I love how you phrased the delusion: "My personal style has to represent every single aspect of me at the same time very overtly and very precisely all the time". Damn. That's exactly why shopping and dressing myself is so incredibly stressful for me. And when you put it into words we can all see how crazy that belief is!
Very insightful! I have noticed that myself - I tend to pin things that inspire me and are so pleasing for the eye, but if I really think about it, on of two things is obvious: either the outfit looks perfect on the woman who is wearing it but wouldn't work on my body at all, or it is not suitable for the current life situation I'm in (I don't need a power suit working from home and I am certainly not involved invited to any red carpet events to wear that gown). Thank you again for another piece of food for thought!
My friend recently "got into fashion" (as he described it) and started purchasing all these new clothes to fit his new aesthetic. I found that overtime his "fashion" became very rigid and very much a cookie-cutter approach- like he was trying to look like an exact Pinterest photo. He was trying to adhere to a particular aesthetic and often became obsessed about it - it had to be the perfect shape, colour and brand. But as he discovered and became fascinated by different aesthetics and trends, his fashion looked lost- as though it was expressing his confusion and difficulty to make the aesthetic work. You could tell he wasn't enjoying it, he couldn't decide what aesthetic he wanted that day, he always looked uncomfortable/awkward, he was constantly asking for complements about his new clothes and overall he wasn't acting himself. He started to wonder why the aesthetic just wasn't working for him anymore. I had to remind him that he looked nice before he started to experiment because he looked so natural and comfortable even in the most casual or most formal occasions. Although he's learnt so much about different aesthetics and trends and is much more knowledgeable and self-aware of the types of clothes he wears, I think a person cannot continue in life with confidence and relative ease unless they give themselves a little freedom and a personal touch to their own unique style! Of course it's fine to be inspired by certain looks, but don't forget to choose clothes that you think look nice and flattering on you and of course clothes that make you feel good!
I use Pinterest a lot! I have more then 20 different boards with every style I like - adventure style, vintage style, pencil skirt outfits etc. And then I have the board called "my style" where I pin everything from all the other boards I can and will actually wear, according to the clothes I already own. That helps me a lot to create my outfits.
A1977ification I would love to see your Pinterest, can you leave a link? I feel like we have similar styles. You don’t have to if you don’t want to tho no pressure.
Ever since i’ve found kibbe i started to appreciate my bodytype and i’m now more careful of clothing trends because most won’t fit me since i’m TR, it helps to find my style and not to waste a lot of money. Also your vids have been very helpful thanks! I’m excited for your next video
Thank you, I'm scrolling through all my pins and writing down all the elements I'm attracted to! I really appreciate you sharing this with us, I'm almost 30 and have never been able to pin point my style. I feel like my personalities always clash or I can't commit to ONE particular style, etc.
I agree! I was thinking the same thing about the pinterest tip. Bloggers love to take shots that portray a certain aesthetic and not so much a personalized look accustomed to themselves. When I tried to go pin stuff I pinned similar elegant and casual feminine outfits but when I discovered I am TR more than half of the pins were gone because they didn't suit me as a body type either.
I love goth, vintage and elegant styles. Learning about the Kibbe system and understanding my own body type have helped me to combine those styles into something that makes sense and looks good! Thanks for your educational videos, keep em coming. :)
Yes I am in the process of rethinking and removing my wardrobe. I have been bored with for a while now. I think the problem is the shiny new object syndrome . I have a mix of favorites on Pinterest but some of them are in the moment favorites and a month later I don’t know what I was thinking 🤔. I am getting to where I want more color and prints but I still want some minimalism. I love floral too. 🌷
Merriam, are you interested in sharing your Myers-Briggs personality type? You clued us in on the introverted part. It's interesting how you seem to like analyzing and categorizing things. Perhaps that's a clue?
Hey @Merriam Style, having watched a good amount of your vids, I think you are an ISxJ. Here is why. You are extremely good at cataloguing and organizing information, simplifying complicated ideas and study systems thoroughly. The fact that you studied these systems, and then improvised upon it could indicate either Thinking function. It would be speculative for me to guess which one. You seem to use a dominant introverted function, specifically sensory. So it would make sense for your type to be ISxJ, since you identify yourself as some kind of a judger. A lot of people tend to mistype based on online tests, what I am telling you is based on years of studying the theory and cognitive functions themselves. Knowing our true personality type can unlock so much more of our inner potential, and you can maximize it :)
I studied MBTI and was obsessed with it for a few years, reading Jung's text, etc, and was professionally typed INTJ. My way of going through life has made so much more sense to me after that and it has really helped me with self awareness. You could consider my color analysis system, which is more consistent with Ni-Te. Everything must make deep sense with the theory, and if there's something that isn't consistent with the external data (Te-Se), then the theory has to be fixed or tweaked. I try to make my content accessible and explain it with real life examples, so it might seem more S because of that. But I'm no ISTJ of any kind, trust, my mom is an ISTJ. And I certainly don't have Fe so I'm no ISFJ. Also I have the whole inferior Se thing that you could imagine, and I majored in physics. Rehearsed and planned out videos can be deceptive. :) As an INTJ woman, I probably had to develop my little SFP side, my inferiors, so that could be what you're seeing as well. People love to tell me I'm all kinds of different types, so I'm used to it. But I am certain I'm INTJ. One time I had a drink at an event and got to talking with someone about MBTI, and he said he studied it professionally and thought I was an ISFP after talking with me for about 20 minutes about relatively shallow topics. Of course a female INTJ would come off as an ISFP after a drink talking with a stranger. I was originally mistyped as INFP, and I'm so grateful to the people who truly saw me and typed me correctly. They said they couldn't believe it, thought I was an INTP trying to be an INTJ at first....but nope, they settled that I'm truly INTJ. Just female.
@Merriam Style Thanks for explaining the process with clear and concise examples. Agreed that videos can be deceptive, understanding your thought process here was more helpful. Looks like you know your stuff, so that's awesome!
