Or maybe you should lol. A lot of people in my life expect good things from me, and I'm sure the same is true for all of you. You just don't see it. Your capabilities on the other hand are set by your mind set
@antwinettec I have the opposite problem... Not seen as "cold" per say, but as "failure to take anything seriously"... I'm a "fool". I hide my actual internal emotional angst behind a facade of comedy, so everyone assumes I don't care about much of anything... "Hey, either it's going to work out in the end, or if not, and I don't live to see tomorrow, it's someone else's problem anyways." SO... I shrug it all off. I have to. Over 40 and there's no going back to change anything, even if I would. BUT that doesn't stop others from making that "snap judgment" that I can't take stuff seriously... I do. I just fail to see anything achieved when I'm waving my hands in the air and screaming "we're all gonna die" like everyone else. Frankly, it's not a good look... ...but what the hell do I know? Right? Have faith (real faith) in yourself. It'll show, and you'll find your best fit. Sometimes folks don't "get" you, and you have to be able to shrug it off and move on. A better fit with better folks will come along sooner or later. ;o)
I'm thirty three years old, and this is the first time I've ever heard anyone say "there *is* such a thing as a stupid question". Good on you Jocko, telling the truth
@@RossKempOnYourMum01 saying no homo is a clear indication that your either young. Or insicure about your sexual orientation. Nun wrong with complamenting another man bruh. It's ok
@JMFS if a man looks good and has a style that you think is cool. And you yourself is also trying to better your life and get healthy. Nothing wrong with complamenting another man. We already do "hey bro you loose weight?" Translation:I see your exercising and looking good. "He brother where did you get your cologne?" Translation: hey man you smell really good. Was not straight is going "hey man you look good wanna hang out sometime? You understand. You have to either be uncomfortable with your own sexuality. Or something to not big up your fellow man.
Embrace your flaws admit them willingly. True strength comes from people who are willing to admit they can’t do something. That they are flawed that they are scared.
@kyle lindsey funny you mention it now, i'm about to do a questionnaire for one of the jobs i've applied to. Not quite there yet, but I really dug into one of my personal projects, and started martial arts training, both of which have really boosted my confidence.
This is spot on and well timed man. I recently embarked on an entrepreneurial endeavor and with it shouldered some of the greatest responsibility I ever have. For the first time in my life, I'm captain of the ship instead of a deckhand and it's terrifying. I feel like a total fraud! Despite the fear, I just keep pushing forward, one day at a time. When the fear starts to grip my mind I remind myself that life is just a game of problem solving, and moving piles, and it helps me retain peace of mind. Ultimately, imo, showing up, giving it your best shot and paying attention is just as valuable as whatever outcome you were hoping for, sometimes more so. Thanks for your guidance fellas!
I just got hired for my dream job in Law Enforcement. My first week on the job is when the riots were going on. I stepped into this chaotic time and in my training I've been told I'm stupid, I should know things that I still need help with, like the 100 forms that go for every call, I make safety errors. I feel like I'm failing every day and I am doing my best to improve but my confidence is shaking. If anyone else is feeling this way, you're not alone. Take ownership for your mistakes and for your training. Don't quit. Maybe all you need is a paradigm shift. Go into work feeling like you're going to do great.
It’s not all your fault. You’re being thrown at problems by a mostly incompetent and underfunded police department. Do your best and make sure you voice your experiences and hopefully things will change
Ive really been struggling with this for a lot of things right now. I dont feel good enough for a lot of things. Thanks Jocko and Echo for the needed advice.
regarding the statement about the impostor syndrome: "I wish more people had that". I'm not sure that everybody knows how to handle it but it's probably the best thing that happened in my life. After you overcome it, you'll feel indestructible. And after that, you need to pass it again. And againg But after a while you know it's just an indicator that tells you "out of comfort zone, amazing things incoming, hang on"
2:55 Im so fucking happy I heard this. Im trainging and getting my HS diploma, to go into bud/s and I constantly I question why im doing this. I always look at you guys and look at myself working out and I question myself as to why I'm even getting after this goal, and if I'm even worth it or SEAL material. Thank you guys. Thats so fucking refreshing.
