The Truth About Cheating | Neil Strauss

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  • Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
  • Former No.1 Pick-Up Artist Neil Strauss explores the complex nature of fidelity and relationships.
    📺 Watch the full episode here -
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 105

  • @matgonzalez6272
    @matgonzalez6272 10 місяців тому +30

    I feel like the vulnerability that full commitment requires is too uncomfortable and challenging for most people. Uncommon love takes uncommon commitment.

  • @christineha69
    @christineha69 10 місяців тому +49

    Menopause doesn’t have to mean a stopping of sexual desire. That’s a VERY old trope. Love to see you interview Emily Nagoski, author of “Come as You Are”. I think men have a dire need to understand about female sexuality.

    • @heatherhawkins7566
      @heatherhawkins7566 10 місяців тому +7

      It certainly dampens desire for sex in some women. It's biology. Not "trope."

    • @matgonzalez6272
      @matgonzalez6272 10 місяців тому +6

      But dampens doesn’t mean full stop. I’d love to hear more from anyone that can expand on sexuality, especially in committed adult relationships.
      I feel like all the talk I hear of sexuality is about how everyone is less sexually active than in decades past.

    • @monicaabdala5261
      @monicaabdala5261 10 місяців тому +2

      Exactly my thinking...negotiate the relationship?? He is confussed and even unsured of what he is saying. Worst interview ever 😅 😂

    • @user-su1bi8xx9d
      @user-su1bi8xx9d 10 місяців тому +1

      I interpreted it as women can become hyper sexual when going through menopause/just before menopause. So I think he was saying it's the woman who needs more sex, not the man

    • @fabianoingles7496
      @fabianoingles7496 8 місяців тому

      Women Don't understand themselves.
      But men need to understand them.

  • @DS-vx3wf
    @DS-vx3wf 10 місяців тому +27

    Full interview disappeared! bring it back!

    • @Briiiii23
      @Briiiii23 10 місяців тому

      Right! I was just looking for it and wondering if I was crazy :/

    • @zenazena2273
      @zenazena2273 10 місяців тому +6

      Steven…please tell us why this full interview has been taken down…we know you are good for it!! ❤

    • @Z-Twinturbo
      @Z-Twinturbo 10 місяців тому +7

      @@zenazena2273 apprently Neil was being harassed & he asked for the video to be taken down as a result. People need to chill out these days...

    • @Mark-hr5gm
      @Mark-hr5gm 10 місяців тому

      ffs so bad!
      @@Z-Twinturbo

    • @arthurmurfitt7698
      @arthurmurfitt7698 9 місяців тому

      wow...@@Z-Twinturbo

  • @mmmjh1
    @mmmjh1 10 місяців тому +55

    I cheated on my first gf, I became a sex addict. After reading the game, I would sarge, pick up women, and manipulate them. Project a false image. It worked. Most women grow up idealising a fantasy through mainstream media. But what I realised was that eventually, I acknowledged I was a narcissist/avoidant. Due to childhood trauma, I was replaying my father's actions (He cheated on my mother). Apple doesn't fall far from the tree at times. At times, that apple is half eaten. I'm glad I've fully developed my self-awareness. I just need to work on my long-term relationship skills. I've never had a blueprint or a role model to guide me into a healthy relationship. I used women equivalently as a drug. Instead of seeing them as a whole human person with their own feelings. I regret some choices in my mid 20s.

    • @kimonaveez
      @kimonaveez 10 місяців тому +6

      How did you treat your mom growing up? What’s your outlook on her as a woman? They say you can tell a lot about man how he treats his mom. I’m sorry to hear your father did that and you suffered the consequences. You are admitting there’s a problem and that’s the first step to overcome any personal issue. I believe you can find and have love that you deserve.

