Hi Ruby, as a mostly silent viewer, I want to say that I’ve always been subscribed for YOU. The way you articulate thoughts, share your passion and love for literature, writing, travel, studying, all things cosy etc etc. Try to always follow your intuition and what is right for you. Had you not, maybe you would have never started this channel and pumpkin productivity. As an overthinker myself, it helps to write everything down (much like what you do) and then stick with the decision, knowing that self-doubt and maybe even rumination are a natural by-product. If we were to know our future paths, we would never learn or experience life’s ups and downs and its little mysteries and blessings. Happy 2025 Ruby, you will continue to be brilliant in all of your endeavours 🎉🥰
I believe you're making a smart choice by waiting to start your PhD. It's never too late to pursue one! I began mine at 36 and will complete it next year at 41. Live your life the way you want-your PhD will still be there when you’re ready. A PhD is truly a marathon, whereas a master's degree feels like a sprint in comparison. You need to be prepared, resilient, and passionate for at least four years. 😊 Also, the PhD content doesn't matter to me; I follow this channel for you, regardless of your projects. Wishing you an amazing 2025!
Hey Ruby, I really respect your decision to wait another year to pursue your PhD. I started my master this year immediately after finishing my master and when looking back, I think taking a break between degrees is so beneficial to kind of "reset" your brain. Lots of luck to you in the new year:)
Never feel the need to justify your decisions to anyone else, what's right or wrong to you is the important thing. I think a year doing other things, and a year becoming older and wiser will make your PhD experience even better! It's just a year, it'll fly by. So don't worry or question yourself over whether you've made the right decision. It's just something to look forward to in the future when you've got everything in place ready to take it on. 😊
As a former university instructor in an MA program I think it is often a very good decision to have some time before pursuing another degree- life experience can often deepen and add layers to your next endeavor.
The best advice about decisions is to know there are very few paths that are ever truly closed off...the future will almost always allow you the time and space to return to them. Exams can always be retaken, there will be a chance to redo that interview, and whatever it is, next time round you'll be that bit better placed as you'll have the experience of the first time. Most importantly, do what interests you and what you feel is the best at the time.
Hi Ruby, I’ve been watching your videos since you were about 16 and I was still in high school but I’ve never commented. However, as a final year PhD student in sociology, I have to say, you have made the absolute best decision. When I finished my masters I also had a year long break before continuing with a PhD. The thing is, burn out is not a joke and we have to take it seriously. No matter how much we like learning,it’s good to go out and experience the other side of life a little bit, to get work experience or just do something different for a while to really see what other opportunities life holds. I guarantee that by the time you go back to school again, you will be even more excited and feel more ready than ever. Also, there’s a timeline for everyone. Some people start their PhD journey in their 20’s and some in their 50’s. And both are alright because it aligns with their lives and it doesn’t define their worth. A PhD is a long and tiring journey ( despite how great it is) full of ups and downs in an academic setting that is not always fair and kind of rigid, so you have to be fully ready to start both mentally and emotionally. So congrats on your decision and best of luck to you in the future!
It’s always wise to wait for a PhD! There is truly no rush. I had a big gap between my masters and PhD and I think the extra maturity and reflection meant I was better equipped to start the thesis. You’ll get there when it’s right for you.
Well done on making that tough decision Ruby, doing a PhD is not easy and you have to be ready and sure, so it sounds like you did the right thing to delay! It took 7 years for me to finish my literature PhD part time alongside working and caring responsibilities and it was a slog! I know it’s hard when overthinking clouds the waters of your mind but trust yourself and your instincts. Wishing you a happy new year and all good things for 2025.
I am proud of you for heeding yourself and your mental care and other circumstances in your life before diving into your PhD. I, too, had to come to that decision in my mid-20s for mental health, financial, personal, and life reasons, and it is NOT easy. Ultimately it has turned out well for me that I stopped when I did and although I haven't gone back yet (I am 38), I don't regret the decision at all in hindsight. For me, it opened many avenues and areas of my life that had gotten shut off under the strain and devotion of studying (I am also a perfectionist and an English Literature major) and I feel I am now a more well-rounded and happier person for it. I will forever be a lifelong learner, so I think that is important to keep in mind, the distinguishment between learning and formalized education, and recognize that it says no less about you as a curious mind and intellectual whether you formalize it with a PhD or not, and whenever that may happen, whether now or in the future. I hope that made sense and helps. ❤
Happy new year Ruby! I've been following you since I was in pre-uni and pretty much have grown up along with you in our uni years. Just want to say a big thank you XD. My personal view about decision-making is that 'feeling right and comfortable' is just as important as the common 'advantages and disadvantages' way of thinking. The feeling itself and the deep reasons behind 'feeling right' are reasonable factors for decision-making, although they might not be 'right' in a common sense. They matter to you and that's the most important thing. Also I wanna share some words from my co-supervisor that I still feel really encouraging: 'You missed every opportunity in the past except for the one you took. You equivalently miss every opportunity in the future except the ones you will. Both are infinite.' We couldn't truly imagine how better or worse those infinite paths are. So to me, 'just do the next right thing' is my current mantra when I find myself struggling with lots of 'what if' s.
Don’t know about anyone else, but I am here for YOU Ruby! I’m excited for when your phd journey begins, but in the meantime I could watch you do anything 🩷
I often feel there are no right decisions in many choices in life. Both decisions could be right in the right circumstances. But you still have to make a decision. You make a decision that feels best for you in that moment based on the information you have, and that’s good enough, you can’t ask for anything better. I find this idea comforting as it frees me from feeling like every decision I make has to be “right”, instead they just have to be decisions that make sense in that moment. I’ve been very guilty of procrastinating decisions so much in the past that I lose the chance to even make a decision. Now I just try to pick and move on, I know it’s better than not deciding at all. I still feel the panic, but it’s easier to calm and keep moving. I had to make a similar decision this year to intermit from my university course. It was hard, it was my dream and I’d worked so hard to be there, there wasn’t a clear right choice but I made my choice and I feel okay with it.
Hi Ruby, I enjoy your videos because they always make me stop and think. I sometimes feel I have rushed through my life and I at the right old age of 59. I am starting to reflect on things I did or didn’t do. I suppose that’s partly because I’ve got terminal cancer And that has caused me just to think backwards and then forwards. I possibly have 2 to 4 years of activity left, hopefully. So I’m spending time thinking about what things to leave my children, how to lead them to, how to advise them, how to get them to avoid The disasters that I had, but I know even with my advice they will make their own decisions and I do tell them this - when you make a decision you’re at a crossroads and you have choices some of which might be right and some of which might be wrong. When you make a choice and come up with a final decision, ‘own’ that decision and make it yours. If you have spent time reflecting, thinking about what the rights and wrongs are, considering the merits of other peoples’ decisions then it will be the right decision for you. I did my PhD from 1994 to 1997 when I was 32 and at that time was one of the youngest people to have done a PhD in Nursing. I can’t say I loved every minute of it because I didn’t. It challenged me with the subject matter, the supervisor, the University processes, the other students’ that I met. But walking across the graduation stage and on very many times since that I have been immensely proud of myself for having done it and completed it. Even now, sitting here this evening, I am so proud of myself for having done it. You make your decision Ruby, ‘own’ it, which you are doing, and then when you get to next year you can revisit that decision and see if things have changed for you. When students came to me for advice around PhD study, I always told them a PhD is a research training. You’re not expected to be perfect at the start and you certainly won’t be perfect by the end of it, but you will have had a massive learning curve which will change your mind forever. Having listened to your podcasts, I think you would be an amazing PhD candidate and I hope you don’t leave it too long before you start. You are inspiring me to try and document some things for my children and that is something I have struggled with. The more I listen and get through your back catalogue of podcasts, I am starting to see what I need to write and how I need to write it. So thank you for being an inspiration to me. I think that when we sit here this time next year, will maybe have started your PhD and I will be recording and writing things for my children. In the meantime, please keep being you and the PhD will come along on its own good time. Happy New Year to you and your family.🎉
I also overthink a lot about making decisions and most of it I found that I overthink not for myself but for others opinion of my decision. I have already decided for myself but then I would think what others think of my decision, would they think I'm wasting my potential? then I realized how I let the world influence me so much. I find peace in knowing that it's okay to be uncertain at times because of course this is our first life and we wanted it to be the best it can be, and whenever I found myself overthinking every possible way a moment can happen I try to remind myself that now is not the end, and the present is not the finished line, if there's a new day, I could always begin again.
