I always turn to a guy, his name is: Jesus Christ, he fills up every void in my heart with His perfect holy love. He literally dedicates psalms to me, songs, His Spirit guides me and holds me . Find true love, pursue a close relationship with Jesus, love to every sister reading this. You are loved with perfect love.
@@lisamsch2982 girl I tell you the fall of man in the garden of eden did all kinds of mess !! God did not intended for it to be that way, but even in our downfall, He made a way for us to have intimate relationship with Him until His return comes and we can be in perfect joy and peace. I love to read the book “songs of solomon” in the bible (new international version) it’s so much love and so prophetic and just reveals the heart of God towards us in a direct manner. listen, start your days spending some time in that book and just receive His love, reading the Word has changed my life sister. ♥️ you are so so loved
People need validation as you said due to their lack of love and attention as children. Not feeling worthy will cause you to seek validation. Ironically, the more you seek it, the less validated you feel because it’s not enough. Take the time to be alone and listen to your mind and body. Nurture your inner child. You are worthy. You attract, you don’t chase. You are everything, you need nothing.
tysm sis, Growing up my dad wasn’t really present in my life and I always find the need to seek for validation from men, working on that and I hope i get better.
Remember ladies , the main way to raise Self esteem is by doing esteem-able things. Stack up on hobbies, volunteering, anything that gives you a way to build upon yourself without using your looks!!
@@isabelleang6028 exactly, i feel like it doesn't help that much, I'll engage in my hobbies and then be bored and it's like i fall for short term 'highs' and toxic habits, then i go good again
I feel like society attaches value to a woman who can pull a man. Hence the need to post every meaningful moment, the balloons in the hotel bed, and the videos. Like you have to go around that and come back to reality and say “I’m good enough where I am”
When you seek validation from a man, you are putting him on a pedestal. When you ask for validation from others, you are making them seem more important than you and that's not healthy. The only person on that pedestal should be you. Thanks for the talk, Breeny. You always know exactly what to say ❤️
Not trying to be obnoxious and I respect that not everyone shares my beliefs!! But to anyone who is interested in the Christian perspective I would say that the only person on that pedestal should be Christ. We praise God for who he is and through his son Jesus we are lifted up! The cripple has faith in God and Jesus says to him, get up and walk. Jesus tells the young girl who is dead to rise, thanks to her father's faith and plea to God. He forgives the adulteress who is presented by the hateful people as condemned to death and tells her to go on and sin no more. God is our helper and our strength. He encourages us to keep going. He tells us to be courageous. He guides us in wisdom. He says to us, I have given my Son so that I may have you. He redeems us by his great mercy and grace. He adopts us as beloved children. And he urges us to walk as his children -- children who love their father and walk in his ways! 1 Peter says, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." Praise God! And may God bless you all with every blessing in Christ! ♥
Relying on external validation, wether it’s from a man or social media WILL set you up for failure. What do you think will happen when you don’t receive that external validation? You will loose your self confidence. From a self love content creator to another; thank you for talking about this very important topic Breeny! ❤️
That’s imposible. I am referring to people relying on someone else to feel validated. We have to work on ourselves everyday to build our self trust and self esteem. That way we do not feel that we need that validation from others because we already believe in ourselves.
@@F0reverblessed like you said, we can't exist without the thoughts and feelings of others, as being human is an interdependent state of being. This means that we inherently validate ourselves through others. For ex, i am an individual thanks to the existence of others and the ability to differentiate myself from them in my mind-body complex. This proves that you aren't really talking about being free of the validation of others when you speak that way; so what do you really mean when you say that? What you really mean is creating a healthier inner dialogue in the context of being human and dependent on the validation of others. There's a big difference. It's best that women who find it difficult to internalize wisdom - which is most women - stick to the things they know and naturally desire like focussing on their femininity, their beauty/aesthetics, their man, and their children.
@@noirmanoir1061 The point that I wanted to highlight and I’ll rephrase it, it’s that people should work on themselves to avoid depending on others to validate them.
So true!!! The Lord showed me that the reason for this is soul wounds aka wounds in the soul. He healed me and I am ecstatic. I wouldn't have know but Jesus told me. I never even considered the wellbeing of my soul and my spirit until the Lord spoke to me about it all. I was very body focused. Imagine!!!! Truly there is freedom in Christ.
Yeah I suffered a lot from validation. Always seeking for people’s attention and approval. I just understood that when you wait for people’s approval or validation you don’t live 🙌🏼 Thank God I started reading and gaining more confidence in myself 🥰🙏🏼
Hey! I'm so glad you have reached this conclusion I can imagine how much freedom you are feeling right now! Personally I still have this issue... could you suggest me some of the things you read?
I was single & alone for 3yrs & I think it made me so comfortable with myself that now I'm struggling wanting to give people my time. I just don't have time for the bullshit 😫 I loved on myself so hard whilst dealing with health issues so now I'm like if u can't match my energy then oya I wish u the best 👋🏾 Ur shining bright Breeny & Blessing us with these sermons 🙌🏿💜
I knew you meant what you said when you said "oya", thank you for the message, I can completely understand where you are coming from because I have and am experiencing the same things. There's something about having to deal with difficut situations that just doesn't allow you yo tolerate any rubbish. I thank God for the experiences that I had, because although they weren't desireable they made be stronger as an individual and now my sista I can de join you to say any nonsense/ nuisance oya de pass me de waka de go👋🏾
@@DBeauty82 I don't think it's about hating your own company per say, it's more about the human condition. People tend to be more happy in a strong committed relationship with children than being single, countless studies show this.
@Asia Marie no that’s the point. For long term happiness, humans have to be in a long term committed relationship. Human beings are social creatures, we need to reproduce.
@@km0262 and countless studies show that self love is the most important love of all. Hope you get help for your clear lack of value for it. PS “social” does not necessarily mean romantic or reproduction. A lot of people want that but a lot don’t. Maybe you should stop generalizing and take people as the individuals that they are.
I reckon social media makes seeking validation worse for the society. I found myself comparing myself to other girls subconsciously by spending hours checking who liked their posts ,their comments and who shared their posts ergo neglecting myself and wishing I was someone else. I’m no longer on social media and it hasn’t been easy and constantly I felt as if I’ve been missing out but I realized social media is not the prize. Getting into constant hell loops of social media was draining and I found myself being counter-productive. I’m starting to appreciate life and what’s in front of me and not others affairs. However, competitions like beauty pageants have been around since the 1950s. Where women voluntarily set themselves up to see who’s “better” and more “worthy” of the title and if you don’t win you’re not good enough. It really is a crisis, digression is going to take place and competitiveness is going to rise just for validation.
Thank you for writing this. I find I get so much validation in the real world when I’m not even looking for it. Social media is a game no one can ever win. Better to give that up & love yourself🥰
Dont compare yourself as God says comparison is thief of joy. Dont be fooled alot of "influencers" in real life dont even like themselves once they put the phone down
you're absolutely right. I also deinstalled social media and also tiktok ,but because I thought I'm wasting my time and there is nothing at this app I could benefit from , except a good dosis of entertainment. But there are so many better and healthier ways to get this entertainment. Like I can play the piano, paint and learned chrocheting and I actually like doing sports, so why should I waste this pontential by sitting in my room and looking at a stupid screen for hours? well that ended up in a diary-monologue real quick so I'm sorry about that, but I'll still send this up for personal reasons💀
I've been totally alone since December, I moved to Dubai and enjoy my own time. I go to dinner alone, pampering and even jet skiing 😂 I see friends on the weekends too but no family around me. A bad relationship pushed me to discover my inner 💪
i would always dress up inappropriately ,get ready, put on a full face of make up, at a very young age just to get validation from older men. like it was just something that i felt like i needed and i just had to make sure that i have to make them want me or chase me, and if they wouldnt i would literally cry or just do something to satisfy them only for a text. A TEXT. this video literally changed my whole mindset and i hope it never goes back to what it was
When that instant gratification of validation & attention wears off the feeling of loneliness has not disappeared. I had to learn this the hard way. I now have accountability tools to control & manage my emotional “neglect” triggers. It’s so empowering and it truly makes me feel whole & capable of self soothing.
