All spot on. My narcissistic husband screamed at me to "shut that kid up, I have to work tomorrow" on many occasions when our children were babies. He freaks out now when I laugh and joke around with our adult children. I am supposed to be serious in his presence. I can not stand him. He is pure evil.
To AnnJohnson: Pardon my language, but WHY THE HELL are you still with him ??? Hello ????? DIVORCE that monster. Go ahead: show your adult children what you are made of !!!!!
I know a lady who went and divorced her husband of 5 adult kids after 50 yrs The preacher told her it was acceptable due to the abuse. Later he died and left her the home she did also work for. Stayed w/ Daughter n worked JCP❤
@annjohnson8437…..When I knew it was about time for my mom to come home, I had to be ready to look gloomy and down…..if I was laughing, smiling, just being happy, she would scream at me and call me an @$$, or say that I was @$inine. She would still comment on why am I ‘always’ unhappy….but that was better than dealing with being called derogatory names and screamed at for being happy!
This is right on. A story my mother told me before she died haunts me to this day. When I was less than one year old, I became very sick. My fever was 105 degrees Fahrenheit. I was screaming of course, and my father couldn't stand my screaming, so he took off. He actually got into the car and drove off. My mom called the doctor and was told to take me up to the hospital immediately. (This was in 1952, I don't know if there were ambulances in our town or not.) How my mom got me to the hospital, which was way over on the other side of town, by herself, is beyond me, but they put me in a tub of very cold water to get my high fever down, and it worked. Me being so sick, though, must have scared my mom a lot. I could have easily died. But my father didn't care, he just didn't want to listen to me screaming. My mom sat up all night with me. I did recover, but for the next 56 years, until the day he died, I was constantly being abused by my father, who was a malignant narcissist. When he got sick with cancer, I took care of him and I did an excellent job, his doctors told me that I was "at the top of my game". The stress of taking care of him for a year almost killed me. I lost 20 pounds just from the stress. He was just as abusive, in even nastier ways, when he was sick with this terminal cancer, than he was before. He died in 2008. I have more peace in my life now, but am still having trouble, because I often think of all the horrible things he did to me, my brother, and my mother. I have learned a lot about narcs and can spot them now, from a mile away. I have HOPE that I will continue to heal, but it is tough. I also beel badly for all of you out there who have also been abused by narcs. Here's hoping we will all heal together. I am 72 years old and don't know how much time I have left to heal. But I have hope. ❤❤❤
Gosto de lembrar de coisas simples que me dão alegria. Caminhar perto da natureza, sentir o cheiro da mata ou do mar. Estar com o pensamento no momento presente. Que Deus permita muitos anos de alegria para você!🙏
@@soeleuterioThank you so much for this. I appreciate it very much. This is the best advice I have had in a long time. Bless you. I will follow your advice. With ❤ from Gwen in Washington state near Seattle. 🤗
I was in labor with my 3rd child, his first. He went outside to smoke. When he came in my adult son's were laughing (jokingly) about getting tattoos of their new baby brother's birthday which was to be 4/20. He came in and insisted they were laughing at him. He was so belligerent that the nurses threatened to make him leave. I was mortified & still had no clue what I had gotten myself into. I am so grateful for your videos. Only recently have I began to strike up a conversation with anyone around, whenever I hear my covert mother let out an exaggerated, "Huugghhhh." I refuse to be sucked in and triggered anymore 😊
1. SIGHING, NARCS NEED FEEDBACK. TRIGGERS. 2, CRYING of your child, zero empathy. 3, LAUGHING trigger. Internalizes and takes inner offence. Jealous of your happiness. Need for in sync mood syncronization. 4, SOUND of their own voice. Sound dysmorphia vulnerability. 5, SILENCE in convo which means uncertainty. Feel exposed. Silence is peaceful. They will keep talking and can't stand silence. FILL THE SILENCE.
My husband has to talk 24/7 and I'm always hyper aware, I can't tune him out (though I absolutely could because it's him talking AT me, not TO me. I spent over 3hrs recently only responding with "yeah.. mmm hmm.. that's crazy.." no real exchange of opinions and ideas..) and it is so exhausting. I just want peace and quiet sometimes. He cannot fathom that concept. There's no such thing as comfortable silence in my home.
Hi from South Africa. Spot on. Strange that they hate the sounds of their own voice but just love to blab blab and blab... I have found the narc in my life hate the noise of a vacuum cleaner. It's wacky I know But there is something in it for sure 🤯
@@leerobs1118 Yeah I think they love the sound of their own voice via their own ears only! that way they can delude all they want ...but if it's been recorded, and they hear it as it is, in all its vulnerability, then it will not match their fantasy, causing some cog dissonance ( taste of their own medicine ).and they can't cope with that at all 🤣
My back neighbor is a malignant vindictive narcissist. I’ll never forget him screaming “SHUT UP !!!” In response to the calls of doves in the trees overhead.
Just SMILE and SMIRK, like you know something while staring at them, creates insecurity, curiosity, they hate it.. they feel powerless, they will ask why your smiling, just play dumb and innocent. Depending on the Narc behaviour, don't over do it, .you can even smile when doing dishes, sitting in the car next to them, walking etc, keep smiling and look like you know something they don't, watch them squirm and go crazy.
YOU are the keeper of your joy and happiness. Dig in, rely on your faith and please locate a strong counselor that specializes in CPSTD. NO CONTACT. Get your feet under you, stand solid and firm. 🙏 💪
Yessss again You literally identify him to the T He would give me a hard time if I was feeling light hearted and giggly, happy etc and tell me I need to be serious and I was basically acting either immature inappropriate or disrespectful!!! He was always trying to snuff my light ! Literally ! One way or another
Thank you brother! Much needed information. I add one that got to my neighbor. He was on the other side of the fence. I call my cat sometimes by knocking loudly on the storm door. He dropped something and made a grunt noise. Sometimes he is listening to us laughing in our backyard. Must remember to do that more often!!!
