The guy that kept saying he disagreed kept interrupting I couldn't even hear what either was saying. How about letting someone make their point before disagreeing with it?
One thing I know and I experience all the time is that majority of woman that’s not a virgin be making the man that she wants to be with for sex for a long time while I’m here smashing it, and piping it down, that’s why I can’t trust a woman that’s not a virgin to make me wait for the perfect moment, while you’re waiting she’s having the peck moment everyday, that’s why she has no problem to wait.😂😂😂
mpscats360 totally agree. He maybe handsome and he may have the degrees and knowledge but being disrespectful of other people big turn off. You go matthew.
Wow, the ego of the Dr. Chris is crazy! Why is he there if he's not going to listen to other opinions without throwing in things like "how many sexual relational assessments have you done? probably none."
You can tell he was so excited to use the phrase "slut shaming' but it was completely out of context. But then he turned around and was completely condescending to the lady. What a hypocrite.
Matthew is a saint for not walking out of this interview! The other guy is a piece of work! He won't even allow Matthew to speak. I am really bummed I didn't get to hear his comments. Good lord.
To be honest, I know people who had sex "early" and they ended up together. To me, it doesn't really matter when you are going to have sex with the other person, as long as you are vibing together you might get a relationship out of it. If you have a good connection that's all that matters.
Candice Koko I had sex with my now husband before we officially were together, within the first week of meeting. We were 17. Married after two years of being together. We have been together for 10 years. I agree. I knew the moment I saw him he would be mine! hah. So I agree, girl. It's about the people's muturity level and desires in life.
Congratulations on your marriage girl! I wish you guys the best! People just need to keep their minds open, there is no right technique to get a guy or girl. Just follow your heart!
Candice Koko yeah actually me and my fiance are together for 5 years and we had sex the night we met, and he actually 5 days later moved into my house, and we are still madly inlove, I think if It is meant to be it's going to happen, do not limit yourself and have some fun, that's what I think at least ☺
Candice Koko But how many women have done that and actually kept a guy? I mean I can also say that I know a lot of women who had sex early and got heartbroken.
Aishoo 1234 Hello friend! I know many girls that got heartbroken too! What I believe is that we shouldn't worry about following the "90 days rule" (which means don't have sex with the guy the first three months), there is no "right technique" to start a relationship with someone, what's meant to be is meant to be. If you get heartbroken, you learn a lesson, if you get a relationship you gain a new experience. C'est la vie! :D
"Confident enough to have sex sooner than later." Dude, confidence has nothing to do with the timing of when to be sexually intimate with someone. In fact, more confident women do not rush sex and wait with high self esteem for the right time to do it and instead prioritize getting to know the man first before getting physical.
There is nothing wrong with waiting till marriage. It's something very sacred and once it's gone, it's gone. I personally wouldn't want that sort of emotional and spiritual connection with someone like that until I say, "I Do". I waited till marriage and so did my husband. And we have been married almost 13 years!:) #dontshamevirginity #itsagift
Komerican10 but also people shouldnt shame for having sex. Men get congratulated, women get shamed. Now automatically women are told to be ashamed. Some women like to have sex more than others and they shouldn't be shamed for it. #alsodontshamesex
I kinda do agree with Matthew here.. of course every individual is different .. but there are some few things in life that will keep happening over and over again ..
Mathew thank you for a good example of patience when someone is threatened by you and doesn't want you to make your point. It never pays to argue with a fool. You lived what you tell us ladies by keeping your standard and not getting sucked into his narcism. The women making your point when she spoke was the beauty of this exchange. He wouldn't listen to her either. Thanks Mathew.
Waiting to have sex never hurt any relationship. So why not wait awhile, go on dates, get to know each other, enjoy each other’s company and let it happen naturally.
Komerican10 Thats one of the saddest things I've ever heard. Your virginity is not a gift or prize for your husband. It's for you to give to whom ever you decide to. And it certainly shouldn't be implied that you're obligated to give it to wait and give it to your husband. I find this whole practice strange. Have sex with who ever you want, just be safe about it. Virginity really isn't special and the fact that we put such value on a flap of skin is beyond creepy.
My friend lost her virginity to her first tinder date. She's still dating her 3rd tinder date. I'm personally waiting until marriage. But there's nothing wrong with either of our choices. People need to mind their own business and stop shaming others for what they choose to or not to do.
A friend of mine once said that all that sex does is speed up the inevitable between two people, whether that's a break up or marriage, and I wholeheartedly agree with him. I know several people whom have slept together on the first date and are now married. I know several people who waited a little while and are now either together and not. And, I know several people who waited till marriage and are now divorced. If it's right, sex won't make a difference. In the end, it's really all about how each person feels about themselves with the decision they make.
dancedose but there are men who are just plain pigs and liars so it’s good to wait awhile until you truly know a persons intentions. Easier for a guy to not feel used.
@@lisasethe6386 LOL I've "waited" to have sex while I was on a friends with benefits situation with another woman I knew from my martial arts group and having sex off on and on with a newly divorced ex of mine. Just because you make him wait it doesn't mean he isn't getting it somewhere else and when you do eventually have sex it doesn't mean he isn't going to leave you.
It's really important to really know the person you are dating with because you never know if they are just using you. Don't give in too easily for sex, teach them how to earn it so they will know that you're a valuable woman.
I think waiting with sex builds tension. Be a bit of a tease, make him work for it a bit because that will make it more special and ultimately more enjoyable for both of you. If you can't have something that just makes you want it even more. Also I believe that sex is often the reason people who shouldn't stick together do, because it releases chemicals in your brain that bonds you a lot more to that person.
