McDojo Breakdown: Secret Death Touches
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- Опубліковано 21 кві 2021
- Today is technically our first product review along with our breakdown. We will be talking about the Secret Death Touches program. Enjoy :)
Full Secret Death touches infomercial: secretdeathtouches.net/get.ph...
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Disclaimer: We do not encourage you try any of the techniques shown on any of our breakdown videos. If you are going to try them anyway we suggest you do so in the safety of a martial arts gym with trained professionals. Train responsibly.
FAIR USE
This video falls under fair use protection as it has been manipulated for educational purposes with the addition of commentary. This video is complementary to illustrate the educational value of the information being delivered through the commentary and has inherently changed the value, audience and intention of the original video.
#McDojoLife #deathtouch #FakeMartialArts #mma #chipower #judo #kungfu #XuXiadong - Спорт
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This is a creative way to pitch an 80s martial arts movie 😂😂😂😂 honestly I was confused by his monologue 😅😂😂 I really thought it was a mockumentary 😅 was genuinely surprised that this was a “real” thing 😂😂😂😂
Word 5/5 💩💩💩💩
You owe me a quite a few braincells after this video
You wouldn’t be saying that to evan pantazi got his hands on u. One touch and u are out like a light
Thanx. I would of missed that. Thats hilarious.
What a master, unbelievable! Can he catch an eagle flying and do the " Kameah Meah" like Goku from "Dragon Ball Z"?
I absolutely love how he says li killed Bruce Lee because he was going to teach westerners secret death touch techniques in an advertisement for his program teaching westerners secret death touch techniques. Lol
He didn't say Bruce Lee was teaching secret death touch techniques but he said he was teaching secret techniques.
But that makes it even more funny because Bruce Lee was tought wing chung by Yip Man and he tought anybody who wanted to learn because the martial art almost died out
This is somehow playing this indiana jones scene where he shoots the eastern sword guy in my head
@@sgn8993 do you really think they show a headshot in a PG-13 movie, think about that
@@musicnoonelikes Well currently it‘s only playing in my head and the indiana jones movie was rated pg 13 aswell...
@Calub Park
Wong Jack Man beat Lee!!! 😄
Bruce Lee was a stuntman! Gene Labell put the fear of God into him.
The scene in “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” looks straight outta Gene Labell’s stories about metting Bruce. Although, I have also heard Bob Wall say some demystifying things about Bruce, he also has said that Bruce became really dangerous after training with Gene, Boxers, Judo champs, and guys from various styles.
All kidding aside, it _is_ true that Bruce Lee used to shine Chuck Norris’ shoes...with his face. Spit shine too. 2”🤜🏼💀
"it's a secret I have kept for 40 years, but would like you, strange American invading my private property, to know it now."
All the poor guy ever wanted was a friend.
😂
The monologue at the start sounds like something from a 90s martial arts action movie
2000 dollars for superpowers bruh. He got a screamin' hot deal.
If this was a legit comedy sketch, the monologue would have been perfect. I still want this guy to be a triple agent deadly assassin with death touches. I also want bigfoot to exist tho.
Or wattpad...
My first thought was he's watched the kill Bill training scenes one too many times
Wow its Guile from Street Fighter II! He's trying to make money to pay back owed child support.
Wow that was a very hard turn from "He killed Bruce Lee with the Dim Mak!" to "40% off all Death Touches!"
Technically it was 81% off - but he is teaching death touches, not math 😂
🤣🤣🤣 bro I did not expect that at all
Rumor has it, this "master assassin" retired is cuz his boss told him to kill Chuck Norris.
Hokutou shin ken is unbeatable.
Rip
He did try, but touching Chuck caused this "countdown" in his own head.
@@gabrielsagala9969 lmao
I spent half my life in the military. Never once have I worn my dog tags on display and never in civilian clothes ever.