In my case, being a terrible shopper and not knowing anything about what I actually want to wear, pinterest was very helpful, because it helped me to gather the concepts I was attracted to. I learned a lot about myself doing this and I don't think of any other platform which could give me such opportunity ... But I totally agree with the idea that pinterest inspirations should be blended together so as to express your true self ! :)
Merriam, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and findings with us. I’m at a point in my life where I’m basically overhauling a bunch of things. My wardrobe is among them- and you’re really a huge inspiration. I’ve actually been binging on your videos the last few days while brainstorming and planning 😅 I literally just opened a Pinterest account yesterday so I’ll keep your advice in mind (; Thank you truly! You are wonderful! 😊
I am jeans and tee shirts, jeans and sweaters, jeans and blouses, jeans and... my only exception to jeans are casual dresses and skirts, nothing fancy. Fancy is not me
I agree wholeheartedly I think my style overall is classic, gamine, and romantic mixed and matched depending on my mood/event/situation and it made my style life so much easier and now I truly love all the things I wear and rarely have "regret" purchase a now.
This is the most intelligent analysis of personal style I have seen in over a year of searching. Thank you for these exceptionally fine insights. I often find the bloggers and youtubers whose style I most admire -- Leena Asad, for example, at withloveleena -- are so totally unlike me in build, age, life-stage, and even personal budget as to make attempts to find inspiration from their posts not only futile but often actually counterproductive. Other stylists I enjoy may be closer to me in age or build but dress according to entirely different parameters. It's very confusing! Your observations on this subject are both very helpful and very reassuring. I really had believed that I must not have a style, perhaps not even a personality! Finally, it seems to me that the perspective you offer in this video could be applied to a wider sphere of life, far beyond personal style. It seems our culture of abundance and overwhelming choice may have engendered a tendency to reject possibities that we fear don't adequately represent our image of ourselves. As if the outside world could be reduced to a hashtag and selected according to the preferences with which we wish to be identified. That's a recipe for disaster.
I watch all of your videos, which are consistently informative and have helped me immensely with finding my style. However, I wanted to just say you look STUNNING in this vid. 👏👏👏
It makes a lot of sense to combine archetypes: for me i'm between grunge and gothic lolita. I don't like bright or pastel colours, so the style of gothic lolita - dark colours mixed with black and more edgy clothes suit me. It is still kind of vintage, cute and feminine, but not on the same level as wearing pastels. From grunge I love leather jackets and chunky heels, boots giving me more comfort and stability when walking.
I like dark colors but earthy colors are good too. Black is my go to. I enjoy the sporty look of wearing a sports bra and baggy sweatpants with my hoop earrings and curly shoulder length hair. I also enjoy those cute peter pan collared dresses with waist emphasis or a retro style dress. I like looking at Ingenue and some Grunge or Gothic styles but with a more Minimal look to them. I usually wear jeans, t shirt/simple black blouse, and either black combat boots or running shoes. Sometimes I switch it up and wear a skirt (never the tight straight ones) at ankle or slightly above the knee length.
that spoke to me so much. Being a mom for a couple years I really lost a sense of who I am and what is my style . What I used to wear or feel like I liked before is just not fitting anymore or is not practical . I started to think I might have a Multiple personality disorder 😂 Just because I love so many various styles that are very opposite. This makes me realize that I just have a complexe personality and it feels good being told your style doesn't have to represent EVERY SINGLE PART of you. Seems logic but it never sank in apparently! Thank you so much , Can't wait to see your next video on the subject 😊❤️
I pin classic sophisticated to smart casual clothing which i would love to wear, however in real life im so lazy i couldn't be bothered getting dressed up unless i absolutely have to, so i wear jeans and singlet tops
Ha! This really speaks to me. Fortunately I have never used Pinterest. But I managed to make my closet my multiple personality Pinterest page. 🙃Thank goodness the minimalist in me already took control and got rid of over 70% of it all. 🤪 Now, I just need to figure out WHAT TO WEAR...??? (Just, ha) Thank you 🙏🏼 Great video so helpful.
Is this why my fellow ladies always complain about not having anything to wear? Perhaps they get bored with their clothes because they didn't truly love the pieces when they bought them? I don't think I necessarily have a "style"; I suppose I've never really thought of it. I do have a problem of randomly feeling inclined towards certain pieces, however. For instance: I've felt inclined lately towards corduroy in a cool, deep brown. I've yet to find such a garment (which would be a suit, preferably). This isn't too much of an issue, as the above piece fits into my "preference box" and I've a lovely pink button-up and deep red tie that would go so wonderfully with it, should I find one. I've also felt inclined towards sailor collars, and my they are difficult to find! I wonder if you would do a video on signature hairstyle and/or makeup? I've yet to meet a lady who looked prettier with makeup and I think it's partially to do with the fact that some tend to follow trends without thinking of their unique balance. I think the same can be said for hair, though to a lesser extent. My great grandmother once remarked that she sees so many young women on telly with long, straightened hair who would look so much lovelier (in her opinion) with some wave or curl. A signature makeup-look and hairstyle makes getting ready in the morning so quick as well!
Totally get what you're saying! I'm almost 40 but still struggle with incorporating each "archetype"/style. I do have separate pinterest boards for each style I'm obsessed with, but I struggle to mesh each of these extremely different styles into one.
@@merriamstyle Yes! I'm currently watching your next vid! Love it, very helpful. Combo of- Boho/Native American/spiritual, Stepford Wife 50's, and Goth/dark. Quite a conflict of styles lol but this helps ❤👍Will check out your other videos, love your personality.
After i saw your video a weird method on how to find your style I made a pinboard for each style persona, then wrote down similarities and conpromises. Then I created a pinboard with those critwria. Pinterest is just a tool that can be used badly or be very helpful.
Thank you for sharing your process so thoughtfully. I also have a "stye" pinterest board that is a wild compendium of various influences and styles, and just like you I thought "How on earth can I find my own style in this kaleidoscope of images?" Yet at the same time I knew they all attracted me for some reason, and there is indeed a consistency there. Thank you for inspiring me to find and put words to the threads that connect them all. I think you are brilliant!
