Into The Abyss and Morning Star

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  • Опубліковано 18 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 105

  • @CamReeds
    @CamReeds 3 роки тому +105

    lol my favorite scene from the whole trilogy has to be when Severo told Darro that he had his red eyes implanted lol its so weird creepy and loving

    • @keren4804
      @keren4804 3 роки тому +6

      I LOVE that scene hahahahha

  • @divinesolstice3744
    @divinesolstice3744 3 роки тому +26

    I think Golden Son is my favorite as well. fun sword fights, good space battles, and I still cant help but smile at the baddassery of the phrase "Iron Rain". I do have a soft spot for Sevro. He's grimy, he's a gangster, he's a dedicated ride or die friend.

  • @matheusvmoraes
    @matheusvmoraes 3 роки тому +45

    Was picturing Morning Star's cover as an eclipse but now I realized it's a scythe.

    • @mitchierainbow7353
      @mitchierainbow7353 3 роки тому +1

      I just noticed it right now😅

    • @uptown3636
      @uptown3636 3 роки тому

      Omg, never thought of it, but you’re right: it does look like an eclipse. Pretty sure it’s actually a sickle rather than a scythe. What’s the difference? No idea, but they look a bit different.

  • @theonlyslagathor
    @theonlyslagathor 3 роки тому +38

    I don't need you to love it, I'm just happy you liked it and gave the series another chance

    • @merphynapier42
      @merphynapier42  3 роки тому +11

      I love your sister

    • @keren4804
      @keren4804 3 роки тому +2

      I am sobbing with your sister :(((((( Also the scene where Sevro and Darrow fight and then have a MOMENT has my heart as well :(((( I really want to reread now after this review

    • @britneynicole8903
      @britneynicole8903 2 роки тому

      That is so sweet! 🥹🥹

  • @luscarora703
    @luscarora703 3 роки тому +48

    One of my favorite scenes from morning star is definetely sevro and Ragnar taking Darrow on a wheel chair. Their dynamic is just so great.
    I also think Ragnar in general doesn't get enough love, he is such a cool character imho

    • @katarinalapoo4416
      @katarinalapoo4416 10 місяців тому +1

      I read the book 2 days ago and now I'm bingeing reviews. That is why I am so late :D But, that said, I love Ragnar. When he died, I sobbed, but not just a tear or two; I was bawling my eyes out. I hadn't cried that hard since Dobby, and I hate Pierce for killing him. Sefi can't replace the Ragnar-shaped hole in my heart.

    • @jamesfee1966
      @jamesfee1966 10 місяців тому +1

      @@katarinalapoo4416 plus, I just have this feeling that Sefi is going to be a problem going forward ... just a hunch. I finished this book last night.

    • @katarinalapoo4416
      @katarinalapoo4416 10 місяців тому

      @@jamesfee1966 Do tell how you like the other books. I am not strong enough to just jump into that trilogy, still crying for Ragnar 😭

    • @jamesfee1966
      @jamesfee1966 10 місяців тому

      @@katarinalapoo4416 I haven't started Iron Gold yet. I'm currently reading some Historical non-fiction. I'll probably start it in a few weeks. I really liked the first trilogy, I'm just guessing it's going to get a LOT DARKER and trying to get ready for that.

  • @djhokasha7410
    @djhokasha7410 3 роки тому +15

    This was an unexpected treat. I thank you for this.

  • @fercamacho8812
    @fercamacho8812 3 роки тому +15

    Author: Haha you were fooled
    Merphy: Nah, YOU LIE TO ME
    hahahahah love it

  • @bethannebruninga-socolar
    @bethannebruninga-socolar 3 роки тому +8

    I'm here for the Sevro love! He's a really well-done character. I also get what you're saying about Darrow being hard to feel connected to. His friendships are honestly the most appealing thing about him for me!

  • @a.pereira.s.1494
    @a.pereira.s.1494 3 роки тому +14

    Holly crap, Darrow's torture was terrifying.

    • @rudiboiii
      @rudiboiii 3 місяці тому

      we actually just saw part of the last 9 months of his enclosure. He was physically tortured for 3 months straight before that, which we never got to see. I could only imagine how bad it was

  • @farazkhan0
    @farazkhan0 3 роки тому +16

    Actually when I recently re-read the series there were so many hints throughout the chapters showing that he was not dead. There are several words and sentences he said which hinted that Sevro was alive.