    • @mmmjh1
      @mmmjh1 10 місяців тому +8

      @kimonaveez (only child) There is still a lot of untangling to do. Unfortunately, when you're dealt a difficult hand of being raised by a single immigrant mother, a neglectful father. Both with their own baggage and stunted emotionally, you just sit back and see these 2 people who brought you into this world as fragile individuals. Unfortunately, I had to play certain roles I shouldn't have had to. Some people call this Parentification. Untangling everything you have ever learnt as a child is the first step to proceeding to live as a being. My mother has done the best she could.

    • @heatherhawkins7566
      @heatherhawkins7566 10 місяців тому +9

      That's some powerful insight into your own behavior patterns. Most narcissists don't have the ability to change so I'm glad you made it out or at least are actively working on yourself.

    • @kimonaveez
      @kimonaveez 10 місяців тому +4

      @@mmmjh1 I can relate although my parents are American and together, they don’t love each other and had kids without planning. No stability but did the best they could as well. They had so much regret of their own life and decisions they made or didn’t make and got taken out on us because they had “kids.”
      I’ve watched arguments and disagreements my whole life. What messed me up is that the roles are reversed in my household. My dad was physically injured at work and never went back and my mother’s always worked and my dad does the housework.
      It’s given me a complex as a woman. I am married, but I still find it difficult to depend on anyone but myself, and to share my personal space or trust a man to do his part as a “man.” I don’t believe in double standards and feel we all should hold our weight.
      I was abused as a kid as well by a family member and I am still the most emotional and empathic person I know amongst all the suppression of anger and confusion. I’m not angry with anyone. I’m more mad at myself then anything ya know.
      I was very promiscuous when I was a teenager and I regret it till this day just giving my body away. My husband is Muslim and I’m sure you know in their culture you save it for marriage and reserve yourself.
      We are imperfectly perfect beings . Forgive yourself, it’s not your fault and just keep trying to be a better person every day of your life. Love will come. The right person will understand you and accept you for you 💜

    • @mmmjh1
      @mmmjh1 10 місяців тому +9

      @kimonaveez I, too, was sexually abused at a very young age. (I had to shake off my hypersexuality and used porn as a fix in my teens) My last relationship was just over 2 years with a recent divorced Muslim woman (She cheated on her husband). It was hot and cold. She pushed and pulled the whole relationship. It ended due to the fact that she fell pregnant and had an ectopic pregnancy. She ended our relationship soon after. I wasn't capable of dealing with the on and off. I was verbally abusive, not proud of that. She hid the pregnancy from her family and friends. We all have trauma residue. I think We attract people with the same wiring at times. Neglect and abuse. The foundation of fear, guilt, and shame.

  • @jesssayin5986
    @jesssayin5986 10 місяців тому +99

    Regardless of biology, what makes us uniquely human is consciousness and discernment. Both can and should be used to remain faithful, any argument used to justify a poor choice is just an excuse.

    • @Huda-bu
      @Huda-bu 10 місяців тому +1

      Thank you

    • @kirstenshindler7767
      @kirstenshindler7767 10 місяців тому +4

      And it’s hurting society, our children and people even wanting to get married anymore.. why should anyone get married? Look at the children in our country.. I see what my cheating husbands relationship did to his children. If you know you are selfish, entitled, arrogant…then don’t have kids! Or get married.. then go happily out and have all the hedonistic sex you want..

    • @TheOutsider840
      @TheOutsider840 9 місяців тому

      I mean there's a clear argument that being unfaithful is better in propagating genes, so anyone with the aim of creating lots of children is doing a rational action by their own consciousness and discernment. That's not an excuse as such.

    • @dillonmason4503
      @dillonmason4503 8 місяців тому

      commitment is a fabrication that society created. It's good for women so they feel secure (i've heard they loose some attraction when they get it tho) and I do advocate for monogamy in the longterm but. Idk.

    • @the-naked-sailor
      @the-naked-sailor 5 місяців тому +1

      Seriously? "Regardless of biology..... uniquely human..."? I'm pretty sure that's a contradiction. It is in fact that being human is biological.
      And what the hell does "uniquely human" mean if not humans' being distinctly different from other animal life?

