If hockey, football, bronco/bullriding freaked them out, imagine their reaction to boxing, MMA, pro wrestling (especially the reveal that this is purely for entertainment instead of competition), bulldogging, etc.
There was an invasion because the whole galaxy feared humans and a bunch of class 8 hunters i think wanted to take humans as a trophy and tried to take them in the middle of a hockey game.
@@frealsolidusauxil5873 more like, human gets kidnapped by greys, human gets dumped somewhere, human gets involved in an attack by hunters while trying to go back, hunters get trounced, hunters want payback, hunters invade earth, hunters invade hockey game, hunters get trounced AND leave FTL-capable ships on hands of humans.
Nay, it's because we are not a type one civilization yet. the majority of us haven't had a decent childhood let alone a "Good" one. Can you imagine if every child had the opportunity to fulfill there full petechial? ua-cam.com/video/_Kt7883oTd0/v-deo.html
@@Kirishala "And long ago there were even colossal reptilian behemoths who would skewer and tear apart their predators!" 'Wow, what happened to them?' "The.. humans don't know, actually. Some say a meteor struck the planet and killed them all without killing all life.. Some subscribe to the idea it was the result of an ice age - that is, the entire planet's global temperature reducing to the point of freezing - killed the tropically acclimatized reptiles.. We believe it was early, tribal human ancestors who finished the few who remained after those ecological disasters."
As a Canadian I always enjoy having Hockey portrayed as a 'combat' activity. Out of context it could be, which makes it even better. "Why would they arm children with sticks and put knives on their feet! Just what kind of monsters are you!"
Canadian Hockey Fans: We lost?!?!! AAAHHHHHH (scream of agony)....burn it....burn the city......BURN IT FECKIN' DOWN!!!!!!!!! We won?!?!! YAAAAAAYYY (cries of joy).......burn it....burn the city.......BURN IT FECKIN' DOWN!!!!!!!!!
@@itsmootdamnitnotmute905 To be fair to my cousins to the North of me, that's mostly Vancouver. I don't see Calgary, Toronto, or Montreal fans rioting.
Not gonna lie, I find cliff divers to be a bit crazy myself. Still amused by the idea of alien life losing their shit over the casual stuff we do for fun though. Also I'd figure Australia would be classified as class 14 or higher if the rest of the world is just 12
Australia has a bunch of nasty surprises; the rest of the world is just honest. Africa's animals can curb check even people who are prepared; South America has apex predators that are just as, if not more, capable of handling the jungle terrain as humans; North America has both of the largest canines, multiple large, horned herbivores, and the largest land-predator on the planet; Asia has a little bit of everything, as well as giant wasps. Europe is probably the safest (even the dangerous animals have relatively small ranges), but still isn't exactly without risk. And that's not taking weather patterns into account. Americans are so used to hurricanes that someone made a pay phone call for an ARG in the middle of one, the Sarah Desert reaches temperatures which make consistent sand contact damaging, and Russian winters are practically a meme at this point. Australia is dangerous in different ways than the rest of the planet, but I wouldn't say it's necessarily worse. Just not what we're used to.
Antarctica would probably rate pretty low because all the wild life is on the coast, and there's nothing in the inland areas but the cold trying to kill you.
Well it's bulls and blood It's dust and mud It's the roar of a Sunday crowd It's the white in his knuckles The gold in the buckle He'll win the next go 'round
It's the boots and the chaps It's cowboy hats It's spurs and latigo It's the ropes and the reins The joy and the pain And we Humans call the thing "rodeo"
Oh what fun when they see what human war entails. Corrosive gases. Poisons. Fire. Weapons so powerful they destroy themselves as part of regular use. Ships in the ocean the size of spacecraft that fire projectiles the size of cars. ICBMs. Grenades. Landmines. Swords, axes, and lances. Sniper rifles. Tanks. And if all else fails... thermonuclear detonation. Entire cities erased from history. Entire populations wiped out in a blink. And that was before we had ever left our planet.
*Me:* We're not all that crazy. Those are sports fans and adrenaline junkies, there are much quieter humans too. Like, my hobby is painting and artcrafts. *Me, 5 mins later, realizing half my paints/materials are toxic and only meant to be used in open areas or with a breathing mask:* ...Oh. Right. Nevermind.
I have played both sports for years. Getting *A* hit in baseball is harder than hitting a cricket ball however 1 hit in baseball is a good successful performance while a good cricket innings might require hitting the ball 200 times while selectively ignoring 200 other deliveries. A good cricket innings is more comparable to batting very well (I would say over .600) across a 5 game series (About 20 to 25 at bats? This is all guesstimated). If a player did that they would probably account for somewhere around 1/3 of their teams runs (this is all just uninformed guessing based on amateur play so pros might be different. Also you might get wildly different values depending on stat used and nature of play, RBI might be a high % while they personally rarely get home or rbi might be really low because they are the lead off hitter but they often get home personally. My point is a general, theoretical one)
That would be the American futbol actually, because is literally rugby but with extreme violence (look at here’s come the boom video about nfl greatest hits/tackles)
@@shadowwin7272 The reason it's considered more brutal is because you don't have half the safety gear of football/hand-egg for roughly the same amount of violence.
And as the students left the room and the seats cleared up a single one stayed behind. When doctor Ka'ahra looked her face got the expression of surprise when the last remaining studend ligted up one of the two manipulators on it's upper body to indicate that it has a question for the doctor. It too doctor Ka'ahra a moment to recover from what she is seeing before adressing this student. “Yes, what is your question?“ the doctor asks. “Are those thing really that dangerous for you?“ asks the human student
@@aj_the_infamous1013 oh yeah XD,a 12 year old human can kill the hunters,a bellow average human can still rip their limbs out and they landed in the finals of a hockey game.....they're dead dead XD
@@theicyphoenixrecords5980 a starving small child can put them in the ER. Room full of kindergarteners "scared if not dead". Beyond that a light smack will kill them
@@veryangryduckpl2122 - there is one where our entertainment is discussed somewhere. Where it's explained that our villains and monsters are all so OP that we literally write them as being incapable of being killed or maimed or stopped, eg nearly every slasher movie, the Terminator, the Thing, the Alien, all the gods and demons and angels our heroes end up fighting in fiction, supervillains, world-dominating AI, the undead... because if a bad guy isn't ridiculously overpowered and incapable of being stopped we just don't get invested in the hero beating them.
