The aftermath of the abuse to me is like watching your house burn to the ground ( the house is your soul, your entire being). You look at what is left devastated wondering how in the world are you going to rebuild it from scratch. But tell yourself I am a Phoenix I will rise from the ashes and be born again stronger and wiser. You will feel grateful for the truth in time. You are no longer the brainwashed zombie wandering aimlessly like most people in society. Your healing is your act of bravery and defiance to the abuse. You are telling the world and your abuser you can bend me, but I will not break.
I love leaving about your self help for after narc abuse, it's been over 3 years since no/low contact and still feeling sad:( thank you, blessings one love ♡♡♡
Actually, all along we have felt and known on a deep level that things were absolutely not right with the person. We tried, covered it, hurried it, all the while, the wound was getting deeper as we denied our pain. Now, that it has come to an abrupt halt as in the discard, your wound is permitting you to hurt and ultimately heal. We don't deal with the signs or pain while were in it. Now, the pain must be addressed. That is why it hurts worse than all the very real pain that u felt during your interaction with the completely sick narcissist. Believe in yourself, as u did not all the while that you were lovebombed, idealized, manipulated, lied to, cheated, and discarded. Own your own closure, u knew all along he was sick. Know for certain he is sick. ZERO CONTACT, ZERO CLOSURE FROM HIM. GET UR OWN CLOSURE. YOU ALREADY KNOW, NEED NO MORE FROM HIM. NO LIES, ONLY TRUTH. THE TRUTH IS WHAT YOUVE ALREADY DEALT WITH
So very true Cecelia. I look back now and I see all the red flags that I ignored to keep the delusion going that everything was ok when I knew it was not. You are right that the discard forces you to address the things we knew in our hearts to be true. These people are sick and their sickness makes us unwell. I developed two auto-immune diseases in the years that I tried to keep the whole thing together. The stress of dissonance is deadly. Keeping a list of all the bad things they did and said to you helps so much. Journaling also helped me see my own progress. There is something about putting it all in writing that helps you see it all more clearly. Now that I am no longer his zombie, his mirror and cheerleader I have time to focus on myself, my children and grandchildren. Sure I get sad sometimes when a good memory floods back and I start to ask why this person is who he is and does such cruel things but many years now after the discard I can look back without thinking that I was not enough. I know my love was real and he was just a mirage. I appreciate this channel so much. Your calm reassuring voice and practical advise helped me through the roughest of times. Anyone just now going through this please know that there is nothing wrong with you. You are a normal person faced with abnormal behavior.
9 months and still having days of despair and misery but getting stronger little by little ... Thank you Carol for asking this question and thank you soulgps for making video ..... Odd because today was a really bad day but glad I watched this video- Stay strong Carol your not on your own my friend! !
Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for your videos and to all the people in this youtube community, helping and sharing the knowledge. The feeling of hopelessness we feel when we have narcs in our lives is overwhelming. We feel we are not worthy and crazy for feeling this way, but our feeling are genuine and correct. We just need this knowledge to take us forward, brush the narc aside and follow our dreams. Keep taking the red pill my good people friends, awoid the blue one. :) Love you all
It took approx. 4 months to me to start feeling better and letting go. Then I found out topic about Twin Flames and *ooooops!* There I was again. Deeply hooked and convinced that my x narcopath is my match made in heaven. :D All the signs were there. It took another 4 months more when I was diving deep in that theory.. watched dozens (or more, like 200-300) T.F. videos and tarot readings until I bumped to video called "Twin Flame or Narcissistic love bomber?". That's when I found out that there is such things as NPD's, and that they have certain relationship cycles. Which all matched to my case. Then I watched both T.F. and NPD stuff for a while until I was ready to let go even more thoroughly. My narc discarded me couple weeks before my birthday in august 10 last year so it's soon whole year. I've not contacted her at all since feb.14 when I wished her happy valentine's day. Before that I could keep three months without trying to contact her.. but before that one I had really difficult time with trying not to write something in fb etc. every few weeks or so. I was totally addicted to her. :( Felt like my soul was reaped out of me after separation / discard phase. Nothing has ever felt that bad, not even deaths of relatives, not being physically abused /beated, or bullied in schools.. nothing came even close. I regret wasting my time in Twin Flame stuff, because it kept me hoping and wishing months more after I was already starting to get over. And what I have heard, some ppl. have wasted *years* waiting their "runner" coming back, no matter what they have done to them.
Oh god my story exactly. Still haven't let go completely that it's not a twin flame relationship even though the cycles of narcissism and Twin flames are the same 😵
Dr3Tri, I have been widowed twice. Then I met a narc during my most vulnerable time. I've tried to leave my current relationship a half dozen times and each time, it hurt worse than losing someone who died, like you said. This is my final attempt to break free. It has only been 28 agonizing days so far.
The truth is like ripping off a band aid. Yeah is hurts but... Git 'er done! The worst pain is the slow torture of indecision, confusion, & false hope from these Narcs. We deserve better! ❤️🙏
THIS..... out of all of your videos that I have seen thus far.... has helped me soooo much. I am sooo sorry for your pain and experience. Thank you for using it for healing others.
Thank you this has been such a comfort - it is now a year - a terrible year - you have validated all the shock, fear and utter rejection I have experienced...Life is improving - it does get better, but we have to resarch this awful phenomenon - had never heard of this problem before and am incredibly amazed that this is so prevalent......be positive and listen to the experts.....sent with hope and love xxxx you will heal...x
Soul GPS: the place I find myself when the pain of rumination is too extreme. This channel is medicinal. God Bless you & thank you so so much for these incredible, amazing videos.
Apparently the Narcassist also has a memory problem, inserted details and forgetfullness, or they would remember how you kept getting back up after they attacked you and inflicted moral wounds, yet showed your phenomenal strength and got up. This should give them nightmares & flash backs.The scape goat = the strongest in the family dynamics, able to survive in it's noxious atmosphere, able to exist in a hostil environment. The walking wounded unlike the narcassist who every wound proves fatal. Scape goats are hero's, they survive and walk away from fatal train wrecks, deadly crashes, stabbing and all mortal wounds. Scape goats are the stuff of nightmares, they are the ones who get up after you kick them down a flight stairs, shot them, throw them out the window, run over them, slash & stab them, burn them, drown them etc. Like the monster in movies you can't kill, but the scapegoat always gets up and comes back not to maliciously hurt their narcassist, but for a hug, a embrace and your love. The narc should be afraid because we just keep getting back up.
Soul gps is the hope of so many. I and my narc are seventy years old ,I let him hoover me five times ,it was so extreme for me,I was forced to leave and discover I was programed by my narc mother. My eyes are opened I believe d it was me my whole life ,nine months no contact , started new life in different state. As a retired social worker I should have seen what he is He rotates his collection of former victims. I didn't know such cruel people exsited. Thanks new revolations from childhood and past men pop into my mind , now I know I was in deniel about how sick they were.
