Why I Dropped out of University
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- Опубліковано 29 чер 2024
- Someone get this girl some chap stick hot damn
This is the story of why I dropped out of university and abandoned the dreams I had for my life - or did I?
There’s a lot to talk about, much of which I didn’t even touch on in the video, so I've clarified some of that below and in a pinned comment as well.
Also, there are more specific time stamps to key ideas I touched on in the video because wow this is thirty minutes long??? Reference that if you’d like to quickly know more about the things I’m thinking and talking about.
I would really love to hear your thoughts on this topic, or if you have experience with some of the things I’ve talked about.
As always, thank you so much for being here. ❤🙏
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‣ ON PRIVILEGE:
There are two things to touch on here: the privilege to leave higher education (although it still stresses me), and the privilege to leave a line of work that demands so much out of your body, mind, personal life, and even life expectancy; without "blue collar jobs", the world wouldn't be going 'round. And yet there is still a significant class divide that is growing larger by the day. I don't want anything I'm saying here about why I left my field to contribute to that. I'm checking myself, to realize the sacrifices that generations before me had to make just to survive, and how lucky we all are to live in a world of maximum comfort even for the most average person.
Anyway.
For myself and for most people like me, university is a pre-determined path that we’re instructed we must follow, or else...?
When I started seriously entertaining the idea of leaving school, despite how much time and energy I’d devoted to it, I thought about many other people’s realities: how university might be the one thing that will allow them to pull themselves up and out of difficult life situations, perhaps providing for their family as an end result. It’s something that so many people can only dream of. And I was ready to throw the opportunity away? What was wrong with me?
Also, some of the things I mentioned about how the world is changing, and how more and more people are walking away from the ideals we’re all spoon fed from birth (such as “the safe 9-5”, singular career, being the only acceptable thing to pursue), is also extremely privileged. It’s a notion that reminds me of the whole “I no longer dream of labor” frenzy that circulated around UA-cam last year. I don’t mean to stay that sticking with a safe, stable job is suddenly unacceptable… of course not. I myself just landed a really cool job that I’m looking forward to starting (because at some point, financial security is nice).
So many people can’t even fathom an alternative because of circumstance, no matter how much they might want or even need an alternative. They can’t afford to, and having privileged people dangling these ideas in front of their noses can feel not great. I know how this feels because I experienced it last year, and I don't want to create any similar feelings in anyone with this video. Most of us just can’t afford to leave the many late stage capitalistic hellscapes we inhabit.
But I’ll end that there, because that could be a whole other video on its own, and you’re probably not here to read a novel length UA-cam description.
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⌛ Chapters:
(more detailed points below)
‣ intro: 0:00
‣ my background, thoughts on the schooling system: 2:54
‣ the aftermath: 19:07
‣ what I’ve learned: 25:36
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Some of the specific things covered in this video:
• Conditioned to “be great, significant”, etc.: 3:14
• My journey into post secondary: 4:16
• The pressure on young people: 6:00
• Being able to change/make choices is a privilege: 9:00
• Doing work that goes against your core values is an ineffective way to do good in the world: 10:23
• What made me question my field: 11:32
• Not sacrificing yourself to the system as cowardice/”not allowed” to prioritize health or happiness?: 12:32
• What pushed me to leave school: 14:05
• Learning to listen to what I wanted, fighting the hyper-rational mind: 17:55
• Giving up dreams, letting down my mom’s memory?: 19:12
• The fancy piece of paper is not everything: 21:34
• Judging yourself for doing “something different” - comparison can serve a purpose - we can’t live in someone else’s definition of success: 24:02
• Life doesn’t end when you leave familiarity, it begins: 26:20
• You will lose more to indecision than “the wrong path”: 27:16
• Hardship can = immense growth: 29:05
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Hi hi :) I wanted to share another lil tid bit, which I couldn't fit in the description because I stretched that baby to the max and I'm sorry for your poor eye balls.
I don't want anyone to take this video as me bashing being/staying in university and everything it entails - this is only meant to be me sharing my very personal experiences and thoughts on what I've gone through on this journey. I wanted to share all of this because I wish I could go back in time and tell it to myself, when I was going through some really awful emotional and spiritual upheaval. But I suppose that's the point of going through stuff? Yeah.