Because you know how to be a wife, and you knew how to choose the right man. Which most women don’t know how to choose and that’s why they wait long. One lucky guy your husband.
Whoever that Dr Chris guy is pompous and arrogant. He clearly does not deserve to be on that show. Matthew Hussey was classy and a true gentleman. Bravo Matthew!
my husband and i waited till we were married. but i know ppl who did really soon on and are married or have long term relationships and ppl who waited and broke up after.so depends on everyone situation not necessarily sex and timing of it
shereen so proud of you. Waiting till marriage is just amazing. I did the same:) Plus it's nice to know that you have that sort of life long commitment before you give a sacred gift away:)
Komerican10 hugs love .it did helps loads we were long distance part of relationship him being from England then 😂. but we decided to wait till we were married for religious reasons.best decision we made as we got chance to know each other on deeper level without physical aspects .xx
I really don't think that it's a matter of how long you wait,it's a matter of the chemistry between two people and feeling comfortable enough to give that person the most deepest part of you and waking up to not regret it because you both enjoyed it and wanted it as much.If he stays ,he stays and if she leaves,she leaves.what matters is that there are no regrets between those two people cause you might make a person wait for 5years and they'd still dump you and at the same time you might sleep together on the first date and virse versa .The point if the matter is people leave and people stay.
Whether you have sex on the first night or two or three years down the road with someone it does not really matter. What really matters is the two people wanting to be with each other or not. Sometimes a person willing to wait a bit of time just to get some booty and then leave. Doesn't necessarily need just to be on the first night for the person to leave.
I have seen this happen countless times. irresponsible people bringing up welfare bastards leeching off the system and throwing kids out into the world like they were abandoned dogs...and no bullshit about protection either, no safe sex is ever 100% safe.
thejewbirdsuperior it's still a fraction of the tax payers money. Not to mention all the bastards that don't get taken care of by their irresponsible parents. they get left at grandma's while the mom's go get their hair and nails did with tax money. Trump's wall is obviously a stupid idea. If he wants America to thrive he needs to cut off the Welfare system so that these lazy fucks go out and actually get a job instead of getting fed by our hard earned money.
Had sex with my boyfriend on the first date. Five years later, a cat, a rabbit, a home and many talks about marriage later and I think we're doing okay.
@@rahmasamir909 It's been five years since I left this comment, seems like a weird time to reply, but since we're here.... We've now been married for 3 years and we're celebrating our ten year anniversary next month. I'm even more in love with the guy than I ever have been and I have zero regrets about anything. It's almost like everyone and every relationship is different, and what works for one person might not be the best for the next. 🤔 That's all I was trying to say with my original comment. It's all up to you and there are no rules in this situation-- or sure consequence for breaking other people's "rules".
i am all for waiting until marriage, and for many people it is awkward for me to be a 22 year old virgin. happy that many other girls in the same position were able to comment positively.
There's no rule of when is too soon to have sex. If you're matured enough to handle things in your own way then be it. Just keep it in mind to always make yourself protected so if things get worse between you and you're partner , you'll have nothing to worry about.
Ugh, that „expert“ sounded so condescending and just plain annoying, throwing around buzzwords like „slut-shaming“. But Matthew handled himself so well!
i think building an emotional relationship before sexual is key to a long term relationship. Sex is such an intimate thing and to have it with someone you know and truly care about will make it mean so much more. Of course if you wanna have fun, you dont even have to know their name but long term? You should wait. My friend has blown through boyfriends and the one thing in common about all of them is because she has sex with them within the first week. Her longest relationship was with guy she didn't not perform sexual activities with.
Matthew seems to be bringing attention to the descriptive aspects of dating and relationships to the forefront. Not the normative. He's not saying this is how dating "should" go, but rather this is how dating often does go, because of the way people are socialized. They don't actually disagree with each other.
A lot of guys and women who are impatient to have sex tend to say "well, I want to know if the sex is great before I enter a relationship", but if there is that yearning to touch, if the kiss and hugs feel great, all you need for the sex to be satisfying is open communication. We need to fight against a culture that makes orgasms trivial and impersonal. Now if it's a deep connection between two people, you'll love the whole experience and feel good in every inch of your body. No regrets and no looking back if it ends at some point.
The guy in grey shirt- Thaaaaank u!!!! Finally a person who has research and actual data behind his statements. Which can't be said of the other two. Maybe you don't agree with him on a personal basis, but he took the discussion to the next level.
Have sex when you're ready at an appropriate age. I lost my v card when I was 21 to a guy who I connected with but never ended up being my bf. Did I feel ashame? No. Do I regret it? No. It's all a learning experience to get to know yourself better, that's all.
Matthew is 100% right here. You cannot try to push human nature to the side. Women and men are DIFFERENT and they deal with intimacy, feelings, and relationships differently and we have to acknowledge that or else you're doing yourself a disservice.
Women and men are worth MORE than their bodies. I don't think there is anything wrong with sex early on in the relationship. It depends on the type of person u have it with. If ur dating someone who thinks that a person's worth is only derived from sex, then they're gonna leave u once they get that from u. But if ur with someone who understands and VALUES ur true worth, then they're going to stay with u after sex bc they want to try it out with u. Trust me, I've been with a few men who wanted a serious relationship after having sex. Whether u have sex early on or wait until marriage is a personal choice. NO ONE should be shamed for their personal choice. Period. If the person decided to have sex with an idiot, don't blame that person, blame the idiot who couldn't be upfront and say, "hey, I just want to have sex. Nothing serious. Don't want u to get the wrong impression," in ever so kinder words.