Thanks for your video. I just ended my 2 year relationship with a NPD. It's been less than 24 hours so I definitely needed to hear this video today. You're a very intelligent woman and good looking too :) Thanks for providing a wealth of information. :)
I have a note about 18:00 where Soul GPS is talking about making a bulletpoint list, basically writing down everything that I began to realize after the break up. I keep a notepad in my iPhone that lists A) Projections B) Hooks C) Hoovering D) Redflags I missed E) Mirroring tactics F) Gaslighting G) Forcing my hand H) Couching I) Triangulation J) Physical effects of the abuse on me K) The weapons I gave to him when I was unaware/my codependence L) Things that I felt off about/my real values M) Positive realizations to keep me moving forward When I'm out eating and I remember something, I try not to let it get me angry or down. I just add it to the list and categorize it and everything usually falls into these categories. The title of the note is "When I am feeling weak" and the subtitle reads: "I'm neither disillusioned nor confused about where I've been, what I've done, nor where I am going". It really helps on the hard days. PS: Another list I have is "Positive thoughts to have" which I read immediately after I read the long list of bullshit memories. One of the things I have on that list is: "This is the beginning of a whole new life."
So happy I found your videos. I was married to a covert narcissist for 4 years together for 6. I packed a bag and left for good to another state after another alcoholic and self destructive binge from the narc. I was gone for 2 years and then aloud the narc back in. I moved back to my home state and started talking to him again, only for him to have the final discard. I’ve completely lost the person I was before him. I’m angry at myself. friends and family just think I’m crazy and don’t understand why I’m still hurting after being divorced for 2 years. I know it all stems from childhood trauma. I feel scared for the future and I am so sick of hurting. I use to be so strong, brave and independent. Working on healing now. I have days where I can’t stop crying.
Oh, Sweetheart, I know how hard this is. Have you read the books by Alice Miller and John Bradshaw? They are of immense help when excavating your childhood past. All the best to you!
I was reminiscing and thinking about all the special moments we shared, making excuses for him and then I remembered everything we shared were all lies and then I snapped out of it, thank you so much for this video confirms everything I was experiencing
This video reminds me of my long lost memory of this song "Jar Of Hearts" from Christina perri: Christina Perri Lyrics "Jar Of Hearts" I know I can't take one more step towards you 'Cause all that's waiting is regret Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore You lost the love I loved the most I learned to live half alive And now you want me one more time And who do you think you are? Runnin' 'round leaving scars Collecting your jar of hearts And tearing love apart You're gonna catch a cold From the ice inside your soul So don't come back for me Who do you think you are? I hear you're asking all around If I am anywhere to be found But I have grown too strong To ever fall back in your arms And I've learned to live half alive And now you want me one more time And who do you think you are? Runnin' 'round leaving scars Collecting your jar of hearts And tearing love apart You're gonna catch a cold From the ice inside your soul So don't come back for me Who do you think you are? And it took so long just to feel alright Remember how to put back the light in my eyes I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed 'Cause you broke all your promises And now you're back You don't get to get me back And who do you think you are? Runnin' 'round leaving scars Collecting your jar of hearts And tearing love apart You're gonna catch a cold From the ice inside your soul So don't come back for me Don't come back at all And who do you think you are? Runnin' 'round leaving scars Collecting your jar of hearts Tearing love apart You're gonna catch a cold From the ice inside your soul Don't come back for me Don't come back at all Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are?
I actually feel better after watching this video just now 😊 I was having a kinda tough day and struggling to withstand hoovering and feeling a little lonely etc..and I decided to watch this video (I have watched your channel before but I hadn't watched one of your videos in a little while..) anyways I'm so glad I did! You really seem to understand what this experience of narcissistic abuse Is like..I'm so glad you do what you do! Your videos are so empowering 💜💜💜 thanks! 💟💟💟
I made that bullet list of all the bad things the narc did. Off the top of my head I listed 30 bullets. I went NO CONTACT over a year ago, and when I made that list just now, I got upset all over again. In the past 6 months I learned a lot about narcissism, so I can label most of these abuses now, but back then I had no idea.
I made a list of the red flags that occurred to me over 2 years and came up with 180, 50 of which were deal breakers. No contact 10 weeks and counting. I did see her in a shopping centre a few days ago and got triggered big time with anger. I'm back on track and OK now though the suffering has not disappeared yet.
This gave me a lot of hope. I’ve been crumbling at the thought that my brain is forever changed now, after all the abuse, and I won’t ever get out of the hold he has on my entire being. I find myself thinking sometimes that I’m just doomed and I might as well go back because there’s no way I could change the way my brain learned to work and survive through this. And with no one to talk to in my real life who truly understands or even wants to listen, it becomes harder and harder the more I fall into those thoughts/moments. But your videos are like a sanctuary to me. I know I can come here and feel safe and deeply understood. So truly, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and creating this community. It’s saving my life.
Eva, I am seeing this after seeing 4 or 5 of your more recent videos. I very much see in you the pain of early recovery and I’m so glad to see you now, so much stronger, calmer and in touch with your mind and body. Keep doing the films, you, Meredith Miller, Richard Grannon, Sam Vaknin, Ross Rosenberg, Les Carter, Tara Palmatier to mention a few are a great asset to all of us recovering from CPTSD. Thank you
what you shared ?? in one statement changed my whole life...THIS !! sentence: "even the good times were to HOOK you in" i had intuitvely felt it was all manipulation !! but WHO would be soooooo calloused.calculated.cruel ?? then it clicked !! NO wonder the grief is soooo fucking difficult to process from a NARCabuseEX...bcuz the abuse was PAINFULL & so is the realization the good was FAKED. & yet the TRUTH of knowing this in my gut & HEARING YOU MENTION it ?? has set me free in a whole new way today !! thankYOU for your sharing. i too trust we are forming an army of bullshit detectors & healthy boundary enforcers
SO TRUE SO TRUE SO TRUE - Thank you for speaking up! xx you are so right!!! i was in a 3rd party relationship and didn't know - he was a narc and a psychopath - he was married, separated lived with his mother and had a mistress who split the marriage and then meets me the trans Unicorn temptation . Over 6 months he lied and created a web of deceptive sob story about his awful life - made me feel sorry for him. i caught him cheating 3 ways went through his ipone when he was drunk and saw all the dates/messages with other women - bullshit lies i cannot imagine how fuck'd up he his... despite how damaged he was, he managed to make me feel and open my heart ... i fell in love with him.. now i am grateful for the lesson i learnt from this... it's ironic how light can emerge from a level of extreme darkness
@Soul GPS: I can't tell you how grateful I am for your videos. This is such a long healing process. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your online support! Peace & love to everyone here!
I really connect with your videos. Narcissistic behaviors are becoming very prevalent in today's society top down, and more awareness is needed to address the issue. Living in truth sets us free, and I really appreciate your level of empathy and insights. Spreading the word!
Thanks Ewa, you literally are saving my brain and my self esteem with your videos. It's really, really, painful to know that my own parents are narcissists. I never would have imagined as a child what was expecting me on the road ahead with my family.
You are simply amazing!!! Your words, your detail, your sincerity and every single thing about you and what you are doing to help others has captured my heart. Thank you!!
22:47 sooooo validating thank you so much. i can feel stabbing pains up my back and sides and in my stomach when i think of him. i don't get that from other people i know....
