"James, you get -461 points because your ambulance doesn't say "ambulance" on it" -Richard Hammond, while in the background, his ambulance which says "Lo-Cost Nuclear Disposal"
It's also funny because all the letters in AMBULANCE are symmetrical (A,M,U) or could just be rotated to face backwards (B,C,E) except the L and N. So it's like 7/9 of the way there
He's right you know, along with signposts, speed limits and school zones. Teach the children not to be in the road, don't make everybody driving past the children late
You missed “Did you know in the whole history of TVR there is no recorded incident of one ever breaking down” “I’ve heard that.” That ones my favourite 😂
@Googleisgay Googleispaedos Let’s see, if I was in a science class, this would probably be how it went: “uhhh, dr. grordbroad phd, um the certified national international paper of nissan jukes and fish genocide, uhhhh yes, and yes…?”
The magic of this trio, can never be copied. Something about British humour, and these three crazy personalities, just worked, and made it an enjoyable watch.
I like this Jeremy's way of hyperbolizing everything but making the numbers sound precise along with him saying articles incorrectly and using words like "unbeautiful". I guess he has probably done that 569 million times already.
To answer Jeremy's question in the first clip, it's because safety glass breaks into small pieces with no sharp edges. Regular glass has REALLY sharp edges when shattered
@@bananasstuff3344 I mean he probably didn’t catch that.... like a lot of this stuff is minor stiff you don’t catch in the moment but so obviously fake
"I shouldn't have to suffer because somebody has got an anglia." I love May's humor. It's the kind that just makes me laugh in a way that somehow end in a cough on account of how meaningful it is XD
@@bulbman256 In 1939 a group of Germans called the National Socialist German Workers Party also tried to see how fast they could drive from Germany to Poland, although they used tanks.
This reminded me of a caption in a local newspaper where residents complained of teenagers doing 0-60 in 2.5 seconds in the high street why buy a Veyron when you can have a £500 Corsa that's just as fast
I really like these compilations. I recently subscribed, I'm wondering if you could do a Hammond, Clarkson, & May "Immediately (or Suddenly), there was a problem" compilation.
Honestly though the first one does make sense. It’s not safety glass if it’s in a million small pieces flying around in an accident. It’s better off being a few big pieces or something
2:55 The police one is the most obvious one XD The speed section - lose 1 point for every second slower than the Stig's time Stig did 1.48 (1 minute 48 seconds) Hammond wrote - 72 (1 minute 12) which would add to a time of 3 minutes flat But Hammond did a 3.14 in that challenge (86 seconds slower than the Stig) so he should have put minus 86. Actual scores should have been: 179 for Clarkson 165 for Hamond Clarkson should have won The Police Car Challenge
For anyone wondering why "safety glass" is broken into many small pieces instead of "4 pieces", imagine driving and a rock hits your windshield, breaking it into four large pieces of sharp material flying in different directions (including towards you in the driver's seat).
Just about to enjoy some fake statery, however all I got was Jeremy Clarkson saying "right", then I had to pause it to obliterate a mosquito flying past me with a fully extended elastic band at point blank range. I couldnt even find a corpse
The best of all of these was the Porsche cars one where Jeremy beats them by turning his Pasha 928 into a living room seat set, followed closely by the one James won by unboxing his car on the internet which was actually a great insight.
"The Vespa weighs 940,000 tons"
thats a heavy vespa
is that made from tungsten?
@@hashimina_ lead
@@jeremyfong5684 Tungsten's actually denser than lead
That was my favourite one of them all
"James, you get -461 points because your ambulance doesn't say "ambulance" on it" -Richard Hammond, while in the background, his ambulance which says "Lo-Cost Nuclear Disposal"
I thought about that
It's also funny because all the letters in AMBULANCE are symmetrical (A,M,U) or could just be rotated to face backwards (B,C,E) except the L and N. So it's like 7/9 of the way there
He would argue that it was much more effective in dispersing the traffic in front of him.
I love Jeremy’s dominance in this video.
Jeremy is the king of Top Gear. James and Richard are valued princes (unlike Andrew)
@@evilmario6061like this mans comment if you get the joke
@@brockley5960 i didnt
@@brockley5960 hahahahahah
Hello Olivér
“Until this government gets rid of every speed bump. We are all going to die”
- Jeremy Clarkson *whatever year* colourised
He's right you know, along with signposts, speed limits and school zones. Teach the children not to be in the road, don't make everybody driving past the children late
@@johnmccrossan9376 ? think about what ur saying
@@jitt9264 woosh
Speed bumps are bad for the environment as it unnecessarily causes people to brake and accelerate wasting fuel
we should also do something about those busses
3 times the pacific ocean each week?!