@X X i bet you will own two hats that say "Two Tours: Iraq, Afghanistan" in your fifties. Thanks for your service, but as long as gas stations sell those hats, you'll be seein' 'em
@Clown Baby You seem like a underground fight champion with a name like Clown Baby. Down that Fight Milk so you can fight like a crow.
Exactly. If you have no insecurity, you have no reason to show off.
The difference is that he bought his on Amazon. 😅
@@Snugglez187temu
- Massive grandiose storytelling for death touches
- Actual badass fighters telling stories: "Yeah, I went to Thailand/Brazil/Japan/USA, trained with [BIG NAME] at [FAMOUS GYM], it was pretty fun". That's it.
I like how the ninja assassin told this guy about how he killed bruce lee for teaching hidden techniques to westerners before teaching him hidden techniques for 17th level monks.
@X X There needs to be a book or a show or a mockumentary about that!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂 so true
Funny part of B.S. death touches.... the instructors (con-man) can literally make up any dumb motion/technique and say “there’s no way to demonstrate that on a live opponent because it’s too deadly” (smiles in bullshido)
Its unfalsefiable
Like the instructor who claims his students can't compete because his art is just way too dangerous for that.
For all of you non DND fans out there, “quivering palm” is literally an action in dungeons and dragons. Yeah
It's to bad the campaign will most likely end before Beau ever aquires this. Would like to see Marisha describe/act it out. Sorry if this was gibberish it's a CR ref.
@@Jeremycook_ she isn’t way of the open hand, she’s way of the cobalt soul, so she won’t get the ability anyway
Thought I was crazy for a sec
Someone always beats me to it haha. I heard him say it and I was like “but you have to be a level 15 monk to use that!!”😂😂😂
I was half expecting the guy to say that Li was the Grandmaster of Flowers. XD
"I'm going to cut the price of Secret Death Touches by more than 60%... but it will still cost 3 ki points to perform and if your opponent makes a saving throw, he'll only take 10d10 necrotic damage." "Quivering Palm" is in Dungeons & Dragons, I looked it up 🤣.
I just got coffee up my nose reading your comment. I wasn't prepared lol
Grand Master Kane does not approve. I suggest you reconsider.
Lvl 20 Open Hand Monk is now discounted by 60%
You get a bonus on the saving throw if you point one big toe up and one down!
"A man's code of honor is everything, when he takes a vow of secrecy, he is expected to keep those secrets for life... so I'm going to teach you secret moves..."
Makes sense...
Definitely added to the Dillmans
@@McDojoLife 6 Dillmans!!! That's unheard of!!!
@@McDojoLife “this video is certified by George Dillman”
I was like ''ok, go on, cool story dude'' and then I got reminded it's not story time when he showed the product he was selling and I couldn't stop laughing for 5 minutes.
What a coincidence, we happen to have 60% off Death Touches today!
Kill YOUR rivals in secrecy with real SECRET techniques!
also the clear cut between the ominous storytelling and the "we have 60% off on the secret death touch techniques! Go grab yours now" is just so goddamn funny
You can't even mock this. It's too awesome.
Yet here we are.😆😂
Agreed
Its only hard to mock because there's so many things to pick apart😂
I have a sneaky suspicion the $40 you paid for this video went straight towards the empty crackpipe fund.
This is exactly the good shit I need for my D&D games...BBEG like an evil monk...that puts invisibles death clocks into peoples head... this guy is my new sensei!
Man u didn't need this, in phb u have the open hand monk, at lev 17 u have the quivering palm that does exactly that... i suppose u play 5e
The story. His clothes. I couldn't stop listening. Sounded like one of my favorite movies when I was a child and didn't know a single thing about fighting. Gotta watch the whole infomercial. That's just hilarious. Thank you!
I all fairness 49 dollars for a dvd to give me super powers is a screaming hot deal!
“There’s nothing new under the sun and there’s a sucker born every minute”.
Two sayings that can save you a lot of $ and heartache!
