In my experience it doesn't matter what your proof of the lie is, the narcissist will deflect or justify or blame shift or continue to deny. This all happens 100% of the time and there is never any accountablity. The only exception where the narcissist is held to account is in a court of law where there may be real consequences but even then, in their mind it was still not their fault.
Or you happen upon their diary and they cannot deny their written account …I’m not proud but I will never regret reading it because it validated things that I instinctively knew were not as portrayed. I learned many lessons from that relationship; I’ll never push away my intuition, and if ever in a relationship to where I felt suspicious -💯 a sign to end the situation.
Read my comment and my situation about the narcissist lying. There was no room for no blame shifting or anything else. She was cold straight busted , thats why she went silent. I got her. I have not been with her since. So there are situations where they can't weasel out with all there tactics. Signed a Sigma Empath. Ofcourse she tried to devalue me but I went supernova on her and shut her up.
Yes they are great at that it’s almost authentic for them. You’re lying on me smfh! The deflection and word twisting etc etc ! My experience is that when caught off guard and u question them about something u caught them in, they make up the craziest lies if they even give u a reply a lot of times especially if they think you’re on to them they will not answer immediately. They will wait some days later with a thought out bs explaination! And call u crazy and get angry sayin that ur lying on me trying to ruin my reputation etc etc
There have been many. One of the most obvious times happened after we'd spent the weekend apart (as he frequently picked huge fights on a Friday to have his weekend free). He picked me up so we could go grocery shopping together. His phone was connected to his car, and the car's screen displayed a porn title in the Bluetooth audio section. I questioned this. He fumbled with his phone as he frantically tried to close out the tab, insisting that it must have been an ad. I pressed, stating that porn ads don't pop up with clean websites. Long story short, he kept the lie going for an entire week, despite me telling him that my gut was screaming, telling him that I didn't care about the porn but I did very much care about him continuing to lie, standing inches away and gazing into my distraught and bloodshot eyes from the tears I shed. He gaslighted, told me I didn't see what I thought I saw, insisted it was an ad or that he didn't know where it came from, accused me of being the guilty one because I refused to accept his "truth," guilted me for not giving him the benefit of the doubt (something he never gives me, btw), telling me that I need to get over it and move on, telling me he's tired of listening to my bs and that he doesn't need someone who's constantly looking for fights and stressing him more than he already is. On and on he went. I finally sent him a poem, pouring my soul into my words as I explained what this experience had done to me and our relationship. He finally caved and came clean, said he was just embarrassed, told me how badly he felt that he made me cry. When I wanted to discuss more about how my trust for him had been broken through his week's worth of lies, spoken looking directly in my eyes, he immediately went into, what I now know as, a narcissistic rage. That's another story for another time. I was never given the respect nor acceptance that I would need time to rebuild my trust for him, and as he continued to betray me, he maintained the position that I was wrong for not trusting him. To anyone reading this who relates to this or any of these videos, if it's not too late, PLEASE RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK. They will never, EVER change. Don't make the mistakes we've made in believing the seemingly sincere promises and apologies. It's nothing more than continued manipulation. I've been here 6 years and counting, wishing that my children had been fathered by ANYONE else, so that I could free myself. Please, save yourself, and enjoy your life for yourself and all of us who can't get away.
Well said. Thank you. I know exactly what you’re talking about. And even though I can relate it really helps to read someone else’s story so that it hits home even more. It’s so awful to be with someone like this.
@melissalopez9607 It helps ABSOLUTELY but my heart is pounding and my stomach is turning right at this very moment (August 18th 2023) because I just caught ANOTHER lie. God help me. I gotta break away from him 😢
Everything my ex said was a lie .... I didn’t believe a word he said in the end .... let himself down too many times by being caught out because someone had seen him ..... where he wasn’t !!! ..... then he had to admit he was where he said he wasn’t .... many times .... lol at nearly 60 that’s not funny .... so I gave up & threw him out & blocked him .... 5 months no contact = much better
This is the most mind-bending aspect of narcissists to me, my brain can't get a solid grasp on it. I've experienced it my whole life, but it's so illogical.
Caught him cheating via his phone...he said he’d been talking to a female childhood friend he’d told me about. It was all a lie. He told so many lies that time and I called him our on all of them. I woke up...Now I’m narc free. 💗
I run away from these ppl as soon as I identify them , I don’t have the capacity to understand these mind games too crazy and dangerous to stick around .
The danger with trying to make sense of all the nonsense is what you hold in your head has to be fully understood for it to make sense, but all they have to put into your head are a bunch of nonsensical conflicts and mental versions of Chinese Finger Tortures, where the harder you try to escape from them, the more snarled your fingers get in that toy, but for the mental version, it’ll cause a mental overload. So, based on the statement by H.G. Tudor that they’ll rewrite their world to make what they say be their truth, and they can and will rewrite it for each sentence, they only need to consider a single world that makes sense for them, while you’re standing there, trying to integrate all the unknown number of parallel worlds they are using to confuse you.
So many lies, but one that comes to mind. I had facts, undeniable proof he was talking to a girl on a dating site. (Fact, because it was me) I was interacting for days, but my sister was messaging him for me, while I stood in front of him. Ya, it was sneaky -but I had to remove any doubt in his mind thinking it was me. I questioned him Me- What are you doing on your iPad, who are you talking to? Narc- No one. Me- Bullshit Narc- Talking to my friend Lenny Me- really? show me Narc- no, why are you doing this? Don’t you trust me? These are your issues, Candace! (Calls me by my given name when he’s mad or trying to be serious) Me- no, I don’t trust anyone, so don’t go getting all bent up about it. (I guess pity play ?) It Wasn’t me- Denial He said, his ex makes fake profiles in his name. Blame shifting/Triangulation Then came Fury He flew off the bed, his pupils dialed. His blue eyes turned black. (They say the devil doesn’t exist -yeah well, I saw him that day.) He went into a fit of rage and threatened to grab me by the hair, drag me down the steps onto the street. As frightened as I was, I stood my ground. I continued to mock him like the child he is. Trying to get him to admit his lie. I said - I am going to ask you one more time. What were you doing on your iPad and think clearly and think twice before you answer, because you might want to rethink your first response. He walked out of the room I left. A few hours later he texted and asked permission if he could sign on the dating site to deactivate his profile. I told him, no- keep the profile, you’re gonna need it. You want to go behind my back, state that you’re single and be active on a dating site- all while you’re in a committed relationship with me? You picked the wrong girl. Love bombing stage begins
The one where my was asked about her inquiring about a 3day trip to DR around our anniversary. She hesitantly replied via text that she didn’t inquire about a DR trip and said she didn’t know what I was talking about. I gave her more details such as the dates and the cost etc to remove any attempt at back tracking on her initial reply after I showed the evidence of her doing so. After a brief delay in replying, which told me she was thinking hard on how to answer cause she knew I must have some info about it, she finally replied I didn’t and haven’t been to the DR . I said I didn’t ask that I asked about you inquiring about a trip there abs who were u planning to take. Still the sticking with the initial reply. Abs after each repeating of the reply she would always ended with what’s the point, an indication of wanting me to say more to see what or exactly did I know abs how much. After going back and forth I finally sent a screenshot of the trip that was on the internet by a 3rd party of a secured IG page that I’m not friends with her on. She hesitated as I explained that I also had the screenshots of her inquiring about that trip abs asked what would she call that initial reply and what was the need to do so. She had. No more responses after that abs the texting ended from her end . How bout the information that I found online was removed by the 3rd party within tbe 2day waiting period smh. After noticing that I texted her again to call her out on my knowledge of the removal, and also let her know that I already screenshoted it as well as the post showing her asking if that trip was still available etc. no more reply by her for several days . Then out the blue a week later, she said that I may have inquiring about it abs didn’t remember and if I did it was probably for us since it was around our anniversary date. I explained to her that that was bs cause she never mentioned it to me , and further just 3 days after the trip was to be she packed a bag and dissapeared the night before our anniversary of 22 years and didn’t say not one word to me and would not answer my texts or calls worried about her and her whereabouts. All along I knew she had a room at one of the casinos booked for us about 2 months prior - s and she thought I forgot about it. I still bought her a card abs gift card for our anniversary and left it for her if she returned by the time I got home from work the day after our anniversary. With that she made a run to get me a card abs gift card too , only because I had got one for her . She admitted that she wasn’t planning to do so until she saw mine smfh!Heres the kicker after coming home after her stay, she avoided me for days would not have sex with me , and I noticed that she would not get dressed or undressed around me she would wait until I was gone for work to shower etc. she was already sleeping on the couch . I surprised her one day by staying home from work one morning and she was forced to shower hey dressed to go to work. I laid in bed pretending not to be watching, and when she got undressed there was a nice deep scratches on her upper inside thigh and several red marks over her body. I didn’t say anything at that time hard as it was . So I waited a couple days later and we had some drinks and I was able to get her in bed for sex, her guards were down due the the drinking. I watched as she put on a sexy outfit on and watched as she was trying to pull the outfit to cover the deep scratches. I paused an asked her what happened to ur leg as I exposed it looking closely at it was clearly a fingernail impression. Her response was I did that by accident while I was away I asked wheee was you she stated at the hotel . I said how did u do that at the hotel, mind u this is a darn good high price hotel casino. She said to me that I bumped against the table and did it, I said really they have round glass tables there! She then said no it was against a chair in there that had a nail sticking out if it and it scratched me . I said wow at that hotel it was nails sticking out, then said what was u naked ? She stated no I had on pajamas. Calling her out further I said wow the pajamas must have a nice hole in them show them to me , of course she said she didn’t know where they at lol! I then asked her to show me the reservation for the room since she initially said thay she made the reservation a few days ago cause she didn’t want to be in our house on a day that was now sad for her etc . So I pressed her further by telling her to show me the reservation. As she looked thru her emails and eventually showed me a checkout receipt trying to trick me up I said no the reservation. She scurried thru her emails further with me looking wiyh her until some suspect emails started Being visible to me and me questioning what they were abs her finally realizing that the emails for reservation was months ago smh. An then she tried to close her phone before she could I snatched the phone abs tried to go through the suspect emails and texts and all hell broke loose she fought tooth abs nails to get that phone back out of my hands it was like her life flashed before her eyes. I wasn’t able to get into her phone abs now I thank God I couldn’t because I’m sure I would have seen all the dirty deeds she was doing behind my back . But her actions told the story. I asked her to be honest abs tell me who she was with etc etc !!!she denied it abs stuck to her story of Being stuck by a nail lol!! So that what they do lie deny deflect no matter how much proof u have sad people!! After 2 weeks she packed a bag and was in her way out, to her surprise when she got back I had packed all my stuff and escaped that was one year ago!! Unfortunately for me I dknt know about NC, and allowed her to Hoover me back in, didn’t move back in but ket her give me the sob stories lovebimb me for another 7 months smfh ! Same stuff!!! Finally I’m NC for the last 2 months abs plan on staying that way
Good on you for dumping this creep!!! I have a good story for you too. I thought I was dating a guy who divorced 10 years ago. Also, said he owned his own house. I had a feeling he'd never divorced & still owned the marital home with the cheating ex. As always, I was right!!!! 👍 It went a bit like this: Are you really divorced? Yes, of course I am. Where are the divorce papers? Oh... SHE has them. Why does she have them? Oh... Ummm... She did it online. Really? Why don't you have a copy? Ummm.... I dunno. She has it all. Ok, so can you show me the papers? (This was 6 months into our relationship & my bullshit antenna was twitching loudly) Fast forward another 6 months: Can you ask your ex for the papers? Why dont you trust me?? I do, I'd just feel better seeing documents you promised to show me. Are you really divorced? Yes... As far as I know.... AS FAR AS YOU KNOW??? Wtf? Well, you are just paranoid & want to make drama! Why cant you be happy? I am never good enough! ANYWAY... This went on for MONTHS, until finally during Covid quarantine, after weeks of gaslighting, lies & bullshit right in my face.... He admitted he'd never divorced & still jointly owned the house!!! As you can imagine, I wanted to stab him in the face with a kitchen knife, but I dont want to end up in jail for this parasite. However, I did kick him in the balls & dump his piss weak, pathetic arse. Months later, he still thinks he has a chance, sending me gifts. Hahaha! My self love is far greater than any love I had for you. Evil, manipulative CREEP.
Used deflection once I told him to stop a temper tantrum. You lie he said, I am not having a tantrum. Yes you are! No I'm not stop lying! He was using the visual meaning, because he was not on the floor kicking & screaming it was not a tantrum! Therefore I am lying for saying it was, I'm the liar not him at all, what the hell!
Do a video on lying by OMISSION. OMISSION has been the biggest route of lying by my newly discovered narcissist BF. He OMMITS shit, that is how he covets.
The last narc lied about everything and anything such as his messing about with other people behind my back. A woman called for him late at night as I was about to leave for work. I heard him talk to her about the weekend. I walked into the bedroom and opened the door. When I asked him about it he lost it and was yelling his head off to shut me up. I thought he was going to punch me out. He then tried to cover it up by saying they were friends. Yeah right.
This is the worst lie I have ever Heard in my life !!!! He told me his daughter died in his arms but I found out after I discarded him that he wasn’t even there !!! He knew she was dying and didn’t turn up until an hour later with no emotions at all !!! Says it all !!!
Mine says his brother was killed by a drunk driver… .. not very bright because it was easily verified/disputed by his best friend. Totally to manipulate me into feeling sorry for him.
This January my ex husband the narcissist told me to obtain a passport for our son. I informed him through text messages that I couldn’t do it by myself because he needed to be present. Well he never came with me and few months later he accused me of not getting him the passport and because of that he couldn’t take our son on a holiday. I sent him screenshots of the messages from January and he just moved on to something else like it never happened.
@@sdm4783 yes! Unfortunately I have to deal with him because we have children together. I no longer speak to him on the phone because he always tries to manipulate me. We only communicate through text messages which is the best thing ever because he is not very bright.
@@MatthewBreda I am strictly email and we haven't talk in person for a year and a half. I am a reactive person, he can easily derail a conversation then say why are we talking about this because you asked me the question. No, I didn't, he says rising his voice.....well, you know it not good from there. If I stay quiet and do not get drawn in, I am golden. If I respond and rise my voice back, it is stop yelling at me and treating me like a child. He will start it then walk out. I had to learn to respond not react. Just know you are not alone in your experience.
@@georginafronda496 Your child will be proud. You also will be perfect. Idk your sutustion. But I do know that my sig other hss been brainwashed. I cannot have a conversation this leads to any sort of resolution. She admits to no wrong. She doesn't allow attempts to hang out with my son on my days off. The only person that I've ever met that can never admit that they do anything wrong. But always want to point out what you do wrong. Thinks it is normal to be controlling and do whatever the f*** she wants. Justifies the nasty Behavior by simply saying what you are a narcissist. Karma Jesus look, it is all the same depending on your culture. When a person feels and does not care anymore about keeping a family together karma karma Jesus look will take over.