  • @codyhasselbring9818
    @codyhasselbring9818 3 роки тому +2

    Aw yay I'm glad you finished the series! Thanks for giving it a shot!
    My wife (LOTR superfan) is actually reading the series right now, and has been talking to myself (a Red Rising superfan) about what works and doesn't work for her - and we came to the conclusion that it's sort of like a blockbuster action movie. I listened to the audio book and just sort of turned off my brain and got brought along for the ride and LOVED it. But she's been reading the physical copies and has had more opportunities to "sit" with the plot twists and examine them, and she's brought up some plot holes that made me stop and go "huh I never thought of that."
    She still likes it but I think you're totally right that it's just twist after twist after twist, some of which land and some of which don't. So if that's your jam, I'd say pick it up! But if you want breathing room (which I've come to appreciate thanks to the wife's recommendations) maaaaaaybe pass on it. PS the audiobook is masterclass

  • @Supaawesomeification
    @Supaawesomeification 4 місяці тому

    My favorite scene in the series was the fight between Darrow and Sevro after talking with Quicksilver. That needed to happen and I was so happy when it finally did and they were closer than ever after. Beautiful

  • @angg9260
    @angg9260 3 роки тому +8

    I just finished the lies of Locke lamora and Locke is now my favourite character of all time. The book was sooo good! Thank you so much for the recommendation, I love your channel! ♥️

    • @merphynapier42
      @merphynapier42  3 роки тому +4

      Yay this makes me so happy!

    • @britneynicole8903
      @britneynicole8903 2 роки тому

      I am about to start this and thank you for making me much more eager to start it!! ☺️😀

  • @LU-qr3kh
    @LU-qr3kh 3 роки тому +5

    Love your reviews!!! These both seem very interesting :)

  • @tiantuatara
    @tiantuatara 3 роки тому

    Severo is a great character. Thank you for you comment on the dead thing - you explained to me what bugged me about it. I really enjoyed this series.

  • @quirkygeekgirl
    @quirkygeekgirl 3 роки тому +3

    Hoping you will tackle A Natural History of Dragons in the near future, such a great ride.

  • @Yondi1000
    @Yondi1000 3 роки тому +9

    I misread the title and totally thought this was a review of the Made in Abyss manga. I highly recommend it if you haven't seen or read it!

    • @line4169
      @line4169 3 роки тому +3

      I heard there's some problematic elements regarding children in anime/manga.

    • @khavarthompson6200
      @khavarthompson6200 3 роки тому +2

      @@line4169 I wouldn't say problematic, more so it lures you in with its art style. Its quite good just graphic

    • @vinny_s
      @vinny_s 3 роки тому +1

      There is an OST in the anime called "To the Abyss" and my mind did a complete 180 and misread the title too 👨🏽‍🦯
      Also, we should warn her of the graphic content and psychological horror -

  • @keren4804
    @keren4804 3 роки тому +1

    I am so happy you enjoyed the Red Rising trilogy the more you read! The books truly get better the more u get into it! It is truly a rollercoaster like you say, it was a rollercoaster of emotions for me (I do feel more strongly about the series though). I LOOOOVEEE Sevro (he is my favorite but I also really love Darrow sooo much) I LOVED the scenes that u mentioned you loved and I knew what scene u didn't like as soon as u mentioned there is one that u didn't like and I agree with you, I hate the trope and if we are in someone's head and they know certain information we shouldn't be tricked to believe they don't know it just to be mislead if we are IN their head but I didn't mind it as much here because 1. I am biased I love these book. 2. Everything else was so good that one thing didn't manage to ruin it for me and 3. hint at a SPOILER don't read number 3 if u haven't read morning star yet: Pierce can be so brutal with killing off characters that I did believe it for just a second even though I was pretty sure (like 99% sure) there is just no way he would kill that one off but I was still scared and then we were getting hints that the character maybe was not really dead and I was like :eyes:

  • @kristinh6953
    @kristinh6953 3 роки тому +3

    Surprised no Ragnar mention!
    Honestly though you might enjoy the continuation of the series more than the original three based on your preferences. I found Iron Gold to be much slower paced, it definitely takes a turn from the insane roller coaster of the first trilogy. I didn’t continue on because it wasn’t to my taste, but you might enjoy it more!

