Honest Reaction to REN - Suicide

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  • Опубліковано 10 чер 2023
  • Honest Reaction to REN - Suicide
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 108

  • @Hexenkind1
    @Hexenkind1 11 місяців тому +12

    Full context and story to this song for everybody to read:
    "Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write.
    Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.
    I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.
    This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.
    Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.
    Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.
    On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.
    Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.
    Joe’s body was never found.
    Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.
    As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.
    My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew.
    Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came."

  • @sicmuvva11
    @sicmuvva11 11 місяців тому +33

    A lot of artists had sent Ren paintings of him, he fed these into AI and this is the result.Just amazing, beautiful,vulnerable what an artist He is.

    • @TheHonestTake
      @TheHonestTake  11 місяців тому +2

      That is incredible

    • @shannonstradford6518
      @shannonstradford6518 11 місяців тому +2

      Oh wow I didn’t know that… how wonderful .. thanks for the info
      Peace ❤

    • @Lanny-io9bi
      @Lanny-io9bi 9 місяців тому +1

      I did not know that and that is awesome! Ren is just one of a kind and came in when everyone needed an artist like him

  • @darthgambo1
    @darthgambo1 11 місяців тому +72

    I’m So Sorry for Your Loss bro.. Thank you for sharing your story.. Being that young that must have been such a hard impact on you.. There’s nothing you could have done.. Amazing Reaction man! Looking forward to more!

  • @StephiesCorner
    @StephiesCorner 11 місяців тому +33

    Ren said he's okay on his Twitch stream. He also wanted to make sure everyone else was okay and to let them know they are not alone. I think Ren is choosing to spread the message and increase awareness about these difficult subjects because as much as we think they are uncommon feelings, they are much more common than we think. Sharing experiences is so cathartic. Not just therapy, that has it's place, but with like minded people. I believe it helps heal.
    I'm sorry about your experience with your cousin. ✌️

  • @sjgkent
    @sjgkent 11 місяців тому +19

    Ren spoke live on Twitch this week and explained that he wrote the end piece in a couple of hours and recorded it a couple of lines at a time without his normal thoroughness. This explains why it was so emotional for him as with each batch written of lines he was straight into the recording booth to lay down the track bit by painful bit.

    • @clarissathompson
      @clarissathompson 11 місяців тому +6

      Ya, it was also reassuring that he let us know that he's doing ok. I'm glad he had Sam and Josh there on the stream with him...that stream went from kinda serious to a melee of completely not serious ridiculousness that we all needed after that heavy song release.

  • @Bundleofsass
    @Bundleofsass 11 місяців тому +64

    I read somewhere that suicide takes your pain away and gives it to the people who love you the most. It’s so true. My mother was very mentally ill and committed suicide after a long battle of trying to get better. Regardless of how heartbroken I will always be, I think you’re right, for some, the fight gets to be too much and once they’ve made their final decision, you can only stop them momentarily not permanently. If they want to die, they will find a way.
    I love that Ren is making us talk about this. There are so many out there that haven’t made it to that place of wanting to die, they just don’t want to hurt anymore. We have to make it so that this can be an open conversation where they can ask for help, and then actually get that help. ❤

    • @TheHonestTake
      @TheHonestTake  11 місяців тому +16

      That’s an amazing piece of wisdom! I’m going to use that if that’s okay? Suicide takes away your pain and gives it to those who love you, Wow! That’s heavy…

    • @Bundleofsass
      @Bundleofsass 11 місяців тому +3

      @@TheHonestTake absolutely! I’m glad to pass along that nugget of wisdom because once you sit and think about what it means, it hits you like a bus.

    • @Vikkigamesbadly
      @Vikkigamesbadly 11 місяців тому +3

      its always hard as the person suffering has their release but the survivors will always suffer the pain of the loss i have stopped someone from ending it all and im glad but it was traumatizing in its on way but i dont regret it she has 2 babies now and is doing well

    • @nebulousreactions
      @nebulousreactions 11 місяців тому +2

      One of my closest friends lost her mother to mental illness and suicide when we were 15. I'm very sorry you experienced the same thing. I doubt it's something you ever get over, but I do wish the best for you in terms of healing, as well as the rest of your family.