I love that you're really digging here into finding authentic style. That topic fascinates me too. It was fun to hear more about your style. Also speaking of fashion just wanna give a shout-out to the StyleLikeU channel too, been finding it very inspiring glimpses at peoples' confidentally authentic styles, often pretty quirky and unconventional.
Same. I love shirt dresses and collared shirts. But when I put them on they make me look fugly and off. It looks good on the hanger or in a photo but on me it looks too masculine. Too dramatic and angular and I am a romantic body type. So i thrive on flowy things not structured clothes.
Really good tips. For me I would probably say that the things I would like to express are my sensitivity, nurturing side, creativity (I'm not the guy on my profile picture but I'm a musician) and my thoughtfulness. Too bad I'm both theatrical romantic and a guy so I would probably be laughed at/fired if I got the style I think goes with that best.
I'm envisioning a ruffled shirt with some higher waisted pants for you - this seems very musician like and appropriate to me! I think if you really do the process Merriam describes in her next video you can find ways to either amp it up or tone it down for different occasions, and also remember that people like David Bowie were "weird" to start with - now they are style icons. 😊
What another amazing analysis, you are the one who thoroughly thought about the confusion we have, expressed what I wanted to say for a long time but never found a way to express it, big hug X. ❤️💋
Oh boy, I’m into so many different archetypes that I don’t even know what my style would be lol. But ok, for starters I’m a petite TR so I could erase the Insta athletic/athleisure type of clothes (that I personally wanna rock) that look amazing on Naturals because they would look too heavy on my small, delicate bone structure. Now that I think about it I think the femme fatale archetype might be my favorite because I like that it can be sexy and badass at the same time and I just so happen to have the Kibbe type most associated with it, put two and two together 🤔. My problem is that I have zero confidence in myself and having body dysmorphia doesn’t help since I hide myself under baggy clothes not wanting people to look at me. 😞 And also dressing sexy and form fitting and extra all the time wouldn’t work in a lot of settings lol. Also, because I’m petite, it’s hard to find clothes that fit well to begin with 😭. Man it’s so hard being a petite TR in a time when clothes for Naturals are trendy 😭.
Merriam, your wardrobe preferences sound just like mine. The emo, minimalist, introverted style. Except I'm a flamboyant natural, so I need to find a way to get my whole wardrobe to be able to mix n match with the FN aspect. If you have suggestions, or anyone, let me know. I love black, gray, white, n tan. Color comes through with necklaces most of the time
Since I know Kibbe I don’t even care about what my personal style has to represent, I just found a safe place where I know all my clothes suit my body type!
Great info! Is there anyway that your volume can be turned up? I have mine at max level but still can't hear you as well as I would like. Thank u, you are awsome!
So much of this comes down to Erickson’s crises of development. If you’re a teenager struggling with finding your one true identity, relax a little. Not only do you gradually figure yourself out, but having one “authentic” identity that encapsulates all of who you are becomes less and less important.
This was great to give know how on self styling. Your life example gave me a good idea of how to do my own wardobe when I get time to sit and think about it
Very useful video as expected from you Merriam. I was wondering what your thoughts are on the eighteen ethereal archetypes by Olga brylinska as a tool for finding a personal style. They seem to fit very well with the ideas in this video.
This is SO helpful, thank you so much! You're so right and practical here dear Merriam :) and I'm going to write my preferences down. Very curious to see how I can apply these thoughts. Also, I think it's so cute how you used to dress emo/goth, as I gravitated towards those styles myself when I was younger! And the sentimentalism too, aww 💜 you're cute!
Just saw the other video on your method of finding your personal style ,and it made so much sense to me. I knew what elements of different styles l liked and was trying to intuitively meld them together,so this is gonna help a lot. P.s. Sorry for not commenting more often, but writing in English is a bit challenging for me. Have a nice rest of the day!🤗
I don’t express myself much through clothing or hair so I prefer to wear dresses. I find it easy as it is like a uniform... not much accessorizing involved. I do love color and makeup tho. My clothing and hair style is, easy. I do love soft natural looks and find that it’s easier to pull off in scoop necks or tops. I’m an extrovert and it’s so true... I love bold colors lol This video was super helpful btw. I do have a romantic skirt that I bought but have never worn. The skirt is stunning but I can’t figure out how to work it 😂 the fabric is too thin to work for me :(
merriam i am soooooo like that...lots of styles eyc and it IS very hard to get dreased sometimes. I feel constrained by people's expectations too. but having some many different style each that lets parts of me express is VERY impractical! I'll have nearly a whole outfit on then realise the shoes or coats options are going to be wrong. not Odd in the good mix match way bit just plain wrong. so I have to start again. I have wardrobes and boxes full of clothes and shoes. I'm doing my Merriam Style Homework ready for your next video :)
How did you know I keep on buying coctel dresses on thrift shops? It's pleasant, because it's something I really like, and I don't feel guilty about it, since thrift shops are really cheap. I'll be thinking about your words, thanks
I'm always torn between dressing like a spy, black jeans or slacks with a black turtleneck and kind of sleek vampirish vs dressing with jeans, tucked into one sid tee, and doc marten boots. I find that both though cannot simultaneously exist. One is like Victoria Bekham and the other is Angelina Jolie. This is always very confusing for me.
Merriam: Don't pin everything because you will never wear it. Me: *Stares at the strawberry dress by Lirika Matoshi* Jokes apart, I've been into lolita fashion for 16 years now, so my everyday clothes (casual, professional, occassional, loungewear) resemble some aspect of it. I also get inspo from the new trend cottagecore, from nymphet/doelette fashion, larme kei and korean trends, that go pretty much with the Theatrical Romantic style that actually fits me. However, I also love anime and metal, so I got a bunch of graphic tees with those themes that match nothing else in my closet, but I am too attachted to them to let go. 😂 So I try to balance everything wearin skirts, cute shoes and dainty accessories. The thing that least matches my aesthetic is a pare of iridiscent combat boots that have like a lizard texture to it. 😅 But I love them so much, they remind me of dragons and dragons are my everything. Wish me luck haha.