I was in a abusive relationship and I couldn't pick up myself to be able to leave the person. I always felt like something isn't right and maybe he really doesn't love me. But the fear of the pain from the past relationships kept me in that relationship. I couldn't believe that I could live without his presence in my daily life. It was painful to be with him as he gaslighted me, hurted me and gave me a million silent treatment. But because you Ava, I could get out of the relationship, her videos aided me and also gave me the strength and courage to begin life again. You are my LIGHT. I thank you a million or maybe saying thank you isn't enough for such a great person, learning from her life and helping people all around. You are the reason I m still in life....love you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💕❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️ even these hearts aren't enough
You are a wonderful woman and your story and journey is truly inspirational. God Bless you. You are really explaining the steps to true healing from this!
Such a beautiful woman - it is a tragedy to see you so unnecessarily hurt, I myself have grown up in a psychopathic world with generations of pain and actual murders + several misfeasant deaths. You strongly resemble one of my daughters (30) who I love and value most highly... I only hope you value and respect yourself likewise AND ABOVE ALL TREAT YOURSELF AND YOUR ISSUE KINDLY!!
Thank you so very much for your great and extremely supportive videos. I lived in severe narc abuse since the day I was born, and also every relationship and marriage... Knowledge is power.
I could write pages and pages of the evil vicious thing's they said, I told them I don't hold grudges they can if they choose. I like how you call it purging because that's exactly what the process feels like all the poison and withdrawal a year later im still healing
I’m trying to come to terms how I put up with the mental and physical abuse for 40 years. I’m 60 years old now and trying to forgive myself and move forward. I have to now stop beating myself up with the why and should of left years ago. I feel like I have wasted my whole life 😥
God bless you. This is so timely and gives me the validation the mental health complex would not that I need to go through this exact process instead of following the school that this process is actually pathological and feelings must be medicated to achieve behavioral stability and makes me feel very supported and valued as I face the truth (how, who, what, when, where and why) and face the feelings I have just discovered the past three days and my small support network has not had the availability in that time to provide the presence, compassion and validation to help me through this intense time. Thank you.
I have flashbacks about my ex boss (narc). I do not miss her at all. My flashbacks are all negative and I go into rage spirals. I want to fight her because I didn't irl. I did the grey rock method until I could get out. Two and a half months free and trying to get my joy back.
i make a journey back to the places were we had been. Yesterday i started and it wasn´t so bad i thought!!! Today another trip, i will see what happens. Thank u to be strong!!!
Not seen my narc since jan 2017. Few days ago he was behind me driving. Stirred up some odds feelings & made me nervous. Of course no wave to him - ignored him he eventually turned off thank god. You said it best here if there were really that good....Then why all the pain & ect...... Great Video -
I have such a hard time with denial. I even want to deny that he fits all the requirements to be a narc. there are different levels of narc's, right? see even that question is denial
It would appear that there are different levels...I still have to try and justify why he did it as he did not fit the standard profile (but who really does) He was lovely and I loved him so much and probably always will...but the "off" times were so hurtful and scary when he cut me dead -ignored me for days for who knows what!.........and his horrible, humiliating discard of me....... that said it all.......lest we forget........never, forget how bad they could make us feel.......and be strong.. it has now been over a year.......and I still hurt - but not as much as I did........xx
I still have flashbacks... Makes me sick knowing that I have left that piece of s**t to touch me. After 3 years, I still feel miserable and makes me to 🤮 I feel bad about myself.
But how long does it take? It's been over a year and I still dream about him and cry when I find something that he bought me, even if it was with my money! I even keep my wedding dress hanging up to remind me of how he married her one week before we were supposed to remarry. He even married her on the same spot that we were supposed to remarry. I thought it would help to remind me of what a JERK he was! But I still keep crying and then beat myself up for being a jerk, in a different way. Thanks for your patience with me.
Hi Carol, I'm in the process of divorce after 15 years of marriage. I was discarded by my husband numerous times in my marriage and it wasn't until I was made aware of NARC abuse that things started to become clear to me. My soon to be ex is a Borderline/NARC and one of the very first things I learned was to rid myself of everything he bought me, or triggers in my home that reminded me of him. Of course it may be difficult to get rid of everything especially if finances are limited. I went as far as sending items back to him and used his mistresses address as the return address so he couldn't return them back to me. I made sure that he didn't know where I was living. I am suffering greatly like so many others that have been victims. But the truth is that we are fighters and survivors, I continue to remind myself that I am worth more than the abuse he has dished out to me. God Bless you and take care of yourself first.
Greeting from Croatia as well! :) Thank you for your videos, they're helping me so much on my path of healing. If you'll be in Zagreb anytime soon, I'll be thrilled to meet you in person! :)
There is so much pain In my body headache muscle pain I'm totally feeling exhausted even though I have left her and it's been only a week. I use to have smoke weed to cope up this mental pressure now I'm not smoking anymore is that why I'm feeling ache in body plz make a video on this physical changes due to narcissist abuse. Your videos are so much helping I could not tell you are doing great job soul GPS.
Breathe, breathing is extremly important, its almost like a key for succesfull psychic spiritual breakthrough. Breathe deeply. Because of my shallow breathing too often i became too sensitive, but also im greateful for this now, beacuse i learned so much out of it. I would highly recommend to breathe deeply some fresh forest air and having a nice walk. Works for me everytime, plus some fruits on the way ! :D Have a good onne, love listening to your videos, toughts, words, it inspires me, and i know exactly what are you talkingn about because im able to understand better now the narcassism and why im better off alone :) Keep on making awesome videos, im supporting you. Its my birthday! Just wanted to share my thoughts, sorry for some type mistakes. Follow your body heart and mind, feeliings, feelings are the truth. Enjoy hot summer days ~ Slovenia ~ Namaste
Shirley - I have been looking for someone who has spent decades in this web and here you are. I have been married for 22 years and am still in the marriage. I always thought If I ever found the strength to get out of this mess, I couldn't imaging ever looking back and missing him in any way, shape or form. Whatever good there was in the beginning has long been overtaken by the bad. I envy you and the fact that you are now free. But, what do I know? You are saying that you are still in a mental nightmare. That almost scares me since it the mental nightmare that I can only dream of escaping. I still envy you though! If we have to still be living in a mental nightmare, By the grace of God girl, YOU ARE FREE! And I am so happy for you that I have tears in my eyes!!! LET IT ALL GO!!! JUST DO IT!!!!If that is you in the avatar, girl you are beautiful!!! FUCK HIM!!!!
Shirley- Thank you so much for sharing with me! I wish I could actually speak to you over the phone or even privately thru email. I am a mess girl! LOL!Through your pain tho, I can still feel the wisdom that you speak. Again, I thank you! I finally broke down and shared my struggle with my daughter, which was and will continue to be very difficult, for I just cant bring myself right now to come out with it all. It's only been 2 days but, she has been wonderful and so loving to me. Not angry at me at all! I am so blessed!!!I was so ashamed to start fessing up to the lie that I have been living, the lie that I also drug her through. Come to find out, there was so much that she already knew, which was still very awkward because I thought that I was a master in hiding this shit. Making excuses, trying to keep the peace, trying to make like all is OK when in reality, nothing could have been further from the truth. My daughters love and understanding has giving me an example of how I should have been loved all along. Maybe one day I will be SURROUNDED by that kind of love. I can only hope! I am so glad to hear that you are stronger than ever. I will keep you in my prayers and cheer you on from afar!
