If ever there was a war against a narcissist army, akin to a biblical war, Paula and Remy would be the voice of our battle cry. You are the most passionate, the most compassionate, and the most elegant speaker on the subject I have heard. You truly speak from the heart and you validate our experiences like no one else on the subject. I feel so empowered listening to you and I can’t seem to get enough. Also, the Irish accent is music to my ears 😅
Thank you Paula … I’ve been l have been watching your podcasts for years and you have saved me. I think when you come to accept in your mind and heart , that you’re dealing with devils and not actually a person .. it then becomes easier to go no contact , I’ve found listening to bible verses on utube over and over again have helped immensely.. reprogramming the brain …I certainly don’t spend hours ruminating over the narc as I once did .. My life was absolutely ruined by the narc and now I am trusting in GOD TO RESTORE ME .. It’s definitely spiritual warfare… …I PRAY FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH THIS HELLISH NIGHTMARE… you can break that trauma bond with the help of GOD
Prayer brings you into alpha. " if you have faith the size of a tiny mustard seed, you can move mountainous obstacles from here to there, and nothing will be impossible for you."
For myself, as a Christian, reading the entire Bible was life changing. The Scriptures bathed my mind and helped get me in a reverent state. Since God totally took me out of my dark descent with my former Narcissist I wanted to honor Him with my discipline to Him. I also listen to you Paula. Your voice is calming and reassuring. Shout out to Petra Van Deijl on You Tube. She is a life coach, content creator and breath coach. Her voice is amazing. Paula you guys should do a podcast together. You are both so educated on Narcissistic Abuse.
This is so beautiful to hear! God got me out too, I'm just now getting ready to seriously read the bible,, have always read this and that, verses, but never dived in daily. ❤🎉
I recommend Bible Recap. I read on the You Version Bible App. I watched videos on UA-cam. I found the 365 day schedule very doable. I also read the Bible out loud with the Bible app. Brings the Scriptures to life. God rescued me and I wanted to show him my devotion. I am rereading the OT again. For me, God in the key to this abuse. Paula is right about the spiritual abuse angle. She is my #1 go to podcast about Narcissistic abuse. God bless from Minnesota.
@@Healinglove It is available on the Bible app You Version. I have it on my phone. You follow the 365 day plan. I watched the videos on UA-cam. I started with Genesis. Tara Lee Cobble is the founder.
The whole Bible is about our Creator and the destroyer. Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy and narcissists( Jezebel and Leviathan spirits) are his foot soldiers ⚔️ God bless you 🙏
As a survivor of narcissistic child abuse I meditate on this: ''I am a beloved child of the Universe.'' I learned this from an old lady in Ireland 28 years ago.
Yes!! I agree in general, but in my case, I remind myself that I am the beloved child of the Creator of the universe! If there are more than one universes, then I will augment it to say that I am the beloved child of the Creator of All Universes!! ❤
Absolutely. I’m doing my UA-cam PHD as well. It really helped to get over it. And now I am addicted to psychology. Better than addicted to bad relationships.
I got to the point where I realised I was being trauma bonded and that if I allowed it to, and kept going back to him, he would gain more and more control over me so I knew I had to say no more for my own self respect. He wasn’t expecting me to react that way but I told him calmly and unemotionally that I didn’t deserve to be treated the way that he had treated me, whatever the reason was for him behaving like that. He had a melt down and I haven’t spoken to him since and yet I find myself still keeping tabs on what he is doing. I do feel in control though and I’m slowly removing myself from his presence more and more, little by little.
I remember “keeping tabs” on my ex narc. I completely understand. In time, you will do that less and less. They eventually become a distant memory. It’s helpful to keep in mind that as you move forward, you are becoming more aware, more informed, more evolved . They will always be the same and will always stay in the same place, going round and round with anyone who will allow it.
Praise God for your bravery love! After suicidal thoughts everyday last year..I am not at SO MUCH PEACE!!! Getting to the other side of the mountain is AMAZING and better than gold!
I studied Zen in Korea and China. Theravada in Thailand. There are 4 types of meditation. Sitting meditation, which can be in a chair or on the floor. (you don't have to sit lotus pose or whatever.) Also, walking meditation. Lying mediation. Standing mediation. These can go on for 2,3,4 minutes or more extending longer with practice. And then some people get to where they can zoom in and out of a meditative state in moments all the time during everyday life. Zen is kind of like 24/7 meditation. These concepts helped me.
I love these! I have studied for many years as well, more recently I’ve been preferring, guided meditations and visualizations. Helps my busy monkey mind to settle and slow.
Paula&Remy❤❤THANK YOU❤❤ I am going through the 'narc wheel' cycle and trying desperately to escape! This morning I stood up to him and said 'NO!'😮 I love listening to harp music....so amazing!❤❤
I can feel I’m free at last. But I still work on it every day. I watch and listen to advices and Knowledge about covert narcisits, how to desconect, why and when they become narsisit, I smile a lot, I think about positive things. I do things I stopped doing. Take courses about things I like for example history. I even started a short career as mediator. That is very good for me to be able to cope with maipulation. I alto had 5 couching setions that were very good to start knowing who I am. ( sorry for my spelling; English is my second languege!) These are certain things that helped me. Know I will try meditation and breething although they are not my forte. They are not easy at all for me. Doing any of them feels tedious.
I can't Thank You enough. My life has completely changed since finding your channel. I feel so lucky☘️. Sending lots of love and gratitude from Ohio 🇺🇲.
I just wanted to thank you for this message. It is timely and critical. We all need to free ourselves from the energy of the narcissist. Thank you for showing us one way to do that.