Whenever you looked forward to anything pleasant you were sure to be more or less disappointed...that nothing ever came up to your expectations. Well, perhaps that is true. But there is a good side to it too. The bad things don't always come up to your expectations either...they nearly always turn out ever so much better than you think. L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea
Wonderful video. When I was about 32 / 33 years old, I realized that I have to make my own decisions and choices for my life, and not care for what anyone else thinks. It’s my life, not anyone else’s. This was a game-changer moment for me. I realize you are younger than this, but I share this because I think everyone comes to this conclusion. It’s very freeing. Trust yourself, and don’t worry about what others think. As others have stated, the PhD will be there when your ready, and we’ll be with you for the journey. I also like what your Mom said about the word ‘should’… it tends to be a very destructive word, and therefore SHOULD be avoided most of the time. 😉❤️🌹
Hello Ruby! I’ve been following your journey since we were both in high school. This month, I finally finished my master’s in fiction and publishing, and it’s wild how different I feel now that I’m not worried about the next assignment. Reading and writing have always been my passions, but by the end of grad school, I could barely open a book unless it was required. If you’ve ever watched Kiki’s Delivery Service, that’s exactly how I felt when Kiki lost her desire to fly-it used to be her everything, and suddenly she wanted nothing to do with it. When I was a kid, I’d see that scene and think, Sure, that happens to other people, but it’ll never happen to me. Yet there I was, “overcooked,” with too many hands reshaping my work until I didn’t want to create anymore-didn’t even want to touch my own stories or anyone else’s. But in the few weeks since defending my thesis, I can already feel that old spark returning. I’ve finished two books this week, which is huge considering I barely read anything cover to cover in 2024 beyond class assignments and countless rewrites of my own work. I’ve reconnected with fellow readers, made a list of new books I’m excited about, and I feel awake again. All of this is to say: you’re right to take your time. This isn’t a race, and you’ve built a community of such kind, supportive people that I can’t imagine anyone being anything but proud of your progress. Enjoy yourself. Breathe. Rediscover the things you love without anyone looking over your shoulder. After all, once you earn that PhD, you’ll need to know how to keep going-and keep loving what you do-without the structure of being a student. You’ve got this and we're all cheering!
As far as decision-making: trust your gut. Listen to the Still, Small Voice. Every time I have ignored or overridden my instincts, it has bitten me in the butt. You've made the right call.
Hi Ruby! 🎉 I am a bit older than your “usual” audience. I want to say that your maturity impresses me. Your decision to embark on a PhD is YOUR decision. Personally, I think you made the right decision to wait a bit longer. I would rather be excited than regret rushing into it. God bless! You have a fan in the States!!!! ❤
Hello Ruby! I’m more of a silent viewer and have been watching your videos since I began my undergraduate degree. I recently graduated with said degree in Psychology. I recently had a similar experience to you where I decided to take some time away from school and pursue a masters later down the line, as I am highly burnt out. It is a massive decision, especially as a lover of academia and helping others through the field. However, if I learned anything from my undergrad, it is that you cannot help others without first caring for yourself. So far, I am loving the freedom of being able to finally pour the passion I’ve been pouring into everything else, into myself. Also, your videos on journaling and writing inspired my undergrad thesis on the crossroads between journaling/ written expression and social-emotional behaviors in college students, which I passed with high honors and distinction. Never doubt your impact on others, you are beyond inspiring! Cheers to this new chapter! 🤍
Hi Ruby, thanks as always for your honesty. As someone also in the midst of making a difficult decision, here are a couple of things I have to say that may or may not relate to anyone reading depending on their circumstances. 1. Sometimes we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be role models or to 'prove' that someone like us can do something (e.g., that women can do xyz...). It is good to want to be a role model, but it only goes so far. At the end of the day, we just have to lead our own lives. We are unique individuals, much more than the statistics or demographics that we fall into. We just have to do our best. 2. Taking responsibility for our own decisions is very liberating. Of course this requires that you actually are in a position where you can make your own decisions and not be forced into them by other people. But to a reasonable extent, we all have control over some aspects of our lives. Think hard before you make a decision, but once that's done, don't blame anyone else. It is a little paradoxical - but not having anyone to blame can be very liberating.
here i was thinking my respect for you couldnt grow any more. your choice to not do the PhD this year is so fair, and your honesty is so admirable. Thankyou for always being a fantastic rolemodel and helping me find my way in the world. I wish you so much peace and happiness in 2025 and for your future PhD endeavors, youll know when the time is right.
The decision you have made Ruby is the right one for you. We cant live in the 'what ifs' world but the one were living in now. Your PHD will be waiting for you when your ready. Take this time to reevaluate, recharge and enjoy. Trust in yourself Ruby.❤
I’ve just realized how wise it is to film how you organized your room and where everything are kept now. Anytime you need to find something, you just have to watch this video! No need to open every single drawer, door, folder and box to find your stuff! 👏👏👏👏 I’m decluttering my own place too and I will definitely do the same thing!
✨🎀🕯☕️RUBY YOU MADE THE RIGHT DECISION IN WAITING. SELF CARE IS WAAAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN FURTHER SCHOOL. That can wait. Self care CANT! HAPPY NEEW YEAR GRANGERS☕️🎀🕯✨
Lots of great comments here. I say to the road not taken; could have been worse, could have been better, could have been the same, so trust in your present choice because the weather is constantly changing and the conditions might be perfect later 😊 Best of luck xx
Hello Ruby. Your choice is made harder, I am sure, by the fact that you share part of your life with us. Well done for following what you feel is right for you. And All the Best for a happy , healthy, creative and enjoyable 2025.🌷
I am also a chronic over thinker, so I completely understand your nagging doubts. However, I think you have fabulous instincts and that you should trust them. There is a reason you decided to wait - if there wasn't this wouldn't even be an issue. We all think we have so much control over our lives, when really we don't. You fill each day with so much wonder, purpose, learning and sharing. No matter what you do, you can't do better than that. Thank you so much for all of your wonderful videos!
Hi, a chronic overthinker here! 😂 Life's taught me that there's no way of knowing which option is better for you; you will tell in the future. In this sense, PhDs are hard. You need to be mentally strong enough to carry on with years of researching and writing. My idea was to finish my master's and start my PhD, but mental health comes first. There is no hurry: do it at your own pace. Your PhD application and the program will still be there. I support your decision. Happy new year!! ❤
What you talked about in the end about decisions, is so importat to talk about and you said it so well. Often when we make decisions and for example things dont go how we hoped or things are hard we automatically asume that the other choice would of been better. Even though, like you said we can never know witch paths we take is the "right one". We can only make decision based on current situation, mood, skills etc. and I belive, in that way all the decision are right, they take us where we are now and makes us who we are. P.s. I also wanted to say i follow you, for YOU
I treasure the concept of “new beginnings”, and that is why I value the New Year. During the Holidays, I focus on the condition of my daily life, health, etc: I sit down and journal and get in touch with myself. I set an essential focus for the New Year; more like a theme than a resolution. There are some areas where I have to get more detailed, like weight loss, or exercise. I have to convince myself that it’s important and break things down into simple steps. At the end of 2025 I will evaluate if I have moved forward. If I’m able to give myself a pat on the back, it feels pretty good.
Hi Ruby, I personally just love how you talk and the study content is a bonus. However its so interesting to me to see how phd works in other countries so maybe you could just talk in some vlog about the system? Because where Im from (Czechia) we basically can have phd as long as we need and I also think that it remains free same as our lower university programs (if Im not mistaken it can even be payed in some cases). So there is some pressure of course, but mostly people can be already working full time while pursuing it and it can take even like 8 years or more. There is essentially no pressure in the end date, you just need to pass your exams (of which there arent many). So yea I think most of us would be interested in you talking more about the systems and why you want to put it for next year etc, probably not many of us here who experienced phd at Oxford. No pressure though and thank you so so much for all the content you put out last year, wish you all the luck in this one :)
Ruby as someone who is a lot older than you, I have looked back at decisions I have made and also my children, " if only" isn't helpful, I say to myself as some decisions have brought happiness and have been productive , others not so, but I really believe that we are meant to be where we are and that there is a reason and we don't know how that may be a positive, surprisingly good decision. Trust in the unfolding. Your channel is one of my favourites, I love learning from your intellect and your trips are always so interesting and again I learn so much. You have made the decision, it's done, I hope that you can move forward and may 2025 bring much joy, happiness and peace into your life. Much love 🙏 💖 🎄🌟
Ruby, I certainly believe that people subscribe to you because of the absolutely brilliant, magnificent, and kindhearted person that you are. I'm proud of you for having the courage to make such a big decision, and if anyone is judgmental about it, just remember that people often project their own insecurities onto others. Happy New Year!💖
You are absolutely amazing! I follow you because of your passion for life, and you should never apologize for taking life on your time scale. You are a beautiful and wonderful person! ❤❤❤
Hi Ruby, I have been watching you since your undergraduate journey in Exeter, I had just started work fresh out of undergraduate then and your videos helped me shift my perspective on how university life could be fun albeit the stress with courseworks and exams, but at the time I was truly burnt out and afraid to start masters right out from undergraduate as I assumed that studying and being in university wasn't for me and entered into the workforce during lockdown, still remember putting your videos on while working from home. But 3 years later, I've decided to give it a try to apply for masters, and was glad that I did. I just started my first semester in October and I am discovering my new found love in studying and learning. You are a true inspiration to many of us, in helping us rediscovering our passion for studying, your ideas and articulation on your courseworks, books and staying organised etc. Don't worry about not starting your PHD soon, sometimes a break is much needed and you may come back with a whole different perspective to start this new journey ahead. Happy New Year to you!