I always see ladies saying as long as my man love it, or my man doesn't complain, but my thing is do you love it? Are you comfortable with it? Bc the moment he no longer likes it or validate you, you are going to start feeling like crap again.
I'm 43 & only just started learning how to love & validate myself without looking for it from others. All my life I've sought validation from my mother & have never gotten it & I'm finally realising that I never will. So I've started changing my reactions to her & accepting who she is & that we are just different. All my life I either pushed people away or else had unhealthy relationships with people whom I thought I could "help"..... Last year I ended a toxic 8 year relationship where I did everything LITERALLY everything. I should have ended it years ago. Anyway I'm single now & I've never been happier. My daughter actually helped me realise how much I looked for validation from my mother & others. I'm happily now on the path to not being a people pleaser anymore & being a me pleaser first.
@Pondering Pixie I can definitely relate. Back in 2019 I had the most emotional yet eye opening experience after recognizing that any time I called my mother and she ignored my call or told my minor sister who would answer that she’d call me back or was busy, I’d be rude and short with my husband or children for a few days. The final straw was when she lied once again to us and told us that she would be visiting for the holidays and pulled a no call, no show. I flipped out so bad and my husband kindly told me that I didn’t know how it made him feel when I took my anger towards my mom out on him. I totally stopped in my tracks right then and there and realized what I was doing for the first time. Then was finally when I chose to let go and stop calling my mom as much. Furthermore, when I did call and she not answer I began taking it on the chin and accepted that this life time I just wasn’t endowed with good and loving parents. The best thing we both can do is be better mothers and love our children the way we know we deserved to be loved. Both of our mothers brought us into this world so we can appreciate them for being vessels. 💗 🌸 My heart truly goes out to you because I know how your heart feels.
@Sharp Enough To Code..... have you ever taken time to realize how evil you are? Your mom brought you into this world, went through the pain of mother hood( you're mother you know what that means) raised you maybe as a single mom in this cold world that is harsh to women, she is probably going through menopause right now.....the only reward she got is from ungrateful daughter like you talking my mother didn't pick my call.... your selfish nature and evil heart don't even consider how your mother feels.... it's always me me me from childhood to adulthood....I believe your husband is going through it.... let's wait and see from 20yrs from now when your daughters start giving you a taste of your own medicine....I wish you good luck
This was me after a toxic relationship. I had the lowest self esteem and self worth. I wanted attention and started comparing myself to friends. It was horrible. I stopped all that and have been much happier. It gets better ladies.
I’m so pleased you spoke up on this topic because even being a Christian we look for validation in SO many external things- it can creep up so easily but the one steadfast fact is that Jesus already tells us we’re ENOUGH ❤️ praying for you Breeny I know your true love is out there and God always has a plan🌹✨
Breeny this is the one! I think we look for that type of validation in other men because some of us never knew the feeling in our childhood or relationships with friends. A feminine journey requires learning to love yourself so you can teach others how to love you correctly. The level of happiness you reach when you treat yourself how you want to be treated is unmatched.
My ex was begging me yesterday to take him back, I'm secure enof now within myself & after been with my friend when we broke up & now realised that the grass was not greener ! Wow folks the hard work paid of I'm loving me now !
I can confirm that it's possible to be happy alone from experience. I used to be the kind of person to jump from one relationship to the other, and when I broke off my most recent relationship where we were living together for a few years (aka I was very dependent on him), I was truly alone. But that's when I confronted myself, and I realized my worth. I also realized I wasn't treated the way I wanted to be treated. Now, I'm actually happier than I was during my (toxic) relationship. So gals (and guys), you can do it, but the hardest step is to face yourself. I don't see another way around it though.
I remember seeking validation from social media and from those around me. I finally gave my life to Christ fully and I became so content with who I am. Please people don’t allow external praise to be the foundation of what your self-esteem sits on.
Breeny I just want to thank you for all these videos on relationships and self worth. I've disliked myself for a long time, always comparing and was sooo insecure. I've always been told to find my worth but i had no idea what that actually meant. Thank you for enabling me to wake up,look like shit in the mirror and still be able to say "good morning beautiful." You've made me emotionally intelligent and comfortable in my body ♡. Now I don't value myself based on my looks because now I know the standard will always change.
I’ve been thinking recently - perhaps you were meant to end it with him. To make this series - and teach so many of us these valuable things. Thank you for this - you will defo live a lovely and successful life.
I’m so proud of you for bouncing back to your true self!!! You’re a powerful woman Breeny. Your ex wasn’t ready for the reality of who you are. You are meant for a strong kind God fearing King.
I have grown to be happy with being alone. I used to be the one chasing for validation but I stop when I realize that every one is fuck up in one way or the other . So nothing make me feel less. I love and admire my strength and how far I have come.
Social media definitely makes it worse , I am a person who suffers from insecurities and constantly feel the need to be validated my my boyfriend and when I go on social media it just makes me feel like I should be validated more
I have always looked for validation from a man I didn’t get much attention from men when I was in high school and college it was different. I felt like something was wrong with me. Especially as a black women I felt like no man wanted me because of the color of my skin also. I settled for my ex a lot deep inside I wasn’t treated right at all. I always thought it was because of how I looked. I’m 32 never been married or engaged. I’m afraid that God doesn’t have anybody for me. I don’t want a man to judge me for the color of my skin or the stereotypes that they have heard about black women. It’s not true and it doesn’t apply to all of us. I pray that God helps me To love ❤️ myself. And not seek validation from a man anymore.
I love how you can advise us by being so honest and blunt but still mainting love and compassion. You have such a warm big sis energy , I love it so much ❤
Breeny, you really dropped this at the best time. I never claim to need validation but it’s been so difficult for me to stay patient for the man that is meant for me. THANK YOU for saying this 💛
Social media makes it a lot worse! I find myself looking forward to seeing likes, comments, reactions, and messages when I open up IG after I post something. I was talking about my self-esteem issues with someone I consider a mentor, and she told me to hide the like count and disable the comments. That way, I can post without being tied to external validation. I'm going to try it the next time I post! Also, don't forget that you are valuable in the eyes of God. He made you and knit you together in your mother's womb.
Trust me this beauty is spitting wisdom. When I asked my husband what made him choose to marry me and he said , He loved how I loved myself and wasn't a validation seeker and also I new how to Respecfully say NO..........when I didn't want to do anything. .