I'm doing the opposite as in, pinning celebrities of my type to see what i like on them. Drawback - theyre... celebrities. Very attractive, hard to concentrate on clothes
Lifestyle incorporates essences in your style, not one elegance cocktail dress. Elegance color and style everyday wear, interesting pattern, artistic unique, handcrafted sewing and lace. Lace, audrey, grace kelly, self expression, sentimental, minimalist saving planet. Cancer, water, strong tiger, dragon. Delicate fabrics. Pop color
then go for semi muted colors! they will already look soft on you! like peaches and salmons tend to look quite bright on warm and delicate, and quite soft on warm and radiant (which is closest to spring).
Hey Merriam, thanks for sharing! Just a gentle note, the word "caricatures" is pronounced "KARE-uh-kuhh-churrz" (like the word characters, with the ah and chur sounds added). Keep up the great work!
might depend on where you're from. I defin8tley do not say "chures"! no shame in saying "cArrricatures" similar to couture and not a broad 'churrrz' in sight. making the 't' and ior sound light and clear.
Long response: I loved this video. I think you are so on target in all your points. I pin so many things that I love but that aren’t necessarily the most flattering for my particular body type. I still can’t figure out my Kibbe type. I watched a video from Kelsey (maybe you’ve seen it) ua-cam.com/video/H4FRahMlQLs/v-deo.html in which she recommends considering Kibbe typing on a spectrum from extreme yin to extreme yang, rather than trying to pigeonhole yourself into a “type”. So where does one fall on that spectrum? For me, for example, that is pretty far extreme yin, except that I am somewhat taller at 5’7”, arms and legs slightly longer than a stereotypical romantic, and I will not tolerate wearing tight or extremely bodycon clothes. I could never dress like a Kardashian, and my curves are not THAT extreme (!). But I am fairly hourglass in shape with a defined waist. So...when I look at clothes that are categorized as soft classic, soft natural, and even often romantic, they feel comfortable for me because they all fall on “my” comfort zone of the Kibbe spectrum. Almost anything from the yin’ish end of the spectrum is something that will, objectively, look better suited to my body type than dramatic or extremely tall, narrow or constructed shapes. That’s just a matter of proportion. However, as you say, we in essence are so much more than our physical body “types”, and there are many ways to incorporate these affinities (including ethereal essences) into our wardrobes, with individual pieces, texture, color, etc. We can express our moods without looking like costumed mannequins. As you say, we are complex human beings, and we are not meant to be confined to a limited menu. I do believe anyone should wear whatever makes them feel good in their clothes and their own skin, but I also believe there are principles of proportion that we can take advantage of to look our best. You can express a natural or dramatic or romantic or goth or whatever mood by styling a simple, classic dress any number of ways, as long as the fit is right for you. I’m in love with simplicity and minimalism and capsule wardrobes currently, but it doesn’t mean we can’t express our mood through our attire, or that we have to be constrained to a stereotype. So I really love the direction you’re taking here. Furthermore, I love seeing you in the video, rather than only hearing your lovely voice. Your sweater and jewelry show your preferences: modest but elegant, simple, minimalist but with a nod toward sentimentality and a softness, a nostalgia, but nothing overt or over the top. I like it. 😊
Could you do a video on your opinion of this test? It has been suggested by another UA-camr, but I don't know how accurate or helpful it really is. It puts all 13 types on a linear spectrum, which changes how I thought the types actually worked. I know it's meant to take some of the guesswork out of it, but it actually marks answers wrong if you answer something that does not fit a type. 13perfectshapes.wordpress.com/13ps-kibbe-quiz-female-version/
I love how you phrased the delusion: "My personal style has to represent every single aspect of me at the same time very overtly and very precisely all the time". Damn. That's exactly why shopping and dressing myself is so incredibly stressful for me. And when you put it into words we can all see how crazy that belief is!
yes when I realized this I was like WOW, I can't be the only one thinking in this kind of style trap. ?!?!
@@merriamstyle Add to that the expectation that what you wear also has to be pleasing to everyone you meet and you have a recipe for insanity...
phemyda94 Idk, It's hard to coordinate outfits if your clothing items clash.
Very insightful! I have noticed that myself - I tend to pin things that inspire me and are so pleasing for the eye, but if I really think about it, on of two things is obvious: either the outfit looks perfect on the woman who is wearing it but wouldn't work on my body at all, or it is not suitable for the current life situation I'm in (I don't need a power suit working from home and I am certainly not involved invited to any red carpet events to wear that gown). Thank you again for another piece of food for thought!
I think the whole "where would I wear it" thing is what gets me. I have nowhere to go, so I just end up in sweat suits for comfort :/
My friend recently "got into fashion" (as he described it) and started purchasing all these new clothes to fit his new aesthetic. I found that overtime his "fashion" became very rigid and very much a cookie-cutter approach- like he was trying to look like an exact Pinterest photo. He was trying to adhere to a particular aesthetic and often became obsessed about it - it had to be the perfect shape, colour and brand. But as he discovered and became fascinated by different aesthetics and trends, his fashion looked lost- as though it was expressing his confusion and difficulty to make the aesthetic work. You could tell he wasn't enjoying it, he couldn't decide what aesthetic he wanted that day, he always looked uncomfortable/awkward, he was constantly asking for complements about his new clothes and overall he wasn't acting himself. He started to wonder why the aesthetic just wasn't working for him anymore. I had to remind him that he looked nice before he started to experiment because he looked so natural and comfortable even in the most casual or most formal occasions. Although he's learnt so much about different aesthetics and trends and is much more knowledgeable and self-aware of the types of clothes he wears, I think a person cannot continue in life with confidence and relative ease unless they give themselves a little freedom and a personal touch to their own unique style! Of course it's fine to be inspired by certain looks, but don't forget to choose clothes that you think look nice and flattering on you and of course clothes that make you feel good!
"Honour my introversion" This struck a chord with me. Great point.