Hussey never mentioned that girls should be deemed as "sluts" if they become intimate with man early on. All that's being argued is that the chances of a relationship lasting long-term can diminish if it happens too quickly. There are other ways you can begin to become intimate in the beginning of the relationship, like flirting, touch and much more ( Hussey mentions these on his channel). By doing so, both will begin to become more comfortable with each other and get to know each other in the process.
I think a lot of people, regardless of their gender, have been emotionally impacted in a negative way by sex with the wrong person. To be able to work through that pain, one must acknowledge it. Once you have learned from it, it will make you stronger. Self love is the key. If your having sex to fulfill a sadness or a longing in your heart, then sex only leaves you emptier inside. Having sex without understanding the potential repercussions can de really detrimental to one life. And the man in the suit had a good point. Women and men process their emotions differently.
If you start a relationship on a physical foundation, you don't have much space to grow. End of story. Sleep on the first date, but don't confuse sex for making love and don't be surprised when the relationship goes no where.
I was 26 when I gave up my virginity. I wish I had kept waiting, too. I also wish I understood before I gave it up that my identity is not my virginity.
i think waiting until marriage for most is waiting for failure....and disappointment...marriage is a sham and really so many relationships have failed once marriage comes into the picture and many who wait for marriage get married JUST to have sex...and then realize the guy is not who they wanna be with so really...having sex is not bad before marriage especially if you do not plan on getting married...why be forced to be together if you can CHOOSE to stay together without a piece of paper...marriage doesnt mean the same thing it did back in the 1950s it was more for financial reasons ...a contract and now a days we shouldnt need that...we can want it but shouldnt be a "norm"
Dr. Chris ... hmmm! AS a WOMEN that I AM I know I would feel totally ashamed if I just had sex with a man I've just met. Maybe it's because I was raised by an old-school mom and she would always tell me that a women's virginity is so valuable and that we should cherish it and not just give it up. I know a lot of women that regret not waiting. Don't you girls want to show a man that you are more than a piece of meat? I'm talked to a few men that just wanted one thing.. once I told them that I wast just a piece of meat (I said it just like that) they backed off because they new I wasn't going to just have sex with them without some sort of commitment! Why do women expect others to respect them when they themselves don't respect their bodies.
I think this is a weird conversation to have on this show because it's really about the situation you're in. I think that it really shouldn't be anyone else's business when you have sex, why should it matter to anyone else but you and your partner?
Hurray for Matthew H. I love the way he always knows what to say without showing any emotional disagreements he has with any one they all need to stop and listen to Mr. Hussey he has shown to prove nothing but 100% fact as well as action
Sometimes there are women who can't find a guy they like, but they really want kids. They feel that they can do a good enough job on thier own, without the kid having a father, so they get pregnant outside relationships. I would looooove to avoid ever having to do that, but really, sometimes women have little choice: at one point they will be too old to have kids, and what are they to do if they don't have a husband before that point?
lollsazz im talking about two ppl, who dont know each other, having unprotected sex, and bringing illegitimate children in to the word where those children have to rely on two ppl who dont get along, arent good at coparenting, and quite frankly they dont even know each other. I have an issue with strangers or ppl who dont know or like each or ppl who arent in a position to be a parents having children with each other. Too many baby mamas and daddies and children having kids of their own running around.
Okay, the women said that ALL women are looking for love and a committed relationship. That's just not true. A lot of women just want sex and to have fun which is fine. Also, in the end most PEOPLE, both men and women, want love. When and who you have sex with is up to you. I know plenty of one night stands turn into committed relationships. It just depends on you're opinions and how you want to live your life.
Just wow... That ended terribly. Dr Chris is emotionally unintelligent, Period. Clearly hasn’t had a non-physical intimate connection with another human.
See guys, you can only get a guy who wants to be kept. I still gave it out the first night and the guy treated me like a queen afterwards, it was a wonderful relationship and I have waited 7 good months to give it up in a relationship and that was it, I was ghosted. A man will be kept if he wants to be kept, giving it too early or not doesn't play a role.
Chris is talking about how the world of relationships SHOULD be (and eventually will be in a few decades), and Matthew talks about how you can compromise with the current rules in relationships. Personally i ve seen that no matter how much you wait, there's no extra bonding with someone. A guy who approaches you for sex only, can wait for months to get it from you cause its a challenge. And after all, if he values a woman by how soon she goes to bed, then he deserves all the women out there who think that their sex is so high valued and worth to wait. Thankfully, there are many people out there, including me, that dont believe in such bull** and dont even think to date people who overvalue sex that much so to respect someone according to how soon he/she goes to bed. Btw, how weird and pervert is that: a man considering a woman "easy" and not value her if she does the same thing he does at the same time! F* logic!
If you guys want to hear more of Matthew's advice and opinions, since Chris wouldn't let him speak, he makes wonderful UA-cam videos on his channel Matthew Hussey.
A relationship after sex on the first date, is the exception, not the rule. Rosie and Matthew are absolutely correct. If you want a long term relationship, you have to know the person before you connect with them on a physical level. THE MAJORITY of men don't value a woman who doesn't value herself. The first thing they will think is if you gave it up so easy to him, you have probably done it other times. Also, you want to be sure you know this person. In the age of HIV and even hpv cancers, you can never be too careful.
I agree with the girl in which if someone wants to create a long lasting relationship waiting to have sex isn't horrible. it allows you to form something deeper before sealing the deal as they say. Sometimes everything is fine and dandy but you add sex to the mix it starts messing things up because maybe they weren't as ready as they thought. maybe after one time the girl or guy decided they rather keep waiting but the other is demanding it. I always believe there are exceptions to everything but they are just that exceptions that happen probably to about 10% of people. But at the end of the day you know you better than anyone else. if you feel it's the first date and he or she agrees and there's consent. then okay. and if you feel it's 2 years down the line then that's fine too. Sex should be done with consent of others because not all girls are looking for it and there are some guys who aren't looking for it either
Many women DON'T have the confidence to NOT have sex so soon. A woman respecting her own need to get to know someone for as long as she needs is what confidence is.