  • @Josh123benja
    @Josh123benja 3 роки тому +3

    Obviously I would love it if you continued on to the next series, but I'm glad you at least read this one! I will say though if Darrow's POV annoyed you, the next series cuts between a bunch of very different point of view characters. Some of the point of view characters have very different interests and work against each other in cool ways. It got me to yell "OH NO!" out loud in my car while listening to the audiobook during certain character chapters.

  • @birdman9300
    @birdman9300 3 роки тому +1

    I love a good nonfic survival story! I'm excited to read Into the Abyss now! Unbroken and Endurance: Shackleton's Incredible Journey are two great true survival stories.

  • @MostEisley63
    @MostEisley63 3 роки тому +1

    Totally agree with the problem with 1st person misdirection with Darrow/Sevro - Hated this. Overall loved Morning Star.

  • @jag519
    @jag519 3 роки тому +2

    In your discord in the morning star section I complained about your biggest complaint too. I hated that so much

  • @רוןגורליק-ה5ע
    @רוןגורליק-ה5ע 3 роки тому +3

    Now I really want to read Into the Abyss😅

  • @zacharystilwell1100
    @zacharystilwell1100 3 роки тому

    I enjoyed listening to your thoughts on Morning Star! Just finished the audio book (I am a terribly slow reader) and had to scour the Internet to listen in on other people’s thoughts!

  • @reaperofmars5241
    @reaperofmars5241 3 роки тому +1

    I'm one of those crazy people who love the series to bits and pieces but I still really like your review and your critic is really valid. Darrow is actually my favorite character of all time, I just adore that guy so much but I love everything about the series and I get really emotional writing about it :D. My favorite scene in book 3 is also the hanging scene, it's so freaking epic but in the entire series it has to be the duel between darrow and Cassius in book 2.
    Over all, I loved your review and I think that you should really read the second trilogy because it starts where every other series stops, after the revolution is basically over. Also it is a little different to the main trilogy because we get more than just darrow perspective which is really fun. We also get a lot more interesting characters from different colors and really see the consequences of the revolution for every part of society. I'd just love to see another review from you ^^
    Omnis vir lupus

    • @moghal8322
      @moghal8322 3 роки тому +1

      The gala scene is truly amazing. My favorite too

  • @RB-eb9mr
    @RB-eb9mr 3 роки тому +1

    Into the Abyss is now on my TBR list. It will be a while due to me being entrenched in Locke and Jean's story. Man the Gentleman Bastards series is waaay better than I thought!

  • @imsocool6862
    @imsocool6862 4 місяці тому

    absolutely my favourite scene was when Darrow and Cassius rewatched the videos of Roque and drank together their relationship dragged me in and did not let go

  • @belalaloca
    @belalaloca 3 роки тому +1

    YESS! FINALLY SOMEONE WHO HATES THE FAKE SEVRO DEATH! I ranted to like 5 people about it and almost no one agreed with me. Yes plot twists are fine, but this one is too far in my book. Sevro's fake death was blatant lying by the author and it make me angry instead of shocked like a twist should. This could work if it was in third person, but you are correct first person info hiding like this is not cool by Pierce Brown. On the book as a whole, we also agree that is it good but not as good as many people say it is. It's a good series, but not fantastic. Love your shirt btw!

  • @VengeanceFalls
    @VengeanceFalls 3 роки тому

    Hey just wanted to say I love your reviews. Don’t read all them but come her for the lowdown’s. Thanks.

  • @thejustinwestra
    @thejustinwestra 3 роки тому +1

    I already have Dear Edward by Ann Napolitano on my TBR which is a literary fiction novel about a plane crash survivor. Looks like I’m adding another plane crash book to my list!

  • @jeremyfee
    @jeremyfee 3 роки тому +6

    Merph your enthusiasm in this video makes me think maybe, just maybe, you like Morningstar more than you think. :)

    • @BryanCmpbll
      @BryanCmpbll 7 місяців тому +1

      It makes me think she knows that if she says she doesn't like it all the RR fans will come after her.

  • @ErikaFiorucci
    @ErikaFiorucci 3 роки тому +1

    My dog name is Sevro (yes I did it) and like the character he´s not a good guy, but he is lovable (he even has a scar in his left eye)...