I got my result in college when I engage a subject, which I knew was hard and also my greatest weakness. I practiced it daily and studied it. Needles to say , I crushed it. When I felt comfortable with a subject, the subject crushed me, because I was not hungry anymore. Being overly prepared for something is always better than not being prepared.
The part about over preparing resonates a lot with how I approach tests in college, if I feel like I'm ready I might not be, so I study until I am more than ready, and usually I end up studying more than necessary to get an A, but still, there's nothing wrong with that.
Great information guys. I have had many assignments, that I has some awkwardness, or uneasy feelings. These to me are just warning bells. Keep in mind this can also lead to fear, and don't let fear get in the way of you making progress and "getting after it."
I’m in engineering school and Imposter syndrome is a big thing, it’s kind of a rite of passage at this point. A senior told me when I was an incoming freshman at my college, that everyone who could get into this school is good enough to graduate from it but that not everyone is willing to persevere though it. That has always stuck with me
Recently went from supervisor/T/O. now I am second in command on a gravyard security team. Part of the duties are a secured detail that I have been doing for 2 nights now. Tonight my supervisor is on his day off which leaves me in charge. I am super excited for this but, running this secured detail will be my first time. My guys are really experienced but I am still learning this secured detail. You're advice on this matter is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you. And love the podcast.
I started a pest control job with no experience and i thought I'd be terrible at it. So I overworked and did everything I could to prove myself. Im 3 months in and received a promotion but I still have that imposter syndrome and this video did help me a lot on how to go forward from here.
All you can do is your best, and if your best isn’t good enough for the job, ask your peers (above you, on your level and below you) how you can improve, try to improve, if you still aren’t doing a good enough job I’m sure they’ll let you know and action will be taken, no shame in demotion if you’re not ready for the job yet
I'm glad Jocko brought up the idea that "If you can figure something out on your own, find it out first." Basically be the "gray man" -- don't be so ignorant and complacent to the point that you render yourself helpless. But at the same time, don't be the arrogant jackass who's too cool to learn new things or "already knows" how everything works. Confidence and competence build on each other. If you lack confidence, increase your competence towards the thing that's bothering you. Or even anything in general. I find that exercise really helps my social anxiety. When I start feeling anxious that I might start talking or sounding like a weirdo in public, I make sure to get my exercise in. When I exercise, the endorphins start kicking in, I start to feel more competent, my brain has something else to focus on, and, for whatever reason, it actually "calms" my brain. Then when I go about my daily activities, my brain isn't traveling at a million miles per second. It can properly channel its thought process, and I can communicate more confidently and (hopefully) not sound like a weirdo to other individuals (or at least less like one). I don't feel stupid, I'm not hyper aware, I don't feel guilty. I can get through my day and actually feel better about myself. But yeah, lesson I've learned. When lacking confidence, build your competence, at anything really, although channeling it towards the problem that's bothering you is usually best. Thanks for sharing this good advice on the podcast.
I'm a trim carpenter, and have been for 20+ years. A newbie asked me what it takes to be a trim man. I told him "You have to have the balls to cut it." I've cut pieces of wood that cost thousands of dollars by themselves. You need to jump into the deep end of the pool. It's there that you find out if you're "good enough".
Don Henley said this about the initial success of the Eagles. “Success can be just as disconcerting as failure. You question your abilities and ask “why did this happen to me?’”
I struggle with self confidence and self worth. I often fall into a pattern of self loathing where I don't think Im good enough because I don't know certain skills. And it affects me deeply. I may not show it, but when I make a mistake and I get corrected for it, it makes me wonder am I worth it? And it's hard. Watching these videos has sorta helped me gain a bit of confidence and work through my issues. It's a long road but I'll get there.