After 30 years of marriage to a Narc (from 17 to 47 years old) I also find myself in dispare. I am happy I left but I find myself missing the good times and crying a lot. It comes in “waves”. It affects my health in so many ways I find myself in pain all the time (physical and mental). People say “get over it” or “move on” and I feel I am stuck. So thanks for your comment and know you’re not alone.
Of all the ways we have found to hurt ourselves, the worse has been through love. We are always suffering because of someone who doesn't love us, or someone who has left us, or someone who won't leave us. If we are alone, it is because no one wants us... Paulo Coelho, Warrior of the Light
Pani Ewo, nie wiem na ile Pani to zauważyła, ale z mojego doświadczenia jedną z cech głównych narcyza(stki) jest kalizm pospolity, czyli "jak Kalemu ukraść krowę, to bardzo źle, ale jak Kali ukraść krowę, to bardzo dobrze". Innymi słowy hipokryzja, albo podwójne standardy. Może warto by było zrobić oddzielny materiał na ten temat? Pozdrawiam i trzymam kciuki,
HASTINGS UK I dumped my Covert a year ago after years of denying what he really was and pretending to myself that I could handle him, humour him and that way stay in the relationship because I loved him and needed him so much. He was the most important person in my life, and I wanted to be with him for life. Part of me cannot believe that it was ME who ended it. But he had set me up in yet another tug-of-war, the fifth in 6 years. His idea of "excitement" is to keep starting long term full-on relationships with other women, then tell each about the other, sit back and smirk as the fireworks flew and the women sobbed and begged him to give up the other. He would fold his arms and refuse to give up the other. And he always blamed the women, both of them, for trying to control and possess him, for ensnaring and entrapping him. It was always ALWAYS the fault of the women. He sat there and resolutely refused to accept that he had acted badly towards anyone. He kept the women's identities a secret from each other, but gave each one all the gory details of the "amazing sex" he had with the other woman. This man is a monster. And he is STILL doing it.
I have been married to a narc for 22 years. I am still married to him. My mom is a narc as well and I have had to put up with her BS for 49 years. She is still alive. I am numb inside and have been my whole life. But, everything is now coming to a head and It feels l like everything in my life is out of my control. I am actually mean and bitter now and all I want is be the person I use to be before I die. My patients are shot and due to a lifetime of this abuse, I can't seem to move on. Like I am frozen in fear. I know better than to live like this and deep down inside, I know I deserve better than what I have allowed. There is no excuse at this point and I am ashamed of what I have allowed to happen to me. As a matter of fact, I cannot seem to forgive myself for all of the time I have wasted pissing around with these low life people. My beautiful daughter was subjected to it as well and I cant seem to forgive myself for allowing it. That's my biggest problem I think. I cant believe that I allowed this and I can't take it back. I was sexually abused for most of my childhood and thus, I have always chosen the wrong men to love. None of them have ever really loved me except for 1 and I let him go 30 years ago. I keep telling myself that I might as well stay where I am at because, I am afraid that I will eventually just pick up with another ass hole. This is a pattern for me. I know the grass will not be greener for me. Like I said, I am frozen in fear.Please !!! Someone please help me because, I don't have anyone that understands or cares enough to understand. I only have 1 friend because my husband wouldn't allow me to socialize. I don't mean to blame my husband because I know it was out of my own stupidity that this happened me, but now, I suffer from horrible social anxiety. I have changed. I am no longer the loving beautiful person I use to be. I hate myself now. I still try to project the love that is in my heart but, I think the bitterness has now overwhelmed me and I can no longer hide it behind a smile or a kind gesture. I don't think love or happiness was ever meant for me and I cannot seem to accept this either. For years, I have thought that there was still something left for me but now, I am not sure. All I want is for all of the ugliness to go away. All I want is to have someone to play with and have fun with before I die. I am so tired of being alone and trapped but at the same time, I am so tired and worn out emotionally, all I can do is stare and wonder. I don't know what to do anymore. Thank you for listening!
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I understand the numbness and out of control hurricane scenario. All this will pass after you stop berating yourself. Clearly, there is a lot of bitterness, anger and emotion that's been lodged deep inside you. All of this needs to come out. That's foundational. You need to create a space of safety for yourself and surround yourself with compassion and love generated by You. Now is not the time to date or look for new friends. They will come. In time. This is healing time. The only way to forgive is when there is a genuine sense of wrongdoing on the side of the person who did wrong. You openly admit to making wrong choices. This is enough. It is time you let it go and forgive yourself so that the lessons can become the gems in your crown as you work towards reclaiming your true sovereignty. It was not your fault. You were reared, trained and used by a series of manipulators. Unfortunately, like most of us, you internalized the abuse and keep hurting yourself. It is time to stop. It will not help anyone, especially you. The world needs you. Be kind to yourself, dear. That's lesson #1. Hugs!
its okay to cry it's not the emotion thats coming out of the mind but out of the energetic body thats where emotions originate we as people atacht thoughts to the emotions and think to match about it insted just let it happen with out thinking to match about it just love your self for having emotions
The aftermath of the abuse to me is like watching your house burn to the ground ( the house is your soul, your entire being). You look at what is left devastated wondering how in the world are you going to rebuild it from scratch. But tell yourself I am a Phoenix I will rise from the ashes and be born again stronger and wiser. You will feel grateful for the truth in time. You are no longer the brainwashed zombie wandering aimlessly like most people in society. Your healing is your act of bravery and defiance to the abuse. You are telling the world and your abuser you can bend me, but I will not break.
Vanessa Smith Preach it home girl! ✨🙌
Love this ❤️💪
You are a lifeline for me right now. An angel guiding me in this darkness. Thank you and please keep doing what you are doing.
I love leaving about your self help for after narc abuse, it's been over 3 years since no/low contact and still feeling sad:( thank you, blessings one love ♡♡♡
Yes the same for me
Same for me, she is such a gifted soul❤️❤️❤️💗 my light through the dark, Ava YOU ARE MY LIGHT
"Making someone feel bad for feeling bad" = THIS RIGHT HERE IS THE EMOTIONAL ABUSE IN A NUTSHELL.
Actually, all along we have felt and known on a deep level that things were absolutely not right with the person. We tried, covered it, hurried it, all the while, the wound was getting deeper as we denied our pain. Now, that it has come to an abrupt halt as in the discard, your wound is permitting you to hurt and ultimately heal. We don't deal with the signs or pain while were in it. Now, the pain must be addressed. That is why it hurts worse than all the very real pain that u felt during your interaction with the completely sick narcissist. Believe in yourself, as u did not all the while that you were lovebombed, idealized, manipulated, lied to, cheated, and discarded. Own your own closure, u knew all along he was sick. Know for certain he is sick. ZERO CONTACT, ZERO CLOSURE FROM HIM. GET UR OWN CLOSURE. YOU ALREADY KNOW, NEED NO MORE FROM HIM. NO LIES, ONLY TRUTH. THE TRUTH IS WHAT YOUVE ALREADY DEALT WITH
So true!