"How do you practice something that will kill you if you haven't mastered it yet?" - A question which one might apply to the entirety of human history.
I love the idea of alien species beings scared of what humans find is fun. Because that means no matter where we go, we will never have to worry about finding another species crazier than us. And when it comes to negotiations there is no one that is going to want to anger the suicidal, adrenaline-fueled monkeys
I hope reality turns out to be somewhere in the middle of humans being ridiculously overpowered or ridiculously outclassed. Where's the fun of space travel if you never have to face an existential threat to human existence? Or if everyone else is so ridiculously OP that you have to beg for their support on every little thing?
@@nagillim7915 Technically? Compared to all the other primates we ARE the weakest of the bunch. Pound for pound a chimp ( our nearest still living genetic cousin ) could rip any one of us apart and not even be trying
We love a jenkinsverse story! Listening to the main storyline on Zren's channel is always a joy. Finding more narrations on the peripherals of it is a welcome surprise!
Human: Maaaan...I'm bored! Alien: *Jumps out of Airlock* Human: Holly shit! That looked rad. And that's how the next big Human extreme sport Jettison jumping was born. Where humans jump out of the protective shell of their spacecraft to the vacuum and absolute zero temperature of space competing who can endure it longer.
I've only just recently found this channel (as well a r/HFY) and i have to say these stories are fantastic. I never really liked short stories but now I'm spending far too much time binging these videos 😂 also, excellent narration! Thank You!
After listening to so many of these I have this head cannon that the word "human" translates directly to different horrible things in different alien languages and a few really good things in a couple others.
The difference between predator and prey is the willingness of something else to kill it. And humans have thoroughly taught everything on Earth that we're more willing to kill it then it is to kill us.
The next day Kar-ara gets asked by a human if she'd like to hang out. When asking what they would be doing the human replied "Fun activities" and smiled. This caused Kar-ara to faint and have to be transported back to her planet due to Trauma
After seeing so many of these HFY stories, I think a POV of an alien civilization finding these stories written by humans and being utterly confused would be entertaining
Each and every creature on this planet whose youth play: Our PLAY as juveniles is Learning to Hunt and Fight. And then we mature. Humans have this thing called "Dance." And frankly, I have yet to meet a dance that couldn't be morphed into a decent Martial Arts move. ESPECIALLY the Folk Dances of most every culture. And Humans aren't JUST Space Orcs: We're all also Crazy Eddies who Worship those with Survivor's Syndrome.
Imagine a bunch of aliens choosing Canada to invade because of how kind and nonviolent Canadians are, then accidentally landing in the middle of a championship hockey match preventing the home team from scoring a goal...
Kinda makes me want to see Kar-ara show these students a video of those divers swimming alongside Deep Blue. Heck, it freaks out more than a few Humans, so the thought of alien, non-Deathworlders watching it...
Just let us know how far you can go, I've had friends with all sorts of special handling requirements. Doesn't bother me none. We will find something to get up to. Take my hand and walk with me new friend and I will keep you safe even to the cost of my body. Yes, we do these things for fun but you should see how we can love!
Makes sense to me. We have a lot of extremely poisonous and invasive flora and fauna. Imagine someone smuggling a colony of wasps off world and having it wipe out the ecosystem on a class 1 world.
I'm trying to decide what music would go best with that... I was really thinking the Jaws theme song but it's not going to be long enough... I mean in the fight not the song.
Maybe that would have terrified them all beyond rationality. Just seeing humans run a marathon on the street freaked them out without seeing them running on rooftops. They'd be having nightmares and calling for Earth to be glassed.
@@nagillim7915 Or leaping gaps up to 3 times their body length, roll along the ground as if they were badly injured and then hop up and keep running, all without stopping.
@@nagillim7915 Now imagine them explaining free-diving "Humans can condition themselves to dive up to 30 meters in water without the aid of artificial respiration equipment."
There are various chemicals used. Petrol is one of them, but also naptha, lamp oil, alcohol and others. Any flammable hydrocarbon where it's the vapour and not the liquid itself that burns would do as the liquid actually provides some protection from burns inside your mouth.
@@asurasyn Basically it depends on the budget of the program. Gasoline is the cheapest alternative but because it is fairly toxic most people don't use it. You will see it in regions where Street programs are still permitted, and a beggar just sitting beside the street would be considered too lazy to give any money to.
You are a little nuts... but I actually understand it a bit. During high school many years ago I actually got to the point where I achieved a runners high. I really wish I would have kept it up... then I could be a nut too. :D
Hunter alien landing in the middle of a hockey match? Damn, talk about a flashback from the past. I remember reading/hearing that story a few years ago before the Plague started, and thought I would have forgotten about it until now.
Really enjoyed this one. As well the way how professor Kar ara was speaking and leading her exposition into humans. I imagined her looks be close to that of a Harpy, or mix of moth and a human when the detachable wing-hands were mentioned. If there was another part of this I would love to hear that.
@@lukeshort2960 it is part of the "Deathworlder's" series. In the "Jenkins-verse". In fact, the Hockey game where the Hunters were beaten (and literally torn limb from limb) was being broadcasted nationally across the US and Canada. Jenkin was watching it, no one believed him before about the alien abduction, but he started to describe how annoying the rest of the universe is. Every other species evolved on "easy" planets, averaging class 4-6. Just throw seeds on the ground and get highly nutritious food. A class-10 is a "deathworld", planets so hostile that it is thought that Sentient Life could not evolve there. Earth is not that lucky though. Earth is a Class-12 "Deathworld". 10 times more deadly than a class-11. 100 times more deadly than even the lowest level of a Class-10 "Deathworld". And. We. Survive.