Does anyone remember Jocko saying something along the lines of '''when you're 25 you look back at who you were at 20 and laugh at how dumb you were. Same thing at 30, you look back at 25 and so on and so on''? For some reason that truth has stuck with me and I'd really like to find out where exactly I got it from and I am pretty sure it was from one of these episodes
I worked at a bank for a long time. One time they hired a Manager of the department I worked in who had zero banking experience. Zero. He would sign off on things and have to have it explained to him what he was signing off on. And still have a blank look on his face. I would hear him say “ People keep telling me I’ll eventually pick up on this stuff. I’m just wondering when that will be.” Unreal.
this is literally what happened to me.. Desktop support to Network admin... No certs, No college degree, Started off as a temp. My ability to show up 15 min early everyday, never turn down work, even the most petty of tasks (wire management under someones desk, changing toner cartridge,ect) is what helped me pass up over applicants with CCNA,CCNP. I get to travel to different sites and setup servers, PBX/VoIP, Server 2019, SharePoint. It was like drinking from a fire hydrant, in terms of learning everything but it feels so rewarding and this is my first salary position
Leaders should also be comfortable asking dumb questions on behalf of their subordinates, especially when they know a number of them don't know and won't ask. Check your ego at the door - the strength of your team is so much more important than your ego.
In my job I don't feel guilty about "stupid" questions at all. Nobody explains anything. I find everything on my own cause my strength is to figure out how things work (literally they must have gotten me for this skill) but there's no way for me to know internal rules like to whom to talk about something and to whom not. Therefore, when necessary I exercise my right to "stupid" questions. If I cant ask my supervisor about a certain project then, I have to know to whom my supervisor delegated this role.
There is one more side to asking ‘stupid’ questions. Sometimes you have to ask the ‘stupid’ question to make sure that everyone is on the same page with the same underlying assumptions. This is a level setting question to make sure you are all on the same page.
The part about not being overtly open about your flaws is important. Remember, people's perception of you is their reality; so if you say "I don't know" for the one thing you aren't good at in your craft, you are the "he doesn't know a lot" guy in the person's mind.
There's been times I intentionally ask stupid questions. I do this to see what people say, even if I know the answer. The reason why is sometimes there's a fundamental difference in the understanding, which can help explain why something else isn't clicking on other sides. Usually the fundamentals are understood by both sides but the connections or implications understood are different.
I can relate. Just got to my mortar platoon and being the dumb new private I feel like I’m definitely not good enough but I’m actually not half bad on the gun and I’m always learning and asking questions but I still feel like I’ll never be ready. Still a while until we deploy tho so I have plenty of time to get it squared away
Imposter syndrome is a real thing for sure. It has taken a lot for me to get past that in life. I agree though, it is useful because it breeds humility!
Ask questions which show you're engaged in the process. 100% there are stupid questions, or more specifically questions masquerading as a request to someone to do something for you rather than seeking clarification.
2:27 Also: aspiring to be so good you are "perfect" stunts growth. "If you can't be replaced you can't be promoted"-- on to the next thing that will challenge you and sharpen your improving edge.
@@Kyrus92 striving isn't the inhibitor any more than running 1k improves your conditioning toward running 1.007k. It's the assumption of perfection resulting from striving that's an impairment. See Funakoshi Giichin, the Zen tradition, Heisenberg, etc.
I'm starting to figure that out. It's always my main goal in a job to just do the best work I can, but that often leads to getting stuck with shit work no one else is capable of doing probably. I pride myself on how hard I try to work and often get credited for it by supervisors, but it feels like I'll just always be a pack mule (under shitty management at least). I got "promoted" to a lead position in a previous job for coming in, doing my work every day, and not getting involved in drama, but that special position only came with more responsibility (like having to randomly train new employees) with no benefits.
Peter’s principle. Hierarchical systems puts often the wrong persons into the wrong positions. Exceeding expectations is great, underperfoming can also have structural reasons.
I was a pretty new nurse when my first kid was born. He coded on us, and we almost lost him. After a year as a nurse I became a NICU nurse (im the only guy in the unit). I feel like I dont belong with my awesome coworkers. Good...means i gotta work harder to make sure I can hang.
