Thanks for watching this video. Hope you have a great weekend and please stay safe and healthy out there. Here's the link to that newsletter: modernlove.life/newsletter/
1. Hot and cold behavior 2. Positive pullback 3. Ex assumes the worst about you 4. They bring up negative memories out of nowhere 5. They make excuses as to why you two can never be together.
I have found tips in this channel that I haven't found anywhere else...everybody keeps recycling the same things, NC, living the best life etc, here we actually get some solid tips on whether persuading the ex will actually work.
the positive pull back! that makes so much sense, i have been so confused and had never found any explanation that made sense. thank you! she had started reaching out a lot and being the first to reach out for a couple weeks and then suddenly she backed off and i wondered if i had done something wrong
Mine said I deserve better, he was soooo right. He left for a sugar momma younger then us by 6 years. I hope they enjoy this quarantined together. I'm doing much better.
My ex has been posting photos online of memories we made together. It's been a year since we've separated. I think the pandemic is forcing people to sit with themselves and reevaluate their lives
I am experiencing all 5 signs! I am trying to look at it as necessary so i need to be patient. giving support and sometimes hear negative things about me without defending myself. But it is a process i understand and will need to give her time to process this. Sometimes we have great conversations and sometimes it will fall back to weird past memories and how she created a weird version of me. But i try to see beyond that!
wow, my ex showed so many of these signs right before breaking up with me and i didn’t recognize them as signs at that time. We are still broken up only because I moved back to the east coast (he’s on the west coast) following the breakup and he didn’t want to do long distance. But he really tried to find things that were wrong with me/generalize one-off instances to convince himself that breaking up made sense
Thank you for the great video Clay. It reflects what is happening with me.. we had a great interaction back and forth couple of times through chatting but the suddenly he pulled away and not responding ... makes me frustrated...
Ex and I got back together and reunited. Her and I hooked up, the tension release was earth shaking, when she sat on me, then she made plans with me to come to her house and then gosted me for a day or so so I just came up to her house anyway and we spent the whole day together, then we made plans again and they got cancelled and she wouldn't work around and try to see me when she wasn't busy, she kept doing this for days, then finally we had some serious fun plans for her to come to my house at 9 or 10. Fast forward to after 12 and she finally calls me to tell me she went to work with her little brother, and just blew me off completely, I lost my cool a bit because this was like the 4th time in a row she cancelled on me and I felt my nose slowly growing red and into a ball as I slowly transformed into a circus clown pretending that she actually is sorry she had to cancel and it was just a freak incident that she couldn't make it each time she cancelled. I raised my voice cutting her off, telling her she was being disrespectful, waisting my time, that I didn't want to have a phonelationship and that I don't have to put up with this shit. I could hear the sorrow in her voice but I wouldn't let up until she came and saw me. Where I proceeded to blow her mind to make it up to her for acting like a little kid over the phone. We had a lot of fun, but she was quick to leave. She wanted to sleep with me on the phone that night so I let her, then after the morning came she sent me a book and one sentence said "I'm sick and need time to get better my love". I haven't heard from her since, March 20th, she blew off my birthday on the 31st, doesn't answer my phone calls which I've really tried to stop calling her because I don't want to pester her over the stupid phone. I don't know, I get really angry when I think about this sometimes, I am the best option for her, I believe that from the bottom of my heart. I wish I could snap her out of this, it's so disrespectful and it's not loving at all.
“This is why we can’t be together, because you break my boundaries “ Yet when I ask for clarity what they are, so I can respect them, she’s to emotional and can’t name them?? She’s still coming to my coffee shop, last two days gave me sweet smiles and a hello, I just mirrored it back.... some days she can’t even make eye contact... man I’m confused, what do u think?
Hi Wategos Life, when it comes to identifying boundaries is to learn to be aware of what you can and cannot do now that you both are not in a relationship. Maybe unconsciously, the vibe that we send out in the interaction seemed like you both are still a couple that is why she felt that her boundaries are being crossed.
Yup back and forth he is totally confused. Made me confused . Not my problem. I have told him he is hot and cold before . We’re not speaking he moved on .. he’s still the same person though so .. best of luck.