Paula, you are the greatest! Thanks for the way you know how to stimulate and encourage us to get better and better offering a lot of tools ….. we all will get through this epic event and come out gloriously. Thanks for your efforts. For Rémy a big hug for being such a good dog ❤
Hello , thank you for the video . It is very interesting and expository. I personally have gone through the traumatic Stage. it is very dangerous, and it leads to an accident. this traumatic state is that state where you feel as if your Soul is not connected to your body, sometimes if you are walking , you feel like your Soul wants to leave your body, because all your mind and thoughts are occupied with the Narcissist Energy, and this alone will lead to connotative dissonance, or lack of decision , and Judgement. It is a very bad experience😮
I am so glad I found your channel. I am an empath and love your perspective on the spiritual aspect of narcissism. You are one of the many that has helped me break the cycle.
You are correct. I am out of this narc relationship for 10 months. Still in a bit of truma and am stuck a bit. Got anxiety. My sleeping pattern is very bad. Gone on holiday for 3 weeks. So hopfully i am out of his energy like you say. Shooooo i need that third stage.🎉🎉
The devil didn’t want you getting this out because the narcissist is the devils tool to distort and destroy many of us bringing us to hopelessness and worse.
I too experienced this never ending ruminating and going over the past, and not being able to move on, especially when he gave me no closure. I didn’t know how to feel or think due to being trapped and trauma Bonded for 2years
Paula, thank you and your beautiful pup for these videos. Everyone's voice is a bit different and I resonate with yours. I refer to my experience as a cross between an awakening and psychosis. I dissociated for an extremely long time but I also picked up painting and I healed. I had many teachers and I learned. I agree and appreciate your spiritual take on this subject. I turned off all programming because I believe it reinforces narcissism in our culture. My tastes in music and everything I consume has changed. Today I am narcissist proof, or close since I know there's always a chance one will slip through and one briefly did. It wouldn't last long though and that's a win for me. It's been 4 years for me and I still learn from others like you and the divinity that God has instilled in me. ❤
Your description of how it feels to be imprisoned & stuck in the narcissist trauma cycle after the discard phase is exactly how I feel. The pain is excruciating and the negative self talk is overwhelming. This state only serves the narc by keeping me on a self-defeating trauma wheel. After listening to your podcast I am going to go back to deep breathing, yoga and long walks with my dog. The process of completely removing myself from the narc will not be complete until my divorce is final. I also need to learn and maintain strong boundaries with the narc's flying monkeys if I want these people in my life. Sometimes I turn to alcohol or food to try to numb the pain and calm the anxiety so that I can make it through the day. I know this is a self destructive survival strategy that is preventing me from healing and finally becoming the best version of myself. I will replace these unhealthy coping mechanisms with deep breathing, intense exercise, yoga and long walks in nature with my dog. I will move forward one day at a time through this darkness with compassion and empathy for myself. I have passed through the radical acceptance stage of realizing that I have been married to a narc for 30 years who emotionally and mentally abused me. He began to discard me at least 15 years ago but I continued to blame myself and try to survive. I know that the reason that I have not been ok for so long is because the narc never loved me and chose to abuse me in the most vulnerable parts of who I am. A very wise and experienced therapist told me 3 years ago that there was nothing wrong with me and everything wrong with what was done to me. He warned me not to go back to the marriage because it was not safe but I didn't listen because I loved the narc and wanted my marriage and family back. I have spent the last 3 years trying to reconcile with the narc and rebuild my marriage and family. Instead I fled the marriage at least 3 or 4 times and was inflicted by more trauma and physical illnesses. The narc continued to destroy me exploiting my most vulnerable spots. He weaponized our children against me and even used my good intentions for my children and family against me. At least now I can cl😢early see him as the covert narc that he is. Now I am facing a contentious divorce. I am terrified of what the narc will do if he doesn't get what he wants which is to completely destroy me and all my close family relationships. It's difficult to see and process the shame of this abusive relationship that I stayed in for 30+ years. The good part is that I raised 3 beautiful children. I wasn't perfect and couldn't protect them from everything but I never gave up trying because I love them so much. I loved being their mother but it's difficult to endure the pain of their rejection when the narc weaponizes them against me as his flying monkeys. I am determined to step forward one day at a time to heal my brain and body and break free from this narc trauma bond and finally be happy with who I am and love myself for this last chapter of my earthly life. I want to be healed so l can help others who are also stuck in a trauma bond with a covert narc. I want to rid myself of any anger about the past and live in the moment. I want to build and enjoy healthy relationships with healthy people and be able to recognize and walk away from unhealthy abusive connections.
During the time I was with my ex I didn't know about narcissist people...I couldn't understand the emotional chaos and abuse that went on being with this person. When he walked out on me there was no way to have closure for me. It has been a challenge and a learning about narcissist and am amazed at how many people are so self absorbed and self centered. I have come to the conclusion that narcissist people are very evil as you have mentioned And my desire is to stay with an open heart...and in the light and Love,..but. Keeping the Narcs. Out of my life! Blesses to you and Everyone here and Remy.💜
Radical acceptance. I thought I had reached it. I guess not. I can't understand how she doesn't care. She's incapable of caring. I was someone who was used. When she was done she discarded me. Throwing me out the window on the highway like a piece of trash. I don't think I'll ever understand it. It hurts so much. To think she only looked at me like some source of supply. Never loved me. Wow crazy. I know its real but I really can't understand it. I'm so lonely, sad, rejected, and I feel empty inside. Her coldness cuts deep. I pray God will end my misery, my heartbreak.
Hi Community! I'm from Poland and one of the popular post Narc coach reccomends Neurofeedback training. Usually its 7 days and the goal is to train the brain to work on alfa waves. Exactly what Paula said. I will try it soon. They are checking brain waves with electrodes :)
I'm so glad you decided to rerecord this. I tried to watch it thinking it was something I needed to hear. I'm on my 9th cycle of the pattern. I'm trying but small kids and money issues make it very difficult.
Thank you Paula! This video is excellent! Clear and clarifies to my brain exactly what to do to transcend the rumination! I would suggest meditation to your videos because you are an Angel! Thank you so much ❤️🌷
There in my life, from the beginning, my father, my uncle, my brother, my ex, in work, at this stage, I've excepted there everywhere, but I never intertain them now,I keep them out of my life.