I revealed to my husband my growing suspicions that his 40 year old manipulative and disagreeable daughter might be a narcissist. (I was beginning to see similarities in his behaviour as well , but I kept that to myself). I set some research on the table. I asked him if he would read it over and let me know his thoughts. He was , after all, a psychologist and educator. He should have a valuable perspective on the matter. He said , “Oh I will read it when I get time, maybe later. “ I said We would talk later then. Time passed. When I returned in an hour, I asked if he had had time to peruse the literature. He responded, “Yes, I read it.” “Well?” “She is not like that all the time.” This he spoke over his shoulder as he walked down the hall and disappeared. Never to return to the discussion .... subject closed ..... just like all of the dead ended conversations that I had tried to open, many times before. His lie: She is narcissistic all of the time. He knew it. He studied all of that shit! He knew he is one too. His maneuver: Dismiss me. Refuse to address it. Deny, deny, deny.
I’m loving this journey through your channel - thank you so much. Precious insight and often precious validation for me as an empath who is intelligent but with an added handicap of lack of self-assurance. I’ve often been a big juicy fish ready to be shot in a barrel for narcissists - hell, I’ve even leapt into their plate, already cooked, making sure that the table is beautifully laid first. I would like to say that it’s possible for an empath to gain something positive from a relationship with a narcissist - for me, my experience made me think about what the fuck is wrong with me, realize that the only way ahead is to love yourself first.... so thank you narcissists 💕 Of course, this is still a work in progress, but I’m bright-eyed, peachy-faced and hopeful - contrary to my dark-eyed, prune-faced and moody ex narc 💕
I have a life long history of dealing with narcissist, mother, sister, 2 ex husbands finally I get who's these sad insecure fake people are. I have no more pity left for them. My first ex was always calling me crazy when challenged with is suspected infidelity... Well, as predicted the truth revealed itself as I have warned him, in a long love letter sent to my house. I ask him again, to which he denied, on that response I handed him the truth with the woman's letter. "Time to leave" I said, he said she was crazy too... Aren't we all😂. I filed for divorce. Second ex would always call a third party when he was put on the spot, mainly a pastor to preach to me or his mummy, after being disrespectful and abusive... Incredible. He was a man of God🤥😏 and he could not be judged. 😂 Projection is their truth. Stay safe... Stay narc free.
Good for you! Except in the case of my lying narc hisband, he would throw it the letter back at me and would insist that I wrote the letter myself to frame him! That is just what he accused me of with that instagram post...now that is a real bottom of the barrel narc..
He told me he was going to Canada (a lie) when I asked him about his trip all he could come up with was Canada was cold....nothing about where he went or what he did....Just "Oh it was cold up there."
...So I looked at her and I asked her Me-Were you honest with me the last time we talk? Narc-100%...what?Why everything has to do with you?It's all in your mind... She was really angry with me.Her anger was unexpected.I raised my head looking up and I was wondering what happened.With the corner of my eyes I could understand that she was more curious about what I will say than angry.She was faking her anger.I knew I was played with a way that left no evidence behind.She was waiting for a drama.So I smiled and I said... Me-Ok my bad Narc-What?You're acting like it's my fault... Me-Forget about it Narc-Speak! Me-I have nothing to tell you Narc-You behave like an asshole,this is your last change...speak! Me-You and I, we have nothing to say anymore. She walk away angry.She stood at the bar and while she was drinking her vodka lemonade she was staring me.I could see the anxious stare of a wounded predator.She had no idea but I could understand exactly what she was thinking "What tha fuck did just happened?".
My narc told me I can use his computer so I looked at his bookmarks and I noticed he was on a site called Fractionation Seduction. It had a pic of a beautiful girl in leather handcuffs chains around her neck. The site was about how to manipulate women. The topics were "confuse and mess her up". Enslave her" Reverse psychology" "intense eye contact" "emotional manipulation", etc. I was appalled. When he came home from work I showed him the sick articles and that it was posted on his bookmarks. He lied and said that he didn't know how it got there. He said it was an advertisement that he knew nothing about." I couldn't believe it even with the proof right in front of his face he still denied that it was his. I was so angry that I said " do you think you're that ugly that you have to go on that site to seduce women." he never responded and kept a straight face. I asked him if he would print up the copies and he said he would. He was cool as a cucumber as he printed them up and acted like he didn't care. I save them to remind me of his misogynistic attitudes
Tudor, I can tell when I'm not wanted, and so since you apparently refused to answer any of my questions that I've left for you over the last couple of days , I will go ahead and be moving on. Just wanted to leave you with an idea, you should open a 1-900 line & charge like the psychics do, $8.99 a minute or whatever you see fit to charge but you can probably make a great living at that, especially being since you already have a little bit of fame for yourself going on here. Anyhow, I saw how you offered to take some type of test to see if your viewers are a something-or-other type of being, and you charged $100 for it, this might be a better idea for you because you're talking and making videos anyhow and it's so many dollars a minute, therefore it has a quick return, I used to own a 1-900 line. And I did make quite a bit of money , and I'm sure that you would get a lot of callers. Although you're only one person and would only be able to handle one person at a time instead of having a wide selection of telephone operators collecting that so many dollars a minute time so many callers at a time. But even so you would still make a great bit of money and you also could offer recorded messages to speak for you on certain subjects at a certain whole dollar price. Just wanted to leave you with that. It's been fun, peace I wish you the best oh, I do hope that you find the things that you are convinced you cannot find to live in you one day. Goodbye
He's a narcissist and a psychopath. What's wrong with you that you want to meet him? You must be a narcissistic psychopath too or else you're a masochist who wants to be abused
They totally rewrite history and will over and over again and we get nowhere but emotionally frustrated and maybe worse, leaning who I am and loving who I am and what I offer, even though not acknowledge by them and leaning to ignore them has been life changing for me
This describes the complete avalanche of how this dynamic unfolds with uncanny accuracy. NOTHING good comes from this dynamic - the more I engaged the worse it got. Suddenly, lieutenants I didn't even know existed started making themselves known to me - all the while a smear campaign and other extremely nasty behaviors were thrown at me from angles I didn't even see coming. The lie/s he told were about being in a committed relationship with me and not involved romantically with anyone else - which was all a lie - and when I confronted him he immediately shifted the focus to me - saying that I "must be the one who is guilty otherwise I wouldn't be falsely accusing him of this". I was told this was "a story that I created in my mind". That I "wasn't in reality and needed help" and that I "should go to church". Then he said that he isn't going to take this from me and he will not tolerate being accused of something that he didn't do - and neither would he apologize. After this, he disengaged.... came back and went through the same scenario.... disengaged..... came back and went through the same scenario..... I was discarded more times than I care to admit and I still don't know why I allowed this to go on for as long as it did. Every time he came back he had even less respect for me, argued harder, and discarded me quicker. I didn't know or understand about narcissism at that time and I was really stuck in this cycle. I just didn't understand what it was about me that became so intolerable to him that he found someone else. The truth was that there were always someone else's - I just didn't know it. This discard/re-engage cycle went on for months. One evening I was sitting on my sofa watching a movie alone. In the movie, there is a wife who is married to a government agent who has to stay away from his family on assignment for more than a year. In the movie, you see the wife and their kids in their home living their lives without dad around. (The husband was not a narcissist but the situation made the lightbulb go off in my head). This was before people had cell phones, and the wife would wait by the phone at home for the husband to call each week on the same day and time. At one point he wasn't able to do this for awhile and the wife was stricken with fear, grief, anxiety - you understand. She contacts the agency he works for and his bosses tell her not to worry that they have heard from him and he is fine with no other explanation offered. Although this is good news - this lack of contact was devastating to her and she appeared to suffer many of the same symptoms that one sees from narcissistic abuse - all of which I identified with. Weeks/months went by, and he didn't call or come home. And one day, the wife had reached her limit and decided to change the home phone number. The day came when the husband called - but he got a recorded message that said "The number you have reached is no longer in service.... Please check the number and try again." Later in the movie, when the wife and husband are finally reunited - she gave a very moving monolog about taking her power back when she changed the home phone number. She did it because she anticipated how he would feel and what he would think when he finally got around to calling her but couldn't reach her. She had felt powerless and abandoned. She wanted him to know how she had felt waiting all that time not hearing from him and not being able to reach out to him. This was the moment I decided to do the same thing. This was when I decided to delete his contact information and I changed my phone number completely - and the beginning of my no contact regime. The only difference here is that I wasn't married to him and I have never reunited with him since the day I changed my phone number years ago.
I see this all the time with cops or in the court system. The law will try to reason with narcs. It’s not gonna work 😂. That ship has sailed. When they submit or apologize it’s only bcuz they are out of options..but that’s just another form of manipulation. They don’t feel remorse. They do feel shame, but not for what they do..only for getting caught. 🤷♂️ it’s all a game. Protect yourselves.
True, however (and I want HG to touch on this subject in a video soon), but the narc's are such great actores as we alll know, that often times they are able to work their magic and maniputale the police and legal system in their favor..it has happened to me! It can be done.
This all happened before I discovered HG. Had I known what I know now, things would have been different, but here we are. Might as well share, if only for a bit of entertainment. One of my neighbours is a narc, let's call him N. He's running a smear campaign on one of the other neighbours, let's call him A. All of us share a nice garden behind the building. Now, while we're enjoying the summer weather in our garden, N will sometimes tell us things about A. Things that he has done, things that basically pissed N off. While I hadn't discovered HG yet, I already knew a thing or two about narcissism, and N's vibes already didn't feel right. But at first, I believed what he told about A, thinking he just misinterpreted the whole situation. Somewhere I knew I shouldn't meddle, but my emotional thinking got the better of me, so I went and had a little chat with A, if only just to hear his side of the story. I told him what N told me and, naturally, this pissed him off since half of it was untrue. He also told me his side of the story. We had a BBQ later that week, and at some point in the evening, A confronted N. They looked like they were having some shallow chitchat at first, but when I walked by, N gave me the stinkeye, and I knew what the conversation was about, even though I couldn' t really hear because of all the noise around me. At that point, another neighbour, let' s call him B, asked me to accompany him to get buy cigarettes. Since I wasn't exactly looking forward to being present when things escalated, I accepted, and went along. I confided in B about the whole issue while we went and got those cigarettes, and when we got back, A and N were still talking. Appearantly things hadn't escalated just yet, but the tone of the conversation was already a bit more heated. Then A called my name, and B, with the intention of standing up for me, told A that he should leave me out of it. B had achieved the exact opposite however, I was now involved. A started arguing with B, asking why he thought he needed to meddle, and I told A that it was ok, that I had confided in B and now he was standing up for me. Understanding now where B' s behaviour was coming from, A dropped the argument with B and continued the conversation with N. Now that I was involved anyway, I thought I'd take the chance to see how N would react now that the cat was out of the bag. N apologized. He patted me on the shoulder, assuring me that he wasn't angry with me. A went on to say that N had hurt him, and I took my chance to tell him that I got hurt as well. "I got the feeling that I needed to choose sides, and that is a feeling I'd rather not have, do you understand?" Again, he apologized. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way. And I'm sorry I told you things that weren't entirely... correct." To which I responded: "Apogoly accepted. Don't do it again." N went on to say that I had to understand that it was all subconscious behaviour, but A interrupted him saying: "Well, I hope you'll change." N asked A if he was willing to help him change, and a whole other circle conversation came out of that, which I observed, but chose not to participate in. Eventually, A cut off the conversation and sat down next to one of the other neighbours that was present. Since it was the nearest spot, I also sat down next to him. Eventually we got invited to an after party and, thinking some distraction from the whole issue would do me good, I decided to join. B was invited as well, he said he'd join us later. And so he did. He arrived with ice cubes to put in our drinks, which got passed around jokingly and landed in my hands. After contributing my share of jokes I asked: "So what do I do with this now?" and I was told to put it in the freezer. So off to the kitchen I went, and B followed me. There, B told me he just talked with N, and he said N is actually very angry with me. "I won't EVER do ANYTHING for her anymore!" B quoted, saying N felt betrayed by me. Knowing he' s a narc, I wasn't surprised, but I did tell B that I found it a little odd that at first, N assured me he wasn' t angry, and even apologized for his lies, but now I hear that he actually is angry with me, and that he feels betrayed. So what should I make of that? B told me N would have preferred me coming to him first, to talk about me going to talk with A, and went on to say that N wanted to talk to me about it again in private. "Well, that's not going to happen!" I replied. "I mean, it's ok if he wants to talk, but I'd rather have a third party there." B recommended I'd ask a specific neighbour to mediate in that conversation, who happened to be at the after party as well, so I asked him as soon as I got the chance. I still didn't feel at ease though, so I searched youtube for video's about narcissism that could be helpful. That' s how I stumbled upon HG Tudor. I have been binging his video's ever since, and they have been very helpful. N can forget about having a talk with me in private, I'm going no contact.
Last time I spoke to my narc mother, I asked why she didn't stop my father from belting my older sister up when she was about 13 or 14. She said she couldn't remember and that it couldn't have happened as our father loved us so much. I don't believe for an instant that she couldn't remember as it was pretty traumatic. Anyway she somehow turned the tables onto me and said how as a teenager I had temper tantrums that I took out on her (but she always forgave me). Again an incredible lie, what really happened was that we would be having a conversation and she would suddenly be convinced I said terrible things that I were never said. And then she would hold me in a vice like grip until I was hysterical and almost fainting while she screamed at me. I don't recall what the conversations were about, but it was a way that she had physical control over me and how she could play with my mind.
With all due respect and compassion can you tell me why you would stay with him even one day I say it to with respect I am why do you hate yourself I'm not saying it to be disrespectful how could you stay with somebody that abuses you I'm just trying to comprehend this genuinely from my heart please help me understand
The last 3 or 4 months I caused narc injuries to my ex-GF frequently and she did not bother manipulating anymore she would just straight up punch me in the face until I complied... then she would "lick my wounds" and discard me for a mutual anyway... Other than that the 2 most common lies are to blame your reaction for the lie, that they "did not know how to tell you in fear of your reaction" and the most insidious one is when they admit to endless layers of "lesser evils" that end up making a loop back to the original lie. I was with her for 3 and a half year, I am at 3 months no contact last week. I'm at the edge of a huge cliff not sure wether to plunge, lay there or walk back... It's hard to keep a job. I have emotional meltdowns every 2-3 days or so, there are no job policy that cover for that I'd just be labeled crazy. They love me at work and I do good stuff but I'm just a walking mess, my smile much too big to be real, everything is uncanny. I lie to get days off, I can't really tell them I just stayed on a single chair all day spinning my thought around endlessly, staring at my effing hands... so I come up with good lies, I hate it.
When I first met him he said his name was Harry and he was 48. 2 weeks later he asked me why I kept calling him Harry, his name was Paul! His son also told me he was 51 not 48 about 2 months in... that was just the beginning.. pointless lies graduated into full blown affairs of course!