We hadn’t talked in a few days, and then last week she called me out of the blue and we talked for a couple hours until 1am. It went really well, but over a week later nothing and she’s been ignoring me. Thoughts? It seems like she’s trying to push down her feelings and distance herself. What do you think I should do? She said she’s been really depressed and hasn’t been able to eat or sleep. She’s been keeping herself distracted and I’m sure she’s been talking with other guys to stay distracted. What should my move be? Where do you think she’s at?
Hi Clay. Me and my ex have been friends since our breakup a little over a month ago. We’ve been texting everyday. We even met up last week for mini golf and had a good time. She’s even open to meeting up again. She said she doesn’t know if she will give us another try in the future but is not totally closed off to the idea but right now she just wants to be friends. We’ve both been working on ourselves during this time. Where should I go from here?
9 days of NC where he told me he will miss me , have a good life bye and after this NC he messaged and abused the heck out of me saying I m a runaway, he doesn’t love me and that he will make sure he stays unhappy & will inform about his poor state to me forever to torment me. I m so confused like what the heck I just left n he abuses me
I'm sorry to hear about that. Abuses should not be taken lightly. It is important that we are aware of our boundaries because that is a form of respecting our own self and emotions.
What is your advice if I think they're confused but I'm not sure if I'm overthinking it? She last reached out 3 months ago and it was pleasant communication. I've sent positive 2 texts since with no response and kept an eye on SM (sigh it's difficult not to). Should I do anything or wait? Cause obviously my information is based off SM analysis and not from her messaging me recently. The more I wait, the more I'm trying to get myself to let go and move on.
Hi Clay! Last night my ex said he is still attracted to me and gets jealous when other people are intrested in me but he's confused about weather or not he likes me. He says he's willing to give it another go with me once quarantine is over to see if things get better but he says not to get my hopes up to high in case it doesn't work. He says he doesn't want anything serious. What does this mean? Why is he so conflicted?
my ex blocked me a few days ago, we had a positive interaction (romantic teasing, kinda?) while her rebound was busy after a few weeks of her ignoring me. all of a sudden, she went back to ignoring me again. i tried calling her a few times and she blocked me out of the blue. is she maybe confused? her rebound made her block me on every single account she has, and one time she had to block me to hide me from him.
Hi Clay, Me and my ex are in a LDR. We were meeting every three months. The last i met him was in March and then covid came. We were arguing, i was very needy and depressed because i couldn't take the fact that we are uncertain when we would see each other. I eventually broke when he kept pushing/pulling me away. I went to NC the first time and after 3 weeks, he reached out and said that he wanted to work things out. Then he pulled away again... Then again NC second time and he reached out 2 weeks.. this time I didnt talk about the relationship at all.. we were enjoying each other's company and we reminisced good moments till he went on a alert and said it was weird to get into the relationship this fast ( i didnt mention anything) I told him to back out and sort himself. Im exhausted w his confusion. I do love him but i just cant break this barrier that he has placed on our relationship.
I will take the liberty to answer this since no one did. Texting is not the issue, I think that depends on what you put into the defition of texting. If by texting you mean having strong deep conversations with other then yes, many women do fear that, even more than knowing their partner might be sleeping with somebody. There are a few studies (that I am familiar with) that have shown sex differences when it comes to jealousy. I do not currently recall the name of the researchers that conducted the study, but the interesting thing is the results. Women tend to show more jealousy when it comes to their partner developing an emotional connection with somebody, in comparison to if that partner was sleeping with somebody, with no emotional connection. Men however showed the opposite pattern, sex was a bigger motive for jealousy. Now as to why, we cannot exactly know. Some evolutionaly theories suggest females being more concerned with a lasting sex partner (that will take care of the offspring) while males care about their sex partner being only theirs, so they will be able to tell their own offspring apart.
I ended up in a call with my ex after about a month of not speaking, the call was unintentional but it ended up going pretty well. She brought up the breakup but it was nothing to be too excited about. She asked me if she still had me as a friend on Snapchat. I responded jokingly, telling her that I still have her as a friend, but she removed me. She told me that she wanted to send me a picture on it, and that she would add me “tomorrow”. I didn’t exactly get my hopes up, but I’m confused as to why she would tell me that if she didn’t actually plan on doing so. 🤔 It just feels a little off to me.
Sounds like she was testing you see if you would break down and beg her bag. You did the right thing stay strong she left you she needs to earn you back now
TheDac12046 This was a while ago, although since then I’ve been through no contact and very recently gotten back into contact with my ex. Believe it or not the connection is better, however she is still doing things like this. I choose not to react.