Hi Ruby! I also struggle with decision making, and from my experience I can tell you that, strangely, deep down we know what the right decision is for us at that moment. Could there be a better one? Maybe, or maybe not. But we have to trust ourselves in that decision and be open to the path that is presented to us! I think that when we then look back, there is always something about that possibility that was opened up for us that we can learn from and that made us experience incredible things. The perfect decision does not exist, any decision that we make with judgment will not take us to the best destination, but it will surely lead us to a good one and that is enough.
It is always important to follow your gut, and if you feel it's not the right time for you to do your PhD, that's the right choice. Really enjoyed this video, and it has given me some inspiration. Love some of your ideas about letters to yourself, etc. I would love a video on the different notebooks you have and their uses. Wishing you and your family the most wonderful 2025.😊
Quick observation, so nice to see that someone else holds a pen / pencil with 4 fingers like me, instead of the typical 3 fingers. Ive always felt self-conscious of how I hold a pen or pencil when writing, that what I was doing was not correct, so it made me happy to spot Ruby holding her pencil like I do.
A doctoral program is a big commitment. Don’t begin until you’re truly ready, or else you risk major stress and burnout. Also, banish the word “should.” We’re all on an individual path-there is no “should,” only what’s best for you.
I find all of your content so thoughtful and inspiring, no matter what decisions you make I am always interested in your process and purpose. You should always do what is correct for you. Your life is so very different from mine, and I love getting a perspective from someone who is able to live so intentionally. Of course, I come to realize that we can all live intentionally, as we all have decisions to make about the resources we have and what life throws at us. I had never heard of commonplacing until your channel, and I realized I was already doing this digitally. However, I love the idea of your analogue practice, and I've been inspired by this to work on improving my handwriting, with the idea that I will begin this slower, more intentional method. I work and live in a very digital environment, and it's nice to find ways to exist in the real world. To that end I also took up film photography as a hobby a few years ago. Thank you for your inspiration and thoughtfulness, and may you have a successful New Year in your bingo card!
I’d never unsubscribe from your channel just because you have decided to do your PhD later on. Your content is awesome academic or cozy or travel. I love all of it. No need to explain yourself. You do you Ruby!! ❤❤ love from Australia 🇦🇺
Dear Ruby, I've been following your channel for sometime,now but, as a PhD candidate myself, felt I had to comment. First and foremost,you must do what is right for YOU. I could tell you stories of my experience to date, both good and bad, but they are stories only relevant to me. Each experience of doctoral study is singularly unique, because you, with the assistance of your supervisors, are essentially teaching yourself to become an expert in your field. Since you are possessed of tremendous skill in organisation, to say nothing of amazing discipline, I believe that you will not only square up to the challenges that producing a PhD represent,but that you will conquer them absolutely. I agree that such depth of study isn't a decision that shouldn't entered into lightly, but dont, above all else ,overthink- nothing is more ruinous to your well-being. You just carry on being sweet, gentle wonderful you, providing inspiration and endless cups of tea to those of us in the process of slaying the thesis monster ( for so I have named mine) and those of us who simply enjoy watching you living a cosy life. A Happy New Year to you. May it be filed with joy, wonder and curiosity. 😊
As a person, I tend to love making decisions. I think one reason why is that no matter what decision I make, I know that the creative act of living will have the same substance whichever choice I make. It is the creative impulse that matters, that is consistent, and this is what I will be doing no matter what. For example, if I buy one canvas or another, it is still myself that paints the picture so the incidentals of choices of paint, subject matter, canvas will be tools behind the inspiration pouring forth, whatever form it takes. Hopefully this makes sense. This may have to do with my own temperament and might not apply to everyone. But to take a leap and go for it without doubting seems like the potent act, not this way or that way. Concentration and faith, not specifics--the artist's thumbprint will always be the same, authentic mark. God bless you and keep you...
I love the idea of a bingo card game for New Year’s resolutions. I love games and the idea of them so I’ve decided to gameify 2025 with points and levels and rewards to motivate my resolutions and goals while also keeping a realistic balance.
I don’t usually comment on many videos but just wanted to say that even though I’m a bit older your videos always inspire me and I will be continuing to watch your content whatever you choose to post. It is clear that postponing your PHD was a really hard decision to make but I am sure that you will have a year of different but just as rewarding experiences. I am just one stranger but I am very happy I found your channel :)
In terms of content, just happy to see you grow as a person and learning from your perspective and experiences. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. If you want to take a break from UA-cam, you might be able to reorganize your life in ways that are really rewarding. Hope you stay open to it, especially if you need it. Happy New Year :)
You could wait 2 or 3 years. But I think 1 year is a perfect wait period. Many commentors agree. Can we be all wrong? Being a PHD candidate takes so much effort and intense focus. When the time is right, you'll know. You will feel at peace and settled spiritually when it's right. I am not here for your Masters, Doctorate, etc. I am here to see YOU. If every posting was working in your journal, taking walks and study/read with me, I'd be thrilled. Of course, throwing in some book talk would be ab-fab. The RG fan fam is just happy seeing what you're doing. Just "Hoovering" is fine. And ephemeral organization makes me happy.
the place I always turn for advice is the Dear Sugars podcast. They don't bring out new episodes anymore but you can still find the back catalogue - they're two of my favourite authors (Cheryl Strayed and Steve Almond) discussing questions sent in by listeners on all aspects of life. They always seem to have the wisest ideas, and I'm sure they've got an episode on decision making. Failing that, I think you might like the podcast anyway!
I'm a chronic over-thinker as well, and what you said on the matter at the end is so helpful and encouraging! This entire upload was a true and pure delight as always. 💛
Hi Ruby. For many years in my teaching, counsel, and writing, I have offered the following advice: Ask who and why first, then what, when, and where. We Americans invert those all the time. We must first ask who do I want to be and why.? Then, we will receive greater clarity as to what we should do, when we should do it, and where.
I really like your channel! Love the bookish travels...its okay to give yourself a break from academics. People actually learn more away from the classroom!
Congratulations on making such a mature and thoughtful decision for yourself. We all see your ability and dedication to your education and know that you have so much to offer the academic world. I know that you see it from the student perspective of learning and so forth, but they will gain so much from your knowledge and ability too. You have a lifetime to give to academia and writing, or anything that you want to pursue, there is no reason to rush it if you don’t need to do that. Enjoy learning what you want to learn and in your way. You will know when it is the right time. In the meantime, your content is still terrific and refreshing. Happy New Year to you and your family! ❤🎉
Each time I feel stressed about academics, I remember your various videos where you talk about mental health. Thanks for always reminding us that academics is just one part of our life, not all of it :)
I just wanted to quickly thank you for your openness on tough decisions in this video. I'm currently trying to pick what to study in uni and it's so difficult!
It’s probably a quote from somewhere but it’s been something I’ve said a lot over the last month - “it wouldn’t be a choice if it was easy”. I made a difficult choice to make a career switch, and I’m seeking solace in the fact that either option is a path to take and I’ve now weighed out and decided on one.
I believe that resolutions, having a vision of what's best for you and how you want to transform, is one step towards manifesting higher order. It's an implicit recognition that the order exists, that there is such a thing as "good" or "just." So it shouldn't stop at that, but it's a valuable step - better than not exercising your free will to imagine what can be and working towards it.
I think it’s wonderful you are waiting to go back to school. Taking this time to let all your educational knowledge and experiences bake in, will make your PHD quest that much sweeter.
Happy New Year! The desk tour was really nice. I need to organize mine too. My grandmother started sending me handwritten letters during the pandemic. I ought to put them all together for easy re-reading.