Realize our TRUE SELF. It is not the ego person who is the mind. The true self is ESSENCE. It’s AWARENESS The narcissist is afraid of NO FORM. They think it’s like a black hole or something unknown. But we know what it is. It’s CONSCIOUSNESS and it’s here and now.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️👍⭐️Paula!!!!!!! WOW this is your best yet!!!!!!!!!! And I really enjoy hearing that you have the conversations that can go on while washing up or in the shower etc. It's comforting to know that you are like this too. But you know, the great thing about that is, you can only get YOUR answer, not that of any other person.⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I love taking responsibility of reprogramming my brain. I used theta to ward of my mother's narcissistic behaviour. Like watching a play I didnt give into the evil energy as a child. Now I have spiritual visions & music 24/7.
Love the way you describe how wavelengths transfer into states of mind in our daily lives. It makes it all so much clearer! I have become very good at being aware of my feelings and thought processes as they come, now I will add the wavelengths to it all! ❤
I am grateful I found my way to your series. I haven’t heard anyone else talk about the spiritual aspects of narcissism and the gravitational pull it has. My adult kids’ father is a malignant narcissist and I didn’t even know until my divorce lawyer told me. He told me not to say a word and let him handle my ex. I learned a lot watching him. Sadly, my son is 35 and has become so much like his father that it is shocking at times. His father is in late stage alcoholism after a long and successful career in the music industry. Once again (maybe the 10th time in two years) our son is going to “rescue” his father by maybe detoxing him again. Every time this happens my son’s mental health dramatically deteriorates further. After the obvious lies my son told me Friday night and the near spiritual crisis I had this weekend, I am considering how I am going to go no contact with my son. I NEVER thought I could or would do that. He is my son!!! Today I realized I will either go grey rock if necessary and no contact if possible OR continue volunteering for his abuse and it could kill me. As a mother it is difficult to face that my son has zero desire to change. I cannot help him.
I am really sorry to hear of your experience and am available for coaching if that would help..if not and your lawyer would be happy to send their details to me, I’m compiling a recommendations list for survivors assistance…narcscon@gmail.com 🌹
Thank you so much Paula…I am learning so much and feel that I am so much stronger within myself, no longer being dragged down and made to feel inferior. Luckily I have a loving husband with lots of support.. but when the narcissist you are deal with is your sister, it is really hard. I will continue to listen to you and Clair De Lune is a real favourite of mine..God Bless..🤗
I thank God for you. Your channel has been so informative. Thank you for paying the way forward. I pray that you allow God to continue to use you. Thank you ❤
One of my favorite to get my mind in a good place is Tangerine Dream/ Canyon Dreams. It is an old album but it always takes my mind to a beautiful canyon. Thanks Paula ❤
🙏🤍💫🪬 Claire de Lune is one of my favorite pieces of music to meditate to💝 I absolutely talk to myself as my best friend. I don’t say anything to myself I wouldn’t say to someone I love.
It's tough, and not uncommon ,when after the divorce your own children become the flying monkeys of your x. I left to protect them and they went back in even deeper 🙏
The act as if it's already a happening thing method really worked for me, excellent video. I'm on the other side of the crazy now and I love it. Thank you 🙏 Paula love from Socorro NM 🤠.
This podcast is amazing and thank you. The brain phases explanation is great. I play alpha music when sleeping thanks to you. Just to help others out, I did Neuro linguistic programming that removed negative emotions and limiting beliefs. All the best to amyone who had to endure or is enduring narcasist abuse. You will win. 😊
I have experienced that sate and yes it is the most amazing space/place to be .....phenomenal yes !!! I had been meditating an hour or so, twice a day and listening to Dana Winner " One moment in time "; I experienced out of this world state , and yes it felt like one with all and I needed no one and was complete on my own.
I am on a healing pathway listening to and playing my own musical instruments.... especially strings and wind; harp, flute etc. It It is an amazing way to produce and share good vibes. All recommended via The Bible. The story of David and King Saul is an excellent example. Summed up by the fact that David stopped King Saul (certainly a narcissist) from killing him by playing the lyre. Paula you certainly are aware of such living in Ireland. My celtic lyre and one of my harps were made there; also tin whistles. Thanks very very much for your wise, helpful podcasts. God bless!
Wonderful video: your description at the beginning resonated so strongly with me and the rest was more helpful than anything else I have come across. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Music that takes me to 'that' place is Geff Buckley or Alison Moyet singing Dido's Lament and the Andante movement from Mozart's Clarinet Concerto. I already support the Soi Dog foundation but will gratefully send money to the Humane Foundation. I am trying to meditate but failing as the rumination and anxiety is all encompassing except for music and early morning bird song out of doors. I cannot leave my husband who I think may be a Narcissist as he is now disabled and has dementia and Alzheimers and I am his only carer. So finally, he has me where he wants me. However, I am determined to free my mind somehow so that he cannot control that.
In my case everything the Narc hurt me he started quoting Bible verses saying God would not want me to hate anyone. They have a whole bag of tricks to throw the blame on someone when they get it trouble.
Amazing video, thanks Paula. What you said about the rumination being a danger to survival resonated with me, I do feel stuck on the wheel, the covert-narcissist is consuming my thoughts every day. I have noticed I am less 'present' than I was with my family. Their emails chipped away at me this weekend, adding more and more subtle comments each time to provoke a response. I replied in the end to defend myself (in a calm manner), and was accused of having zero empathy! I couldn't concentrate at work this week, I feel on alert all the time and I want it to stop. I want to live my life without this. I have made notes and will definitely try these suggestions. Thank you so much. PS I had to keep rewinding the video around the 17.35 mark as I was just fascinated by Remy repositioning the cushion with his nose before he laid back down (it was in the way). What a sweetheart xx
I left almost 4 years ago and I still ruminate nonstop. I’m starting to wonder if I’m just addictive but I have heard these evil people put spells on us
@@meowkity1 Sorry you are still struggling. It is interesting, I have asked myself too why I ruminate. I think I see this person as a threat to me and my family (not in a violent way). Just that they want to disrupt our lives, to say "I am here". I feel I am always on alert for when I need to defend us from anything that comes our way from them, which could be anytime.