Yeah, let's assume that every girl wants a fairytale love life with flowers and chocolates, and that anything that deviates is damaging to them. And let's just exclude guys from the equation, we all know that dudes are always dtf, no emotional strings attached. Why is it that people have the same inane conversation about sex all the time? Has it ever occurred to you that every person, regardless of gender or sexuality, has different desires for their sex life, or might not even want one? Perpetuating this narrow archetype of, "She wants romance," and, "He wants sex," is not only a damaging message, it's just not true. Stop trying to force youth into these molds, they're gonna do what they want to do anyway, just teach them how to be safe.
Paige Renee this is the truest comment I've read on here...and to add...why do these discussions even exist??? Shouldn't everyone of us be allowed to make their own decisions? And those decisions to be accepted? All these generalizations are killings me 🙄 do. what you feel is right for yourself. Of course there are gonna be things that you regret...but that's life!?
Paige Renee They are not molds, its human nature and hormonal science when you get down to the nitty gritty. Go take your liberal logic back to your safe space.
I really don’t think many women decide to have sex early on thinking it will absolutely guarantee them a long term relationship.. I think they just don’t expect to be thought less of and judged by a man - who was equally a party to the sex. This advice about developing emotional connection by abstaining for a period of time is equally applicable to men who are open to the idea of long term relationships.. so why is it that women are given this advice, and women are the ones who are expected to feel guilt and like they’ve made a bad decision and not men?? Thats why Chris is talking about slut shaming.. and he’s right because there is inequality in how men and women are judged by each other in this situation On another note, it is absolutely ridiculous for that model to claim that ALL women need love and emotional connection before having sex! She can speak for herself but absolutely not for all other human beings on this planet who have a vagina as if we’re all the same.. with the same wants, needs, outlook and priorities!
The guy that kept saying he disagreed kept interrupting I couldn't even hear what either was saying. How about letting someone make their point before disagreeing with it?
Everyone waited till he was finished but he sadly he couldn't do the same. DOUCHE.
He’s probably the type of dude that pressures girl to have sex one the first date
Yeah I was annoyed and I also agree with the two comments on this
One thing I know and I experience all the time is that majority of woman that’s not a virgin be making the man that she wants to be with for sex for a long time while I’m here smashing it, and piping it down, that’s why I can’t trust a woman that’s not a virgin to make me wait for the perfect moment, while you’re waiting she’s having the peck moment everyday, that’s why she has no problem to wait.😂😂😂
This would've went a lot better if they hadn't invited Dr. Chris
It would have been way better if they hadn't invited Ms. Anecdotal Evidence Nightmare.
Emily Slaton actually no. It's sad I notice that everyone always interrupts the doctor on the left Dr stork. It's why I can't stand the show
that guy in the middle was such a douch
mpscats360 totally agree. He maybe handsome and he may have the degrees and knowledge but being disrespectful of other people big turn off. You go matthew.
Wow, the ego of the Dr. Chris is crazy! Why is he there if he's not going to listen to other opinions without throwing in things like "how many sexual relational assessments have you done? probably none."
Eleanor Exactly! What's the point of a debate if he's just gonna disregard everyone's opinion because they aren't as "qualified" as he is.
Milada Vuković exactly! Plus it wasn't about nuclear physics but about relarionships where everybody is an "expert" to some extent.
He has done "hundreds of thousands" ??? Lol!
and the fact that he said it to the woman, and NOT to Matthew, who's here to debate with him, makes it worse.
he is gay anyway, why is he even giving advice to women, he is totally clueless lol
You can tell he was so excited to use the phrase "slut shaming' but it was completely out of context. But then he turned around and was completely condescending to the lady. What a hypocrite.
Matthew was such a gentleman handling the ego of the man next to him. Damnn
yes whats his name .very annoying
Trueeee
Omg so true!!!!
Matthew is a saint for not walking out of this interview! The other guy is a piece of work! He won't even allow Matthew to speak. I am really bummed I didn't get to hear his comments. Good lord.
Good for Matthew! I'm glad he is getting more attention, great guy.
Totally agree and keeping it classy :) it was funny when he put that guy in his place and then the guy got all uptight about it, what an ass
To be honest, I know people who had sex "early" and they ended up together. To me, it doesn't really matter when you are going to have sex with the other person, as long as you are vibing together you might get a relationship out of it. If you have a good connection that's all that matters.
Candice Koko I had sex with my now husband before we officially were together, within the first week of meeting. We were 17. Married after two years of being together. We have been together for 10 years. I agree. I knew the moment I saw him he would be mine! hah. So I agree, girl. It's about the people's muturity level and desires in life.
Congratulations on your marriage girl! I wish you guys the best! People just need to keep their minds open, there is no right technique to get a guy or girl. Just follow your heart!
Candice Koko yeah actually me and my fiance are together for 5 years and we had sex the night we met, and he actually 5 days later moved into my house, and we are still madly inlove, I think if It is meant to be it's going to happen, do not limit yourself and have some fun, that's what I think at least ☺
Candice Koko But how many women have done that and actually kept a guy? I mean I can also say that I know a lot of women who had sex early and got heartbroken.