The female need for protection is very powerful. Culture says we can look after ourselves, and I think it’s necessary for us to do it, but we’re at a physical disadvantage all our lives. Unfortunately there’s untrustworthy men who exploit that weakness. One man who never will is Jesus 🙂
I think you made a very good point (also) when you mentioned that as a woman you need to pause for a second and try to give an explanation about why are you feeling insignificant or vulnerable because many times that comes from childhood lack of masculine presence when you needed more so you tend to look for it desperately when you need that reassurance. These emotions are valid, but is fundamental to give them a name and an explanation so you can manage yourself as an adult and as a ‘parent of yourself’. People that didn’t receive that care and attention as kids specially need to be careful about who they let in to fill that void and need to be good friends of themselves.
Self love is very important,I realized I didn't love myself after my mum died she was always reassuring me. Now I have no one to do so,seeing a therapist has really helped me to try to love myself and do things that make me happy.
@@isabellat.7011 me too!! Love Breeny and her amazing vids but watching this video gave me some anxiety as if something was about to... happen. Would love to know where this top is from, to see the design...
Finding a lot of truth is this. Both of my parents are passed on and I constantly feel alone and lonely. I can be alone and it's not so much about needing approval, but I hate the feeling of being unloved and lonely. I find ways to manage but some days are still tougher than others.
Truly one of your best videos yet! Especially with all the couple goals and literal IG accounts just dedicated to glorifying crutch relationships. EVERYTHING you said was on point!🎯🎯🎯
Yoooo... Getting rid of, or silencing, that need for instant gratification( a phone call, a compliment, etc). That's the kicker right there. This part hit me! That's why I seek PATIENCE. I need that. Patience AND self-love.
oh wow. When you said that thing about loving the feeling to be desired and not really connecting with a person and how it feels like when that high goes down... honestly, I had to pause the video because that hit me hard. That's what I'm struggling rn. Thank you for that.
I believe it can stems from unhealthy relationships with past men in a person's life. Both positive or toxic, as human we crave human connection but as a society we condition ourselves to believe it has to come from a men (if you're attracted to men) I think once you learn your own worth as a human being, that when the true healing begins! Thanks for amazing video as always Breeny!
Both women and men seek validation from each other. It's all a subconsciously thing and natural to basically peacock aka show your feathers especially to whom you are actually attracted to. For example a man will get his life together and in the process he has the energy to peacock and maintain attraction to a woman he is attracted to. A woman may also get her life together and in the process peacock and maintain attraction to the man she is attracted to. Even when in a relationship or marriage. Look at Ayesha Curry she still wanted validation from other men. Other than her husband because she wants to know and feel like she is still attractive. So there are levels to this validation ting.
Men generally don't seek validation from women. We just do what we have to do to get what we want. That is totally different from validation. Look at it from a biological and survival stsndpoint. Generally, a man doesn't need your validation to survive or acquire resources. Not the same on the other hand though.
Yep!!! The Lord showed me that the reason for this is soul wounds aka wounds in the soul. He healed me and I am ecstatic. I wouldn't have know but Jesus told me. I never even considered the wellbeing of my soul and my spirit until the Lord spoke to me about it all. I was very body focused. Imagine!!!! Truly there is freedom in Christ.
@@kojoboateng6755 That's wrong actually...men with no validation from women go into existential crisis all the time. Go on to an incel forum on reddit and see if the men feel uplifted by messages like "guys, you dont need female validation" lmaooo In the natural world, males of a population compete for mating rights, a disproportionately high percentage of males in history never got to mate, they were just selected out of the gene pool. Men generally do not condone a life where they are rejected by women. The origin of monogamy in european culture was precisely because sexual inequality created too much instability in greco roman society as sexless men formed violent coalitions and attacked the state instead of being productive members of the empire. If the men did not seek female validation, they would shut up and lay bricks, dig ditches, lay pavements with no fucks given about a sexless life.
@@blaccpanther8715 Again, you're confusing biological urge with validation. The biological urge exists for BOTH men and women. Women and men want physical intimacy and reproduce. What you're not getting is that a man CREATES his world, a woman nests in the world created by a man. It is imperative for the WOMAN to meet a certain standard that attracts the calibre of CREATER she desires. First World feminism blinds a lot of women to this reality. Have you asked why a lot of women have benefitted from empowerment and affirmative measures from the state and corporations, are earning good money, but many of them are still frustrated in their search for "provider and protector" men to partner with? The "provider and protector" man have Soo many options, its left for the woman to "play it right" and secure the man. Its NOT the same on the other hand. You see how a woman has to seek validation from a man?? A man on his purpose doesn't seek validation from women.
Straight up, that’s why I clicked. Thought my thumbnail was tweakin. But her hair covers so to each his own 🤷🏾♀️ after my break up I dressed a lil diff too. How you heal shows through your clothes.
@@TakeitEzae I really love Breeny, I thought that letting a comment cd be good. I see her heart for others. I pray she heals and all of us while avoiding other loopholes. We have nothing to prove. Bc indeed Jesus loves us. Be blessed
@@christellen3077 thank you, God bless you too beautiful. Breeny will be alright especially with her fanbase and loved ones covering her in Prayer and being gracious. Have a good one!
Love your videos!! I grew up in a very sexist culture and taught to seek men’s validation! But lately I’ve been realizing you really don’t need it to be happy and it’s also a lot of pressure to put on someone else to make you feel good about yourself all the time
I think seeking validation is an inbuilt thing by virtue of us being sinners. Men and women alike will seek validation in each other until we grow and mature in Christ.
Breeny, the 7 days are almost over but would you consider doing a video on why you tolerated ur ex's behavior, as a "dating coach" (not sure if you feel you are one). I definitely applaud your honesty and authenticity. Its not easy sharing personal details with the world. Your videos have been soo helpful to women out there including me. So I was a bit shocked at some of the things I've heard soo far. Maybe I did have you on a pedestal, I know everyone is human and the heart wants what it wants. I do believe it would be insightful to hear how you feel looking back especially with your beliefs and your videos
I completely agree. If you don't mind me sharing as I have just broken off a toxic relationship, I would say that it's hard to realize the toxic behaviour while you're dealing with it. I only realized how bad it was after breaking up. The hardest part is going from being love-blinded because you're trying to be understanding (and you are made to feel bad if you aren't), to looking at the facts objectively. What really helps though is sharing what's going on to someone who has an outside perspective as they have a more objective view on the situation.
@@Casxa yes you're right, its hard to see it when ur actually in it. That's why I feel that discussion would be beneficial for viewers - like even when you know all what ur supposed to do/not put up with, how to actually stay strong and not fall into the trap of letting things slide.
Whatever Breeny is saying is not just for us, it is for herself also. It seems she has learned alot from her failed relationships and she is trying to heal through these videos. Lets pray that she takes her own advise and she will grow 🙏🏾.
Breeny, YOUR MESSAGE IS SO POWERFUL AND SO HEALING ! Thank you from the bottom of my heart ; I felt so happy when I saw this video ! This is resonating with the validation that's within myself that I don't need validation from men and from others in my life in order to feel valid, to feel valued as I am, and in order to be able to value myself, my needs, my desires, my body, my truth, my existence, my presence and my life.
You speak life into my spirit when I am low. Thank you for letting God speak thru you. I come here anytime I need life spoken into my atmosphere to remind myself of my truth
Word! I'd like to also point out that this mirrors our subconscious seeking of validation from our original imprintors, our parents. The dad-male connection makes sense, but the mother one also can play into it too. I never felt safe with my mother either along with my father and seeing my mother concede to relying on validation was hard for me to shake off just as much as the affect my dad's emotional absence had on me. When I stopped needing my mom's validation, I really found my individuality and realized I had autonomy and could write my own stars rather than identify with the female need for male validation that ran generations in my family. Phew. Amazing insights from this video!