What you said in this video really resonated with me. I had similar troubles with university. I dropped out at one point, but later returned to finish my degree. I ultimately decided not to pursue a masters. Instead, I moved to the Pacific Northwest because I wanted to live somewhere with beautiful mountains and forests, and I now work in an elementary school, which is very fulfilling. I'm 30, and I still don't know what my "career" will be. There are so many things I want to learn and do in my life, and I don't think I will do just one thing forever. It takes strength to break away from societal (and your own) expectations on how your life should look. I really enjoy your videos, and I'm excited to see what you have in store for the future!
I can relate to the 'panic' of realising that one is on a path that does not lead to where one wants to end up and I think that for many it is part of growing up. The school system does not really prepare you for life and I think the minority of people is lucky enough to have found their 'calling' on their first try. Once one has shaken the fear and panic the world really opens up, although that often comes with an idealism phase ("the world could be so much better if only...") where the world is so exciting and the 'problems' so obvious that finding your place in it seems almost impossible. 27:16 is my favorite part because it sums it up well. I think many (young) people lack perspective and optimism and if I had a wish I'd wish to be able to bottle it up and gift it to other's because a positive outlook for the future is really important and can turn a life around.
I resonate a lot with what you said. I originaly went to the LSE to study Politics and Economics, but ended up really hating what I studied and the possible career choice. So I took a wild decision to move to the land of Tibet wanting to get some healing from the nature. And what happen? I fall deeply in love with their culture, all the lineage, the arts and hand crafts surviving for thousands of years. And then I realize, what the f am I doing in university, I need to really do something that touches my heart. So I transfer to study Anthropology instead, just want to learn more from the traditionals, and help to precerve the beautiful cultures that touches people's heart. And I am soooo happy now, doing something that I really see the value in, and helping the tibetan villagers to solve their poverty issue. I feel like finally I am valuable for something. Thanks so much for your sharing! And pls pls do more video, I always enjoy your expression.
WOW I've always wanted to go to Tibet (or Nepal too)!! I almost went to school for international development and was focusing on this area of the world in my mind. That's so cool and inspiring that you figured that out about yourself! And thank you for the kind words ♥️
Oh I can so relate to this, thank you for sharing!! I also dropped out of university, twice.. first philosophy and then music/classical singing. University just wasn't for me, I don't see the value in a piece of paper. I'd rather learn the things I actually wanna learn and there are better ways to do so. But it was hard, especially right after school when all my friends went on to college and I chose not to. Although I had perfect grades my whole life, was an all-A student and could have done basically anything! It was especially difficult explaining that to my family and relatives. I also felt so much guilt, shame and loneliness in this time. It's also harder to make friends your age if you're not in college. But it's now been a few years and I don't regret those decisions at all! It takes courage to follow your heart but you'll be guided and life unfolds in the most magical ways 🤍
I love that sentence "it's not competition, it's collaboration"... Thank you for sharing Gwen, it feels good to hear your story since I've been in a similar situation of dropping out of uni from an environmental course and struggling with feelings of guilt and shame and feeling lost. You put into words what have been on my mind for quite a while. I'm glad you have finally find a job you are excited about and wishing you the best for the future :)
thank you for sharing this personal story.... ❤️ I thought about going to college/university for a long time, but didn't do it & now I’m really happy about this decision. I'm not made for this kind of pressure to perform...
♥️ I too really believe that not everyone is meant for what our society demands, and I'm starting to see that it's actually really a good thing in a lot of ways..
Gwendelyne! Even at your most confused you are articulate and thoughtful, speaking in lengthy complex paragraphs - a rare gift and a pleasure to encounter. Introductions and prefatorial apologetics are not necessary - your considered humanity and clarity of expression take care of it all.
