He Lost His Woman to A Stud (with special guest Orange) Ep. 08
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- Опубліковано 17 жов 2024
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I feel we get caught up in the "body" IE my woman left me for a woman as opposed to the woman I was with left me for a more fulfilling relationship and it just so happened to be another woman. This is a tough one to "unpack"
Love this comment!
Pick an attractive man next time for this subject matter please! It almost seems like y’all chose an easy target, because a lot of hetero women wouldnt want him. A fine 🥷🏼 that could compete with the shellas woulda been way more interesting!
I'm going to say something controversial, and I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but to me, what I am about to say rings true. I've been on this planet for a significant amount of time, and had many experiences. He's right that protectors need healers, and vice versa. He needs to run that statement back again, and really think about it. We all lean to one side more than the other, and most healers have a little protector in them, and most protectors have a little bit of healer in them, but not enough to claim as a true trait. That withstanding, here is the deal: I knew before we were even two minutes in, that this man exudes feminine energy. I do not mean that as an insult, nor am I implying that he is gay. I don't believe that. I am saying though, that mother nature always tries to find balance. The woman he thinks he needs, will not be as attracted to him, because the feminine rules healing energy. This is not to say that men can't be healers, some can, but it is not in the majority or the "norm." Because he identifies as a healer and not a protector, the woman that connects with him will go into balance mode. She will be more aggressive. More into not being overly expressive or showing emotions that some believe represent weakness, i.e. crying, complaining, etc. So, if he wants a healer for a partner, then he will have to shift his energy a bit. He's attracting protectors. It's not that the woman he desires is rare or does not exist, it's that those women are not attracted to his particular energy. Ultra feminine women are going to be attracted more to either stud lesbians, or very masculine "protector" (Alpha) men. They don't want to be on the same energy field with a man that identifies as a healer, which is more of a Beta characteristic. Nature always tries to create balance, even in the midst of chaos.
Your comment isn’t controversial at all. We’ve stated this in another episode when we spoke with Lanaya, the woman that went back to men.
Definitely not controversial.,. It really boils down to conditioning. We exist in a patriarchal society that says " men protect" but have you ever watched a mother (feminine) protect her young and her mate OR the protector, killer (male) become a nurse or nurturer when their child or mate is ill or in need? I feel that we as a culture need to stop assigning gender roles and heteronormative narratives where they do not apply. There are instances and circumstances when men will have to/ need to protect women and vice versa. We need each other EQUALLY, I just feel that once sex or an intimate relationship is off the table, my well being is now negotiable.. So because I don't want to fuxk you (men) my safety and well being are no longer of importance?? We have to start caring for one another regardless of preference.
As always Thank you both for the opportunity and chance to be on yall platform. 🤞🏾🧡
Our pleasure! We appreciate your presence and openness!
Thank you as well O!!! We enjoy your perspective and you’re ALWAYS welcomed 💪🏾🙏🏾
Thank you for your vulnerability and openness to share with such a wide audience.
He sounds like a good guy. I hope he finds the right woman for him.🙏🏾❤️
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
People go through many relationships before they find someone they align with
Just because someone is bi doesn’t mean they want you both at the same time. It was an unfulfilling relationship, period.
The montage of your years of friendship at the end of the episode is so so touching and heartwarming.
Thank you 🙏🏽
Nobody wants to feel optional...I LOVE IT❤❤
That INDIVIDUAL AND TOGETHER growth!!THAT part ❤❤❤
Great Convo!
The term he was referring to is "stem", a stud and femme collectively. ❤
I'm Glad to see a Man talking for this, cause i'm Anxious to Hear what he gotta say 😅😅
Great convo! I think sometimes we out grow people , rather the experiences are gained and it’s absolutely nothing they’ve done wrong …the issue is not being honest with your partner and instead some choose to step outside the relationship because honestly we’re not taught how to express ourselves and that it’s okay to put you first and want something different. Emotional maturity/intelligence is really what 90 percent of people are lacking today.
The ability to not take anything personal is a super power in this construct.
People aren’t leaving “you” for someone else , they’re leaving for their personal fulfillment whatever that maybe and it’s nothing wrong with that in my opinion, but the problem comes in when you play on somebody’s top and not give them a choice thus resulting in lying, cheating and wasting someone’s time which is so disrespectful lol don’t waste my time lil baby. Love this show from one podcast host to another I love yall perspectives continue to be great! Continue to experience, express and expand your consciousness 💜💫
Agreed!
People stay in relationships when they know that's not their person
And that's not right
Girl, you Nailed this!👏👏👏👏👏 I don't want Nobody's Pretending to wanna be with me, it need to be from the Heart❤
@Rita30rage Exactly!🗣💯 some people are not Genuine.
@@latashajordan2893 same 😊
That optional line, yees
The honesty of 2024 is that more hetero black men feel threatened by masculine presenting women because we can have that connection emotionally, and spirituality with each other. Not even just physical anymore. Crazy.
Agree ❤😊
Always great conversations
Thank you for tuning in!
This was damn Good episode. Good show 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Thank you 🙏🏽
This is a Great Topic to talk about. Normally alot of Men Trip over a Woman leaving him for another Woman. I Guess it Depends on the Vibe. At the end of the day, Nobody should not leave their Partner for Nobody, no matter who it is.
They have DL WOMEN FR
Facts I’ve had women come on to me plenty times and I like I’m not trying to be an experiment or somebody’s side piece.
I think you guys should do an episode on lesbian women who are on the DL.