Alien: Truth or Dare. Human: Dare. Alien: You humans always pick Dare. Humans laughing: We keep hoping you Dare us to do something INTERESTING. Aliens: 🤯
At the previous video, we are the first race existed in the Sol System so it makes me wonder if all of our creations had inherited the *crazy part* of our humanity just like the one in this video.
"Also, it is recommended that you study the 'Human Interactions Guide', specifically chapter 4: 'Human Reaction to Infantile Markers in Non-Human Species. Also known to humans as 'cute' or 'cuteness'. Those species with such traits may provoke reactions in unprepared humans that the deathworlders would interpret as affectionate and protective, but in reality could crush most species' bones into paste. Now, it's highly unlikely that you will meet any humans uneducated about other species' relative frailty, but for your safety it is required reading so that you may understand the reaction and how to short-circuit it." "If that's how they treat things they want to protect, I don't want to see what they do to species that they don't like." "That is covered in Chapter 5: 'Human Reactions to Threat Markers in other Sapient Species.' Also required reading, as several intelligent species bear superficial similarities to hostile and threatening animals and plants back on their homeworld and those of you unfortunate enough to look like something called a 'spider' are best advised to stay away from all humans without them being forewarned of your appearance first."
In arachnid-based species... The best advice would simply be avoid human space under all but life and death situations... Because even among trained humans there is still a psychosis known as arachnophobia... In which a human seeing you could respond by screaming, running or attempting to beat you to death.
Some 9 minutes in, I am guessing the reason for classifying Terra as class 12 deathworld will be what surprises the student the most. Ok, lets continue.
If the professor really wants to traumatize her students, she'll introduce them to the human libido. Imagine the nightmares caused when she explains that some humans will try to copulate with almost anything. Violently.
Wait I always thought the significance of the Marathon tale was that the dude pumped it so hard over the sprint that he died on arrival. It seems more likely that he would he immortalized for that action too, having him run back in to the fight like nothing happen does make it sound like the person was more physically impressive but is a worse myth lol
Might be a different story. There's a similar story in the bible from pre-kingdom Israel (judges period) but I forget the exact details. I think that particular story might have had two runners fighting the entire time though.
I hope a few lessons down the road they get a sense of how docile some humans would be if in specific environments. Pacifistic and clinically depressed humans potentially finding themselves fitting in well with other cultures.
Imagine if she explained videogames. Especially FPS games. to them it would seem like we basically train our young to be battlefield proficiently competent without actually risking there lives. When in reality. We do it cause we get bored.
10 meter fall hitting hard ground though can also break bones, if a human lands wrong pelvis might be shattered as well as other vital protective bones.
I’m upset they didn’t write about actual combat sports, those are fun too😂 how about rockets?? They thought gasoline was “ill advised” how about rocket fuel.
"...unless dropping from a considerable height. ..." she says, not bothering to mention the thousands of ways people fall over 'nothing' and either cracking their skulls, or breaking their necks. Let's be honest tripping over ones own feet may be somewhat rare, but a cable sling on a construction side, the dog leash, or a humble carpet have been known to injure humans, if not even killing some by the means of an especially unfortunate fall. And then there's drowning in puddles... YET! Some have become living shashlik by all kinds of accidents, while others where thrown about like ragdolls, or the 'occasional' 15m drop all of which were known to be survivable in "ertain circumstances", the later one I wouldn't recommend though, spinal injuries are nasty, having all bones pulverised is worse!
No, jumping into water is not the same as hitting the ground. A 10m fall onto solid ground, unprepared, will most likely break alot of bones. 24 - 30m is most likely deadly. There are expectations, but these usaly involev glass, trees, powder snow and grass, a luxary most people dont have when falling from great highs. And, the actually highest fall a human survived, involved him landing at a glass sealing. If the impact doesnt kill you by breaking all your bones and impale your organs with it, the drastic increase of G forces when your body at max speed hits the ground and goes from max to zero in seconds. What could also colapse a view important organs. And the head will also eventually experience the impact, even if softened by your squishyfied body. I dont now the exact physics, but it should be obvious why water is much less dangerous than ground, since it can move around and offers much more space to despurte kenetic energy and is much better at slowly absorbing kenetic energy.
Bulls have been ridden, saddles and all. Buffalo are still ridden in some parts of the world. Families in ox drawn carts in Scythia outran the Persian army, filling wells and burning crops ahead of them until the Persians were run ragged. When Darius sent a messenger ahead to tell them to turn and fight, they replied, "Go weep."
In the Setting, Earth is the second deadliest world in the Galaxy, a class 12 deathworld. Aliens visiting earth have(if they're even capable of handling the gravity) to wear the equivalent of MOPP gear, lest the bacteria, pollen and other airborne contaminants kill them.
Jumping out of perfectly good aircraft is a blast. I did that for years in the US Army. Now go jump out of a helicopter with nothing but a rope to regulate your descent. That is beyond amazing. And yes, I was qualified to do that as well, and did it often.
Other sports or recreational activities that miggh look dangerous or horrible to them -Car/Bike racing -Skying -snow/skate boarding -Paint ball/Airsoft -HAMA Tennis -scubadiving -Jetskying -Weigthlifting
I was listening to this and when it got to the hockey game I started LOL so much I had my teenage kids asking why (they had been wearing headsets watching/doing something on their Android tablets. I gave a quick overview and my son asked where that hockey game was. I said I didnt know but thought Canada. He said ok that explains it, he then went back to what he was watching.
According to what I can find... I'm at work so I really don't dare open the entire story section... It was the Stanley cup. The finals of the Stanley cup. There's nothing on Earth that'll make up for that. I don't care if they came in wearing gold armor. The two teams are going to stomp them out of existence. A halftime will be called while they clean up the ice. And the game will resume. You can tell the author is a North American because they consider a marathon to be the Pinnacle of human endurance... Where has anyone from South America or Europe or Africa would know that a soccer match is literally 2 hours of activity that would leave a herd species medically unfit... Just go get him whatever his species used as a sedative.