So very true Cecelia. I look back now and I see all the red flags that I ignored to keep the delusion going that everything was ok when I knew it was not. You are right that the discard forces you to address the things we knew in our hearts to be true. These people are sick and their sickness makes us unwell. I developed two auto-immune diseases in the years that I tried to keep the whole thing together. The stress of dissonance is deadly. Keeping a list of all the bad things they did and said to you helps so much. Journaling also helped me see my own progress. There is something about putting it all in writing that helps you see it all more clearly. Now that I am no longer his zombie, his mirror and cheerleader I have time to focus on myself, my children and grandchildren. Sure I get sad sometimes when a good memory floods back and I start to ask why this person is who he is and does such cruel things but many years now after the discard I can look back without thinking that I was not enough. I know my love was real and he was just a mirage. I appreciate this channel so much. Your calm reassuring voice and practical advise helped me through the roughest of times. Anyone just now going through this please know that there is nothing wrong with you. You are a normal person faced with abnormal behavior.
@@cindystephens9066 ua-cam.com/video/ZRBtKSF75gg/v-deo.html
This is an explanation of why we try the waybwe do tho no avail. Have a great day.
Very true
@Soul GPS: your words are so powerful, so much strength in them, thank you for being you!!
I see my Aloneness becoming my greatest strength.
9 months and still having days of despair and misery but getting stronger little by little ... Thank you Carol for asking this question and thank you soulgps for making video ..... Odd because today was a really bad day but glad I watched this video- Stay strong Carol your not on your own my friend! !
Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for your videos and to all the people in this youtube community, helping and sharing the knowledge. The feeling of hopelessness we feel when we have narcs in our lives is overwhelming. We feel we are not worthy and crazy for feeling this way, but our feeling are genuine and correct. We just need this knowledge to take us forward, brush the narc aside and follow our dreams. Keep taking the red pill my good people friends, awoid the blue one. :) Love you all
It took approx. 4 months to me to start feeling better and letting go. Then I found out topic about Twin Flames and *ooooops!* There I was again. Deeply hooked and convinced that my x narcopath is my match made in heaven. :D All the signs were there.
It took another 4 months more when I was diving deep in that theory.. watched dozens (or more, like 200-300) T.F. videos and tarot readings until I bumped to video called "Twin Flame or Narcissistic love bomber?". That's when I found out that there is such things as NPD's, and that they have certain relationship cycles. Which all matched to my case.
Then I watched both T.F. and NPD stuff for a while until I was ready to let go even more thoroughly.
My narc discarded me couple weeks before my birthday in august 10 last year so it's soon whole year. I've not contacted her at all since feb.14 when I wished her happy valentine's day. Before that I could keep three months without trying to contact her.. but before that one I had really difficult time with trying not to write something in fb etc. every few weeks or so. I was totally addicted to her. :(
Felt like my soul was reaped out of me after separation / discard phase. Nothing has ever felt that bad, not even deaths of relatives, not being physically abused /beated, or bullied in schools.. nothing came even close.
I regret wasting my time in Twin Flame stuff, because it kept me hoping and wishing months more after I was already starting to get over. And what I have heard, some ppl. have wasted *years* waiting their "runner" coming back, no matter what they have done to them.
Oh god my story exactly. Still haven't let go completely that it's not a twin flame relationship even though the cycles of narcissism and Twin flames are the same 😵
Dr3Tri, I have been widowed twice. Then I met a narc during my most vulnerable time. I've tried to leave my current relationship a half dozen times and each time, it hurt worse than losing someone who died, like you said. This is my final attempt to break free. It has only been 28 agonizing days so far.
I feel like I am filled with black tar and it’s slowly coming out.. never experienced anything like this in my life. Thank you for being there.
The truth is like ripping off a band aid. Yeah is hurts but... Git 'er done! The worst pain is the slow torture of indecision, confusion, & false hope from these Narcs. We deserve better! ❤️🙏
Agreed. Discard can be the biggest blessing. Use it as a launch into NC and healing.
THIS..... out of all of your videos that I have seen thus far.... has helped me soooo much.
I am sooo sorry for your pain and experience. Thank you for using it for healing others.
“Without the knowledge of evil, we can’t really be good”. Absolutely LOVE that 😍
Thank you this has been such a comfort - it is now a year - a terrible year - you have validated all the shock, fear and utter rejection I have experienced...Life is improving - it does get better, but we have to resarch this awful phenomenon - had never heard of this problem before and am incredibly amazed that this is so prevalent......be positive and listen to the experts.....sent with hope and love xxxx you will heal...x
Soul GPS: the place I find myself when the pain of rumination is too extreme. This channel is medicinal. God Bless you & thank you so so much for these incredible, amazing videos.
Apparently the Narcassist also has a memory problem, inserted details and forgetfullness, or they would remember how you kept getting back up after they attacked you and inflicted moral wounds, yet showed your phenomenal strength and got up. This should give them nightmares & flash backs.The scape goat = the strongest in the family dynamics, able to survive in it's noxious atmosphere, able to exist in a hostil environment. The walking wounded unlike the narcassist who every wound proves fatal. Scape goats are hero's, they survive and walk away from fatal train wrecks, deadly crashes, stabbing and all mortal wounds. Scape goats are the stuff of nightmares, they are the ones who get up after you kick them down a flight stairs, shot them, throw them out the window, run over them, slash & stab them, burn them, drown them etc. Like the monster in movies you can't kill, but the scapegoat always gets up and comes back not to maliciously hurt their narcassist, but for a hug, a embrace and your love. The narc should be afraid because we just keep getting back up.
So true!!!! LONG LIVE THE SCAPEGOAT! 🙌🏻
Soul gps is the hope of so many. I and my narc are seventy years old ,I let him hoover me five times ,it was so extreme for me,I was forced to leave and discover I was programed by my narc mother. My eyes are opened I believe d it was me my whole life ,nine months no contact , started new life in different state. As a retired social worker I should have seen what he is
He rotates his collection of former victims. I didn't know such cruel people exsited. Thanks new revolations from childhood and past men pop into my mind , now I know I was in deniel about how sick they were.
Thanks for your video. I just ended my 2 year relationship with a NPD. It's been less than 24 hours so I definitely needed to hear this video today. You're a very intelligent woman and good looking too :) Thanks for providing a wealth of information. :)
Thank you really for another awesome video!! Carol, don't be this hard on yourself this soon or ever thru this process. Keep strong!!
I just want you to know that your words have helped me so much. I find you’re presence so comforting and life affirming too. Thank you so much💞
I concur♡
I have a note about 18:00 where Soul GPS is talking about making a bulletpoint list, basically writing down everything that I began to realize after the break up.