Aishoo 1234 Hello friend! I know many girls that got heartbroken too! What I believe is that we shouldn't worry about following the "90 days rule" (which means don't have sex with the guy the first three months), there is no "right technique" to start a relationship with someone, what's meant to be is meant to be. If you get heartbroken, you learn a lesson, if you get a relationship you gain a new experience. C'est la vie! :D
"Confident enough to have sex sooner than later." Dude, confidence has nothing to do with the timing of when to be sexually intimate with someone. In fact, more confident women do not rush sex and wait with high self esteem for the right time to do it and instead prioritize getting to know the man first before getting physical.
I agree with matthew..
There is nothing wrong with waiting till marriage. It's something very sacred and once it's gone, it's gone. I personally wouldn't want that sort of emotional and spiritual connection with someone like that until I say, "I Do". I waited till marriage and so did my husband. And we have been married almost 13 years!:) #dontshamevirginity #itsagift
Whadjewcallm I have it's happened to me a few times
Komerican10 but also people shouldnt shame for having sex. Men get congratulated, women get shamed. Now automatically women are told to be ashamed. Some women like to have sex more than others and they shouldn't be shamed for it. #alsodontshamesex
Whadjewcallm I have. The ppl that do shame virgins make fun of them for not getting laid. It irritates me. Don't shame anyone.
Komerican10 21 and a virgin here
Andrea Austin I am proud of you!!!
I kinda do agree with Matthew here.. of course every individual is different .. but there are some few things in life that will keep happening over and over again ..
Mathew thank you for a good example of patience when someone is threatened by you and doesn't want you to make your point. It never pays to argue with a fool. You lived what you tell us ladies by keeping your standard and not getting sucked into his narcism. The women making your point when she spoke was the beauty of this exchange. He wouldn't listen to her either.
Thanks Mathew.
Waiting to have sex never hurt any relationship. So why not wait awhile, go on dates, get to know each other, enjoy each other’s company and let it happen naturally.
I'm waiting for the right person! 21 and a virgin.
me too girl
Camille Storm so proud of you! What a amazing gift you will give to your husband!!
Komerican10 Thats one of the saddest things I've ever heard. Your virginity is not a gift or prize for your husband. It's for you to give to whom ever you decide to. And it certainly shouldn't be implied that you're obligated to give it to wait and give it to your husband. I find this whole practice strange. Have sex with who ever you want, just be safe about it. Virginity really isn't special and the fact that we put such value on a flap of skin is beyond creepy.
she means the love and passion the connection which includes but not limited to sex. read in between the lines.
nkyou101 Totally agree
My friend lost her virginity to her first tinder date. She's still dating her 3rd tinder date. I'm personally waiting until marriage. But there's nothing wrong with either of our choices. People need to mind their own business and stop shaming others for what they choose to or not to do.
end of convo!! this is so spot on. thank you!
AsianToilet Interesting... What's your friends tinder?
That's exactly what Chris has said in this video!
Why tinder? There’s no luck on there and just for sex. But lucky she found someone’
A friend of mine once said that all that sex does is speed up the inevitable between two people, whether that's a break up or marriage, and I wholeheartedly agree with him. I know several people whom have slept together on the first date and are now married. I know several people who waited a little while and are now either together and not. And, I know several people who waited till marriage and are now divorced. If it's right, sex won't make a difference. In the end, it's really all about how each person feels about themselves with the decision they make.
dancedose YES
I’ve never heard of that phrase that sex speeds up the inevitable! I totally agree!
dancedose but there are men who are just plain pigs and liars so it’s good to wait awhile until you truly know a persons intentions. Easier for a guy to not feel used.
@@lisasethe6386 LOL I've "waited" to have sex while I was on a friends with benefits situation with another woman I knew from my martial arts group and having sex off on and on with a newly divorced ex of mine. Just because you make him wait it doesn't mean he isn't getting it somewhere else and when you do eventually have sex it doesn't mean he isn't going to leave you.
Yes!
one person at a time. christ
It's really important to really know the person you are dating with because you never know if they are just using you. Don't give in too easily for sex, teach them how to earn it so they will know that you're a valuable woman.
I think waiting with sex builds tension. Be a bit of a tease, make him work for it a bit because that will make it more special and ultimately more enjoyable for both of you. If you can't have something that just makes you want it even more. Also I believe that sex is often the reason people who shouldn't stick together do, because it releases chemicals in your brain that bonds you a lot more to that person.
Should she work for it?
I slept with my husband on our first date (only the 2nd time we met), and we've been together for almost 10 years. And I neither of us were virgins.
But not for everybody
Because you know how to be a wife, and you knew how to choose the right man. Which most women don’t know how to choose and that’s why they wait long. One lucky guy your husband.
Ugh that guy on the gray shirt, he was so disrespectful.
Whoever that Dr Chris guy is pompous and arrogant. He clearly does not deserve to be on that show.
Matthew Hussey was classy and a true gentleman. Bravo Matthew!
my husband and i waited till we were married. but i know ppl who did really soon on and are married or have long term relationships and ppl who waited and broke up after.so depends on everyone situation not necessarily sex and timing of it
shereen so proud of you. Waiting till marriage is just amazing. I did the same:) Plus it's nice to know that you have that sort of life long commitment before you give a sacred gift away:)
Komerican10 hugs love .it did helps loads we were long distance part of relationship him being from England then 😂. but we decided to wait till we were married for religious reasons.best decision we made as we got chance to know each other on deeper level without physical aspects .xx
God has a purpose for every single one of you, and loves you all very, very much, sweet people. God bless you all.
K Leia thank you
I guess it depends on the person but I’d rather figure out the sexual connection before getting married cuz what if it doesn’t work out ?
Matt was actually making a really good point before that guy cut him off.
But not all women are looking for love with EVERY 'man they sleep with. Sometimes women want something plainly sexual too..
she's a PLUS SIZE model??? no way, thats horrible. she's like the ideal female weight, modeling industries are so corrupt and toxic....