  • @tyronekleiner8798
    @tyronekleiner8798 10 місяців тому +5

    Why can't we find the full podcast?

  • @FranFerioli
    @FranFerioli 2 місяці тому +1

    I'm glad there is more open discussion of lifestyles alternative to monogamy.

  • @itsrtvbaby
    @itsrtvbaby 10 місяців тому +20

    I was aleays capable of staying with one woman. Ive just never found one that was capable of doing the same unfortunately 😢

    • @Ikaros23
      @Ikaros23 7 місяців тому

      learn about " red flags" and narcissism. And also educate yourself on codependency. The pices will fall in place for you, but you need to see the ENTIRE picture

  • @ivyking4149
    @ivyking4149 4 місяці тому +1

    Cheating works both ways,
    Besides breaking the bond of trust it is detremental to your selfworth too.

  • @sissi5598
    @sissi5598 10 місяців тому +9

    Please put a link to the full video.

  • @TPrasad-xh2oq
    @TPrasad-xh2oq 10 місяців тому +8

    Can we get the full video

    • @drtydsh
      @drtydsh 10 місяців тому

      It's on the channel

    • @omotayosatuyi252
      @omotayosatuyi252 10 місяців тому +2

      @@drtydshit's not he removed the full podcast

    • @spiritualqueen2745
      @spiritualqueen2745 10 місяців тому

      I was looking for it too. I wonder why it got removed. @@omotayosatuyi252

  • @jackics6540
    @jackics6540 10 місяців тому +2

    Did you remove the whole episode, wtf?....

  • @jlindell6532
    @jlindell6532 15 днів тому

    i have read the game book is an interesting read . but most naturals would probably disagree with most of his tactics/moves used in the book

  • @kaytypicalnotsokaytypical6145
    @kaytypicalnotsokaytypical6145 10 місяців тому +1

    I can love as many people as I would like and you choose who you want.

  • @leelee-nr5my
    @leelee-nr5my 3 місяці тому

    I laugh at the comment about the guy whose sex life stopped when his wife hit menopause. How that gave the husband freedom to renegotiate his monogamy. Perhaps if they made menopause treatments more available to women and education about menopause more widely available then their wives would still want sex. Of course if that changed it would make it much harder for men to have a reason to get that permission from their wives to cheat.

  • @Poopf-fu6fm
    @Poopf-fu6fm 4 місяці тому

    Gentlewoman

  • @floris0626
    @floris0626 10 місяців тому +8

    Relationship won’t last without hard conversations. Are we there to find faults in each other or are we here to evolve together? If polyamory is offered but you can’t stop cheating, it’s more about ego boost, weak mindedness and control than love, Sometimes people are not together for the same reasons.. there are countless possibilities to make something work, it’s a matter of thinking outside the box and staying true to yourself at the same time - people need to stop thinking so black and white

  • @justnews9738
    @justnews9738 10 місяців тому +21

    If you want your life to be a soap opera then cheat. If you want your life to have a happy ending then monogamy.

  • @tishtoshtash
    @tishtoshtash 10 місяців тому +6

    Not sure this guy was able to articulate his ideas/beliefs well enough. Was kind of hard to listen to and lost me due to the hesitations in what he was saying.

    • @the-naked-sailor
      @the-naked-sailor 5 місяців тому +1

      I bet you didn't know he was once considered the best pickup artist in the world.
      The wrote the book _the game_ a fascinating read.

    • @AlexBoulos
      @AlexBoulos Місяць тому

      I agree. For someone who wrote books about dating, love and relationships it’s kind of odd to hear the way he’s articulating himself as a person. There is an obvious internal conflict going on. Not judging him or anything I actually believe he is a genius behind whatever’s holding him back from authenticity.

