I’m 68. Epileptic disorder. Diagnosed at 56 with ADHD /bipolar disorder and CPTSD. The latter of which is directly due to my parents constantly telling me that something was wrong with me. I was messy, clumsy, lazy and apparently never applied myself ( what ever the F that means). I did raise six kids but by four husbands and had a fairly good career as a singer songwriter. I have discovered that living alone is the only way for me to cope. I am not on meds. I live a very simple spiritual life with my pets. Finally life is good.
@@JennyCurry-g1q 🤦🏻♀️. My mother just asked me on the phone if I didn’t have ADHD would I be smarter? Thanks Mom. (In high school I tested in the top ten percent of kids in the nation. Go figure.).
We had the same parents sadly and I also have dyslexia I can remember in like the 3rd grade her and her boyfriend laughing at me and making fun of me cuz I couldn't remember how to spell mountain till it finally ended up in her trying to beat it into me, basically and I have been told my whole life oh you just need to try harder, your just not applying yourself, ect if you just worker as hard at school as u did on that video game you might do something with your life. But the thing is I was teaching myself to read and do math by playing them games. Anyways I forgot where I was going with this I'll revisit if I remember lol
I don't want my drive to treat my ADHD, to become a victim of my ADHD! I really need to harness this gift and do something amazing with it...not just for myself, but for my family whom suffers alongside of me.
Alex … I’ve been a gym goer for about 24 years , in 2017 I changed gyms and one day I decided on a whim to book a bodybuilding fitness model comp and got a coach .. went home and thought omg what have I done but I went for it and spent 2 years ( a competition every 6 months of course to keep me hyper focused 😂) competing and actually did very well ! This was when I was coming up 50 ! Very impulsive indeed… 👀
I have the grand issue of not accepting my earned rewards. I graduated with a degree recently and some part of me fundamentally refuses to search for a job in that field due to fear, change, acceptance, and executive dysfunction. All i need to do to start the process is update my linkdin and resume... So thank you ADHD for snubbing my confidence.
I remember back when my kempo sensei informed me that earning a black belt qualified one as a "beginner". I found it oddly soothing, in that while you've been recognized as being qualified to do the work and step into the next realm of learning - nobody is expecting you to be a "master" at anything. You've come further, you have a few bona fides... but ultimately, you've done the work to be ready to learn the job. Maybe that helps... it has served my ADHD and damaged self esteem well over the years.
I've been where you are, minus the diagnosis, and I'd say you might be burnt out, transitions are rough, and yes executive dysfunction. But also procrastinating is part of our process... maybe you need to take a moment to celebrate, enjoy a break first?
Hearing Jo talk about overcompensating spoke volume to me. I have always suspected that I have something different about me however I feel I have managed to blend in quite well in the various environments I occupy. Coming from a West Indian background these topics are not always discussed and often times dismissed. For the sake of my family and those around me I try to improve on myself daily to make sure I don't react in a negative way that could impact them or our relationship. As a parent it does concern me slightly with how I deal with my children, especially as the primary carer for them and also to understand how I can support them if they are in a similar situation. I have been tested, via the NHS, to see if I am on the spectrum and although I have some attributes it was not enough to classed as being autistic. I honestly don't know what I would do or how I would feel if I did find out I had ADHD but like some say, it would be nice to know and to have a better understanding of it and how I can work with it to improve. I also think about if I did have ADHD would I freefully share that information and would that undermine all that I have achieve or would that make me less relatable to people when I share because I could be seen as different and that is why I can do some things well and why others can't. Eitherway I am enjoying this conversation and grateful to you both and all involved in having this conversation and sharing it.
