Overcoming Loneliness: Friendship 101 (w/ Andrew and Sarah Swafford)
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
- Are you feeling lonely? True friendship is the anecdote to loneliness but what happens if you are struggling to make friends?
Today, Dr. Andrew and Sarah Swafford share the three crucial ingredients to form great friendships from their new book, "Gift and Grit." As Andrew states, "Your friendships are as deep as the good that connects you."
The 3 Ingredients for a Great Friendship:
1. Availability
2. Vulnerability
3. Accountability
Get your own copy of "Gift and Grit: How Heroic Virtue Can Change Your Life and Relationships:" ascensionpress...
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It's really sad but most people just don't want to have friends anymore. They think Sharing a meme every now and then online is friendship.
"Jesus's greatest miracle was having 12 friends in His 30's." Love it!! It's so true, once you're in your 30s you're in this weird place where there's very little context for meeting people and making friends. I'm in my 30's and have 0 friends. Please pray for me that God will give me good and holy friendships, and if not, that I may have the grace to be alone with Him in the garden.
I'd say don't add an "if not" unless you've found in the Bible that God ever wants any of His children to be alone. I pray for you (and myself) to receive, work out, and enjoy Christ's miracle of God-glorifying friendships. 🙏🏾🕊🙏🏾
I know many people but have no substantive friendships. Why? Because no one has time. As a single never married 50+ year old woman all women my age are busy with their families - either kids or grandkids or both. I have always needed others more than they need me. Could not agree more relationships are vital and necessary - I struggle to understand how God created this need in us yet I can't find anyplace l belong or any community where I belong to develop any friendship - not even my parish - believe me I have tried! Just trying to accept that I may always feel isolated and alone for however many years I have to spend this side of heaven 😕
I’m right there with you. I recently joined a new Parrish and it’s not going like I thought it would. I wish there was a group for people just like us It’s really the only thing that’s lacking in my life is just a group of friends or 1 friend
For me, I feel like I am always the one putting the effort but the other side will only give when they don't have anything or anyone else they're currently involved in. It's been like this my entire 39 years of life and it's depressing. The talk of "Oh we have to get together!" Is a statement I hate as they will never follow up. Yes, this is a sore subject for me.
I really feel like lack of friendships/community in the Church is one of the enemy's biggest tactics right now. There is so much hurt in the world. It's difficult to allow yourself to be vulnerable with anyone. Even long-term friendships are in danger these days if you disagree on the support of a specific political figure. It's sad.... really, really sad. It's extremely hard to find good friends who desire to grow in holiness with you. If you have such a friend, it is a great gift from God.
I only have few real friends in my life but I had never really opened up myself to them and I tend to isolate when I have struggles before. But lately, I am seeing myself so differently because I feel so light and free talking to them about my faith journey and how I have won over my deepest wounds and sins, and continue working on my healing. After watching this video, I have realized that I am in the Zone of Freedom which is so new to me because in my life, I have felt so invalidated with everything. And lately it seems that that chain has been slowly breaking. It's the Holy Spirit working in wonders! I really really appreciate this video. May God help me build more friendships that also desire to be closer with Him and heaven!
Thank you for sharing your personal experience 💗 It is beautiful & refreshing to be who God Created us to be 🥰✝️ I believe true friends love & accept us as we are & help us strive to be who we were created to become 💗 God Bless you & all who strive to live our faith & grow in our relationships 💗🙏✝️👼
This is so nice to hear, as I'm Polish. Thanks for spreading JPII's message :)!
I feel bad for Poland after how the elections went.
@@wilhufftarkin8543More conservative country is more normal is.
I’m polish as well and have no friends
I would settle for just someone who is available
What if your the one committing and the others aren't! This is unfair to those that cannot have children and other couples don't want to pray for the couples or hang out with them! My hubby and I are dealing with this right now! No Christians really think about couples that are struggling!
As a single older man of 63 and a caregiver to my father I am quite lonesome . I have lost six friends since 2020 and to make a new one for having coffee together is pretty much impossible . I have three deep friendships but but we hardly see each other in person because of life obligations and I am basically stuck at home
I want this so so much. I'm in (and have been in) one of those "everything is temporary" situations where we've moved 3 times to 3 different states in the past 5 years. I'm not sure how long we'll be in our current situation, and we're working so hard, so there's not a lot of time either, and so I've just felt so unsupported and in need of a good friend. Especially someone with the same beliefs to be friends in faith as well, because I don't really know anyone in my age group who has the same understanding of my faith, let alone ascribes to it. Most of the people in my parish are so tight-knit, and everyone is either so much younger or so much older than me. It feels so isolating.
I was surprised to hear you say that most of the people at your parish are much older or younger than yourself. I was really starting to believe that I was the only one who dealt with that. I'm 21, and I've found it phenomenally difficult trying to find other Catholics around my age, it's honestly quite strange.
I don't know if multiple generations are facing this problem, and you may be younger or older than me, but regardless, it truly is really isolating. So I just wanted to validate that and let you know that you're not the only person that's dealing with the strange feeling of not connecting with, or even seeing many fellow Christians your age.
For me, it helps a little, knowing I'm not completely alone in that struggle, so thank you for sharing that. I wish you the very best, and I hope and pray we will both find lasting connections and community in the near future!
You two, Mr and Mrs Swafford, have a wonderful way of communicating truly valuable, important and meaningful information. This video is an example of that ability. What was once a common sense activiy, building friendships, has become almost a lost art as have so many other good things. In the old days having friends was necessary for survival. Not so much anymore in this day and age. So thank you. I hope you will continue to make more videos.
7:47 😢Heartbreaking because I'm afraid it is a true prediction.