Love this!!! Made me laugh when calling them Little shits 👏🏻🤣 I’m going to have a the time of my life when I see my narc next 😂👏🏻 I’m just going to film her and keep laughing at her. She’s got no chance of intimidation an if she wigs out I’ll wet myself laughing 😂 thank you 🙏 think your the only Natc I like 👍
So I have been described by my therapist as a dark empath. I tend to have a very strong instinct about people from first meeting them or seeing what they write or even their social media persona. I have been with a mid range narcissist for nearly two years.I have recently decided to call her out on one of her lies-I see through all of them but as my kind doesn’t really get hurt but are better at hurting others through manipulation and knowing how to use a persons emotions against them. Her lie I had electronic and written proof of-I asked 4 times-once via a text which she dismissed, and 3 times face to face-I could see her body language and eyes change their usual methodology and decided to wait a week and then get at her. Previously I have been dismissed or told I was misremembering etc etc etc. I only seek power when it suits me and it’s been fun to twist the screw in on this one. I sent her a message saying I know what has been going on and what had happened-she immediately sent a message back saying I’m really unnerved by this message what is it that you think you know…my response was you should assume that I know everything especially the email from….. and your responses-I have access to all his emails and messages. I eventually emailed her the copy of the email I had-she went ballistic. This immediately resulted in an angry shouting and a crying voice message being sent and that she cannot speak to me for a long time because her privacy has been invaded (despite a very uncharacteristic admission recently that she had been through my paperwork and drawers after me leaving for work some months ago when she stayed at my place) the result has been blocking me, then unblocking me-making her friends list on Facebook hidden-curiously though not changing her Facebook status to single even though I broke up with her because she would not apologise for her lies to my face. I instead changed the relationship status to single. I have now blocked all her ways of contacting me except for Facebook- I have left her able to view everything because I want to hurt her for lying to me. It’s not that she has hurt me it’s because she has insulted my intelligence and thought of me as a fool. We had various things shared-she cancelled her family subscription to apple media/books-is suspect because she thinks that I am spying on her phone-I’m not-I am far more Machiavellian and smarter than that. She didn’t cancel the shared Netflix and Spotify that I pay for so I put the boot in and removed her devices. It has been fun seeing her feeble attempts at manipulating me-trying to get me to pay for her flight to Australia or a new wetsuit-she tried on 3 after losing hers (or did someone take it?) and then put the “perfect one” back on the hanger when I didn’t offer to pay for it saying “I can’t afford it anyway” and she was then in a bad way for the rest of the day. She is a pseudo spiritual narcissist and has a lot of empathic flying monkeys that live in that sphere and I have dropped a bomb into that little arena by sending the results of joint therapy sessions together where the therapist wrote to me telling me that she was likely a covert narcissist and that it probably wouldn’t work-he had no idea of what I am or am capable of and was particularly easy to bend to my will. By putting the right phrases and manipulative questions to him he responded in exactly the way I wanted-which I copied and pasted to a few of her spiritual friends and telling them that I have broken up with her for lying to me. It’s been a fun couple of weeks!!! Only thing I will miss is the sex-she was pretty good in the sack. I may continue doing things to spike her “lovely life” but know that the pain she is feeling now from me blocking her and not communicating is going to horrendous because she didn’t control what happened I did. She usually manages 5 years in a relationship before her pulling the plug and keeps her two main ex’s close by like puppets and uses them when she needs to. Oh the joy !!!! Last time I split up with her and no contact she arrived at my place of work crying and wanting to talk-that was fun to see. What people don’t understand is that some of my kind can create any emotional feeling I can even cry convincingly and my lies don’t get caught out of which there are a great deal many. If you want to be good at lying you have to practice and have a good memory. I would be interested in your feedback Mr Tudor.
The best one ever is when we were just separated after 21 years and his behavior was so bizarre, and so obvious to me. I knew he was married, before I even filed for divorce. Never admitted to that instead tried to reply to the court , actually returning the papers acting as if he didn’t even know who I was!! It truly was pathetic!! So I just proceeded with the divorce and sent him his beautiful beach wedding photo!! No response there!! Hysterically pathetic!! Who was that guy??? Never , ever care. Just 21 years wasted on someone? I never knew.
My low midrange narcissist told me and our pastor that he hadn’t lied in 6+ years... the pastor practically humiliated him over that while the narc sat there and turned white. Looked like he was going to pass out!
It was exexctly as you explained. I could see it and left him, after I realized with what I am dealing with. There was the feeling he is a kind of crazy and I trusted me. At that time I did not know he is a narcissist. Thank you for your eye opening videos. All falls now into place and makes sence. Regards from Germany.
They sure do! They will never admit they were wrong, so they will never admit to a lie. He convinces himself that he is the victim and the one being lied to. So they spin a story where they are innocent. Then they whitewash what truly happened, and there you go. They stick to the new version. There is a story my narc has told me about a previous relationship in which he has daughter. The mother banged his head against a car door in an altercation. He claims for no reason yet his daughter called 911 because she was afraid for her mother. Why would she be afraid for her mother if he was completely innocent.
The Lies were so absurd. They didn't even make sense. Called them out on them and I received a phone call with the narc in a rage. I was immediately blocked on everything and number was changed. In an instant!
Hi HG, I love listening to your evaluations of lesser and mid rangers. I believe my husband's ex is a mid range - see you have taught me much. My husband has been alienated from his daughter for 19 years. His ex had an affair with their Pastor when she was church secretary when this daughter was a baby. She succeeded in gaslighting him for years. She also had an affair with their son's doctor (the son is now deceased). He kept trying to find out what the problem was when he was in the devaluing/discarding phase. They went to counseling but all that happened was she fooled the counselors. There was lots of future faking going on with promises of returns if he only did such and such. She refused intimacies as a means of control. His daughter told him that he was "dead to her and never to contact her" when she was 17 after her Mom had removed her from the home for 2 years under the pretense of abuse, even going so far as to flee to a shelter for battered women. This daughter was I'm sure, terrorized to her very core. My husband kept trying to reach out to his daughter and every time he did there was a nasty threatening phone call or letter from his ex. One letter made vague accusations of molestation so he finally stopped, fearing she would damage his reputation as a teacher. Fast forward 10 years, his ex is on husband #3. He got in contact with the ex's 2nd husband and he also went thru a hellish divorce, protracted and litigious, and found out from him that my husband had been accused of molestation of the daughter and that he was part of a sex ring....??? This guy believed it at the time until she began to destroy his life and even attempted to have him killed. She destroyed his relationship with his brother with lies. They all thought very highly of the ex...imagine she is that good at her craft. So my husband wrote his daughter another letter, very nice reaching out kind, and still no response. So he blew up. All my husband's desire for truth and to refute the filthy accusations of him molesting his daughter boiled over. He also thought it his duty to warn the 3rd husband so he could be 'saved' a similar fate. He wrote letters, with the truth of what happened, to his ex's step son, his ex's 7 brothers, and his daughter in his desperation for her to know the truth since he had no further hopes of ever being restored to her while those lies stood in the way. Well, his plan backfired to say the least. His daughter wrote him for the first time in almost 2 decades saying that she had been in therapy for years trying to make sense of her "forgotten childhood" and the counselors had tried to force her to remember and these memories of supposed molestation emerged which she proceeded to share with her family and others. She said even though they felt real, the memories may not have been real and she deeply apologized if she told lies but would have to maintain silent separation. He then made the mistake of writing to his ex to ask for peace between them as it was hurting their daughter, then sent a gift of a photograph of their son ( the 2nd husband said she left all the photos of the son at his house). He then got a threatening letter from the 3rd husband and his daughter asking him to stop all correspondence. So now he just send his daughter a postcard several times a year, happy birthday, wish you well, hope you're doing well, have a great year, and so forth. That's the gory story, THE END. He feels rather hopeless that his daughter will ever wake up as she is 35 now.
I caught my narc wife in a lie when ive been asking her about a ring that i could not find in our apartment and she always say she didnt see it. Since it was only us living thereat, i didnt believe her. And so i search hi and low in our apartment and lucky me, i found the ring inside a shoe which was still in the box and was kept in her drawer. When i asked about it, of course she made another excuse.
My guy swore he was truthful which was a lie in itself, caught in so many lies. Also contradictions which can be very confusing. I laughed many times because of the contradictions in every other sentence. Made no sense at all. He got really mad if you made it apparent you know he lied, let alone if you called him a liar. I'm glad I don't have to deal with anymore, what a rollercoaster ride to say the least. Thank you for putting out your videos.
My narc started out as an online friend. I post stories and it's common for readers to reach out on social media about the stories. She reached out to me and in the first few minutes, I asked her if she was being abused. From there, she inundated me with photos of wounds, bloody limbs and broken ribs, all attributed to her girlfriend whom I never knew their identity. I begged her to go to the police and so she did, weaving this months long drawn out tale of how they wouldn't help her, no one believes her, and so she would put herself in danger to record and trap her unmitigated monster of an SO. This resulted in her being put in the hospital with brain damage but she was finally free. My instincts told me something about this was wrong so I challenged her. The guilt she heaped onto me for wanting her to get out, for suggesting she would lie about something so serious, and then being like everyone else and failing to believe her, was crippling. I went quiet for a time but then hoovered myself, ignoring my instincts. From there, she used all of that to constantly be in the hospital with migraines, mini strokes, anxiety, insomnia, sleep walking, and how she would never trust or fall in love ever again, even as she was in love with me. This was all my fault. AND I'd abandoned her in her greatest moment of need but she forgave me, at least until she'd bring it up. Introduce her best friend, Jess. They're in Greece, helping Jess mend a broken heart from a failed engagement. We're texting constantly, flirting, sometimes begging me to "cross lines idc," "be selfish," "take advantage of me." I wouldn't, not until she used playlists to love bomb and trauma bond me. Through this experience, I've not only learned what she is but what I am. I have BPD, for which I'm now being treated, but this internal problem was not only something she recognized to target me but it means it took next to nothing for her to manipulate me. I accept that I let her now that I know. I tried to leave the relationship several times but kept hoovering myself only to be punished. I was triangulated against other supply sources, her best friend, kept in a constant state of self-flaggelation, guilt, and terror over her illnesses. Her lies about her life grew more and more fantastic until I was discarded and I finally discovered that Jess is her wife. They were on their honeymoon in Greece. All the stories about the failed man fiance, the abuse, the ex, her illnesses, broken bones and wounds, so many needless lies that came crumbling down. This last time I hoovered myself after discard, I was aware, giving her every opportunity to see the damage she was doing to me and her wife, giving her every opportunity to tell the truth but she only dug in and piled more punishment and lies and guilt onto me. I was already mentally ill, already suicidal, and she knew all of that from the start but still did it. So, after a week, knowing she'd never be honest, I softly confronted her for the lie of who Jess is. You see, there was an article about their move in 2020, a big picture of Jess only that wasn't her name. She wasn't straight. She moved from the same place my narc did at the same time. She worked at her "partner's" old school, the same place my narc went. Her response was, "one day I'll explain my sad little life to you but for now I can't." As if I hadn't just caught her lying about someone's identity. So, I posted a wedding photo from Facebook, her wife on their wedding day, and she finally crashed. "I'm sorry. I'm the worst," "I'm begging you to not ruin me," "it's more complicated than this and I can explain." I had to ask if she was married four times before she stopped deflecting and answered straight. She admitted that the abuse wasn't as bad, that nothing ever was, but it was abusive, scary, hard situation, and this "stupid fantasy" with me made it all "copeable." She had the audacity to say, "I'm honestly sorry for taking advantage and using you," and "you're a great person. I'm sorry for ruining that." I explained that she gaslit me to the point of suicide, made my needs nothing, convinced me I was an abusive monster. Her response to that was, "that wasn't my intention." Her wife knows and doesn't care. There's no way to explain just how insidious, senseless, and damaging this experience was or how bad a trauma bond is, especially for someone who has experienced untreated, sustained childhood abuse. Now, I'm getting better. I forgive her and myself. I pity her for being so sick and immature and unchanging. And I truly pity her wife, her IPPS, because I lost my 20's with another narc. It's all so sad. She has since been thought-fueling on my suffering and trying to manipulate me in small ways to get more. She let me know indirectly that she doesn't care, that she knows what she is and what she's doing and done. There are others suffering her but I'm GOSO. As soon as I sell my house, I'm changing my number, going unlisted, deleting all email accounts she's aware of, and if she ever contacts me again, I'll simply report it to the police. I wouldn't be able to see her manipulation without channels like HG's and my therapist. Her attempts at control and manipulation make me smirk now. I'm no longer infatuated or trapped in my emotional thinking. I look on it with astonishment at how silly it was of me to see it any other way.
Absolutely amazing hg because that is exactly what happens they switch to another manipulation word salad...someone who uses word salad is a mid range narcissist?
I've been through the ringer off n on almost a decade so one time I covered the bases with my questions so that she didn't have some type of plausible denial before letting it be known I had her on audio recording at which point she played victim shocked I would do such a thing and that the fact I left a recording device as being the sole reason to her wrongdoing.....she stood firm on the fact that had I not recorded none of it would have happened....
My caretaker is a narcissist I had moved in here and then 2 months afterwards he became the new caretaker and within a month of his behavior I concluded that he was a narcissist and so I just 2 years now what a sick puppy I even hired a lawyer cuz I'm ready to take the management company to the court because of his stupid what a sick sick it's unbelievable I'm sorry I'm stuttering like crazy here I have more compassion and understanding for crackheads and homeless people genuinely genuinely I will help them in a minute but a narcissist there's there's nothing that can do the difference they neither their tongues cut off I have nightmares over this imbecile but like I said I will help and I have helped homeless crackheads I don't drink I don't smoke I'm a born again Christian I pray for them I leave them to Christ I hook them up with clothing etc etc but narcissist they're they're really sick father God genuinely in Jesus mighty name has kept me out of jail I'm serious because of this dude no I'm not moving it cost me $4,000 to move in here
I asked my husband if he was married or single. He replied that he was married to a beautiful woman. I then asked why his FB profile showed him as "single", and sent him a screenshot of it. Upon receiving the screenshot, he asked what it was. I told him it was his profile. His response: "Maybe you should read it."
My Narcissist that I was married to for 22 years was one of the biggest liars even worse than his father that was a pathological liar, I told my ex when we were going through the discard that every time he opened his mouth 95 lies flew out of it. He was one of the biggest liars I’ve ever met besides his father.
They don’t give a flip that they are not honest or sincere. Ex boyfriend was still living in the same house as ex wife while telling me he was living in his rental house.
My ex husband says i stalked him and invaded his house when I couldn't possibly stalk him once he blocked me everywhere and i didn't know his address. Yesterday he told me HE is the person who initiated our divorce and the most interested person in getting it. My jaw dropped to the ground. I've been trying desperately to get divorced for 3 years and he won't sign it. Process is with my lawyer for a year now and still nothing because not even her can handle his shit. Thankfully I know better now and i didn't even respond to that. Just felt very very sorry for him and puzzled with the thought of weather he knows he is lying or he already lives in an alternative reality.
Several months after I ended the relationship, and he was trying to be 'friends without benefits' (just to show me what a great guy he really was), I asked him about his meeting up with the new IPPS (who replaced me within two weeks) during the total lockdown to go on cycle rides. He said "Well I didn't tell you, because I knew you'd kick off". It blew me away that he couldn't see the flaws in his logic, and that relationships have to have trust and accountability. He told me his new partner wasn't controlling like me and was happy for him to have his own 'friends', but I don't believe anything he says. I said I didn't want to be his friend and I wasn't as accommodating as he says his new partner is, so toodle o, pip pip, as they say. It isn't easy, but it is what it is. I need to move on. Thanks for the vudrus. .very inciteful.
I have learned to not tell him when I find out about a lie. If I do, I will be sorry I did. He goes to defending himself stronly, then accusing me for beeing jealous or something , and twisting everything around. He is very intelligent. He is even a pastor. 🙏 pray.