Amen sister!! You go girl, such an empowering realization. Your comment put me in mind of the quote by Rockefeller ~There is no feeling in this world to be compared with self-reliance - do not sacrifice that to anything else.” - John D. Rockefeller. 🌸 💗
Thank you Queen for this. I often sabotage my relationships bc I put so much responsibility on my partner to give me all the attention in the world or validate my worth or beauty. Through shadow work and growth I’ve learned no man will ever fill a void that is meant for self to fill. It’s unrealistic and very damaging to one’s self esteem. Self love is the best love 💗 We are enough! We need no one to confirm our truth.
I literally cried reading this because this is so me. I am going through this right now. I gained a ton of weight a few years ago and in my current relationship I look for him to GIVE me compliments and validation when really I need to give it to myself. This is so deep
BREENYYYY you actually the big sister I never knew I needed I’m all caught up on this series. But I definitely think women look for validation more today because of social media. A lot of women go to their mans Instagram and scroll through who he follows and see he follows women who do not look like her (big boobs big butt big lips long hair etc etc. the real Instagram baddie) and no shade to those women but I believe that’s one of the reasons we see so many women go under the knife or get injections or do a lot of extreme procedure not for themselves but to fulfill a mans image of what a woman should be.
That validation can drive you to make poor choices that will shape your life forever. I have found validation in myself and I only want approval from the mist high. I’ve also spent a lot of time with myself and I’m starting to love it, value my “me time” and appreciate who am .. a man should never be the reason.
When do you know you are happy by yourself? I have been alone for 3 years now and I long for love but I can also be by myself really well but I miss a man and missing a companion is not weird. We are build to want connection or at least that is what I believe. Settle for anything on the other hand is not a good idea.
Your videos have been amazing! People chase happiness where it doesn’t really exist. It took me years to figure it out for myself. You have to be happy with yourself or you’re never going to be happy. Let God take the lead in your life. Thank you so much. What’s on social media is a fairy tale/goal to a lot of people. If only people knew what happens behind it all🤷🏾♀️
For the longest time I’ve always felt insecure about my appearance (mainly from the bullying I faced growing up) because of this I’ve always felt that I needed validation from boys to build up my confidence, but eventually I learned that they would only hurt me and my self image more, I decided that I was tired of letting these boys and their harsh words define me, I want to be the one to build up my self image, not these boys with outwardly beauty standards and disgusting opinions.
Maternal narcissism is more prevalent than we think. I believe many women suffer from insecure attachment. Social media is very narcissistic and it only fuels the inner trauma we're already dealing with. External validation being one.
I spent 19 years of my life thinking that I was above it, that I had much bigger problems, just to all of a sudden find out that I'm desperate for male validation. Not because I have daddy issues or a distant family or anything, I'm pretty sure it's just because I wasn't really popular with friends or with boys during my formative years. I constantly feel the male gaze from within, I can't leave the house without looking my absolute bestest, not a detail off, I know I'm just overdoing it so much and I know that it's all for others to see, not for myself. I'm just so discouraged that nobody seems to pick me ever, while I'm surrounded by fantastic women for whom it just seems to be that easy and natural. I swear it's so unhealthy, and I feel very wrong when it happens, but sometimes I even feel bitter when other girls complain to me about being catcalled, if it doesn't happen to me as well. Thing is I actually like myself pretty much. I think I'm brilliant and interesting, and I like the way I look. It's just so confusing that I don't seem to figure out what is apparently so wrong with me :')
OMG Breeny, you’re so good at this. You will do great as a relationship and a personality/character advisor. Really enjoyed watching the video as always 👍❤️💕🥰💋
I love you Breeny! Thank you for this message. For your existence, honestly I can listen to you every morning you keep imparting wisdom and sense. Praying for you as well God is with you sis
Girl, I totally checked to see if he viewed that snap too. The lonely feeling is so hard day in and out. Im gonna try the speaking it out to see if it works. Thanks for the recommendation and I loved how you addressed things in this video.
I always turn to a guy, his name is: Jesus Christ, he fills up every void in my heart with His perfect holy love. He literally dedicates psalms to me, songs, His Spirit guides me and holds me . Find true love, pursue a close relationship with Jesus, love to every sister reading this. You are loved with perfect love.
Amen🙏
But why did God design us women this way? Like we crave so much for men?
@@lisamsch2982 girl I tell you the fall of man in the garden of eden did all kinds of mess !! God did not intended for it to be that way, but even in our downfall, He made a way for us to have intimate relationship with Him until His return comes and we can be in perfect joy and peace. I love to read the book “songs of solomon” in the bible (new international version) it’s so much love and so prophetic and just reveals the heart of God towards us in a direct manner. listen, start your days spending some time in that book and just receive His love, reading the Word has changed my life sister. ♥️ you are so so loved
Amen, Amen!! I feel so loved by Jesus. 🤍🤍
So you don’t think God is a woman or just a spirit with no gender?
People need validation as you said due to their lack of love and attention as children. Not feeling worthy will cause you to seek validation. Ironically, the more you seek it, the less validated you feel because it’s not enough. Take the time to be alone and listen to your mind and body. Nurture your inner child. You are worthy. You attract, you don’t chase. You are everything, you need nothing.
thank you for this
this gave me so much comfort.
🙌
tysm sis, Growing up my dad wasn’t really present in my life and I always find the need to seek for validation from men, working on that and I hope i get better.
It’s not unhealthy to need or seek validation. These or normal human needs. It’s now we get our needs met that may be unhealthy… not having needs.
Remember ladies , the main way to raise Self esteem is by doing esteem-able things. Stack up on hobbies, volunteering, anything that gives you a way to build upon yourself without using your looks!!
Thank you I'll try this
!!!
Will definitely be doing this, thanks hun!
i tried doing this but at the same time, a thought in my head wonders 'how will doing a hobby help this??' and it makes me feel so unmotivated gahhhh
@@isabelleang6028 exactly, i feel like it doesn't help that much, I'll engage in my hobbies and then be bored and it's like i fall for short term 'highs' and toxic habits, then i go good again
I feel like society attaches value to a woman who can pull a man. Hence the need to post every meaningful moment, the balloons in the hotel bed, and the videos. Like you have to go around that and come back to reality and say “I’m good enough where I am”
so true!
When you seek validation from a man, you are putting him on a pedestal. When you ask for validation from others, you are making them seem more important than you and that's not healthy. The only person on that pedestal should be you.
Thanks for the talk, Breeny. You always know exactly what to say ❤️
Thank you that’s a super message here
Not trying to be obnoxious and I respect that not everyone shares my beliefs!! But to anyone who is interested in the Christian perspective I would say that the only person on that pedestal should be Christ. We praise God for who he is and through his son Jesus we are lifted up! The cripple has faith in God and Jesus says to him, get up and walk. Jesus tells the young girl who is dead to rise, thanks to her father's faith and plea to God. He forgives the adulteress who is presented by the hateful people as condemned to death and tells her to go on and sin no more. God is our helper and our strength. He encourages us to keep going. He tells us to be courageous. He guides us in wisdom. He says to us, I have given my Son so that I may have you. He redeems us by his great mercy and grace. He adopts us as beloved children. And he urges us to walk as his children -- children who love their father and walk in his ways!