I use Pinterest a lot! I have more then 20 different boards with every style I like - adventure style, vintage style, pencil skirt outfits etc. And then I have the board called "my style" where I pin everything from all the other boards I can and will actually wear, according to the clothes I already own. That helps me a lot to create my outfits.
A1977ification I would love to see your Pinterest, can you leave a link? I feel like we have similar styles.
You don’t have to if you don’t want to tho no pressure.
@@plasticfrog4533 sure, take a look and feel.free to tell me what you think
www.pinterest.com/anazvezdana/boards/
That’s a great idea!
I do this too! I pin looks I love and from there I pin what I would actually wear to a separate board.
That's really cool! I don't do that but I do have a few different 'styles' - And I do wear them depending on mood and place. What a good idea.
Merriam you look so good ! LOVE THE TOP OR DRESS
thank you!!
Ever since i’ve found kibbe i started to appreciate my bodytype and i’m now more careful of clothing trends because most won’t fit me since i’m TR, it helps to find my style and not to waste a lot of money. Also your vids have been very helpful thanks! I’m excited for your next video
The cocktail party insert was fantastic
Thank you, I'm scrolling through all my pins and writing down all the elements I'm attracted to! I really appreciate you sharing this with us, I'm almost 30 and have never been able to pin point my style. I feel like my personalities always clash or I can't commit to ONE particular style, etc.
Girlfriend I’m 30 and I feel the same. Can’t wait to refine my style. Best of luck on your journey ❤️
I agree! I was thinking the same thing about the pinterest tip. Bloggers love to take shots that portray a certain aesthetic and not so much a personalized look accustomed to themselves. When I tried to go pin stuff I pinned similar elegant and casual feminine outfits but when I discovered I am TR more than half of the pins were gone because they didn't suit me as a body type either.
I love goth, vintage and elegant styles. Learning about the Kibbe system and understanding my own body type have helped me to combine those styles into something that makes sense and looks good! Thanks for your educational videos, keep em coming. :)
Really great advice
Yes I am in the process of rethinking and removing my wardrobe. I have been bored with for a while now. I think the problem is the shiny new object syndrome . I have a mix of favorites on Pinterest but some of them are in the moment favorites and a month later I don’t know what I was thinking 🤔.
I am getting to where I want more color and prints but I still want some minimalism. I love floral too. 🌷
The cocktail dress is an example of dressing for your “Fantasy Self”.
Merriam, are you interested in sharing your Myers-Briggs personality type? You clued us in on the introverted part. It's interesting how you seem to like analyzing and categorizing things. Perhaps that's a clue?
INTJ
@@merriamstyle Cool ;-) No wonder you can see so much into these things!
Hey @Merriam Style, having watched a good amount of your vids, I think you are an ISxJ. Here is why. You are extremely good at cataloguing and organizing information, simplifying complicated ideas and study systems thoroughly. The fact that you studied these systems, and then improvised upon it could indicate either Thinking function. It would be speculative for me to guess which one. You seem to use a dominant introverted function, specifically sensory. So it would make sense for your type to be ISxJ, since you identify yourself as some kind of a judger. A lot of people tend to mistype based on online tests, what I am telling you is based on years of studying the theory and cognitive functions themselves. Knowing our true personality type can unlock so much more of our inner potential, and you can maximize it :)
I studied MBTI and was obsessed with it for a few years, reading Jung's text, etc, and was professionally typed INTJ. My way of going through life has made so much more sense to me after that and it has really helped me with self awareness.
You could consider my color analysis system, which is more consistent with Ni-Te. Everything must make deep sense with the theory, and if there's something that isn't consistent with the external data (Te-Se), then the theory has to be fixed or tweaked. I try to make my content accessible and explain it with real life examples, so it might seem more S because of that. But I'm no ISTJ of any kind, trust, my mom is an ISTJ. And I certainly don't have Fe so I'm no ISFJ.
Also I have the whole inferior Se thing that you could imagine, and I majored in physics. Rehearsed and planned out videos can be deceptive. :)
As an INTJ woman, I probably had to develop my little SFP side, my inferiors, so that could be what you're seeing as well. People love to tell me I'm all kinds of different types, so I'm used to it. But I am certain I'm INTJ.
One time I had a drink at an event and got to talking with someone about MBTI, and he said he studied it professionally and thought I was an ISFP after talking with me for about 20 minutes about relatively shallow topics. Of course a female INTJ would come off as an ISFP after a drink talking with a stranger.
I was originally mistyped as INFP, and I'm so grateful to the people who truly saw me and typed me correctly. They said they couldn't believe it, thought I was an INTP trying to be an INTJ at first....but nope, they settled that I'm truly INTJ. Just female.
@Merriam Style Thanks for explaining the process with clear and concise examples. Agreed that videos can be deceptive, understanding your thought process here was more helpful. Looks like you know your stuff, so that's awesome!
In my case, being a terrible shopper and not knowing anything about what I actually want to wear, pinterest was very helpful, because it helped me to gather the concepts I was attracted to. I learned a lot about myself doing this and I don't think of any other platform which could give me such opportunity ... But I totally agree with the idea that pinterest inspirations should be blended together so as to express your true self ! :)
THIS is the personal style advice everyone can use. Thank you for the insight.
That top looks amazing on you!
This so true. We are complex, and can't tell all in one outfit.
I went to kibbe in 88.Im now 56 soft classic love it and never went back. When I was a child I was a soft Gamine
Merriam, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and findings with us. I’m at a point in my life where I’m basically overhauling a bunch of things. My wardrobe is among them- and you’re really a huge inspiration. I’ve actually been binging on your videos the last few days while brainstorming and planning 😅 I literally just opened a Pinterest account yesterday so I’ll keep your advice in mind (;
Thank you truly! You are wonderful! 😊
Awww yay, welcome, and thank you for such a lovely comment!
I really liked your approach and thoughts, as a fellow-ex-goth, that part also reminded me for my teenage self. :) Thank you!