I keep a notepad in my iPhone that lists
A) Projections
B) Hooks
C) Hoovering
D) Redflags I missed
E) Mirroring tactics
F) Gaslighting
G) Forcing my hand
H) Couching
I) Triangulation
J) Physical effects of the abuse on me
K) The weapons I gave to him when I was unaware/my codependence
L) Things that I felt off about/my real values
M) Positive realizations to keep me moving forward
When I'm out eating and I remember something, I try not to let it get me angry or down. I just add it to the list and categorize it and everything usually falls into these categories. The title of the note is "When I am feeling weak" and the subtitle reads: "I'm neither disillusioned nor confused about where I've been, what I've done, nor where I am going". It really helps on the hard days.
PS: Another list I have is "Positive thoughts to have" which I read immediately after I read the long list of bullshit memories. One of the things I have on that list is: "This is the beginning of a whole new life."
So happy I found your videos. I was married to a covert narcissist for 4 years together for 6. I packed a bag and left for good to another state after another alcoholic and self destructive binge from the narc. I was gone for 2 years and then aloud the narc back in. I moved back to my home state and started talking to him again, only for him to have the final discard. I’ve completely lost the person I was before him. I’m angry at myself. friends and family just think I’m crazy and don’t understand why I’m still hurting after being divorced for 2 years. I know it all stems from childhood trauma. I feel scared for the future and I am so sick of hurting. I use to be so strong, brave and independent. Working on healing now. I have days where I can’t stop crying.
Oh, Sweetheart, I know how hard this is. Have you read the books by Alice Miller and John Bradshaw? They are of immense help when excavating your childhood past. All the best to you!
I am soooo very grateful for your knowledge, kindness and your willingness to share your time and you with us! Bless you
I was reminiscing and thinking about all the special moments we shared, making excuses for him and then I remembered everything we shared were all lies and then I snapped out of it, thank you so much for this video confirms everything I was experiencing
This video reminds me of my long lost memory of this song "Jar Of Hearts" from Christina perri:
Christina Perri Lyrics
"Jar Of Hearts"
I know I can't take one more step towards you
'Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?
I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms
And I've learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?
And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
'Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back
And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
"This experience is an initiation into truth!" How very true and powerful! Thank you!
I actually feel better after watching this video just now 😊 I was having a kinda tough day and struggling to withstand hoovering and feeling a little lonely etc..and I decided to watch this video (I have watched your channel before but I hadn't watched one of your videos in a little while..) anyways I'm so glad I did! You really seem to understand what this experience of narcissistic abuse Is like..I'm so glad you do what you do! Your videos are so empowering 💜💜💜 thanks! 💟💟💟
Thank you for your comment! I'm thrilled to know that you feel better and empowered : )
Your videos bring so much hope and closure. You cover all the topics and emotions we all feel. Thank You
I made that bullet list of all the bad things the narc did. Off the top of my head I listed 30 bullets. I went NO CONTACT over a year ago, and when I made that list just now, I got upset all over again. In the past 6 months I learned a lot about narcissism, so I can label most of these abuses now, but back then I had no idea.
Not even like 10 minutes after I made the post above, I thought of 10 more things, so now the list has 40 bullet points.
I made a list of the red flags that occurred to me over 2 years and came up with 180, 50 of which were deal breakers. No contact 10 weeks and counting. I did see her in a shopping centre a few days ago and got triggered big time with anger. I'm back on track and OK now though the suffering has not disappeared yet.
I thought it was all “normal”! Been abused for so long I got use to his emotional abuse while getting sick including cancer twice!
This gave me a lot of hope. I’ve been crumbling at the thought that my brain is forever changed now, after all the abuse, and I won’t ever get out of the hold he has on my entire being. I find myself thinking sometimes that I’m just doomed and I might as well go back because there’s no way I could change the way my brain learned to work and survive through this. And with no one to talk to in my real life who truly understands or even wants to listen, it becomes harder and harder the more I fall into those thoughts/moments. But your videos are like a sanctuary to me. I know I can come here and feel safe and deeply understood. So truly, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and creating this community. It’s saving my life.
Eva, I am seeing this after seeing 4 or 5 of your more recent videos. I very much see in you the pain of early recovery and I’m so glad to see you now, so much stronger, calmer and in touch with your mind and body. Keep doing the films, you, Meredith Miller, Richard Grannon, Sam Vaknin, Ross Rosenberg, Les Carter, Tara Palmatier to mention a few are a great asset to all of us recovering from CPTSD. Thank you
what you shared ?? in one statement changed my whole life...THIS !! sentence: "even the good times were to HOOK you in" i had intuitvely felt it was all manipulation !! but WHO would be soooooo calloused.calculated.cruel ?? then it clicked !! NO wonder the grief is soooo fucking difficult to process from a NARCabuseEX...bcuz the abuse was PAINFULL & so is the realization the good was FAKED. & yet the TRUTH of knowing this in my gut & HEARING YOU MENTION it ?? has set me free in a whole new way today !! thankYOU for your sharing. i too trust we are forming an army of bullshit detectors & healthy boundary enforcers
THANK YOU, I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR THESE ANSWERS TO HELP ME HEAL..I'M SO GREARFUL
SO TRUE SO TRUE SO TRUE - Thank you for speaking up! xx you are so right!!! i was in a 3rd party relationship and didn't know - he was a narc and a psychopath - he was married, separated lived with his mother and had a mistress who split the marriage and then meets me the trans Unicorn temptation . Over 6 months he lied and created a web of deceptive sob story about his awful life - made me feel sorry for him. i caught him cheating 3 ways went through his ipone when he was drunk and saw all the dates/messages with other women - bullshit lies i cannot imagine how fuck'd up he his... despite how damaged he was, he managed to make me feel and open my heart ... i fell in love with him.. now i am grateful for the lesson i learnt from this... it's ironic how light can emerge from a level of extreme darkness
@Soul GPS: I can't tell you how grateful I am for your videos. This is such a long healing process. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your online support! Peace & love to everyone here!
I really connect with your videos. Narcissistic behaviors are becoming very prevalent in today's society top down, and more awareness is needed to address the issue. Living in truth sets us free, and I really appreciate your level of empathy and insights. Spreading the word!
Thankyou for being there for everyone who needs this.
You are so welcome!
Glad u guys are ok...yes they make our bodies sick it's horrific 😌😌😣
Thanks Ewa, you literally are saving my brain and my self esteem with your videos. It's really, really, painful to know that my own parents are narcissists. I never would have imagined as a child what was
expecting me on the road ahead with my family.
You are simply amazing!!! Your words, your detail, your sincerity and every single thing about you and what you are doing to help others has captured my heart. Thank you!!
22:47 sooooo validating thank you so much. i can feel stabbing pains up my back and sides and in my stomach when i think of him. i don't get that from other people i know....
thank you. I really needed this encouragment today. timely word for me.
I was in a abusive relationship and I couldn't pick up myself to be able to leave the person. I always felt like something isn't right and maybe he really doesn't love me. But the fear of the pain from the past relationships kept me in that relationship. I couldn't believe that I could live without his presence in my daily life. It was painful to be with him as he gaslighted me, hurted me and gave me a million silent treatment. But because you Ava, I could get out of the relationship, her videos aided me and also gave me the strength and courage to begin life again. You are my LIGHT. I thank you a million or maybe saying thank you isn't enough for such a great person, learning from her life and helping people all around. You are the reason I m still in life....love you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💕❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️ even these hearts aren't enough
I’m so happy to know that the videos were helpful and so proud of you for being true to you! Sending you a massive hug! 💞
You are a wonderful woman and your story and journey is truly inspirational. God Bless you. You are really explaining the steps to true healing from this!