“You make up statistics to get printed, and you’ll sound really good.”
Sounds about right nowadays.
The Brexit Party be like
aka the Labour Manifesto
The daily mail
@@seanonraet8327 let's be honest, basically every single media source out there xD
The Remain Campaign be like:*
#FixedIt
You missed “Did you know in the whole history of TVR there is no recorded incident of one ever breaking down” “I’ve heard that.” That ones my favourite 😂
Well technically its true: TVRs don’t break _DOWN_ , they blow *UP!*
That episode had lots of fake statistics....like about the no of tourists visiting stoke every year....and the rare roadworks in Britain....
@@fahadahmad7088 true
@@fahadahmad7088 and when they had a distance to travel in miles and then massively over converted into kilometres 😂
@@paulhenderman4584 yep😂😂😂
Making up fake stats is literally me when I have no idea what to say in Science Class...
take a course in statisics and you can learn to make up misleading conclusions from real numbers for the right price.
literally
“Scientists have estimated that 18 million fish die every three weeks due to nissan jukes”
@Googleisgay Googleispaedos Let’s see, if I was in a science class, this would probably be how it went:
“uhhh, dr. grordbroad phd, um the certified national international paper of nissan jukes and fish genocide, uhhhh yes, and yes…?”
Just make shit up and sound convincing, that's how bureaucracy works
The magic of this trio, can never be copied. Something about British humour, and these three crazy personalities, just worked, and made it an enjoyable watch.
What ever those 3 are doing it will be intertaining
English, but otherwise a full 10 points :)
"You've eaten it"
"Yes I had"
This is the exact moment in which Top Gear peaked.
Valid
'it's got a million horsepower! and it's invisible...and it has CANNONS'
the deranged look in Hammonds eyes when he says that always kills me
Literally reading your comment as it played
Hehehehe
James: Jeremy you got.......
Richard: a gear lever in his bottom
His name is HAMMOND
@@mohit4387 his name is Richard Hammond
@@johnhunter7244 you blithering idiot it's Hammond
@@mohit4387 no you
You forgot about the 4 million points James lost in the man with van challenge.
that was a real stat though. the challenge was to tail gate the car. he did not do so. Minus four million was fair
His van is too slow lol
@@spartacus778 well no the real answer was how far away he was to start with as that was the closest he ever was
Its heavy
@n1thmusic229 he was right behind them then they both started off and he never caught up
Jezza saying "Pleeeeeeeeease" and "Sweeeeeet" compilation
Or the trio trying/want to murder kill eachother compilation
@@lewishamilton.f1.44 so, pretty much every challenge then
Not the sweet thing - that and saying Jaaaag were the only things that weren't funny, they were cringe
@@owenlea6505 Jaaaaag was funny the only thing that is cringe is when a 12 year old says dude is that a supra and we can all agree there😂
@@owenlea6505 Kids saying things are "cringe" is unbelievably fucking cringe
May: c o c k
Hammond: I don't even know what I'm saying
Clarkson: *bullshit logic go*
hammond, clarkson, and may backing away from the finish line for their saftey compilation
"AND ACROSS THE LINEE"
I wish you included the clip where Jeremy goes around a track in an old car and goes "I'm up to 190mph now.. 200...210mph"
Merc in Germany?
@@MJ-uk6lu Ford Sierra
Don't call that an "old car" 😢
And across the line.
I am the first to arrive and as you might expect, I’ve done this properly
You‘re literally the third, *Captain Slow...*
There's at least 8,000 comments before yours though
@@anangrycat86 except there's only 9
@@boyd-desmond-69420 it's a video about made up statistics wake up mate
That’s the best first comment on a video... in the world
I like this Jeremy's way of hyperbolizing everything but making the numbers sound precise along with him saying articles incorrectly and using words like "unbeautiful". I guess he has probably done that 569 million times already.
Lmao
Eleventy million.
The scoreboard part is literally how my professors grade me after the exams
"I shouldnt have to suffer because someone might have an Anglia" I agree with James on this.