I feel like JP2 would be a great intercession if you have this problem. I feel called to do a novena to him
It's hard because I feel like a lot of people make friends in childhood and college and they're not really open to making new ones. My grandmother is asking me why I don't have more friends but she's lived in the same town with the same friends since she was born. I've moved many times, and keeping up online or phone friendships with old friends just isn't worth it to me.
Ever since my mom passed away I don’t see my family, Its very hard
I live in Minnesota everyone seems so reserved and don't really go outside the social circles they already have. Minnesota nice only goes so far- they'll give you direction to anywhere, but their lake cabin.
“What is this life all about?” [1:57]
“If we are correctly understanding these church fathers...in seeing theosis, or the divinization of the human person, as the ultimate 'telos' or purpose of the incarnation, this may mean only one thing: we're not in modernistic Kansas anymore...” ~Michael Paul Gama
God bless, Dr. and Mrs. Swafford
I’ve chosen to only have acquaintances rather than friends. I’ve been hurt many times in the past and present to desire friends.
Mankind was not a social creation, though in the beginning this was not so. So just how long Adam was without a mate we'll never know, was it 1 day, month, year or even 10 years? Whatever the period God changed this when he created woman out of man, and in so doing, each had a yearning for the other to feel and be complete. I'm not sure where I'm going with this lol but I think everyone has this longing even the hermits who've lived alone for maybe decades in a forest or on a mountain but somewhere in the game of life they just gave up, as I did.
I suppose one plus about being lonely was that while others whirled in turmoil during 2020, many of the lonely wouldn't have noticed any change. Indeed I, myself thrived during that time, I was in my element and couldn't see what all the fuss was about.
I agree but I would like to be able to talk about the sermon at Mass today you know or even go to Mass with someone every once in awhile
@@jcelestine832 I'm unfamiliar about which mass you are speaking. Maybe you have me confused with someone else.
@@wholiddleolme476 I apologize my meaning was just in general I’d like to be able to talk about it.
something I thought about recently, social media is not social at all. Looking at a screen is not the same as looking into someones face. I think that is why people are so different on a screen. It isn't a social interaction, it's almost like interacting with your own mind, or information coming off the pages of a book. If you only read something you disagree with, its nothing like in the generation of the past, where someone would TELL you face to face, a differing view point, where they also communicate so much more that words. They communicate thier body language, posture, tone, facial expression, impressions, and your knowledge of the person.
I was just thinking deeper about this after getting into 2 bad interactions on 2 different platforms with people I only knew in pictures or as a handle.
How can I start been vulnerable with my friends if I am so ashamed of everything that I have done?
My question as well
Thank you for this video ❤ I need Real christian friends right now but I don't know what to say to put in place the Christ centered friendship. God bless you❤
PS : please don't say oh my gosh because it is disrespectful for the name of God, we haven't to say the name of God in vain you know
Thank you for this video. Used to have a group of good friends. One stopped talking to me for unknown reasons. Little by little all the rest disappeared. Now I have zero friends. I feel better knowing I’m not the only one in this situation. I pray for friends…. Hope the Holy Spirit will guide me. I’m hopeful !
As soon as people show an interest or a desire to be my friend, then I’ll make an effort on my part. Anytime I’ve made the first move I’ve been “kicked in the teeth.” I’m done doing things this way
Thank you! God bless!
Thank you for this message! As a recently cancer diagnosed patient, it is amazing to have a support system. I have faith that all will be good, as I surrendered my worries to our Lord, but my friends also remind me, they are here for me! Time is the most precious thing we have, and what we can offer!
Honestly this is beautiful guys Thank you for such amazing amazing video. Everything they're saying is absolutely true whether it's a commitment to a diet or a career or school or a habit forming a habit. To a commitment to your friendships in the virtue that shows up in your friendships to finally a commitment to either a home, marriage and then eventually children. Commitment is truly the greatest adventure You can take so many beautiful twists and turns.
"The anecdote to loneliness"? ;) (video description)
I thank you so much for this! One thing, did you mean the word "wspólnota"? - fellowship, friendship, even brotherhood.
Highly Relevant topic. Helpful is your simpfied approach to this complex culture. On the 3 ingredients, I would suggest "Reponsibility " for accountability. 🎉❤
Thank you for sharing this! This has been something that’s been on my heart as of late as I’m in my 30s and feel the need for more friends.
The cause of suffering, is a multitude of things 1. Attachment. 2.craving. 3 sensual pleasure. 4. Hate. 5. Anger. .6 pride. These basic 6 thing's are the root cause of suffering, to end it one must free oneself from them.
@@Roman-LabradorThe cause of suffering is living in a broken world 🌍. Valley of tears.
@@clouddancer46 Right now in human history humans haven't had it safer from disease ,war, famine, or some marders coming to house butchering your family? When hasn't it been a broken world, when Jesus was here? there was plenty that back then too - that is such a cop out.
Lets see, attachments 1,2,3. Well if get engaged and married you're probably going to build attachments to your spouse , or to your kids.
Craving- and depends what is, ice cream would be fine or pizza.
sensual pleasure? what's point if its not sensually pleasureable - unless doing it out of utility ( Duty sex, husband wants it, wife doesn't, which is worse because he's just using her to get off.) - or doing it produce offspring, which is pretty clinical.
5, Anger - Is human emotion God even has.
@@sitka49 peace and blessings
@@sitka49 psalms 37:8 give up anger
Thank you for this powerful message
Great discussion!
♥️
Anything about the friendship with God which lasts forever?
Capitalism isn't great for friendship, either.
Right because then we start trying to out do each other
Oh guys how relevant is that. Just as if God himself interacts with my inner complain “where my friends are “ . On top of all I’m currently staying in Poland trying to find my people there , struggling . Such a coincidence 😉🤍 thank u 🤗