Wow, such an informative and thought provoking interview! 👏💕This professional truly knows her stuff and speaks about ADHD with such elequence. I had so many 'aha!' moments while listening AND getting the dishes washed!! Thank you for sharing your time and expertise with us 🙏❤
Fabulous podcast… I have literally listened to hundreds of podcasts about ADHD (I have my own podcast so often it’s also for research as well as personal growth)… and I have never learned so much from one single podcast… ‘feet on the ground’ common sense advice… thank you
I definitely have Achievement Amnesia, I find that the idea of 'the gap and the gain' is useful. When you complete a task focus on the gain you've made towards the goal, otherwise you'll focus on the gap that remains between yourself and the goal (and goals have a tendency to change in response to action, so we're permanently comparing ourselves to a moving goalpost, anyway). On the 'ADHD Struggle' question, where they said that they "suffer burnout often," it would, I think, have been appropriate to point out that burnout is generally seen as a chronic issue, not an acute one. You don't "suffer burnout often;" you may be symptomatic -- and therefore suffering -- often, but you have burnout the whole time. And that won't go away until it is addressed, which, if you're the CEO of a start-up in a growth phase, will not be until you exit the company or the medical implications of not addressing it start to pile up.
What a great interview! What a blessing it must be to work with Jo Perkins! I was impressed by the quality of her explanations and her profund comprehension of the "Adhd animal"! Thanks a lot for so much light! Alex, I discovered your channel thanks to your short stories that I found always on the point and perfect to make other people easily understand "what it means..." thanks a lot for your great job! You help me little by little to make sense of the mess of my life! 😂 My desire is to manage to make the best of it and you give good tools for that! 🙏
I haven’t been formally diagnosed yet, but asd assessment stated I was text book adhd. I haven’t got any support. I keep making the same unintentional mistakes that I’ve repeatedly made that hurts others (from honesty, over sharing, deep caring, miscommunication and misunderstanding) and it’s destroying things further. I want to learn and understand this. Even though I try so hard to be grey with other people I’m so black and white with myself. I’ve just royally fucked up by asking someone I asking a relative of the person I truly love who they don’t get along with how are we’re managing with their situation as my loved one is struggling and that they have been quiet. It was out of genuine love and concern. The one I love was furious, and understanding I’ve betrayed their trust they confirmed that was the case but I’ve done it before so it is what it is. I feel disgusted in myself, because my deep care and wanting to make others happy and wanting to help was misread as me gossiping and being nosy. I just keep making these mistakes and I don’t know how on Earth to stop. It’s worse because the hurt is unintentional, if it was intentional atleast there’s an underlining motive. I am broken hearted I’ve upset someone I loved. And it keeps happening. I’m not getting any support from professional services or therapies. Luckily I have an excellent GP, but it’s not enough. I need to learn how to understand people and how to react.
I think we all can realize this video is going to blow up! I can relate to so much as can many who have or haven't been down diagnosed. This video for me has helped in so many ways and then raised more questions 😂😂😂 thank you and everyone involved in getting it here.
24:46 I relate to this so much as this is why I’m struggling with my CPA I do poor on diagnostic assessment for chapter and focus only on what I did bad at study an insane amount then realize it wasn’t worth it and should have spent time else where not to mention all the other things I let slip especially sleep😅
I'm sick of this narrative. I want to know how to optimise my acceptance of my ADHD and how to optimise my environment to meet my needs and manage my risks as well as building on my strenghts as an ADHDer. My ADHD is what it is. My brain is what it is. Accept it or ABA off!
Ty ty for this warning. I'm looking for something to watch before bed rn and ty to u/ all the others who've engaged with this for saving me from getting activated by this wornout ablist narrative 💖
self-medicating is something I do with caffeine, normally by noon I've had 32-50 ozs of redbull in the 8 hours I've been up because it has the opposite effect on me and slows my body down but God I want to stop drinking it so bad but soon as I try I can't sit still lol
Why is it the more i try to organize the less it works. Like i might get organized but i lose all my emotions. I dont care about nothing and i want to do nothing. im sitting in this clean room waiting 2 hours to go cooking. i can do either pleasure or organization. even if i force my body my toughts will be where they wanna be. them more you force the worse it gets. Closest iv come is that its not the right kind of organization.