She was on Facebook live bragging about having all these guys she don’t care about to her friends. Literally said she don’t care about me. And she love another guy but don’t care about him either. She denied it and said she never said it even tho the video still up. Apparently it was just a joke
We went out to a hotel for the weekend ,, he went to go take a shower and his phone kept going off,, when I answered his phone it would hang up!! So that’s when I stated looking into his Facebook and found that he was on a dating site!!! When I confronted him him,,, he wouldn’t say nothing !!! After 35 yrs of marriage!!!🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
The narcissist switched to violence. Pupils engaged fully and then they charged at me like a bull. When I moved, they fell down and then went to stone. They wouldn't talk, wouldn't get up, wouldn't move. Scary stuff. I called for medical aid, the paramedics said they were 100% fine and then the next day the narcissist filed a false restraining order against me. I only share because I want others to hear this really does happen. Be very careful about your conversations with narcissists, they can and often resort to violence and legal abuse when denial and other methods do not allow them the control/power the narcissist demands of itself over others. Take care all!
I must admit a few of his lies were so good that if I didn't have a computer programming background and knew tricks the normal person doesn't to uncover info, I would swear my narc was telling the truth...but it was one of the best lies I ever heard.
@@hgtudor-theultra How did you come to the conclusion I am the narcissist...if I am the "she" you are referring to? Being able to confirm whether one of the lies of the narcs was in fact true or not because I used to work in computer tech support, and went to school for computer programming and web design unbeknownst to this person, does not make me a narc. I have known the malignant narc I speak of for 8 years. For a year I went no contact and after several hoovers over a year's time he pleaded with me to be friends again, and I acquiesced. I didn't trust him but wanted to give him a second chance because I figured after a year perhaps he may have changed though I doubted it and figured I would limit my contact. I had him blocked on everything but Instagram and my phone. I decided after what was likely the love bombing period, that once he started the silent treatments and devaluation that I would simply let him do so and quietly block him on IG and my phone. I live 2,000 plus miles away from him so I didn't have to worry about retaliation. After a lengthy silent treatment in which I never tried to contact him like I usually do, he became alarmed. He tried contacting via phone but I had blocked him, so he tried contacting me via IG. I had stopped checking IG for a while, so by the time I did get back in touch with him, it was a week after he messaged me on IG. He had unfollowed me and changed the name on his IG account. He gave this really good lie about why he did so. He wanted me to answer his request to refriend him on IG and explain why I hadn't answered his message. I didn't believe his lie even though it was good,, so I spent a day trying to figure out how I could prove it was a lie. I got some help from some computer folks and I was able to prove to myself he was lying. I told him I thought he might be lying but wasn't about to explain how I knew. He responded that he was not...dug his heels in and said he was going to commodeer the conversation and get us back on track. And that was that... I didn't respond back. This occurred 7 months ago. He has absolutely no way to contact me this time....so I have NOT heard or seen him in 7 months. I had viewed your channel and countless others on empaths, BPD, narcissism (Sam Vaknin), and ASPD (which he was diagnosed with I believe after his wife took him to court for domestic abuse which I learned during my background check of him...he told me at one point he had been diagnosed with ASPD). I probably watched 25 or more channels on YT dedicated to the subjects mentioned above over the past 4 - 5 years. In addition to all this I did extensive research online, Quora, Psychology Today, and the DSM IV (that I own from college when I studied abnormal psychology). My father is a narc and for years I was an overachieving people pleaser trying to get my father's approval and slowly after dealing with a few narcs, dealt with my super empathic side. Your super nova video explained what happened to me with this person and it scared me. I don't like my shadow side coming out. After much soul searching, and dealing with my own childhood traumas, I know what I am.
Hello Paula, UA-cam had a glitch my reply was actually towards somebody stating that Meghan Markle was a borderline, no idea how it came to be on this thread, so no, I am not stating you are a narcissist!
@@hgtudor-theultra Thanks for the clarification. I want to also commend you on your Meghan Markle pt 2 video because it really highlighted the ways in which she may be a narcissist. I have heard others comment that she was but they never substantiated their claims with any evidence. In addition, I loved your series on empaths as it was the first time someone clarified the various types. I was a bit confused how when dealing with certain narcs I would go into narcissistic sociopath/psychopath mode once pushed to my limit. Though this happens on the rarest of occasions, I feel subconsciously I am always planning for such contingencies. I could not reconcile these two opposing dichotomies within me other than to see myself in characters like Will Graham from Hannibal series, which for the sake of art is the uber super empath or contagion empath.
my ex Narcissist and i literally live three minutes from eachother. At the beginning of our relationship he was triangulating me with his ex.... Of course i had no idea at the time the levels or depths of Narcisism. Anyway i had just gotten a new car and i pulled into a the gas station we both frequent and him and his ex were sitting outside on the bench right in front of the store together. As soon as he realized it was me he stood up and she walked in the opposite direction he stood behind a pillar of the building literally were five feet apart from each other and I walked past him and just laughed and went inside the store got what I needed to get and walked back outside to my car he behaved as if he hadn't seen me at all and he wasn't there with anyone and denied the entire thing until I brought it up a month and a half later and said "this is going to make or break us, she was with you that day i pulled up wasn't she?" He put on a good show and cried his crocodile tears and said she had been threatening to kill herself he didn't expect to see me in that instance & had no idea how to explain the situation so he played dumb. Like an idiot i believed him. And felt pity for him.
HG I have a question that I know only you can answer. Why would a narcissist tell me something they did but leave out the full situation. When they had no need to do so? It is baffling me.
My ex, not sure if he's a narc but behaves like one, would make up things about me, accuse me of those things and then call me a liar when I contradicted him. Usually he would add a lot of embellishments to stories I had told him about myself. It was crazy making behavior.
One of the first lies served by latest narc was about his job. When I met him he said he was a graphic designer & art director. In fact, that’s what he used to do. Years ago. Strangely he never stayed more than 2 years in a company... I wonder why 🤔 So reality is he lives from social help. He always complains (middle midranger ?). About EVERYTHING & ALL THE TIME. And everybody is stupid, no one can do their job properly and if he is in this situation it’s because of bad luck & a lack of recognition of his missunderstood talents and intelligence 😏
So my narc partner has a 2nd girlfriend. I found out by reading their whatsapp conversation, after he tried to hide her calling him. I then confronted him and recalled many many details of their conversation, also the part that made clear they had beem intimate. yet he kept denying, told me she used to be the girlfriend of one of his friends and he would never ever sleep with her. 2 weeks later I read more of their conversation after I caught him calling her this time. He casually told me that she called him. When I confronted him with how he messaged her that I, his girlfriend, am just temporary and he only loves her... he lashed out to me about me reading his messages. Full rage. We did not talk about it any more. And life went on, he continues his double life and I am still here. I still love him. Meanwhile I am learning all there is to learn on this channel and its taking most of the emotional pain away for me. Until I am able to walk off or he discards me. Until then, I consider it my narcisissm masterclass...
He said he wanted to talk to me multiple times, then never called. I told him he was being confusing and giving mixed signals, by doing this multiple times. Then he goes on to say it only happened once and he explained he changed his mind so that makes it okay! I had an entire conversation saved proving otherwise but don’t even feel like confronting with evidence or arguing over the truth anymore. It’s a waste of time!
When confronted of his cheating his reaction was no I didn’t. N then yes I did!! That’s what you want me to say?! I DID! N then... no i didn’t! Of course I DIDNT!! Plus agro n tantrum n throwing pan of food around house n punching metal door 🤦🏻♀️ Lavly.
Too many lies to mention but his general response was to either blame me ("I had to lie because of how you'd react if I told the truth") or blow his top and shout "YOU'RE ACCUSATIONAL! MY EX-WIFE WAS ACCUSATIONAL TOO!)
Caused a huge flustered, confused, irritable argument whilst on holiday in the early evening. Flounced off out all dolled up leaving us on our own for an entire evening. He did it again a few days later but forgot to take his new phone and only took his old one ..... The day that he first did this act I checked the history and found that hours before the flouncing he'd been looking for a date in every manner possible. I kept my mouth shut for days just so we could get home in one piece. 5 mins from home and the put downs and abuse started again. After getting out off the car I couldn't hold back said my bit and walked off .... he had nothing to say and really didn't care anyway and if I had of pursued it he would just use that as fuel to put in my place of not mattering. He never had anything to say about anything I thought or knew as fact he made sure he'd asserted his entitlement very early on. Mind boggling when it came to those unspoken rules and expectancies for me. I think for me the hardest part to get my head around even after years of working all this out is how can anybody be oblivious about what they do to someone but can clearly see it if its done to them? Sorry if I've said all this before
You just explain everything that I didn’t understand but was happening. I would call her out and she would not even acknowledge I said anything and hang up. Silent treatment came next. We lived together for a year then she moved back home to another state. So I would just do my thing but always worried. Then after a few days she would call and never acknowledge anything happened. She was something else. She moved back after a year but left again. Now I know it was all about control. She did have control but I’ve been through things she couldn’t even imagine! No could! I would make her brain bleed when she lived with me because she couldn’t gain control through argument, I would only want resolution through truth but we just went in a circular argument but I would never give up. My will is stronger then her lies and manipulations. I guess that’s why we’re not together and she was cheating. It’s ok I win because I can’t be broken and I never give up. It’s called courage! That’s what it takes to truly love. It’s hurts but the hurt is worth the risk. Loves a gamble you win some you lose some. Broke mother fuckers ain’t got the money to play with! My bank account is endless so I’ll raise you love every time. Your broke ass can’t even limp in the blind. That’s the way I see it. Narcissists can I watch from the side while real players inside the game yeah and I mean he’s gonna win that million dollar prize when you ain’t got nothing to play with you ain’t even got a card narcissist play pretend like Barbie dolls with blank cards while I always have an ace up my sleeve. For real I have a tattoo of an ace peeking out of my tattooed sleeve! That’s because I’m a player and I play to win.
You talk like a book ~ Peter Griffen Your voice is seriously soothing... I can image you saying.. “No one would have believed, in the last years of the nineteenth century, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space. ~ Jeff Wayne’s War of the worlds
My narc ex boyfriend texted me and said I know you don't want to hear this but I'm so sorry about what happened between us because I could always talk to you because you are such a great listener. I met him because he wanted to tell me the hell he has been going through in the last 5 months.( Keep in mind that I am testifying against him. He lost his job over calling a woman nasty names at work and other things. He is trying to get his job back) When we met he was admitting that he was a bad son, bad father to his son who OD and died and treated women bad. He future faked me about a year ago telling me he needed space because he was depressed after he was fired. 3 weeks later I caught him with another woman who he had been triangulating me with for 3 months. I brought that lie up and he said what is the date that I told you I needed space? I told him and then I had a picture of him and her at his birthday party. He said oh okay But I just met her that night. She is a friend of my granddaughters mother. We just had coffee once after that. She then called me and said her daughter and boyfriend kicked her out and she had no where to go so what could I do. I had to let her stay with me because I'm a nice guy. We just fell in love. Then of course he switched the conversation to his up coming hearing. Begging me not to testify because he's changed and really loved that job. (I think he only admitted to me that he was a bad person to convince me he changed). I told him that I was telling the truth because my reputation and integrity means everything to me. We left, the next day he wanted me to come over and have sex with him. I said no. The next day he called me and told me he was having problems with his sugar and he couldn't work because he was stressed. He said the only way I can help his health problems if I tell him I'm not going to testify. I told him that I was not going to lie for him. I believe that when I caught him in lies he minimized, blame shifted and justified his actions. H.G any response you can give me will be appreciated. Thank you so much for your videos. He was diagnosed as aspd with Narcissist features.
I've been disengaged many times and all of them the narc has told me that his cellphone was stolen or that "somehow" he'd lost my number hahahaha. The funny thing is that he's had the same exact cellphone since I met him.
there were many events in mine and my brothers child hood that at the time I thought was the same in every household, my mother dislocated her thumb hitting my brother over the head and she hit me hard on my wrist with the hoover nozzle, then I got whipped with my house riding crop across the legs that happened a lot, I was cheeky to my dad and he starting kicking me in the ribs and picked me up by my throat and threw me on the chair I had marks around my neck where my necklace had dug in, and to many more things to mention, I'm 57 now and I am starting to think they were both narcissists, my mother had an affair for years and my dad slept with prostitutes, when I met my boyfriend who I moved in with I told my mum we were getting engaged and she said never get married and never have children and that has always stuck in my mind, there's been times in the past that I've bought things up and she conveniently can't remember anything, I thought growing up that this was all normal I went on th marry a narcassist and stayed for 14 years it was awful but I finally got out, the strange thing is I seem to attract and be attracted to these type of people so I often think there's something wrong with me!
Narcissists lie even when they have no need to. That is the sign of a seriously disturbed individual.
Lol hell yea
Pathological liar, they are bad at it too
You are not gettin the point. Its not about need. Its the narcissism that creates the behaviour ... unconsciously for most of them.
@@HueManConsciousness and intently too big themselves up and to manipulate.
Yep they often lie when the truth would better serve them.
In my experience it doesn't matter what your proof of the lie is, the narcissist will deflect or justify or blame shift or continue to deny. This all happens 100% of the time and there is never any accountablity. The only exception where the narcissist is held to account is in a court of law where there may be real consequences but even then, in their mind it was still not their fault.
Or you happen upon their diary and they cannot deny their written account …I’m not proud but I will never regret reading it because it validated things that I instinctively knew were not as portrayed. I learned many lessons from that relationship; I’ll never push away my intuition, and if ever in a relationship to where I felt suspicious -💯 a sign to end the situation.
Read my comment and my situation about the narcissist lying. There was no room for no blame shifting or anything else. She was cold straight busted , thats why she went silent. I got her. I have not been with her since. So there are situations where they can't weasel out with all there tactics. Signed a Sigma Empath. Ofcourse she tried to devalue me but I went supernova on her and shut her up.
That was the hardest thing for me to accept, when I first began learning from you - that they BELIEVE their lies.
Worse is when the narcissist accuses their victim of lying.
Exactly. My situation my whole life.
Yupp same
Yes they are great at that it’s almost authentic for them. You’re lying on me smfh! The deflection and word twisting etc etc ! My experience is that when caught off guard and u question them about something u caught them in, they make up the craziest lies if they even give u a reply a lot of times especially if they think you’re on to them they will not answer immediately. They will wait some days later with a thought out bs explaination! And call u crazy and get angry sayin that ur lying on me trying to ruin my reputation etc etc
Ikr..my narcmother/sister
Right...💯💯
There have been many. One of the most obvious times happened after we'd spent the weekend apart (as he frequently picked huge fights on a Friday to have his weekend free). He picked me up so we could go grocery shopping together. His phone was connected to his car, and the car's screen displayed a porn title in the Bluetooth audio section. I questioned this. He fumbled with his phone as he frantically tried to close out the tab, insisting that it must have been an ad. I pressed, stating that porn ads don't pop up with clean websites. Long story short, he kept the lie going for an entire week, despite me telling him that my gut was screaming, telling him that I didn't care about the porn but I did very much care about him continuing to lie, standing inches away and gazing into my distraught and bloodshot eyes from the tears I shed. He gaslighted, told me I didn't see what I thought I saw, insisted it was an ad or that he didn't know where it came from, accused me of being the guilty one because I refused to accept his "truth," guilted me for not giving him the benefit of the doubt (something he never gives me, btw), telling me that I need to get over it and move on, telling me he's tired of listening to my bs and that he doesn't need someone who's constantly looking for fights and stressing him more than he already is. On and on he went. I finally sent him a poem, pouring my soul into my words as I explained what this experience had done to me and our relationship. He finally caved and came clean, said he was just embarrassed, told me how badly he felt that he made me cry. When I wanted to discuss more about how my trust for him had been broken through his week's worth of lies, spoken looking directly in my eyes, he immediately went into, what I now know as, a narcissistic rage. That's another story for another time. I was never given the respect nor acceptance that I would need time to rebuild my trust for him, and as he continued to betray me, he maintained the position that I was wrong for not trusting him.