1 Peter says, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."
Praise God! And may God bless you all with every blessing in Christ! ♥
Relying on external validation, wether it’s from a man or social media WILL set you up for failure. What do you think will happen when you don’t receive that external validation? You will loose your self confidence.
From a self love content creator to another; thank you for talking about this very important topic Breeny! ❤️
That sounds great, but what do you think it takes to truly internalize a way of existing that is free from the thoughts and feelings of other humans?
That’s imposible. I am referring to people relying on someone else to feel validated. We have to work on ourselves everyday to build our self trust and self esteem. That way we do not feel that we need that validation from others because we already believe in ourselves.
@@F0reverblessed like you said, we can't exist without the thoughts and feelings of others, as being human is an interdependent state of being. This means that we inherently validate ourselves through others. For ex, i am an individual thanks to the existence of others and the ability to differentiate myself from them in my mind-body complex. This proves that you aren't really talking about being free of the validation of others when you speak that way; so what do you really mean when you say that? What you really mean is creating a healthier inner dialogue in the context of being human and dependent on the validation of others. There's a big difference. It's best that women who find it difficult to internalize wisdom - which is most women - stick to the things they know and naturally desire like focussing on their femininity, their beauty/aesthetics, their man, and their children.
@@noirmanoir1061 The point that I wanted to highlight and I’ll rephrase it, it’s that people should work on themselves to avoid depending on others to validate them.
So true!!! The Lord showed me that the reason for this is soul wounds aka wounds in the soul. He healed me and I am ecstatic. I wouldn't have know but Jesus told me. I never even considered the wellbeing of my soul and my spirit until the Lord spoke to me about it all. I was very body focused. Imagine!!!! Truly there is freedom in Christ.
Yeah I suffered a lot from validation. Always seeking for people’s attention and approval. I just understood that when you wait for people’s approval or validation you don’t live 🙌🏼 Thank God I started reading and gaining more confidence in myself 🥰🙏🏼
Therapy helped me with this
Hey! I'm so glad you have reached this conclusion I can imagine how much freedom you are feeling right now! Personally I still have this issue... could you suggest me some of the things you read?
Listen to messages that will transform your life and Teach you about truth, holiness and righteousness on this UA-cam channel: pastor Paul rika
I was single & alone for 3yrs & I think it made me so comfortable with myself that now I'm struggling wanting to give people my time. I just don't have time for the bullshit 😫 I loved on myself so hard whilst dealing with health issues so now I'm like if u can't match my energy then oya I wish u the best 👋🏾
Ur shining bright Breeny & Blessing us with these sermons 🙌🏿💜
Yassss until you meet someone that matches your energy and also your life goals as in you agree then keep looking
@@shukosworld5754 giiirl exactly. It's hard dating out here the world is upside down right now. I love ur dp BTW 💜
I knew you meant what you said when you said "oya", thank you for the message, I can completely understand where you are coming from because I have and am experiencing the same things. There's something about having to deal with difficut situations that just doesn't allow you yo tolerate any rubbish. I thank God for the experiences that I had, because although they weren't desireable they made be stronger as an individual and now my sista I can de join you to say any nonsense/ nuisance oya de pass me de waka de go👋🏾
and you are inspiring. i hope i too can have that mindset some day.
I really felt this one
"It's possible to be happy by yourself" 👏🏽👏🏽 I NEEDED TO SEE THIS TODAY
@Blank Mane sorry that you hate your own company but remember that not everyone has that problem.
To an extent yes of course..but single or not happiness is what you make it 🤷🏿♂️
@@DBeauty82 I don't think it's about hating your own company per say, it's more about the human condition. People tend to be more happy in a strong committed relationship with children than being single, countless studies show this.
@Asia Marie no that’s the point. For long term happiness, humans have to be in a long term committed relationship. Human beings are social creatures, we need to reproduce.
@@km0262 and countless studies show that self love is the most important love of all. Hope you get help for your clear lack of value for it. PS “social” does not necessarily mean romantic or reproduction. A lot of people want that but a lot don’t. Maybe you should stop generalizing and take people as the individuals that they are.
I reckon social media makes seeking validation worse for the society. I found myself comparing myself to other girls subconsciously by spending hours checking who liked their posts ,their comments and who shared their posts ergo neglecting myself and wishing I was someone else. I’m no longer on social media and it hasn’t been easy and constantly I felt as if I’ve been missing out but I realized social media is not the prize. Getting into constant hell loops of social media was draining and I found myself being counter-productive. I’m starting to appreciate life and what’s in front of me and not others affairs. However, competitions like beauty pageants have been around since the 1950s. Where women voluntarily set themselves up to see who’s “better” and more “worthy” of the title and if you don’t win you’re not good enough. It really is a crisis, digression is going to take place and competitiveness is going to rise just for validation.
Beautifully said🤍
Thank you for writing this. I find I get so much validation in the real world when I’m not even looking for it. Social media is a game no one can ever win. Better to give that up & love yourself🥰
Dont compare yourself as God says comparison is thief of joy. Dont be fooled alot of "influencers" in real life dont even like themselves once they put the phone down
@@cauha12 thank you for that 🥺 love & light💓
you're absolutely right. I also deinstalled social media and also tiktok ,but because I thought I'm wasting my time and there is nothing at this app I could benefit from , except a good dosis of entertainment. But there are so many better and healthier ways to get this entertainment. Like I can play the piano, paint and learned chrocheting and I actually like doing sports, so why should I waste this pontential by sitting in my room and looking at a stupid screen for hours?
well that ended up in a diary-monologue real quick so I'm sorry about that, but I'll still send this up for personal reasons💀
I've been totally alone since December, I moved to Dubai and enjoy my own time. I go to dinner alone, pampering and even jet skiing 😂 I see friends on the weekends too but no family around me. A bad relationship pushed me to discover my inner 💪
i would always dress up inappropriately ,get ready, put on a full face of make up, at a very young age just to get validation from older men. like it was just something that i felt like i needed and i just had to make sure that i have to make them want me or chase me, and if they wouldnt i would literally cry or just do something to satisfy them only for a text. A TEXT. this video literally changed my whole mindset and i hope it never goes back to what it was
When that instant gratification of validation & attention wears off the feeling of loneliness has not disappeared. I had to learn this the hard way. I now have accountability tools to control & manage my emotional “neglect” triggers. It’s so empowering and it truly makes me feel whole & capable of self soothing.
I always see ladies saying as long as my man love it, or my man doesn't complain, but my thing is do you love it? Are you comfortable with it? Bc the moment he no longer likes it or validate you, you are going to start feeling like crap again.
self-love is everything!
Yes! The more internal validation we have, the less external validation we need! 🤗
And inner peace no amount of money can buy that
I'm 43 & only just started learning how to love & validate myself without looking for it from others. All my life I've sought validation from my mother & have never gotten it & I'm finally realising that I never will.
So I've started changing my reactions to her & accepting who she is & that we are just different.
All my life I either pushed people away or else had unhealthy relationships with people whom I thought I could "help".....
Last year I ended a toxic 8 year relationship where I did everything LITERALLY everything. I should have ended it years ago. Anyway I'm single now & I've never been happier. My daughter actually helped me realise how much I looked for validation from my mother & others. I'm happily now on the path to not being a people pleaser anymore & being a me pleaser first.