Yes, I very much agree! A few You-tubers I follow introduce their podcast/interview like this and it actually starts to irritate me, although I understand that it‘s being used to get people curious. For me this doesn‘t work anymore. The interviews have great value though, so thank you Alex for your thought-provoking podcasts. From an 62 year old, undiagnosed ADHDer…
55:00 starts the section on sleep issues. My summary would be: - We need to work backwards from when we need to wake up to figure out when we need to be asleep, then add in time to actually wind down. When we are winding down we need to have the TV off and phones put away. - Also the usual (and helpful) advice: prioritize sleep by avoiding caffeine, alcohol, etc. before bed for as long as we need to so we are able to sleep
Basically you need to understand your wind down period and how long it is while knowing how many hours of sleep you need to function your best. If I know i need 7 hours, it takes me 3 hours to wind down, and I want to get up at 7:00 am then I need to give myself space to do that and start my wind down at the right time. No phones is a big one and no tv which I find hard. I’ve started listening to audio books since I can’t have silence.
Lol it's too early to be watching this but hey! On a serious note my mind was linking the old adage of psychopathy in the high performance person and whether some of this has been a lack of information in the past and many of these people in the business world especially have been a more ND diagnosis as we are all aware that so many didn't get that diagnosis in the past because of the symptomatic diagnosis model. It's often been a thought as the numbers of psychopathic individuals always seemed high in industry etc and yet some "symptoms" or traits cross over but are from different roots. To many who don't think in the "has this person an ND" world can see the emotional differences as something different and scary to them - eg direct talking isn't because it's out of a bad place just an unfiltered unmasked moment. Lol not saying that there aren't psychopathic people in these areas and others of course!
Sooo, we have to self diagnose first and if you're epic at masking you'renot going to ask cliche organisation questions. . Thanks. That' explains why it took 51 years. In therapy since I was 19. Infuriating.
How about checking out the MTHFR Gene which is linked to brain and gut issues and then changing diet and adding vitamins and minerals ? As recommended by neuro scientist Gary Brecha? Might make a great episode and help a lot of people?
@@sylwiakowalczyk3270 Is this sarcastic? Because vitamins and minerals can absolutely change the chemistry of the brain. That's one of their roles, to help in the production or regulation of certain chemicals in the brain (neurotransmitters and so on). Doesn't mean they'll fix ADHD, but they can have a huge effect (including death if one is deprived of them). If your idea is that "ADHD is something hardwired into the brain and can't be helped without getting a new brain" that's wrong. How do you thing ADHD drugs work? They help release and regulate certain chemicals in the brain, dopamine and so on.
I have no money because where I grew up, there's no support that diagnosed I need help can't afford it. I wish you wanna do a charity case I'm your girl.
I've been clinically diagnosed plus severely dyslexic your woman your first woman I've seen I've been listening to a lot thank you for understanding me
I have no money because where I grew up, there's no support that diagnosed I need help can't afford it. I wish you wanna do a charity case I'm your girl.
I’m 68. Epileptic disorder. Diagnosed at 56 with ADHD /bipolar disorder and CPTSD. The latter of which is directly due to my parents constantly telling me that something was wrong with me. I was messy, clumsy, lazy and apparently never applied myself ( what ever the F that means). I did raise six kids but by four husbands and had a fairly good career as a singer songwriter. I have discovered that living alone is the only way for me to cope. I am not on meds. I live a very simple spiritual life with my pets. Finally life is good.
Sounds like my story a bit , I hear you.
Wow exactly the same story, waiting for diagnosis at 50 yrs old
Wow thanks sharing this 👏
@@JennyCurry-g1q 🤦🏻♀️. My mother just asked me on the phone if I didn’t have ADHD would I be smarter? Thanks Mom. (In high school I tested in the top ten percent of kids in the nation. Go figure.).
We had the same parents sadly and I also have dyslexia I can remember in like the 3rd grade her and her boyfriend laughing at me and making fun of me cuz I couldn't remember how to spell mountain till it finally ended up in her trying to beat it into me, basically and I have been told my whole life oh you just need to try harder, your just not applying yourself, ect if you just worker as hard at school as u did on that video game you might do something with your life. But the thing is I was teaching myself to read and do math by playing them games. Anyways I forgot where I was going with this I'll revisit if I remember lol
I don't want my drive to treat my ADHD, to become a victim of my ADHD!
I really need to harness this gift and do something amazing with it...not just for myself, but for my family whom suffers alongside of me.