I am jeans and tee shirts, jeans and sweaters, jeans and blouses, jeans and... my only exception to jeans are casual dresses and skirts, nothing fancy. Fancy is not me
I agree wholeheartedly I think my style overall is classic, gamine, and romantic mixed and matched depending on my mood/event/situation and it made my style life so much easier and now I truly love all the things I wear and rarely have "regret" purchase a now.
This is the most intelligent analysis of personal style I have seen in over a year of searching. Thank you for these exceptionally fine insights.
I often find the bloggers and youtubers whose style I most admire -- Leena Asad, for example, at withloveleena -- are so totally unlike me in build, age, life-stage, and even personal budget as to make attempts to find inspiration from their posts not only futile but often actually counterproductive. Other stylists I enjoy may be closer to me in age or build but dress according to entirely different parameters. It's very confusing!
Your observations on this subject are both very helpful and very reassuring. I really had believed that I must not have a style, perhaps not even a personality!
Finally, it seems to me that the perspective you offer in this video could be applied to a wider sphere of life, far beyond personal style. It seems our culture of abundance and overwhelming choice may have engendered a tendency to reject possibities that we fear don't adequately represent our image of ourselves. As if the outside world could be reduced to a hashtag and selected according to the preferences with which we wish to be identified. That's a recipe for disaster.
I watch all of your videos, which are consistently informative and have helped me immensely with finding my style. However, I wanted to just say you look STUNNING in this vid. 👏👏👏
Thanks, Merriam. I look forward to this series. You have been so helpful in fine tuning my style and wardrobe last few months.
It makes a lot of sense to combine archetypes: for me i'm between grunge and gothic lolita. I don't like bright or pastel colours, so the style of gothic lolita - dark colours mixed with black and more edgy clothes suit me. It is still kind of vintage, cute and feminine, but not on the same level as wearing pastels. From grunge I love leather jackets and chunky heels, boots giving me more comfort and stability when walking.
I like dark colors but earthy colors are good too. Black is my go to.
I enjoy the sporty look of wearing a sports bra and baggy sweatpants with my hoop earrings and curly shoulder length hair.
I also enjoy those cute peter pan collared dresses with waist emphasis or a retro style dress.
I like looking at Ingenue and some Grunge or Gothic styles but with a more Minimal look to them.
I usually wear jeans, t shirt/simple black blouse, and either black combat boots or running shoes. Sometimes I switch it up and wear a skirt (never the tight straight ones) at ankle or slightly above the knee length.
So much love for this!! Thank you for sharing your beautiful mind with the world Merriam ❤️
that spoke to me so much. Being a mom for a couple years I really lost a sense of who I am and what is my style . What I used to wear or feel like I liked before is just not fitting anymore or is not practical . I started to think I might have a Multiple personality disorder 😂 Just because I love so many various styles that are very opposite. This makes me realize that I just have a complexe personality and it feels good being told your style doesn't have to represent EVERY SINGLE PART of you. Seems logic but it never sank in apparently! Thank you so much , Can't wait to see your next video on the subject 😊❤️
aw thank you for sharing!
I pin classic sophisticated to smart casual clothing which i would love to wear, however in real life im so lazy i couldn't be bothered getting dressed up unless i absolutely have to, so i wear jeans and singlet tops
Buy that cocktail dress! Once you have them the opportunity to wear them will come 😎
Ha! This really speaks to me. Fortunately I have never used Pinterest. But I managed to make my closet my multiple personality Pinterest page. 🙃Thank goodness the minimalist in me already took control and got rid of over 70% of it all. 🤪
Now, I just need to figure out WHAT TO WEAR...??? (Just, ha)
Thank you 🙏🏼 Great video so helpful.
Is this why my fellow ladies always complain about not having anything to wear? Perhaps they get bored with their clothes because they didn't truly love the pieces when they bought them?
I don't think I necessarily have a "style"; I suppose I've never really thought of it. I do have a problem of randomly feeling inclined towards certain pieces, however. For instance: I've felt inclined lately towards corduroy in a cool, deep brown. I've yet to find such a garment (which would be a suit, preferably). This isn't too much of an issue, as the above piece fits into my "preference box" and I've a lovely pink button-up and deep red tie that would go so wonderfully with it, should I find one. I've also felt inclined towards sailor collars, and my they are difficult to find!
I wonder if you would do a video on signature hairstyle and/or makeup? I've yet to meet a lady who looked prettier with makeup and I think it's partially to do with the fact that some tend to follow trends without thinking of their unique balance. I think the same can be said for hair, though to a lesser extent. My great grandmother once remarked that she sees so many young women on telly with long, straightened hair who would look so much lovelier (in her opinion) with some wave or curl. A signature makeup-look and hairstyle makes getting ready in the morning so quick as well!
Totally get what you're saying! I'm almost 40 but still struggle with incorporating each "archetype"/style. I do have separate pinterest boards for each style I'm obsessed with, but I struggle to mesh each of these extremely different styles into one.
try the technique that I talk about in the next video! What are your archetypes that you're drawn to?
@@merriamstyle Yes! I'm currently watching your next vid! Love it, very helpful. Combo of- Boho/Native American/spiritual, Stepford Wife 50's, and Goth/dark. Quite a conflict of styles lol but this helps ❤👍Will check out your other videos, love your personality.
Amazing video as always! Keep up the great work :)
Thanks to ur channel, i found confidence in my body and what to wear 🤓
After i saw your video a weird method on how to find your style I made a pinboard for each style persona, then wrote down similarities and conpromises. Then I created a pinboard with those critwria.
Pinterest is just a tool that can be used badly or be very helpful.
I LOVE you right now!! The more I pinned, the more I lost my style sense!
Thank you for sharing your process so thoughtfully. I also have a "stye" pinterest board that is a wild compendium of various influences and styles, and just like you I thought "How on earth can I find my own style in this kaleidoscope of images?" Yet at the same time I knew they all attracted me for some reason, and there is indeed a consistency there. Thank you for inspiring me to find and put words to the threads that connect them all. I think you are brilliant!