@@julieibbotson6193 I. Discovered the narc was a child predator so I lived in a state of shock for a couple years. Just can’t get over it. I think it contributes to why I can’t get over it I’m just so shocked by it but it’s non stop every minute which is so strange
Love you so much Paula and Remy, this is one of the most incredibly helpful, hopeful videos I have even seen and it should be mandatory for every human. In addition to helping people see yhe potential for humanity, there would be less narcissistic individuals/converts I feel...thank you soooo much.
Thank you for this pod cast Paula. I watched the 3 day event last weekend on u tube presented by Oliver Nino... it was a wealth of information and I definitely came away feeling changed from the experience. I am thriving to reach a more high vibrational level and yes meditation and music are such important tools in changing the low vibration that we were exposed to. ❤
Wow, just what I needed to hear! I find this alpha state sound for me is a Catholic choir lol....I found this out by watching Sunday mass at the Vatican. Hearing the choir I could immediately close my eyes and "be here" but on a different level....kinda trippy! Deep baritones gets me there. Wow tho, this is EXACTLY where I am at with a 20 year relationship with a malignant narcissist! 4 kids, thank God I have my own place, and I am trying to break this wheel of misery! I am moved out and yet we are like 5 minutes apart 😔😔 breaking a 20 year trauma bond is where I am at...and thank you for this!!!
Yes!!!!!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉I'm excited all the time, !!!!!! What I'm now !! Saying is, thee ONLY! Man I'd consider! Is, he who comes upto me, persues me, knows what he wants, brings me flowers all the time, ....!!!!!!!! Yes!!
Paula, the detailed content, hopeful/supportive vision and sincere passion you expressed in this so very articulate message/podcast was/is SO very powerful and impactful. I, along with so many others, who have done many other things to heal and release our creative soul, need to now put more focus on meditation to get into a more healing state of mind. THANK YOU. WOW! Needed to hear this on this point of my healing journey. You are such a blessing!🙏🏼💕😃📚
Regarding your suggestion about exercise: I am an ME/ Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia sufferer. I use a rowing machine. It is ideal because it is sitting down and it's rhythmic therefore calming. I think it is mazing, I can only recommend it for it's healing potential on top of strengthening the core. It also calming at times when I am agitated.
Hi Paula. Love and thank you for giving out the knowledge. The knowledge comes after the relationship for most of us. I wish I would've known what a narcissist was because I didn't know anything until after God helped me escape from the narcissist.
You know,I have said this before, but I have to say it again ,you look wonderful, radiant, your an Inspiration to us all
Thanks so much 😊
@@NarcConthnx for this. I cant post comments unless its in the form of a reply. Do yuu know why?
If ever there was a war against a narcissist army, akin to a biblical war, Paula and Remy would be the voice of our battle cry. You are the most passionate, the most compassionate, and the most elegant speaker on the subject I have heard. You truly speak from the heart and you validate our experiences like no one else on the subject. I feel so empowered listening to you and I can’t seem to get enough. Also, the Irish accent is music to my ears 😅
We're in the biblical war against the narcissist ⚔️🙌🛡️🙏
Thank you 🙋♀️🐕
Well said. 💯 🙏🏻💔
Couldn't agree more.
I firmly believe spiritual warfare is real and to try to explain a narc without it is like looking at the problem in two dimensions..
Thank you Paula … I’ve been l have been watching your podcasts for years and you have saved me.
I think when you come to accept in your mind and heart , that you’re dealing with devils and not actually a person .. it then becomes easier to go no contact , I’ve found listening to bible verses on utube over and over again have helped immensely.. reprogramming the brain …I certainly don’t spend hours ruminating over the narc as I once did ..
My life was absolutely ruined by the narc and now I am trusting in GOD TO RESTORE ME ..
It’s definitely spiritual warfare… …I PRAY FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH THIS HELLISH NIGHTMARE… you can break that trauma bond with the help of GOD
Thank you. That is very encouraging.
Thanks Darcy great to see you 🙋♀️🙏
I want to stay single and focus on finding my purpose in life.
Prayer brings you into alpha. " if you have faith the size of a tiny mustard seed, you can move mountainous obstacles from here to there, and nothing will be impossible for you."
Thank you for reminding me about this scripture.🕊
Sing songs unto the
Lord. Praise him for who he really is❤
For myself, as a Christian, reading the entire Bible was life changing. The Scriptures bathed my mind and helped get me in a reverent state. Since God totally took me out of my dark descent with my former Narcissist I wanted to honor Him with my discipline to Him. I also listen to you Paula. Your voice is calming and reassuring. Shout out to Petra Van Deijl on You Tube. She is a life coach, content creator and breath coach. Her voice is amazing. Paula you guys should do a podcast together. You are both so educated on Narcissistic Abuse.
This is so beautiful to hear! God got me out too, I'm just now getting ready to seriously read the bible,, have always read this and that, verses, but never dived in daily. ❤🎉
I recommend Bible Recap. I read on the You Version Bible App. I watched videos on UA-cam. I found the 365 day schedule very doable. I also read the Bible out loud with the Bible app. Brings the Scriptures to life. God rescued me and I wanted to show him my devotion. I am rereading the OT again. For me, God in the key to this abuse. Paula is right about the spiritual abuse angle. She is my #1 go to podcast about Narcissistic abuse. God bless from Minnesota.