You could make a self printed book of them like Ruby does….can’t remember which software she uses, and give them to family as gifts. What a nice thing for your Grandmother to do!
Dear Ruby, I am so proud of you!! It can be so hard to say 'no' to something we want, even though we know it's simply not the right time. Thank you for sharing & can't wait to see what you get up to in 2025💝
Well done on your decision Ruby. It's so important to look after yourself and do what you need. You have the rest of your life to do a PhD. Life is full of pressures and it sounds like you are hard on yourself already. Your honesty is admirable and touching. Also, please could you add a link to your calendar as I wanted to look the artist up? Thank you.
Dear lovely Ruby, you have made one of the biggest decisions of your life. It’s the right decision for right now. Now you must own it without concern for others and remind yourself that today it’s right. Tomorrow it will be right too. But at some point it will cease to be right and when that happens you will make a new decision. In the meantime you will have the time and space to continue prepping for your next academic challenge. As someone who has traversed a few more of life’s challenges by virtue of age I hope my experience is helpful. Regards, Peta 🇦🇺💜
Dear Ruby, as a chronic overthinker who struggles with decisionmaking, I often think just listening to your gut feeling is always best. And to keep in mind that there are no truly „wrong“ decisions in life, because even if you end up regretting it later, you still learned from it and it brought you further along in your personal journey. I wish you all the best!
Sending support for your decision, Ruby! I think the extra year of life and work experience, as well as your own personal academic development will only contribute to a better PhD experience when you feel ready. As you said, you never know if you've made the right decision, but I try to always tell myself, "you made the best decision you could with the information you had at the time." That's all you can do! Even if it turns out to be the "wrong" decision, you can't beat yourself up for not being able to predict the future. As long as you've put solid thought into your choice, you've done everything you could reasonably be expected to do in making a good decision. You know yourself best! Happy New Year!
Hi Ruby, thanks for all the videos in 2024. I somehow feel like I'm finding myself in your shoes regarding the PhD journey. I'm just freshly finished my MA during this year and decided to defer my PhD until the next cycle or two, just few weeks before you mentioned turning down the offer in another video. I think I really feel why you decided to do so, and, believe that some year break will definitely worth it. I believed so many of us subscribers is here because of you, even it is the daily vlog like I just started subscribing to your channel in like, 2016? It's okay to be just you. We respect every of your decision. Best of luck in 2025!
I am a relatively new subscriber, and considerably older than you, but I find your videos very inspiring. I think you are living the life I always thought I would live, but never did. You make me aspire to be more thoughtful. Also you remind me of many goals that I had when I was young, in particular the study of great literature. I’m hoping to get back into those goals and spend my time on more ‘serious’ activities. Please know that I will follow you regardless of the type of content you present because I just find you and your outlook on life so interesting. Thanks so much for the hard work you put into these videos. I wish you all the best and every happiness in the future. 😊
I love any video you make! So I can not wait to see the next no matter the subject. I am so thankful I found your account a few months ago. You are super insightful and have also helped me take pause in my everyday life. Thank you for sharing your world Ruby!
one of my resolutions is tracking down one positive and kind thing everyday that I’ll do or say! I want to feel less on end and more easygoing, and I think that this is a good place to start
Hi Ruby, I just wanted to say you have to be ready for a PhD. I started mine this year and it is fun but STRESSFUL let me tell you. Take a break like I did for a few years and you will enjoy it more!
When it comes to postcard storage, have a look for wooden card filing box A6 landscape, for 900 cards. I love those old style wooden storage boxes. I love your content, I often play your videos in the background when I am getting ready in the morning, as they give me a good vibe to start my day. I am so much older than you, and I am now at the point of my life where I let go of all my treasures and reduce my possessions to a bare minimum. But watching you brings back memories of the time where I loved to collect postcards, keep al these little bits and pieces and collect all the letters from my friends.
Ruby, I'm a lot older than you -- 57 to be exact -- but I find a lot of inspiration from your videos. Mostly in the area of researching, writing and note-taking. I visited Oxford this year and I think that's how UA-cam helped me discover you. One thing that might be factoring into your anxiety and sleepless nights is the difference between being on a track to apply that is full of deadlines and requirements, and a track where you're shelving that stuff. So you're primed to be thinking about deadlines and then every time one comes up it's a mini-anxious moment, slash reminder of your decision. I suppose all decisions are that way, but his one doesn't seem to have an task on one side and no task on the other if that makes sense. Thank you for showing so much of your life on video, and your mom is absolutely right about the word "should"!
This is so incredibly wise, and now that you’ve said this, I know you’re completely right! Genuinely, thank you for taking the time to write such a lovely message x
Happy New Year, Ruby! I always enjoy your desk organization--seeing so much ephemera and stationery brings me joy and makes me want to be creative. And do not listen to anyone who says you have made the incorrect choice about your PhD when only you can know yourself. You got this! ❤
I agree with you about December, Ruby. All my routines drift away too, but maybe that's what we need in order to bring in the new. I have no doubt that you have made the right decision about your PHD. We only see a tiny bit of your life and so no one here has any right to question what you've decided. When I have a hard decision make I flip a coin and then notice what my immediate reaction is to what the coin chooses. I don't necessarily follow what the coin says but it gives me information about layers of myself that I might not be fully in contact with. I find it helpful. And you're right. There are no wrong decisions. All will be well. I am looking forward to seeing where your journey takes you next year. I wanted to say thank you for your academic planner too. I am 58 but bought my first one this year and have found it so so helpful. It really is the perfect planner. Thank you!
I like to set a feeling for the year, a vibe so to say, for example 2024 was a year for pushing towards my career goals, being ambitious and taking on new projects, whereas this year I'm shifting towards mindfulness and self love and care. I then set goals for the week that fits that overall vibe. Love you Ruby, always love your content
For me, New Year’s resolutions are sort of like a life reset or goal reset, just like the one we tend to do on September. So I reevaluate my life and goals on December (New years) and September (start of the term). I think it’s a bit weird to wait until new years to start resolutions or goals, cause why not start now. But I take it as a reset that doesn’t necessarily start January 1st, it could start before or after. So I understand both perspectives, I guess I just meet them in the middle. And I’m also here for you (everything you do inspires me), not necessarily academic content ❤ I love your sweater at the start of the video I feel like you made the right decision and you’ll feel more confident about it in the future. My tip when it comes to making decisions, which is something I struggle with as well, is not putting so much value on what happens externally, because externally things are gonna look very different if you make a decision versus another, but internally it’s really not gonna be so different because you’re always gonna be you and you’re always gonna like what you like and experience things in your own unique way. That’s what helps me feel at peace with my decisions. I wish you an amazing 2025 ❤
Hello Ruby, for storage of post cards I can really recommend a first day cover album (for stamps). Plenty are available online, and they usually have space to add comments. Most also have replaceable pages. Hope that is useful, and I really like your videos! All the best for 2025.
Good decision making Ruby! I waited two years and am in a PhD equivalent program now. Best decision ever! I would have never made it through with the burn out I was feeling after undergrad. Good job taking care of yourself ❤️
Happy new year Ruby🤍 A break is always a good idea, time for things and people you love! I decided on a study delay for uni and still struggle feeling guilty even though i know its the best decision for my health atm🥺
Happy New Year, Ruby! 🎉 I hope 2024 brings you an abundance of health, happiness, and success in everything you do. May this year be filled with creativity, joy, and all the good things you deserve. Looking forward to seeing more of your amazing content and wishing you continued growth and fulfillment.
Hi Ruby, as a mostly silent viewer, I want to say that I’ve always been subscribed for YOU. The way you articulate thoughts, share your passion and love for literature, writing, travel, studying, all things cosy etc etc.
Try to always follow your intuition and what is right for you. Had you not, maybe you would have never started this channel and pumpkin productivity.
As an overthinker myself, it helps to write everything down (much like what you do) and then stick with the decision, knowing that self-doubt and maybe even rumination are a natural by-product. If we were to know our future paths, we would never learn or experience life’s ups and downs and its little mysteries and blessings.
Happy 2025 Ruby, you will continue to be brilliant in all of your endeavours 🎉🥰
This!!
wow!
I agree ❤
I believe you're making a smart choice by waiting to start your PhD. It's never too late to pursue one! I began mine at 36 and will complete it next year at 41. Live your life the way you want-your PhD will still be there when you’re ready. A PhD is truly a marathon, whereas a master's degree feels like a sprint in comparison. You need to be prepared, resilient, and passionate for at least four years. 😊 Also, the PhD content doesn't matter to me; I follow this channel for you, regardless of your projects. Wishing you an amazing 2025!
Congrats, Doctor!