I, too, grew up with the expectation of taking the privileged path to college - though it felt not like pressure, but just destiny. First year of university was a big disappointment, though, academically - even down to 2 courses being exact repeats of my last year in high school. A lot of the ’shoulds’ and ‘ought-tos’ started to crumble in dissatisfaction. And the Vietnam war has heating up (1967-68), taking more draftees each year and angering many of us. For me, not being in university meant being 1-A - first in line to be drafted. By winter of my second year of university I was completely uninterested. One big disappointment was discovering from my Navy ROTC (that’s Reserve Officers Training Corps) academic course titled “The Nuclear Navy”, that nuclear power was just another way to boil water for a steam turbine. I had honestly hoped it would be something really cool like the warp drive from Star Trek. School was clearly not producing anything of value. Then I discovered a ballet school near campus, started taking classes, danced with their regional ballet company, studied ballet, and ultimately modern, too, in New York City. By fall of my last year in university I was only on campus once a month for a seminar, and it seemed such a waste. What I really wanted was to do what I was already doing most of the time - dancing. (Not something my parents ever thought would be such a stumbling block for their hopes and expectations.) So I withdrew from the university, knowing if I ever wanted to come back and finish my degree, I could. I was re-classified 1-A by my local draft board, and started sweating about having to go to war…while I danced. Some times you just have to do that which feels like jumping off a cliff, for what seem like very good - unavoidable - reasons.
I will gladly hold anyone’s hand as they go over the edge and off into the unknown. It is how we grow and awaken, as you and others in your community here have pointed out.
Your sharing, Gwendelyne, is of great value. You do not disappoint by always just being you. Thanks, once again.
Your last few comments have left me really close to tears (the good kind)! You're so kind and genuine I feel I can't possibly deserve it. I can't say thank you enough for the thought and care you share here, it means so much to me!
And thank you for sharing a bit of your story, I can't even imagine what it must be like to worry about being sent to war. I share your sentiment in being disappointed by a field or a topic of study you thought to be more than what it was.
But more importantly, I feel majorly inspired by your move to go after what you wanted, while having to live with the reality and the fear of that potential outcome - risking being drafted?? That takes some serious guts and puts so many things into perspective. Thank you.
Good for you Gwen. Do what is right for you.
I've had the same feelings recently about the forestry industry. I'm a standing timber buyer for a sawmill. I got my tree marker certification so I could be the one picking the trees that come down (tolerant hardwood single tree selection). Now I'm the one who stands between the sawmill and the forest. I do my best to be the Lorax and speak for the trees. I make sure the private woodlots are harvested sustainably.
Sorry about your mother. My mom got very sick in my last semester of school and she passed shortly after. No words can help but I truly understand what you were/are going through.
Thank you for this video
Thank you so much for sharing all of this. I am looking at this from a slightly different perspective. I dragged myself through uni and got my master's degree, although my life felt like shit during my uni-time... I also found out afterwards that nobody cared about my degree and that it was terribly hard to find employment, because superficial things like how confident you are and how you look seem to be much more important than good marks at uni and this little piece of paper.... It took me nearly a year and a bad episode of depression to find a job after uni, probably partly because of my social anxiety and the lack of suitable jobs in my field... When I finally got accepted it was a very toxic environment in which I had to work and I also had to move far away... I held this job down for nearly 5 years, but soon realized that it was not what I wanted to do with my life, it felt like a waste of time. I wanted purpose, I wanted to do something good in this world.... I ended up leaving my job and my home-country behind. I am now a care giver for my disabled partner and was (whilst he needed me less) a climate activist. I had to pull out of this again, but that is fine. We don't need to decide and then do one thing in our life till the end of our time. Life is fluid and things change and our roles within it change too. When I look back I think the all in all 18 years I spent just being educated were mostly a waste of time. They taught me hardly anything I really needed to know and distracted me from what I deep inside always knew to be the important things in life... But then like you I was a worrier, I wanted to be prepared, I wanted to avoid to be a failure in surviving as an adult and living in this society, in which I just don't fit not matter how hard I try. But I feel like I am at the right place at the right time doing the right thing now. I have no idea what my future holds and no, for the first time I am not prepared. But I now trust the universe that it will be fine once I get to the point that things change again and one thing is for sure, they will... Edit: I just wanted to add, that I admire you deeply to come to these wise conclusions so early in life. It seems like your generation is so much more aware of how important mental well-being is to thrive in this world.