Yep...my covert narc husband will destroy anything that brings me happiness. Then stares at my face to make sure I look unhappy. So, now I keep happiness to myself and I enjoy it very, very much! Also, whenever he wants supply, to be on stage and have me as his audience, that's when he initiates conversation...mostly about him or when he gossips about other people. So now, I just say that I've already heard that story and change the subject. That's the fastest way to shut him up 😂😂😂
Best response is ignorance and silence. I will not be an emotional pillow to cry on for him any more. It is truly detrimental to my health as I am an Empath. So I chose “no contact” other than kids and work. I have a different day routine to avoid the narc and I am getting happier.
Yes, and covert narc husbands all act as if they hate gossiping. Mine says it's only a female trait blah blah.... But all he does is gossip and complain.. if he isn't doing that, he is telling me about every single interaction he's had throughout the day so I can hear how amazing he sounded in his verbal exchange.. or telling me all the comments he has made on social media.. or talks at me about things he knows I am not interested in whatsoever but he still forces me to listen to him drone on about his overflow of knowledge on them.. it's non stop talking, unless he's playing a game, I get a reprieve. I don't interrupt him on his game but the moment he is done with it, he needs entertainment again and it doesn't matter if I am reading or doing something whether it's housework or cooking, I'm expected to drop what I'm doing and entertain him. I can't take it.
Also the repeated story thing is so spot on! He tells me the same stories over and over .... And NOW I've started noticing small changes each time that make him look cooler, or smarter, or just more amazing... And I made the mistake of saying "you've told me this and you said that XYZ happened not that..." And man the retaliation is legendary. He can pretend everything is fine but then finds ways he can strike at me that he can deny... Like cutting the cord to my crockpot. Bending the wires to my hand mixer so they no longer work.... The list goes on.. then he gets super drunk and admits it but then sobers up and says he never admitted it... So now I just smile and nod at his repeated stories that change constantly.
Hello, could you please make your next video about growing up with a narcissistic parent with school pressure or just something around studying and school pressure in general? One of the tough things to deal with is managing school with living with a narcissistic parent.
There isn't a moment of silence when my Parents and brother are in the same room. They keep talking without a pause ⏸️. They also keep asking questions again and again like a 5 year old does.
Their soul is restless and empty. They constantly talk without taking a sip of water or a deep breath. The questions are interrogative as if they want to know what you're thinking at that moment.
Dear danish pl make a video on how to protect our child of any age from this entire narc family, it will be great relief for many survivors...Thaks from bottom for all support.
Wow, I missed this one. Mine used to comment on my sighing and facial expressions all the time 😂 Good for me, aggravated him without even realizing it😂
Omg again !! This is amazing He hated the sound of his recorded voice !!! But loved to talk and talk in the moment when all had to hear his performance,drama or " great wisdom"
Your topic is very interesting and unique, Thank you. Yes they’re all show and no go with the children. I was getting up every four hours and he just watched tv while I had to feed the child through the night. At night he would chase any sound in the house. He searched the house until he found where the sound came from. Mine did not speak a single word in 20 years of marriage. If I asked him anything he answered NO! I returned his silence and his NO without a single word. I went no contact for for life.
@jas0204 I think she might just be showing off? Some of the worst people I have met were fake Christian who read the Bible. The Devil know the Bible too.
@@jas0204 Imagine there are 2 gates in brain. If one thinks positive ,god injects ideas and if one is negative , devil injects ideas. If your mother prays to god , then god made her mind that praying is good from long time. Tell her to do meditation. And be as much positive as possible .
Getting a disneyland dad/mom is far better than a parent who doesn't want to spend a single moment with you (good or bad), despite having all the time in the world. Also, all narcissists hate good music. They tend to like noisy music, with barely discernible lyrics. They play it out loud so that they can annoy others.
Everyone sighs many times a day. My narc jumped on me right away, what was wrong, what was I mad/sad about and on and on. My saying nothing is wrong, not sad or mad. That would send her into a nut. Claiming I was hiding things from her, I was lying. And yes with the laughter. She couldn't ever see the humor in anything and I was simply over acting for attention. I have always sat with crossed legs. I have always wiggled the foot a bit. That also was a trigger to her that I was upset or mad about something. Nope, just the way I have sat my whole life, I was 73 at the time. So I learned to suppress my sighs. Not to laugh, and to really not jiggle my foot I still check to see who's around me when I sigh or laugh. And I still sit with crossed legs but my feet refuse to wiggle, now that does make me sad, have to let it go.
I'm so sorry sorry for you. I hope that you are in a better place, that your life is filled with laughter, happines and light. As a human and a paediatric doctor, it sickens me when I hear of kids getting abused mentally or physically, especially by people that are supposed to be their guardians. I experienced the crazy behaviours of a narc in my early adulthood and even now that I'm middle aged, I still am trying to heal. I can't fathom how children have to face these monsters at such tender ages. My prayers and best wishes go out to you.
That's sick and evil. My goodness what on earth? She must have been a malignant narcissist. I have one hanging around the perimeter of my life. He's stalking me and loves to cause pain . I decided not to react. There's something broken in them. 😢
It triggers some people. Mostly cuz it reminds when you were at school and got into the trouble. Calling by name signifies trouble. Usually nothing good comes after it.
This is a fantastic topic. Thanks so much for bringing it up. It has answered not only a lot of questions from my childhood why certain things happened when they did (obviously the sounds triggered it. I. Our case it was always laughter or crying which the narcissist couldn't stand) but also something a narcissistic colleague kept doing recently. If the whole office of 50 people was working silently he would start mumbling or singing just loud enough for everyone to hear and he would keep it up all day. And no one of us 48 had the guts to tell him to shut up! Just realised it was because he was uncomfortable because obviously he was not working.
NOW you are scaring me. I sighed on the phone yesterday and my someone flew into an emotional thing. Oh my. Help. I am sighing, just having a bad cold. Meaningless. The caller applied the sigh, to their abilities, or rather lack of success in a certain situation. This is too much for me. Narcissists in every closet? I am not used to this but, I told them that any noise I make is not a comment designed to hurt anyone. 😢I know all of these things too well. I was not allowed to finish my sentences and began to answer posed questions, being told that I am interrupting. I said, ‚You asked.‘ I had thought that the person had paused for me to answer. I hate this stuff. This is a bad surprise to me. Why is this person so insecure, despite their true achievements? Are they never fulfilled?😢
Yes yes yes… always filling the silence was obvious in my former spouse. The sounds of anything that was uplifting and made me happy.. country music, conversations about my fulfilling activities or other friends. He shut down or directed the conversations back to him and what I wasn’t doing. I was so susceptible to this for years 😮 not anymore. 🎉
My maternal Narcissistic grandmother observed me & cousin having fun with each other , my maternal grandmother said you never smile & laugh when you are with us . They obviously suck the energy life force out of it took me 28yrs of age to realize what narcissism is. So many years of my precious i wasted my effort on pleasing such people.