Echo Charles sounds like Lee Syatt from Joey Diaz's podcast if you close your eyes. The body types, however, are NOT the same! Glad I found this podcast
I made this mistake in my first job. I had never worked in an office before. So i asked stupid questions about office shit. I didn't know how to use the scanner. I kept forgetting to do little things that you should know in an office environment since it was my first office job. My superior was clearly annoyed by it and soon into this i could tell she thought i was stupid. At that point i was done. I knew it. They then started thinking others mistakes were mine. Every paper left out must've been me. She herself approved a process out of order and talk me i did it. I would explain to them it wasnt me or that i knew how to do xy or z but they had this perception of me because i asked some legitimately stupid questions early on. First impressions are ridiculously important
Weird timing because I was just thinking about this. A friend of mine and I have the same type of businesses, that's how we met. He has a degree, I don't. He's really confident, and I always feel like I'm running with scissors. Funny thing has happened over the years. He always has problems on his jobs and I don't. I feel like his over confidence makes him sloppy. My feeling of insecurity makes me over plan and triple check everything. I sometimes wish I was more confident, but I honestly think my insecurities have served me well, and I have a much better reputation than he does. It's also fun from a competitive stand point to watch this over confident guy struggle with tasks that I do daily with zero issues..
olsparky wisenheimer it’s true. Do you think Michael Jordan gave a fuck if other people were successful or not? Do you think Elon musk gives a fuck whether other people are successful or not? Do you think Jeff Bezos gives a fuck whether other people are successful or not? They don’t give a fuck they focus on themselves. None of you will get that because you’re not successful like they are
I do this all the time until I learnt it the bad way. Asking a question without thinking is a quick way to get funny responses. Instant shoot down opportunity
I think everyone questions themselves I know I do everyday but that’s what make you better. If you don’t your arrogant and without self discipline just my humble opinion and means zero.
4:05 on this topic of there actually being stupid questions: if youre ever not sure set a time limit to look it up first. Got a dumb question? Spend 20 minutes trying to find the answer (through interpersonal interactions or actual research). Most dumb questions can be answered this way. If you cant find it? Then go ahead and ask the group. It's worked for me in biotech (a lot of complex topics abound that i know little about). It can also be time efficient, nothing worse than wasting too much time on a dumb question someone couldve answered. If you've read this i hope it helps buddy. You got this, your humility about where you are shows you care about your job. Dont lose that 👍.
Fucking imposter syndrome. I'm not a military member, I work in distribution as a supervisor. The best advise I have ever received from a mentor is, "don't let imposter syndrome set in. Believe you've got this and don't be afraid to admit you don't know."
@jockowillink @echocharles 3:32 and later you talk about those in authority often lacking nuance. Therefore they gain no respect. Proverbs 12:16 -“A kind-hearted woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth.” - If a woman can gain respect for her kindness and use of nuance gaining herself respect how much more can a man? Ruthless men without nuance gain wealth and no respect. A kind-heart who recognizes the art of nuance can receive both respect and wealth. Vs. 17-“A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself.” Vs. 18-“The wicked man earns deceptive wages (wealth without honor) but he who sows righteousness reaps a sure reward.” Make no mistake, using nuance, sowing kindness, cost you; Time, energy, sacrifice. The reward is surely respect from those who are of good soil. Great podcasts guy. Thank you Clayton Whitfield of Little Rock, Arkansas for putting me on.
Fail forward fast! Learn by failing, but be quick about cleaning up any messes on your journey. No one has it all figured out, so give yourself a break and realize that you are just learning.
Mmm, close, but not quite. This is why we dont speak in absolutes...because theres always an exception. The exception? Life. You have a divine right to life. Along with that (in america) you have the bill of rights. Doesnt apply everywhere. But your logic here, falls apart. My 2c.
Firghtening Truth Have you ever heard the phrase “freedom is not free”? That is the truth. And the phrase implies that the rights you believe are “guaranteed” can be taken at any moment of complacency. Making those rights, not exactly Divine.
@@stevehoover4730 yea, sure. Except being alive, in itself is god given. Regardless of however you would like to frame the issue... If you want to argue deterministically, I suppose youh could make the argument that "what about abortions?" Yet you stilk couldnt prove it isnt god given. Even when your life is taken, you cant prove one way or the other whether that was fate. So the argument there is futile. As for the rest of it...sure, it can be taken away. But only if we let it.
Do not let other peoples opinion of you become your reality.
@antwinettec you were seen as cold?
Or maybe you should lol. A lot of people in my life expect good things from me, and I'm sure the same is true for all of you. You just don't see it. Your capabilities on the other hand are set by your mind set
LES BROWN 💪
Automotive Anatomy o
@antwinettec I have the opposite problem... Not seen as "cold" per say, but as "failure to take anything seriously"...