@@leechowning2712 90 minutes with a break in between two periods plus your walking or jogging when your not directly attacking the ball or defending and the average soccer player runs somewhere between 7.5 and 9 miles. meanwhile the fastest time anyone has ever run a marathon is in two hours with the average being around 4 and your running 26.2 miles 42.6km and that’s just a regular marathon there are ultra marathons which is any race over 26.2 miles and one race is over 3100 miles though not all at once triathlons which is about 51.5 km of running biking and swimming and there’s also the eco challenges where the last one was 416km non stop using a map and compass and a dozen other similar races. While a marathon might not be the pinnacle of human endurance soccer isn’t even close.
Boredom: a human state of mind caused by nothing trying to kill them for prolonged periods of time.
Alien: THEY EVEN MAKW SIMULATIONS KILLING EACH OTHER AND OTHER CREATURES FICTIONAL OR NOT TO AVOID BOREDOM
Idle hands are the devil's playground.
@@leerman22 "A Man will do most anything to keep his mind occupied" ~ Red. Probably.
This also includes the metaphorical killing such as your boss killing you if you screw shit up
There was a study a while back that showed that we prefer pain over boredom.
"...when there aren't any suicidal Hunters on the ice..."
That definitely gave me a chuckle.
If hockey, football, bronco/bullriding freaked them out, imagine their reaction to boxing, MMA, pro wrestling (especially the reveal that this is purely for entertainment instead of competition), bulldogging, etc.
@@viperfanboy3663 What about sword-fighting. Or Olympic style snow skiing or luge
Ah deathworlders setting. The hunters attack hockey game, get slaughtered. good stuff.
*very* good stuff. "class 12 deathworld M-fuckers!"
Isn't funny how when most qmericans think hockey is less a sport like american football but hockey is worst than football... and more violent
I forgot the hfy but it came from there
There was an invasion because the whole galaxy feared humans and a bunch of class 8 hunters i think wanted to take humans as a trophy and tried to take them in the middle of a hockey game.
@@frealsolidusauxil5873 more like, human gets kidnapped by greys, human gets dumped somewhere, human gets involved in an attack by hunters while trying to go back, hunters get trounced, hunters want payback, hunters invade earth, hunters invade hockey game, hunters get trounced AND leave FTL-capable ships on hands of humans.
Yeah...that's basically the thing about us humans: we're pretty much all insane, to one degree or another.
yarp
but without that it would be so boring!
Not pretty much all, definitely all.
All the best people are crazy after all.
Nay, it's because we are not a type one civilization yet. the majority of us haven't had a decent childhood let alone a "Good" one. Can you imagine if every child had the opportunity to fulfill there full petechial?
ua-cam.com/video/_Kt7883oTd0/v-deo.html
ah yes "fun" a human word for suicidal dangerous activities.
yup
"And the ground shook, as blood froze in their veins, at the ancient Terran battlecry: 'Hey, y'all! Watch this!'"
I blame Dwarf Fortress.
Oh boy, I sure do love adrenaline!
@@asurasyn "Yippee kay-ay, motherfuckers!"
It'd be a class 10 deathworld if it wasn't for us.
Nah, we killed off most of the really dangerous wildlife
@@Kirishala ... *Looks at Australia, Florida, and Russia (main one there is the Russians.)*
@@Kirishala "And long ago there were even colossal reptilian behemoths who would skewer and tear apart their predators!"
'Wow, what happened to them?'
"The.. humans don't know, actually. Some say a meteor struck the planet and killed them all without killing all life.. Some subscribe to the idea it was the result of an ice age - that is, the entire planet's global temperature reducing to the point of freezing - killed the tropically acclimatized reptiles.. We believe it was early, tribal human ancestors who finished the few who remained after those ecological disasters."
@@krel7160 we are confident that it was a meteor
humans and dinosours existed 64 million years apart
Been at least one that said that regardless of planet or climate, each planet humans set foot on would be called a death world just because humans
Last time I was this early, the nanite swarms weren't even interested in my other sock...
The nanite swarms explain so much, no wonder my socks are always gone.
Is that how washing machines work. Finally it makes sense.
As a Canadian I always enjoy having Hockey portrayed as a 'combat' activity. Out of context it could be, which makes it even better.
"Why would they arm children with sticks and put knives on their feet! Just what kind of monsters are you!"
Anthropologists describe all team sports as highly ritualised warfare.
Or as I like to call it, Canadian Ice Fighting.
@@markbeiser Alt: Boxing on Ice (from the 80's and 90's)
About as soon as they can walk.
Weirdly enough, I remember that Red Wings game. We then celebrated by rioting as usual. Great TV deals that day.
I fuckin died.
Canadian Hockey Fans:
We lost?!?!! AAAHHHHHH (scream of agony)....burn it....burn the city......BURN IT FECKIN' DOWN!!!!!!!!!
We won?!?!! YAAAAAAYYY (cries of joy).......burn it....burn the city.......BURN IT FECKIN' DOWN!!!!!!!!!
@@itsmootdamnitnotmute905 To be fair to my cousins to the North of me, that's mostly Vancouver. I don't see Calgary, Toronto, or Montreal fans rioting.
@@RaderizDorret Montreal rioted when a player got traded
Not gonna lie, I find cliff divers to be a bit crazy myself. Still amused by the idea of alien life losing their shit over the casual stuff we do for fun though. Also I'd figure Australia would be classified as class 14 or higher if the rest of the world is just 12
I'd say 12 is the average. And while oz might be 14, other places might only be an 8.
@@kieranh2005 I would say Earth is only a level 6 death world. Australia raises it to 12 on its own.
Australia has a bunch of nasty surprises; the rest of the world is just honest. Africa's animals can curb check even people who are prepared; South America has apex predators that are just as, if not more, capable of handling the jungle terrain as humans; North America has both of the largest canines, multiple large, horned herbivores, and the largest land-predator on the planet; Asia has a little bit of everything, as well as giant wasps. Europe is probably the safest (even the dangerous animals have relatively small ranges), but still isn't exactly without risk.
And that's not taking weather patterns into account. Americans are so used to hurricanes that someone made a pay phone call for an ARG in the middle of one, the Sarah Desert reaches temperatures which make consistent sand contact damaging, and Russian winters are practically a meme at this point.