This is so beautiful, you really touched me with your story 🥺 thank you SO much for sharing it. It's very good to hear that you've also figured out how to listen to yourself and do what you want - more of us need to learn how to do this! ♥️
@@gwendelyne Absolutely, it's not about conforming to society no matter what, not if it makes us unhappy or breaks us...
Moody shed, lovely tea, cozy blanket, deep thoughts, check :) The frogs are beautiful!
Many of my friends didn't know at 18-19 what to do and changed course, often dramatically. Indeed, there is this push to be great. Less about competition here, but still.
I got a generalist degree, but stretched by a few years. I started working, enjoyed, and a bit of life happened. Fortunately our system is flexible.
Ultimately, having one is not proof of knowledge, but of persistence and ability to learn. (There are other ways, of course.) My own is 90% outdated after just 15 years.
In some cases it's cool to play the "so that" pattern, enduring / learning something so that you can be better at what you want to do.
Would best to live a little before deciding about our lives, but I see how it conflicts with many other aspects of life (the timeline).
When you talk about saving the world, have you seen Jonna's #14? If you did, this entire rambling will click together with your story.
Have a lovely week!
Thank you for sharing! I love what you've said about trying it out "so that..." That's how I felt. I also resonate with the fact that a degree is more of a testiment to your persistence, but I had to realize I had nothing to prove to anyone any more. It's such an interesting journey 🥰
I've probably seen that one of Jonna's that you've mentioned hahah but now I'm going to go and check!! Thank you for the suggestion 🙏
I am so happy for you. I have known so many people that got a university degree and spent thousands on tuition and then they never used the degree they had for employment. They always had to start at the bottom like everyone else. Being a retail manager, we never follow up to actually make sure people have a degree or diploma. It all depends on your experience. I believe where we are going with education is away from these Universities and colleges where you have to take all these classes that have nothing to do with your degree just to be "well-rounded". We will need to go back to apprenticeships and interning so kids can actually learn something they want to and be excited about it. Our world is definitely changing and will never be the same again. Sending you a big Hug!
it was delightful listening to your story, which resonated with me as well. I completed all my law degrees and also pushed myself to work 7 years before finally having the courage to take a year off for myself now. I have been healing so much these few months, and being able to share what I want to share on youtube has given me so much joy as well. Side hustles are in the end for fun and not for living (only those who are lucky plus also work hard to build their side hustle into an actual biz), it takes a long time to build something and I believe you get something out of persistance and pushing through, BUT you also get other things from soul searching and making a change for yourself. You get something out of every well thought out choice, with the proper mindset. Obviously if it's stretching one's limit and deteriorating health then that's a red flag. I loved your genuine sharing, which is inspiring for many! The cookie cutter path in society is not for everyone. If it helps with anyone who is reading this, I just created a video to help others find their purpose with life. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, I wish that you are doing well and that you will have a great new chapter in your new 9-5 job :) xx
My heart goes out to you, losing your mother ❤ And my heart goes out to with the struggles in the school system. This is quite common (in Ontario anyway , which is quite sad). Your words are wise and you are brave to choose your own path. I am looking forward to your future videos.
Ten-ish years ago I dropped out before finishing the credits for my first year. I’d planned a double major in Arts and Science and somehow that was going to qualify me to bring the human and animal worlds closer together. I also felt the enormous weight of this intangible “greatness” and came from a family of high-performing academics with multiple degrees. Worse (in privilege town), my tuition was fully covered by my dad’s faculty benefits at an internationally respected university. Leaving felt like an asshole move. It took me a while of moving through a lot of what you describe, plus a botched attempt to go to a certification college for another career it turned out I didn’t want. Since then I have worked meaningful and well-paid jobs being hired by word of mouth or circumstance, essentially have a “respectable” career path should I wish to follow it (I don’t), have learned so much so fast through simple experience, have been able to explore all my passions and more, and have never ever looked back. Some people find their calling in institutions- but my guess is that’s actually a fairly small percentage of people. Well done for listening to your soul and your body. They cannot lead you astray.