  • @stevenhughes5283
    @stevenhughes5283 3 роки тому

    Fair assessment of the Sevro “twist”, but I will say I happen to really enjoy the mistrust to the author throughout these books. In every book there are sort of two levels to our “first person” view of Darrow, one where we are first person to himself emotionally, the real Darrow, and one where we are first person in the charade he uses on everyone else. I think it’s really fun and smart of Pierce Brown to make us just as unsure and suspicious of Darrow as everyone he tricks is.... even if it is really exhausting to read sometimes haha! And at least we did technically have all the pieces to figure it out this time!

  • @blakelillemon7614
    @blakelillemon7614 3 роки тому

    Please read the continuation series! I would love to hear your thoughts on it - iron gold is slowww lots of building. Dark age - is just that - DARK and a roller coaster

  • @kreiger
    @kreiger 3 роки тому +1

    Glad you finished the original Red Rising trilogy! You should def check out the second trilogy as it has multiple POV. Us RR fans are eagerly awaiting the 6th book.

  • @kyuubi1351
    @kyuubi1351 3 роки тому

    I loved this book and 100% agree with you on that final action scene never made sense

  • @jackinthebox1993
    @jackinthebox1993 3 роки тому +1

    Could you make another video on your new favorite audiobook narrators? I LOVE Steven Pacey, but I feel like I'm missing out on an entire world of incredible audiobooks here

  • @litlbucky
    @litlbucky 3 роки тому +5

    I think I got thru book 4 of Red Rising and decided to stop the series, just wasn’t feeling the second saga

    • @CamReeds
      @CamReeds 3 роки тому

      im getting into book 4 and i do not like the pov shifts

    • @luscarora703
      @luscarora703 3 роки тому +2

      I think once you are attached to the other pov characters the second trilogy is better than the third, but that can take a time

    • @christinastremler338
      @christinastremler338 3 роки тому +2

      Book 4 is the worst book because it takes time to get used to pov shifts and new characters, but book 5 is the best in the series imo

    • @luscarora703
      @luscarora703 3 роки тому +1

      @@christinastremler338 I think on retreads book 4 is just as great as the others, but for the first read you are correct

  • @britneynicole8903
    @britneynicole8903 2 роки тому

    Okay. Okay. I just need to try this book!!! I just have to!!

  • @mengfin2203
    @mengfin2203 Рік тому

    I think you might like Iron Gold (4. book in the RR series) a lot more, because it's much slower than the other books and really takes it's time :)

  • @annmoore321
    @annmoore321 3 роки тому +1

    My feelings align pretty well with yours regarding the Red Rising series. I liked it, but there were parts that really didn’t work for me. I was relieved when it was done... and then I found out he didn’t stop. 😒

  • @boilerdawg
    @boilerdawg 3 роки тому

    I don't know how you feel about historical fiction, but I recommend The Grail Quest series by Bernard Cornwell. I read the first three several years ago and really liked them. Never realized that he wrote a fourth book almost a decade later. I just ordered it this morning and am looking forward to seeing how he continued the story!

  • @c9inglul129
    @c9inglul129 2 роки тому

    I actually really enjoyed the lie Pierce told us in the end. After 3 books of RELENTLESS build + twist + brief half chapter reprieve + twist + repeat formula, he delivered something different finally.

  • @simonacannizzo5141
    @simonacannizzo5141 3 роки тому +1

    Hey Merphy have you ever read the official sequel to Peter Pan-‘Peter Pan in Scarlet ‘?

  • @Dalvazar
    @Dalvazar Рік тому +8

    Sevro's "death" felt pretty well done to me actually. When reading, Darrow really never internally says or dwells on Sevro's death. He refers to "Sevro's body" or "Sevro's corpse" on several occasions, but never actually dwells on it like he does for Ragnar, for example. Additionally, during that section, whenever Darrow is thinking about his dead friends, he never lists Sevro among them. All of that indicated to me at least that there was some other plan going on

    • @eduardonegrao8364
      @eduardonegrao8364 Рік тому

      That pist me off a little bit, to me the plot twist was far too obvious 😅

    • @DamonSun-hn7cn
      @DamonSun-hn7cn 8 місяців тому

      Yes and you can clearly see that something is off with Darrow's lack of internal mourn.