“I’m making it up to make a point”
😂😂😂
Twitter in a nutshell
To answer Jeremy's question in the first clip, it's because safety glass breaks into small pieces with no sharp edges. Regular glass has REALLY sharp edges when shattered
You don't say
how about a fake deaths compilation? James dying in Albania and Jeremy getting eaten by dogs are some that comes to mind
Jeremy got blown up by an Apache in his Lotus Exige test too.
"Fake" we all know James gets resurrected every episode
James ran out of fuel trying to leave Germany and got shot
@@GeneralAeon hi saint
"100% of the British people would vote for someone who's interested in formula 1"
Former motoring journalist Boris Johnson: Hold my Beer...
Formula 1 Party
Fun fact: there was 235 times Jeremy clarkson said: “it’s ridiculous” in this video
I hadn't even realised this was a gag. I knew the 'Hammond scoring -1000' in challenges' was a well known gag, but not this.
So you thought that a vespa actually weighed 94,000 tons?
@@bananasstuff3344 I mean he probably didn’t catch that.... like a lot of this stuff is minor stiff you don’t catch in the moment but so obviously fake
Not so much a compilation of “Fake stats”, more like a compilation of “Scoreboard after cheap car challenges” 😂
cry about it
Basically a "numbers" compilation
Those handcuffs looked like it came directly out of James’s dungeon.
W a i t
James' _WHAT?_
6:32 unreal delivery
Alternate title : "Hammond got bullied from the scoreboard by the orang utan and the spaniel"
*Captain Slow
The Hamster*
Please never stop making these compilations🤣 we can never let top gear and its humour die
The "YUUUP!" from Richard at the end really got me
"I shouldn't have to suffer because somebody has got an anglia." I love May's humor. It's the kind that just makes me laugh in a way that somehow end in a cough on account of how meaningful it is XD
"You just did" Excellent response to Jeremy instead of explaining maths 🤣
Literally just opened the PC to work but this notification came just then
3:57 How did no one laugh at that joke, I missed it myself a few times but it's very funny.
I don’t get it
@@bulbman256 In 1939 a group of Germans called the National Socialist German Workers Party also tried to see how fast they could drive from Germany to Poland, although they used tanks.
@@wolfgangamadeusmozart8772 Ahh thank you music making man.
It's the little things that make Top Gear the best show... in the world.
Sorry but ‘so I score....’
‘ONE..’ always gets me 🤣
This reminded me of a caption in a local newspaper where residents complained of teenagers doing 0-60 in 2.5 seconds in the high street
why buy a Veyron when you can have a £500 Corsa that's just as fast
"Well yes, I'm making it up but I'm making it up to make the point"😂
The amount of people who actually use this logic irl and online is enormous
I love everytime he adds million to his insane numbers
Oh man this makes me miss the golden age of Top Gear so much
I really like these compilations. I recently subscribed, I'm wondering if you could do a Hammond, Clarkson, & May "Immediately (or Suddenly), there was a problem" compilation.
There should be a "top gear maths" compilation
At exactly 4 minutes to 9 pm (GMT+7) I commented on this video
About 37 minutes ago
with or without daylight saving?
@@cvspvr without
The compilation we didn’t know we needed
The BBC used to make 100 trillion dollars an episode from this show and they went and fucked it all up.
This and the show with the Blue Box.
Aaaand because of that it iiiiis…naught!
This is hilarious.
I’ve rewatched this video a thousand times.
Clarkson while doing Rally Cross on TG:
“The number of people killed on a golf course last year was... well, nobody knows but it’s MANY MANY PEOPLE”
The most common question in these segments is “is it?”
“What you’re doing is making that up”
"It has a top speed, and I know this because I've done it, of 1 MILLION miles per hour. A million!"
“We don’t make the rules, Hammond”
(Yeah, we do)
Honestly though the first one does make sense. It’s not safety glass if it’s in a million small pieces flying around in an accident. It’s better off being a few big pieces or something
Do a Jeremy Clarkson's "Let's not get bugged down by ..." compilation
Bogged*
He's done it: ua-cam.com/video/vq4Z8TNV734/v-deo.html
you have missed the Van challange, where May got -4 million points. That is the best scoreboard moment lol
It’s called hyperbole, it’s what the public don’t understand about clarksons columns!
Love your channel, bro, keep up good work for us, Top Gear fans!
“If its one or more its an issue” he said that with such genuine concern lmao we love james
Technically, Jezza's statement that it takes 'minutes' to modify his P45 for indoors wasn't a lie.