Australia is dangerous in different ways than the rest of the planet, but I wouldn't say it's necessarily worse. Just not what we're used to.
Depends really, Earth could be divided up by 'danger'. Australia and the Amazon likely being some of the most dangerous places.
Antarctica would probably rate pretty low because all the wild life is on the coast, and there's nothing in the inland areas but the cold trying to kill you.
To be fair... we might just wanna play a videogame... about brutal domination and warfare... no? What do you mean, hysterically traumatized?
True That's True Mostly true every video game is about dominance or Fights or Being better than There foe or just a waste of time
Show them doom 2016 or doom eternal
If the enemy isn't an unkillable, unstoppable and immortal entity that spits atom bombs then, really, are there any real stakes involved...?
@@Alleykat0166
me playing my novel game peacefully
@@chongwillson972 What's it about tho?
Well it's bulls and blood
It's dust and mud
It's the roar of a Sunday crowd
It's the white in his knuckles
The gold in the buckle
He'll win the next go 'round
Rodeo hmm.
Nice!
I love that song
I was humming this song the whole time.
It's the boots and the chaps
It's cowboy hats
It's spurs and latigo
It's the ropes and the reins
The joy and the pain
And we Humans call the thing "rodeo"
Now they need to see what led up to those nukes getting set off.
tax evasion. banking sceems.
Ahh yes, the good ol' recreational activities... Setting off nukes in the distance
Oh what fun when they see what human war entails. Corrosive gases. Poisons. Fire. Weapons so powerful they destroy themselves as part of regular use. Ships in the ocean the size of spacecraft that fire projectiles the size of cars. ICBMs. Grenades. Landmines. Swords, axes, and lances. Sniper rifles. Tanks. And if all else fails... thermonuclear detonation. Entire cities erased from history. Entire populations wiped out in a blink.
And that was before we had ever left our planet.
The truth about humans are the friends we made along the way... also as he's the 1 who posted it. Agro is 1st
Are the friends we ate along the way.
wait what no op dosn't count in who gets first
He was the first Mr. Krabs, he was number 1
*Me:* We're not all that crazy. Those are sports fans and adrenaline junkies, there are much quieter humans too. Like, my hobby is painting and artcrafts.
*Me, 5 mins later, realizing half my paints/materials are toxic and only meant to be used in open areas or with a breathing mask:* ...Oh. Right. Nevermind.
lol
Rugby is the only sport deemed more brutal than hockey. Also, due to the surface area of the bats, baseball is 32x harder than cricket.
I have played both sports for years. Getting *A* hit in baseball is harder than hitting a cricket ball however 1 hit in baseball is a good successful performance while a good cricket innings might require hitting the ball 200 times while selectively ignoring 200 other deliveries. A good cricket innings is more comparable to batting very well (I would say over .600) across a 5 game series (About 20 to 25 at bats? This is all guesstimated). If a player did that they would probably account for somewhere around 1/3 of their teams runs (this is all just uninformed guessing based on amateur play so pros might be different. Also you might get wildly different values depending on stat used and nature of play, RBI might be a high % while they personally rarely get home or rbi might be really low because they are the lead off hitter but they often get home personally. My point is a general, theoretical one)
That would be the American futbol actually, because is literally rugby but with extreme violence (look at here’s come the boom video about nfl greatest hits/tackles)
@@shadowwin7272 The reason it's considered more brutal is because you don't have half the safety gear of football/hand-egg for roughly the same amount of violence.
Two words for you, Gentle Being:
Water
Polo
Bull riding.
And as the students left the room and the seats cleared up a single one stayed behind. When doctor Ka'ahra looked her face got the expression of surprise when the last remaining studend ligted up one of the two manipulators on it's upper body to indicate that it has a question for the doctor. It too doctor Ka'ahra a moment to recover from what she is seeing before adressing this student.
“Yes, what is your question?“ the doctor asks.
“Are those thing really that dangerous for you?“ asks the human student
I remember that story about the Hunters attacking the hockey game. That was hilarious.
Wasn't it the finals as well.
@@aj_the_infamous1013 oh yeah XD,a 12 year old human can kill the hunters,a bellow average human can still rip their limbs out and they landed in the finals of a hockey game.....they're dead dead XD
@@theicyphoenixrecords5980 a starving small child can put them in the ER. Room full of kindergarteners "scared if not dead". Beyond that a light smack will kill them
I want the link to this hunter story please
@@johntaco861 Me too
I love the regular references to The Deathworlder in new HFY stories. Hunters attacking hockey, The Corti Directorate, etc
is there a story about the wildlife class? would love to read that
And then about religions and WAAAAAAAHHHH...
Or movies.
Or games.
Althrough she would have to explain entire fnaf series plot to scare them.
@@veryangryduckpl2122 ಠ‿ಠ
@@veryangryduckpl2122 - there is one where our entertainment is discussed somewhere. Where it's explained that our villains and monsters are all so OP that we literally write them as being incapable of being killed or maimed or stopped, eg nearly every slasher movie, the Terminator, the Thing, the Alien, all the gods and demons and angels our heroes end up fighting in fiction, supervillains, world-dominating AI, the undead... because if a bad guy isn't ridiculously overpowered and incapable of being stopped we just don't get invested in the hero beating them.
@@nagillim7915 Yes and they use that to explain why you NEVER make a human mad, because if it takes an unkillable god to scare what can an Alien do?
"How do you practice something that will kill you if you haven't mastered it yet?" - A question which one might apply to the entirety of human history.
It’s actually fairly simple they practice falling into the water from standing height and gradually they increase the height atleast for formal diving
Love the call back to that older story with the Hunters going into to the arena. I remember that story!
I love the idea of alien species beings scared of what humans find is fun. Because that means no matter where we go, we will never have to worry about finding another species crazier than us.
And when it comes to negotiations there is no one that is going to want to anger the suicidal, adrenaline-fueled monkeys
I hope reality turns out to be somewhere in the middle of humans being ridiculously overpowered or ridiculously outclassed. Where's the fun of space travel if you never have to face an existential threat to human existence? Or if everyone else is so ridiculously OP that you have to beg for their support on every little thing?