  • @denalinde
    @denalinde 11 місяців тому +10

    I’ve been on both sides of the equation & the truth is, sometimes life is too painful. I’m glad I’m still here, but so many others I’ve known have either made a snap decision or had already checked out mentally long ago. I still beat myself up, but I’ve also gotten better at reaching out & checking on others & letting them check on me.
    I feel for both your family & your cousin. That’s so ugly, but shining the light might change someone else’s mind to choose to stay & seek joy however they may find it. It’s been wonderful seeing the huge conversation taking place because of Ren & his music. Thank you for honoring us with your story. 💜🎶

    • @TheHonestTake
      @TheHonestTake  11 місяців тому +1

      Absolutely, the best way to to treat depression is to help others! You are taking the right approach!

  • @vixendixon6943
    @vixendixon6943 11 місяців тому +2

    Peterson reference ❤❤❤..
    Ren is doing with His Music what Peterson has done / is doing, spreading Awareness of our incurable Human Fragility and indomitable Human Strength at the same time in their own unique way.

  • @let_your_weird_light_shine_2.0
    @let_your_weird_light_shine_2.0 11 місяців тому +1

    That's the thing... suicide doesn't erase our pain. It just gives it to the people who love us...

  • @Lou-xq9br
    @Lou-xq9br 11 місяців тому +6

    Beautiful & heartbreaking
    #Ren

  • @MCP920
    @MCP920 11 місяців тому +2

    Sorry for your loss. An important topic. Love Ren made this song. I’ve listened to it many times. Cried every time at the end.

  • @Zinetha
    @Zinetha 11 місяців тому +3

    Ren wrote most of this song years ago, and was planning on releasing it now anyway (he pre-recorded and planned a release schedule for his new music, for the time he's getting treatment in Canada), even though it had always felt incomplete to him. He's been doing a lot of interviews with UA-camrs lately and in couple of those, his friend's death came up. After those conversations, he realized what was missing from this song. He sat in front of a piano and started improvising couple of lines at a time, recording them on the spot. That's what we hear in the end.

  • @sandracole2578
    @sandracole2578 11 місяців тому +1

    Watched Ren's Twitch stream yesterday. Ren spoke about this song and assured everyone he was fine. He has had a couple of mates staying with him and they are all flying back to the UK today to film the 'Money Game Pt 3' video. So he appears to be all good.

  • @sejbomb
    @sejbomb Місяць тому +1

    As a survivor of it, I can say for myself, it was a split decision and all around me was blurred or dulled. I forgot I was even living, not aware of a thing around me, no thoughts of reality and the people I’d leave behind. I don’t know if that’s the same for everyone but that’s how it was for me, I doubt anything would have gotten in my head enough to take any actual effect. 😔

  • @margaretc5679
    @margaretc5679 11 місяців тому +3

    Tears for your cousin and the child you were, having to face the guilt and confusion of death. Thank you for sharing. 💙

  • @philk9227
    @philk9227 11 місяців тому +7

    Thank you for sharing your story Bro. So sorry for your loss. Great reaction. Subscribed and looking forward to more Ren reactions

    • @TheHonestTake
      @TheHonestTake  11 місяців тому

      Of course! Check out my series 1-8 Ive reacted to a lot of his music. Thanks!

    • @philk9227
      @philk9227 11 місяців тому

      @@TheHonestTake Will do! 👍

  • @francesdoll4039
    @francesdoll4039 11 місяців тому +2

    So sorry for your experience. We do need to talk about this stuff. Renegades lead the way.
    Lovely reaction.

  • @Shiroar
    @Shiroar 11 місяців тому +2

    The recently added ending really completed the song. And made it absolutely heart wrenching. Beautiful vulnerability and song. Ren is doing something very important with his art by voicing things we don’t talk about enough. And he is bringing us together as humans that feel empathy and share similar emotions. We relate. We are less alone.