I really don't think that it's a matter of how long you wait,it's a matter of the chemistry between two people and feeling comfortable enough to give that person the most deepest part of you and waking up to not regret it because you both enjoyed it and wanted it as much.If he stays ,he stays and if she leaves,she leaves.what matters is that there are no regrets between those two people cause you might make a person wait for 5years and they'd still dump you and at the same time you might sleep together on the first date and virse versa .The point if the matter is people leave and people stay.
Whether you have sex on the first night or two or three years down the road with someone it does not really matter. What really matters is the two people wanting to be with each other or not. Sometimes a person willing to wait a bit of time just to get some booty and then leave. Doesn't necessarily need just to be on the first night for the person to leave.
How bout you do you. Love your life and just fuck what others think.
Giana Clovis yassss
I have seen this happen countless times. irresponsible people bringing up welfare bastards leeching off the system and throwing kids out into the world like they were abandoned dogs...and no bullshit about protection either, no safe sex is ever 100% safe.
thejewbirdsuperior it's still a fraction of the tax payers money. Not to mention all the bastards that don't get taken care of by their irresponsible parents. they get left at grandma's while the mom's go get their hair and nails did with tax money. Trump's wall is obviously a stupid idea. If he wants America to thrive he needs to cut off the Welfare system so that these lazy fucks go out and actually get a job instead of getting fed by our hard earned money.
Had sex with my boyfriend on the first date. Five years later, a cat, a rabbit, a home and many talks about marriage later and I think we're doing okay.
Not for everybody
@@rahmasamir909 It's been five years since I left this comment, seems like a weird time to reply, but since we're here.... We've now been married for 3 years and we're celebrating our ten year anniversary next month. I'm even more in love with the guy than I ever have been and I have zero regrets about anything. It's almost like everyone and every relationship is different, and what works for one person might not be the best for the next. 🤔 That's all I was trying to say with my original comment. It's all up to you and there are no rules in this situation-- or sure consequence for breaking other people's "rules".
Thank you Mathew Hussey!! You are bright and clever. I agree with everything you said 100%!!!
i am all for waiting until marriage, and for many people it is awkward for me to be a 22 year old virgin. happy that many other girls in the same position were able to comment positively.
There is no right or wrong. It all comes down to personal choice. Live your life, do what's best for you. That's it.
barfy shark~Yes. We would hope whatever decisions they make, let it be a positive one. Hopefully it's beneficial to their lives.
There's no rule of when is too soon to have sex. If you're matured enough to handle things in your own way then be it. Just keep it in mind to always make yourself protected so if things get worse between you and you're partner , you'll have nothing to worry about.
Go, go, go, Matthew! :)
Absolutely love Dr.Chris Donaghue. The only one here who knows what he's talking about and isn't afraid to say it
Ugh, that „expert“ sounded so condescending and just plain annoying, throwing around buzzwords like „slut-shaming“.
But Matthew handled himself so well!
How tf is she a plus size model??? She's skinny lol
her face is skinny, google her she's really curvaceous .
PanDaL0v3r11 You can see her big hips and thighs from under the table.
What's her name?
is no one gonna point out that this "woman" looks like a fucking alien?
PanDaL0v3r11 don't you see them thighs overflowing
i think building an emotional relationship before sexual is key to a long term relationship. Sex is such an intimate thing and to have it with someone you know and truly care about will make it mean so much more. Of course if you wanna have fun, you dont even have to know their name but long term? You should wait. My friend has blown through boyfriends and the one thing in common about all of them is because she has sex with them within the first week. Her longest relationship was with guy she didn't not perform sexual activities with.
Matthew seems to be bringing attention to the descriptive aspects of dating and relationships to the forefront. Not the normative. He's not saying this is how dating "should" go, but rather this is how dating often does go, because of the way people are socialized. They don't actually disagree with each other.
A lot of guys and women who are impatient to have sex tend to say "well, I want to know if the sex is great before I enter a relationship", but if there is that yearning to touch, if the kiss and hugs feel great, all you need for the sex to be satisfying is open communication. We need to fight against a culture that makes orgasms trivial and impersonal. Now if it's a deep connection between two people, you'll love the whole experience and feel good in every inch of your body. No regrets and no looking back if it ends at some point.
The guy in grey shirt- Thaaaaank u!!!! Finally a person who has research and actual data behind his statements. Which can't be said of the other two. Maybe you don't agree with him on a personal basis, but he took the discussion to the next level.
The cringe at 0:44, I feel you Matthew..same
I cringed too
He didn’t even let Matthew finish!
Have sex when you're ready at an appropriate age. I lost my v card when I was 21 to a guy who I connected with but never ended up being my bf. Did I feel ashame? No. Do I regret it? No. It's all a learning experience to get to know yourself better, that's all.
1:08 he looks like "ok guys........"
Matthew is 100% right here. You cannot try to push human nature to the side. Women and men are DIFFERENT and they deal with intimacy, feelings, and relationships differently and we have to acknowledge that or else you're doing yourself a disservice.
Women and men are worth MORE than their bodies. I don't think there is anything wrong with sex early on in the relationship. It depends on the type of person u have it with. If ur dating someone who thinks that a person's worth is only derived from sex, then they're gonna leave u once they get that from u. But if ur with someone who understands and VALUES ur true worth, then they're going to stay with u after sex bc they want to try it out with u. Trust me, I've been with a few men who wanted a serious relationship after having sex. Whether u have sex early on or wait until marriage is a personal choice. NO ONE should be shamed for their personal choice. Period. If the person decided to have sex with an idiot, don't blame that person, blame the idiot who couldn't be upfront and say, "hey, I just want to have sex. Nothing serious. Don't want u to get the wrong impression," in ever so kinder words.