I'm a "fool". I hide my actual internal emotional angst behind a facade of comedy, so everyone assumes I don't care about much of anything... "Hey, either it's going to work out in the end, or if not, and I don't live to see tomorrow, it's someone else's problem anyways."
SO... I shrug it all off. I have to. Over 40 and there's no going back to change anything, even if I would. BUT that doesn't stop others from making that "snap judgment" that I can't take stuff seriously... I do. I just fail to see anything achieved when I'm waving my hands in the air and screaming "we're all gonna die" like everyone else. Frankly, it's not a good look...
...but what the hell do I know? Right?
Have faith (real faith) in yourself. It'll show, and you'll find your best fit. Sometimes folks don't "get" you, and you have to be able to shrug it off and move on. A better fit with better folks will come along sooner or later. ;o)
I'm thirty three years old, and this is the first time I've ever heard anyone say "there *is* such a thing as a stupid question". Good on you Jocko, telling the truth
Echo. I like the combination : huge biceps and brains.
U need to say no homo after that
@@RossKempOnYourMum01 no you don't, because the man is stating the truth
@@RossKempOnYourMum01 someone's uncomfortable with their sexuality lol
@@RossKempOnYourMum01 saying no homo is a clear indication that your either young. Or insicure about your sexual orientation. Nun wrong with complamenting another man bruh. It's ok
@JMFS if a man looks good and has a style that you think is cool. And you yourself is also trying to better your life and get healthy. Nothing wrong with complamenting another man. We already do "hey bro you loose weight?" Translation:I see your exercising and looking good. "He brother where did you get your cologne?" Translation: hey man you smell really good. Was not straight is going "hey man you look good wanna hang out sometime? You understand. You have to either be uncomfortable with your own sexuality. Or something to not big up your fellow man.
I'd love to have Jocko as a mentor in any aspect of life. Such a well spoken, humble dude.
Embrace your flaws admit them willingly. True strength comes from people who are willing to admit they can’t do something. That they are flawed that they are scared.
This feeling keeps coming up lately, I'm graduating soon and will be looking for a job in my field, thank you Jocko
@kyle lindsey funny you mention it now, i'm about to do a questionnaire for one of the jobs i've applied to. Not quite there yet, but I really dug into one of my personal projects, and started martial arts training, both of which have really boosted my confidence.
@kyle lindsey I did manage to graduate with my degree since this comment though, so that's good
@@Westonator5000 great man. Thats awesome!!🙏
I just got a job and was freaking out because I made a career change. I’m taking it on though. Ready to learn!
Kev Phillips well yeah, if you don't then surely you'll be stuck in the same job forever right...
You are going to kill it Kev best of luck!
@@auric7482 LMAOOO
And thats all you need. An open mind. A sound heart. And drive.
You got this.
This is spot on and well timed man. I recently embarked on an entrepreneurial endeavor and with it shouldered some of the greatest responsibility I ever have. For the first time in my life, I'm captain of the ship instead of a deckhand and it's terrifying. I feel like a total fraud! Despite the fear, I just keep pushing forward, one day at a time. When the fear starts to grip my mind I remind myself that life is just a game of problem solving, and moving piles, and it helps me retain peace of mind. Ultimately, imo, showing up, giving it your best shot and paying attention is just as valuable as whatever outcome you were hoping for, sometimes more so. Thanks for your guidance fellas!
🤪
Well stated... I needed to read that. Thx.
Very well said. And very encouraging 👍👍
I just got hired for my dream job in Law Enforcement. My first week on the job is when the riots were going on. I stepped into this chaotic time and in my training I've been told I'm stupid, I should know things that I still need help with, like the 100 forms that go for every call, I make safety errors. I feel like I'm failing every day and I am doing my best to improve but my confidence is shaking. If anyone else is feeling this way, you're not alone. Take ownership for your mistakes and for your training. Don't quit. Maybe all you need is a paradigm shift. Go into work feeling like you're going to do great.
Hey man, I’m case no one has said it to you, thank you for your service.
Thank you for what you do. I know no one in law enforcement, but I often think how grateful I am for them and how underappreciated they are.