To anyone reading this who relates to this or any of these videos, if it's not too late, PLEASE RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK. They will never, EVER change. Don't make the mistakes we've made in believing the seemingly sincere promises and apologies. It's nothing more than continued manipulation. I've been here 6 years and counting, wishing that my children had been fathered by ANYONE else, so that I could free myself. Please, save yourself, and enjoy your life for yourself and all of us who can't get away.
Well said. Thank you. I know exactly what you’re talking about. And even though I can relate it really helps to read someone else’s story so that it hits home even more. It’s so awful to be with someone like this.
@melissalopez9607 It helps ABSOLUTELY but my heart is pounding and my stomach is turning right at this very moment (August 18th 2023) because I just caught ANOTHER lie.
God help me.
I gotta break away from him 😢
Those are the one to whom we say ‘if their lips are moving, they’re lying’.
Everything my ex said was a lie .... I didn’t believe a word he said in the end .... let himself down too many times by being caught out because someone had seen him ..... where he wasn’t !!! ..... then he had to admit he was where he said he wasn’t .... many times .... lol at nearly 60 that’s not funny .... so I gave up & threw him out & blocked him .... 5 months no contact = much better
I put a like to ur comment because it is so right I no there is a hit song out do not no who sang it
Meghan train or just looked it up who sings that song
This is the most mind-bending aspect of narcissists to me, my brain can't get a solid grasp on it. I've experienced it my whole life, but it's so illogical.
Caught him cheating via his phone...he said he’d been talking to a female childhood friend he’d told me about. It was all a lie. He told so many lies that time and I called him our on all of them. I woke up...Now I’m narc free. 💗
I run away from these ppl as soon as I identify them , I don’t have the capacity to understand these mind games too crazy and dangerous to stick around .
Me too!...they are exhausting and an utter waste of time.
The danger with trying to make sense of all the nonsense is what you hold in your head has to be fully understood for it to make sense, but all they have to put into your head are a bunch of nonsensical conflicts and mental versions of Chinese Finger Tortures, where the harder you try to escape from them, the more snarled your fingers get in that toy, but for the mental version, it’ll cause a mental overload. So, based on the statement by H.G. Tudor that they’ll rewrite their world to make what they say be their truth, and they can and will rewrite it for each sentence, they only need to consider a single world that makes sense for them, while you’re standing there, trying to integrate all the unknown number of parallel worlds they are using to confuse you.
So many lies, but one that comes to mind.
I had facts, undeniable proof he was talking to a girl on a dating site.
(Fact, because it was me)
I was interacting for days, but my sister was messaging him for me, while I stood in front of him.
Ya, it was sneaky -but I had to remove any doubt in his mind thinking it was me.
I questioned him
Me- What are you doing on your iPad, who are you talking to?
Narc- No one.
Me- Bullshit
Narc- Talking to my friend Lenny
Me- really? show me
Narc- no, why are you doing this? Don’t you trust me? These are your issues, Candace!
(Calls me by my given name when he’s mad or trying to be serious)
Me- no, I don’t trust anyone, so don’t go getting all bent up about it.
(I guess pity play ?)
It Wasn’t me- Denial
He said, his ex makes fake profiles in his name.
Blame shifting/Triangulation
Then came Fury
He flew off the bed, his pupils dialed. His blue eyes turned black.
(They say the devil doesn’t exist -yeah well, I saw him that day.)
He went into a fit of rage and threatened to grab me by the hair, drag me down the steps onto the street.
As frightened as I was, I stood my ground.
I continued to mock him like the child he is. Trying to get him to admit his lie.
I said - I am going to ask you one more time.
What were you doing on your iPad and think clearly and think twice before you answer, because you might want to rethink your first response.
He walked out of the room
I left.
A few hours later he texted and asked permission if he could sign on the dating site to deactivate his profile.
I told him, no- keep the profile, you’re gonna need it.
You want to go behind my back, state that you’re single and be active on a dating site- all while you’re in a committed relationship with me?
You picked the wrong girl.
Love bombing stage begins
I hope you duped him forever . What a clown 🤦♀️
The one where my was asked about her inquiring about a 3day trip to DR around our anniversary. She hesitantly replied via text that she didn’t inquire about a DR trip and said she didn’t know what I was talking about. I gave her more details such as the dates and the cost etc to remove any attempt at back tracking on her initial reply after I showed the evidence of her doing so. After a brief delay in replying, which told me she was thinking hard on how to answer cause she knew I must have some info about it, she finally replied I didn’t and haven’t been to the DR . I said I didn’t ask that I asked about you inquiring about a trip there abs who were u planning to take. Still the sticking with the initial reply. Abs after each repeating of the reply she would always ended with what’s the point, an indication of wanting me to say more to see what or exactly did I know abs how much. After going back and forth I finally sent a screenshot of the trip that was on the internet by a 3rd party of a secured IG page that I’m not friends with her on. She hesitated as I explained that I also had the screenshots of her inquiring about that trip abs asked what would she call that initial reply and what was the need to do so. She had. No more responses after that abs the texting ended from her end . How bout the information that I found online was removed by the 3rd party within tbe 2day waiting period smh. After noticing that I texted her again to call her out on my knowledge of the removal, and also let her know that I already screenshoted it as well as the post showing her asking if that trip was still available etc. no more reply by her for several days . Then out the blue a week later, she said that I may have inquiring about it abs didn’t remember and if I did it was probably for us since it was around our anniversary date. I explained to her that that was bs cause she never mentioned it to me , and further just 3 days after the trip was to be she packed a bag and dissapeared the night before our anniversary of 22 years and didn’t say not one word to me and would not answer my texts or calls worried about her and her whereabouts. All along I knew she had a room at one of the casinos booked for us about 2 months prior - s and she thought I forgot about it. I still bought her a card abs gift card for our anniversary and left it for her if she returned by the time I got home from work the day after our anniversary. With that she made a run to get me a card abs gift card too , only because I had got one for her . She admitted that she wasn’t planning to do so until she saw mine smfh!Heres the kicker after coming home after her stay, she avoided me for days would not have sex with me , and I noticed that she would not get dressed or undressed around me she would wait until I was gone for work to shower etc. she was already sleeping on the couch . I surprised her one day by staying home from work one morning and she was forced to shower hey dressed to go to work. I laid in bed pretending not to be watching, and when she got undressed there was a nice deep scratches on her upper inside thigh and several red marks over her body. I didn’t say anything at that time hard as it was . So I waited a couple days later and we had some drinks and I was able to get her in bed for sex, her guards were down due the the drinking. I watched as she put on a sexy outfit on and watched as she was trying to pull the outfit to cover the deep scratches. I paused an asked her what happened to ur leg as I exposed it looking closely at it was clearly a fingernail impression. Her response was I did that by accident while I was away I asked wheee was you she stated at the hotel . I said how did u do that at the hotel, mind u this is a darn good high price hotel casino. She said to me that I bumped against the table and did it, I said really they have round glass tables there! She then said no it was against a chair in there that had a nail sticking out if it and it scratched me . I said wow at that hotel it was nails sticking out, then said what was u naked ? She stated no I had on pajamas. Calling her out further I said wow the pajamas must have a nice hole in them show them to me , of course she said she didn’t know where they at lol! I then asked her to show me the reservation for the room since she initially said thay she made the reservation a few days ago cause she didn’t want to be in our house on a day that was now sad for her etc . So I pressed her further by telling her to show me the reservation. As she looked thru her emails and eventually showed me a checkout receipt trying to trick me up I said no the reservation. She scurried thru her emails further with me looking wiyh her until some suspect emails started Being visible to me and me questioning what they were abs her finally realizing that the emails for reservation was months ago smh. An then she tried to close her phone before she could I snatched the phone abs tried to go through the suspect emails and texts and all hell broke loose she fought tooth abs nails to get that phone back out of my hands it was like her life flashed before her eyes. I wasn’t able to get into her phone abs now I thank God I couldn’t because I’m sure I would have seen all the dirty deeds she was doing behind my back . But her actions told the story. I asked her to be honest abs tell me who she was with etc etc !!!she denied it abs stuck to her story of Being stuck by a nail lol!! So that what they do lie deny deflect no matter how much proof u have sad people!! After 2 weeks she packed a bag and was in her way out, to her surprise when she got back I had packed all my stuff and escaped that was one year ago!! Unfortunately for me I dknt know about NC, and allowed her to Hoover me back in, didn’t move back in but ket her give me the sob stories lovebimb me for another 7 months smfh ! Same stuff!!! Finally I’m NC for the last 2 months abs plan on staying that way
Good on you for dumping this creep!!! I have a good story for you too. I thought I was dating a guy who divorced 10 years ago. Also, said he owned his own house. I had a feeling he'd never divorced & still owned the marital home with the cheating ex. As always, I was right!!!! 👍
It went a bit like this:
Are you really divorced?
Yes, of course I am.
Where are the divorce papers?
Oh... SHE has them.
Why does she have them?
Oh... Ummm... She did it online.
Really? Why don't you have a copy?
Ummm.... I dunno. She has it all.
Ok, so can you show me the papers?
(This was 6 months into our relationship & my bullshit antenna was twitching loudly)
Fast forward another 6 months:
Can you ask your ex for the papers?
Why dont you trust me??
I do, I'd just feel better seeing documents you promised to show me. Are you really divorced?
Yes... As far as I know....
AS FAR AS YOU KNOW??? Wtf?
Well, you are just paranoid & want to make drama! Why cant you be happy? I am never good enough!
ANYWAY... This went on for MONTHS, until finally during Covid quarantine, after weeks of gaslighting, lies & bullshit right in my face.... He admitted he'd never divorced & still jointly owned the house!!! As you can imagine, I wanted to stab him in the face with a kitchen knife, but I dont want to end up in jail for this parasite. However, I did kick him in the balls & dump his piss weak, pathetic arse. Months later, he still thinks he has a chance, sending me gifts. Hahaha! My self love is far greater than any love I had for you. Evil, manipulative CREEP.
Nice set up girl. God bless
Candy Canes that is brilliant !! Good for you! What a creep!
Oh they forget everything they say then try to turn their lies back on you and call you the liar.
Used deflection once I told him to stop a temper tantrum. You lie he said, I am not having a tantrum. Yes you are! No I'm not stop lying! He was using the visual meaning, because he was not on the floor kicking & screaming it was not a tantrum! Therefore I am lying for saying it was, I'm the liar not him at all, what the hell!
The narcissist lying says more about the people who stick around and don't have a problem.
Yea
Amen
That is so true
Word.
Omg yes. That always blows my mind. Probably bc they're narcs!
Do a video on lying by OMISSION. OMISSION has been the biggest route of lying by my newly discovered narcissist BF. He OMMITS shit, that is how he covets.
The last narc lied about everything and anything such as his messing about with other people behind my back. A woman called for him late at night as I was about to leave for work. I heard him talk to her about the weekend. I walked into the bedroom and opened the door. When I asked him about it he lost it and was yelling his head off to shut me up. I thought he was going to punch me out. He then tried to cover it up by saying they were friends. Yeah right.
This is the worst lie I have ever Heard in my life !!!! He told me his daughter died in his arms but I found out after I discarded him that he wasn’t even there !!! He knew she was dying and didn’t turn up until an hour later with no emotions at all !!! Says it all !!!
Mine says his brother was killed by a drunk driver… .. not very bright because it was easily verified/disputed by his best friend. Totally to manipulate me into feeling sorry for him.
This January my ex husband the narcissist told me to obtain a passport for our son. I informed him through text messages that I couldn’t do it by myself because he needed to be present. Well he never came with me and few months later he accused me of not getting him the passport and because of that he couldn’t take our son on a holiday. I sent him screenshots of the messages from January and he just moved on to something else like it never happened.
He is an idiot. Crazy making!
Typical. They do not look at themselves.
@@sdm4783 yes! Unfortunately I have to deal with him because we have children together. I no longer speak to him on the phone because he always tries to manipulate me. We only communicate through text messages which is the best thing ever because he is not very bright.
@@MatthewBreda you also have proof with the text, unlike in a conversation on the phone.
@@MatthewBreda I am strictly email and we haven't talk in person for a year and a half. I am a reactive person, he can easily derail a conversation then say why are we talking about this because you asked me the question. No, I didn't, he says rising his voice.....well, you know it not good from there. If I stay quiet and do not get drawn in, I am golden. If I respond and rise my voice back, it is stop yelling at me and treating me like a child. He will start it then walk out. I had to learn to respond not react. Just know you are not alone in your experience.
I really don't feel anything for him anymore except I don't care
That’s me now am done and have told him am done after 16 years. Sorting out divorce now . Shameful people!!
NOW.. IT DOESN'T HURT TO LAUGH AT HIS FOIBLES..BUT I STILL WANT TO CONFRONT HIM WITH THE TRUTH .WHAT A SUPER EMPATH I AM.
@@georginafronda496 Your child will be proud. You also will be perfect. Idk your sutustion. But I do know that my sig other hss been brainwashed. I cannot have a conversation this leads to any sort of resolution. She admits to no wrong. She doesn't allow attempts to hang out with my son on my days off. The only person that I've ever met that can never admit that they do anything wrong. But always want to point out what you do wrong. Thinks it is normal to be controlling and do whatever the f*** she wants. Justifies the nasty Behavior by simply saying what you are a narcissist. Karma Jesus look, it is all the same depending on your culture. When a person feels and does not care anymore about keeping a family together karma karma Jesus look will take over.
I revealed to my husband my growing suspicions that his 40 year old manipulative and disagreeable daughter might be a narcissist. (I was beginning to see similarities in his behaviour as well , but I kept that to myself). I set some research on the table. I asked him if he would read it over and let me know his thoughts. He was , after all, a psychologist and educator. He should have a valuable perspective on the matter.
He said , “Oh I will read it when I get time, maybe later. “
I said We would talk later then.
Time passed.
When I returned in an hour, I asked if he had had time to peruse the literature.
He responded, “Yes, I read it.”
“Well?”
“She is not like that all the time.”
This he spoke over his shoulder as he walked down the hall and disappeared. Never to return to the discussion .... subject closed ..... just like all of the dead ended conversations that I had tried to open, many times before.
His lie: She is narcissistic all of the time. He knew it. He studied all of that shit! He knew he is one too.
His maneuver: Dismiss me. Refuse to address it. Deny, deny, deny.
