as always Paulien, you nailed it. wanting the other person to be perfect to my warped standards/wanting myself to be perfect to the point of not feeling like enough, has ruined personal relationships for me.
I resonate so much with everything you say. I had been using self development as a tool to reach a goal of always feeling good and perfect, not having to deal with negative feelings at all. Or I thought, when I heal all my traumas, I will feel good, or I will be worthy of being in a relationship. Life is hard when the brain is your enemy, but I'm glad there are people like you who share their valuable insights. You help me so much with your videos
Yes I know this Paulien- not allowing negative feelings to be has been part of my 'programming'; it is profoundly unhelpful, and has often led me to feel dishonest and bad about myself. It also leads to self-negating attitudes which lay us open to narcississistic manipulation and unjustified self-recrimination. These are subtle processes, but also very powerful; to become aware of them is of course even more powerful; thank you so much again for your insights and help
as always Paulien, you nailed it. wanting the other person to be perfect to my warped standards/wanting myself to be perfect to the point of not feeling like enough, has ruined personal relationships for me.
I resonate so much with everything you say. I had been using self development as a tool to reach a goal of always feeling good and perfect, not having to deal with negative feelings at all. Or I thought, when I heal all my traumas, I will feel good, or I will be worthy of being in a relationship. Life is hard when the brain is your enemy, but I'm glad there are people like you who share their valuable insights. You help me so much with your videos
Yes I know this Paulien- not allowing negative feelings to be has been part of my 'programming'; it is profoundly unhelpful, and has often led me to feel dishonest and bad about myself. It also leads to self-negating attitudes which lay us open to narcississistic manipulation and unjustified self-recrimination. These are subtle processes, but also very powerful; to become aware of them is of course even more powerful; thank you so much again for your insights and help
I'm so happy you are here, because becoming aware of them is the first step to more freedom and I so wish that for you!
Thank you so much for videos like this. They make such a huge difference.
Great video- i agree with a lot of what you've said- keep it up you're doing a great job to help the world heal
The video came at the right time and turned out so well. Thank you!