will show them as greedy but in the end, Money causes Most of the problems.
Most of the times everything was made clear before marriage, but after marriage anyone can make a U- turn, there is no estoppel.
marriage can be the best or the worst thing a person can do in their lifetime
Great points! Create a safe environment as well-sometimes parents give untold pressure to get married and girls chose to say yes despite feeling like saying no. This is not a man's responsibility BUT unfortunately both people do not benefit from this interference by parents
Ladki sahi bol rahi hai. Make it clear in the starting before it's too late. But men being men become emotional and go with the flow and many times get blinded by her beauty. Which is a blunder.
This mam has always been taking a great initiative for us middle class innocent victims of *Violence from WOMENS*
Relationships are too complicated these days. Whatever you do to make your love happy, it's all end up in sadness and suffocation. Someone please comfort me with something, coz I'm sick of love!
Marriage itself is an outdated concept belonging to the stone age. Society has changed and its institutions cannot be caught up in a time wrap. Today, marriage is a commercial transaction meant for social convenience and conformation. High time that this institution is modernized and reformed.
What do you suggest? any new idea?
@@fanaticcoder3320 contract with zero liabilities to husband and pre nuptial agreement
@@thecontrarycontrarian4230 prenup not valid in india. Even in USA prenups gets thrown out of court if women starts crying. So, tough choice for men.
nahi bro . aaj bhi small town m UNMARRIED hona INFERIOR mana jata h.
@@sonujain2348 are you saying that marriage is not commercialized, outdated? Inferior manne se Kya hoga? Outdated hai
First thing and last thing..."There are no rules to establish a good relationship". Rest all is Moh-Maya. One need to keep evaluating n evolving whichever way it leads... Trust me, that's the best thing to happen in the end.
What’s said in podcast is absolutely correct but while sitting on the negotiation marriage table, one should not be putting too many straight questions about life after marriage, rather, the partners should judge the mind set of the other partner as in whether the partner is open minded, flexible, dynamic, is respectful etc. because with time people and their choices evolve. What was agreed before marriage might not be adhered to after marriage due to changes in circumstances and it can then become a point of clash.
I would have just one advise for people getting into a marriage… Just have an open mind for your partner, respect them always, show some love and a lot of care❤️ Genuine Love and Care can only lead to everlasting happy marriages not formulas and rules!
From a Happily Married Person 😊
spiritually matured couple no matter from which religion they belong to will never be stucked in these kind of situations
Never ever neglect red flags.
I think...many many times..ppl don't exactly know what they want... like they aren't lying... just clueless about what they want.. who they are..
I have found we ourselves don't often want to live with the consequences of the life that we have chosen!
I am 32 unmarried listening to this podcast right in the corner of my room 😳
Your doing great....just get prostitutes for your sexual needs and adop a child later for your old-age.......is that simple....men's have to grow from the mindset of family ,love...blah blah
Haha
Why are you in the corner? Have you been naughty?
Same haha 😂
there is a difference between being less emotional and showing less of your emotions
People like Deepika are like a ray of hope for many suffering men out there and I am glad she's stood by and supported so many of them, Kudos to her spirit, and I also appreciate all her open point of views and helping men have clear directives of do's and dont's one needs to keep in mind before committing to any relationships to avoid long term issues later on, Deepika , Lots of respect to you.
There is a formula. It starts with love, not reason.
During dating time, everyone will show their impressive part... your real picture comes only after marriage
Actually i want no marriage to be norm. We should be able to decide what we want in life... not by societal or family pressure...
No marriage= More promiscuous Society= degradation of values= annihilation of society
this is a serious talk
totally agree with her🙂
Never lie .. make that as a condition...then only trust will grow within a relationship
Give importance to open talk without hesitation...
Have patience and be a good listener..both of them should be like that
It takes time to know one's character
My experience i am the index like my mother, my husband is the index like his mother, it's not just about me and my mother the lineage trail counts. Most children behave like their mothers. But marriage is not just of two souls bur two families. One cannot ignore the families
Thanks for bringing up deepika mam' here, only unbiased lady and have so much of insights of the actual problem in society. I believe she should hold a place in politics and should get power to rectify the system and take country to the right direction.
Knowing how indian parents give very less time to get to know your partner in an arranged marriage, I think there should be a counselling type offline platforms where they could jot down questions for the people getting married and help with their compatibilities. But this too doesn't guarantee a right choice of a partner as people could just keep lying and act fake.
You cannot know your partner in an arranged marriage system. You just ask them these(the ones told in the video) types of questions and convince them to answer honestly to the best of your ability. After that, it all boils down to your commitment towards your partner & marriage. The real test comes when you struggle financially. Our marriage system is more like a leap of faith you take with your eyes closed and hope for the best. It has worked for thousands of years but the western woke feminism and dating culture is destroying it.
Yes . And thats why one shouldn't get married.
Indian people and their obsession with Marriage is BS. It needs to be gone.
whether it is love marriage or arranged marriage it does not matter, marriage will always be a duty and the respective partners must do their duties everyday to make it work and it will evolve over time, agar aap kuch din kisi bhi janwar ke saath bhi rahoge toh pyar ho jayega, with the evolution of social media and western culture thinking divorce rate will surely rise in india in a couple of decade.
The problem isn’t men thinking that all women are good. The problem is men still don’t consider women as human beings with complex natures. Women are still seen as objects to fulfill a man’s needs. Women only seem strong now because in the transaction called marriage women’s needs came drastically down (eg financial, social, emotional needs) whole mens needs are the same (home care, child production n care, physical). Obviously men are gaining more so they are suffering more. Reduce your needs n your suffering will come down.
Oh common woman to see men as objects as ATM duringnarriages ....stop pointing fingers at men....just because you are working doesnt make u progressive..there are things which men can do but woman cannot...respect laws of nature...nobody treated girls like objects that's y we have Goddess in name of Woman who bring prosperity...innocent guys are getting attacked with such mindsets stop it...
Shit, by ur way of expressing seems like u have suffered so much. I would say, explore more you may have different thoughts later🙂. (I didn't say, you are wrong !)n
Wow ! I was not able to put my views into words. You did that so well. I m so glad 😊
same with man they are still treated as objects they are alway asked to pay all the bills do all outside works deal with people
@@RadheeyKrishna A cold reply to a feminist 😂😂
Don't take dowry and get it signed on a bond paper from the bride's parents that dowry was not taken
Where's the bond paper that rr ape did not happen?
Just ask a girl if she knows to cook ...all your doubts will be answered 🤘
Its simply to have trust eachother be happy what u get. Have faith and love but its very rare to find 💗
Marry me 😂😂
NO शादी NO कोर्ट NO औरत
Hey Ranveer...thanks bruv. Your work and the kind of things you're bringing to us...its social service, brother. God will bless u in Infinite ways.
In my case I asked upfront if she is ok to live with my parents. That time they lie to get married. 5 years and even my son is not able to see my parents. Pathetic world.
Great 👍.... It's never a men and women it's only about right or wrong which could be done by anyone just fight back