  • @cmcg5788
    @cmcg5788 11 місяців тому +2

    Thanks for the share. My daughter's partner ended his life in February. It's so difficult for everybody in so many ways. At this point, that's all I can say, really. I'm really glad that Ren's calling out and facing the dragon.❤

  • @suedryden1182
    @suedryden1182 11 місяців тому +4

    Thank for sharing your story. ❤ There's no easy answers for the ones left behind!
    Ren is so very special, he is the brightest light in a dark world and he sends a beacon of hope to everyone. A message that there is a second chance for life and not to give up! He climbed out of his dark place and took the world by the throat and he's shaking it and waking it up, making people talk and share their stories! God bless that man!! Love and peace to you. ❤️🙏❤️

  • @guitarmuscle6968
    @guitarmuscle6968 11 місяців тому +10

    Great Reaction as always Sir your Reactions are always thoughtful and insightful, i know it was a long time ago but i'm sorry you had to go through the loss of your cousin at such a young age, keep doing what you are doing your Channel is a good one.

  • @Jason_xofilos
    @Jason_xofilos 11 місяців тому +3

    I am sorry for your loss. Hopefully, you have great memories of your cousin.
    What is amazing is how vulnerable Ren was at when he wrote this and created this video plus currently releasing to it all of us.
    2nd is Ren’s loss of his childhood when he lost his innocence and feeling of immortality. He reminds me of the Maestro Tuomas Holopainen who composed most of Nightwish songs, poetry in his lyrics, and music. One theme Tuomas has is Dead Boy meaning a loss of childhood.
    Ren previous work seems to add meaning and us understand this video. For example, changing face of Ren walking through the cityscape suggests “eternal dancing” between darkness and light in one’s thoughts.
    Finally, while emphasizing the pain Ren’s friend Joe was going through also showing how hurt he was by the choice his friend Joe made along with the guilt of just possibly missing getting to Joe in time to save him or even to say goodbye plus Joe’s body was never found for closure. I am sure Ren has forgiven himself logically and intellectually but it is very much harder emotionally. In other words, the choices one makes affects more than oneself.
    As Aurora has sung ‘Let the River Run’.

  • @music2seeconcertphotograph457
    @music2seeconcertphotograph457 9 місяців тому +1

    I am suffering myself from double depression, chronical depersonalization, anxiety disorder and a chronic pain disorder. Suicide thoughts (but not plans) are a regular part of my life. In 2020 I lost a brother in mind and heart by suicide.
    I never had anyone I could have so much fun with and do stupid / crazy things. That's something I never do but with him it was possible.
    And we shared our dark side, told us about our demons.
    It still hurts as hell and just thinking about that one movement and what came next (he killed himself with a rope) makes me feel miserable and sad and empty. I can feel so much with what Ren describes here.
    This hit so hard. This hit so deep!
    So honest. So true. So brutal. So painful: Emotionally and even physically.
    All the best wishes for you and thanx for sharing your story!

  • @staceyjayneplatt9527
    @staceyjayneplatt9527 3 місяці тому

    Ren is an earth angel 😇🙏 suicide needs to be brought to the table and THANKYOU Ren 🙏🙏 and love your reaction xx

  • @socksandpi1264
    @socksandpi1264 11 місяців тому

    This song gets me. My childhood friend hung himself in his bedroom closet when we were 15, I found him when I went to meet him so we could walk to high school together. My childhood died that morning. Things weren't innocent anymore, everything was different. Friends looked at me differently, his parents no longer wanted to be near me, some people blamed me because I should have known he was suicidal. I tried to take my life about five months later, because I couldn't handle the pressure everyone was throwing on me. Mom saved me, or I would have seen him again.

  • @MySnottyattaC
    @MySnottyattaC 11 місяців тому +1

    Thanks for sharing & thanks for listening to Ren. Hopefully, together, we can talk about it....not being scared to do so! Openness helps us heal.
    Lots of love 💚
    Saludos desde Valencia ✌️

  • @99thsketchythought
    @99thsketchythought 11 місяців тому +3

    "and if you don't you can fuck off" .............subbed

  • @frankensteinfpv
    @frankensteinfpv 11 місяців тому +5

    Great reaction bro and sorry for your loss. Thank you for keeping it real...

  • @rudyb.
    @rudyb. 11 місяців тому +2

    Great reaction Bro! The end of the song tore my heart out as well. Peace.

  • @DandelionCollab
    @DandelionCollab 11 місяців тому

    Thank you for sharing with us.
    Crying is fine. It doesn't mean you haven't processed your feelings. Feeling sad about something like that will hopefully happen for the rest of your life. Punishing yourself with guilt is something it is possible to let go of.
    Love you

  • @heatherwickham7808
    @heatherwickham7808 11 місяців тому

    I e always said after having went through my own trauma with suicide it doesn’t get rid of the hurt it just leaves it here for loved ones to deal with.