Glad to know I will be feeling better soon, one percent, one day, one month, year at a time! Thank you for making this video!
Such a beautiful woman - it is a tragedy to see you so unnecessarily hurt, I myself have grown up in a psychopathic world with generations of pain and actual murders + several misfeasant deaths. You strongly resemble one of my daughters (30) who I love and value most highly... I only hope you value and respect yourself likewise AND ABOVE ALL TREAT YOURSELF AND YOUR ISSUE KINDLY!!
I love your videos. They have helped me more than you can ever know. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you so very much for your great and extremely supportive videos. I lived in severe narc abuse since the day I was born, and also every relationship and marriage... Knowledge is power.
You are so welcome! Knowledge IS power.
I could write pages and pages of the evil vicious thing's they said, I told them I don't hold grudges they can if they choose. I like how you call it purging because that's exactly what the process feels like all the poison and withdrawal a year later im still healing
I’m trying to come to terms how I put up with the mental and physical abuse for 40 years. I’m 60 years old now and trying to forgive myself and move forward. I have to now stop beating myself up with the why and should of left years ago. I feel like I have wasted my whole life 😥
Just found you! Thank you so much for your knowledge and comforting words!
God bless you. This is so timely and gives me the validation the mental health complex would not that I need to go through this exact process instead of following the school that this process is actually pathological and feelings must be medicated to achieve behavioral stability and makes me feel very supported and valued as I face the truth (how, who, what, when, where and why) and face the feelings I have just discovered the past three days and my small support network has not had the availability in that time to provide the presence, compassion and validation to help me through this intense time. Thank you.
I have flashbacks about my ex boss (narc). I do not miss her at all. My flashbacks are all negative and I go into rage spirals. I want to fight her because I didn't irl. I did the grey rock method until I could get out. Two and a half months free and trying to get my joy back.
you are a wonderful human being. thank you.
Thank you!
i make a journey back to the places were we had been. Yesterday i started and it wasn´t so bad i thought!!! Today another trip, i will see what happens. Thank u to be strong!!!
Your explanations are the best
That was great point -mom never wanted
Me to express myself - I wasn’t allowed to feel
Grief .
Not seen my narc since jan 2017. Few days ago he was behind me driving. Stirred up some odds feelings & made me nervous. Of course no wave to him - ignored him he eventually turned off thank god. You said it best here if there were really that good....Then why all the pain & ect...... Great Video -
Every word is so true. Thank you.
Your videos are amazing. Seriously. You're helping me so much. Thank you.
Spot on - Thank you 🙏
Thank you so much for spreading truth
Thank you so much for doing this video.
I have such a hard time with denial. I even want to deny that he fits all the requirements to be a narc. there are different levels of narc's, right?
see even that question is denial
It would appear that there are different levels...I still have to try and justify why he did it as he did not fit the standard profile (but who really does) He was lovely and I loved him so much and probably always will...but the "off" times were so hurtful and scary when he cut me dead -ignored me for days for who knows what!.........and his horrible, humiliating discard of me....... that said it all.......lest we forget........never, forget how bad they could make us feel.......and be strong.. it has now been over a year.......and I still hurt - but not as much as I did........xx
I still have flashbacks... Makes me sick knowing that I have left that piece of s**t to touch me. After 3 years, I still feel miserable and makes me to 🤮 I feel bad about myself.
This is a FABULOUS QUESTION
Ty🌀❤️
And answered so wonderfully 🌸
You are amazing .
Thank you, Joy! I'm so glad you found it helpful!
I hope you are somewhere safe!!! ❤
Thank you for this i truly mean it 💗
I'm working on remembering the bad and not giving narcs the benefit of the doubt.
Thank you indeed i had emotionally abusive parents.
But how long does it take? It's been over a year and I still dream about him and cry when I find something that he bought me, even if it was with my money! I even keep my wedding dress hanging up to remind me of how he married her one week before we were supposed to remarry. He even married her on the same spot that we were supposed to remarry. I thought it would help to remind me of what a JERK he was! But I still keep crying and then beat myself up for being a jerk, in a different way. Thanks for your patience with me.
Hi Carol, I'm in the process of divorce after 15 years of marriage. I was discarded by my husband numerous times in my marriage and it wasn't until I was made aware of NARC abuse that things started to become clear to me. My soon to be ex is a Borderline/NARC and one of the very first things I learned was to rid myself of everything he bought me, or triggers in my home that reminded me of him. Of course it may be difficult to get rid of everything especially if finances are limited. I went as far as sending items back to him and used his mistresses address as the return address so he couldn't return them back to me. I made sure that he didn't know where I was living. I am suffering greatly like so many others that have been victims. But the truth is that we are fighters and survivors, I continue to remind myself that I am worth more than the abuse he has dished out to me. God Bless you and take care of yourself first.
Holy Crap, it is mind "f***" and hypnosis, cruel trance, a wicked spell. This is so helpful. Thank you;-)
Lovely video ....... xx
But I need a drink after all these memories 😔❤️.
another excellent talk...thank you!!!
Very powerfull video.
Pre - programmed to sliding downwards.
Big problem for me is that I don't know what to do with my life.
Greeting from Croatia as well! :) Thank you for your videos, they're helping me so much on my path of healing. If you'll be in Zagreb anytime soon, I'll be thrilled to meet you in person! :)
Spot on! Thanks Ewa. ❤️
11 months for me now and it still hurts deeply
There is so much pain In my body headache muscle pain I'm totally feeling exhausted even though I have left her and it's been only a week. I use to have smoke weed to cope up this mental pressure now I'm not smoking anymore is that why I'm feeling ache in body plz make a video on this physical changes due to narcissist abuse.
Your videos are so much helping I could not tell you are doing great job soul GPS.
Breathe, breathing is extremly important, its almost like a key for succesfull psychic spiritual breakthrough. Breathe deeply. Because of my shallow breathing too often i became too sensitive, but also im greateful for this now, beacuse i learned so much out of it. I would highly recommend to breathe deeply some fresh forest air and having a nice walk. Works for me everytime, plus some fruits on the way ! :D Have a good onne, love listening to your videos, toughts, words, it inspires me, and i know exactly what are you talkingn about because im able to understand better now the narcassism and why im better off alone :) Keep on making awesome videos, im supporting you. Its my birthday! Just wanted to share my thoughts, sorry for some type mistakes. Follow your body heart and mind, feeliings, feelings are the truth. Enjoy hot summer days ~ Slovenia ~ Namaste
Happy birthday! Here is to deep breathing : )
Soul GPS Thank you very much kind girl! :)
Thank you.
How long does it take to heal after 33yrs.....???...??? It's been 3 yrs divorced...it's been a mental nightmare!!!!