My mother ignored my discharging ear infection for over a year. My pillow was a mess in the mornings was vile rotten soft cheese green pus and at night I slept on the dried excretions. By the time I finally got to see a doctor it needed three modified mastiodetomys ( please excuse my spelling) to fix the mess. I half deaf as you can imagine.
my Narc hated the sound of the kids playing with the orbit tennis (ball on a string on a pole) ... he actually cut the ball off the string ... only a few days after christmas 🙄 ... and then tried to deny it
Hi Danish ❤ that sigh is a sign to initiate round 2 I hope you’re well Danish. Thank you again and again for your support. Love U! ❤😊 ps. Every one of them are spot on. Take care 😊
My narcissistic father gets upset over the sound of me coughing, breathing, etc. If you make a sound, it upsets narcissists. If you go silent, they get uoset. You can't win with these psychos!
I know I’m not supposed to argue with a narcissist, but after holding all the bs ,lies and gaslighting not to mention the future planning in, I had a heart attack,it was then that I came across your video and I realized that I was married to a narcissist! I also realized that my mother was a narcissist and that is why it was so easy to manipulate me! I don’t know what came over me, but all the anger I had kept inside of me,came out! And just then he said something to me and all he’ll broke lose! I stood up and with both hands I pushed him backwards yelling on the top of my lungs,:” who do you think you are? You are not my mother nor my boss! Then a few choice words,he was so stunned and confused,he said nothing! So I pushed him into the corner and with each push asking: What gave you the right….. I brought up everything he has done to me and then I told him if he ever so much as thinks about putting me down etc, that I would destroy him! It worked for awhile and then it didn’t! So I told him that I would file for divorce and he laughed and said: oh and who is gonna support you?! The next day I filed for divorce and a restraining order! Tomorrow he will get served! All I can say, I never felt so good then when I pushed him and said everything he did to me! Pray for me please cause if the judge didn’t grant my request, then I’ll be in trouble!
Hi Brother Danish! Love your vlogs! Thank you so much for sharing and explaining! Love the way you explain! Yes it so true and experience that! Thanks for your helpful tips! My life is so good because your videos helps me a lot! Thanks again! Take care!❤
Nope. They don't like babies crying. I just had surgery and I had fifteen staples in my stomach and I wasn't even supposed to be lifting her. I asked him to go get her so I could feed her. Nope. After we were divorced, he said that I never taught him how to be a father.
All of the above describes my ex. Especially the sunglasses.. dark mirrored sunglasses. He wears them all the time, daytime, nighttime almost 24/7, he used them to check out other women in public without me noticing. I could still see his eyes. He eventually admitted this but he told me he needed to look at women younger and more attractive.. probably the most truthful thing in his eyes that he said while with me. Gross. All of those resonate, though. Thank you, Danish, for your help once again. Much ❤
OMG THANKYOU ONCE AGAIN DANISH !!!!! I never understood why he hated the sound of a child crying, it didn't matter where we were he would immediately get angry and wanted to leave or get the mother to make the baby or child "shutup" He said he hated kids and doesn't want to have any, fat chance with me, those days were over anyway😂 big age gap!! Yeah I know- mother wound here we go🙄.....yep big time - ....crazy dynamics really nuts!! I realised it was something to do with attention etc ...and also the Disney stuff, right into every possible Netflix fantasy movies, Marvel, Harry Potter, anything magical . He is a child in an adult's body, which is not to say there's anything wrong with water parks and fantasy movies. Plus water parks were good for gay sex - or any water activity eg the beach public toilets were amongst his favourites, clubs, pubs, men sex saunas near his workplace, and whenever he can he will find and can go have sex with men in the public toilets practically everywhere in Perth or Melbourne depends on where he's visiting/ living...leeching his supply . he is always in search of a toilet ( which is preplanned via an ap on his phone ) .. ..and the whole time we were together he thought I never knew 😂 and he thought I hadn't taken any proof pictures etc evidence that the whole marriage was a shamm 🤣.....soon karma will find him, and she's not going to be lenient !!!!! She's pissed!!!
Oh Danish, your voice sounds soothing and wonderful! But I do understand the whole thing with not liking the sound of our own voice. The first time I heard a recording of my voice, I was stunned…..I thought, oh my gosh! My voice is deeper sounding and just sounds so foreign to me! We sound different to ourselves in our own head.
Yes your right , they like to hear themselfs but whatever you say or do it’s never as important than what they are talking about And yes in the past I’ve been happy but suddenly the narcissist will create a argument about stupid stuff and then carry on till they have ruined your day
I remember my little baby brother crying in his room. Me being 19 years old and in the other room next to his. He cried, cried, cried. My mother was in the living room. I then couldn't stand it anymore, went into his room and put him in my arms, wanting to calm him down. THEN she would come to us, and take him into her arms... I didn't understand that...
I suppressed my own breath all my life until I finally learned the TRUTH. I used to literally tip toe around SILENT. My psychopath parents did a number on my life. At least I survived. My beautiful brother wasn't so lucky. 😪💔❤️🔥🙏
Oh yeh, sociopathic dad hated laughing...it triggered painful memories of being bullied but & just as importantly ...he....wasnt in on the joke...so feeling shut out, but...he also shut us out because..blahhhh.
When I cried I heard the phrase:if You don't stop I'll give You a reason to cry.After our father beated us my mum said You were bad that's why Your father beated You.Not beeing beaten Was the badest thing (just wrong enough) but the words told after are verry painful.