I love this Kesia, thank you ❤ it's healing to hear other people's stories. I experienced exactly the same thing. My mom was an academic and a school teacher but was also very practical, hands on, having come from a farming background. I feel blessed to have a solid mix of both of these qualities, and really it should be seen as a beautiful thing that I'm able to float between these worlds. But yeah, leaving felt like I would be "squandering" my potential, letting down my parents and grandparents who encouraged me so much to reach that intangible greatness you mentioned, which isn't inherently a bad thing... but it's rigid and unforgiving and at the end of the day that's not how everyone should function for their entire lives.
I LOVE seeing you here Kesia ❤️
I thought about you while watching the video and thought that you two would probably have a nice conversation about this topic 😁
Dear Gwendelyne, I understand each word in your story with all my heart. Especially about embarrassment and guilt that you were feeling. The truth is we can figure out what we want to do with our lives all the time and that can be different things each year or month. 17 is definitely not the age for an ‘important decision’ of your life.
Right now I’m thinking about dropping out the second university. Finally understood that I don’t need one and do all the creativity without a degree ☺️
And yeah, I was so struggling with this idea to have a fancy piece of paper, because that’s not what I want. And the same situation with having no role model in real life, but on UA-cam. We have a lot in common, Gwen 🌿
Dear Gwen, I totally resonate with what you say! And it is so good to hear it, thank you for sharing your story. And I thought the same, the role models I've seen are all youtubers 😄 but I so love the thought of making a living from what you love to do! It must be possible, somehow! That's why we've started our youtube channel, without a plan but with a joyful beginning!
I once knew a man who had several jobs in his live. I got to know him when he was about the age of 50. He has been an interpreter once (I forgot about the other jobs), and at the time I talked to him he collected and traded stamps to make a full living from! He was enjoying his life so much, and I lost contact when he became a dad for the first time, which I think is quite cute and completely ok ^^ he chose to enjoy the time with his child because he knew it won't be as many years as others have with their children 😌 he is probably one of my only non-youtube-role-models.
Anyway, I'm with you in your thoughts! 🙏
Oh! And PLEASE show more of your paintings and the processes 😍 this is adorable!
Beautiful video! I’m so happy you followed your heart!! Wishing you lots of happiness and luck!!💚🍀🌷
Thank you Gwen for this vlog… I hear so many similarities and I am still struggling to figure out what I really want ( and that with 50 years of age 🙄)
I quit my job 3 almost 4 years ago to be more happy… it was so stressful and hard to leave something so well known. To go into something I never have been into. I still struggle and I still am looking for what I really want. I hope one day I will find it.
Good luck to you with everything your heart desires! You did the right thing to follow your heart. Keep doing that! Hugs your way.
The unknown aspect of changing what you're doing is definitely so scary 😬 I'm glad you're doing a similar thing 😊
So proud of you! You are such a beautiful soul, some people can do so much better out of the system of school and university, and a better teaching system exist.
Thank you !
Do what makes you happy and what you see in your mind and feel at heart.
Thank you Ofir, you are so sweet 🥰 what you've said is true!!
It's funny how our body always knows what's best for us before our minds do. PS I want to scream "life is not a competition but a collaboration" at every university program director. PPS watching you paint those frogs in little sweaters healed my soul 💚
right?? Gah.
also YES. It's not my original design but I painted it for my Grandma and she called me the day after she got it to tell me that when she looks at it, it lifts her depression 😭🥰
@@gwendelyne amazing oh my god 😭😭🥰
Very very true when you say ""our body always knows what's best for us before our minds do" :) thanks for pointing this out! inspired!
You're too wild for structured university 🤣🤣
We all go down false paths in life. Sometimes we start something with the best of intentions but things can look different in a new light or with the passing of time. It's good to wrestle with all the feelings you had on quitting, shame, disappointment and feeling like you let down your mom etc. but just because you feel something doesn't mean that it's valid or that we need to hold onto it forever. It's brave of you to be able to let things go when they no longer serve you.