@ thank you very much, soon soon now :)
Completely agree
Hey Ruby, I really respect your decision to wait another year to pursue your PhD. I started my master this year immediately after finishing my master and when looking back, I think taking a break between degrees is so beneficial to kind of "reset" your brain. Lots of luck to you in the new year:)
Never feel the need to justify your decisions to anyone else, what's right or wrong to you is the important thing. I think a year doing other things, and a year becoming older and wiser will make your PhD experience even better! It's just a year, it'll fly by. So don't worry or question yourself over whether you've made the right decision. It's just something to look forward to in the future when you've got everything in place ready to take it on. 😊
Thank you so much x
As a former university instructor in an MA program I think it is often a very good decision to have some time before pursuing another degree- life experience can often deepen and add layers to your next endeavor.
The best advice about decisions is to know there are very few paths that are ever truly closed off...the future will almost always allow you the time and space to return to them. Exams can always be retaken, there will be a chance to redo that interview, and whatever it is, next time round you'll be that bit better placed as you'll have the experience of the first time. Most importantly, do what interests you and what you feel is the best at the time.
Hi Ruby, I’ve been watching your videos since you were about 16 and I was still in high school but I’ve never commented. However, as a final year PhD student in sociology, I have to say, you have made the absolute best decision. When I finished my masters I also had a year long break before continuing with a PhD. The thing is, burn out is not a joke and we have to take it seriously. No matter how much we like learning,it’s good to go out and experience the other side of life a little bit, to get work experience or just do something different for a while to really see what other opportunities life holds. I guarantee that by the time you go back to school again, you will be even more excited and feel more ready than ever. Also, there’s a timeline for everyone. Some people start their PhD journey in their 20’s and some in their 50’s. And both are alright because it aligns with their lives and it doesn’t define their worth. A PhD is a long and tiring journey ( despite how great it is) full of ups and downs in an academic setting that is not always fair and kind of rigid, so you have to be fully ready to start both mentally and emotionally. So congrats on your decision and best of luck to you in the future!
It’s always wise to wait for a PhD! There is truly no rush. I had a big gap between my masters and PhD and I think the extra maturity and reflection meant I was better equipped to start the thesis. You’ll get there when it’s right for you.
Well done on making that tough decision Ruby, doing a PhD is not easy and you have to be ready and sure, so it sounds like you did the right thing to delay! It took 7 years for me to finish my literature PhD part time alongside working and caring responsibilities and it was a slog! I know it’s hard when overthinking clouds the waters of your mind but trust yourself and your instincts. Wishing you a happy new year and all good things for 2025.
I am proud of you for heeding yourself and your mental care and other circumstances in your life before diving into your PhD. I, too, had to come to that decision in my mid-20s for mental health, financial, personal, and life reasons, and it is NOT easy. Ultimately it has turned out well for me that I stopped when I did and although I haven't gone back yet (I am 38), I don't regret the decision at all in hindsight. For me, it opened many avenues and areas of my life that had gotten shut off under the strain and devotion of studying (I am also a perfectionist and an English Literature major) and I feel I am now a more well-rounded and happier person for it. I will forever be a lifelong learner, so I think that is important to keep in mind, the distinguishment between learning and formalized education, and recognize that it says no less about you as a curious mind and intellectual whether you formalize it with a PhD or not, and whenever that may happen, whether now or in the future. I hope that made sense and helps. ❤
Happy new year Ruby!
I've been following you since I was in pre-uni and pretty much have grown up along with you in our uni years. Just want to say a big thank you XD.
My personal view about decision-making is that 'feeling right and comfortable' is just as important as the common 'advantages and disadvantages' way of thinking. The feeling itself and the deep reasons behind 'feeling right' are reasonable factors for decision-making, although they might not be 'right' in a common sense. They matter to you and that's the most important thing.
Also I wanna share some words from my co-supervisor that I still feel really encouraging: 'You missed every opportunity in the past except for the one you took. You equivalently miss every opportunity in the future except the ones you will. Both are infinite.' We couldn't truly imagine how better or worse those infinite paths are. So to me, 'just do the next right thing' is my current mantra when I find myself struggling with lots of 'what if' s.
Don’t know about anyone else, but I am here for YOU Ruby! I’m excited for when your phd journey begins, but in the meantime I could watch you do anything 🩷
Well said, and I totally agree.
I often feel there are no right decisions in many choices in life. Both decisions could be right in the right circumstances. But you still have to make a decision. You make a decision that feels best for you in that moment based on the information you have, and that’s good enough, you can’t ask for anything better. I find this idea comforting as it frees me from feeling like every decision I make has to be “right”, instead they just have to be decisions that make sense in that moment. I’ve been very guilty of procrastinating decisions so much in the past that I lose the chance to even make a decision. Now I just try to pick and move on, I know it’s better than not deciding at all. I still feel the panic, but it’s easier to calm and keep moving. I had to make a similar decision this year to intermit from my university course. It was hard, it was my dream and I’d worked so hard to be there, there wasn’t a clear right choice but I made my choice and I feel okay with it.
this was really comforting to read
Hi Ruby, I enjoy your videos because they always make me stop and think. I sometimes feel I have rushed through my life and I at the right old age of 59. I am starting to reflect on things I did or didn’t do. I suppose that’s partly because I’ve got terminal cancer And that has caused me just to think backwards and then forwards. I possibly have 2 to 4 years of activity left, hopefully. So I’m spending time thinking about what things to leave my children, how to lead them to, how to advise them, how to get them to avoid The disasters that I had, but I know even with my advice they will make their own decisions and I do tell them this - when you make a decision you’re at a crossroads and you have choices some of which might be right and some of which might be wrong. When you make a choice and come up with a final decision, ‘own’ that decision and make it yours. If you have spent time reflecting, thinking about what the rights and wrongs are, considering the merits of other peoples’ decisions then it will be the right decision for you. I did my PhD from 1994 to 1997 when I was 32 and at that time was one of the youngest people to have done a PhD in Nursing. I can’t say I loved every minute of it because I didn’t. It challenged me with the subject matter, the supervisor, the University processes, the other students’ that I met. But walking across the graduation stage and on very many times since that I have been immensely proud of myself for having done it and completed it. Even now, sitting here this evening, I am so proud of myself for having done it.
You make your decision Ruby, ‘own’ it, which you are doing, and then when you get to next year you can revisit that decision and see if things have changed for you. When students came to me for advice around PhD study, I always told them a PhD is a research training. You’re not expected to be perfect at the start and you certainly won’t be perfect by the end of it, but you will have had a massive learning curve which will change your mind forever. Having listened to your podcasts, I think you would be an amazing PhD candidate and I hope you don’t leave it too long before you start.
You are inspiring me to try and document some things for my children and that is something I have struggled with. The more I listen and get through your back catalogue of podcasts, I am starting to see what I need to write and how I need to write it. So thank you for being an inspiration to me. I think that when we sit here this time next year, will maybe have started your PhD and I will be recording and writing things for my children. In the meantime, please keep being you and the PhD will come along on its own good time. Happy New Year to you and your family.🎉
I also overthink a lot about making decisions and most of it I found that I overthink not for myself but for others opinion of my decision. I have already decided for myself but then I would think what others think of my decision, would they think I'm wasting my potential? then I realized how I let the world influence me so much. I find peace in knowing that it's okay to be uncertain at times because of course this is our first life and we wanted it to be the best it can be, and whenever I found myself overthinking every possible way a moment can happen I try to remind myself that now is not the end, and the present is not the finished line, if there's a new day, I could always begin again.
Whenever you looked forward to anything pleasant you were sure to be more or less disappointed...that nothing ever came up to your expectations. Well, perhaps that is true. But there is a good side to it too. The bad things don't always come up to your expectations either...they nearly always turn out ever so much better than you think.
L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea
Wonderful video. When I was about 32 / 33 years old, I realized that I have to make my own decisions and choices for my life, and not care for what anyone else thinks. It’s my life, not anyone else’s. This was a game-changer moment for me. I realize you are younger than this, but I share this because I think everyone comes to this conclusion. It’s very freeing. Trust yourself, and don’t worry about what others think. As others have stated, the PhD will be there when your ready, and we’ll be with you for the journey. I also like what your Mom said about the word ‘should’… it tends to be a very destructive word, and therefore SHOULD be avoided most of the time. 😉❤️🌹
Hello Ruby! I’ve been following your journey since we were both in high school. This month, I finally finished my master’s in fiction and publishing, and it’s wild how different I feel now that I’m not worried about the next assignment. Reading and writing have always been my passions, but by the end of grad school, I could barely open a book unless it was required. If you’ve ever watched Kiki’s Delivery Service, that’s exactly how I felt when Kiki lost her desire to fly-it used to be her everything, and suddenly she wanted nothing to do with it. When I was a kid, I’d see that scene and think, Sure, that happens to other people, but it’ll never happen to me. Yet there I was, “overcooked,” with too many hands reshaping my work until I didn’t want to create anymore-didn’t even want to touch my own stories or anyone else’s.