If you stretch and take a deep breath on the other side of a room, you are "flexing" on them. They can threaten to unalive you then the enablers come and comfort them for being "flexed" on by you. Any and all evil is now justified against you but you must also deny any of it is happening while flagellating yourself and worshiping at their feet or else you are "oppressing" them.
my uncle and aunt visited me when I was only 4 years into marriage. They are worse than me in seeing good in others and playing up others. He was doing something in the house and was looking at them studying to see whether they saw him as an Idiot who will do their chores. That is how much he was abused by someone whom he respected and cared about. The sadness he feels around accomplished people is terrible
My brother and ex are both narcissists and Both have very strange, disruptive, fake laughs. Usually to highlight an offensive or violent moment like they're shouting at everyone to agree that it is funny.
Oh, the laughing, I had to stop, unless it is a comedy TV show. She always assumes I am laughing at her. Also any bell like sound, lately it is almost a violent response. Does this mean anything?
She definitely does not like silence, and she raises the t.v. so loud, it gives me headache. She wants all the attention from every one all the time. And there are far more small noises that ignite anger and complaints...
Yeah I suspected I have or had CPTSD, it just another tiny stone into vegetable patch. And I did experienced "... I will give you really good reason to cry" And silence - it just huge red sheat for a bull, to have them blabbering and chirping endlessly - no matter even how idiotic or against logic and matter of fact false it will be....
Yes, narc father hit me in the mouth as a kid for laughing and broke a front tooth with his big ring. All the points Danish makes are right on. They like to steal your joy.
I had a taste in music as a child, specially Dhol music (Indian). The first time I bought a cassette and put it on in the car, my demon father started complaining about the lyrics and said that this type of music is cheap and disgusting. He avtively tried to stop my interest in music, books and sports all my life.
Malignant narcissist for sure!!! I had one for a mother who actively squashed any attempt by me to have a good life. Been abused in one way or another my whole life 😢. It gets to the point where I snapped at her. Because of the trauma. I hope you're in a better place now. They are heartless but so good at putting up a front in front of everyone else. It's frustrating.
@Spiralclarity Yes, he is malignant. And used to get super violent too. And always angry about me and my little brother just being normal kids. Hope you are in a better place as well. Wish you peace.
Stay on topic and firm with boundaries when attempting conflict resolution...sadly this condition they gaslight themselves more than you. If you are for whatever reason choosing to interact with them do this for TEMPORARY resolution it's not "over" until they "win"....tbh this seems like lessons learned in childhood often times the hard way did not effin compute with them.
I don’t know how common this is, my husband has the TV and Tik tok on his phone at the same time constantly at full volume then gets mad when he can’t hear what I just said.
Intereting on silence because this blows apart the psychoanalytical theory that silences would somehow allow the patient to overcome resistances or reveal hidden content, but the narcissist seems to have no content to reveal and would immediately see thet as a challenge to their own authority. There is a saying in Africa, the King has power (to reproduce, spread a clan) but his general has authority only, is basically a high level slave. Are narcissists impotent?
When the narc x husband was not in a good mood, I would hear him sighing all over the house. After a while I stopped addressing it. He didn't like that 😮😊
Narcissistic personality disorder people hate these sounds; * Your Joyful laughter * Your Words of truth in a rebuttal * The sounds of your footsteps 👣 walking 🚶♀️ out of their insane world 🌎 of abuse... Run, run, run 🏃♂️ And Never Go Back. 🕊🌿🌴🌲🍀🫛🌵🥬🐛🥦🌳🌲🍃
Download Free Guide That Answers Top 10 Questions Asked By Every Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/
All spot on. My narcissistic husband screamed at me to "shut that kid up, I have to work tomorrow" on many occasions when our children were babies. He freaks out now when I laugh and joke around with our adult children. I am supposed to be serious in his presence. I can not stand him. He is pure evil.
To AnnJohnson: Pardon my language, but WHY THE HELL are you still with him ??? Hello ?????
DIVORCE that monster. Go ahead: show your adult children what you are made of !!!!!
I know a lady who went and divorced her husband of 5 adult kids after 50 yrs
The preacher told her it was acceptable due to the abuse. Later he died and left her the home she did also work for. Stayed w/ Daughter n worked JCP❤
OMG! My ex did the same thing….. Told me to SHUT that baby up “ I’m tired “ instead of helping me . They have NO heart whatsoever
@annjohnson8437…..When I knew it was about time for my mom to come home, I had to be ready to look gloomy and down…..if I was laughing, smiling, just being happy, she would scream at me and call me an @$$, or say that I was @$inine. She would still comment on why am I ‘always’ unhappy….but that was better than dealing with being called derogatory names and screamed at for being happy!
@@galaxy98765 way out of line. Your behavior is unacceptable.
This is right on. A story my mother told me before she died haunts me to this day.
When I was less than one year old, I became very sick. My fever was 105 degrees Fahrenheit. I was screaming of course, and my father couldn't stand my screaming, so he took off. He actually got into the car and drove off.
My mom called the doctor and was told to take me up to the hospital immediately. (This was in 1952, I don't know if there were ambulances in our town or not.)
How my mom got me to the hospital, which was way over on the other side of town, by herself, is beyond me, but they put me in a tub of very cold water to get my high fever down, and it worked.
Me being so sick, though, must have scared my mom a lot. I could have easily died. But my father didn't care, he just didn't want to listen to me screaming.
My mom sat up all night with me.
I did recover, but for the next 56 years, until the day he died, I was constantly being abused by my father, who was a malignant narcissist.
When he got sick with cancer, I took care of him and I did an excellent job, his doctors told me that I was "at the top of my game". The stress of taking care of him for a year almost killed me. I lost 20 pounds just from the stress.
He was just as abusive, in even nastier ways, when he was sick with this terminal cancer, than he was before.
He died in 2008.
I have more peace in my life now, but am still having trouble, because I often think of all the horrible things he did to me, my brother, and my mother.
I have learned a lot about narcs and can spot them now, from a mile away.
I have HOPE that I will continue to heal, but it is tough.
I also beel badly for all of you out there who have also been abused by narcs.
Here's hoping we will all heal together.
I am 72 years old and don't know how much time I have left to heal.
But I have hope.
❤❤❤
Ask Jesus to help you. Utube about how Jesus dealt with Narcissists.
