Why Narcissists Self-Destruct, Inefficacious, Self-defeat (Dynamic Self-regulatory Processing Model)

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  • Опубліковано 10 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 67

  • @spinsterartist
    @spinsterartist 14 днів тому +62

    i know someone like those. when things don’t go his way, he falls apart and drinks heavily, and then goes “fuck it” and lives in filth. he could do so much better- he’s bright and can be charming. If he’d put half the effort into actually working on stuff as he puts into getting out of it, he’d be genuinely successful

    • @astrophotodawg2024
      @astrophotodawg2024 14 днів тому +6

      Yeah, I feel like this and honestly it sucks, because it feels like people are constantly fucking us apart and since I had to go through a relationship with a girl I nearly betrayed and was indifferent to and fucked me up big time in terms of self-worth, because I realized later, she threw the shit back at me and she had BPD, so she manipulated me big time. I feel like I can't handle an interaction anymore, as if everything was the constant fight I had in my relationship and as if everyone is out to bite. Fucking relate to all he says in this. I can't stop accusing other people of what I am going through. At least I got my shit together and stopped drinking. Guess how this helped with the issue after 1,5 years of sobriety? It gets even worse with time.
      I feel like cutting myself of from everyone and that this is a fucking move I am not wanting to be part of. At least I know why and how shit happens but it's like I can't get out of hopelessness.

    • @munchey99508
      @munchey99508 8 днів тому +4

      Sounds exactly like how my ex was. Glad to be rid of him! 🙏😊

    • @Michael-cb3uw
      @Michael-cb3uw 5 днів тому

      Talking about me?!?

  • @euaalanaoliveira
    @euaalanaoliveira 14 днів тому +72

    Doctor Vaknin, your videos need to be saved for posterity. No other psychology channel brings so much valuable information and improves our thinking in terms of quality.
    I am grateful to have come across your content.

  • @Barklord
    @Barklord 11 днів тому +8

    As a blue-collar worker, it's easy to be fooled by the idea that hard work leads to success. The economic system is structured so as to exploit people at the bottom while the surplus is reinvested in self-promotion of some owner or brand. As long as workers are treated as mere means to the ends of someone else's profit, the virtuous motives are disincentivised. Economic precarity leads to anxiety, bad judgement, and compulsive behaviour.

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  11 днів тому +3

      Search the Civilization playlist.

  • @velvetgardenia
    @velvetgardenia 14 днів тому +50

    This is 🏆.
    Narcs get off on getting OVER on people, even when they are capable of accomplishing a job in a socially + professionally acceptable manner, they ALWAYS prefer a shortcut, or a grift , even when the risk of loss ( they love risk) is high.
    This is often their downfall in both their professional and personal lives.

  • @annikaspahr9705
    @annikaspahr9705 14 днів тому +12

    I've been watching your videos for quite a while now Prof. Sam, especially The Mind of The Narcissist.
    I would always shake my head and say It can't be THAT bad for them, can it?
    I do realize now that Yes, it is.
    I can't imagine the utter chaos that was going on inside his mind all day long.
    I have more compassion for my ex now than I did a year ago, compassion at a distance that is.
    He used to have to win at everything at all costs, but it really is a no~win situation for everyone involved.

  • @cecillekinnear4585
    @cecillekinnear4585 14 днів тому +16

    Ive never been able to understand how certain types of people just can not be happy even though for many happiness is fleeting because life is for the most part hard. Imagine being such a ungrateful negative person that no reality exists outside self interest that must be defended.

  • @FrmDallas2Jxn
    @FrmDallas2Jxn 14 днів тому +46

    This explains the system that has those in "power" needing to "win" capitalism by having a lower class instead of everyone having basic needs at no cost. They have to have extreme narcissists everywhere for the system to continue. Escape the matrix/mind of your oppressors folks, and return to who you are.

    • @Kim-oo9vv
      @Kim-oo9vv 2 дні тому

      Socialism is great until you run out of giving away everyone else's hard earn money.
      Capitalism is the only way to survive.