I ran across yall podcast a few weeks ago 😊it's very informative & entertaining @the same time 😅according 2 the guests I ❤it Keep up the good work. As humans we r all born 2 b protectors & healers but men were raised 2 b tough & providers not 2 show weakness as boys so it's hard 4 them 2 express emotions mental health is real n society 2day They need ppl 2 talk 2 express their feelings ALL yall episodes b on pt.🖤🖤🖤🖤
Thank you for tuning in 💪🏾
We truly appreciate you!
Man I honestly feel bad for this guy I can clearly see the pain on his face.. ... Just know it wasnt anything personal with you, and please dont feel as if you're inadequate in any way. Yall just didnt align, but believe me, there are plenty of women who are willing to see where things go with you. I truly wish him the best
Damn people gonna be figuring things out forever 😅😅😅
that’s what life is..
@@mvniistupid
People* don't know what they want.
The narrative that women don't know what they want needs to be eliminated.
It's men out here still trying to figure out who they are and what type of partner they want as well.
Indecisiveness is a human trait. Let's stop with these divisive arguments. We're all trying to figure out.
People be waisting people time when they not healed
Whether it's perceived to be a rewarding challenge when a man takes a woman from another woman or a woman takes a woman from a man, I can't help but ask, what QUALITY of woman are you getting in either situation? Is that woman someone who you really NEED in your life or is she just a pawn in your challenge experiment or game?
That’s a great question!
People needto figure out who they are and what's meant to be gonna be
The ending question helps me put to words why I felt this subject has been an odd one in general (from the previous episodes).
No one can “take” someone from someone else.
If someone can be “taken,” they were already not that invested in where/who they got “taken” from.
And so, you don’t “lose” people to people either, especially if you know that people don’t own people.
The person was just dishonest with themselves and others, for whatever reason (survival, societal norm, sneaky, etc.)
Understood. Our choice of words were off
@@TheShellaSpherePodcast I think it was necessary, tho. I watched it from the one with just y’all two, to the one with the woman guest til this one and didn’t get the wording (or what was throwing me off) til the ending of this one, when it clicked for me. It’s all a process.
You know what I just wanted to say to this dude... don't change who you are because you seem like such a lovely straight guy, and her leaving / cheating on you seems to me like it's something she needed to work out
Facts… that’s where the gender roles come into play when people expect someone to play a role that does not fit their capabilities and personality. Heavy on getting to know people and and balance each other out. 💯💯💯
IF you're practicing monogamy in your relationship, being bisexual is of no concern. Heterosexuals are still attracted to others. Monogamy means the same for both: "I can look but not touch".
Agreed!
I Agree💯🗣
Why take someone from their partner if you not trying to make that person your forever person
People gotta heal and deal with their traumas before pursuing someone or getting in a relationship
Another Dope convo
Much love to you!
This is a great topic and I enjoyed the episode. We need a redo tho with a different guy . ( no shade)
😂
Cheating is cheating no matter the sex
I Agree💯🗣
Pisces 🤩 I should have known! And you get along with a Leo?
Lol absolutely!! Leo’s are actually my favorites!! I have two sisters who are Leo’s and my best friend 🤍💪🏾
I don’t think he was upset about the relationship I think it was about being abandoned period.
The exterior doesn’t matter to me. I need certain feminine traits and certain masculine traits.
Ok let’s not do the women don’t know what they want thing because people in general don’t know what they want fr. Because men and studs will love to say I want the good girl the girl that don’t do to much and then get the girl that don’t much or the opposite to what they say they don’t want lol. So let’s not do that aina
Then even before I came out as bisexual I would tell the guy I was truly involved with and I knew it was safe to say I would tell him and give him the option if he want to deal with that side of me. Even with masculine presenting women that’s the first thing that comes out cuz I ain’t got time for the I don’t wanna take you seriously because you bi bs that comes out sometimes. I feel if men want women to come to them and let em know they got to put the ego aside make it a safe place to express and not expect that oh so we gone be sex’n chicks together… cuz truth be told I don’t want you there when I’m wit her honestly 🤷🏾♀️ and who I’m with is who I’m with in not into mixing the two in my sex life.
At the end of the day we need to create safe spaces for the people we want involved in our lives because if not you’ll be in the dark like a overbearing parent 💜💜💜
You are correct. People in general don’t know what they want.
You lose them how you get them
Why people still confused about life
Why should we care?
8 episodes so far, and half orbiting around hétéro and/or male. The editorial choices are puzzling...
Anywho, it was a nice surprise seeing you on Apple's Dark Matter.
Agreed I'd like to see more of a discussion of just queer women.
On this podcast, we discuss things that we are curious about, experiences we’ve had, and topics we are capable of adding our views to, etc.. We are open to topic suggestions from our supporters but we will not limit ourselves to just 1 box. I’m sure there are other podcast out there that can cater to your listening pleasure.
We sure there are podcast out there that only speak on queer topics. We’re more open on this podcast.
Still upset about Daniella lol #darkmatter
lol
I love that this was an empowering episode & it was the 8th one. The Shellas did a great job navigating a delicate narrative. There’s always power in shedding light on polarities. In this case they were sitting next to each other. I definitely watched this & saw many Major Arcana topics fly out one after another. This conversation said a lot more than what they said.
P.S. what Aina said about capacity🤌🏼>
Gratitude 🙏🏾 that’s our goal. We want to change the dynamic of conversations 💪🏾
We truly appreciate this! Thanks for tuning in!