What to do when your man shuts down and won’t communicate
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- Опубліковано 22 сер 2024
- Does your man shut down when you bring up issues or try to work through things?
Do his defensive walls come up while his answers shrink to single words until you give up so he can leave?
Here’s how to avoid this cycle and start the communication process.
And if you really want to totally change the communication dynamics in your relationships forever, the Love & Respect workbook will absolutely do it.
It give both men and women a look into how the other wants to communicate. I’ll put the link below:
amzn.to/3X5a9h3
I think another thing is that women often seem to not understand how much attitude they can put into what they say. They might intend to be nice and caring but if the rest of their day was stressful or been thinking about some heated topic all day they then bring that same emotion into their next conversation. Sometimes it comes off as the woman is attempting to punish the man for random reasons.
One piece of advice i've heard another man give is for women to not say anything when her man gets home. Instead stop whatever she is doing, get up and give him a hug. Then she can greet him. That is to set the mood for affection by showing affection rather than attempting to talk about it to create it.
Sort of comes from the idea of how men and women tend to work out their problems. We do things while women talk about things. So by showing affection she is talking to him in a way that he would naturally be more receptive to. It should also help her emotionally center herself in the moment around that affection and thus prevent emotions from elsewhere leaking into the greeting of him.
Yes how you say something often means more than what’s actually being said and that’s something we all need to try to remember. How many hard spots in life could I have avoided if I would’ve had a different tone and said the same things 😅
❤❤
Most men hate their jobs, having to relive the day is aggravating, if you are getting one word answers we don't want to talk about it, we want to forget it. Don't resent us for this, generally I would much rather hear about your day in minute detail, I would rather hear you talk to me about anything other than the place I can't stand being at or the work that I do at the place I would rather hammer a nail into my hand than go to and deal with the place I despise. For me work is a means to an end, I need money to pay bills. The best part of my day is coming home and spending time with my wife and kids, my drive home is like a computers defrag time as I drive farther away from work the more I compartmentalize and store the information from the day (for a limited time and if in a week or so I don't need information from that day, it gets deleted) I would rather listen to the professor from the Wonder Years describe in tiny detail the process by which paint dries than have to dredge up anything from the day unless it made me really happy, not very often, or really mad, sadly is more frequent than happy, my brain would be happy insta deleting my day as it happens. LMAO
I think you said it best yourself, ‘hate my job, drive home is a defrag time, ect’ that’s what you tell her then and she will know just how much you go through to be able to come home to her and have that peace. Then she’ll likely switch to making your getting home a way to further wash that stress away.
But the key is to remember they ask things like that because they genuinely care and want to know what you’re going through.
The probing questions do make you think, those are good. A key reason distance grows is a loss of trust. If a couple is facing trust issues, they need to be addressed or the probing questions can come across as suspicious.
Yea there definitely has to be a distinction made between distrust and genuine interest. As a default I would try to put my kind to the genuine interest just because women are like that with men. If they’re interested in/in love with you she is going to want to know everything about you.
Thank you David! 🎉❤
But WHY do men start this shut down process in the first place? Generally, usually, not always, blah, blah, blah, it is because the wife has shut down the bedroom first. Very few men want to come home to a cold bed. Most married men know this is true. Not always, blah, blah, blah, but if you're sick and tired of having sex gentlemen then just get married.
I don’t think that’s very accurate and certainly not for all cases. Women are typically reactive in a relationship and go off what the man is putting out. If he is leading and doing stuff to keep the fire burning it will.
As for ending a sex life with marriage, that’s pretty sad and again an effect of the man not keeping her attracted and turned on with him.
Marriage is transacual! Stay single and just Smash and Dash and live your life! Women need Men more than Men need Women!