Totally relate to that
21:00 overcompensating… you have just codified here the core of my struggles and unravelling. I’m stunned. Mental and emotional gymnastics… oh my 😮
Alex … I’ve been a gym goer for about 24 years , in 2017 I changed gyms and one day I decided on a whim to book a bodybuilding fitness model comp and got a coach .. went home and thought omg what have I done but I went for it and spent 2 years ( a competition every 6 months of course to keep me hyper focused 😂) competing and actually did very well ! This was when I was coming up 50 ! Very impulsive indeed… 👀
This is amazing! what a brilliant story!
Yet the discipline it took would have given you amazing boosts of dopamine
I have the grand issue of not accepting my earned rewards. I graduated with a degree recently and some part of me fundamentally refuses to search for a job in that field due to fear, change, acceptance, and executive dysfunction.
All i need to do to start the process is update my linkdin and resume... So thank you ADHD for snubbing my confidence.
I remember back when my kempo sensei informed me that earning a black belt qualified one as a "beginner". I found it oddly soothing, in that while you've been recognized as being qualified to do the work and step into the next realm of learning - nobody is expecting you to be a "master" at anything. You've come further, you have a few bona fides... but ultimately, you've done the work to be ready to learn the job.
Maybe that helps... it has served my ADHD and damaged self esteem well over the years.
I've been where you are, minus the diagnosis, and I'd say you might be burnt out, transitions are rough, and yes executive dysfunction. But also procrastinating is part of our process... maybe you need to take a moment to celebrate, enjoy a break first?
This might sound dumb, but let a Friend update it. It will feel different
Hearing Jo talk about overcompensating spoke volume to me. I have always suspected that I have something different about me however I feel I have managed to blend in quite well in the various environments I occupy. Coming from a West Indian background these topics are not always discussed and often times dismissed. For the sake of my family and those around me I try to improve on myself daily to make sure I don't react in a negative way that could impact them or our relationship. As a parent it does concern me slightly with how I deal with my children, especially as the primary carer for them and also to understand how I can support them if they are in a similar situation.
I have been tested, via the NHS, to see if I am on the spectrum and although I have some attributes it was not enough to classed as being autistic. I honestly don't know what I would do or how I would feel if I did find out I had ADHD but like some say, it would be nice to know and to have a better understanding of it and how I can work with it to improve. I also think about if I did have ADHD would I freefully share that information and would that undermine all that I have achieve or would that make me less relatable to people when I share because I could be seen as different and that is why I can do some things well and why others can't. Eitherway I am enjoying this conversation and grateful to you both and all involved in having this conversation and sharing it.
Wow, such an informative and thought provoking interview! 👏💕This professional truly knows her stuff and speaks about ADHD with such elequence. I had so many 'aha!' moments while listening AND getting the dishes washed!! Thank you for sharing your time and expertise with us 🙏❤
Fabulous podcast… I have literally listened to hundreds of podcasts about ADHD (I have my own podcast so often it’s also for research as well as personal growth)… and I have never learned so much from one single podcast… ‘feet on the ground’ common sense advice… thank you
I definitely have Achievement Amnesia, I find that the idea of 'the gap and the gain' is useful. When you complete a task focus on the gain you've made towards the goal, otherwise you'll focus on the gap that remains between yourself and the goal (and goals have a tendency to change in response to action, so we're permanently comparing ourselves to a moving goalpost, anyway).
On the 'ADHD Struggle' question, where they said that they "suffer burnout often," it would, I think, have been appropriate to point out that burnout is generally seen as a chronic issue, not an acute one. You don't "suffer burnout often;" you may be symptomatic -- and therefore suffering -- often, but you have burnout the whole time. And that won't go away until it is addressed, which, if you're the CEO of a start-up in a growth phase, will not be until you exit the company or the medical implications of not addressing it start to pile up.
Actually it can be both acute and chronic at the same time
@@Dancestar1981 Sure, which is why I said it is "generally" seen as chronic.