“Being a me pleaser” YESSSS love to see it 👏🏽👏🏽
Keep winning queen, Jesus is with you through the road ❤️❤️🌹
Yessss!! So happy to hear that you give people hope to turn the ship around
@Pondering Pixie I can definitely relate. Back in 2019 I had the most emotional yet eye opening experience after recognizing that any time I called my mother and she ignored my call or told my minor sister who would answer that she’d call me back or was busy, I’d be rude and short with my husband or children for a few days. The final straw was when she lied once again to us and told us that she would be visiting for the holidays and pulled a no call, no show. I flipped out so bad and my husband kindly told me that I didn’t know how it made him feel when I took my anger towards my mom out on him. I totally stopped in my tracks right then and there and realized what I was doing for the first time.
Then was finally when I chose to let go and stop calling my mom as much. Furthermore, when I did call and she not answer I began taking it on the chin and accepted that this life time I just wasn’t endowed with good and loving parents. The best thing we both can do is be better mothers and love our children the way we know we deserved to be loved. Both of our mothers brought us into this world so we can appreciate them for being vessels. 💗 🌸 My heart truly goes out to you because I know how your heart feels.
@Sharp Enough To Code..... have you ever taken time to realize how evil you are? Your mom brought you into this world, went through the pain of mother hood( you're mother you know what that means) raised you maybe as a single mom in this cold world that is harsh to women, she is probably going through menopause right now.....the only reward she got is from ungrateful daughter like you talking my mother didn't pick my call.... your selfish nature and evil heart don't even consider how your mother feels.... it's always me me me from childhood to adulthood....I believe your husband is going through it.... let's wait and see from 20yrs from now when your daughters start giving you a taste of your own medicine....I wish you good luck
"The only approval you need in life, is that of your positive inner-self."
- Edmond Mbiaka.
This was me after a toxic relationship. I had the lowest self esteem and self worth. I wanted attention and started comparing myself to friends. It was horrible. I stopped all that and have been much happier. It gets better ladies.
Qaa
I’m so pleased you spoke up on this topic because even being a Christian we look for validation in SO many external things- it can creep up so easily but the one steadfast fact is that Jesus already tells us we’re ENOUGH ❤️ praying for you Breeny I know your true love is out there and God always has a plan🌹✨
Breeny this is the one! I think we look for that type of validation in other men because some of us never knew the feeling in our childhood or relationships with friends. A feminine journey requires learning to love yourself so you can teach others how to love you correctly. The level of happiness you reach when you treat yourself how you want to be treated is unmatched.
That's true
🙏🏻
You don't need love and attention from a man, you need love and attention from yourself. Value and appreciate yourself as you are👍
I'm super confused about that top 🤔🤔
🤣🤣🤣
Ikr
My ex was begging me yesterday to take him back, I'm secure enof now within myself & after been with my friend when we broke up & now realised that the grass was not greener ! Wow folks the hard work paid of I'm loving me now !
I can confirm that it's possible to be happy alone from experience. I used to be the kind of person to jump from one relationship to the other, and when I broke off my most recent relationship where we were living together for a few years (aka I was very dependent on him), I was truly alone. But that's when I confronted myself, and I realized my worth. I also realized I wasn't treated the way I wanted to be treated. Now, I'm actually happier than I was during my (toxic) relationship. So gals (and guys), you can do it, but the hardest step is to face yourself. I don't see another way around it though.
The only person we should be seeking validation from is ourself! Period! Sending lot's of love to all the queen's out there! 🙏💕
I remember seeking validation from social media and from those around me. I finally gave my life to Christ fully and I became so content with who I am. Please people don’t allow external praise to be the foundation of what your self-esteem sits on.
Breeny I just want to thank you for all these videos on relationships and self worth. I've disliked myself for a long time, always comparing and was sooo insecure. I've always been told to find my worth but i had no idea what that actually meant. Thank you for enabling me to wake up,look like shit in the mirror and still be able to say "good morning beautiful."
You've made me emotionally intelligent and comfortable in my body ♡. Now I don't value myself based on my looks because now I know the standard will always change.
I'm so happy for you. I hope even in the shitty moments or the moments you don't like yourself you still tell yourself that you're worth it 🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻
Listen to messages that will change your life and Teach you about truth, holiness and righteousness on this UA-cam channel:
Pastor Paul Rika
I’ve been thinking recently - perhaps you were meant to end it with him. To make this series - and teach so many of us these valuable things. Thank you for this - you will defo live a lovely and successful life.
Whatever doesn't Kill you...makes you Stronger.
Yasss girl!
Totally.
@@BreenyLee Your Young. Your Beautiful. Your smart...and now you know NEVER to put your Partner first!
I’m so proud of you for bouncing back to your true self!!! You’re a powerful woman Breeny. Your ex wasn’t ready for the reality of who you are. You are meant for a strong kind God fearing King.
Breeny you look sooo pretty with your natural dark brown eyes my goodness ❤️🔥🔥🔥
I have grown to be happy with being alone. I used to be the one chasing for validation but I stop when I realize that every one is fuck up in one way or the other . So nothing make me feel less. I love and admire my strength and how far I have come.
Social media definitely makes it worse , I am a person who suffers from insecurities and constantly feel the need to be validated my my boyfriend and when I go on social media it just makes me feel like I should be validated more
I have always looked for validation from a man I didn’t get much attention from men when I was in high school and college it was different. I felt like something was wrong with me. Especially as a black women I felt like no man wanted me because of the color of my skin also. I settled for my ex a lot deep inside I wasn’t treated right at all. I always thought it was because of how I looked. I’m 32 never been married or engaged. I’m afraid that God doesn’t have anybody for me. I don’t want a man to judge me for the color of my skin or the stereotypes that they have heard about black women. It’s not true and it doesn’t apply to all of us. I pray that God helps me
To love ❤️ myself. And not seek validation from a man anymore.
I love how you can advise us by being so honest and blunt but still mainting love and compassion. You have such a warm big sis energy , I love it so much ❤
Breeny, you really dropped this at the best time. I never claim to need validation but it’s been so difficult for me to stay patient for the man that is meant for me. THANK YOU for saying this 💛
Social media makes it a lot worse! I find myself looking forward to seeing likes, comments, reactions, and messages when I open up IG after I post something. I was talking about my self-esteem issues with someone I consider a mentor, and she told me to hide the like count and disable the comments. That way, I can post without being tied to external validation. I'm going to try it the next time I post! Also, don't forget that you are valuable in the eyes of God. He made you and knit you together in your mother's womb.
Trust me this beauty is spitting wisdom. When I asked my husband what made him choose to marry me and he said , He loved how I loved myself and wasn't a validation seeker and also I new how to Respecfully say NO..........when I didn't want to do anything. .
The female need for protection is very powerful. Culture says we can look after ourselves, and I think it’s necessary for us to do it, but we’re at a physical disadvantage all our lives.
Unfortunately there’s untrustworthy men who exploit that weakness.
One man who never will is Jesus 🙂
I think you made a very good point (also) when you mentioned that as a woman you need to pause for a second and try to give an explanation about why are you feeling insignificant or vulnerable because many times that comes from childhood lack of masculine presence when you needed more so you tend to look for it desperately when you need that reassurance. These emotions are valid, but is fundamental to give them a name and an explanation so you can manage yourself as an adult and as a ‘parent of yourself’. People that didn’t receive that care and attention as kids specially need to be careful about who they let in to fill that void and need to be good friends of themselves.
Self love is very important,I realized I didn't love myself after my mum died she was always reassuring me. Now I have no one to do so,seeing a therapist has really helped me to try to love myself and do things that make me happy.