I’m loving this journey through your channel - thank you so much. Precious insight and often precious validation for me as an empath who is intelligent but with an added handicap of lack of self-assurance. I’ve often been a big juicy fish ready to be shot in a barrel for narcissists - hell, I’ve even leapt into their plate, already cooked, making sure that the table is beautifully laid first. I would like to say that it’s possible for an empath to gain something positive from a relationship with a narcissist - for me, my experience made me think about what the fuck is wrong with me, realize that the only way ahead is to love yourself first.... so thank you narcissists 💕 Of course, this is still a work in progress, but I’m bright-eyed, peachy-faced and hopeful - contrary to my dark-eyed, prune-faced and moody ex narc 💕
I felt that !
I have a life long history of dealing with narcissist, mother, sister, 2 ex husbands finally I get who's these sad insecure fake people are. I have no more pity left for them.
My first ex was always calling me crazy when challenged with is suspected infidelity... Well, as predicted the truth revealed itself as I have warned him, in a long love letter sent to my house. I ask him again, to which he denied, on that response I handed him the truth with the woman's letter. "Time to leave" I said, he said she was crazy too... Aren't we all😂. I filed for divorce.
Second ex would always call a third party when he was put on the spot, mainly a pastor to preach to me or his mummy, after being disrespectful and abusive... Incredible. He was a man of God🤥😏 and he could not be judged. 😂 Projection is their truth.
Stay safe... Stay narc free.
Maybe you should introspection
Good for you! Except in the case of my lying narc hisband, he would throw it the letter back at me and would insist that I wrote the letter myself to frame him! That is just what he accused me of with that instagram post...now that is a real bottom of the barrel narc..
He told me he was going to Canada (a lie) when I asked him about his trip all he could come up with was Canada was cold....nothing about where he went or what he did....Just "Oh it was cold up there."
Lies. All lies!
...So I looked at her and I asked her
Me-Were you honest with me the last time we talk?
Narc-100%...what?Why everything has to do with you?It's all in your mind...
She was really angry with me.Her anger was unexpected.I raised my head looking up and I was wondering what happened.With the corner of my eyes I could understand that she was more curious about what I will say than angry.She was faking her anger.I knew I was played with a way that left no evidence behind.She was waiting for a drama.So I smiled and I said...
Me-Ok my bad
Narc-What?You're acting like it's my fault...
Me-Forget about it
Narc-Speak!
Me-I have nothing to tell you
Narc-You behave like an asshole,this is your last change...speak!
Me-You and I, we have nothing to say anymore.
She walk away angry.She stood at the bar and while she was drinking her vodka lemonade she was staring me.I could see the anxious stare of a wounded predator.She had no idea but I could understand exactly what she was thinking "What tha fuck did just happened?".
Mine is now obsessed with raves drugs dmt mushrooms weed & coke ... still can’t escape himself tho !!!! ... it’s so sad especially at nearly 60! 🙄🙄
My narc told me I can use his computer so I looked at his bookmarks and I noticed he was on a site called Fractionation Seduction. It had a pic of a beautiful girl in leather handcuffs chains around her neck. The site was about how to manipulate women. The topics were "confuse and mess her up". Enslave her" Reverse psychology" "intense eye contact" "emotional manipulation", etc. I was appalled. When he came home from work I showed him the sick articles and that it was posted on his bookmarks. He lied and said that he didn't know how it got there. He said it was an advertisement that he knew nothing about." I couldn't believe it even with the proof right in front of his face he still denied that it was his. I was so angry that I said " do you think you're that ugly that you have to go on that site to seduce women." he never responded and kept a straight face. I asked him if he would print up the copies and he said he would. He was cool as a cucumber as he printed them up and acted like he didn't care. I save them to remind me of his misogynistic attitudes
I wish I could meet u someday. Best teacher I ever had for what I went through.
Takes one to know one. HG is a Narcissist why would you want to meet another one hun?
Same girl.. to the extreme degree.. he was meat grinder of devastation.
Power of suggestion.
Tudor, I can tell when I'm not wanted, and so since you apparently refused to answer any of my questions that I've left for you over the last couple of days , I will go ahead and be moving on. Just wanted to leave you with an idea, you should open a 1-900 line & charge like the psychics do, $8.99 a minute or whatever you see fit to charge but you can probably make a great living at that, especially being since you already have a little bit of fame for yourself going on here.
Anyhow, I saw how you offered to take some type of test to see if your viewers are a something-or-other type of being, and you charged $100 for it, this might be a better idea for you because you're talking and making videos anyhow and it's so many dollars a minute, therefore it has a quick return, I used to own a 1-900 line. And I did make quite a bit of money , and I'm sure that you would get a lot of callers.
Although you're only one person and would only be able to handle one person at a time instead of having a wide selection of telephone operators collecting that so many dollars a minute time so many callers at a time.
But even so you would still make a great bit of money and you also could offer recorded messages to speak for you on certain subjects at a certain whole dollar price. Just wanted to leave you with that. It's been fun, peace I wish you the best oh, I do hope that you find the things that you are convinced you cannot find to live in you one day. Goodbye
He's a narcissist and a psychopath. What's wrong with you that you want to meet him? You must be a narcissistic psychopath too or else you're a masochist who wants to be abused
Although he does scream bloody murder how he does not lie and cheat while he's lying and cheating
Ha ha that is funny! SO true
They totally rewrite history and will over and over again and we get nowhere but emotionally frustrated and maybe worse, leaning who I am and loving who I am and what I offer, even though not acknowledge by them and leaning to ignore them has been life changing for me
I found a secret phone. He lied, said it's his "backup work phone". With Tinder? Yeah, right. Liar to the end and straight to my face.
Mine lied even when he didn’t need to. He said he doesn’t know why he does it. Lies about everything.
His voice trembled but in a split second he was back to his story telling. He even belief in his own lies.
This describes the complete avalanche of how this dynamic unfolds with uncanny accuracy. NOTHING good comes from this dynamic - the more I engaged the worse it got. Suddenly, lieutenants I didn't even know existed started making themselves known to me - all the while a smear campaign and other extremely nasty behaviors were thrown at me from angles I didn't even see coming.
The lie/s he told were about being in a committed relationship with me and not involved romantically with anyone else - which was all a lie - and when I confronted him he immediately shifted the focus to me - saying that I "must be the one who is guilty otherwise I wouldn't be falsely accusing him of this". I was told this was "a story that I created in my mind". That I "wasn't in reality and needed help" and that I "should go to church".
Then he said that he isn't going to take this from me and he will not tolerate being accused of something that he didn't do - and neither would he apologize. After this, he disengaged.... came back and went through the same scenario.... disengaged..... came back and went through the same scenario..... I was discarded more times than I care to admit and I still don't know why I allowed this to go on for as long as it did.
Every time he came back he had even less respect for me, argued harder, and discarded me quicker. I didn't know or understand about narcissism at that time and I was really stuck in this cycle. I just didn't understand what it was about me that became so intolerable to him that he found someone else. The truth was that there were always someone else's - I just didn't know it.
This discard/re-engage cycle went on for months. One evening I was sitting on my sofa watching a movie alone. In the movie, there is a wife who is married to a government agent who has to stay away from his family on assignment for more than a year.
In the movie, you see the wife and their kids in their home living their lives without dad around. (The husband was not a narcissist but the situation made the lightbulb go off in my head).
This was before people had cell phones, and the wife would wait by the phone at home for the husband to call each week on the same day and time. At one point he wasn't able to do this for awhile and the wife was stricken with fear, grief, anxiety - you understand. She contacts the agency he works for and his bosses tell her not to worry that they have heard from him and he is fine with no other explanation offered. Although this is good news - this lack of contact was devastating to her and she appeared to suffer many of the same symptoms that one sees from narcissistic abuse - all of which I identified with.
Weeks/months went by, and he didn't call or come home. And one day, the wife had reached her limit and decided to change the home phone number. The day came when the husband called - but he got a recorded message that said "The number you have reached is no longer in service.... Please check the number and try again."
Later in the movie, when the wife and husband are finally reunited - she gave a very moving monolog about taking her power back when she changed the home phone number. She did it because she anticipated how he would feel and what he would think when he finally got around to calling her but couldn't reach her. She had felt powerless and abandoned. She wanted him to know how she had felt waiting all that time not hearing from him and not being able to reach out to him.
This was the moment I decided to do the same thing. This was when I decided to delete his contact information and I changed my phone number completely - and the beginning of my no contact regime. The only difference here is that I wasn't married to him and I have never reunited with him since the day I changed my phone number years ago.
I see this all the time with cops or in the court system. The law will try to reason with narcs. It’s not gonna work 😂. That ship has sailed. When they submit or apologize it’s only bcuz they are out of options..but that’s just another form of manipulation. They don’t feel remorse. They do feel shame, but not for what they do..only for getting caught. 🤷♂️ it’s all a game. Protect yourselves.
Fair obsverations.
True, however (and I want HG to touch on this subject in a video soon), but the narc's are such great actores as we alll know, that often times they are able to work their magic and maniputale the police and legal system in their favor..it has happened to me! It can be done.
This all happened before I discovered HG. Had I known what I know now, things would have been different, but here we are. Might as well share, if only for a bit of entertainment.
One of my neighbours is a narc, let's call him N. He's running a smear campaign on one of the other neighbours, let's call him A. All of us share a nice garden behind the building. Now, while we're enjoying the summer weather in our garden, N will sometimes tell us things about A. Things that he has done, things that basically pissed N off. While I hadn't discovered HG yet, I already knew a thing or two about narcissism, and N's vibes already didn't feel right. But at first, I believed what he told about A, thinking he just misinterpreted the whole situation. Somewhere I knew I shouldn't meddle, but my emotional thinking got the better of me, so I went and had a little chat with A, if only just to hear his side of the story. I told him what N told me and, naturally, this pissed him off since half of it was untrue. He also told me his side of the story. We had a BBQ later that week, and at some point in the evening, A confronted N. They looked like they were having some shallow chitchat at first, but when I walked by, N gave me the stinkeye, and I knew what the conversation was about, even though I couldn' t really hear because of all the noise around me. At that point, another neighbour, let' s call him B, asked me to accompany him to get buy cigarettes. Since I wasn't exactly looking forward to being present when things escalated, I accepted, and went along. I confided in B about the whole issue while we went and got those cigarettes, and when we got back, A and N were still talking. Appearantly things hadn't escalated just yet, but the tone of the conversation was already a bit more heated. Then A called my name, and B, with the intention of standing up for me, told A that he should leave me out of it. B had achieved the exact opposite however, I was now involved. A started arguing with B, asking why he thought he needed to meddle, and I told A that it was ok, that I had confided in B and now he was standing up for me. Understanding now where B' s behaviour was coming from, A dropped the argument with B and continued the conversation with N. Now that I was involved anyway, I thought I'd take the chance to see how N would react now that the cat was out of the bag.
N apologized. He patted me on the shoulder, assuring me that he wasn't angry with me. A went on to say that N had hurt him, and I took my chance to tell him that I got hurt as well. "I got the feeling that I needed to choose sides, and that is a feeling I'd rather not have, do you understand?" Again, he apologized. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way. And I'm sorry I told you things that weren't entirely... correct." To which I responded: "Apogoly accepted. Don't do it again." N went on to say that I had to understand that it was all subconscious behaviour, but A interrupted him saying: "Well, I hope you'll change." N asked A if he was willing to help him change, and a whole other circle conversation came out of that, which I observed, but chose not to participate in. Eventually, A cut off the conversation and sat down next to one of the other neighbours that was present. Since it was the nearest spot, I also sat down next to him. Eventually we got invited to an after party and, thinking some distraction from the whole issue would do me good, I decided to join. B was invited as well, he said he'd join us later. And so he did. He arrived with ice cubes to put in our drinks, which got passed around jokingly and landed in my hands. After contributing my share of jokes I asked: "So what do I do with this now?" and I was told to put it in the freezer. So off to the kitchen I went, and B followed me. There, B told me he just talked with N, and he said N is actually very angry with me. "I won't EVER do ANYTHING for her anymore!" B quoted, saying N felt betrayed by me. Knowing he' s a narc, I wasn't surprised, but I did tell B that I found it a little odd that at first, N assured me he wasn' t angry, and even apologized for his lies, but now I hear that he actually is angry with me, and that he feels betrayed. So what should I make of that? B told me N would have preferred me coming to him first, to talk about me going to talk with A, and went on to say that N wanted to talk to me about it again in private. "Well, that's not going to happen!" I replied. "I mean, it's ok if he wants to talk, but I'd rather have a third party there." B recommended I'd ask a specific neighbour to mediate in that conversation, who happened to be at the after party as well, so I asked him as soon as I got the chance. I still didn't feel at ease though, so I searched youtube for video's about narcissism that could be helpful. That' s how I stumbled upon HG Tudor.
I have been binging his video's ever since, and they have been very helpful. N can forget about having a talk with me in private, I'm going no contact.
Last time I spoke to my narc mother, I asked why she didn't stop my father from belting my older sister up when she was about 13 or 14. She said she couldn't remember and that it couldn't have happened as our father loved us so much. I don't believe for an instant that she couldn't remember as it was pretty traumatic. Anyway she somehow turned the tables onto me and said how as a teenager I had temper tantrums that I took out on her (but she always forgave me). Again an incredible lie, what really happened was that we would be having a conversation and she would suddenly be convinced I said terrible things that I were never said. And then she would hold me in a vice like grip until I was hysterical and almost fainting while she screamed at me. I don't recall what the conversations were about, but it was a way that she had physical control over me and how she could play with my mind.
Oh gosh..like my mother..she is so crazy yet believeable to many.
Unfortunately, this is 1000% true of my 26 years experience with my husband.
Leave him
With all due respect and compassion can you tell me why you would stay with him even one day I say it to with respect I am why do you hate yourself I'm not saying it to be disrespectful how could you stay with somebody that abuses you I'm just trying to comprehend this genuinely from my heart please help me understand
The narcissist LOVES and THRIVES on a good fight.
The last 3 or 4 months I caused narc injuries to my ex-GF frequently and she did not bother manipulating anymore she would just straight up punch me in the face until I complied... then she would "lick my wounds" and discard me for a mutual anyway...
Other than that the 2 most common lies are to blame your reaction for the lie, that they "did not know how to tell you in fear of your reaction" and the most insidious one is when they admit to endless layers of "lesser evils" that end up making a loop back to the original lie.
I was with her for 3 and a half year, I am at 3 months no contact last week. I'm at the edge of a huge cliff not sure wether to plunge, lay there or walk back... It's hard to keep a job. I have emotional meltdowns every 2-3 days or so, there are no job policy that cover for that I'd just be labeled crazy. They love me at work and I do good stuff but I'm just a walking mess, my smile much too big to be real, everything is uncanny.
I lie to get days off, I can't really tell them I just stayed on a single chair all day spinning my thought around endlessly, staring at my effing hands... so I come up with good lies, I hate it.
When I first met him he said his name was Harry and he was 48. 2 weeks later he asked me why I kept calling him Harry, his name was Paul! His son also told me he was 51 not 48 about 2 months in... that was just the beginning.. pointless lies graduated into full blown affairs of course!