But in the few weeks since defending my thesis, I can already feel that old spark returning. I’ve finished two books this week, which is huge considering I barely read anything cover to cover in 2024 beyond class assignments and countless rewrites of my own work. I’ve reconnected with fellow readers, made a list of new books I’m excited about, and I feel awake again.
All of this is to say: you’re right to take your time. This isn’t a race, and you’ve built a community of such kind, supportive people that I can’t imagine anyone being anything but proud of your progress. Enjoy yourself. Breathe. Rediscover the things you love without anyone looking over your shoulder. After all, once you earn that PhD, you’ll need to know how to keep going-and keep loving what you do-without the structure of being a student. You’ve got this and we're all cheering!
As far as decision-making: trust your gut. Listen to the Still, Small Voice. Every time I have ignored or overridden my instincts, it has bitten me in the butt. You've made the right call.
Hi Ruby! 🎉 I am a bit older than your “usual” audience. I want to say that your maturity impresses me. Your decision to embark on a PhD is YOUR decision. Personally, I think you made the right decision to wait a bit longer. I would rather be excited than regret rushing into it. God bless! You have a fan in the States!!!! ❤
Hello Ruby! I’m more of a silent viewer and have been watching your videos since I began my undergraduate degree. I recently graduated with said degree in Psychology. I recently had a similar experience to you where I decided to take some time away from school and pursue a masters later down the line, as I am highly burnt out. It is a massive decision, especially as a lover of academia and helping others through the field. However, if I learned anything from my undergrad, it is that you cannot help others without first caring for yourself. So far, I am loving the freedom of being able to finally pour the passion I’ve been pouring into everything else, into myself. Also, your videos on journaling and writing inspired my undergrad thesis on the crossroads between journaling/ written expression and social-emotional behaviors in college students, which I passed with high honors and distinction. Never doubt your impact on others, you are beyond inspiring! Cheers to this new chapter! 🤍
Hi Ruby, thanks as always for your honesty. As someone also in the midst of making a difficult decision, here are a couple of things I have to say that may or may not relate to anyone reading depending on their circumstances.
1. Sometimes we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be role models or to 'prove' that someone like us can do something (e.g., that women can do xyz...). It is good to want to be a role model, but it only goes so far. At the end of the day, we just have to lead our own lives. We are unique individuals, much more than the statistics or demographics that we fall into. We just have to do our best.
2. Taking responsibility for our own decisions is very liberating. Of course this requires that you actually are in a position where you can make your own decisions and not be forced into them by other people. But to a reasonable extent, we all have control over some aspects of our lives. Think hard before you make a decision, but once that's done, don't blame anyone else. It is a little paradoxical - but not having anyone to blame can be very liberating.
These are both such wise and astute points - thank you for sharing x
here i was thinking my respect for you couldnt grow any more. your choice to not do the PhD this year is so fair, and your honesty is so admirable. Thankyou for always being a fantastic rolemodel and helping me find my way in the world. I wish you so much peace and happiness in 2025 and for your future PhD endeavors, youll know when the time is right.
The decision you have made Ruby is the right one for you. We cant live in the 'what ifs' world but the one were living in now. Your PHD will be waiting for you when your ready. Take this time to reevaluate, recharge and enjoy. Trust in yourself Ruby.❤
I’ve just realized how wise it is to film how you organized your room and where everything are kept now. Anytime you need to find something, you just have to watch this video! No need to open every single drawer, door, folder and box to find your stuff! 👏👏👏👏 I’m decluttering my own place too and I will definitely do the same thing!
✨🎀🕯☕️RUBY YOU MADE THE RIGHT DECISION IN WAITING. SELF CARE IS WAAAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN FURTHER SCHOOL. That can wait. Self care CANT! HAPPY NEEW YEAR GRANGERS☕️🎀🕯✨
Lots of great comments here.
I say to the road not taken; could have been worse, could have been better, could have been the same, so trust in your present choice because the weather is constantly changing and the conditions might be perfect later 😊
Best of luck xx
Hello Ruby. Your choice is made harder, I am sure, by the fact that you share part of your life with us. Well done for following what you feel is right for you. And All the Best for a happy , healthy, creative and enjoyable 2025.🌷
I am also a chronic over thinker, so I completely understand your nagging doubts. However, I think you have fabulous instincts and that you should trust them. There is a reason you decided to wait - if there wasn't this wouldn't even be an issue. We all think we have so much control over our lives, when really we don't. You fill each day with so much wonder, purpose, learning and sharing. No matter what you do, you can't do better than that. Thank you so much for all of your wonderful videos!
Hi, a chronic overthinker here! 😂 Life's taught me that there's no way of knowing which option is better for you; you will tell in the future. In this sense, PhDs are hard. You need to be mentally strong enough to carry on with years of researching and writing. My idea was to finish my master's and start my PhD, but mental health comes first. There is no hurry: do it at your own pace. Your PhD application and the program will still be there. I support your decision.
Happy new year!! ❤
23:32 thank you for this ruby 💜💕
What you talked about in the end about decisions, is so importat to talk about and you said it so well. Often when we make decisions and for example things dont go how we hoped or things are hard we automatically asume that the other choice would of been better. Even though, like you said we can never know witch paths we take is the "right one". We can only make decision based on current situation, mood, skills etc. and I belive, in that way all the decision are right, they take us where we are now and makes us who we are.
P.s. I also wanted to say i follow you, for YOU
Ruby, I admire that you honour your thoughts and feelings and remain true to yourself. You won't go wrong. Wishing you all the best for 2025. 🌟
I treasure the concept of “new beginnings”, and that is why I value the New Year. During the Holidays, I focus on the condition of my daily life, health, etc: I sit down and journal and get in touch with myself. I set an essential focus for the New Year; more like a theme than a resolution. There are some areas where I have to get more detailed, like weight loss, or exercise. I have to convince myself that it’s important and break things down into simple steps. At the end of 2025 I will evaluate if I have moved forward. If I’m able to give myself a pat on the back, it feels pretty good.
Hi Ruby, I personally just love how you talk and the study content is a bonus. However its so interesting to me to see how phd works in other countries so maybe you could just talk in some vlog about the system? Because where Im from (Czechia) we basically can have phd as long as we need and I also think that it remains free same as our lower university programs (if Im not mistaken it can even be payed in some cases). So there is some pressure of course, but mostly people can be already working full time while pursuing it and it can take even like 8 years or more. There is essentially no pressure in the end date, you just need to pass your exams (of which there arent many). So yea I think most of us would be interested in you talking more about the systems and why you want to put it for next year etc, probably not many of us here who experienced phd at Oxford. No pressure though and thank you so so much for all the content you put out last year, wish you all the luck in this one :)
Ruby as someone who is a lot older than you, I have looked back at decisions I have made and also my children, " if only" isn't helpful, I say to myself as some decisions have brought happiness and have been productive , others not so, but I really believe that we are meant to be where we are and that there is a reason and we don't know how that may be a positive, surprisingly good decision. Trust in the unfolding.
Your channel is one of my favourites, I love learning from your intellect and your trips are always so interesting and again I learn so much.
You have made the decision, it's done, I hope that you can move forward and may 2025 bring much joy, happiness and peace into your life.
Much love 🙏 💖 🎄🌟
Ruby, I certainly believe that people subscribe to you because of the absolutely brilliant, magnificent, and kindhearted person that you are. I'm proud of you for having the courage to make such a big decision, and if anyone is judgmental about it, just remember that people often project their own insecurities onto others. Happy New Year!💖
Hi Ruby, I love your videos no matter what you’re doing! Your videos make the world feel like a kinder place xx
Oh Ruby, Ruby, i just love your videos so much! Its like peace in video format 😂
You are absolutely amazing! I follow you because of your passion for life, and you should never apologize for taking life on your time scale. You are a beautiful and wonderful person! ❤❤❤
Hi Ruby, I have been watching you since your undergraduate journey in Exeter, I had just started work fresh out of undergraduate then and your videos helped me shift my perspective on how university life could be fun albeit the stress with courseworks and exams, but at the time I was truly burnt out and afraid to start masters right out from undergraduate as I assumed that studying and being in university wasn't for me and entered into the workforce during lockdown, still remember putting your videos on while working from home. But 3 years later, I've decided to give it a try to apply for masters, and was glad that I did. I just started my first semester in October and I am discovering my new found love in studying and learning. You are a true inspiration to many of us, in helping us rediscovering our passion for studying, your ideas and articulation on your courseworks, books and staying organised etc. Don't worry about not starting your PHD soon, sometimes a break is much needed and you may come back with a whole different perspective to start this new journey ahead. Happy New Year to you!