Shirley - I have been looking for someone who has spent decades in this web and here you are. I have been married for 22 years and am still in the marriage. I always thought If I ever found the strength to get out of this mess, I couldn't imaging ever looking back and missing him in any way, shape or form. Whatever good there was in the beginning has long been overtaken by the bad. I envy you and the fact that you are now free. But, what do I know? You are saying that you are still in a mental nightmare. That almost scares me since it the mental nightmare that I can only dream of escaping. I still envy you though! If we have to still be living in a mental nightmare, By the grace of God girl, YOU ARE FREE! And I am so happy for you that I have tears in my eyes!!! LET IT ALL GO!!! JUST DO IT!!!!If that is you in the avatar, girl you are beautiful!!! FUCK HIM!!!!
Shirley- Thank you so much for sharing with me! I wish I could actually speak to you over the phone or even privately thru email. I am a mess girl! LOL!Through your pain tho, I can still feel the wisdom that you speak. Again, I thank you! I finally broke down and shared my struggle with my daughter, which was and will continue to be very difficult, for I just cant bring myself right now to come out with it all. It's only been 2 days but, she has been wonderful and so loving to me. Not angry at me at all! I am so blessed!!!I was so ashamed to start fessing up to the lie that I have been living, the lie that I also drug her through. Come to find out, there was so much that she already knew, which was still very awkward because I thought that I was a master in hiding this shit. Making excuses, trying to keep the peace, trying to make like all is OK when in reality, nothing could have been further from the truth. My daughters love and understanding has giving me an example of how I should have been loved all along. Maybe one day I will be SURROUNDED by that kind of love. I can only hope! I am so glad to hear that you are stronger than ever. I will keep you in my prayers and cheer you on from afar!
Do you have Facebook or Messager?
After 30 years of marriage to a Narc (from 17 to 47 years old) I also find myself in dispare. I am happy I left but I find myself missing the good times and crying a lot. It comes in “waves”. It affects my health in so many ways I find myself in pain all the time (physical and mental). People say “get over it” or “move on” and I feel I am stuck. So thanks for your comment and know you’re not alone.
Aixa Colon I understand all to well 34 years from 17 to 34 married him 3 times it’s so hard
Great video! Thank you!
Thank you. Very helpful!
U r the best
So are you!
Very helpful video im going to make it! 🌷
Of all the ways we have found to hurt ourselves, the worse has been through love. We are always suffering because of someone who doesn't love us, or someone who has left us, or someone who won't leave us. If we are alone, it is because no one wants us...
Paulo Coelho, Warrior of the Light
I'm in EXACTLY the same position as the lady you read out x
Excellent.
Thank you X
Perfect audio levels. Thanks. :)
Because- This. 🙏🏻💐
Thank you sweet girl ♥
Pani Ewo, nie wiem na ile Pani to zauważyła, ale z mojego doświadczenia jedną z cech głównych narcyza(stki) jest kalizm pospolity, czyli "jak Kalemu ukraść krowę, to bardzo źle, ale jak Kali ukraść krowę, to bardzo dobrze". Innymi słowy hipokryzja, albo podwójne standardy. Może warto by było zrobić oddzielny materiał na ten temat? Pozdrawiam i trzymam kciuki,
HASTINGS UK I dumped my Covert a year ago after years of denying what he really was and pretending to myself that I could handle him, humour him and that way stay in the relationship because I loved him and needed him so much. He was the most important person in my life, and I wanted to be with him for life. Part of me cannot believe that it was ME who ended it. But he had set me up in yet another tug-of-war, the fifth in 6 years. His idea of "excitement" is to keep starting long term full-on relationships with other women, then tell each about the other, sit back and smirk as the fireworks flew and the women sobbed and begged him to give up the other. He would fold his arms and refuse to give up the other. And he always blamed the women, both of them, for trying to control and possess him, for ensnaring and entrapping him. It was always ALWAYS the fault of the women. He sat there and resolutely refused to accept that he had acted badly towards anyone. He kept the women's identities a secret from each other, but gave each one all the gory details of the "amazing sex" he had with the other woman. This man is a monster. And he is STILL doing it.
I have been married to a narc for 22 years. I am still married to him. My mom is a narc as well and I have had to put up with her BS for 49 years. She is still alive. I am numb inside and have been my whole life. But, everything is now coming to a head and It feels l like everything in my life is out of my control. I am actually mean and bitter now and all I want is be the person I use to be before I die. My patients are shot and due to a lifetime of this abuse, I can't seem to move on. Like I am frozen in fear. I know better than to live like this and deep down inside, I know I deserve better than what I have allowed. There is no excuse at this point and I am ashamed of what I have allowed to happen to me. As a matter of fact, I cannot seem to forgive myself for all of the time I have wasted pissing around with these low life people. My beautiful daughter was subjected to it as well and I cant seem to forgive myself for allowing it. That's my biggest problem I think. I cant believe that I allowed this and I can't take it back. I was sexually abused for most of my childhood and thus, I have always chosen the wrong men to love. None of them have ever really loved me except for 1 and I let him go 30 years ago. I keep telling myself that I might as well stay where I am at because, I am afraid that I will eventually just pick up with another ass hole. This is a pattern for me. I know the grass will not be greener for me. Like I said, I am frozen in fear.Please !!! Someone please help me because, I don't have anyone that understands or cares enough to understand. I only have 1 friend because my husband wouldn't allow me to socialize. I don't mean to blame my husband because I know it was out of my own stupidity that this happened me, but now, I suffer from horrible social anxiety. I have changed. I am no longer the loving beautiful person I use to be. I hate myself now. I still try to project the love that is in my heart but, I think the bitterness has now overwhelmed me and I can no longer hide it behind a smile or a kind gesture. I don't think love or happiness was ever meant for me and I cannot seem to accept this either. For years, I have thought that there was still something left for me but now, I am not sure. All I want is for all of the ugliness to go away. All I want is to have someone to play with and have fun with before I die. I am so tired of being alone and trapped but at the same time, I am so tired and worn out emotionally, all I can do is stare and wonder. I don't know what to do anymore. Thank you for listening!
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I understand the numbness and out of control hurricane scenario. All this will pass after you stop berating yourself. Clearly, there is a lot of bitterness, anger and emotion that's been lodged deep inside you. All of this needs to come out. That's foundational. You need to create a space of safety for yourself and surround yourself with compassion and love generated by You. Now is not the time to date or look for new friends. They will come. In time. This is healing time. The only way to forgive is when there is a genuine sense of wrongdoing on the side of the person who did wrong. You openly admit to making wrong choices. This is enough. It is time you let it go and forgive yourself so that the lessons can become the gems in your crown as you work towards reclaiming your true sovereignty. It was not your fault. You were reared, trained and used by a series of manipulators. Unfortunately, like most of us, you internalized the abuse and keep hurting yourself. It is time to stop. It will not help anyone, especially you. The world needs you. Be kind to yourself, dear. That's lesson #1. Hugs!
You are amazing
its okay to cry it's not the emotion thats coming out of the mind but out of the energetic body thats where emotions originate we as people atacht thoughts to the emotions and think to match about it insted just let it happen with out thinking to match about it just love your self for having emotions
I wouldn't even call it survival of the fittest it is more like survival of the cruelest.
My flashbacks and triggers went back after I found out he has a new supply
How do you give yourself love and compassion?