Read the Final revelation, the Qur'an...what have you got to lose. I know it will help you, God willing 😊
Hang in there. I feel your pain.
Gosto de lembrar de coisas simples que me dão alegria. Caminhar perto da natureza, sentir o cheiro da mata ou do mar. Estar com o pensamento no momento presente. Que Deus permita muitos anos de alegria para você!🙏
@@soeleuterioThank you so much for this. I appreciate it very much. This is the best advice I have had in a long time.
Bless you. I will follow your advice.
With ❤ from Gwen in Washington state near Seattle.
🤗
You are so right, we were not allowed to laugh in the house, it would make him very angry, and we had to stop.
Nope. My step-dad would tell us to shut up. But eight kids laughing? He'd scream at us at the top of his lungs.
Also , they always have “ RESENTMENT “ towards anything
Triggered big time on special occasions and holidays. Everyone happy 😊 and just have to 🌧️ rain ☔ on the parade.
I was in labor with my 3rd child, his first. He went outside to smoke. When he came in my adult son's were laughing (jokingly) about getting tattoos of their new baby brother's birthday which was to be 4/20. He came in and insisted they were laughing at him. He was so belligerent that the nurses threatened to make him leave. I was mortified & still had no clue what I had gotten myself into. I am so grateful for your videos. Only recently have I began to strike up a conversation with anyone around, whenever I hear my covert mother let out an exaggerated, "Huugghhhh." I refuse to be sucked in and triggered anymore 😊
MAN!!!!! You know your stuff! May YAH bless you and keep educating us
1. SIGHING, NARCS NEED FEEDBACK. TRIGGERS. 2, CRYING of your child, zero empathy. 3, LAUGHING trigger. Internalizes and takes inner offence. Jealous of your happiness. Need for in sync mood syncronization. 4, SOUND of their own voice. Sound dysmorphia vulnerability. 5, SILENCE in convo which means uncertainty. Feel exposed. Silence is peaceful. They will keep talking and can't stand silence. FILL THE SILENCE.
A narcissist calling card is stonewalling, yet he is fragile when you ignore him. #diabolical
yes jealous of your happiness.
one should eirher be serious or sick
Laughing out loud. He is vile. Do not show ANY emotion. 😢
My husband has to talk 24/7 and I'm always hyper aware, I can't tune him out (though I absolutely could because it's him talking AT me, not TO me. I spent over 3hrs recently only responding with "yeah.. mmm hmm.. that's crazy.." no real exchange of opinions and ideas..) and it is so exhausting. I just want peace and quiet sometimes. He cannot fathom that concept. There's no such thing as comfortable silence in my home.
This is absolutely true. So true.
Hi from South Africa.
Spot on.
Strange that they hate the sounds of their own voice but just love to blab blab and blab...
I have found the narc in my life hate the noise of a vacuum cleaner. It's wacky I know But there is something in it for sure 🤯
Is it your cat?
@@leerobs1118
Yeah I think they love the sound of their own voice via their own ears only! that way they can delude all they want ...but if it's been recorded, and they hear it as it is, in all its vulnerability, then it will not match their fantasy, causing some cog dissonance ( taste of their own medicine ).and they can't cope with that at all 🤣
My back neighbor is a malignant vindictive narcissist. I’ll never forget him screaming “SHUT UP !!!” In response to the calls of doves in the trees overhead.
wow.
Really!? Whoa… that’s extreme !
That perfectly shows just how moronic those creatures are.
Spot on! Especially "the sigh." Thank you for affirming that I did not imagine it. Please keep your insightful messages coming, Danish.
My Narc does a cross between a sigh and a grunt 🙄 ... so I just say "why'd you make that noise?" 😂
@@msme7674
Yep I remember the sigh too 😂
Just SMILE and SMIRK, like you know something while staring at them, creates insecurity, curiosity, they hate it.. they feel powerless, they will ask why your smiling, just play dumb and innocent. Depending on the Narc behaviour, don't over do it, .you can even smile when doing dishes, sitting in the car next to them, walking etc, keep smiling and look like you know something they don't, watch them squirm and go crazy.
I really like this one! Kinda wish I thought of it myself! ❤️
@theresabonds7177
We are here to help each other out, empower one another, and reverse the demonic psychological tactics back on them. NO MERCY.
Very good Danish 110 per cent, they despise calm,tranquilo,silence❤
Yes. Yes. And YES, experienced all of these things for over 3 decades. Trying to find my own happiness in recovery & Healing.
YOU are the keeper of your joy and happiness. Dig in, rely on your faith and please locate a strong counselor that specializes in CPSTD.
NO CONTACT.
Get your feet under you, stand solid and firm. 🙏 💪
Not only baby crying When the cats sound Loud too. When the mosquitos bite his skin .. So crazy!!
So fragile and whiney. Leave that person just gross.
Yessss again
You literally identify him to the T
He would give me a hard time if I was feeling light hearted and giggly, happy etc and tell me I need to be serious and I was basically acting either immature inappropriate or disrespectful!!!
He was always trying to snuff my light ! Literally ! One way or another
When I sigh cause I’m a tired mom, my narc says “what’s wrong now? Why are you so negative”
Amazing how they don't even want us to breathe on our own 😂😅🙄😒
Or so tired? It is not work apparently like your not allowed to be tired
Thank you brother! Much needed information.
I add one that got to my neighbor. He was on the other side of the fence. I call my cat sometimes by knocking loudly on the storm door. He dropped something and made a grunt noise.
Sometimes he is listening to us laughing in our backyard. Must remember to do that more often!!!
Hello Danish! You’re such a Genuine Pure heart ❤️ and I appreciate you for all your help and knowledge regarding narcissism. Your so appreciated.🙏
You are a genius, Sir.
Yep...my covert narc husband will destroy anything that brings me happiness. Then stares at my face to make sure I look unhappy. So, now I keep happiness to myself and I enjoy it very, very much! Also, whenever he wants supply, to be on stage and have me as his audience, that's when he initiates conversation...mostly about him or when he gossips about other people. So now, I just say that I've already heard that story and change the subject. That's the fastest way to shut him up 😂😂😂
Best response is ignorance and silence. I will not be an emotional pillow to cry on for him any more. It is truly detrimental to my health as I am an Empath. So I chose “no contact” other than kids and work. I have a different day routine to avoid the narc and I am getting happier.