I hear ya there my ex hasn't really made any positive connections towards me yet staying hopeful. I think she test me once in awhile she'll post a selfie wearing my shirt she said she returned or a status on her wall I think directed towards me then she'll delete them. I don't react I don't comment or anything like that. I'm sticking to no contact and holding her to her words that she says she never coming back.
She messages me around once per week. Small talk then disappears. I never contact her first. Last time I ended the convo with let me know when you want to get together. Taker care. She responded with a ❤️ and said sounds good. Then this morning she messages me about some show she is watching. Wtf. I sent her something I put on fbook fo me doing an acoustic song. It got a lot of attention. I’m in a local cover band that’s doing well. No response. I’m not chasing. No interest in that. What the he’ll is her deal.
Hello Clay, I feel like I too often comment on your videos but they help me a lot. My ex believes that he sort of likes a girl that has shown interest in him, however he doesn’t tell her that he hangs out with me. Like last night we went on a long drive and just laughed about stuff and teased one another, but then this morning he went dry and monotone on me. I can’t tell if it was the teasing or the positive pullback which you are talking about. He told her that he was going to bed. He says he’s moved on, I wonder if this is true. We live together so it’s also difficult sometimes.
My ex broke up with me a few days ago and i went into nc the next day i got tempted and checked her insta story and she posted that she deleted our convo and is time to forget memories i knew it was supposed to target me and i got hurt badly. After seeing that and after breaking no nc i went into nc again and not checking on her stories anymore. Any idea what does this mean? She told me to let go when she broke up with me
Same situation. After I pleaded and persuading her at first a bit, whenever I interact with her she was kinda hot and cold. Then after sometime told me “we already broke up, let it go, find another girl”
So my separated husband won't say he wants to get back together but he'll be very sweet, enjoy talking to me, hug me, he's even kissed me... then he sees the interactions as us getting too close and he'll get cold... so i have no idea
Coach Clay, my ex broke up with me about 5 months ago, but we remained in contact for practical reasons. I have done the begging and pleading but learned to stop. Now we only do smart contact. Recently, he posted an ad to sell my old car on Facebook Marketplace. The description he put in there was it was his GIRLFRIEND'S old car and that SHE just got a new one hence why it's being sold. My question is, shouldn't it be like EX GIRLFRIEND??? What could this possibly mean? I don't wanna read too much into it. Maybe he was just using it as a selling tactic but then he could just also use any type of description. Like he didn't really need to phrase the selling description that way. And everyone can see it because it's on Facebook Marketplace. I hope you can give me possible explanation re this. I don't know but I actually feel kind of offended too. Does that makes sense? Thanks!!!
Hey Clay, love your videos they’re so helpful! I could use a bit of advice on my situation however. My ex and I broke up about 9 days ago and 5 days after that I called him and seemed to be a really positive interaction and we talked for about an hour. He says the lines of communication are open and that there’s a possibility of getting back together in the future but right now he wants to focus on himself. I’m worrying if I should stay in no contact for awhile and reach out again so we both have some time to heal or if I should make an effort to reach out again this week? Any advice would be really appreciated thank you.
H Bailey, it seems like your ex is at the Riding the Dragon phase. Just focus on building moe positive interactions while being mindful if he needs some space.
My ex girlfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago I don’t want to focus on our relationship I know that it’s over. But I have been watching so many videos on advice to get my ex back. Since she broke with me I went into no contact she messaged me why you ignoring me for a whole week then she messaged me I need you, then a couple days later she messaged me saying she missed me. And just recently she liked an old photo on my Instagram 3 times in the same week. Since then which was 7 days ago she has gone silent and I have not heard anything from her since can anyone help. I don’t know if she’s trying to get my attention by liking my photos someone help?
It sounds like she is, George. She might want to get back together but is embarrassed at your lack of reply. If you do want to get back together, maybe now is a good time to suggest a FaceTime (get off text - it's too hard to interpret). Good luck!
Hi clay me and my ex just started to talk again but she isn’t putting much effort to talk to me idk if she is confused or has moved on. We didn’t talk for 7 months
OldEsoDayS Gaming let her do the work. If she texts you text, if she’s not texting then leave her. Allow your gut feeling to guide you through her actions. Do not be incessant and annoying, be aloof and cool my man.