  • @mickjuul1977
    @mickjuul1977 11 місяців тому +1

    You can't stop re-thinking what could have been done differently.. And it`s not a choice.. Its just there all the time.. What if.. Great reaction.. Shit i love Ren

  • @alexiaspaedt-mcintosh5311
    @alexiaspaedt-mcintosh5311 11 місяців тому +2

    Such a powerful and heartbreaking song. Thank you for doing this and sharing your story as well.😢

  • @michaelnichols5777
    @michaelnichols5777 11 місяців тому +2

    First time watching one of your reactions bro, you seem to get it👍🏼 subbing now.

  • @MissMeKate
    @MissMeKate 11 місяців тому +1

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I think these conversations are so important, and that Ren, his friend Joe, and all the folks like you who are discussing their experiences will help people choose to stay. Seeing that pain doesn't end, it just gets shared out.

  • @fourcornersofbrighton
    @fourcornersofbrighton 11 місяців тому +1

    Great reaction! This one has been hard for me. I have dealt with depression for most of my life and much of what has kept me here is the realization of how it would hurt those I love. The second half of this song is brutal but it is also a good reminder of how it hurts those left behind.
    Musically, it's another masterpiece! The video is beautiful as well. I think the animation was a great choice for this one. Louis Mardlin is the video editor for Ren's animated type videos and he did a fantastic job.

  • @TobiiRheaStarr
    @TobiiRheaStarr 10 місяців тому

    I’m so sorry for your loss and thank you for opening up. As soon as you said the date I had a lump in my throat. July 3rd is my birthday. My partners Dad committed suicide too. Although they hadn’t spoken for years it was a weird one for him as he hated him but missed him but hated him. 🖤

  • @brendabromley5528
    @brendabromley5528 11 місяців тому

    I feel your pain and I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Best Friend to suicide in 2017 and it haunts me to this day. What could I have done to stop it. Why wasn't I there at the moment he needed me most. There are no words for loss of someone to suicide.

  • @carladicarlo3255
    @carladicarlo3255 11 місяців тому +1

    Man I’m so sorry for what you went through. I hope this song maybe brought a little peace. It doesn’t matter that we logically know we can’t really stop someone. That guilt is still there. Ren’s music has been so cathartic for so many, myself included. In listening to interviews, that’s exactly his intention. Not money or fame. Healing and love and community. Take care.

  • @yilomina2047
    @yilomina2047 11 місяців тому +1

    Thank you for sharing your experience, this was a great reaction

  • @peterveste6976
    @peterveste6976 11 місяців тому

    thank you for sharing your story sending big love from the UK ❤❤

  • @hayley4978
    @hayley4978 8 місяців тому

    I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing. ❤

  • @haynesfield1015
    @haynesfield1015 11 місяців тому

    Wow. Thanks so much for sharing that story with us. Respect

  • @jamesdoherty6558
    @jamesdoherty6558 11 місяців тому +4

    good upload man, thanks

  • @arklilbro
    @arklilbro 11 місяців тому +1

    So sorry for your loss

  • @philhallbrook7008
    @philhallbrook7008 11 місяців тому +2

    Thanks for sharing mate.

  • @sorayah7080
    @sorayah7080 11 місяців тому

    Thank you for sharing your experience. Your cousin dosent sound like she was really old enough to comprehend the damage she would leave behind and you cerainly wernt old enough to know her intentntions. Hinsight is only any good if their were time machines to make use if it.
    I've started to think that maybe all the people I've been seeing feel safe enough to open up and share these things because Ren has shown it so openly in himself, that it will not only raise awarness for the future but also ,I hope, take some of the pain and questioning away from those left to deal with past experiences like yours because it's being brough to light and expressed. Sending best regards from the UK.

  • @t-mack-hv9wk
    @t-mack-hv9wk 11 місяців тому +1

    I absolutely am enthralled with Ren more than any artist ever. This is definitely A work of Art that will affect generations. Nice middle finger to CNN and UA-cam as well!