@@Ptowngirlwhere do I find Bible Recap? ❤
@@Healinglove It is available on the Bible app You Version. I have it on my phone. You follow the 365 day plan. I watched the videos on UA-cam. I started with Genesis. Tara Lee Cobble is the founder.
The whole Bible is about our Creator and the destroyer.
Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy and narcissists( Jezebel and Leviathan spirits) are his foot soldiers ⚔️
God bless you 🙏
As a survivor of narcissistic child abuse I meditate on this: ''I am a beloved child of the Universe.'' I learned this from an old lady in Ireland 28 years ago.
Yes!! I agree in general, but in my case, I remind myself that I am the beloved child of the Creator of the universe! If there are more than one universes, then I will augment it to say that I am the beloved child of the Creator of All Universes!! ❤
@@MaryYaeger-xz9gj ❤
Post escape has left me with an obsession with cluster b disorders. We do vibrate higher the longer we stay no contact. Sweet Remy.
Absolutely. I’m doing my UA-cam PHD as well.
It really helped to get over it. And now I am addicted to psychology. Better than addicted to bad relationships.
Good afternoon Paula ,sweet peaceful Remy and everyone thankful to God for allowing me to get out of that demonic stronghold 😊🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
I got to the point where I realised I was being trauma bonded and that if I allowed it to, and kept going back to him, he would gain more and more control over me so I knew I had to say no more for my own self respect. He wasn’t expecting me to react that way but I told him calmly and unemotionally that I didn’t deserve to be treated the way that he had treated me, whatever the reason was for him behaving like that. He had a melt down and I haven’t spoken to him since and yet I find myself still keeping tabs on what he is doing. I do feel in control though and I’m slowly removing myself from his presence more and more, little by little.
I remember “keeping tabs” on my ex narc. I completely understand. In time, you will do that less and less. They eventually become a distant memory. It’s helpful to keep in mind that as you move forward, you are becoming more aware, more informed, more evolved . They will always be the same and will always stay in the same place, going round and round with anyone who will allow it.
Praise God for your bravery love! After suicidal thoughts everyday last year..I am not at SO MUCH PEACE!!! Getting to the other side of the mountain is AMAZING and better than gold!
I was in similar state. It was covert & it almost killed me. Sadistic.
I studied Zen in Korea and China. Theravada in Thailand. There are 4 types of meditation. Sitting meditation, which can be in a chair or on the floor. (you don't have to sit lotus pose or whatever.) Also, walking meditation. Lying mediation. Standing mediation. These can go on for 2,3,4 minutes or more extending longer with practice. And then some people get to where they can zoom in and out of a meditative state in moments all the time during everyday life. Zen is kind of like 24/7 meditation. These concepts helped me.
I love these! I have studied for many years as well, more recently I’ve been preferring, guided meditations and visualizations. Helps my busy monkey mind to settle and slow.
Looks like Remy is enjoying some Theta waves. 😂❤
Indeed 🤓🐕
My closer was learning about narcissistic behavior.now that I know IT WASENT ME..that’s enough for me to heal..I no longer doubt myself.
There is a UA-cam channel of a guy who is a recovering narcissist who said that they want you miserable - so do the opposite. Be happy!
He is a liar because a narc cannot recover nor do they want to. It's true that they want you miserable though, no question about that!
@@lilleeball1148 The channel is Mental Healness.
Of course I have conversations with myself 😂, everyone does.
Wow, Thank you Paula, This message covers so much important information for Survivors. You and Remi are truly a Blessing to us.💜🧠🙏
Paula&Remy❤❤THANK YOU❤❤ I am going through the 'narc wheel' cycle and trying desperately to escape! This morning I stood up to him and said 'NO!'😮 I love listening to harp music....so amazing!❤❤
🌹🙋♀️
Thank God I'm free from the Beta wave hamster wheel. 💪
I can feel I’m free at last. But I still work on it every day. I watch and listen to advices and Knowledge about covert narcisits, how to desconect, why and when they become narsisit, I smile a lot, I think about positive things. I do things I stopped doing. Take courses about things I like for example history. I even started a short career as mediator. That is very good for me to be able to cope with maipulation. I alto had 5 couching setions that were very good to start knowing who I am. ( sorry for my spelling; English is my second languege!) These are certain things that helped me. Know I will try meditation and breething although they are not my forte. They are not easy at all for me. Doing any of them feels tedious.
the music is a frequency thing that uplifts you in the old world frequency was used to heal people
I can't Thank You enough. My life has completely changed since finding your channel. I feel so lucky☘️. Sending lots of love and gratitude from Ohio 🇺🇲.
So glad!
I'm in. Much love and gratitude for this and all your blessed messages. 💕💕
Thank you Paula
That was a brilliant peice and will help us all too move on.
Well ✔️ 👍 done and you are looking good.
Peace&Love&Light Namaste 🙏 ♥️
Amazing. Re-train the brain! 😘👍👍👍
I just wanted to thank you for this message. It is timely and critical. We all need to free ourselves from the energy of the narcissist. Thank you for showing us one way to do that.
Paula, you are the greatest!
Thanks for the way you know how to stimulate and encourage us to get better and better offering a lot of tools ….. we all will get through this epic event and come out gloriously.
Thanks for your efforts.
For Rémy a big hug for being such a good dog ❤
🐕🥰..hugged
IT HAPPEND TO ME. AFTER 4 years I STOPPED LIVING IN THE PAST.
Hello , thank you for the video .
It is very interesting and expository.
I personally have gone through the traumatic Stage. it is very dangerous, and it leads to an accident. this traumatic state is that state where you feel as if your Soul is not connected to your body, sometimes if you are walking , you feel like your Soul wants to leave your body, because all your mind and thoughts are occupied with the Narcissist Energy, and this alone will lead to connotative dissonance, or lack of decision , and Judgement.
It is a very bad experience😮
I am so glad I found your channel. I am an empath and love your perspective on the spiritual aspect of narcissism. You are one of the many that has helped me break the cycle.