Yes, and covert narc husbands all act as if they hate gossiping. Mine says it's only a female trait blah blah.... But all he does is gossip and complain.. if he isn't doing that, he is telling me about every single interaction he's had throughout the day so I can hear how amazing he sounded in his verbal exchange.. or telling me all the comments he has made on social media.. or talks at me about things he knows I am not interested in whatsoever but he still forces me to listen to him drone on about his overflow of knowledge on them.. it's non stop talking, unless he's playing a game, I get a reprieve. I don't interrupt him on his game but the moment he is done with it, he needs entertainment again and it doesn't matter if I am reading or doing something whether it's housework or cooking, I'm expected to drop what I'm doing and entertain him. I can't take it.
Also the repeated story thing is so spot on! He tells me the same stories over and over .... And NOW I've started noticing small changes each time that make him look cooler, or smarter, or just more amazing... And I made the mistake of saying "you've told me this and you said that XYZ happened not that..." And man the retaliation is legendary. He can pretend everything is fine but then finds ways he can strike at me that he can deny... Like cutting the cord to my crockpot. Bending the wires to my hand mixer so they no longer work.... The list goes on.. then he gets super drunk and admits it but then sobers up and says he never admitted it... So now I just smile and nod at his repeated stories that change constantly.
@SamanthaJoYo I hope you get away from him as soon as possible, safely, gain peace & stability & never look back.
Why stay married??
Brilliant.. Spot on
Hello, could you please make your next video about growing up with a narcissistic parent with school pressure or just something around studying and school pressure in general? One of the tough things to deal with is managing school with living with a narcissistic parent.
There isn't a moment of silence when my Parents and brother are in the same room.
They keep talking without a pause ⏸️.
They also keep asking questions again and again like a 5 year old does.
Their soul is restless and empty. They constantly talk without taking a sip of water or a deep breath. The questions are interrogative as if they want to know what you're thinking at that moment.
Dear danish pl make a video on how to protect our child of any age from this entire narc family, it will be great relief for many survivors...Thaks from bottom for all support.
Yes, please! ❤
Yes, I have noticed it as well. Thank you Danish.
One of the narcs I have in my life cannot stand the sound of the microwave beeping or any timer going off.
Wow, I missed this one. Mine used to comment on my sighing and facial expressions all the time 😂 Good for me, aggravated him without even realizing it😂
Silence does wonders, too! 😊
Omg again !! This is amazing
He hated the sound of his recorded voice !!! But loved to talk and talk in the moment when all had to hear his performance,drama or " great wisdom"
Your topic is very interesting and unique, Thank you. Yes they’re all show and no go with the children. I was getting up every four hours and he just watched tv while I had to feed the child through the night. At night he would chase any sound in the house. He searched the house until he found where the sound came from. Mine did not speak a single word in 20 years of marriage. If I asked him anything he answered NO! I returned his silence and his NO without a single word. I went no contact for for life.
Very informative respected Sir!
You forget , Sound/music of God prayers . It upset them the most.
Because they are possessed. They hate it.
But my narc mother always prays to God. In other times she dominates and spreads toxicity . How's that possible
@jas0204 I think she might just be showing off? Some of the worst people I have met were fake Christian who read the Bible. The Devil know the Bible too.
@@jas0204 Imagine there are 2 gates in brain. If one thinks positive ,god injects ideas and if one is negative , devil injects ideas.
If your mother prays to god , then god made her mind that praying is good from long time.
Tell her to do meditation. And be as much positive as possible .
Getting a disneyland dad/mom is far better than a parent who doesn't want to spend a single moment with you (good or bad), despite having all the time in the world.
Also, all narcissists hate good music. They tend to like noisy music, with barely discernible lyrics. They play it out loud so that they can annoy others.
Everything is accurate when I refer to my narcissist mother. Incredible
Everyone sighs many times a day. My narc jumped on me right away, what was wrong, what was I mad/sad about and on and on. My saying nothing is wrong, not sad or mad. That would send her into a nut. Claiming I was hiding things from her, I was lying. And yes with the laughter. She couldn't ever see the humor in anything and I was simply over acting for attention. I have always sat with crossed legs. I have always wiggled the foot a bit. That also was a trigger to her that I was upset or mad about something. Nope, just the way I have sat my whole life, I was 73 at the time. So I learned to suppress my sighs. Not to laugh, and to really not jiggle my foot I still check to see who's around me when I sigh or laugh. And I still sit with crossed legs but my feet refuse to wiggle, now that does make me sad, have to let it go.
3:49 This is so true and challenging..
Thank You Danish. And You Look Great👍🙂🤝💪
Between 10yo and 17yo my step mother would cause me to cry in the morning. She told me once that it made her feel better. Sick
I'm so sorry sorry for you. I hope that you are in a better place, that your life is filled with laughter, happines and light.
As a human and a paediatric doctor, it sickens me when I hear of kids getting abused mentally or physically, especially by people that are supposed to be their guardians.
I experienced the crazy behaviours of a narc in my early adulthood and even now that I'm middle aged, I still am trying to heal. I can't fathom how children have to face these monsters at such tender ages.
My prayers and best wishes go out to you.
@@alyahamzah1952 Thank you. It sickens me as well. I am finally in a better place.
That's sick and evil. My goodness what on earth? She must have been a malignant narcissist. I have one hanging around the perimeter of my life. He's stalking me and loves to cause pain . I decided not to react. There's something broken in them. 😢
@@Spiralclarity I agree.
My narcissist didn't like it when I called him by his name. He would get angry. Anyone else notice this?
YES! He says he hates his name. It makes no sense.
Yes mine narc husband too ..I am not supposed to take his name as a mark of respect 😂but once I told his name n he was asking me if I am mad🤣😂🤣😂
It triggers some people. Mostly cuz it reminds when you were at school and got into the trouble. Calling by name signifies trouble. Usually nothing good comes after it.
This is a fantastic topic. Thanks so much for bringing it up. It has answered not only a lot of questions from my childhood why certain things happened when they did (obviously the sounds triggered it. I. Our case it was always laughter or crying which the narcissist couldn't stand) but also something a narcissistic colleague kept doing recently.