Love this!!! Made me laugh when calling them Little shits 👏🏻🤣 I’m going to have a the time of my life when I see my narc next 😂👏🏻 I’m just going to film her and keep laughing at her. She’s got no chance of intimidation an if she wigs out I’ll wet myself laughing 😂 thank you 🙏 think your the only Natc I like 👍
So I have been described by my therapist as a dark empath. I tend to have a very strong instinct about people from first meeting them or seeing what they write or even their social media persona. I have been with a mid range narcissist for nearly two years.I have recently decided to call her out on one of her lies-I see through all of them but as my kind doesn’t really get hurt but are better at hurting others through manipulation and knowing how to use a persons emotions against them.
Her lie I had electronic and written proof of-I asked 4 times-once via a text which she dismissed, and 3 times face to face-I could see her body language and eyes change their usual methodology and decided to wait a week and then get at her. Previously I have been dismissed or told I was misremembering etc etc etc. I only seek power when it suits me and it’s been fun to twist the screw in on this one. I sent her a message saying I know what has been going on and what had happened-she immediately sent a message back saying I’m really unnerved by this message what is it that you think you know…my response was you should assume that I know everything especially the email from….. and your responses-I have access to all his emails and messages. I eventually emailed her the copy of the email I had-she went ballistic.
This immediately resulted in an angry shouting and a crying voice message being sent and that she cannot speak to me for a long time because her privacy has been invaded (despite a very uncharacteristic admission recently that she had been through my paperwork and drawers after me leaving for work some months ago when she stayed at my place) the result has been blocking me, then unblocking me-making her friends list on Facebook hidden-curiously though not changing her Facebook status to single even though I broke up with her because she would not apologise for her lies to my face. I instead changed the relationship status to single.
I have now blocked all her ways of contacting me except for Facebook- I have left her able to view everything because I want to hurt her for lying to me. It’s not that she has hurt me it’s because she has insulted my intelligence and thought of me as a fool. We had various things shared-she cancelled her family subscription to apple media/books-is suspect because she thinks that I am spying on her phone-I’m not-I am far more Machiavellian and smarter than that. She didn’t cancel the shared Netflix and Spotify that I pay for so I put the boot in and removed her devices.
It has been fun seeing her feeble attempts at manipulating me-trying to get me to pay for her flight to Australia or a new wetsuit-she tried on 3 after losing hers (or did someone take it?) and then put the “perfect one” back on the hanger when I didn’t offer to pay for it saying “I can’t afford it anyway” and she was then in a bad way for the rest of the day.
She is a pseudo spiritual narcissist and has a lot of empathic flying monkeys that live in that sphere and I have dropped a bomb into that little arena by sending the results of joint therapy sessions together where the therapist wrote to me telling me that she was likely a covert narcissist and that it probably wouldn’t work-he had no idea of what I am or am capable of and was particularly easy to bend to my will. By putting the right phrases and manipulative questions to him he responded in exactly the way I wanted-which I copied and pasted to a few of her spiritual friends and telling them that I have broken up with her for lying to me. It’s been a fun couple of weeks!!! Only thing I will miss is the sex-she was pretty good in the sack.
I may continue doing things to spike her “lovely life” but know that the pain she is feeling now from me blocking her and not communicating is going to horrendous because she didn’t control what happened I did. She usually manages 5 years in a relationship before her pulling the plug and keeps her two main ex’s close by like puppets and uses them when she needs to. Oh the joy !!!! Last time I split up with her and no contact she arrived at my place of work crying and wanting to talk-that was fun to see.
What people don’t understand is that some of my kind can create any emotional feeling I can even cry convincingly and my lies don’t get caught out of which there are a great deal many.
If you want to be good at lying you have to practice and have a good memory. I would be interested in your feedback Mr Tudor.
The best one ever is when we were just separated after 21 years and his behavior was so bizarre, and so obvious to me. I knew he was married, before I even filed for divorce. Never admitted to that instead tried to reply to the court , actually returning the papers acting as if he didn’t even know who I was!! It truly was pathetic!! So I just proceeded with the divorce and sent him his beautiful beach wedding photo!! No response there!! Hysterically pathetic!! Who was that guy??? Never , ever care. Just 21 years wasted on someone? I never knew.
Wow that’s awful
Your video has helped me be wiser and stronger when dealing with the narcissist thank you HG!
The golden rules of freedom
My low midrange narcissist told me and our pastor that he hadn’t lied in 6+ years... the pastor practically humiliated him over that while the narc sat there and turned white. Looked like he was going to pass out!
HG your brilliant! You have answered so many questions. Thank You
It was exexctly as you explained. I could see it and left him, after I realized with what I am dealing with. There was the feeling he is a kind of crazy and I trusted me. At that time I did not know he is a narcissist. Thank you for your eye opening videos. All falls now into place and makes sence. Regards from Germany.
He admits it sometimes but most of the time he calls me a lier.He will throw a fit and storm off also.
You mean to tell me the cheap seats (lower and midrange) believe their own lies?!
They sure do! They will never admit they were wrong, so they will never admit to a lie. He convinces himself that he is the victim and the one being lied to. So they spin a story where they are innocent. Then they whitewash what truly happened, and there you go. They stick to the new version. There is a story my narc has told me about a previous relationship in which he has daughter. The mother banged his head against a car door in an altercation. He claims for no reason yet his daughter called 911 because she was afraid for her mother. Why would she be afraid for her mother if he was completely innocent.
The Lies were so absurd. They didn't even make sense. Called them out on them and I received a phone call with the narc in a rage. I was immediately blocked on everything and number was changed. In an instant!
Hi HG, I love listening to your evaluations of lesser and mid rangers. I believe my husband's ex is a mid range - see you have taught me much. My husband has been alienated from his daughter for 19 years. His ex had an affair with their Pastor when she was church secretary when this daughter was a baby. She succeeded in gaslighting him for years. She also had an affair with their son's doctor (the son is now deceased). He kept trying to find out what the problem was when he was in the devaluing/discarding phase. They went to counseling but all that happened was she fooled the counselors. There was lots of future faking going on with promises of returns if he only did such and such. She refused intimacies as a means of control. His daughter told him that he was "dead to her and never to contact her" when she was 17 after her Mom had removed her from the home for 2 years under the pretense of abuse, even going so far as to flee to a shelter for battered women. This daughter was I'm sure, terrorized to her very core. My husband kept trying to reach out to his daughter and every time he did there was a nasty threatening phone call or letter from his ex. One letter made vague accusations of molestation so he finally stopped, fearing she would damage his reputation as a teacher. Fast forward 10 years, his ex is on husband #3. He got in contact with the ex's 2nd husband and he also went thru a hellish divorce, protracted and litigious, and found out from him that my husband had been accused of molestation of the daughter and that he was part of a sex ring....??? This guy believed it at the time until she began to destroy his life and even attempted to have him killed. She destroyed his relationship with his brother with lies. They all thought very highly of the ex...imagine she is that good at her craft. So my husband wrote his daughter another letter, very nice reaching out kind, and still no response. So he blew up. All my husband's desire for truth and to refute the filthy accusations of him molesting his daughter boiled over. He also thought it his duty to warn the 3rd husband so he could be 'saved' a similar fate. He wrote letters, with the truth of what happened, to his ex's step son, his ex's 7 brothers, and his daughter in his desperation for her to know the truth since he had no further hopes of ever being restored to her while those lies stood in the way. Well, his plan backfired to say the least. His daughter wrote him for the first time in almost 2 decades saying that she had been in therapy for years trying to make sense of her "forgotten childhood" and the counselors had tried to force her to remember and these memories of supposed molestation emerged which she proceeded to share with her family and others. She said even though they felt real, the memories may not have been real and she deeply apologized if she told lies but would have to maintain silent separation. He then made the mistake of writing to his ex to ask for peace between them as it was hurting their daughter, then sent a gift of a photograph of their son ( the 2nd husband said she left all the photos of the son at his house). He then got a threatening letter from the 3rd husband and his daughter asking him to stop all correspondence. So now he just send his daughter a postcard several times a year, happy birthday, wish you well, hope you're doing well, have a great year, and so forth. That's the gory story, THE END. He feels rather hopeless that his daughter will ever wake up as she is 35 now.
I caught my narc wife in a lie when ive been asking her about a ring that i could not find in our apartment and she always say she didnt see it. Since it was only us living thereat, i didnt believe her. And so i search hi and low in our apartment and lucky me, i found the ring inside a shoe which was still in the box and was kept in her drawer.
When i asked about it, of course she made another excuse.
My guy swore he was truthful which was a lie in itself, caught in so many lies. Also contradictions which can be very confusing. I laughed many times because of the contradictions in every other sentence. Made no sense at all. He got really mad if you made it apparent you know he lied, let alone if you called him a liar. I'm glad I don't have to deal with anymore, what a rollercoaster ride to say the least.
Thank you for putting out your videos.
My narc started out as an online friend. I post stories and it's common for readers to reach out on social media about the stories. She reached out to me and in the first few minutes, I asked her if she was being abused.
From there, she inundated me with photos of wounds, bloody limbs and broken ribs, all attributed to her girlfriend whom I never knew their identity.
I begged her to go to the police and so she did, weaving this months long drawn out tale of how they wouldn't help her, no one believes her, and so she would put herself in danger to record and trap her unmitigated monster of an SO. This resulted in her being put in the hospital with brain damage but she was finally free.
My instincts told me something about this was wrong so I challenged her. The guilt she heaped onto me for wanting her to get out, for suggesting she would lie about something so serious, and then being like everyone else and failing to believe her, was crippling. I went quiet for a time but then hoovered myself, ignoring my instincts.
From there, she used all of that to constantly be in the hospital with migraines, mini strokes, anxiety, insomnia, sleep walking, and how she would never trust or fall in love ever again, even as she was in love with me. This was all my fault. AND I'd abandoned her in her greatest moment of need but she forgave me, at least until she'd bring it up.
Introduce her best friend, Jess. They're in Greece, helping Jess mend a broken heart from a failed engagement. We're texting constantly, flirting, sometimes begging me to "cross lines idc," "be selfish," "take advantage of me." I wouldn't, not until she used playlists to love bomb and trauma bond me.
Through this experience, I've not only learned what she is but what I am. I have BPD, for which I'm now being treated, but this internal problem was not only something she recognized to target me but it means it took next to nothing for her to manipulate me. I accept that I let her now that I know.
I tried to leave the relationship several times but kept hoovering myself only to be punished. I was triangulated against other supply sources, her best friend, kept in a constant state of self-flaggelation, guilt, and terror over her illnesses.
Her lies about her life grew more and more fantastic until I was discarded and I finally discovered that Jess is her wife. They were on their honeymoon in Greece. All the stories about the failed man fiance, the abuse, the ex, her illnesses, broken bones and wounds, so many needless lies that came crumbling down.
This last time I hoovered myself after discard, I was aware, giving her every opportunity to see the damage she was doing to me and her wife, giving her every opportunity to tell the truth but she only dug in and piled more punishment and lies and guilt onto me. I was already mentally ill, already suicidal, and she knew all of that from the start but still did it.
So, after a week, knowing she'd never be honest, I softly confronted her for the lie of who Jess is. You see, there was an article about their move in 2020, a big picture of Jess only that wasn't her name. She wasn't straight. She moved from the same place my narc did at the same time. She worked at her "partner's" old school, the same place my narc went. Her response was, "one day I'll explain my sad little life to you but for now I can't." As if I hadn't just caught her lying about someone's identity. So, I posted a wedding photo from Facebook, her wife on their wedding day, and she finally crashed.
"I'm sorry. I'm the worst," "I'm begging you to not ruin me," "it's more complicated than this and I can explain." I had to ask if she was married four times before she stopped deflecting and answered straight. She admitted that the abuse wasn't as bad, that nothing ever was, but it was abusive, scary, hard situation, and this "stupid fantasy" with me made it all "copeable." She had the audacity to say, "I'm honestly sorry for taking advantage and using you," and "you're a great person. I'm sorry for ruining that." I explained that she gaslit me to the point of suicide, made my needs nothing, convinced me I was an abusive monster. Her response to that was, "that wasn't my intention."
Her wife knows and doesn't care.
There's no way to explain just how insidious, senseless, and damaging this experience was or how bad a trauma bond is, especially for someone who has experienced untreated, sustained childhood abuse.
Now, I'm getting better. I forgive her and myself. I pity her for being so sick and immature and unchanging. And I truly pity her wife, her IPPS, because I lost my 20's with another narc. It's all so sad.
She has since been thought-fueling on my suffering and trying to manipulate me in small ways to get more. She let me know indirectly that she doesn't care, that she knows what she is and what she's doing and done. There are others suffering her but I'm GOSO. As soon as I sell my house, I'm changing my number, going unlisted, deleting all email accounts she's aware of, and if she ever contacts me again, I'll simply report it to the police. I wouldn't be able to see her manipulation without channels like HG's and my therapist. Her attempts at control and manipulation make me smirk now. I'm no longer infatuated or trapped in my emotional thinking. I look on it with astonishment at how silly it was of me to see it any other way.
Absolutely amazing hg because that is exactly what happens they switch to another manipulation word salad...someone who uses word salad is a mid range narcissist?
I've been through the ringer off n on almost a decade so one time I covered the bases with my questions so that she didn't have some type of plausible denial before letting it be known I had her on audio recording at which point she played victim shocked I would do such a thing and that the fact I left a recording device as being the sole reason to her wrongdoing.....she stood firm on the fact that had I not recorded none of it would have happened....
My caretaker is a narcissist I had moved in here and then 2 months afterwards he became the new caretaker and within a month of his behavior I concluded that he was a narcissist and so I just 2 years now what a sick puppy I even hired a lawyer cuz I'm ready to take the management company to the court because of his stupid what a sick sick it's unbelievable I'm sorry I'm stuttering like crazy here I have more compassion and understanding for crackheads and homeless people genuinely genuinely I will help them in a minute but a narcissist there's there's nothing that can do the difference they neither their tongues cut off I have nightmares over this imbecile but like I said I will help and I have helped homeless crackheads I don't drink I don't smoke I'm a born again Christian I pray for them I leave them to Christ I hook them up with clothing etc etc but narcissist they're they're really sick father God genuinely in Jesus mighty name has kept me out of jail I'm serious because of this dude no I'm not moving it cost me $4,000 to move in here
I asked my husband if he was married or single. He replied that he was married to a beautiful woman. I then asked why his FB profile showed him as "single", and sent him a screenshot of it. Upon receiving the screenshot, he asked what it was. I told him it was his profile. His response: "Maybe you should read it."
The only good narcissist is a discarded one.
Yup, my mother, brother and first husband all did and still do this. They never met a history that they didn't re-write.
My Narcissist that I was married to for 22 years was one of the biggest liars even worse than his father that was a pathological liar, I told my ex when we were going through the discard that every time he opened his mouth 95 lies flew out of it. He was one of the biggest liars I’ve ever met besides his father.
They don’t give a flip that they are not honest or sincere. Ex boyfriend was still living in the same house as ex wife while telling me he was living in his rental house.