Im stuck in resentment, praying for justice😢
This video could not have been more perfectly timed. Thank you
I train my brain to stay out of anything external by telling it “ don’t touch this and don’t touch that”.
Thank you. I needed something to get my brain working again.
Paula really appreciate you sharing your knowledge and experience on this topic.
Sound advice with Grace.
Shalom ❤
You are correct. I am out of this narc relationship for 10 months. Still in a bit of truma and am stuck a bit. Got anxiety. My sleeping pattern is very bad. Gone on holiday for 3 weeks. So hopfully i am out of his energy like you say. Shooooo i need that third stage.🎉🎉
Same here
Sending love and healing
We got this 🤍
The devil didn’t want you getting this out because the narcissist is the devils tool to distort and destroy many of us bringing us to hopelessness and worse.
The dog is totally listening to you and programming his brain to relax more 😁
Pretty good advice.
I too experienced this never ending ruminating and going over the past, and not being able to move on, especially when he gave me no closure. I didn’t know how to feel or think due to being trapped and trauma Bonded for 2years
Paula, thank you and your beautiful pup for these videos. Everyone's voice is a bit different and I resonate with yours.
I refer to my experience as a cross between an awakening and psychosis. I dissociated for an extremely long time but I also picked up painting and I healed.
I had many teachers and I learned. I agree and appreciate your spiritual take on this subject.
I turned off all programming because I believe it reinforces narcissism in our culture. My tastes in music and everything I consume has changed. Today I am narcissist proof, or close since I know there's always a chance one will slip through and one briefly did. It wouldn't last long though and that's a win for me. It's been 4 years for me and I still learn from others like you and the divinity that God has instilled in me. ❤
You have an excellent way of explaining things to people
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@@NarcCon 😀💜💯
Your description of how it feels to be imprisoned & stuck in the narcissist trauma cycle after the discard phase is exactly how I feel. The pain is excruciating and the negative self talk is overwhelming. This state only serves the narc by keeping me on a self-defeating trauma wheel. After listening to your podcast I am going to go back to deep breathing, yoga and long walks with my dog. The process of completely removing myself from the narc will not be complete until my divorce is final. I also need to learn and maintain strong boundaries with the narc's flying monkeys if I want these people in my life. Sometimes I turn to alcohol or food to try to numb the pain and calm the anxiety so that I can make it through the day. I know this is a self destructive survival strategy that is preventing me from healing and finally becoming the best version of myself. I will replace these unhealthy coping mechanisms with deep breathing, intense exercise, yoga and long walks in nature with my dog. I will move forward one day at a time through this darkness with compassion and empathy for myself. I have passed through the radical acceptance stage of realizing that I have been married to a narc for 30 years who emotionally and mentally abused me. He began to discard me at least 15 years ago but I continued to blame myself and try to survive. I know that the reason that I have not been ok for so long is because the narc never loved me and chose to abuse me in the most vulnerable parts of who I am. A very wise and experienced therapist told me 3 years ago that there was nothing wrong with me and everything wrong with what was done to me. He warned me not to go back to the marriage because it was not safe but I didn't listen because I loved the narc and wanted my marriage and family back. I have spent the last 3 years trying to reconcile with the narc and rebuild my marriage and family. Instead I fled the marriage at least 3 or 4 times and was inflicted by more trauma and physical illnesses. The narc continued to destroy me exploiting my most vulnerable spots. He weaponized our children against me and even used my good intentions for my children and family against me. At least now I can cl😢early see him as the covert narc that he is. Now I am facing a contentious divorce. I am terrified of what the narc will do if he doesn't get what he wants which is to completely destroy me and all my close family relationships. It's difficult to see and process the shame of this abusive relationship that I stayed in for 30+ years. The good part is that I raised 3 beautiful children. I wasn't perfect and couldn't protect them from everything but I never gave up trying because I love them so much. I loved being their mother but it's difficult to endure the pain of their rejection when the narc weaponizes them against me as his flying monkeys. I am determined to step forward one day at a time to heal my brain and body and break free from this narc trauma bond and finally be happy with who I am and love myself for this last chapter of my earthly life. I want to be healed so l can help others who are also stuck in a trauma bond with a covert narc. I want to rid myself of any anger about the past and live in the moment. I want to build and enjoy healthy relationships with healthy people and be able to recognize and walk away from unhealthy abusive connections.
Thank you for posting 🌹
This is an amazing podcast!
I am thrilled to learn this information for transformation!
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Yes I have experienced that, never was able to put it into words 😅😵💫🤯🥴
Hi Paula and Remy 🙌🤗😘 sending love from a Geordie from Newcastle living in Wales! ❤️💜❤️🕊️🙏🌎
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During the time I was with my ex I didn't know about narcissist people...I couldn't understand the emotional chaos and abuse that went on being with this person. When he walked out on me there was no way to have closure for me. It has been a challenge and a learning about narcissist and am amazed at how many people are so self absorbed and self centered. I have come to the conclusion that narcissist people are very evil as you have mentioned And my desire is to stay with an open heart...and in the light and Love,..but. Keeping the Narcs. Out of my life!
Blesses to you and Everyone here and Remy.💜
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Radical acceptance.
I thought I had reached it.
I guess not.
I can't understand how she doesn't care. She's incapable of caring. I was someone who was used. When she was done she discarded me. Throwing me out the window on the highway like a piece of trash. I don't think I'll ever understand it. It hurts so much. To think she only looked at me like some source of supply. Never loved me. Wow crazy. I know its real but I really can't understand it. I'm so lonely, sad, rejected, and I feel empty inside. Her coldness cuts deep. I pray God will end my misery, my heartbreak.
This is EXACTLY what I am trying to overcome. My reaction to him hasn’t changed but I am going to figure it out.
Clair de Lune is a masterpiece. There are videos with really extended long versions repeating the musical piece.