I love that you're really digging here into finding authentic style. That topic fascinates me too. It was fun to hear more about your style. Also speaking of fashion just wanna give a shout-out to the StyleLikeU channel too, been finding it very inspiring glimpses at peoples' confidentally authentic styles, often pretty quirky and unconventional.
Same. I love shirt dresses and collared shirts. But when I put them on they make me look fugly and off. It looks good on the hanger or in a photo but on me it looks too masculine. Too dramatic and angular and I am a romantic body type. So i thrive on flowy things not structured clothes.
Really good tips. For me I would probably say that the things I would like to express are my sensitivity, nurturing side, creativity (I'm not the guy on my profile picture but I'm a musician) and my thoughtfulness. Too bad I'm both theatrical romantic and a guy so I would probably be laughed at/fired if I got the style I think goes with that best.
I'm envisioning a ruffled shirt with some higher waisted pants for you - this seems very musician like and appropriate to me!
I think if you really do the process Merriam describes in her next video you can find ways to either amp it up or tone it down for different occasions, and also remember that people like David Bowie were "weird" to start with - now they are style icons. 😊
@@gracelewis6071 Thanks, I'll give it a try.
What another amazing analysis, you are the one who thoroughly thought about the confusion we have, expressed what I wanted to say for a long time but never found a way to express it, big hug X. ❤️💋
OMG Merriam, two videos? We have been blessed!!!
Oh boy, I’m into so many different archetypes that I don’t even know what my style would be lol. But ok, for starters I’m a petite TR so I could erase the Insta athletic/athleisure type of clothes (that I personally wanna rock) that look amazing on Naturals because they would look too heavy on my small, delicate bone structure. Now that I think about it I think the femme fatale archetype might be my favorite because I like that it can be sexy and badass at the same time and I just so happen to have the Kibbe type most associated with it, put two and two together 🤔.
My problem is that I have zero confidence in myself and having body dysmorphia doesn’t help since I hide myself under baggy clothes not wanting people to look at me. 😞 And also dressing sexy and form fitting and extra all the time wouldn’t work in a lot of settings lol. Also, because I’m petite, it’s hard to find clothes that fit well to begin with 😭. Man it’s so hard being a petite TR in a time when clothes for Naturals are trendy 😭.
You are so smart!
Merriam, your wardrobe preferences sound just like mine. The emo, minimalist, introverted style. Except I'm a flamboyant natural, so I need to find a way to get my whole wardrobe to be able to mix n match with the FN aspect. If you have suggestions, or anyone, let me know. I love black, gray, white, n tan. Color comes through with necklaces most of the time
Since I know Kibbe I don’t even care about what my personal style has to represent, I just found a safe place where I know all my clothes suit my body type!
super cool
Video on Myers personality type & Perfume based on the body type please
Great info! Is there anyway that your volume can be turned up? I have mine at max level but still can't hear you as well as I would like. Thank u, you are awsome!
Your content is unique! And you so deserve a professional camera and good lighting 👏
So much of this comes down to Erickson’s crises of development. If you’re a teenager struggling with finding your one true identity, relax a little. Not only do you gradually figure yourself out, but having one “authentic” identity that encapsulates all of who you are becomes less and less important.
Post: Cocktail dress for sale.
(little joke, ha)
This was great to give know how on self styling. Your life example gave me a good idea of how to do my own wardobe when I get time to sit and think about it
I am so excited for this video!
Your knowledge is so helpful xx
love this video! so insightful
I think I pin things that look good on the models wearing them but wouldn't necessarily look good on me
Very useful video as expected from you Merriam. I was wondering what your thoughts are on the eighteen ethereal archetypes by Olga brylinska as a tool for finding a personal style. They seem to fit very well with the ideas in this video.
This is SO helpful, thank you so much! You're so right and practical here dear Merriam :) and I'm going to write my preferences down. Very curious to see how I can apply these thoughts. Also, I think it's so cute how you used to dress emo/goth, as I gravitated towards those styles myself when I was younger! And the sentimentalism too, aww 💜 you're cute!
Love your content! 😍🤗
than you luiza it's nice to see you again!
Just saw the other video on your method of finding your personal style ,and it made so much sense to me.
I knew what elements of different styles l liked and was trying to intuitively meld them together,so this is gonna help a lot.
P.s. Sorry for not commenting more often, but writing in English is a bit challenging for me.
Have a nice rest of the day!🤗
@@luizabuna
That makes sense. Question: what if I like different styles every 2-3 years? Or I like to experiment? Can I put it together once for the whole life?
I am like you. I like to mix it up. One style for life would be incredibly boring for me.
I don’t express myself much through clothing or hair so I prefer to wear dresses. I find it easy as it is like a uniform... not much accessorizing involved. I do love color and makeup tho. My clothing and hair style is, easy. I do love soft natural looks and find that it’s easier to pull off in scoop necks or tops. I’m an extrovert and it’s so true... I love bold colors lol
This video was super helpful btw. I do have a romantic skirt that I bought but have never worn. The skirt is stunning but I can’t figure out how to work it 😂 the fabric is too thin to work for me :(
merriam i am soooooo like that...lots of styles eyc and it IS very hard to get dreased sometimes. I feel constrained by people's expectations too. but having some many different style each that lets parts of me express is VERY impractical! I'll have nearly a whole outfit on then realise the shoes or coats options are going to be wrong. not Odd in the good mix match way bit just plain wrong. so I have to start again. I have wardrobes and boxes full of clothes and shoes. I'm doing my Merriam Style Homework ready for your next video :)
How did you know I keep on buying coctel dresses on thrift shops?
It's pleasant, because it's something I really like, and I don't feel guilty about it, since thrift shops are really cheap.
I'll be thinking about your words, thanks
Very interesting and inspiring video, thank you! ❤️
Might I ask if you have any european or middle eastern ancestry?
Really good advice here!!!
Granted, I dress very flamboyantly, but think of my wardrobe as an invitation. It doesn't need to be a biography.
Iove you, thank you !