What a great interview! What a blessing it must be to work with Jo Perkins! I was impressed by the quality of her explanations and her profund comprehension of the "Adhd animal"! Thanks a lot for so much light! Alex, I discovered your channel thanks to your short stories that I found always on the point and perfect to make other people easily understand "what it means..." thanks a lot for your great job! You help me little by little to make sense of the mess of my life! 😂 My desire is to manage to make the best of it and you give good tools for that! 🙏
Thank you both so much 💓
One of the best 👍 great interview with so much relevant and helpful information …. thankyou!
Thanks so much !
I haven’t been formally diagnosed yet, but asd assessment stated I was text book adhd.
I haven’t got any support. I keep making the same unintentional mistakes that I’ve repeatedly made that hurts others (from honesty, over sharing, deep caring, miscommunication and misunderstanding) and it’s destroying things further.
I want to learn and understand this. Even though I try so hard to be grey with other people I’m so black and white with myself.
I’ve just royally fucked up by asking someone I asking a relative of the person I truly love who they don’t get along with how are we’re managing with their situation as my loved one is struggling and that they have been quiet. It was out of genuine love and concern.
The one I love was furious, and understanding I’ve betrayed their trust they confirmed that was the case but I’ve done it before so it is what it is.
I feel disgusted in myself, because my deep care and wanting to make others happy and wanting to help was misread as me gossiping and being nosy.
I just keep making these mistakes and I don’t know how on Earth to stop. It’s worse because the hurt is unintentional, if it was intentional atleast there’s an underlining motive.
I am broken hearted I’ve upset someone I loved. And it keeps happening.
I’m not getting any support from professional services or therapies. Luckily I have an excellent GP, but it’s not enough. I need to learn how to understand people and how to react.
I think we all can realize this video is going to blow up! I can relate to so much as can many who have or haven't been down diagnosed. This video for me has helped in so many ways and then raised more questions 😂😂😂 thank you and everyone involved in getting it here.
Loved this conversation ❤️ Thank you so much for helping with such good quality relatable content!
Just what I needed at 5 am😅
🤣 sorry!
24:46 I relate to this so much as this is why I’m struggling with my CPA I do poor on diagnostic assessment for chapter and focus only on what I did bad at study an insane amount then realize it wasn’t worth it and should have spent time else where not to mention all the other things I let slip especially sleep😅
Could you please have someone on your channel who knows about someone who dyslexic but has ADHD aswel please 🙏
working on it :)
@@ADHD_Chatter_Podcast That's me. Google my name + dyslexia. Take care!
I'm sick of this narrative. I want to know how to optimise my acceptance of my ADHD and how to optimise my environment to meet my needs and manage my risks as well as building on my strenghts as an ADHDer. My ADHD is what it is. My brain is what it is. Accept it or ABA off!
100000% this!
1000000% Agree 👍
Ty ty for this warning. I'm looking for something to watch before bed rn and ty to u/ all the others who've engaged with this for saving me from getting activated by this wornout ablist narrative 💖
self-medicating is something I do with caffeine, normally by noon I've had 32-50 ozs of redbull in the 8 hours I've been up because it has the opposite effect on me and slows my body down but God I want to stop drinking it so bad but soon as I try I can't sit still lol
Why give it up its treatment without prescription meds
Why is it the more i try to organize the less it works. Like i might get organized but i lose all my emotions. I dont care about nothing and i want to do nothing. im sitting in this clean room waiting 2 hours to go cooking. i can do either pleasure or organization. even if i force my body my toughts will be where they wanna be. them more you force the worse it gets. Closest iv come is that its not the right kind of organization.
Wow, she is amazing!!
I appreciate this so much it’s reassuring/reaffirming that I’m on the right track ✌️🙏
Amazing interview! Love it! 🩷🧡💛💚🩵💙
Depends whether you’re looking for a solution or an explanation.
Feeling so seen right now
Love the show, great work. Do not really like the "Diary of a CEO" style introduction.
Yes, I very much agree! A few You-tubers I follow introduce their podcast/interview like this and it actually starts to irritate me, although I understand that it‘s being used to get people curious. For me this doesn‘t work anymore. The interviews have great value though, so thank you Alex for your thought-provoking podcasts. From an 62 year old, undiagnosed ADHDer…
Totally agree, that is very, very old now and has begun to seriously grate.