  • @agrims101
    @agrims101 3 роки тому

    Re: morning star spoiler
    I finished morning star around the same time as you and I was soo curious to hear your thoughts. I love sevro and loathe the fake out death trope and you were SPOT ON with why this scene didn’t work at all! Ugh. But all in all, I enjoyed the book quite a bit but like you it’s not a née favorite or anything.

  • @stacymccaskill-lilja2944
    @stacymccaskill-lilja2944 3 роки тому

    I do love Sevro.

  • @spursrok20
    @spursrok20 3 роки тому +1

    Was Darrow lying or simply committed to method acting?

  • @LushGardens802
    @LushGardens802 3 роки тому

    There is a new book out on Amazon called Saddlemarm. It has time travel and critters that help out. It might be a big success in the future.

  • @MagillanicaLouM
    @MagillanicaLouM 3 роки тому +2

    Thought you were reviewing Tales of the Abyss at first glance lol. Was like "oh hey, when did she play that? cool"

  • @yasminetv8648
    @yasminetv8648 3 роки тому

    Loved it 😊❤️

  • @LiteratureScienceAlliance
    @LiteratureScienceAlliance 3 роки тому

    I will say that the second batch of books are not nearly as break neck in pacing and twists (which is a bit of a negative for me cause I was kind of expecting that at this point) but if you want more space with the characters it will probably work better for you! plus you get more povs in the follow up series!

  • @Stoneward_Thug
    @Stoneward_Thug 3 роки тому +2

    Thats my biggest complaint of the whole RR series. Like you cannot use first person in that way! The hell is going on some Peerless level method acting???
    Honestly, hot take here, I think I'm going to like the second trilogy more than the first. IG is great but its like RR. But as slow as Iron Gold is Dark Age is ten times quicker and by far the darkest. I'm really looking forward to those two reviews from you!

  • @virpereira9013
    @virpereira9013 3 роки тому +2

    I didn't see the thumbnail and thought that you meant the into the abyss manga lmao I was worried about you

  • @nicolaezenoaga9756
    @nicolaezenoaga9756 3 роки тому

    Thanks.

  • @poeticwun
    @poeticwun 3 роки тому

    Have you read or will you read the octunnumi by chance?

  • @NahlaAnwer
    @NahlaAnwer 3 роки тому

    Spoiler alert!
    I agree about the fake out scene, I was so devastated thinking he died. He was one of my favourite characters, if not my very favourite in the series. But I really was grieving for him, then he turns out to not be dead. I felt cheated.
    I read both of the triology, I didn't like the second one as much, I felt like it wasn't really needed. Morning Star was such a good end to it, I think I would've been happy imagining the rest.

  • @Blate1
    @Blate1 3 роки тому

    No no no, you see, Darro is just a method actor. Boom. Plot hole solved.
    But in all seriousness, when people are trying to lie convincingly (and they are good at it) they usually try to convince themselves of the lie as much as possible too. It makes it more believable.
    And also, since this is a 1st person perspective, we do hear Darro’s thoughts, but we don’t hear all of them. So I think there is room here to say it wasn’t a plot hole. We may have only been hearing his surface level thoughts and not his deeper subconscious worries.
    If I had to tell a lie and my life depended on it, I wouldn’t be breaking character even inside my own head if I could help it (and some people are really good at this).

  • @Viksbelle
    @Viksbelle 3 роки тому

    I fully understand being picky about narrators. I still cringe thinking back (many decades) to being subjected by teachers to students reading aloud. Most of the ones picked had absolutely no decent inflection or even vocalized punctuation. They just droned.

  • @rohanmanro3765
    @rohanmanro3765 3 роки тому

    I would definitely read Into The Abyss. I usually don’t like Non-fiction but maybe I will after this one. Merphy you can make anyone read anything, for example Lies of Locke Lamora😅😅 (P.S.- I will read it soon)
    If you like Into The abyss you should check out ‘Who Killed Hammarskjöld?’ It’s a political book based during Cold War but has a similar premise. I found out about it during an Air Crash Investigation episode.

  • @moghal8322
    @moghal8322 3 роки тому

    I feel like you wouldve absolutely loved this series and not just liked it if you liked darrow but alas what one likes is subjective. At least you enjoyed the final 2 books more than red rising as I really love this series!

  • @avsambart
    @avsambart 3 роки тому

    Me: terrified of airplanes and flying.
    Also me: let me listen to this true story because it's better to know about things you fear.