It’s probably not going to happen. Humans are relatively pretty crappy and weak.
@@RoxyTheReaper - compared to what though? And based on what variable?
@@nagillim7915 Technically? Compared to all the other primates we ARE the weakest of the bunch. Pound for pound a chimp ( our nearest still living genetic cousin ) could rip any one of us apart and not even be trying
@@MrGoesBoom - yeah but they can't run for toffee. No chimp is going to be running a marathon anytime soon. Strength is hugely overrated.
We love a jenkinsverse story! Listening to the main storyline on Zren's channel is always a joy.
Finding more narrations on the peripherals of it is a welcome surprise!
:)
He has restarted salvage
Human: I'm bored.
Alien: *Proceeds to jump out of airlock*
Human: ah. I see they've done their research.
Human: Maaaan...I'm bored!
Alien: *Jumps out of Airlock*
Human: Holly shit! That looked rad.
And that's how the next big Human extreme sport Jettison jumping was born. Where humans jump out of the protective shell of their spacecraft to the vacuum and absolute zero temperature of space competing who can endure it longer.
I've only just recently found this channel (as well a r/HFY) and i have to say these stories are fantastic. I never really liked short stories but now I'm spending far too much time binging these videos 😂 also, excellent narration!
Thank You!
This has been one of the most interesting Humans are Space Orks I’ve watched in a while
After listening to so many of these I have this head cannon that the word "human" translates directly to different horrible things in different alien languages and a few really good things in a couple others.
sounds about right
Hearing hockey described as ritual combat is absolutely fucking hilarious but also completely true.
Agro your voice is so soothing. I listen whenever my insomnia gets bad and I can't sleep. I just wanted to say thanks for that.
glad it helps
Waiting to see how the hfy people react when they realise we are apex hunters , not apex predators. Nice story by the way.
Glad you enjoyed
Predators are overrated. Half of them get killed or sick just eating plants.
Omnivores rule.
They should see the animals that humans are afraid of.
The difference between predator and prey is the willingness of something else to kill it. And humans have thoroughly taught everything on Earth that we're more willing to kill it then it is to kill us.
Thank you Agro for the reading. For the "AGRORITHM "
For the algorithm
Vesna Vulovic survived a fall from 10,160 meters. No wonder the greys watch us.
The next day Kar-ara gets asked by a human if she'd like to hang out. When asking what they would be doing the human replied "Fun activities" and smiled. This caused Kar-ara to faint and have to be transported back to her planet due to Trauma
lol
After seeing so many of these HFY stories, I think a POV of an alien civilization finding these stories written by humans and being utterly confused would be entertaining
lol I didnt even realize this was j-verse till they got to the part about hokey
same. Talking about the hunters was a dead give away though.
Each and every creature on this planet whose youth play: Our PLAY as juveniles is Learning to Hunt and Fight.
And then we mature. Humans have this thing called "Dance." And frankly, I have yet to meet a dance that couldn't be morphed into a decent Martial Arts move. ESPECIALLY the Folk Dances of most every culture.
And Humans aren't JUST Space Orcs: We're all also Crazy Eddies who Worship those with Survivor's Syndrome.
Crazy Eddie. Moties, man.
We are space Saxton Hales.
I remember a story where that was true. Dance / Martial Arts. One a form of the other. Sen-a-thar.
Imagine a bunch of aliens choosing Canada to invade because of how kind and nonviolent Canadians are, then accidentally landing in the middle of a championship hockey match preventing the home team from scoring a goal...
lol
That's an automatic beat down 🤣
Sod the players in that instance. It's the FANS that they should be worried about!
Kinda makes me want to see Kar-ara show these students a video of those divers swimming alongside Deep Blue. Heck, it freaks out more than a few Humans, so the thought of alien, non-Deathworlders watching it...
Just let us know how far you can go, I've had friends with all sorts of special handling requirements. Doesn't bother me none. We will find something to get up to. Take my hand and walk with me new friend and I will keep you safe even to the cost of my body. Yes, we do these things for fun but you should see how we can love!
Darn. Even our wildlife is classified to some of them. That’s pretty harsh.
Imagine these guys seeing a Mantis Shrimp punching something so hard it creates a flash of light.
I mean, Hippo's are basically just land whales with anger. So I'm not surprised.
@@Chokah Wait till they see a Duckbill Platypus
Makes sense to me. We have a lot of extremely poisonous and invasive flora and fauna. Imagine someone smuggling a colony of wasps off world and having it wipe out the ecosystem on a class 1 world.
In some cases I expect it is for their mental health. Imagine that herbivore seeing a video of lions. Trauma anyone?
wait until they hear that one of our oldest sports is literally just kicking the shit out of eachother.
Ritual combat is actually a good description of Hockey XD
yup
not always entirely ritual. Mostly ritual combat.
@@TrueFork Also true!
Every sport can be considered a form of ritual combat. The very fact that it's a form of competition, rather than cooperation, says a lot about us.
That teacher was enjoying the heck out of freaking out her students. For the algorithm!
For the algorithm
*class staring at a human sitting at a computer*: well this seems pretty normal
professor:" we will now discuss video games"
a part 2 of this would be nice. Would be interesting to hear about the Topics about wildlife and stuff that needs security clearance.
Elephant gun. Hand held artillery. Spear gun. Xenos gulp in dismay. Sh sh sharks?
An alien invasion force landing at a hockey match would be great fun to watch. They'd go through a lot of sticks though.
I'm trying to decide what music would go best with that... I was really thinking the Jaws theme song but it's not going to be long enough... I mean in the fight not the song.
@@leechowning2712 We will rock you, Queen, would my opinion of music to pummel aliens by.
yea i guess jumping from high height into water is impressive but what about parkour or free-run? ><
:3
"Humans climb these insane structures and then leap from structure to structure at high speeds, because they want too."
Maybe that would have terrified them all beyond rationality. Just seeing humans run a marathon on the street freaked them out without seeing them running on rooftops. They'd be having nightmares and calling for Earth to be glassed.