  • @debrashrider4062
    @debrashrider4062 11 місяців тому +1

    Through my life I have learned when a person has decided to truely commit suicide, they become very content with their decision and those around them rarely have any warning at all.
    Ren is shinning a bright light of awareness to promote healing.
    Bringing this out in the open is a great thing. It needs to be spoken about.

  • @alanmai5656
    @alanmai5656 11 місяців тому +1

    thank you for a good reaction !

  • @stevenspottedbird
    @stevenspottedbird 11 місяців тому

    i just subscribed great reaction

  • @zfgdun
    @zfgdun 11 місяців тому +1

    Oh fuck dude. Unfortunately I've been close to several that self deleted. Nothing like what you described though. I can relate to Ren and there is nothing you can do when they decide it. If I could hug I would. Keep it up. Love ya bro

  • @mldkenny
    @mldkenny 6 місяців тому

    Your story will help others in the same way as Ren's will/has! Great reaction to this tough one.

  • @bethosbornefischer3315
    @bethosbornefischer3315 11 місяців тому

    I'm sorry for your loss. One of the important things about this to remember is that you are right--we can't save people, in that we can't make someone feel a certain way, we can't force someone to see what we see in them. What we can do is offer them the chance to see... and sometimes that is enough to bridge the gap until they can get better, more thorough help.

  • @pink_alligator
    @pink_alligator 11 місяців тому

    There is almost always something people can do, the most common thing that pushes people over the edge is when you can convince yourself that no one will miss you or everyone would be better off without you, but no one is psychic and you can never blame yourself for not knowing when might be your last chance, that's why as suicide prevention you're encouraged not to wait letting someone know you care

    • @pink_alligator
      @pink_alligator 11 місяців тому

      yeah, I am speaking from experience. It's a dark place to be and there's a point where speaking in general terms like you'll hurt everyone you leave behind just fall on deaf ears... bcs you're convinced they're better off, being direct and personal can still work.. until you reach a point where you're not even able to care, you simply can't go on anymore

  • @NightFogFilms
    @NightFogFilms 11 місяців тому

    So sorry for your loss.

  • @sketchtherapy1218
    @sketchtherapy1218 11 місяців тому +3

    You get it, you really get it.

  • @Danishbassist
    @Danishbassist 11 місяців тому +1

    Nice reaction. keep up the good work

  • @alloralou4722
    @alloralou4722 6 місяців тому

    I understand your grief. ❤

  • @reviewandreactionvideoswit7200
    @reviewandreactionvideoswit7200 11 місяців тому +1

    ❤❤❤

  • @donald1379
    @donald1379 7 місяців тому

    👍👍👍👍👍👍thanks

  • @jessicalingo4346
    @jessicalingo4346 11 місяців тому

    Right off the bat i loved how you said i think ive processed it fully but if anyone is going to show me that i havent its going to be ren. I say you 100% may have fully processed it and the memory you have of the person and the times before and after may come up and strike a nerve and just cause it does that doesnt mean you havent possessed it. To me all that means is you still have love for them so be grateful that you can still cry (if you do cry) cause that means you havent lost your love for them. It means your still alive. It means your stronger than those who shut down.

  • @heikebroy8692
    @heikebroy8692 11 місяців тому +2

    ❤❤

  • @NightFogFilms
    @NightFogFilms 11 місяців тому

    Somewhere on the comments page of the Suicide video Ren wrote this but it wasn’t pinned so it can get lost in the comments. This is beautiful and relevant to the song and everyone should read it.
    Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write.
    Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.
    I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.
    This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.
    Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.
    Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.
    On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.
    Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.
    Joe’s body was never found.
    Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.
    As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.
    My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew.
    Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came.
    During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised.

  • @joshuawiedenbeck6944
    @joshuawiedenbeck6944 11 місяців тому

    It seems as if everyone knows someone who has tried or succeeded when it comes to suicide. I had no idea how many people out in the world have been affected by it until I started reading comment sections to this song.
    I have a friend who attempted but was saved by the gun jamming. I was the first person he opened up to about it on a jobsite a day or two later. That was a rough couple of hours just sitting on the floor of a half built house trying to talk him down. I think Ren's most powerful attribute is showing people that they aren't alone in their experiences.

    • @TheHonestTake
      @TheHonestTake  11 місяців тому +1

      Wow! I can’t even imagine that a gun jam. Unreal!