My ex husband says i stalked him and invaded his house when I couldn't possibly stalk him once he blocked me everywhere and i didn't know his address. Yesterday he told me HE is the person who initiated our divorce and the most interested person in getting it. My jaw dropped to the ground. I've been trying desperately to get divorced for 3 years and he won't sign it. Process is with my lawyer for a year now and still nothing because not even her can handle his shit. Thankfully I know better now and i didn't even respond to that. Just felt very very sorry for him and puzzled with the thought of weather he knows he is lying or he already lives in an alternative reality.
Everything was a lie
he is the man that the Creator called false to the highest degree
I've come to like the term "counterfactual" 🤣
Several months after I ended the relationship, and he was trying to be 'friends without benefits' (just to show me what a great guy he really was), I asked him about his meeting up with the new IPPS (who replaced me within two weeks) during the total lockdown to go on cycle rides. He said "Well I didn't tell you, because I knew you'd kick off". It blew me away that he couldn't see the flaws in his logic, and that relationships have to have trust and accountability. He told me his new partner wasn't controlling like me and was happy for him to have his own 'friends', but I don't believe anything he says. I said I didn't want to be his friend and I wasn't as accommodating as he says his new partner is, so toodle o, pip pip, as they say. It isn't easy, but it is what it is. I need to move on. Thanks for the vudrus. .very inciteful.
Vudrus? Videos. Terrible texting.
Rubber chicken !!! HG you are hilarious!!
I have learned to not tell him when I find out about a lie. If I do, I will be sorry I did. He goes to defending himself stronly, then accusing me for beeing jealous or something , and twisting everything around. He is very intelligent. He is even a pastor. 🙏 pray.
Thank you HG forever
She was on Facebook live bragging about having all these guys she don’t care about to her friends. Literally said she don’t care about me. And she love another guy but don’t care about him either. She denied it and said she never said it even tho the video still up. Apparently it was just a joke
A false contrition is not a genuine admission 💥🎯
My midrange narc tells many lies. I busted him on a few today.
I know he will deny & deflect & attempt to assert control...which they will never have.
We went out to a hotel for the weekend ,, he went to go take a shower and his phone kept going off,, when I answered his phone it would hang up!! So that’s when I stated looking into his Facebook and found that he was on a dating site!!! When I confronted him him,,, he wouldn’t say nothing !!! After 35 yrs of marriage!!!🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
My daughter is like you HG. I don't have any relationship with her now. She's dangerous. She got it from her father
Get out and stay out
My narc sister will scream that you listened wrong.
I knew my wife was lying again. I confirmed it so I knew the truth. I didn't bother confronting her. She would have just twisted it and blamed me.
"Little shits!"
Lol Good one.
The narcissist switched to violence. Pupils engaged fully and then they charged at me like a bull. When I moved, they fell down and then went to stone. They wouldn't talk, wouldn't get up, wouldn't move. Scary stuff. I called for medical aid, the paramedics said they were 100% fine and then the next day the narcissist filed a false restraining order against me. I only share because I want others to hear this really does happen. Be very careful about your conversations with narcissists, they can and often resort to violence and legal abuse when denial and other methods do not allow them the control/power the narcissist demands of itself over others. Take care all!
I must admit a few of his lies were so good that if I didn't have a computer programming background and knew tricks the normal person doesn't to uncover info, I would swear my narc was telling the truth...but it was one of the best lies I ever heard.
She is a narcissist.
@@hgtudor-theultra How did you come to the conclusion I am the narcissist...if I am the "she" you are referring to? Being able to confirm whether one of the lies of the narcs was in fact true or not because I used to work in computer tech support, and went to school for computer programming and web design unbeknownst to this person, does not make me a narc. I have known the malignant narc I speak of for 8 years. For a year I went no contact and after several hoovers over a year's time he pleaded with me to be friends again, and I acquiesced. I didn't trust him but wanted to give him a second chance because I figured after a year perhaps he may have changed though I doubted it and figured I would limit my contact. I had him blocked on everything but Instagram and my phone. I decided after what was likely the love bombing period, that once he started the silent treatments and devaluation that I would simply let him do so and quietly block him on IG and my phone. I live 2,000 plus miles away from him so I didn't have to worry about retaliation. After a lengthy silent treatment in which I never tried to contact him like I usually do, he became alarmed. He tried contacting via phone but I had blocked him, so he tried contacting me via IG. I had stopped checking IG for a while, so by the time I did get back in touch with him, it was a week after he messaged me on IG. He had unfollowed me and changed the name on his IG account. He gave this really good lie about why he did so. He wanted me to answer his request to refriend him on IG and explain why I hadn't answered his message. I didn't believe his lie even though it was good,, so I spent a day trying to figure out how I could prove it was a lie. I got some help from some computer folks and I was able to prove to myself he was lying. I told him I thought he might be lying but wasn't about to explain how I knew. He responded that he was not...dug his heels in and said he was going to commodeer the conversation and get us back on track. And that was that... I didn't respond back. This occurred 7 months ago. He has absolutely no way to contact me this time....so I have NOT heard or seen him in 7 months.
I had viewed your channel and countless others on empaths, BPD, narcissism (Sam Vaknin), and ASPD (which he was diagnosed with I believe after his wife took him to court for domestic abuse which I learned during my background check of him...he told me at one point he had been diagnosed with ASPD). I probably watched 25 or more channels on YT dedicated to the subjects mentioned above over the past 4 - 5 years. In addition to all this I did extensive research online, Quora, Psychology Today, and the DSM IV (that I own from college when I studied abnormal psychology).
My father is a narc and for years I was an overachieving people pleaser trying to get my father's approval and slowly after dealing with a few narcs, dealt with my super empathic side. Your super nova video explained what happened to me with this person and it scared me. I don't like my shadow side coming out.
After much soul searching, and dealing with my own childhood traumas, I know what I am.
Hello Paula, UA-cam had a glitch my reply was actually towards somebody stating that Meghan Markle was a borderline, no idea how it came to be on this thread, so no, I am not stating you are a narcissist!
@@hgtudor-theultra Thanks for the clarification.
I want to also commend you on your Meghan Markle pt 2 video because it really highlighted the ways in which she may be a narcissist. I have heard others comment that she was but they never substantiated their claims with any evidence.
In addition, I loved your series on empaths as it was the first time someone clarified the various types. I was a bit confused how when dealing with certain narcs I would go into narcissistic sociopath/psychopath mode once pushed to my limit. Though this happens on the rarest of occasions, I feel subconsciously I am always planning for such contingencies. I could not reconcile these two opposing dichotomies within me other than to see myself in characters like Will Graham from Hannibal series, which for the sake of art is the uber super empath or contagion empath.
I’m assuming that your need for approval and justification of your intelligence has been addressed. Good Luck
Thank you HG 🌷
my ex Narcissist and i literally live three minutes from eachother. At the beginning of our relationship he was triangulating me with his ex.... Of course i had no idea at the time the levels or depths of Narcisism. Anyway i had just gotten a new car and i pulled into a the gas station we both frequent and him and his ex were sitting outside on the bench right in front of the store together. As soon as he realized it was me he stood up and she walked in the opposite direction he stood behind a pillar of the building literally were five feet apart from each other and I walked past him and just laughed and went inside the store got what I needed to get and walked back outside to my car he behaved as if he hadn't seen me at all and he wasn't there with anyone and denied the entire thing until I brought it up a month and a half later and said "this is going to make or break us, she was with you that day i pulled up wasn't she?" He put on a good show and cried his crocodile tears and said she had been threatening to kill herself he didn't expect to see me in that instance & had no idea how to explain the situation so he played dumb. Like an idiot i believed him. And felt pity for him.
HG I have a question that I know only you can answer. Why would a narcissist tell me something they did but leave out the full situation. When they had no need to do so? It is baffling me.
In your humble opinion.
My ex, not sure if he's a narc but behaves like one, would make up things about me, accuse me of those things and then call me a liar when I contradicted him. Usually he would add a lot of embellishments to stories I had told him about myself. It was crazy making behavior.
One of the first lies served by latest narc was about his job.
When I met him he said he was a graphic designer & art director.
In fact, that’s what he used to do. Years ago. Strangely he never stayed more than 2 years in a company... I wonder why 🤔
So reality is he lives from social help.
He always complains (middle midranger ?). About EVERYTHING & ALL THE TIME. And everybody is stupid, no one can do their job properly and if he is in this situation it’s because of bad luck & a lack of recognition of his missunderstood talents and intelligence 😏
Mine did the number 2, spot on with your understanding thank you.
Blame shifting: I knew if I told the truth, you would be upset, angry, furious etc…
If I don’t have proof, he will always deny.
We can't go along with someone who have some pathological disorder or mentally or morally corrupt
So my narc partner has a 2nd girlfriend. I found out by reading their whatsapp conversation, after he tried to hide her calling him. I then confronted him and recalled many many details of their conversation, also the part that made clear they had beem intimate. yet he kept denying, told me she used to be the girlfriend of one of his friends and he would never ever sleep with her. 2 weeks later I read more of their conversation after I caught him calling her this time. He casually told me that she called him. When I confronted him with how he messaged her that I, his girlfriend, am just temporary and he only loves her... he lashed out to me about me reading his messages. Full rage. We did not talk about it any more. And life went on, he continues his double life and I am still here. I still love him. Meanwhile I am learning all there is to learn on this channel and its taking most of the emotional pain away for me. Until I am able to walk off or he discards me. Until then, I consider it my narcisissm masterclass...
He said he wanted to talk to me multiple times, then never called. I told him he was being confusing and giving mixed signals, by doing this multiple times. Then he goes on to say it only happened once and he explained he changed his mind so that makes it okay! I had an entire conversation saved proving otherwise but don’t even feel like confronting with evidence or arguing over the truth anymore. It’s a waste of time!
When confronted of his cheating his reaction was no I didn’t. N then yes I did!! That’s what you want me to say?! I DID! N then... no i didn’t! Of course I DIDNT!! Plus agro n tantrum n throwing pan of food around house n punching metal door 🤦🏻♀️
Lavly.
Well I will listen to this on my way to work
Too many lies to mention but his general response was to either blame me ("I had to lie because of how you'd react if I told the truth") or blow his top and shout "YOU'RE ACCUSATIONAL! MY EX-WIFE WAS ACCUSATIONAL TOO!)
The lies about you can continue years after you left a narc. Even if you stopped contact years ago. How could you possibly leave someone so perfect?
Caused a huge flustered, confused, irritable argument whilst on holiday in the early evening. Flounced off out all dolled up leaving us on our own for an entire evening. He did it again a few days later but forgot to take his new phone and only took his old one ..... The day that he first did this act I checked the history and found that hours before the flouncing he'd been looking for a date in every manner possible. I kept my mouth shut for days just so we could get home in one piece. 5 mins from home and the put downs and abuse started again. After getting out off the car I couldn't hold back said my bit and walked off .... he had nothing to say and really didn't care anyway and if I had of pursued it he would just use that as fuel to put in my place of not mattering. He never had anything to say about anything I thought or knew as fact he made sure he'd asserted his entitlement very early on.
Mind boggling when it came to those unspoken rules and expectancies for me. I think for me the hardest part to get my head around even after years of working all this out is how can anybody be oblivious about what they do to someone but can clearly see it if its done to them?
Sorry if I've said all this before
Yep yep yep that's what he did over and over deny revise deny accuse take my head off
I am happy to report my freedom today
You just explain everything that I didn’t understand but was happening. I would call her out and she would not even acknowledge I said anything and hang up. Silent treatment came next. We lived together for a year then she moved back home to another state. So I would just do my thing but always worried. Then after a few days she would call and never acknowledge anything happened. She was something else. She moved back after a year but left again. Now I know it was all about control. She did have control but I’ve been through things she couldn’t even imagine! No could! I would make her brain bleed when she lived with me because she couldn’t gain control through argument, I would only want resolution through truth but we just went in a circular argument but I would never give up. My will is stronger then her lies and manipulations. I guess that’s why we’re not together and she was cheating. It’s ok I win because I can’t be broken and I never give up. It’s called courage! That’s what it takes to truly love. It’s hurts but the hurt is worth the risk. Loves a gamble you win some you lose some. Broke mother fuckers ain’t got the money to play with! My bank account is endless so I’ll raise you love every time. Your broke ass can’t even limp in the blind. That’s the way I see it. Narcissists can I watch from the side while real players inside the game yeah and I mean he’s gonna win that million dollar prize when you ain’t got nothing to play with you ain’t even got a card narcissist play pretend like Barbie dolls with blank cards while I always have an ace up my sleeve. For real I have a tattoo of an ace peeking out of my tattooed sleeve! That’s because I’m a player and I play to win.
You talk like a book
~ Peter Griffen
Your voice is seriously soothing...
I can image you saying..
“No one would have believed, in the last years of the
nineteenth century, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space.
~ Jeff Wayne’s War of the worlds
My narc ex boyfriend texted me and said I know you don't want to hear this but I'm so sorry about what happened between us because I could always talk to you because you are such a great listener. I met him because he wanted to tell me the hell he has been going through in the last 5 months.( Keep in mind that I am testifying against him. He lost his job over calling a woman nasty names at work and other things. He is trying to get his job back) When we met he was admitting that he was a bad son, bad father to his son who OD and died and treated women bad. He future faked me about a year ago telling me he needed space because he was depressed after he was fired. 3 weeks later I caught him with another woman who he had been triangulating me with for 3 months. I brought that lie up and he said what is the date that I told you I needed space? I told him and then I had a picture of him and her at his birthday party. He said oh okay But I just met her that night. She is a friend of my granddaughters mother. We just had coffee once after that. She then called me and said her daughter and boyfriend kicked her out and she had no where to go so what could I do. I had to let her stay with me because I'm a nice guy. We just fell in love. Then of course he switched the conversation to his up coming hearing. Begging me not to testify because he's changed and really loved that job. (I think he only admitted to me that he was a bad person to convince me he changed). I told him that I was telling the truth because my reputation and integrity means everything to me. We left, the next day he wanted me to come over and have sex with him. I said no. The next day he called me and told me he was having problems with his sugar and he couldn't work because he was stressed. He said the only way I can help his health problems if I tell him I'm not going to testify. I told him that I was not going to lie for him. I believe that when I caught him in lies he minimized, blame shifted and justified his actions. H.G any response you can give me will be appreciated. Thank you so much for your videos. He was diagnosed as aspd with Narcissist features.
I've been disengaged many times and all of them the narc has told me that his cellphone was stolen or that "somehow" he'd lost my number hahahaha. The funny thing is that he's had the same exact cellphone since I met him.
Absolute weirdos
there were many events in mine and my brothers child hood that at the time I thought was the same in every household, my mother dislocated her thumb hitting my brother over the head and she hit me hard on my wrist with the hoover nozzle, then I got whipped with my house riding crop across the legs that happened a lot, I was cheeky to my dad and he starting kicking me in the ribs and picked me up by my throat and threw me on the chair I had marks around my neck where my necklace had dug in, and to many more things to mention, I'm 57 now and I am starting to think they were both narcissists, my mother had an affair for years and my dad slept with prostitutes, when I met my boyfriend who I moved in with I told my mum we were getting engaged and she said never get married and never have children and that has always stuck in my mind, there's been times in the past that I've bought things up and she conveniently can't remember anything, I thought growing up that this was all normal I went on th marry a narcassist and stayed for 14 years it was awful but I finally got out, the strange thing is I seem to attract and be attracted to these type of people so I often think there's something wrong with me!