We need a Richard Hammond calling Jezza a orangutan compilation 😂
2:55 The police one is the most obvious one XD
The speed section - lose 1 point for every second slower than the Stig's time
Stig did 1.48 (1 minute 48 seconds)
Hammond wrote - 72 (1 minute 12) which would add to a time of 3 minutes flat
But Hammond did a 3.14 in that challenge (86 seconds slower than the Stig) so he should have put minus 86.
Actual scores should have been:
179 for Clarkson
165 for Hamond
Clarkson should have won The Police Car Challenge
Ah, did you consider the boxes hammond crashed into?
@@Isaackariuki775 that was worth 1 point lol. The fact is Hammond's scoring was incorrect and was higher than it should've been
"buses kill 48 badgers a week"
clarkson would love buses these days i reckon
Thanks for leaving in the bit of Hammond eating the results, that never gets old lol
I could always see Hammond being a doctor for dr who tbh
Because he looked like David Tennant in these series
@@crashfan9997 true tbh lol
1:16 "if it's one or more it's definetly an issue"
Did James just back up Jeremy??
😂😂😂
And there was jezzas UA-cam video in the sierra cosworth " ...and coming upto 200 miles an hour...."
For anyone wondering why "safety glass" is broken into many small pieces instead of "4 pieces", imagine driving and a rock hits your windshield, breaking it into four large pieces of sharp material flying in different directions (including towards you in the driver's seat).
Jeremy: Makes up ludicrous statistic
James: "If it's more than one it's an issue..."
James is such an enabler...
You forgot James' "- 4.000.000 points" in a "Man With A Van Challenge".
This is basically the entirety of the classic British sports car episode
7:50 such a confident "yup"
i often wonder how long it took for them to realise the lightning in the bottle they had with this
i like to watch it as a time capsule a lot too
1:10
"What you do is making that up"
"Yes, but making a point, as Well"
There is literally a compilation for anything these guys do and it’s so fun
0:46 Clarkson described activists with 100% accuracy.
Funniest show on Earth, change my mind.
Mr. Bean is a potential candidate.
Yup have never had sooooo much fun watching these lads
7:11 "that's absolutely remarkable" 😅
My favorite TG compilation so far. Well done. Probably a couple more videos worth out there to be rediscovered too I believe.
We all must thank Jeremy for setting up the standard for poo evaluation (-1000).
"James, you got minus 4 million."
"What, for not tailgating?"
I thought I was a top gear fan. Until I realised I can't remember 2 of these episodes, the ambulances?!?!
Season 22, episode 3. Probably one of my favorite episodes.. I was laughing so hard I was hurting by the end of the episode!
@@dannicolosi2160
The patient drop off systems were great.
Just shoot them out the back into the hospital.
"If it's one or more, it's a problem" ~james may, my new favorite quote
Jeremy: Why did I get that?
James: You just did!
this should be called Jeremy Clarkson fake stats compilation
Just about to enjoy some fake statery, however all I got was Jeremy Clarkson saying "right", then I had to pause it to obliterate a mosquito flying past me with a fully extended elastic band at point blank range. I couldnt even find a corpse
"WhY dO I gEt MInuS A tHOuSaNd FoR pOo?" - Never thought I'd laugh so hard at a question about faeces.
If there is a video title, you can make a top gear compilation about it. Love it 🤣
The vespa one kills me everytime
Hammond got wasted in this video
I love the scoreboard compilation you added as well.
Minus 1000 is hilarious
1:39
Technically, Jeremy didn't make this up as he didn't quantify how MANY minutes
As always his genius exceeds expectations
It’s amazing how many Clips you can make
I really do miss these three....
Trivia alert: Safety glass breaks in to 100 pieces per 10x10 cm. If not, its not safety glass.
Side Trivia: if you aren't still finding bits of it many years after; it isn't proper safet glass ;-) .
You forgot about page eight milion from lancia vs audi
"Making it up to make a point" - hilarious sentence on top gear, terrifying when it comes from politicians
Lol this is a good compilation mate
The best of all of these was the Porsche cars one where Jeremy beats them by turning his Pasha 928 into a living room seat set, followed closely by the one James won by unboxing his car on the internet which was actually a great insight.
Add Jeremy winning extremely cheap (£100) car challenge simply because his Volvo costs £1.
Lol this reminds of of how the IMDB does there reviews.
They literally have a 8 minute highlight video about faking stats. This describes the show very well