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How did Jason know Zyra's name? A name tag? "Hi, my name is Zyra". Little slips like this bring an automatic fail. The story is pretty silly anyway.
"...her violet skin glowed under the planet's twin sons..." shouldn't it be twin suns?
No, one of her twin son's is standing behind her in the picture.
Every story must have a beginning, a middle and an end. And do some editing.
He’s a chicken,
I would not have listen to story if I knew it did not have a ending ! NOW ! The story sucks !
WHAT? NO HOOK UP??
How did Jason know Zyra's name? A name tag? "Hi, my name is Zyra". Little slips like this bring an automatic fail. The story is pretty silly anyway.
"...her violet skin glowed under the planet's twin sons..." shouldn't it be twin suns?
No, one of her twin son's is standing behind her in the picture.
Every story must have a beginning, a middle and an end. And do some editing.
He’s a chicken,
I would not have listen to story if I knew it did not have a ending ! NOW ! The story sucks !
WHAT? NO HOOK UP??