Break the wrist...walk away....Don't forget to restomp the groin 😉
Lol, that guy is a total Douche bag also. He reminds me of the guy in H.S. that always talked about joining the military and special forces. Just to find out he is 4f. Then he just kept the charade going straight into stolen Valor.
He really is trying to sell Hokuto Shinken in real life hahahaha
wonder what Bruce Lee was gonna share?
His secret to Cha Cha dancing? (btw Bruce Lee was the 1957 Hong Kong Cha-cha dance champ)
Plot twist: he was killed by the Cubans to prevent him from teaching their secret chachachá skills to the Asians.
Perhaps it was longer originally but then they got sued by George Dillman for copyright claims?
Li must've gotten to me. My brain exploded in the first 30 seconds of this video.
Man sounds like he watched Fist of the North Star and believed it
Exactly what I needed today.
Return of McDojo!
Frank Dux is totally going to sue that guy.
Just out curiousity, what for?
@@elnombredelarosa3167 If I am not mistaken, Frank Dux was responsible for introducing the idea of dim mak (death touch) to the masses or the mainstream audiences in the west, it only became famous in this hemisphere because of him. And just like the guy on the video Frank Dux is a fraud, one that became really famous.
Vinicius Dias I see
This guy has to be legit. To fly all over the world for only 2000 dollars. Must have been on spirit airlines. And for that he has my respect.
Hollywood can’t make a comedy this good. This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long long long time
The pitch was actually intriguing...i was convinced into buying it until you showed the content it has 😂
Quivering palm is a feat in dungeons & dragons 3,5 edition that the monk class can get. It has a chance of instantly killing the target off it based on the characters charisma. Never would have thought this is what killed Bruce.
So he failed to mention he rolled a 20 while he was sneaking up on Lee?
Bruce rolled a nat 1. Runs in the family. (Too soon?)
Was a thing in 1E as well
Its pretty damn impression he was able to keep a straight face while telling that story
So, he claims his master killed Bruce Lee for sharing secrets... And then offers to share bigger secrets for money, at a discount? I can't follow the logic.
He's gonna send the old man Li after you for this.
I want to hire this guy for my audio book.
That infomercial is worth the money alone.
Great storytelling.
"One final question. Bruce Lee supposedly revealed many things to the west before you were asked to kill him. What final secret was Bruce Lee threatening to teach others that was worthy of death?"
"He was going to reveal the technique necessary to see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch"
The pivot after the Bruce Lee story 🤣
The “oil check!” I nearly choked! 🤣
"What did you say when you used the quivering palm?.....he leaned in and whispered: "Hadoken."
I literally DIED LAUGHING by seeing the "bear hug technique ".
Subbed for the "Quart of Blood" technique and an entertaining as well as an educational presentation.
Keep up the good work.
Omg this is phenomenal. This is an amazing deal from $249 to $49? Take my money now.
As a fellow vet I can verify guys who wear their ID tags like that are universally hated
Trading places clip was perfect 👌
Hey, love this new channel! Been a long time since we've had someone lay out consistent issues within the martial arts community, AND BUY IN TO IT SO WE DON'T HAVE TO.
It makes me wonder if some of these guys genuinely believe the nonsense they teach. Like what if he really did go to China, and meet a stranger who convinced him of all these things, and sent him back truly thinking he's the most dangerous human alive.
Love it, can't wait for more. Subbed for sure
I found your Instagram awhile back and always got a good laugh. So glad I came over to UA-cam to check you out. These breakdowns are awesome!!
8:15 Dudes eyebrows are the fiercest part of his technique.
"The oil check" 🤣🤣🤣
I’m sure that he changed his mind about teaching the secret death touch because they threatened to send a secret death touch master after him too.
I am fucking watching that entire infomercial. Oh my god lol who let that guy on TV?!? This is amazing. I love this channel so much lol. thank you for the instant classic. Always coming through with the best content.