Hussey never mentioned that girls should be deemed as "sluts" if they become intimate with man early on. All that's being argued is that the chances of a relationship lasting long-term can diminish if it happens too quickly. There are other ways you can begin to become intimate in the beginning of the relationship, like flirting, touch and much more ( Hussey mentions these on his channel). By doing so, both will begin to become more comfortable with each other and get to know each other in the process.
The guy in the grey just annoyed me. He didn’t really listen he just kept butting in.
Dr. Chris is like that little sibling that interrupts everything at the dinner table (no hate)
I think a lot of people, regardless of their gender, have been emotionally impacted in a negative way by sex with the wrong person. To be able to work through that pain, one must acknowledge it. Once you have learned from it, it will make you stronger. Self love is the key. If your having sex to fulfill a sadness or a longing in your heart, then sex only leaves you emptier inside. Having sex without understanding the potential repercussions can de really detrimental to one life. And the man in the suit had a good point. Women and men process their emotions differently.
If you start a relationship on a physical foundation, you don't have much space to grow. End of story. Sleep on the first date, but don't confuse sex for making love and don't be surprised when the relationship goes no where.
Bless that lady, Rosie, for stepping up and putting the Dr. Chris of a braggart in his place.
I was 15 when I lost my virginity and if I could go back and wait until I got married I would do it very time.
Nyanza Rojas did you get pregnant?
Nyanza Rojas I was 15 too and I would do it again if I could go back in time :) to each their own :)
barfy shark no I did not get pregnant lol I waited until I got married to do that lol.
Nyanza Rojas ok, that's good ☻
I was 26 when I gave up my virginity.
I wish I had kept waiting, too. I also wish I understood before I gave it up that my identity is not my virginity.
And you may have done hundreds of studies, but I came here for MATTHEW
i think waiting until marriage for most is waiting for failure....and disappointment...marriage is a sham and really so many relationships have failed once marriage comes into the picture and many who wait for marriage get married JUST to have sex...and then realize the guy is not who they wanna be with so really...having sex is not bad before marriage especially if you do not plan on getting married...why be forced to be together if you can CHOOSE to stay together without a piece of paper...marriage doesnt mean the same thing it did back in the 1950s it was more for financial reasons ...a contract and now a days we shouldnt need that...we can want it but shouldnt be a "norm"
He didn’t even let Matthew get his point out. Anyways, we know you know what you’re talking about Matty! I get your point.
I LOVE THE DOCTOR IN THE GREY SHIRT.
A man arguing what women feel and telling a woman explaining the female experience she's wrong 🙄
Dr. Chris ... hmmm! AS a WOMEN that I AM I know I would feel totally ashamed if I just had sex with a man I've just met. Maybe it's because I was raised by an old-school mom and she would always tell me that a women's virginity is so valuable and that we should cherish it and not just give it up. I know a lot of women that regret not waiting. Don't you girls want to show a man that you are more than a piece of meat? I'm talked to a few men that just wanted one thing.. once I told them that I wast just a piece of meat (I said it just like that) they backed off because they new I wasn't going to just have sex with them without some sort of commitment! Why do women expect others to respect them when they themselves don't respect their bodies.
Ashley Ramirez thank you so much so inspiring ama tell taht to sum dude taht just wants to do it
Dr. (Travis) Stork was not having it. He was ready to throw hands and get those people out of there.
I am a 30 year old straight guy. I have never even kissed a girl before. No joke.
...Isn't that awesome?!?!
The british guy reminds me of Daniel Radcliffe haha
you gotta test out the car before you buy it... coming from an engaged woman.
A guy told me that he will not date a woman if she says no to sex after 3rd date
Camilizers where you at???!!
ladies, pls... too soon or to late, the decision is in your hands. *rolls my eyes*
When did this show turn into the View?
Dr. Chris Donaghue was absolutely rude and was threatened by Matthew. I definitely would not want a therapy session with Dr. Donaghue.
I think this is a weird conversation to have on this show because it's really about the situation you're in. I think that it really shouldn't be anyone else's business when you have sex, why should it matter to anyone else but you and your partner?
Hurray for Matthew H.
I love the way he always knows what to say without showing any emotional disagreements he has with any one
they all need to stop and listen to Mr. Hussey he has shown to prove nothing but 100% fact as well as action
I'm 31 and slept with one person in life. I'm okay with that!
oh my gosh, how wise and smart is my Matthew,,, will I ever find someone like you? and a round of applause to the lady...
I cant stand when children come from illegitimate relationships though. Thats all I'm saying.
Sometimes there are women who can't find a guy they like, but they really want kids. They feel that they can do a good enough job on thier own, without the kid having a father, so they get pregnant outside relationships. I would looooove to avoid ever having to do that, but really, sometimes women have little choice: at one point they will be too old to have kids, and what are they to do if they don't have a husband before that point?
lollsazz not what im talking about
So what ARE you talking about then?TheRenegadeStarr
lollsazz im talking about two ppl, who dont know each other, having unprotected sex, and bringing illegitimate children in to the word where those children have to rely on two ppl who dont get along, arent good at coparenting, and quite frankly they dont even know each other. I have an issue with strangers or ppl who dont know or like each or ppl who arent in a position to be a parents having children with each other. Too many baby mamas and daddies and children having kids of their own running around.
TheRenegadeStarr
Then you're not against illigitimate children - you're against people having sex irresponsibly and getting children from that -_-
Matthew Hussey’s face when the other dude says slut shaming is everything. Lol
Totally agree with the doctor, Matthew's approach caters more to the insecure crowd.