She's probably emotionally protecting herself. If you're truly interested in getting back together, put some effort in until it's clear to you that she is (or isn't) interested.
2 of my exes are hot and cold their genuinely confused.both are experiencing a positive pullback towards me. I believe 2 have told me white lies. Hmmm maybe they are assuming things about me and experiencing doubts. Yes they are bringing up my past into my face off and on I don't appreciate it. One ex rather be friends and take it day by day. One ex really wants nothing to do with me so we are in no contact. So these 2 exes are confused and scared seems like. How can I get them both to open up to me emotionally?
I have a question so what if you recognize your ex or the person you're dealing with is showing these type of emotions towards you is it ever in any situation possible show them this video or somehow make them see this video to show them how they're acting so that you can just pass all this other stuff that you have to go through why not just show somebody how there acting and hopefully they can change it
I need some advice, me and my ex broke up 1 month ago, she immediately jump into relationship in 3 days, she unfriend me in social media but it didnt in ig, we spoke in ig after two weeks in casual conversation, but i notice something, they move too fast in her current relationship, they started sharing photos about how good they really are together and they even update their profile pics on one another, what does that mean? Is it a rebound? Please i really need some help
@@ClayAndrews our communication is like a one side story.. he just won't leave me alone.. but it's a hot and cold conversation. He's verbally abusive too Thank you for replying to me by the way and good afternoon
Hello clay me and my ex dated for 6 months and it was long distance and it was a good relationship until the end it wasn’t doing so good. We broke up 3 weeks ago and he got into a new relationship like a week or 2 after we broke up I think it’s a rebound I’m not sure tho. We haven’t talked in 8 days and the last time we talked it was an argument he said really hurtful things and I said bad things too because I was hurt and angry then he blocked me. Can I still get him back or at least unblock me and message me?
That may be a challenge, Bunny Boy if he blocked you as he may still have some negative emotions both on what happened on your relationship and the breakup. Give him some time to settle his emotions first. While you focus on healing and working on the Advanced Relational Skills.
My ex called me during no contact to solve me and my friends issue and to ask my mother's health. And now it's been 5 days no call no text. She has unblocked me when she wants tk talk and now she blocked me again. What to expect now?
my ex girlfriend and I broke up, we were in a same sex relationship. she said she loves me so much from the beginning that she wanted us to end up together. But as time flies by, after five years of being together, she said last week that she's not happy with me anymore. she tried to bring back the fire from when we start but she can't. this is the second time that she fall out of love for me. we had issues that we didn't talk and close completely just to end the conversation. I think we lack in communication in that matter. She said she still loves me but not as a lover/partner. I ask her if she will come back when she feels that she love me again, she said that she won't because she wants me to have the liberty and doesn't want to hold me back. says that she doesn't want me to leave but will understand if i would, if I will not be happy of what she can only give. What can I do? she's the only person that I've dream my future with. few days after break up she said that she just miss me and calls me by our endearment
Thanks for watching this video. Hope you have a great weekend and please stay safe and healthy out there. Here's the link to that newsletter: modernlove.life/newsletter/
She’s fearful avoidant and HSP
1. Hot and cold behavior
2. Positive pullback
3. Ex assumes the worst about you
4. They bring up negative memories out of nowhere
5. They make excuses as to why you two can never be together.
I have found tips in this channel that I haven't found anywhere else...everybody keeps recycling the same things, NC, living the best life etc, here we actually get some solid tips on whether persuading the ex will actually work.
Thanks for the compliment @Little Duck. that is truly appreciated. :-)
the positive pull back! that makes so much sense, i have been so confused and had never found any explanation that made sense. thank you! she had started reaching out a lot and being the first to reach out for a couple weeks and then suddenly she backed off and i wondered if i had done something wrong
what did u do about this?
@@troyesivan7069I’m in the same boat. I’m backed off for now as I’m sure she’ll come back around eventually.
Mine said I deserve better, he was soooo right. He left for a sugar momma younger then us by 6 years. I hope they enjoy this quarantined together. I'm doing much better.
My ex has been posting photos online of memories we made together. It's been a year since we've separated. I think the pandemic is forcing people to sit with themselves and reevaluate their lives
@Shell Jenny I appreciate it, but I made up my mind a long time ago and decided to move on. I've never felt more at peace
I am experiencing all 5 signs! I am trying to look at it as necessary so i need to be patient. giving support and sometimes hear negative things about me without defending myself. But it is a process i understand and will need to give her time to process this. Sometimes we have great conversations and sometimes it will fall back to weird past memories and how she created a weird version of me. But i try to see beyond that!