Thank you for the support
These are great. Thanks for the uploads
"I applied the quivering palm technique I have already taught you."
Wait, but you said that you just met this man for the first time and you were on his doorstep.
could also rate this in RexKwonDo's.
The oil check had me dying
Ay ima checkout zombies vs strippers now. Thanks bro
Love this fucking channel man. I'm giving thumbs up before the video even starts
Appreciate that
He is a smart “salesman”-con artist. He knew he wouldn’t have repeat customers so he spent way more money on his infomercial than the actual product.
That was a sharp left turn from “I exploded Bruce Lees head with a death touch” to 40% off death touches! YOU get a death touch..YOU get a death touch..EVERYBODY GETS A DEATH TOUCH!!!!!
Good video man !
Love it lolol McDojo was the best channel ever created
So did that guy claim to have killed Bruce lee for real? I can’t figure out if this is a troll job or this guy is being serious. Maybe that house he went to is actually the home of married couple Frank Dux and Ashida Kim?
Preach
I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy used to be part of the southern Baptist convention.
Thank you for the laughs and entertainment much appreciated👍👍👍
Good job sir. Keep up the good work.
This would be priceless if it was MEANT to be SATIRE.
Also, he just met Li, yet Li tells him he used the technique that he had taught him!
I lived on a farm for years. I have NEVER seen so much horse and bull shit, even cumulatively!
I didn't even know you guys had a youtube channel until now this is some good shit
I can't wait for your movie to come out man.
This channel should be SO MUCH bigger 🙏🏻🐉🐲👊💥🌠
You absolutely rock!! Thanks 👍
You had me at “half-dozing” .
Take my money 💵
This is gold
Oh my God thank you for not making me go searching for that infomercial!
I did like the "break the finger" advice. Even though he never did it.
Good price though ! Never thought that an ancient secret would cost only 49 bucks
I'm amazed that these dim mak things are still being marketed. They're so old fashioned by now.
Omg what a find!
If the Sufi who “killed Bruce Lee” killed him for sharing secrets with the west, then why did he confess/train the guy in the opening monologue? Hmmm. 🧐 Great video, as always @McDojoLife
Thanks for being a positive persona in this world m8.
Everyone laughs at the Quart of Blood technique, but learning it allowed the guy next to him to become a full fledged Moff.
Rob the “Trading Places” reference was amazing
Also, I learned more than one, one touch death strikes at the age of 18. One trigger pull, center mass, a 5.56mm projectile will tear through your targets center mass at 3000 feet per second requiring immediate medical care or possibly death. One finger, death touch. Send me $49.
The Quivering palm technique? Wow, I am already half way there at the age of 62 my hands already Quivering without knowing the technique!
I loved the Dillman Scale of Bulshit
>”access to all of our lives”
> 24/7 streaming bodycams
OMG, best one yet! :D
Brooo… just found your vids… you rock!
Truly appreciate that. Thank you for the support
The quivering palm Buaahahahaha!
Can you get Brad Potts for an interview?
I'd love to hear an oral history of that 14 minute garbage heap.
damn you actually paid $50 for our entertainment
i freakin love you rob
The ancient one touch technique to paralyze any opponent. In ancient Chinese it was called (Testiculas squeezamus)
This info mercial is so so honorable
Quivering palm? DnD should sue this guy for copy right infrindgement.
Physio pushed on my head between eyebrow area for 2 minutes and now I’m handicapped forever and ER 80 still go to this day 3.4 years later.
Get ya death touches here, death touches one dolla.
3:18 "I Applied the quivering palm technique I had already taught you"
He just got there few minutes, and he already learned that deadly technique
Wouldn't this guy be number one on the hit list for teaching this stuff?
This Li guy must be getting himself confused with Kenshiro from Hokuto no Ken (Fist of the North star).
I don't know but I'm in on this one.......SELL ME THE DAMN PROGRAM !!!