  • @larka742
    @larka742 11 місяців тому +1

    The look from someone that has descided ... is a chilling experience.

    • @TheHonestTake
      @TheHonestTake  11 місяців тому

      It’s seered in my mind but it also has allowed me to spot people suffering, providing some amazing opportunities to talk with strangers and have conversations that may have impacted people in positive ways we don’t fully understand.

  • @adriandospia9452
    @adriandospia9452 11 місяців тому

    ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @Meow-Meow501
    @Meow-Meow501 3 місяці тому

    You should listen to Neon Gravestones by Twenty One Pilots. It’s got a good message for this topic. I’m sorry for your loss.

  • @aprilhammond9699
    @aprilhammond9699 11 місяців тому

    My fiance took his life on my birthday in 2015. He's was in Marines and his best friend was shot in head while on same deployment in 2012.He never got over it! He had been drinking to the point he past out and forgot to call me from Maine where he was building our home on my bday. He called 3 times the next day....... I didnt answer... the next call I got was a day later from a friend who found his body. ALWAYS ANSWER THE CALL

  • @Budini67
    @Budini67 11 місяців тому +1

    CNN? The Corrupted News Network? Nah... they're just a source of material and one liners for late night talk show hosts. GREAT review, fam! 🎶💖😎🙏🏼

  • @alexc.c.4025
    @alexc.c.4025 11 місяців тому

    I feel guilt for not trying hard enough to talk to my cousin when I was asked to reach out to him because he was doing heroin and was in a bad shape. But he was really sD not a heriin junkie. His little brother died playing in a train yard, climbed a train wagon ang got electrocuted and died on the spot. He was 11 or 12 years o ly. His father had died of cancer a year ago or so and my cousin was extremly sad fir all that.

  • @sammyd8860
    @sammyd8860 11 місяців тому +1

    Ren added the last couple of minutes immediately after he had done his recent interview with Knox Hill, in which, for the first time, he really talked openly about the circumstances around Joe's death. It feels like he had kept so much buried inside himself and it came out in the interview, and it felt good to honour Joe properly. Here he talks about his guilt for being too late to save him. This is just being far too tough on himself. I am glad that Joe's story is spreading wider and that people are honouring him but Ren, man, please stop beating yourself up. It was not your fault.
    You asked about Ren. In a recent Twitch he said he is absolutely fine. Seeing the impact of Joe's death on everyone around him has made him determined not to follow the same path.

    • @TheHonestTake
      @TheHonestTake  11 місяців тому

      Love that outlook, glad he’s okay!

  • @fiction-
    @fiction- 4 місяці тому +1

    So you have synesthesia? I do as well and makes some visually beautiful music

  • @LocaButt
    @LocaButt 3 місяці тому

  • @lvandenburg4189
    @lvandenburg4189 8 місяців тому

    This song made me reconsider something aweful. Can't tell you, but I love your honest and open response. Maybe one day I will succeed in the same! Cheers and love, mate! ♥

    • @TheHonestTake
      @TheHonestTake  8 місяців тому

      It takes time my friend! Honesty has allowed me to let go and be at peace with a lot of stuff, best of luck with your journey!

  • @zoodledoodledoo
    @zoodledoodledoo 11 місяців тому

    Sometimes depression is a terminal illness.

  • @craigmitchell604
    @craigmitchell604 11 місяців тому

    I am so sorry.
    It takes a village.
    Welcome.

  • @DanielWeekley-nf7bv
    @DanielWeekley-nf7bv 11 місяців тому +2

    Hey brother not aĺone

  • @stephenpearson3153
    @stephenpearson3153 11 місяців тому

    You so false mate

  • @anthonyainsworth142
    @anthonyainsworth142 11 місяців тому +2

    Thankyou for sharing your story ❤ I could never understand what you went through! Yet at the time & over the year afterwards... yet I imagine it was not easy to deal with, so I'm sorry you went through that & I hope you have moved past it for you!! 👍👊🤍

    • @TheHonestTake
      @TheHonestTake  11 місяців тому +1

      I’ve learned to allow it to be a part of me and accept that it’s okay to remember. Thanks for watching!

  • @pirada74
    @pirada74 11 місяців тому +2

    ❤❤

  • @Sevastra85
    @Sevastra85 11 місяців тому +1

    ❤❤❤