I'm going to something very similar, man. I Hope things work.
how do u respond to her when she brings back the past?
Tricky! I don’t respond at all.. if she keeps bringing that up i’ll just listen only and say i understand
wow, my ex showed so many of these signs right before breaking up with me and i didn’t recognize them as signs at that time. We are still broken up only because I moved back to the east coast (he’s on the west coast) following the breakup and he didn’t want to do long distance. But he really tried to find things that were wrong with me/generalize one-off instances to convince himself that breaking up made sense
She help me too
Thank you for the great video Clay. It reflects what is happening with me.. we had a great interaction back and forth couple of times through chatting but the suddenly he pulled away and not responding ... makes me frustrated...
@Shell Jenny who is this guy and what does he do?
What if he brings up the good memories like we will always have the time we went to Maine ....
Ex and I got back together and reunited. Her and I hooked up, the tension release was earth shaking, when she sat on me, then she made plans with me to come to her house and then gosted me for a day or so so I just came up to her house anyway and we spent the whole day together, then we made plans again and they got cancelled and she wouldn't work around and try to see me when she wasn't busy, she kept doing this for days, then finally we had some serious fun plans for her to come to my house at 9 or 10. Fast forward to after 12 and she finally calls me to tell me she went to work with her little brother, and just blew me off completely, I lost my cool a bit because this was like the 4th time in a row she cancelled on me and I felt my nose slowly growing red and into a ball as I slowly transformed into a circus clown pretending that she actually is sorry she had to cancel and it was just a freak incident that she couldn't make it each time she cancelled. I raised my voice cutting her off, telling her she was being disrespectful, waisting my time, that I didn't want to have a phonelationship and that I don't have to put up with this shit. I could hear the sorrow in her voice but I wouldn't let up until she came and saw me. Where I proceeded to blow her mind to make it up to her for acting like a little kid over the phone. We had a lot of fun, but she was quick to leave. She wanted to sleep with me on the phone that night so I let her, then after the morning came she sent me a book and one sentence said "I'm sick and need time to get better my love". I haven't heard from her since, March 20th, she blew off my birthday on the 31st, doesn't answer my phone calls which I've really tried to stop calling her because I don't want to pester her over the stupid phone. I don't know, I get really angry when I think about this sometimes, I am the best option for her, I believe that from the bottom of my heart. I wish I could snap her out of this, it's so disrespectful and it's not loving at all.
Clay keep doing wat u do best. I'll remember your work always. Thank u
“This is why we can’t be together, because you break my boundaries “
Yet when I ask for clarity what they are, so I can respect them, she’s to emotional and can’t name them??
She’s still coming to my coffee shop, last two days gave me sweet smiles and a hello, I just mirrored it back.... some days she can’t even make eye contact... man I’m confused, what do u think?
Hi Wategos Life, when it comes to identifying boundaries is to learn to be aware of what you can and cannot do now that you both are not in a relationship. Maybe unconsciously, the vibe that we send out in the interaction seemed like you both are still a couple that is why she felt that her boundaries are being crossed.
Yup back and forth he is totally confused. Made me confused . Not my problem. I have told him he is hot and cold before . We’re not speaking he moved on .. he’s still the same person though so .. best of luck.
We hadn’t talked in a few days, and then last week she called me out of the blue and we talked for a couple hours until 1am. It went really well, but over a week later nothing and she’s been ignoring me. Thoughts? It seems like she’s trying to push down her feelings and distance herself. What do you think I should do? She said she’s been really depressed and hasn’t been able to eat or sleep. She’s been keeping herself distracted and I’m sure she’s been talking with other guys to stay distracted. What should my move be? Where do you think she’s at?
Hi Clay. Me and my ex have been friends since our breakup a little over a month ago. We’ve been texting everyday. We even met up last week for mini golf and had a good time. She’s even open to meeting up again. She said she doesn’t know if she will give us another try in the future but is not totally closed off to the idea but right now she just wants to be friends. We’ve both been working on ourselves during this time. Where should I go from here?