  • @raquelmarcalsantos
    @raquelmarcalsantos 3 роки тому +1

    Into the abyss sounds really interesting! I love survival stories!
    P.S.: no meme today? hahahaha

  • @angusfraser-brown1663
    @angusfraser-brown1663 3 роки тому +1

    Favourite scenes from Morning Star in no particular order (SPOILERS)
    Victra and Darrow talk, Darrow offers her vengeance and a family (I lied, this is my favourite)
    Romulus Au Raa and Darrow first meeting
    Sevro's breakdown, Darrow comforts him
    Darrow's speeches always send a shiver up my spine
    Anytime Sevro insults someone
    The shattering of the Sword Armada (and how it was done)
    Aja Grimmus's death - it took four people to bring her down and even then they were torn apart
    Any moment between Darrow and The Jackal
    It took a long time for me to appreciate the writing of the Red Rising trilogy but by the end of Morning Star I was blown away.

  • @megravitt33
    @megravitt33 3 роки тому +2

    Merphy: quick spoiler thoughts
    Spoilers are half the video lol
    Spoiler
    How could you not talk about Ragnar and the obsidians?? 😭😭

  • @WhitneyDahlin
    @WhitneyDahlin 3 роки тому

    Why couldn't there be a spoiler free and spoiler section for both books instead of just one? I just don't understand! I want to hear your full and honest opinion and you can't do that if you're only doing spoiler-free reviews. Not to mention everyone is satisfied people who don't want spoilers have their review and people who do want spoilers and do want a little bit more of an in-depth review are satisfied as well.

  • @Lynn-CA
    @Lynn-CA 3 роки тому +5

    I read Red Rising and thought it was fairly entertaining (gave it 3 stars), and didn't continue

  • @RKStumblingbear
    @RKStumblingbear 3 роки тому

    I Dnf'd Red Rising, so it is always interesting for me to hear the thoughts of others who aren't in love with the series, yet finished it. Thanks for sharing.

  • @yaseenal-lawati6579
    @yaseenal-lawati6579 3 роки тому +2

    Does any one wonder how Merphy just fakes laugh in the beginning of every video
    it must be funny to see how she suddenly starts laughing

  • @piderman871
    @piderman871 3 роки тому +1

    13:05 Spoilers!
    I disagree. Darrow *says* Sevro is dead because other people are still there for whom he needs to act (starting with Antonia!). Thereafter, this thoughts are suspiciously empty of it. It's all very matter of fact "Sevro's body was on top of me". "His blood was dripping". But he never mourns him (especially compared to Roque!). Because of course he knows he's not dead. Brown does a good job of having Darrow fool Antonia et. al. by some great method acting, but I think at no point does Brown make Darrow believe that Sevro is dead.

  • @kjwonder6411
    @kjwonder6411 3 роки тому

    i had such an adverse reaction to you saying Sevro is a bad person. i get what you’re saying that he’s done bad things, but being morally absolutist is never going to satisfy anything. MLK was a womanizer so was Ghandi. Those examples aren’t completely comparable but saying someone isn’t good as a complete trait is limiting. no one is good or bad. we are all trying our best for what we believe. the series illustrates that with Cassius’s honor and even Jackal’s own twisted worldview (should i say solar system view).

  • @taylorg11
    @taylorg11 2 роки тому

    So I did love the series as a whole, BUT…
    I had the exact same problem as you with Sevro’s fake death, and you explained my own thoughts on it very well.

  • @coleton7048
    @coleton7048 3 роки тому

    Why do you "hate" things and "not like" things so much?

  • @jaginaiaelectrizs6341
    @jaginaiaelectrizs6341 3 роки тому

    Maybe he thought it was crazy or dumb because the guy was dead and something could go wrong to make it stick? Or he was gloating about it, even if it was only temporarily? Or you just THOUGHT he meant literally dead, but every time he said it to himself, he didn't need to explain to himself what he knew but you didn't that the guy was just "dead"[ to everyone else]? Or something like that? IDK
    Just..Totally Wild guesses, here , because .. I haven't actually read these books, but...Now I kinda want to^^ Lolll

  • @neondemon5137
    @neondemon5137 3 роки тому

    Hey man, sometimes you just have to lie to yourself.