Hi Ruby! I also struggle with decision making, and from my experience I can tell you that, strangely, deep down we know what the right decision is for us at that moment. Could there be a better one? Maybe, or maybe not. But we have to trust ourselves in that decision and be open to the path that is presented to us! I think that when we then look back, there is always something about that possibility that was opened up for us that we can learn from and that made us experience incredible things.
The perfect decision does not exist, any decision that we make with judgment will not take us to the best destination, but it will surely lead us to a good one and that is enough.
It is always important to follow your gut, and if you feel it's not the right time for you to do your PhD, that's the right choice. Really enjoyed this video, and it has given me some inspiration. Love some of your ideas about letters to yourself, etc. I would love a video on the different notebooks you have and their uses. Wishing you and your family the most wonderful 2025.😊
Quick observation, so nice to see that someone else holds a pen / pencil with 4 fingers like me, instead of the typical 3 fingers. Ive always felt self-conscious of how I hold a pen or pencil when writing, that what I was doing was not correct, so it made me happy to spot Ruby holding her pencil like I do.
A doctoral program is a big commitment. Don’t begin until you’re truly ready, or else you risk major stress and burnout. Also, banish the word “should.” We’re all on an individual path-there is no “should,” only what’s best for you.
You're so right... thank you x
I find all of your content so thoughtful and inspiring, no matter what decisions you make I am always interested in your process and purpose. You should always do what is correct for you. Your life is so very different from mine, and I love getting a perspective from someone who is able to live so intentionally. Of course, I come to realize that we can all live intentionally, as we all have decisions to make about the resources we have and what life throws at us.
I had never heard of commonplacing until your channel, and I realized I was already doing this digitally. However, I love the idea of your analogue practice, and I've been inspired by this to work on improving my handwriting, with the idea that I will begin this slower, more intentional method. I work and live in a very digital environment, and it's nice to find ways to exist in the real world. To that end I also took up film photography as a hobby a few years ago. Thank you for your inspiration and thoughtfulness, and may you have a successful New Year in your bingo card!
I’d never unsubscribe from your channel just because you have decided to do your PhD later on. Your content is awesome academic or cozy or travel. I love all of it.
No need to explain yourself. You do you Ruby!! ❤❤ love from Australia 🇦🇺
Dear Ruby,
I've been following your channel for sometime,now but, as a PhD candidate myself, felt I had to comment. First and foremost,you must do what is right for YOU. I could tell you stories of my experience to date, both good and bad, but they are stories only relevant to me. Each experience of doctoral study is singularly unique, because you, with the assistance of your supervisors, are essentially teaching yourself to become an expert in your field. Since you are possessed of
tremendous skill in organisation, to say nothing of amazing discipline, I believe that you will not only square up to the challenges that producing a PhD represent,but that you will conquer them absolutely. I agree that such depth of study isn't a decision that shouldn't entered into lightly, but dont, above all else ,overthink- nothing is more ruinous to your well-being. You just carry on being sweet, gentle wonderful you, providing inspiration and endless cups of tea to those of us in the process of slaying the thesis monster ( for so I have named mine) and those of us who simply enjoy watching you living a cosy life. A Happy New Year to you. May it be filed with joy, wonder and curiosity. 😊
As a person, I tend to love making decisions. I think one reason why is that no matter what decision I make, I know that the creative act of living will have the same substance whichever choice I make. It is the creative impulse that matters, that is consistent, and this is what I will be doing no matter what. For example, if I buy one canvas or another, it is still myself that paints the picture so the incidentals of choices of paint, subject matter, canvas will be tools behind the inspiration pouring forth, whatever form it takes. Hopefully this makes sense. This may have to do with my own temperament and might not apply to everyone. But to take a leap and go for it without doubting seems like the potent act, not this way or that way. Concentration and faith, not specifics--the artist's thumbprint will always be the same, authentic mark. God bless you and keep you...
Ruby, I love your videos when it concerns literature and your future PhD. They are very interesting to watch.
I love the idea of a bingo card game for New Year’s resolutions. I love games and the idea of them so I’ve decided to gameify 2025 with points and levels and rewards to motivate my resolutions and goals while also keeping a realistic balance.
I absolutely love that you have a notebook in which to write down the purposes of your other notebooks
I don’t usually comment on many videos but just wanted to say that even though I’m a bit older your videos always inspire me and I will be continuing to watch your content whatever you choose to post. It is clear that postponing your PHD was a really hard decision to make but I am sure that you will have a year of different but just as rewarding experiences. I am just one stranger but I am very happy I found your channel :)
In terms of content, just happy to see you grow as a person and learning from your perspective and experiences. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. If you want to take a break from UA-cam, you might be able to reorganize your life in ways that are really rewarding. Hope you stay open to it, especially if you need it. Happy New Year :)
You could wait 2 or 3 years. But I think 1 year is a perfect wait period. Many commentors agree. Can we be all wrong?
Being a PHD candidate takes so much effort and intense focus. When the time is right, you'll know. You will feel at peace and settled spiritually when it's right.
I am not here for your Masters, Doctorate, etc. I am here to see YOU. If every posting was working in your journal, taking walks and study/read with me, I'd be thrilled. Of course, throwing in some book talk would be ab-fab.
The RG fan fam is just happy seeing what you're doing. Just "Hoovering" is fine. And ephemeral organization makes me happy.
The hairstyle you wore in the end of the video is very cute, Ruby!😊 It fits u so nice
ah thank you!
the place I always turn for advice is the Dear Sugars podcast. They don't bring out new episodes anymore but you can still find the back catalogue - they're two of my favourite authors (Cheryl Strayed and Steve Almond) discussing questions sent in by listeners on all aspects of life. They always seem to have the wisest ideas, and I'm sure they've got an episode on decision making. Failing that, I think you might like the podcast anyway!
I'm a chronic over-thinker as well, and what you said on the matter at the end is so helpful and encouraging! This entire upload was a true and pure delight as always. 💛
Hi Ruby. For many years in my teaching, counsel, and writing, I have offered the following advice: Ask who and why first, then what, when, and where. We Americans invert those all the time. We must first ask who do I want to be and why.? Then, we will receive greater clarity as to what we should do, when we should do it, and where.
I really like your channel! Love the bookish travels...its okay to give yourself a break from academics. People actually learn more away from the classroom!
Congratulations on making such a mature and thoughtful decision for yourself. We all see your ability and dedication to your education and know that you have so much to offer the academic world. I know that you see it from the student perspective of learning and so forth, but they will gain so much from your knowledge and ability too. You have a lifetime to give to academia and writing, or anything that you want to pursue, there is no reason to rush it if you don’t need to do that. Enjoy learning what you want to learn and in your way. You will know when it is the right time. In the meantime, your content is still terrific and refreshing. Happy New Year to you and your family! ❤🎉
May this be a wonderful year of growth and discovery Ruby. ❤
I think the way you changed your room looks better than before ❤
Each time I feel stressed about academics, I remember your various videos where you talk about mental health. Thanks for always reminding us that academics is just one part of our life, not all of it :)
I just wanted to quickly thank you for your openness on tough decisions in this video. I'm currently trying to pick what to study in uni and it's so difficult!
It’s probably a quote from somewhere but it’s been something I’ve said a lot over the last month - “it wouldn’t be a choice if it was easy”. I made a difficult choice to make a career switch, and I’m seeking solace in the fact that either option is a path to take and I’ve now weighed out and decided on one.
huh! I really like that! Thank you for sharing!
I believe that resolutions, having a vision of what's best for you and how you want to transform, is one step towards manifesting higher order. It's an implicit recognition that the order exists, that there is such a thing as "good" or "just." So it shouldn't stop at that, but it's a valuable step - better than not exercising your free will to imagine what can be and working towards it.
You were a great influence to me, us people here and I thank you for sharing bits of your world and perspectives.
You made the right decision Ruby. Wishing you a happy and wonderful 2025
Loved this update. Also I love your room with the bed in the middle like that. It looks cozy!
I think it’s wonderful you are waiting to go back to school. Taking this time to let all your educational knowledge and experiences bake in, will make your PHD quest that much sweeter.