9 days of NC where he told me he will miss me , have a good life bye and after this NC he messaged and abused the heck out of me saying I m a runaway, he doesn’t love me and that he will make sure he stays unhappy & will inform about his poor state to me forever to torment me. I m so confused like what the heck I just left n he abuses me
I'm sorry to hear about that. Abuses should not be taken lightly. It is important that we are aware of our boundaries because that is a form of respecting our own self and emotions.
I know of someone powerful ,she had made good records
She helped me too
What is your advice if I think they're confused but I'm not sure if I'm overthinking it? She last reached out 3 months ago and it was pleasant communication. I've sent positive 2 texts since with no response and kept an eye on SM (sigh it's difficult not to). Should I do anything or wait? Cause obviously my information is based off SM analysis and not from her messaging me recently. The more I wait, the more I'm trying to get myself to let go and move on.
Man i like your videos 👍👍👍👍👍👍
Thanks for the compliment, Burton :-)
If you can help that would great. I'm not doing very well
Hi Clay! Last night my ex said he is still attracted to me and gets jealous when other people are intrested in me but he's confused about weather or not he likes me. He says he's willing to give it another go with me once quarantine is over to see if things get better but he says not to get my hopes up to high in case it doesn't work. He says he doesn't want anything serious. What does this mean? Why is he so conflicted?
Cause he wants to be with other people without being constricted to one person
Damn, so this is what exactly happen. I tried to bring positive interactions, but they are just a cluster of baggage.
my ex blocked me a few days ago, we had a positive interaction (romantic teasing, kinda?) while her rebound was busy after a few weeks of her ignoring me. all of a sudden, she went back to ignoring me again. i tried calling her a few times and she blocked me out of the blue. is she maybe confused? her rebound made her block me on every single account she has, and one time she had to block me to hide me from him.
Hi Clay,
Me and my ex are in a LDR. We were meeting every three months. The last i met him was in March and then covid came. We were arguing, i was very needy and depressed because i couldn't take the fact that we are uncertain when we would see each other.
I eventually broke when he kept pushing/pulling me away. I went to NC the first time and after 3 weeks, he reached out and said that he wanted to work things out. Then he pulled away again...
Then again NC second time and he reached out 2 weeks.. this time I didnt talk about the relationship at all.. we were enjoying each other's company and we reminisced good moments till he went on a alert and said it was weird to get into the relationship this fast ( i didnt mention anything)
I told him to back out and sort himself. Im exhausted w his confusion.
I do love him but i just cant break this barrier that he has placed on our relationship.
I know of a lady powerful,she had brake good record
She can really help you
I want to know why do ppl think texting other women is worse than sleeping with other women while in a relationship
I will take the liberty to answer this since no one did.
Texting is not the issue, I think that depends on what you put into the defition of texting. If by texting you mean having strong deep conversations with other then yes, many women do fear that, even more than knowing their partner might be sleeping with somebody.
There are a few studies (that I am familiar with) that have shown sex differences when it comes to jealousy. I do not currently recall the name of the researchers that conducted the study, but the interesting thing is the results. Women tend to show more jealousy when it comes to their partner developing an emotional connection with somebody, in comparison to if that partner was sleeping with somebody, with no emotional connection. Men however showed the opposite pattern, sex was a bigger motive for jealousy.
Now as to why, we cannot exactly know. Some evolutionaly theories suggest females being more concerned with a lasting sex partner (that will take care of the offspring) while males care about their sex partner being only theirs, so they will be able to tell their own offspring apart.
I ended up in a call with my ex after about a month of not speaking, the call was unintentional but it ended up going pretty well. She brought up the breakup but it was nothing to be too excited about.
She asked me if she still had me as a friend on Snapchat. I responded jokingly, telling her that I still have her as a friend, but she removed me. She told me that she wanted to send me a picture on it, and that she would add me “tomorrow”.
I didn’t exactly get my hopes up, but I’m confused as to why she would tell me that if she didn’t actually plan on doing so. 🤔 It just feels a little off to me.
Sounds like she was testing you see if you would break down and beg her bag. You did the right thing stay strong she left you she needs to earn you back now
TheDac12046 This was a while ago, although since then I’ve been through no contact and very recently gotten back into contact with my ex.
Believe it or not the connection is better, however she is still doing things like this. I choose not to react.
I hear ya there my ex hasn't really made any positive connections towards me yet staying hopeful. I think she test me once in awhile she'll post a selfie wearing my shirt she said she returned or a status on her wall I think directed towards me then she'll delete them. I don't react I don't comment or anything like that. I'm sticking to no contact and holding her to her words that she says she never coming back.