It’s not all your fault. You’re being thrown at problems by a mostly incompetent and underfunded police department. Do your best and make sure you voice your experiences and hopefully things will change
Ive really been struggling with this for a lot of things right now. I dont feel good enough for a lot of things. Thanks Jocko and Echo for the needed advice.
regarding the statement about the impostor syndrome: "I wish more people had that". I'm not sure that everybody knows how to handle it but it's probably the best thing that happened in my life.
After you overcome it, you'll feel indestructible. And after that, you need to pass it again. And againg But after a while you know it's just an indicator that tells you "out of comfort zone, amazing things incoming, hang on"
You nutty as i , Cioco Loco ?
I'd you went to the bathroom and missed a simple thing..... who give a damn ask it fuck em.
I've recently been promoted to a PM role and this is exactly how I feel. I feel like I don't deserve this role. Thank you, this has helped me.
Wonderful answers Jocko . Asking for help. Nothing wrong with that. Over prepare... Wow... I like challenges. Thank you.
Nice Porsche!
Performing Due diligence in a task , sprinkled with humility in the form of asking questions equals success
2:55 Im so fucking happy I heard this. Im trainging and getting my HS diploma, to go into bud/s and I constantly I question why im doing this. I always look at you guys and look at myself working out and I question myself as to why I'm even getting after this goal, and if I'm even worth it or SEAL material. Thank you guys. Thats so fucking refreshing.
Fuck, I never knew that feeling of not being ready for leadership was normal. Thanks guys
If you have boundless self-confidence and are sure you are ready for any leadership situation, you're either a narcissist or just naive.
Do your best... Give it your all.. Learn as much as you can. Adjust, observe, adjust... And... Breath with a smile
Needed this hard as I just finished my MBA. Great timing.
Don't "fake it until you make it" - people can get hurt and can die!
candied yam
I got my result in college when I engage a subject, which I knew was hard and also my greatest weakness. I practiced it daily and studied it. Needles to say , I crushed it. When I felt comfortable with a subject, the subject crushed me, because I was not hungry anymore. Being overly prepared for something is always better than not being prepared.
The part about over preparing resonates a lot with how I approach tests in college, if I feel like I'm ready I might not be, so I study until I am more than ready, and usually I end up studying more than necessary to get an A, but still, there's nothing wrong with that.
I didn’t understand imposter syndrome until I started my career. Being a young teacher is strange at times.
Great information guys. I have had many assignments, that I has some awkwardness, or uneasy feelings. These to me are just warning bells. Keep in mind this can also lead to fear, and don't let fear get in the way of you making progress and "getting after it."
I’m in engineering school and Imposter syndrome is a big thing, it’s kind of a rite of passage at this point. A senior told me when I was an incoming freshman at my college, that everyone who could get into this school is good enough to graduate from it but that not everyone is willing to persevere though it. That has always stuck with me
Needed this today.
As a man. Love this podcast. Doing a great job. Glad you left that note in. Its easy to ask questions lazily
I am best looking, and the baddest MF’er you have ever seen- Rick James
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
I f**king love you guys. Thanks for this!
"It's called Impostor Syndrome, ever heard of that?"
Jocko: *N O*
Lots to think about here. Good points.
Been suffering from impostor syndrome ever since I was a kid, constantly feeling like I'm a fraud. It's tough but manageable
Check out No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover...maybe useful.
Recently went from supervisor/T/O. now I am second in command on a gravyard security team. Part of the duties are a secured detail that I have been doing for 2 nights now. Tonight my supervisor is on his day off which leaves me in charge. I am super excited for this but, running this secured detail will be my first time. My guys are really experienced but I am still learning this secured detail. You're advice on this matter is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you. And love the podcast.
I started a pest control job with no experience and i thought I'd be terrible at it. So I overworked and did everything I could to prove myself. Im 3 months in and received a promotion but I still have that imposter syndrome and this video did help me a lot on how to go forward from here.
All you can do is your best, and if your best isn’t good enough for the job, ask your peers (above you, on your level and below you) how you can improve, try to improve, if you still aren’t doing a good enough job I’m sure they’ll let you know and action will be taken, no shame in demotion if you’re not ready for the job yet
I guess so but it still seems shameful to me
I'm glad Jocko brought up the idea that "If you can figure something out on your own, find it out first." Basically be the "gray man" -- don't be so ignorant and complacent to the point that you render yourself helpless. But at the same time, don't be the arrogant jackass who's too cool to learn new things or "already knows" how everything works.