In the end, the central question was not answered. I wish Matthew was able to complete his thought. I trust him.
Okay, the women said that ALL women are looking for love and a committed relationship. That's just not true. A lot of women just want sex and to have fun which is fine. Also, in the end most PEOPLE, both men and women, want love. When and who you have sex with is up to you. I know plenty of one night stands turn into committed relationships. It just depends on you're opinions and how you want to live your life.
Let Matthew talk JEEZ!
Just wow... That ended terribly.
Dr Chris is emotionally unintelligent, Period. Clearly hasn’t had a non-physical intimate connection with another human.
Matthew handled this very well. The sex therapist was embarrassingly immature.
it annoyed me that she was trying to speak for all women. all women do not want the same things
she did not speak for all women...she said from her personal experience
See guys, you can only get a guy who wants to be kept. I still gave it out the first night and the guy treated me like a queen afterwards, it was a wonderful relationship and I have waited 7 good months to give it up in a relationship and that was it, I was ghosted. A man will be kept if he wants to be kept, giving it too early or not doesn't play a role.
idk who she is but shes gorgeoussss !
Cringing at the guy in grey talking about "How many sexual assessments have u done.".... all I can say is wow.
Chris is talking about how the world of relationships SHOULD be (and eventually will be in a few decades), and Matthew talks about how you can compromise with the current rules in relationships. Personally i ve seen that no matter how much you wait, there's no extra bonding with someone. A guy who approaches you for sex only, can wait for months to get it from you cause its a challenge. And after all, if he values a woman by how soon she goes to bed, then he deserves all the women out there who think that their sex is so high valued and worth to wait. Thankfully, there are many people out there, including me, that dont believe in such bull** and dont even think to date people who overvalue sex that much so to respect someone according to how soon he/she goes to bed. Btw, how weird and pervert is that: a man considering a woman "easy" and not value her if she does the same thing he does at the same time! F* logic!
I'm not gonna watch the video, but simply answer the question.
If you're not married, it's too soon. c:
If you guys want to hear more of Matthew's advice and opinions, since Chris wouldn't let him speak, he makes wonderful UA-cam videos on his channel Matthew Hussey.
Love Matthew Hussey and his UA-cam channel. Matthew is the 🐐 and knows wtf he’s talking about!!!
A relationship after sex on the first date, is the exception, not the rule. Rosie and Matthew are absolutely correct. If you want a long term relationship, you have to know the person before you connect with them on a physical level. THE MAJORITY of men don't value a woman who doesn't value herself. The first thing they will think is if you gave it up so easy to him, you have probably done it other times. Also, you want to be sure you know this person. In the age of HIV and even hpv cancers, you can never be too careful.
Hurrah for her! And for clarifying that for him.
I agree with the girl in which if someone wants to create a long lasting relationship waiting to have sex isn't horrible. it allows you to form something deeper before sealing the deal as they say. Sometimes everything is fine and dandy but you add sex to the mix it starts messing things up because maybe they weren't as ready as they thought. maybe after one time the girl or guy decided they rather keep waiting but the other is demanding it. I always believe there are exceptions to everything but they are just that exceptions that happen probably to about 10% of people. But at the end of the day you know you better than anyone else. if you feel it's the first date and he or she agrees and there's consent. then okay. and if you feel it's 2 years down the line then that's fine too. Sex should be done with consent of others because not all girls are looking for it and there are some guys who aren't looking for it either
Many women DON'T have the confidence to NOT have sex so soon. A woman respecting her own need to get to know someone for as long as she needs is what confidence is.
Yeah, let's assume that every girl wants a fairytale love life with flowers and chocolates, and that anything that deviates is damaging to them. And let's just exclude guys from the equation, we all know that dudes are always dtf, no emotional strings attached. Why is it that people have the same inane conversation about sex all the time? Has it ever occurred to you that every person, regardless of gender or sexuality, has different desires for their sex life, or might not even want one? Perpetuating this narrow archetype of, "She wants romance," and, "He wants sex," is not only a damaging message, it's just not true. Stop trying to force youth into these molds, they're gonna do what they want to do anyway, just teach them how to be safe.
Paige Renee yess!! 🙌🏼 Girl I was thinking the same exact things! I can't believe it's 2017 and people are still putting all this nonsense out there 😑
Paige Renee this is the truest comment I've read on here...and to add...why do these discussions even exist??? Shouldn't everyone of us be allowed to make their own decisions? And those decisions to be accepted? All these generalizations are killings me 🙄 do. what you feel is right for yourself. Of course there are gonna be things that you regret...but that's life!?
This is just an excuse to be promiscuous
Paige Renee They are not molds, its human nature and hormonal science when you get down to the nitty gritty. Go take your liberal logic back to your safe space.
Keke Lauren EXACTLY!!!
I can't take people who interrupt others to make their point seriously.
I really don’t think many women decide to have sex early on thinking it will absolutely guarantee them a long term relationship.. I think they just don’t expect to be thought less of and judged by a man - who was equally a party to the sex. This advice about developing emotional connection by abstaining for a period of time is equally applicable to men who are open to the idea of long term relationships.. so why is it that women are given this advice, and women are the ones who are expected to feel guilt and like they’ve made a bad decision and not men?? Thats why Chris is talking about slut shaming.. and he’s right because there is inequality in how men and women are judged by each other in this situation
On another note, it is absolutely ridiculous for that model to claim that ALL women need love and emotional connection before having sex! She can speak for herself but absolutely not for all other human beings on this planet who have a vagina as if we’re all the same.. with the same wants, needs, outlook and priorities!
Mathew is right