If the whole office of 50 people was working silently he would start mumbling or singing just loud enough for everyone to hear and he would keep it up all day. And no one of us 48 had the guts to tell him to shut up! Just realised it was because he was uncomfortable because obviously he was not working.
NOW you are scaring me. I sighed on the phone yesterday and my someone flew into an emotional thing. Oh my. Help. I am sighing, just having a bad cold. Meaningless. The caller applied the sigh, to their abilities, or rather lack of success in a certain situation. This is too much for me. Narcissists in every closet? I am not used to this but, I told them that any noise I make is not a comment designed to hurt anyone. 😢I know all of these things too well. I was not allowed to finish my sentences and began to answer posed questions, being told that I am interrupting. I said, ‚You asked.‘ I had thought that the person had paused for me to answer. I hate this stuff. This is a bad surprise to me. Why is this person so insecure, despite their true achievements? Are they never fulfilled?😢
Yes yes yes… always filling the silence was obvious in my former spouse. The sounds of anything that was uplifting and made me happy.. country music, conversations about my fulfilling activities or other friends. He shut down or directed the conversations back to him and what I wasn’t doing. I was so susceptible to this for years 😮 not anymore. 🎉
My maternal Narcissistic grandmother observed me & cousin having fun with each other , my maternal grandmother said you never smile & laugh when you are with us . They obviously suck the energy life force out of it took me 28yrs of age to realize what narcissism is. So many years of my precious i wasted my effort on pleasing such people.
My mother ignored my discharging ear infection for over a year. My pillow was a mess in the mornings was vile rotten soft cheese green pus and at night I slept on the dried excretions. By the time I finally got to see a doctor it needed three modified mastiodetomys ( please excuse my spelling) to fix the mess. I half deaf as you can imagine.
So sorry for everything you've gone through. That's just awful. Shame on her. ❤
my Narc hated the sound of the kids playing with the orbit tennis (ball on a string on a pole) ... he actually cut the ball off the string ... only a few days after christmas 🙄 ... and then tried to deny it
Yawning and the blinker noise on the car weren’t allowed for me. Major triggers.
Sadness looming over everybody. They are almost god like. Making others feel what they feel
Number 2.!!! Oh jeez!!! They cant stand it cause it reminds them of pain they run away from!
Excellent❤
Hi Danish ❤
that sigh is a sign to initiate round 2
I hope you’re well Danish. Thank you again and again for your support. Love U! ❤😊
ps. Every one of them are spot on.
Take care 😊
God bless you thankyou for sharing this ❤ it really helps healing and moving forward after dealing with narcissist
Spot on 💯
I felt very enlightened by your commentary about mood synchronicity. Thank you for another great video
My narcissistic father gets upset over the sound of me coughing, breathing, etc. If you make a sound, it upsets narcissists. If you go silent, they get uoset. You can't win with these psychos!
I know I’m not supposed to argue with a narcissist, but after holding all the bs ,lies and gaslighting not to mention the future planning in, I had a heart attack,it was then that I came across your video and I realized that I was married to a narcissist! I also realized that my mother was a narcissist and that is why it was so easy to manipulate me! I don’t know what came over me, but all the anger I had kept inside of me,came out! And just then he said something to me and all he’ll broke lose! I stood up and with both hands I pushed him backwards yelling on the top of my lungs,:” who do you think you are? You are not my mother nor my boss! Then a few choice words,he was so stunned and confused,he said nothing! So I pushed him into the corner and with each push asking: What gave you the right….. I brought up everything he has done to me and then I told him if he ever so much as thinks about putting me down etc, that I would destroy him! It worked for awhile and then it didn’t! So I told him that I would file for divorce and he laughed and said: oh and who is gonna support you?! The next day I filed for divorce and a restraining order! Tomorrow he will get served! All I can say, I never felt so good then when I pushed him and said everything he did to me! Pray for me please cause if the judge didn’t grant my request, then I’ll be in trouble!
Hi Brother Danish! Love your vlogs! Thank you so much for sharing and explaining! Love the way you explain! Yes it so true and experience that! Thanks for your helpful tips! My life is so good because your videos helps me a lot! Thanks again! Take care!❤
brilliant!! thank you for the insights
100% 🎉so true
Christine Albright
Brilliant video 🙏...
Thank you 🙏...
Extremely dangerous around children,
My mum hated me laughing. She wasnt a narcissist, she was depressed.
@@thelaziestbee 🫂 that has to be so difficult for you. I hope you’re in a better place place now.
@eeyoresgirl55 its ok, as a grown up iundertand that people have faults. We have good relationships now, what is amazing.
So true
Nope. They don't like babies crying. I just had surgery and I had fifteen staples in my stomach and I wasn't even supposed to be lifting her. I asked him to go get her so I could feed her. Nope.
After we were divorced, he said that I never taught him how to be a father.
All of the above describes my ex. Especially the sunglasses.. dark mirrored sunglasses. He wears them all the time, daytime, nighttime almost 24/7, he used them to check out other women in public without me noticing. I could still see his eyes. He eventually admitted this but he told me he needed to look at women younger and more attractive.. probably the most truthful thing in his eyes that he said while with me. Gross. All of those resonate, though. Thank you, Danish, for your help once again. Much ❤
Thank you.
OMG THANKYOU ONCE AGAIN DANISH !!!!!
I never understood why he hated the sound of a child crying, it didn't matter where we were he would immediately get angry and wanted to leave or get the mother to make the baby or child "shutup"
He said he hated kids and doesn't want to have any, fat chance with me, those days were over anyway😂 big age gap!! Yeah I know- mother wound here we go🙄.....yep big time - ....crazy dynamics really nuts!!
I realised it was something to do with attention etc ...and also the Disney stuff, right into every possible Netflix fantasy movies, Marvel, Harry Potter, anything magical . He is a child in an adult's body, which is not to say there's anything wrong with water parks and fantasy movies.