Confidence and competence build on each other. If you lack confidence, increase your competence towards the thing that's bothering you. Or even anything in general.
I find that exercise really helps my social anxiety. When I start feeling anxious that I might start talking or sounding like a weirdo in public, I make sure to get my exercise in. When I exercise, the endorphins start kicking in, I start to feel more competent, my brain has something else to focus on, and, for whatever reason, it actually "calms" my brain. Then when I go about my daily activities, my brain isn't traveling at a million miles per second. It can properly channel its thought process, and I can communicate more confidently and (hopefully) not sound like a weirdo to other individuals (or at least less like one). I don't feel stupid, I'm not hyper aware, I don't feel guilty. I can get through my day and actually feel better about myself.
But yeah, lesson I've learned. When lacking confidence, build your competence, at anything really, although channeling it towards the problem that's bothering you is usually best.
Thanks for sharing this good advice on the podcast.
I'm a trim carpenter, and have been for 20+ years. A newbie asked me what it takes to be a trim man. I told him "You have to have the balls to cut it." I've cut pieces of wood that cost thousands of dollars by themselves. You need to jump into the deep end of the pool. It's there that you find out if you're "good enough".
Don Henley said this about the initial success of the Eagles. “Success can be just as disconcerting as failure. You question your abilities and ask “why did this happen to me?’”
I struggle with self confidence and self worth. I often fall into a pattern of self loathing where I don't think Im good enough because I don't know certain skills. And it affects me deeply. I may not show it, but when I make a mistake and I get corrected for it, it makes me wonder am I worth it? And it's hard.
Watching these videos has sorta helped me gain a bit of confidence and work through my issues. It's a long road but I'll get there.
Excellent timing on this video. I’m taking a huge step up and there are some great ideas about approaching the unknown in here.
No longer have to question if I am good enough..now.. Thatd be saying this isnt good enough...thank you guys...youre awesome
Thank you for the advice Jocko! You're the man!
Does anyone remember Jocko saying something along the lines of '''when you're 25 you look back at who you were at 20 and laugh at how dumb you were. Same thing at 30, you look back at 25 and so on and so on''?
For some reason that truth has stuck with me and I'd really like to find out where exactly I got it from and I am pretty sure it was from one of these episodes
2:43:23 of 'Joe Rogan Experience #729 - Jocko Willink
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ua-cam.com/video/NnKcquMobHQ/v-deo.html
Thank You Much 😊 so much
I needed to hear that
I worked at a bank for a long time. One time they hired a Manager of the department I worked in who had zero banking experience. Zero. He would sign off on things and have to have it explained to him what he was signing off on. And still have a blank look on his face. I would hear him say “ People keep telling me I’ll eventually pick up on this stuff. I’m just wondering when that will be.” Unreal.
Very helpful thank you!
this is literally what happened to me.. Desktop support to Network admin... No certs, No college degree, Started off as a temp. My ability to show up 15 min early everyday, never turn down work, even the most petty of tasks (wire management under someones desk, changing toner cartridge,ect) is what helped me pass up over applicants with CCNA,CCNP. I get to travel to different sites and setup servers, PBX/VoIP, Server 2019, SharePoint. It was like drinking from a fire hydrant, in terms of learning everything but it feels so rewarding and this is my first salary position
Leaders should also be comfortable asking dumb questions on behalf of their subordinates, especially when they know a number of them don't know and won't ask. Check your ego at the door - the strength of your team is so much more important than your ego.
There’s no reason you’re not good enough.
^
Fake it til you make it👍🏻
Thank you!
jay it’s okay to not know, it’s not okay to not learn.
i'd enjoy to chat but the knatts keep biting my calf causing irritation
Really needed to hear this! Thank you
Pretty amazing how many collateral skills and wisdom they've learned.
In my job I don't feel guilty about "stupid" questions at all. Nobody explains anything. I find everything on my own cause my strength is to figure out how things work (literally they must have gotten me for this skill) but there's no way for me to know internal rules like to whom to talk about something and to whom not. Therefore, when necessary I exercise my right to "stupid" questions. If I cant ask my supervisor about a certain project then, I have to know to whom my supervisor delegated this role.