Fantastic interview , really informative and interesting , Thankyou 🙌
Thanks so much !
Would be excellent, but need a pro Sound Tech to reach 5 stars Content is important and sound clarity matters Thanks
Sorry i really want to know why it ruins my sleep. But a whole hour watching this is too long! Is there short, pointy explanaxion somewhere?
Please? 😂
55:00 starts the section on sleep issues. My summary would be:
- We need to work backwards from when we need to wake up to figure out when we need to be asleep, then add in time to actually wind down. When we are winding down we need to have the TV off and phones put away.
- Also the usual (and helpful) advice: prioritize sleep by avoiding caffeine, alcohol, etc. before bed for as long as we need to so we are able to sleep
@@blargballoon thanks very much!
Thank you for posting the sleep
Time section and making a summary. This is very helpful to me.
Basically you need to understand your wind down period and how long it is while knowing how many hours of sleep you need to function your best. If I know i need 7 hours, it takes me 3 hours to wind down, and I want to get up at 7:00 am then I need to give myself space to do that and start my wind down at the right time. No phones is a big one and no tv which I find hard. I’ve started listening to audio books since I can’t have silence.
Are your podcast on UA-cam music?
It's on all the main audio apps, Spotify, apple podcasts, amazon, google etc x
Lol it's too early to be watching this but hey!
On a serious note my mind was linking the old adage of psychopathy in the high performance person and whether some of this has been a lack of information in the past and many of these people in the business world especially have been a more ND diagnosis as we are all aware that so many didn't get that diagnosis in the past because of the symptomatic diagnosis model. It's often been a thought as the numbers of psychopathic individuals always seemed high in industry etc and yet some "symptoms" or traits cross over but are from different roots.
To many who don't think in the "has this person an ND" world can see the emotional differences as something different and scary to them - eg direct talking isn't because it's out of a bad place just an unfiltered unmasked moment.
Lol not saying that there aren't psychopathic people in these areas and others of course!
I still don’t understand why doctors don’t test people for Pyrrole in the blood ?
Sooo, we have to self diagnose first and if you're epic at masking you'renot going to ask cliche organisation questions. . Thanks. That' explains why it took 51 years. In therapy since I was 19. Infuriating.
*I stopped seeing my last therapist 4 years ago best decision of my life. She was lovely but realised she really couldn't understand me.
*stopped 4 years ago. She was lovely but had no idea what wasgoing on.
Watching this episode because I can't sleep for hours (((
How about checking out the MTHFR Gene which is linked to brain and gut issues and then changing diet and adding vitamins and minerals ? As recommended by neuro scientist Gary Brecha?
Might make a great episode and help a lot of people?
Yeah, for sure. Vitamins and minerals will change chemistry of my brain!
Great advice.
Why did I read that as the "mother f'er" gene? 😂
@@sylwiakowalczyk3270 Is this sarcastic? Because vitamins and minerals can absolutely change the chemistry of the brain. That's one of their roles, to help in the production or regulation of certain chemicals in the brain (neurotransmitters and so on). Doesn't mean they'll fix ADHD, but they can have a huge effect (including death if one is deprived of them). If your idea is that "ADHD is something hardwired into the brain and can't be helped without getting a new brain" that's wrong. How do you thing ADHD drugs work? They help release and regulate certain chemicals in the brain, dopamine and so on.
interesting! will explore
Me too 😂@@RenTheWren
Can you help me?
I have no money because where I grew up, there's no support that diagnosed I need help can't afford it. I wish you wanna do a charity case I'm your girl.
I've been clinically diagnosed plus severely dyslexic your woman your first woman I've seen I've been listening to a lot thank you for understanding me
I have no money because where I grew up, there's no support that diagnosed I need help can't afford it. I wish you wanna do a charity case I'm your girl.
Combing Adderall + Strattera = GTD
GTD=getting things done
Strattera has weird sex sides for me
My goodness. Read the earning label on that one before you decide to take it.
This video voice is quite tiresome to listen. needs better voice sound processing, deesser filter, and frequency eq.
Опять одна пустая вода! Ничего полезного!