TheDac12046 Keep it that way.
@@Fuzzywuzz71 plan on it she broke up with me and hasn't let go completely yet so she'll have to start coming back my way and earn me back
She messages me around once per week. Small talk then disappears. I never contact her first. Last time I ended the convo with let me know when you want to get together. Taker care. She responded with a ❤️ and said sounds good. Then this morning she messages me about some show she is watching. Wtf. I sent her something I put on fbook fo me doing an acoustic song. It got a lot of attention. I’m in a local cover band that’s doing well. No response. I’m not chasing. No interest in that. What the he’ll is her deal.
Sounds like she wants you to pursue her.
Any updates? Lol
Hello Clay, I feel like I too often comment on your videos but they help me a lot. My ex believes that he sort of likes a girl that has shown interest in him, however he doesn’t tell her that he hangs out with me. Like last night we went on a long drive and just laughed about stuff and teased one another, but then this morning he went dry and monotone on me. I can’t tell if it was the teasing or the positive pullback which you are talking about. He told her that he was going to bed. He says he’s moved on, I wonder if this is true. We live together so it’s also difficult sometimes.
My ex broke up with me a few days ago and i went into nc the next day i got tempted and checked her insta story and she posted that she deleted our convo and is time to forget memories i knew it was supposed to target me and i got hurt badly. After seeing that and after breaking no nc i went into nc again and not checking on her stories anymore. Any idea what does this mean? She told me to let go when she broke up with me
Same situation. After I pleaded and persuading her at first a bit, whenever I interact with her she was kinda hot and cold. Then after sometime told me “we already broke up, let it go, find another girl”
@@michaelangelofabro2576 hope your feeling alot better now bro im still struggling today but all is well and im doing better now :D
So my separated husband won't say he wants to get back together but he'll be very sweet, enjoy talking to me, hug me, he's even kissed me... then he sees the interactions as us getting too close and he'll get cold... so i have no idea
HI Liliana, It seems like he is still at the Crisis Point phase. Just continue working on your positive connection and let it grow organically.
I know of someone powerful ,she had made a good record
She helped me restore my joy
Coach Clay, my ex broke up with me about 5 months ago, but we remained in contact for practical reasons. I have done the begging and pleading but learned to stop. Now we only do smart contact. Recently, he posted an ad to sell my old car on Facebook Marketplace. The description he put in there was it was his GIRLFRIEND'S old car and that SHE just got a new one hence why it's being sold. My question is, shouldn't it be like EX GIRLFRIEND??? What could this possibly mean? I don't wanna read too much into it. Maybe he was just using it as a selling tactic but then he could just also use any type of description. Like he didn't really need to phrase the selling description that way. And everyone can see it because it's on Facebook Marketplace. I hope you can give me possible explanation re this. I don't know but I actually feel kind of offended too. Does that makes sense? Thanks!!!
update?
any advice on working through the hot and cold?
Hey Clay, love your videos they’re so helpful! I could use a bit of advice on my situation however. My ex and I broke up about 9 days ago and 5 days after that I called him and seemed to be a really positive interaction and we talked for about an hour. He says the lines of communication are open and that there’s a possibility of getting back together in the future but right now he wants to focus on himself. I’m worrying if I should stay in no contact for awhile and reach out again so we both have some time to heal or if I should make an effort to reach out again this week? Any advice would be really appreciated thank you.
H Bailey, it seems like your ex is at the Riding the Dragon phase. Just focus on building moe positive interactions while being mindful if he needs some space.
Tennis actualy sucks too😊👌 thanks all
My ex girlfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago I don’t want to focus on our relationship I know that it’s over. But I have been watching so many videos on advice to get my ex back. Since she broke with me I went into no contact she messaged me why you ignoring me for a whole week then she messaged me I need you, then a couple days later she messaged me saying she missed me. And just recently she liked an old photo on my Instagram 3 times in the same week. Since then which was 7 days ago she has gone silent and I have not heard anything from her since can anyone help. I don’t know if she’s trying to get my attention by liking my photos someone help?
It sounds like she is, George. She might want to get back together but is embarrassed at your lack of reply. If you do want to get back together, maybe now is a good time to suggest a FaceTime (get off text - it's too hard to interpret). Good luck!