I'm always torn between dressing like a spy, black jeans or slacks with a black turtleneck and kind of sleek vampirish vs dressing with jeans, tucked into one sid tee, and doc marten boots. I find that both though cannot simultaneously exist. One is like Victoria Bekham and the other is Angelina Jolie. This is always very confusing for me.
Spy for, classic, gamine, slightly yin, elegant, Doc Martin's for natural, dramatic, flamboyant, yang .
Merriam: Don't pin everything because you will never wear it.
Me: *Stares at the strawberry dress by Lirika Matoshi*
Jokes apart, I've been into lolita fashion for 16 years now, so my everyday clothes (casual, professional, occassional, loungewear) resemble some aspect of it. I also get inspo from the new trend cottagecore, from nymphet/doelette fashion, larme kei and korean trends, that go pretty much with the Theatrical Romantic style that actually fits me. However, I also love anime and metal, so I got a bunch of graphic tees with those themes that match nothing else in my closet, but I am too attachted to them to let go. 😂 So I try to balance everything wearin skirts, cute shoes and dainty accessories. The thing that least matches my aesthetic is a pare of iridiscent combat boots that have like a lizard texture to it. 😅 But I love them so much, they remind me of dragons and dragons are my everything. Wish me luck haha.
I'm doing the opposite as in, pinning celebrities of my type to see what i like on them.
Drawback - theyre... celebrities. Very attractive, hard to concentrate on clothes
Extrovert, fun bright, pastel , lace feminine, black, sexy, cute bow, preppy fit, elegance. Emotional, warm, baggy, dance hip hop, active, functional, cute frilly, geometric shape, bobby, quality, timeless, shiny bling, pastel
Lifestyle incorporates essences in your style, not one elegance cocktail dress. Elegance color and style everyday wear, interesting pattern, artistic unique, handcrafted sewing and lace. Lace, audrey, grace kelly, self expression, sentimental, minimalist saving planet. Cancer, water, strong tiger, dragon. Delicate fabrics. Pop color
I buy elegant party dresses with nowhere to go!
I love your videos
Btw can you type men?
So what if you are a spring but also an introvert
then go for semi muted colors! they will already look soft on you! like peaches and salmons tend to look quite bright on warm and delicate, and quite soft on warm and radiant (which is closest to spring).
@Merriam Style I meant warm and radiant. In your older videos you call it spring.
🤍👗💕
Hey Merriam, thanks for sharing! Just a gentle note, the word "caricatures" is pronounced "KARE-uh-kuhh-churrz" (like the word characters, with the ah and chur sounds added). Keep up the great work!
might depend on where you're from. I defin8tley do not say "chures"! no shame in saying "cArrricatures" similar to couture and not a broad 'churrrz' in sight. making the 't' and ior sound light and clear.
Long response:
I loved this video. I think you are so on target in all your points. I pin so many things that I love but that aren’t necessarily the most flattering for my particular body type. I still can’t figure out my Kibbe type. I watched a video from Kelsey (maybe you’ve seen it) ua-cam.com/video/H4FRahMlQLs/v-deo.html in which she recommends considering Kibbe typing on a spectrum from extreme yin to extreme yang, rather than trying to pigeonhole yourself into a “type”. So where does one fall on that spectrum? For me, for example, that is pretty far extreme yin, except that I am somewhat taller at 5’7”, arms and legs slightly longer than a stereotypical romantic, and I will not tolerate wearing tight or extremely bodycon clothes. I could never dress like a Kardashian, and my curves are not THAT extreme (!). But I am fairly hourglass in shape with a defined waist. So...when I look at clothes that are categorized as soft classic, soft natural, and even often romantic, they feel comfortable for me because they all fall on “my” comfort zone of the Kibbe spectrum. Almost anything from the yin’ish end of the spectrum is something that will, objectively, look better suited to my body type than dramatic or extremely tall, narrow or constructed shapes. That’s just a matter of proportion. However, as you say, we in essence are so much more than our physical body “types”, and there are many ways to incorporate these affinities (including ethereal essences) into our wardrobes, with individual pieces, texture, color, etc. We can express our moods without looking like costumed mannequins. As you say, we are complex human beings, and we are not meant to be confined to a limited menu. I do believe anyone should wear whatever makes them feel good in their clothes and their own skin, but I also believe there are principles of proportion that we can take advantage of to look our best. You can express a natural or dramatic or romantic or goth or whatever mood by styling a simple, classic dress any number of ways, as long as the fit is right for you. I’m in love with simplicity and minimalism and capsule wardrobes currently, but it doesn’t mean we can’t express our mood through our attire, or that we have to be constrained to a stereotype. So I really love the direction you’re taking here. Furthermore, I love seeing you in the video, rather than only hearing your lovely voice. Your sweater and jewelry show your preferences: modest but elegant, simple, minimalist but with a nod toward sentimentality and a softness, a nostalgia, but nothing overt or over the top. I like it. 😊
It sounds like you are probably a soft dramatic.
Why are you filming in the dark?
watch at 144p and on a dial up connection to observe no change in quality. I sat too far from the light!!
I can't trust my pins because I LOVE gamine and romantic styles, but as a natural, I look absolutely terrible in them
you could incorporate bright colors from gamine, and the lightweight fabrics from romantic. I forgot, are you FN or SN?
@@merriamstyle you typed me as a pure natural :)
Where are you from? I think I've seen you before :)
0:45 Helena
I don't.i went to David Kibbe in the 80s
Retitle this video “why Pinterest in ruining your style” and more people will click
Could you do a video on your opinion of this test? It has been suggested by another UA-camr, but I don't know how accurate or helpful it really is. It puts all 13 types on a linear spectrum, which changes how I thought the types actually worked. I know it's meant to take some of the guesswork out of it, but it actually marks answers wrong if you answer something that does not fit a type.
13perfectshapes.wordpress.com/13ps-kibbe-quiz-female-version/
It's "CARicature", not "caRICature"
that might depend on the area you're from!
Really? I've never heard it said that way before in any region of the US. Whatev, your videos are still fascinating!