Hi Community! I'm from Poland and one of the popular post Narc coach reccomends Neurofeedback training. Usually its 7 days and the goal is to train the brain to work on alfa waves. Exactly what Paula said. I will try it soon. They are checking brain waves with electrodes :)
I'm so glad you decided to rerecord this. I tried to watch it thinking it was something I needed to hear. I'm on my 9th cycle of the pattern. I'm trying but small kids and money issues make it very difficult.
Thank you for remaking this video❤
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Thank you Paula❤
Thank you Paula! This video is excellent! Clear and clarifies to my brain exactly what to do to transcend the rumination! I would suggest meditation to your videos because you are an Angel! Thank you so much ❤️🌷
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There in my life, from the beginning, my father, my uncle, my brother, my ex, in work, at this stage, I've excepted there everywhere, but I never intertain them now,I keep them out of my life.
Realize our TRUE SELF. It is not the ego person who is the mind. The true self is ESSENCE. It’s AWARENESS The narcissist is afraid of NO FORM. They think it’s like a black hole or something unknown. But we know what it is. It’s CONSCIOUSNESS and it’s here and now.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️👍⭐️Paula!!!!!!! WOW this is your best yet!!!!!!!!!! And I really enjoy hearing that you have the conversations that can go on while washing up or in the shower etc. It's comforting to know that you are like this too. But you know, the great thing about that is, you can only get YOUR answer, not that of any other person.⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I love taking responsibility of reprogramming my brain.
I used theta to ward of my mother's narcissistic behaviour. Like watching a play
I didnt give into the evil energy as a child.
Now I have spiritual visions & music 24/7.
Love the way you describe how wavelengths transfer into states of mind in our daily lives. It makes it all so much clearer! I have become very good at being aware of my feelings and thought processes as they come, now I will add the wavelengths to it all! ❤
I am grateful I found my way to your series. I haven’t heard anyone else talk about the spiritual aspects of narcissism and the gravitational pull it has. My adult kids’ father is a malignant narcissist and I didn’t even know until my divorce lawyer told me. He told me not to say a word and let him handle my ex. I learned a lot watching him.
Sadly, my son is 35 and has become so much like his father that it is shocking at times. His father is in late stage alcoholism after a long and successful career in the music industry. Once again (maybe the 10th time in two years) our son is going to “rescue” his father by maybe detoxing him again. Every time this happens my son’s mental health dramatically deteriorates further.
After the obvious lies my son told me Friday night and the near spiritual crisis I had this weekend, I am considering how I am going to go no contact with my son. I NEVER thought I could or would do that. He is my son!!! Today I realized I will either go grey rock if necessary and no contact if possible OR continue volunteering for his abuse and it could kill me.
As a mother it is difficult to face that my son has zero desire to change. I cannot help him.
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I am really sorry to hear of your experience and am available for coaching if that would help..if not and your lawyer would be happy to send their details to me, I’m compiling a recommendations list for survivors assistance…narcscon@gmail.com 🌹
@7;30... I decided- " I am so sick & tired of that darn wheel !!!
Thank you for this leadership in thought. I am grateful for your contributions.🎉
I loved this. Fascinating and extremely helpful. Thank you!! And, yes, I agree with others here. Your energy is gorgeous!
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Thank you so much Paula…I am learning so much and feel that I am so much stronger within myself, no longer being dragged down and made to feel inferior. Luckily I have a loving husband with lots of support.. but when the narcissist you are deal with is your sister, it is really hard. I will continue to listen to you and Clair De Lune is a real favourite of mine..God Bless..🤗
You too 🙏🌹
I thank God for you. Your channel has been so informative. Thank you for paying the way forward. I pray that you allow God to continue to use you. Thank you ❤
Thank you for your prayers 🌹
Education is everything..😉ty for your work💜
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One of my favorite to get my mind in a good place is Tangerine Dream/ Canyon Dreams. It is an old album but it always takes my mind to a beautiful canyon. Thanks Paula ❤
⭐️Omg⭐️Paula, I doooooooo thissss all the time, the conversation that's just with me. And I have to be so careful! With it. It's verrrrrrrry BUSY!!
Thanks for handing me the key Paula!
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Claire de Lune is one of my favorite pieces of music to meditate to💝
I absolutely talk to myself as my best friend. I don’t say anything to myself I wouldn’t say to someone I love.
I like that too, one of my favourites is A Lark Ascendíng 🥰🕊☺️ I also love Anne van Schothorst, a harpist 🥰☺️
Right now I’m trying to rid the flying monkeys. They have just perpetuated the trauma right now. I will have to cut ties with them as well.
The flying monkeys made it very difficult for me to heal. Once I cut them off energetically, everything changed dramatically. ❤
It's tough, and not uncommon ,when after the divorce your own children become the flying monkeys of your x.
I left to protect them and they went back in even deeper 🙏
Paula, this was so great!
Thank you for being you!
You're appreciated always.
❤🎉🙏❤🧡💛💚💙💜
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Listeing right now. Thanks.
The act as if it's already a happening thing method really worked for me, excellent video. I'm on the other side of the crazy now and I love it. Thank you 🙏 Paula love from Socorro NM 🤠.
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Thank you so much for your podcast! God bless you and your family 🙏🤗❤
Thanks and to you also 🙋♀️🙏
This podcast is amazing and thank you. The brain phases explanation is great. I play alpha music when sleeping thanks to you. Just to help others out, I did Neuro linguistic programming that removed negative emotions and limiting beliefs. All the best to amyone who had to endure or is enduring narcasist abuse. You will win. 😊
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I have experienced that sate and yes it is the most amazing space/place to be .....phenomenal yes !!! I had been meditating an hour or so, twice a day and listening to Dana Winner
" One moment in time "; I experienced out of this world state , and yes it felt like one with all and I needed no one and was complete on my own.