  • @cylai331
    @cylai331 9 місяців тому +4

    Why is the full episode removed? 😮😢

  • @AntiAlgorithim
    @AntiAlgorithim 10 місяців тому +4

    💜Thank you Neil and Steven for having this discussion. This is so true. 💜Blessings 💜

  • @Ricktaka1986
    @Ricktaka1986 4 місяці тому +2

    Anyone can be happy with cheating until they’re cheated on. I’ve seen it a million times before

  • @gbln_38
    @gbln_38 10 місяців тому +20

    "Ethical non-monogamy" = swinging lol

    • @SamanthasUniverse
      @SamanthasUniverse 10 місяців тому

      Or polyamory.

    • @the-naked-sailor
      @the-naked-sailor 5 місяців тому

      @sama, actually polygamy. Poly, Greek meaning many. Gamy Greek meaning sex.

  • @jaymann5180
    @jaymann5180 10 місяців тому +2

    Hey, what happened to the video? When I click on the full video, I see it says Video unavailable
    This video has been removed by the uploader.

  • @jeremypitonfr
    @jeremypitonfr 9 днів тому

    If God is not the center of your life, this union will fail eventually.
    Because of the heart posture.

  • @VasacceSky
    @VasacceSky 5 місяців тому +1

    “Being discredited is the behavior that turns off women the most” -Neil Strauss

  • @thibaultoffroad
    @thibaultoffroad 8 місяців тому +1

    Why the full version is offline?

  • @RedRumble14
    @RedRumble14 10 місяців тому +1

    Guys who has the full video? Can u give a link?

  • @SamanthasUniverse
    @SamanthasUniverse 10 місяців тому +1

    No.

  • @tinamaps1605
    @tinamaps1605 10 місяців тому +1

    📍🇿🇦❤😊

  • @TheMrKjw
    @TheMrKjw 10 місяців тому

    The upbringing part of the full interview was so impactful for me, and now it's gone... gutted

  • @Poopf-fu6fm
    @Poopf-fu6fm 4 місяці тому

    Im a gentleman ❤ waiting for his woman ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @innocentrage1
    @innocentrage1 4 місяці тому

    Woah Neil is still around!

  • @SummerJ200
    @SummerJ200 10 місяців тому

    It all sounds so complicated lol

  • @rd24life
    @rd24life 10 місяців тому

    What is he babbling on about?

    • @the-naked-sailor
      @the-naked-sailor 5 місяців тому

      That everyone cheats, that it's innate, and through conditioning, we fight against our natural biology?

  • @mhoward181
    @mhoward181 10 місяців тому +3

    Iv found out at age 44 I have ADHD and it explains why I always cheated.

    • @mrquick6775
      @mrquick6775 10 місяців тому +13

      Yep, or you just like to cheat! Sometimes it’s just that you enjoy it! 😃🤷‍♂️

    • @Benny71453
      @Benny71453 10 місяців тому +15

      hate when people use ADHD to justify their poor choices. know plenty of people that have ADHD and have no issues with being faithful to their partner.

    • @Shenben2021
      @Shenben2021 10 місяців тому +13

      I have ADHD and only found out last year. I’m 38 and have been with my husband for 15 years. I’ve never cheated once. Not in this relationship and not in any other one I had prior. Please don’t blame your moral choices on your ADHD diagnosis and throw a blanket on all of us who suffer with the same ailments.

    • @mhoward181
      @mhoward181 10 місяців тому

      @@Benny71453 different people. Different types of the condition. Bet there people with adhd that can make friends and have a social life. On the other hand I’m great at managing money and others cannot.

    • @mhoward181
      @mhoward181 10 місяців тому +2

      @@Shenben2021 everyone is different and lives different lives. Growing up I had inattentive adhd. For me it was the fact I never had any friends. No social life. Adhd brings intense emotions and for me I needed that connection with another person. I’m Not proud of what I did but it now makes sense. Not at my age you start to mature and start to realise what’s more important. I havnt cheated for years. Don’t worry if I cud go back so i was never born I would.

  • @the-naked-sailor
    @the-naked-sailor 5 місяців тому +2

    Wow! Who would've thought one of the world's greatest pick-up artist would be interviewed by _the diary of a ceo_