@@nagillim7915 Or leaping gaps up to 3 times their body length, roll along the ground as if they were badly injured and then hop up and keep running, all without stopping.
@@Chokah - they'd definitely be calling on their governments to be nuking us from orbit if they saw that without a primer...
@@nagillim7915 Now imagine them explaining free-diving "Humans can condition themselves to dive up to 30 meters in water without the aid of artificial respiration equipment."
I'm pretty sure fire breathers dont use petrol...?
I would think they would use ethanol or lamp oil instead... ?
i did think it was a mix of etanol petrol but i can be rong
@@petilounet
Mineral Petrol is cancerogenic, and I don't think alkylation petrol is much better.
There are various chemicals used. Petrol is one of them, but also naptha, lamp oil, alcohol and others. Any flammable hydrocarbon where it's the vapour and not the liquid itself that burns would do as the liquid actually provides some protection from burns inside your mouth.
It's actually grain alcohol, when I've seen them do it.
@@asurasyn Basically it depends on the budget of the program. Gasoline is the cheapest alternative but because it is fairly toxic most people don't use it. You will see it in regions where Street programs are still permitted, and a beggar just sitting beside the street would be considered too lazy to give any money to.
As a runner, other humans think we are nuts for running.
true
You are a little nuts... but I actually understand it a bit. During high school many years ago I actually got to the point where I achieved a runners high. I really wish I would have kept it up... then I could be a nut too. :D
You are!
Hunter alien landing in the middle of a hockey match? Damn, talk about a flashback from the past.
I remember reading/hearing that story a few years ago before the Plague started, and thought I would have forgotten about it until now.
Really enjoyed this one. As well the way how professor Kar ara was speaking and leading her exposition into humans. I imagined her looks be close to that of a Harpy, or mix of moth and a human when the detachable wing-hands were mentioned.
If there was another part of this I would love to hear that.
Would love to see a sequel to this one.
Thanks for another great reading of another great story!
A pleasure , glad you enjoyed
The xenos will learn to fear the human warcry "HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS!'
Ohhhh, I recognize this from the Deathworld's series.
I love this one off side story.
what an adorable side peek into the ongoings in that 'self absorbed hunters' universe
Heh, I love stories where aliens figure out how chaotic and insane humans and our biology is. And that's unenhanced humans baselines.
Found this channel a few days ago but loving every story
yes.
I hope there's a part 2. I wanna here the lecture on our wildlife. Lol especially Australia.
There is a fun story about aliens defeating humanity but now having to face our wildlife. Its great!
@@ChappyGrimdark name or link? Would like to check it out.
@@lukeshort2960 it is part of the "Deathworlder's" series. In the "Jenkins-verse".
In fact, the Hockey game where the Hunters were beaten (and literally torn limb from limb) was being broadcasted nationally across the US and Canada. Jenkin was watching it, no one believed him before about the alien abduction, but he started to describe how annoying the rest of the universe is.
Every other species evolved on "easy" planets, averaging class 4-6. Just throw seeds on the ground and get highly nutritious food.
A class-10 is a "deathworld", planets so hostile that it is thought that Sentient Life could not evolve there.
Earth is not that lucky though. Earth is a Class-12 "Deathworld". 10 times more deadly than a class-11. 100 times more deadly than even the lowest level of a Class-10 "Deathworld".
And. We. Survive.
Imagine invading earth and being the poor fucker that meets *a goddamned hockey player on ice* when stepping of the ship.
I'll never get tired of this type of story.
Alien: Truth or Dare.
Human: Dare.
Alien: You humans always pick Dare.
Humans laughing: We keep hoping you Dare us to do something INTERESTING.
Aliens: 🤯
"Humans are space Orcs." I can live with that. WAAAGH!
Humans are Space Orcs.
Until they start taking the "Crude"..
Then they turn into Space Ogres.🤣
I guess combat sports wasn't mentioned cos it would be too traumatizing to the audience :) Great story by the way!
I can just imagine how popular Steve Irwin's show would be in this greater galactic community
RIP
At the previous video, we are the first race existed in the Sol System so it makes me wonder if all of our creations had inherited the *crazy part* of our humanity just like the one in this video.
"Also, it is recommended that you study the 'Human Interactions Guide', specifically chapter 4: 'Human Reaction to Infantile Markers in Non-Human Species. Also known to humans as 'cute' or 'cuteness'. Those species with such traits may provoke reactions in unprepared humans that the deathworlders would interpret as affectionate and protective, but in reality could crush most species' bones into paste. Now, it's highly unlikely that you will meet any humans uneducated about other species' relative frailty, but for your safety it is required reading so that you may understand the reaction and how to short-circuit it."
"If that's how they treat things they want to protect, I don't want to see what they do to species that they don't like."
"That is covered in Chapter 5: 'Human Reactions to Threat Markers in other Sapient Species.' Also required reading, as several intelligent species bear superficial similarities to hostile and threatening animals and plants back on their homeworld and those of you unfortunate enough to look like something called a 'spider' are best advised to stay away from all humans without them being forewarned of your appearance first."
In arachnid-based species... The best advice would simply be avoid human space under all but life and death situations... Because even among trained humans there is still a psychosis known as arachnophobia... In which a human seeing you could respond by screaming, running or attempting to beat you to death.
Some 9 minutes in, I am guessing the reason for classifying Terra as class 12 deathworld will be what surprises the student the most. Ok, lets continue.
If the professor really wants to traumatize her students, she'll introduce them to the human libido. Imagine the nightmares caused when she explains that some humans will try to copulate with almost anything. Violently.
"is this a video about ritual hand to hand combat and subjugation?"
"no, it's their entertainment copulation video"
Wait I always thought the significance of the Marathon tale was that the dude pumped it so hard over the sprint that he died on arrival.
It seems more likely that he would he immortalized for that action too, having him run back in to the fight like nothing happen does make it sound like the person was more physically impressive but is a worse myth lol
Might be a different story. There's a similar story in the bible from pre-kingdom Israel (judges period) but I forget the exact details. I think that particular story might have had two runners fighting the entire time though.