Plus water parks were good for gay sex - or any water activity eg the beach public toilets were amongst his favourites, clubs, pubs, men sex saunas near his workplace, and whenever he can he will find and can go have sex with men in the public toilets practically everywhere in Perth or Melbourne depends on where he's visiting/ living...leeching his supply . he is always in search of a toilet ( which is preplanned via an ap on his phone ) .. ..and the whole time we were together he thought I never knew 😂 and he thought I hadn't taken any proof pictures etc evidence that the whole marriage was a shamm 🤣.....soon karma will find him, and she's not going to be lenient !!!!!
She's pissed!!!
Oh Danish, your voice sounds soothing and wonderful! But I do understand the whole thing with not liking the sound of our own voice. The first time I heard a recording of my voice, I was stunned…..I thought, oh my gosh! My voice is deeper sounding and just sounds so foreign to me! We sound different to ourselves in our own head.
And "don't roll your eyes"
Now I'm triggered
...YES....YES...YES
..Thank you ....spot on!
Wow. My husband displays all these......and I always thought and was told by him somethings wrong with me..
Yes your right , they like to hear themselfs but whatever you say or do it’s never as important than what they are talking about
And yes in the past I’ve been happy but suddenly the narcissist will create a argument about stupid stuff and then carry on till they have ruined your day
Thanks!
There are cases where partners have hurt babies severely . Even some mothers.
I remember my little baby brother crying in his room. Me being 19 years old and in the other room next to his. He cried, cried, cried. My mother was in the living room. I then couldn't stand it anymore, went into his room and put him in my arms, wanting to calm him down. THEN she would come to us, and take him into her arms... I didn't understand that...
I suppressed my own breath all my life until I finally learned the TRUTH. I used to literally tip toe around SILENT. My psychopath parents did a number on my life. At least I survived. My beautiful brother wasn't so lucky. 😪💔❤️🔥🙏
Oh yeh, sociopathic dad hated laughing...it triggered painful memories of being bullied but & just as importantly ...he....wasnt in on the joke...so feeling shut out, but...he also shut us out because..blahhhh.
When I cried I heard the phrase:if You don't stop I'll give You a reason to cry.After our father beated us my mum said You were bad that's why Your father beated You.Not beeing beaten Was the badest thing (just wrong enough) but the words told after are verry painful.
If you stretch and take a deep breath on the other side of a room, you are "flexing" on them. They can threaten to unalive you then the enablers come and comfort them for being "flexed" on by you. Any and all evil is now justified against you but you must also deny any of it is happening while flagellating yourself and worshiping at their feet or else you are "oppressing" them.
my uncle and aunt visited me when I was only 4 years into marriage. They are worse than me in seeing good in others and playing up others. He was doing something in the house and was looking at them studying to see whether they saw him as an Idiot who will do their chores. That is how much he was abused by someone whom he respected and cared about. The sadness he feels around accomplished people is terrible
My brother and ex are both narcissists and Both have very strange, disruptive, fake laughs. Usually to highlight an offensive or violent moment like they're shouting at everyone to agree that it is funny.
Oh, the laughing, I had to stop, unless it is a comedy TV show. She always assumes I am laughing at her. Also any bell like sound, lately it is almost a violent response. Does this mean anything?
My ex always wore sunglasses. He could look at supply that way too.
She definitely does not like silence, and she raises the t.v. so loud, it gives me headache.
She wants all the attention from every one all the time. And there are far more small noises that ignite anger and complaints...
I guess they get frazzled when woman cries in pain
yes my ex would scream about my "fake crying" if he hurt me and "fake anger." My desire for children was "bullcrap."
They are heartless.😢
Yeah
I suspected I have or had CPTSD, it just another tiny stone into vegetable patch.
And I did experienced "... I will give you really good reason to cry"
And silence - it just huge red sheat for a bull, to have them blabbering and chirping endlessly - no matter even how idiotic or against logic and matter of fact false it will be....
All of it in my narc family. Except Baby Crying.
i have the same thing about the laughing i guess because i was bullied in school
I love the sound of crying baby. Because it is not mine.
Yes, narc father hit me in the mouth as a kid for laughing and broke a front tooth with his big ring. All the points Danish makes are right on. They like to steal your joy.
I had a taste in music as a child, specially Dhol music (Indian). The first time I bought a cassette and put it on in the car, my demon father started complaining about the lyrics and said that this type of music is cheap and disgusting. He avtively tried to stop my interest in music, books and sports all my life.
Malignant narcissist for sure!!! I had one for a mother who actively squashed any attempt by me to have a good life. Been abused in one way or another my whole life 😢. It gets to the point where I snapped at her. Because of the trauma. I hope you're in a better place now. They are heartless but so good at putting up a front in front of everyone else. It's frustrating.
@Spiralclarity Yes, he is malignant. And used to get super violent too. And always angry about me and my little brother just being normal kids. Hope you are in a better place as well. Wish you peace.
Stay on topic and firm with boundaries when attempting conflict resolution...sadly this condition they gaslight themselves more than you. If you are for whatever reason choosing to interact with them do this for TEMPORARY resolution it's not "over" until they "win"....tbh this seems like lessons learned in childhood often times the hard way did not effin compute with them.
I don’t know how common this is, my husband has the TV and Tik tok on his phone at the same time constantly at full volume then gets mad when he can’t hear what I just said.
So when I laugh at tv jokes, he gets agitated n starts stomping or banging walls
Wow
Geez what a psychopath. I hope u can get away! The stress must be terrible.:-(
Intereting on silence because this blows apart the psychoanalytical theory that silences would somehow allow the patient to overcome resistances or reveal hidden content, but the narcissist seems to have no content to reveal and would immediately see thet as a challenge to their own authority. There is a saying in Africa, the King has power (to reproduce, spread a clan) but his general has authority only, is basically a high level slave. Are narcissists impotent?
U r 100 percent right
When the narc x husband was not in a good mood, I would hear him sighing all over the house. After a while I stopped addressing it. He didn't like that 😮😊
1:51 so true
Narcissistic personality disorder people hate these sounds;
* Your Joyful laughter
* Your Words of truth in a rebuttal
* The sounds of your footsteps 👣 walking 🚶♀️ out of their insane world 🌎 of abuse...
Run, run, run 🏃♂️
And
Never
Go
Back.
🕊🌿🌴🌲🍀🫛🌵🥬🐛🥦🌳🌲🍃