I am on a healing pathway listening to and playing my own musical instruments.... especially strings and wind; harp, flute etc. It It is an amazing way to produce and share good vibes. All recommended via The Bible. The story of David and King Saul is an excellent example.
Summed up by the fact that David stopped King Saul (certainly a narcissist) from killing him by playing the lyre. Paula you certainly are aware of such living in Ireland. My celtic lyre and one of my harps were made there; also tin whistles.
Thanks very very much for your wise, helpful podcasts. God bless!
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Wonderful video: your description at the beginning resonated so strongly with me and the rest was more helpful than anything else I have come across. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Music that takes me to 'that' place is Geff Buckley or Alison Moyet singing Dido's Lament and the Andante movement from Mozart's Clarinet Concerto. I already support the Soi Dog foundation but will gratefully send money to the Humane Foundation. I am trying to meditate but failing as the rumination and anxiety is all encompassing except for music and early morning bird song out of doors. I cannot leave my husband who I think may be a Narcissist as he is now disabled and has dementia and Alzheimers and I am his only carer. So finally, he has me where he wants me. However, I am determined to free my mind somehow so that he cannot control that.
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In my case everything the Narc hurt me he started quoting Bible verses saying God would not want me to hate anyone. They have a whole bag of tricks to throw the blame on someone when they get it trouble.
Amazing video, thanks Paula. What you said about the rumination being a danger to survival resonated with me, I do feel stuck on the wheel, the covert-narcissist is consuming my thoughts every day. I have noticed I am less 'present' than I was with my family. Their emails chipped away at me this weekend, adding more and more subtle comments each time to provoke a response. I replied in the end to defend myself (in a calm manner), and was accused of having zero empathy! I couldn't concentrate at work this week, I feel on alert all the time and I want it to stop. I want to live my life without this. I have made notes and will definitely try these suggestions. Thank you so much. PS I had to keep rewinding the video around the 17.35 mark as I was just fascinated by Remy repositioning the cushion with his nose before he laid back down (it was in the way). What a sweetheart xx
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I left almost 4 years ago and I still ruminate nonstop. I’m starting to wonder if I’m just addictive but I have heard these evil people put spells on us
@@meowkity1 Sorry you are still struggling. It is interesting, I have asked myself too why I ruminate. I think I see this person as a threat to me and my family (not in a violent way). Just that they want to disrupt our lives, to say "I am here". I feel I am always on alert for when I need to defend us from anything that comes our way from them, which could be anytime.
@@julieibbotson6193 I. Discovered the narc was a child predator so I lived in a state of shock for a couple years. Just can’t get over it. I think it contributes to why I can’t get over it I’m just so shocked by it but it’s non stop every minute which is so strange
Love you so much Paula and Remy, this is one of the most incredibly helpful, hopeful videos I have even seen and it should be mandatory for every human. In addition to helping people see yhe potential for humanity, there would be less narcissistic individuals/converts I feel...thank you soooo much.
You are so welcome!
O M G YESSSSSS PAULA. ....WOW! I entirely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Agree with every word!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much Paula !!!!!!!! Love you. Kisses from Spain.❤❤❤
I’m in this process doing all you said and you are so right thank you so much !!
You are so welcome
All light workers are being challenged at the moment! Love to you and Remy 💓 you've helped me so much x
Light and love to you ❤
Thank you for this pod cast Paula.
I watched the 3 day event last weekend on u tube presented by Oliver Nino... it was a wealth of information and I definitely came away feeling changed from the experience.
I am thriving to reach a more high vibrational level and yes meditation and music are such important tools in changing the low vibration that we were exposed to. ❤
Wonderful!
This! Thank you Paula!
I think this is a wonderful explanation x
Wow, just what I needed to hear! I find this alpha state sound for me is a Catholic choir lol....I found this out by watching Sunday mass at the Vatican. Hearing the choir I could immediately close my eyes and "be here" but on a different level....kinda trippy! Deep baritones gets me there. Wow tho, this is EXACTLY where I am at with a 20 year relationship with a malignant narcissist! 4 kids, thank God I have my own place, and I am trying to break this wheel of misery! I am moved out and yet we are like 5 minutes apart 😔😔 breaking a 20 year trauma bond is where I am at...and thank you for this!!!
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You even suggest music to us... thank you so much for your loving work❤
My pleasure 😊
Thank you for your depth!
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You're absolutely beaming Paula! Look exceptionally well.
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Paula you're RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT. ppl please practice what she says in this!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes!!!!!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉I'm excited all the time, !!!!!! What I'm now !! Saying is, thee ONLY! Man I'd consider! Is, he who comes upto me, persues me, knows what he wants, brings me flowers all the time, ....!!!!!!!! Yes!!
Paula, the detailed content, hopeful/supportive vision and sincere passion you expressed in this so very articulate message/podcast was/is SO very powerful and impactful. I, along with so many others, who have done many other things to heal and release our creative soul, need to now put more focus on meditation to get into a more healing state of mind. THANK YOU. WOW! Needed to hear this on this point of my healing journey. You are such a blessing!🙏🏼💕😃📚
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I think your teachings are wonderful ❤😊
Thank you! 😊
Thank you for your wisdom. Thank you for helping us.
You are so welcome
Regarding your suggestion about exercise: I am an ME/ Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia sufferer. I use a rowing machine. It is ideal because it is sitting down and it's rhythmic therefore calming. I think it is mazing, I can only recommend it for it's healing potential on top of strengthening the core. It also calming at times when I am agitated.
IONA...The Circling Hour puts me in this state! especially the Companion Album in this 2 volume set.
Peace❤️ ua-cam.com/video/FJFcl0WlQjI/v-deo.html&lc=UgxGdrSn8MGx9Ceo7_x4AaABAg&si=wPeUlNpIzezNHU6t
Hi Paula. Love and thank you for giving out the knowledge. The knowledge comes after the relationship for most of us. I wish I would've known what a narcissist was because I didn't know anything until after God helped me escape from the narcissist.