What if they showed ALL these signed and she even mentioned that but I think I messed up and now she is dating which she claims is just a friend..
My ex like that so his confused
When you become mature adult you tend to realise that we all self sadotage our own human relationships actualy
Hence we ppl Play tennis.
😊
Thats so meee🙆♀️🙆♀️🙆♀️
Hi clay me and my ex just started to talk again but she isn’t putting much effort to talk to me idk if she is confused or has moved on. We didn’t talk for 7 months
OldEsoDayS Gaming let her do the work. If she texts you text, if she’s not texting then leave her. Allow your gut feeling to guide you through her actions. Do not be incessant and annoying, be aloof and cool my man.
She's probably emotionally protecting herself. If you're truly interested in getting back together, put some effort in until it's clear to you that she is (or isn't) interested.
2 of my exes are hot and cold their genuinely confused.both are experiencing a positive pullback towards me. I believe 2 have told me white lies. Hmmm maybe they are assuming things about me and experiencing doubts. Yes they are bringing up my past into my face off and on I don't appreciate it. One ex rather be friends and take it day by day. One ex really wants nothing to do with me so we are in no contact. So these 2 exes are confused and scared seems like. How can I get them both to open up to me emotionally?
I know of a lady powerful she can help you
She had helped me not too long now
I have a question so what if you recognize your ex or the person you're dealing with is showing these type of emotions towards you is it ever in any situation possible show them this video or somehow make them see this video to show them how they're acting so that you can just pass all this other stuff that you have to go through why not just show somebody how there acting and hopefully they can change it
I need some advice, me and my ex broke up 1 month ago, she immediately jump into relationship in 3 days, she unfriend me in social media but it didnt in ig, we spoke in ig after two weeks in casual conversation, but i notice something, they move too fast in her current relationship, they started sharing photos about how good they really are together and they even update their profile pics on one another, what does that mean? Is it a rebound? Please i really need some help
HI Amado, with the way you describe the situation, it sounds to me like a rebound relationship.
@@ClayAndrews What should i do? Should i wait?
How about we didn't really break up?
That's what he keep saying....
How was your communication? Have you talked about your individual needs to see if that was being met?
@@ClayAndrews our communication is like a one side story.. he just won't leave me alone.. but it's a hot and cold conversation.
He's verbally abusive too
Thank you for replying to me by the way and good afternoon
Does this still stand if they are with a (possible) rebound?
Jay Coe yes. The rebounds are irrelevant.
Hello clay me and my ex dated for 6 months and it was long distance and it was a good relationship until the end it wasn’t doing so good. We broke up 3 weeks ago and he got into a new relationship like a week or 2 after we broke up I think it’s a rebound I’m not sure tho. We haven’t talked in 8 days and the last time we talked it was an argument he said really hurtful things and I said bad things too because I was hurt and angry then he blocked me. Can I still get him back or at least unblock me and message me?
That may be a challenge, Bunny Boy if he blocked you as he may still have some negative emotions both on what happened on your relationship and the breakup. Give him some time to settle his emotions first. While you focus on healing and working on the Advanced Relational Skills.
Clay Andrews oki thank you!
My ex called me during no contact to solve me and my friends issue and to ask my mother's health. And now it's been 5 days no call no text. She has unblocked me when she wants tk talk and now she blocked me again. What to expect now?
She wants you to b the doormate.focus on yourself and continue no contact,she will be back
Sounds like she's using you when it's convenient for her... I'd try and move on!
What is left in you in this age
my ex girlfriend and I broke up, we were in a same sex relationship. she said she loves me so much from the beginning that she wanted us to end up together. But as time flies by, after five years of being together, she said last week that she's not happy with me anymore. she tried to bring back the fire from when we start but she can't. this is the second time that she fall out of love for me. we had issues that we didn't talk and close completely just to end the conversation. I think we lack in communication in that matter. She said she still loves me but not as a lover/partner. I ask her if she will come back when she feels that she love me again, she said that she won't because she wants me to have the liberty and doesn't want to hold me back. says that she doesn't want me to leave but will understand if i would, if I will not be happy of what she can only give. What can I do? she's the only person that I've dream my future with. few days after break up she said that she just miss me and calls me by our endearment
Sixdegreesof SEPARATION , we are on the same track.
Kuch samjh nahi aaya 😃😃😃
No clay ur confused making videos...
What makes you feel about that, Sunitha? :-)