I hope a few lessons down the road they get a sense of how docile some humans would be if in specific environments. Pacifistic and clinically depressed humans potentially finding themselves fitting in well with other cultures.
I get the feeling Professor Kar-ara _really_ loves her job.
Imagine if she explained videogames. Especially FPS games. to them it would seem like we basically train our young to be battlefield proficiently competent without actually risking there lives. When in reality. We do it cause we get bored.
Or rts or 4x games, how to fight and win battles or grow an empire
@@ettibbet5493 or Minecraft. Bc the children yearn for the mines
10 meter fall hitting hard ground though can also break bones, if a human lands wrong pelvis might be shattered as well as other vital protective bones.
That was a mind blowing story!
:)
I never thought of the goalie as a living target lol
Damn, i wanna hear a continuation of this
Love to see reaction of the wild life
I just found your channel and I got to say I've been stuck on it all day, great narration
"is a marathon run in a city called Boston"
*OH LORD!*
I had the same reaction.
I’m upset they didn’t write about actual combat sports, those are fun too😂 how about rockets?? They thought gasoline was “ill advised” how about rocket fuel.
"...unless dropping from a considerable height. ..." she says, not bothering to mention the thousands of ways people fall over 'nothing' and either cracking their skulls, or breaking their necks. Let's be honest tripping over ones own feet may be somewhat rare, but a cable sling on a construction side, the dog leash, or a humble carpet have been known to injure humans, if not even killing some by the means of an especially unfortunate fall. And then there's drowning in puddles...
YET! Some have become living shashlik by all kinds of accidents, while others where thrown about like ragdolls, or the 'occasional' 15m drop all of which were known to be survivable in "ertain circumstances", the later one I wouldn't recommend though, spinal injuries are nasty, having all bones pulverised is worse!
Look, that's the closest we have to natural selection in the developed world. We have to take what we can get.
I've heard this story a few times and only just realized it's part of the Jenkins universe.
Can confirm that rodeo bullfighters aren't right in the head.
Also, this was a nice little addition to the extended Jenkinsverse.
Humans: Hey, we're Humans, and this is JACKASS!
Aliens: WTF!!??
lol
These students sound like old British generals
No, jumping into water is not the same as hitting the ground. A 10m fall onto solid ground, unprepared, will most likely break alot of bones. 24 - 30m is most likely deadly. There are expectations, but these usaly involev glass, trees, powder snow and grass, a luxary most people dont have when falling from great highs. And, the actually highest fall a human survived, involved him landing at a glass sealing.
If the impact doesnt kill you by breaking all your bones and impale your organs with it, the drastic increase of G forces when your body at max speed hits the ground and goes from max to zero in seconds. What could also colapse a view important organs. And the head will also eventually experience the impact, even if softened by your squishyfied body.
I dont now the exact physics, but it should be obvious why water is much less dangerous than ground, since it can move around and offers much more space to despurte kenetic energy and is much better at slowly absorbing kenetic energy.
14:30 the writer has never watched a hockey game before
Do not let humans get bored. We will come up with something and use whatever is at hand to combat the boredom.
kind of want to join the wildlive study to be honest
Bulls have been ridden, saddles and all. Buffalo are still ridden in some parts of the world. Families in ox drawn carts in Scythia outran the Persian army, filling wells and burning crops ahead of them until the Persians were run ragged. When Darius sent a messenger ahead to tell them to turn and fight, they replied, "Go weep."
I'm not convinced we live on a death world... We however might make it a death world.
I'm just going to say this: Australia.
Florida
In the Setting, Earth is the second deadliest world in the Galaxy, a class 12 deathworld. Aliens visiting earth have(if they're even capable of handling the gravity) to wear the equivalent of MOPP gear, lest the bacteria, pollen and other airborne contaminants kill them.
@@machinist7230 I hadn't realised at the time that this was a part of Jenkins verse. Now that I do it makes a lot more sense.
best description of hockey ever
i would loved to have them watch katelyn ohashi perform gymnastics
Deathworlders Frick Yeah!
Jumping out of perfectly good aircraft is a blast. I did that for years in the US Army. Now go jump out of a helicopter with nothing but a rope to regulate your descent. That is beyond amazing. And yes, I was qualified to do that as well, and did it often.
really good perspective of human leisure time
:)
Other sports or recreational activities that miggh look dangerous or horrible to them
-Car/Bike racing
-Skying
-snow/skate boarding
-Paint ball/Airsoft
-HAMA
Tennis
-scubadiving
-Jetskying
-Weigthlifting
I was listening to this and when it got to the hockey game I started LOL so much I had my teenage kids asking why (they had been wearing headsets watching/doing something on their Android tablets. I gave a quick overview and my son asked where that hockey game was. I said I didnt know but thought Canada. He said ok that explains it, he then went back to what he was watching.
:)
According to what I can find... I'm at work so I really don't dare open the entire story section... It was the Stanley cup. The finals of the Stanley cup. There's nothing on Earth that'll make up for that. I don't care if they came in wearing gold armor. The two teams are going to stomp them out of existence. A halftime will be called while they clean up the ice. And the game will resume. You can tell the author is a North American because they consider a marathon to be the Pinnacle of human endurance... Where has anyone from South America or Europe or Africa would know that a soccer match is literally 2 hours of activity that would leave a herd species medically unfit... Just go get him whatever his species used as a sedative.
@@leechowning2712 90 minutes with a break in between two periods plus your walking or jogging when your not directly attacking the ball or defending and the average soccer player runs somewhere between 7.5 and 9 miles. meanwhile the fastest time anyone has ever run a marathon is in two hours with the average being around 4 and your running 26.2 miles 42.6km and that’s just a regular marathon there are ultra marathons which is any race over 26.2 miles and one race is over 3100 miles though not all at once triathlons which is about 51.5 km of running biking and swimming and there’s also the eco challenges where the last one was 416km non stop using a map and compass and a dozen other similar races. While a marathon might not be the pinnacle of human endurance soccer isn’t even close.
Don't worry little fragile alien friends, we're probably studying how not to break you if we don't _have_ to.