I was 27 before I figured out that I wasn't living for anything, just meandering my way through that "9-5" life. I am turning 34 this year and I am still figuring stuff out. Once you awaken to the reality that you're a doer in life all of the preconceived things like worry about university degrees or caring about if people thing you're weird go out the window. I don't want to be like those people who will judge me anyways, let them go.
You're a well spoken young woman, you'll figure it out dude!
Yeah I was feeling that towards the end, I was experiencing serious vibrating rage when I realized I was spending zero time outside and literally every single one of my waking moments on school work I didn't care about anymore 🥴
Thank you 🙏 glad to know I'm not alone in all of this!
First of all - GREAT VIDEO. You mentioned many interesting things, also RARE. But one of the most unique was - to not RUSH things (and i agree education rushes to make fundamental decisions quickly). It's almost like saying that sometimes we just need a break from progress - in order to find our true PATH. I've done my Master Degree in Poland but the requalified - studying in London - it can really all change later on in life. So trust me - i think your words are extremely valuables for a young generetion. And maybe sometimes even a year break & slowing down could potentially save so much time in the future. Also discovering what you DON'T want to do anymore and leave it - is one of the greatest skills you can develope i believe. That is why all bad time is not a waste either - just a lesson. Anyways all the best Gwendelyne and looking forward for next video 😄
Thank you!! I really wanted to work towards a master's degree in agroforestry, but it was becoming clear to me that I'm being more strongly called in another direction... Thanks for being here 🥰
@@gwendelyne Therefore you have made a great - mature decision 🌸
I actually dont need my master in my work now as i'm a massage therapist so again - it's better to find out sooner 😄 well done
I am haven't finished watching yet but I really want to send you another ❤️! You know I too am in this process since years and I too feel like it's SO hard to actually figure out a way in life that feels good. We're kind of condition into devaluing our internal guidesystem in order to "fit in" and when seeing all the suffering around us it's really hard to move beyond that. It feels like leaving everyone else behind, it feels unfair und I feel unworthy of it. But what I am beginning to realize more and more is, that figuring these things out isn't just a privilege, it's also a responsibility. Because our collective shows what happens with humans who are having endlessly many opportunities but no inner freedom to choose from their hearts - they mainly become functional members of our disfunctional society and through that keep the wheel spinning... Overconsumtion, separation, violence & so many other behaviors are just coping mechanisms that are helping us to cope with our emotional issues. By clearing up our inner self & finding new ways of living we're not only taking care of ourselves but we're also reducing the active harm we cause & we can help others to find similar paths as well, we don't leave them behind, we climb up because we've got suitable tools so that then we can reach back our hands to everyone who's ready to follow ❤️
Wow I have no words, you've said it so perfectly I could cry. This is EXACTLY how I've been feeling. Like it's expected everyone keeps their head down, ignoring situations that make us unhealthy because it's what everyone else is doing so it must be okay... It's so wrong. Thank you for sharing this ♥️♥️♥️
We're in this together Gwen ❤️
“Life and death are of supreme importance. Time swiftly passes by and opportunity is lost. Each of us should strive to awaken. Awaken! Take heed, do not squander your life.” Dogen, a 13th century Japanese Buddhist Priest
Well done, all!
I wish I had your wisdom when I was in my twenties.
So much nice videos i found here.
🥰
I grew up poor enough to only have adequate food the first week or so of the month, among other things; I got a degree, probably the costliest mistake I have ever made. I now work for myself doing something unrelated. IMO, humans were not meant to live the way modern society demands, where all the necessities of survival are so abstract as to be devoid of much real meaning. Some people can live within that construct but many can't. Don't feel guilty for leaving it behind. Happy is supposed to be temporary, it's how we are programmed; personal meaning and fulfillment comes from contrast. A life devoid of all struggle is missing half of the dichotomy that makes periods of it beautiful.
Wise woman already. I think you'll like this artist: The Wanderer' and that you can relate to some songs or maybe find comfort in the lyrics of for example 'We're all going home'.
Ohh that sounds interesting, I'm going to look it up right now! I can already relate to that statement so much 🙏♥️
❤️