Listen to messages that will transform your life and teach you about truth, holiness and righteousness on this UA-cam channel:
Pastor Paul Rika
Thank you so much, Breeny! I’m loving your consistency. Much love to you all!🌈🕊✨🫀🌻☀️🦋
I'm trying to figure out the design of your blouse.
Great video! Thank you, Breeny
Yeah. The blouse negates the video
I was looking for this comment lol I think it's a bit distracting
@@isabellat.7011 me too!! Love Breeny and her amazing vids but watching this video gave me some anxiety as if something was about to... happen. Would love to know where this top is from, to see the design...
Yeah the top threw off the video I couldn’t focus properly. Love her videos but yeah lol wear whatever you want though Queen
I think it's a blouse with cut outs that match her skintone
Finding a lot of truth is this. Both of my parents are passed on and I constantly feel alone and lonely. I can be alone and it's not so much about needing approval, but I hate the feeling of being unloved and lonely. I find ways to manage but some days are still tougher than others.
Sending you all my love sis❤
Truly one of your best videos yet! Especially with all the couple goals and literal IG accounts just dedicated to glorifying crutch relationships. EVERYTHING you said was on point!🎯🎯🎯
Yoooo... Getting rid of, or silencing, that need for instant gratification( a phone call, a compliment, etc). That's the kicker right there. This part hit me! That's why I seek PATIENCE. I need that. Patience AND self-love.
oh wow. When you said that thing about loving the feeling to be desired and not really connecting with a person and how it feels like when that high goes down... honestly, I had to pause the video because that hit me hard. That's what I'm struggling rn. Thank you for that.
I’m so excited to see your notification pop up on my phone every day now!!🥰
I believe it can stems from unhealthy relationships with past men in a person's life. Both positive or toxic, as human we crave human connection but as a society we condition ourselves to believe it has to come from a men (if you're attracted to men) I think once you learn your own worth as a human being, that when the true healing begins! Thanks for amazing video as always Breeny!
Im so confused about this outfit 🤔🤔🤔
Both women and men seek validation from each other. It's all a subconsciously thing and natural to basically peacock aka show your feathers especially to whom you are actually attracted to. For example a man will get his life together and in the process he has the energy to peacock and maintain attraction to a woman he is attracted to. A woman may also get her life together and in the process peacock and maintain attraction to the man she is attracted to. Even when in a relationship or marriage. Look at Ayesha Curry she still wanted validation from other men. Other than her husband because she wants to know and feel like she is still attractive. So there are levels to this validation ting.
Men generally don't seek validation from women. We just do what we have to do to get what we want. That is totally different from validation. Look at it from a biological and survival stsndpoint. Generally, a man doesn't need your validation to survive or acquire resources. Not the same on the other hand though.
Yep!!! The Lord showed me that the reason for this is soul wounds aka wounds in the soul. He healed me and I am ecstatic. I wouldn't have know but Jesus told me. I never even considered the wellbeing of my soul and my spirit until the Lord spoke to me about it all. I was very body focused. Imagine!!!! Truly there is freedom in Christ.
@@kojoboateng6755 That's wrong actually...men with no validation from women go into existential crisis all the time. Go on to an incel forum on reddit and see if the men feel uplifted by messages like "guys, you dont need female validation" lmaooo
In the natural world, males of a population compete for mating rights, a disproportionately high percentage of males in history never got to mate, they were just selected out of the gene pool. Men generally do not condone a life where they are rejected by women. The origin of monogamy in european culture was precisely because sexual inequality created too much instability in greco roman society as sexless men formed violent coalitions and attacked the state instead of being productive members of the empire. If the men did not seek female validation, they would shut up and lay bricks, dig ditches, lay pavements with no fucks given about a sexless life.
@@blaccpanther8715 Again, you're confusing biological urge with validation. The biological urge exists for BOTH men and women. Women and men want physical intimacy and reproduce. What you're not getting is that a man CREATES his world, a woman nests in the world created by a man. It is imperative for the WOMAN to meet a certain standard that attracts the calibre of CREATER she desires. First World feminism blinds a lot of women to this reality. Have you asked why a lot of women have benefitted from empowerment and affirmative measures from the state and corporations, are earning good money, but many of them are still frustrated in their search for "provider and protector" men to partner with? The "provider and protector" man have Soo many options, its left for the woman to "play it right" and secure the man. Its NOT the same on the other hand. You see how a woman has to seek validation from a man?? A man on his purpose doesn't seek validation from women.
Kojo men NEED female validation to PASS ON GENES. With no validation from female, he won't be able to pass his genes on. Learn some biology
Wow the outfit scared me °-° :) Be blessed Breeny and be abundantly blessed thank you for encouraging others!!!
Straight up, that’s why I clicked. Thought my thumbnail was tweakin. But her hair covers so to each his own 🤷🏾♀️ after my break up I dressed a lil diff too. How you heal shows through your clothes.
@@TakeitEzae I really love Breeny, I thought that letting a comment cd be good. I see her heart for others. I pray she heals and all of us while avoiding other loopholes. We have nothing to prove. Bc indeed Jesus loves us. Be blessed
@@christellen3077 thank you, God bless you too beautiful. Breeny will be alright especially with her fanbase and loved ones covering her in Prayer and being gracious. Have a good one!
Girl!! Im still trying to figure out your top 👀
Thank you as always for your videos ♥️
Me too🤣🤣🤣🤣
Sounded like a good video, but I admit I was distracted by the shirt. Sorry if this sounds harsh!
Love your videos!! I grew up in a very sexist culture and taught to seek men’s validation! But lately I’ve been realizing you really don’t need it to be happy and it’s also a lot of pressure to put on someone else to make you feel good about yourself all the time
Can you please do a video on how to get out of your comfort zone,be more open to people and different experiences? I would be so thankful!
Alcohol.
@@a.b5625 yeah I don't wanna create an addiction
YOU ARE ON A ROLL BREENY❤️ I'm loving ittttt
You have no idea how much you’re helping with your series. I needed this. Thank you 🙏 bless you
I don’t understand why your videos align so well with my situation rn.. like it’s scary 😦
I think seeking validation is an inbuilt thing by virtue of us being sinners. Men and women alike will seek validation in each other until we grow and mature in Christ.
Breeny is my big sister at this point 🥰🥰🥰🙌
Thank you sis ❤️
I feel like she’s my big sis and I’m pretty sure I’m a couple years older lol ❣️
Breeny, the 7 days are almost over but would you consider doing a video on why you tolerated ur ex's behavior, as a "dating coach" (not sure if you feel you are one). I definitely applaud your honesty and authenticity. Its not easy sharing personal details with the world. Your videos have been soo helpful to women out there including me. So I was a bit shocked at some of the things I've heard soo far. Maybe I did have you on a pedestal, I know everyone is human and the heart wants what it wants. I do believe it would be insightful to hear how you feel looking back especially with your beliefs and your videos
I completely agree. If you don't mind me sharing as I have just broken off a toxic relationship, I would say that it's hard to realize the toxic behaviour while you're dealing with it. I only realized how bad it was after breaking up. The hardest part is going from being love-blinded because you're trying to be understanding (and you are made to feel bad if you aren't), to looking at the facts objectively. What really helps though is sharing what's going on to someone who has an outside perspective as they have a more objective view on the situation.