  • @Blackwaterswamp
    @Blackwaterswamp 14 днів тому +12

    Omg you had me at that intro😂

  • @SylVie-t1c
    @SylVie-t1c 14 днів тому +5

    I love how you investigate the. NPD in a whole new perspective. It's truly fascinating subject. Ty 🧡

    • @nikkinaKAOS
      @nikkinaKAOS 13 днів тому

      He is a narcissist..he's said this in some videos ..he's coined many terms used for narcissim- he teaches this as well..professor of psychology..so he's top notch narcissism expert

  • @georgebenitez76
    @georgebenitez76 14 днів тому +9

    I would like to thank you for taking the time to make these videos. They cause a great deal of self-reflection in myself as I recognize a lot of these traits in myself. Thank you for holding up a mirror. That being said do you think this information could be used as a double edge sword some may use this as a weapon to damage others (and I admit I wanted to send daggers with this info but recognizing this in myself has stopped me, AKA throwing stones in a glass house) but it seems with genuine reflection you could recognize these traits within yourself. The world seems to be a self-reflection of ourselves, interacting with the world or collective conscious is affected by all those who participate, in as such a judgement on the world would be a judgment of oneself. All that being said I may be suffering from a cognitive dissonance and lack trust in myself. m ^...^ m

  • @prairrie
    @prairrie 14 днів тому +32

    They are such vile people . I remove myself as soon as they 'reveal.

  • @karinaagliullova8270
    @karinaagliullova8270 14 днів тому +10

    Prof. Vaknin, thank you for the lecture! Can you elaborate on narcissist's role models and people they look up to? What goes on in that kind of relationship? I searched the channel and couldn't find anything

  • @FlexWheeler-n2z
    @FlexWheeler-n2z 14 днів тому +14

    Narcissists are professional hypocrites.
    They (as a pattern) move the goal poasts to suit their advantage/convenience - because they stand for nothing, they have no code.
    The worst part about these energy vampires / predators:
    They don't do what they do to as a rebellion against being forced into bondage by god (and would therefore be more moderate and grateful for any handouts/mercy):
    they've signed up for the bondage, they adore the bondage - they just don't want to play fair or abide by any code (even of their own choosing)
    They trully are evil predators.

  • @majorsolutionsllc
    @majorsolutionsllc 14 днів тому +7

    Excellent!

  • @Александра_1_1
    @Александра_1_1 14 днів тому +6

    Thank you, Sam)❤️

  • @billyhaddix3442
    @billyhaddix3442 11 днів тому +3

    38:24 amazing narcissism is another name for destructiveness

  • @drstefaniebennett
    @drstefaniebennett 13 днів тому +3

    He is jealous of me sleeping with my blanket "instead of him for warmth". How can someone be jealous of an inanimate object?

  • @JackBurtonHaulage
    @JackBurtonHaulage 14 днів тому +4

    Thank you sir

  • @samebranchmedia4523
    @samebranchmedia4523 14 днів тому +14

    I really don't like the videos about destroying the narcissist. Wouldn't that be considered the need for revenge, and isn't that an issue? I get needing to deal with them, but they destroy themselves. we don't need to add to the pain.

    • @ac1119
      @ac1119 11 днів тому +4

      For the most part I agree with you, though some acts are so egregious retaliation is unavoidable. Narcissists know right from wrong and at some point in life unscrupulous characters need to be shown there are consequences for their actions. Revenge can be an act of public service, in some circumstances it serves as a deterrent for future misdeeds.

    • @baker8674
      @baker8674 9 днів тому +3

      Its better to be a warrior in a garden then a florist in war. Learn the way to fight back, fight back when needed and live on. No need to go full inquisitorial mode on them, but recognize how to defeat the "devil" 😅

    • @samebranchmedia4523
      @samebranchmedia4523 9 днів тому +1

      @baker8674 I separated myself from the devil I lived with. He can destroy himself. Lol, but I get what you mean.

  • @colibri7-m1h
    @colibri7-m1h 14 днів тому +5

    YESS!!! Another one and accurately what I would like. Yes indeed my favourite video🙂. So you think it is a determinism in their life, and if so, are they aware?

  • @MissShellBayleaf44
    @MissShellBayleaf44 14 днів тому +7

    любовь 🎉

  • @summit720
    @summit720 14 днів тому +9

    Wow!!! so to the point, my ex and her family act exactly alike. They think their blood is so pure that they don’t have any illnesses while they are popping pills to stay alive. 😂 ex thinks she is the exact reflection of God no job no money no talent but she is gonna become a billionaire “somehow.”

    • @summit720
      @summit720 12 днів тому

      @ Prof. Vaknin, your contents are so well put together and so in depth. Everything is making sense now, I am liberated and will not let her take advantage of my kindness ever again. I literally ruined my life trying to work things out.

  • @daniellejarrell1486
    @daniellejarrell1486 14 днів тому +6

    If narcissism was no longer a thing, would the world be in harmony? Are the narcissist the root to most of our problems?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  13 днів тому +5

      Search the Civilization playlist.