Happy New Year! The desk tour was really nice. I need to organize mine too. My grandmother started sending me handwritten letters during the pandemic. I ought to put them all together for easy re-reading.
You could make a self printed book of them like Ruby does….can’t remember which software she uses, and give them to family as gifts. What a nice thing for your Grandmother to do!
Dear Ruby, I am so proud of you!! It can be so hard to say 'no' to something we want, even though we know it's simply not the right time. Thank you for sharing & can't wait to see what you get up to in 2025💝
Well done on your decision Ruby. It's so important to look after yourself and do what you need. You have the rest of your life to do a PhD. Life is full of pressures and it sounds like you are hard on yourself already. Your honesty is admirable and touching. Also, please could you add a link to your calendar as I wanted to look the artist up? Thank you.
Thank you so much x
Dear lovely Ruby,
you have made one of the biggest decisions of your life. It’s the right decision for right now. Now you must own it without concern for others and remind yourself that today it’s right. Tomorrow it will be right too. But at some point it will cease to be right and when that happens you will make a new decision. In the meantime you will have the time and space to continue prepping for your next academic challenge.
As someone who has traversed a few more of life’s challenges by virtue of age I hope my experience is helpful.
Regards, Peta 🇦🇺💜
Dear Ruby,
as a chronic overthinker who struggles with decisionmaking, I often think just listening to your gut feeling is always best. And to keep in mind that there are no truly „wrong“ decisions in life, because even if you end up regretting it later, you still learned from it and it brought you further along in your personal journey.
I wish you all the best!
Thank you so much for this x
Sending support for your decision, Ruby! I think the extra year of life and work experience, as well as your own personal academic development will only contribute to a better PhD experience when you feel ready. As you said, you never know if you've made the right decision, but I try to always tell myself, "you made the best decision you could with the information you had at the time." That's all you can do! Even if it turns out to be the "wrong" decision, you can't beat yourself up for not being able to predict the future. As long as you've put solid thought into your choice, you've done everything you could reasonably be expected to do in making a good decision. You know yourself best! Happy New Year!
Hi Ruby, thanks for all the videos in 2024. I somehow feel like I'm finding myself in your shoes regarding the PhD journey. I'm just freshly finished my MA during this year and decided to defer my PhD until the next cycle or two, just few weeks before you mentioned turning down the offer in another video. I think I really feel why you decided to do so, and, believe that some year break will definitely worth it. I believed so many of us subscribers is here because of you, even it is the daily vlog like I just started subscribing to your channel in like, 2016? It's okay to be just you. We respect every of your decision. Best of luck in 2025!
I love your videos so much and want you to know that it’s ok to feel scared, but I’m sure everything is going to work out for you!
Ruby, I love the new position of your bed 🫶🎄
I am a relatively new subscriber, and considerably older than you, but I find your videos very inspiring. I think you are living the life I always thought I would live, but never did. You make me aspire to be more thoughtful. Also you remind me of many goals that I had when I was young, in particular the study of great literature. I’m hoping to get back into those goals and spend my time on more ‘serious’ activities. Please know that I will follow you regardless of the type of content you present because I just find you and your outlook on life so interesting. Thanks so much for the hard work you put into these videos. I wish you all the best and every happiness in the future. 😊
I love any video you make! So I can not wait to see the next no matter the subject. I am so thankful I found your account a few months ago. You are super insightful and have also helped me take pause in my everyday life. Thank you for sharing your world Ruby!
There is no rush and I wish you every happiness in the new year, I love the academic content but I follow for YOU. x
one of my resolutions is tracking down one positive and kind thing everyday that I’ll do or say! I want to feel less on end and more easygoing, and I think that this is a good place to start
While also being a better friend to people and easing lots of social anxieties that I have!!
Hi Ruby I just received my yearly planner and I love it. Great quality. Bring on 2025
Hi Ruby, I just wanted to say you have to be ready for a PhD. I started mine this year and it is fun but STRESSFUL let me tell you. Take a break like I did for a few years and you will enjoy it more!
When it comes to postcard storage, have a look for wooden card filing box A6 landscape, for 900 cards. I love those old style wooden storage boxes. I love your content, I often play your videos in the background when I am getting ready in the morning, as they give me a good vibe to start my day. I am so much older than you, and I am now at the point of my life where I let go of all my treasures and reduce my possessions to a bare minimum. But watching you brings back memories of the time where I loved to collect postcards, keep al these little bits and pieces and collect all the letters from my friends.
Ruby, I'm a lot older than you -- 57 to be exact -- but I find a lot of inspiration from your videos. Mostly in the area of researching, writing and note-taking. I visited Oxford this year and I think that's how UA-cam helped me discover you. One thing that might be factoring into your anxiety and sleepless nights is the difference between being on a track to apply that is full of deadlines and requirements, and a track where you're shelving that stuff. So you're primed to be thinking about deadlines and then every time one comes up it's a mini-anxious moment, slash reminder of your decision. I suppose all decisions are that way, but his one doesn't seem to have an task on one side and no task on the other if that makes sense. Thank you for showing so much of your life on video, and your mom is absolutely right about the word "should"!
Me too! 58!
Another member here of the 50-ish year old Ruby fan club!!
Me too. I´m 56. 🤩
This is so incredibly wise, and now that you’ve said this, I know you’re completely right! Genuinely, thank you for taking the time to write such a lovely message x
Happy New Year, Ruby! I always enjoy your desk organization--seeing so much ephemera and stationery brings me joy and makes me want to be creative. And do not listen to anyone who says you have made the incorrect choice about your PhD when only you can know yourself. You got this! ❤
I agree with you about December, Ruby. All my routines drift away too, but maybe that's what we need in order to bring in the new. I have no doubt that you have made the right decision about your PHD. We only see a tiny bit of your life and so no one here has any right to question what you've decided. When I have a hard decision make I flip a coin and then notice what my immediate reaction is to what the coin chooses. I don't necessarily follow what the coin says but it gives me information about layers of myself that I might not be fully in contact with. I find it helpful. And you're right. There are no wrong decisions. All will be well. I am looking forward to seeing where your journey takes you next year.
I wanted to say thank you for your academic planner too. I am 58 but bought my first one this year and have found it so so helpful. It really is the perfect planner. Thank you!
I like to set a feeling for the year, a vibe so to say, for example 2024 was a year for pushing towards my career goals, being ambitious and taking on new projects, whereas this year I'm shifting towards mindfulness and self love and care. I then set goals for the week that fits that overall vibe. Love you Ruby, always love your content
This is such a lovely idea :)
Life is too short to demand perfect decisions from yourself. Happy new year from Armenia, Ruby!
For me, New Year’s resolutions are sort of like a life reset or goal reset, just like the one we tend to do on September. So I reevaluate my life and goals on December (New years) and September (start of the term). I think it’s a bit weird to wait until new years to start resolutions or goals, cause why not start now. But I take it as a reset that doesn’t necessarily start January 1st, it could start before or after. So I understand both perspectives, I guess I just meet them in the middle.
And I’m also here for you (everything you do inspires me), not necessarily academic content ❤ I love your sweater at the start of the video
I feel like you made the right decision and you’ll feel more confident about it in the future. My tip when it comes to making decisions, which is something I struggle with as well, is not putting so much value on what happens externally, because externally things are gonna look very different if you make a decision versus another, but internally it’s really not gonna be so different because you’re always gonna be you and you’re always gonna like what you like and experience things in your own unique way. That’s what helps me feel at peace with my decisions.
I wish you an amazing 2025 ❤
Hello Ruby, for storage of post cards I can really recommend a first day cover album (for stamps). Plenty are available online, and they usually have space to add comments. Most also have replaceable pages. Hope that is useful, and I really like your videos! All the best for 2025.
You do you, hold your head up and go forward.
Good decision making Ruby! I waited two years and am in a PhD equivalent program now. Best decision ever! I would have never made it through with the burn out I was feeling after undergrad. Good job taking care of yourself ❤️
I received a great piece of advice recently. " it was the right decision because you made it." Your approach sounds very healthy. Trust yourself xxx😊
I LOVE that!
Happy new year Ruby! x
Happy new year Ruby🤍 A break is always a good idea, time for things and people you love! I decided on a study delay for uni and still struggle feeling guilty even though i know its the best decision for my health atm🥺
Happy New Year, Ruby! 🎉 I hope 2024 brings you an abundance of health, happiness, and success in everything you do. May this year be filled with creativity, joy, and all the good things you deserve. Looking forward to seeing more of your amazing content and wishing you continued growth and fulfillment.
Loved the closing of the video. Best wishes during your 2025 journey.