@@Casxa yes you're right, its hard to see it when ur actually in it. That's why I feel that discussion would be beneficial for viewers - like even when you know all what ur supposed to do/not put up with, how to actually stay strong and not fall into the trap of letting things slide.
Whatever Breeny is saying is not just for us, it is for herself also. It seems she has learned alot from her failed relationships and she is trying to heal through these videos. Lets pray that she takes her own advise and she will grow 🙏🏾.
Watching Breeny Lee,RC Blakes and Tony Gaskins has literally been a positive mind shift!! I thank God for you three ❤️
Same thing with me, I follow and learn from all 3
Breeny, YOUR MESSAGE IS SO POWERFUL AND SO HEALING ! Thank you from the bottom of my heart ; I felt so happy when I saw this video ! This is resonating with the validation that's within myself that I don't need validation from men and from others in my life in order to feel valid, to feel valued as I am, and in order to be able to value myself, my needs, my desires, my body, my truth, my existence, my presence and my life.
BREENY IS NOT ABOUT TO PLAY WITH YALLLLLL. Love these recent uploads 💖
You speak life into my spirit when I am low. Thank you for letting God speak thru you. I come here anytime I need life spoken into my atmosphere to remind myself of my truth
Thank you for this! Love this - "You should not be afraid to be by yourself."
I love this series!❤️
I wish she could do this every week😭
Word! I'd like to also point out that this mirrors our subconscious seeking of validation from our original imprintors, our parents. The dad-male connection makes sense, but the mother one also can play into it too. I never felt safe with my mother either along with my father and seeing my mother concede to relying on validation was hard for me to shake off just as much as the affect my dad's emotional absence had on me. When I stopped needing my mom's validation, I really found my individuality and realized I had autonomy and could write my own stars rather than identify with the female need for male validation that ran generations in my family. Phew. Amazing insights from this video!
Amen sister!! You go girl, such an empowering realization. Your comment put me in mind of the quote by Rockefeller ~There is no feeling in this world to be compared with self-reliance - do not sacrifice that to anything else.” - John D. Rockefeller. 🌸 💗
Yessssss Breeny‼️ Seeking validation is such an invalid thing to do 🏹❤
Such good timing. I’ve been single for awhile now and sometimes I just need this reminder
Girl the 7 day revenge is something we all secretly needed -keep it coming
This series is on 🔥 🔥 🔥. This conversation is much needed. I so needed to hear this today
Thank you Queen for this. I often sabotage my relationships bc I put so much responsibility on my partner to give me all the attention in the world or validate my worth or beauty. Through shadow work and growth I’ve learned no man will ever fill a void that is meant for self to fill. It’s unrealistic and very damaging to one’s self esteem. Self love is the best love 💗
We are enough! We need no one to confirm our truth.
I literally cried reading this because this is so me. I am going through this right now. I gained a ton of weight a few years ago and in my current relationship I look for him to GIVE me compliments and validation when really I need to give it to myself. This is so deep
when you said "security for your insecutity" i felt that
This was really interesting, I feel like making more videos on validation would help women because this topic is so complex and deep.
Journaling feels beautiful to me.
Your skin looks so good sis !
BREENYYYY you actually the big sister I never knew I needed I’m all caught up on this series. But I definitely think women look for validation more today because of social media. A lot of women go to their mans Instagram and scroll through who he follows and see he follows women who do not look like her (big boobs big butt big lips long hair etc etc. the real Instagram baddie) and no shade to those women but I believe that’s one of the reasons we see so many women go under the knife or get injections or do a lot of extreme procedure not for themselves but to fulfill a mans image of what a woman should be.
Her words always hit home! We truly cherish you Breeny
You’re kidding me, I really needed this today how did you know??
That validation can drive you to make poor choices that will shape your life forever. I have found validation in myself and I only want approval from the mist high. I’ve also spent a lot of time with myself and I’m starting to love it, value my “me time” and appreciate who am .. a man should never be the reason.
Amen and this is something I need to do
You really have made. Difference in my healing journey thank you and please keep doing these 🥺💗
When do you know you are happy by yourself? I have been alone for 3 years now and I long for love but I can also be by myself really well but I miss a man and missing a companion is not weird. We are build to want connection or at least that is what I believe. Settle for anything on the other hand is not a good idea.
Yes! This!!
What I needed please don’t stop ❤️
Your videos have been amazing! People chase happiness where it doesn’t really exist. It took me years to figure it out for myself. You have to be happy with yourself or you’re never going to be happy. Let God take the lead in your life. Thank you so much.
What’s on social media is a fairy tale/goal to a lot of people. If only people knew what happens behind it all🤷🏾♀️
For the longest time I’ve always felt insecure about my appearance (mainly from the bullying I faced growing up) because of this I’ve always felt that I needed validation from boys to build up my confidence, but eventually I learned that they would only hurt me and my self image more, I decided that I was tired of letting these boys and their harsh words define me, I want to be the one to build up my self image, not these boys with outwardly beauty standards and disgusting opinions.
Maternal narcissism is more prevalent than we think. I believe many women suffer from insecure attachment. Social media is very narcissistic and it only fuels the inner trauma we're already dealing with. External validation being one.
🤌🏿
I spent 19 years of my life thinking that I was above it, that I had much bigger problems, just to all of a sudden find out that I'm desperate for male validation. Not because I have daddy issues or a distant family or anything, I'm pretty sure it's just because I wasn't really popular with friends or with boys during my formative years. I constantly feel the male gaze from within, I can't leave the house without looking my absolute bestest, not a detail off, I know I'm just overdoing it so much and I know that it's all for others to see, not for myself. I'm just so discouraged that nobody seems to pick me ever, while I'm surrounded by fantastic women for whom it just seems to be that easy and natural. I swear it's so unhealthy, and I feel very wrong when it happens, but sometimes I even feel bitter when other girls complain to me about being catcalled, if it doesn't happen to me as well.
Thing is I actually like myself pretty much. I think I'm brilliant and interesting, and I like the way I look. It's just so confusing that I don't seem to figure out what is apparently so wrong with me :')
why would you ever want to be cat called 🤨
@@draculacousin that's the thing, I don't want it. But irrationally it feels like an acknowledgement of womanhood
Other people's insecurities are not your's to keep...give them back.
OMG Breeny, you’re so good at this. You will do great as a relationship and a personality/character advisor. Really enjoyed watching the video as always 👍❤️💕🥰💋
I'm so happy you feel fueled to make this series
Just finished watching a vid you uploaded 4 days ago then i see another notification from you🎉you’re really on fire nowadays♥️♥️♥️
Nahhhh these series is giving what it’s supposed to giveee😩😭🙌🏾
I love you girllll...you changed my life ❤ Sis is wise now 😂
no way you dropped this right when i’m needing it. the universe is loving
Breeny, you look so bloody gorgeous!!! the glow! whew..I'm so inspired!
Off topic but your top is like an optical illusion. I thought you were naked at first 😭
Love your video Breeny!❤️ Self love is important to attract a healthy relationship.
Love, peace and joy to everyone reading my comment❤️
I love you Breeny! Thank you for this message. For your existence, honestly I can listen to you every morning you keep imparting wisdom and sense. Praying for you as well God is with you sis
breeny is bringing quality content through this breakup.
Girl, I totally checked to see if he viewed that snap too. The lonely feeling is so hard day in and out. Im gonna try the speaking it out to see if it works. Thanks for the recommendation and I loved how you addressed things in this video.