  • @promo130
    @promo130 14 днів тому +7

    Do narcs mirror you cause they think thats the person you want?

    • @OliviaSmith-r7i
      @OliviaSmith-r7i 13 днів тому

      Can you please give examples of mirroring?

    • @promo130
      @promo130 13 днів тому +5

      @@OliviaSmith-r7i they mirror the other persons character, and things he or she believes in , so he or she thinks he found his soul mate,

  • @ESB6-u3t
    @ESB6-u3t 14 днів тому +12

    Ah it's painful but it's shining the light on the dark face in the shadow eh

  • @MBX887
    @MBX887 14 днів тому +3

    Ha ha.. I could answer all those questions 🤯

  • @susheelchandra2913
    @susheelchandra2913 10 днів тому

    couldn't explain me better

  • @ismaildollie7156
    @ismaildollie7156 13 днів тому +4

    What happens when to a narc when he is sent to prison

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  13 днів тому +6

      They lose all narcissistic behaviors.

  • @elisa9359
    @elisa9359 14 днів тому +5

    Dear Prof. Vaknin, I did not understand this video...I gave him sex and services and still he would cheat on me .... Have I got sth wrong? Many thanks in advance !

    • @urebeatsgaming7285
      @urebeatsgaming7285 14 днів тому +14

      Tolerance to a drug (supply) causes it to have dimishing returns

    • @s_i_m_o_n_e_z_i_t_r_o_n_e
      @s_i_m_o_n_e_z_i_t_r_o_n_e 14 днів тому

      (Wahrhaftige, echte) "Liebe" und Zuneigung deinerseits wird vom N abgewehrt und abgelehnt. (Unbewusster) automatischer Abwehrmechanismus.

    • @eniv.eerden5606
      @eniv.eerden5606 14 днів тому +7

      Watch more videos until you get it. What he did has nothing to do with you.

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  14 днів тому +23

      He considered either the sex or the services (or both) inadequate.

    • @promo130
      @promo130 14 днів тому +3

      These narcs bunny hup from 1 to the next , a vicious cycle

  • @yoohoo909
    @yoohoo909 12 днів тому

    The ' teamwork' better aspect isnt an option when rhe narcissist(s) is using an imagined medical malady (that has no diagnosis after medical exams and labwork) as a tool for control and manipulation.

  • @promo130
    @promo130 14 днів тому +2

    What happens with the narc wen you expose their false selfse to the narc self and to other people?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  13 днів тому +3

      Search the channel for "mortif" (mortification).

    • @Quarce1
      @Quarce1 13 днів тому +3

      It may vary from person to person but usually there is a collapse, which is displayed through a tantrum or outburst and from recent experience with someone I suspect to be of that ilk, they become combative and aggressive.

  • @rossmoore1155
    @rossmoore1155 13 днів тому

    Professor. Vaknin, May I ask….Why did you choose Pulisic as the thumbnail? Do you believe he is a narcissist? Did you see him do the Trump dance?

  • @BoStaggs-cr5lc
    @BoStaggs-cr5lc 8 днів тому +1

    I am a narcissist how can i change an start over?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  8 днів тому +2

      Watch the therapies playlist.

  • @JETLIFEJASON
    @JETLIFEJASON 14 днів тому +7

    Best intro ever 😂

    • @femalady
      @femalady 14 днів тому

      Is there any chance that a narcissist could change?

  • @Elina_M2k
    @Elina_M2k 14 днів тому +7

    Professor vaknin, could you please do an analysis video on Donald Trump and what is going on in America? His victory was not a surprise but the reality is still deeply disturbing. Will human idiocy and narcissism be the end of us all? 😢

    • @andyanderson6522
      @andyanderson6522 14 днів тому +1

      It’s simple economics….Prices of everything increased under democrats, illegals came here and committed crimes, not too difficult to understand

    • @mygirldarby
      @mygirldarby 13 днів тому +2

      In my opinion, he is a malignant narcissist.

    • @Elina_M2k
      @Elina_M2k 13 днів тому +4

      @ oh, definitely! But I’m more interested in the collective psychological aspects of the attractiveness of such a candidate to so many people and what that says about the general psychology of the American society today..

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  13 днів тому +5

      Search the channel and also the vakninmusings channel. Read the sections about Trump here: www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq19.html#trump

    • @Elina_M2k
      @Elina_M2k 13 днів тому +1

      @@samvaknin Excellent interview. We’re so screwed.