There is one more side to asking ‘stupid’ questions. Sometimes you have to ask the ‘stupid’ question to make sure that everyone is on the same page with the same underlying assumptions. This is a level setting question to make sure you are all on the same page.
Jocko's advice is spot on here if you are in the military. However if your not you need to watch your back because you team wont.
The part about not being overtly open about your flaws is important. Remember, people's perception of you is their reality; so if you say "I don't know" for the one thing you aren't good at in your craft, you are the "he doesn't know a lot" guy in the person's mind.
Who cares? It's much more important to be able to admit that you don't know rather than continuing in your own ignorance.
love jocko
There's been times I intentionally ask stupid questions. I do this to see what people say, even if I know the answer. The reason why is sometimes there's a fundamental difference in the understanding, which can help explain why something else isn't clicking on other sides. Usually the fundamentals are understood by both sides but the connections or implications understood are different.
Needed this one today
Echo always friendly
Ask as many questions as you need, but as few as possible.
I've felt imposter syndrome for as long as I can remember. It's certainly a struggle but it's a humbling reminder at times.
I can relate. Just got to my mortar platoon and being the dumb new private I feel like I’m definitely not good enough but I’m actually not half bad on the gun and I’m always learning and asking questions but I still feel like I’ll never be ready. Still a while until we deploy tho so I have plenty of time to get it squared away
Jocko i fucking love u
Timing right on the money, got assigned one such task just now
Imposter syndrome is a real thing for sure. It has taken a lot for me to get past that in life. I agree though, it is useful because it breeds humility!
Ask questions which show you're engaged in the process.
100% there are stupid questions, or more specifically questions masquerading as a request to someone to do something for you rather than seeking clarification.
So dont be to proud to make mistakes thanks Jocko 🇺🇸💪
2:27 Also: aspiring to be so good you are "perfect" stunts growth. "If you can't be replaced you can't be promoted"-- on to the next thing that will challenge you and sharpen your improving edge.
Huh, interesting... Never thought about striving for perfection being a growth inhibitor... Good any more literature/ yt-links on that?
@@Kyrus92 striving isn't the inhibitor any more than running 1k improves your conditioning toward running 1.007k. It's the assumption of perfection resulting from striving that's an impairment. See Funakoshi Giichin, the Zen tradition, Heisenberg, etc.
@@TroyMountain Ah, I think I see what you mean.
I'm starting to figure that out. It's always my main goal in a job to just do the best work I can, but that often leads to getting stuck with shit work no one else is capable of doing probably. I pride myself on how hard I try to work and often get credited for it by supervisors, but it feels like I'll just always be a pack mule (under shitty management at least).
I got "promoted" to a lead position in a previous job for coming in, doing my work every day, and not getting involved in drama, but that special position only came with more responsibility (like having to randomly train new employees) with no benefits.
Thumbs up for the great Jocko content AND the BRCC advert. :)
Peter’s principle. Hierarchical systems puts often the wrong persons into the wrong positions. Exceeding expectations is great, underperfoming can also have structural reasons.
Just had my first week on the job nice timing
Are you Happy ? back Yard Camper
I was a pretty new nurse when my first kid was born. He coded on us, and we almost lost him. After a year as a nurse I became a NICU nurse (im the only guy in the unit). I feel like I dont belong with my awesome coworkers. Good...means i gotta work harder to make sure I can hang.
Echo Charles sounds like Lee Syatt from Joey Diaz's podcast if you close your eyes. The body types, however, are NOT the same! Glad I found this podcast
You're not gonna know everything but you gotta know something.
Echo's arms are insane
I made this mistake in my first job. I had never worked in an office before. So i asked stupid questions about office shit. I didn't know how to use the scanner. I kept forgetting to do little things that you should know in an office environment since it was my first office job. My superior was clearly annoyed by it and soon into this i could tell she thought i was stupid. At that point i was done. I knew it. They then started thinking others mistakes were mine. Every paper left out must've been me. She herself approved a process out of order and talk me i did it. I would explain to them it wasnt me or that i knew how to do xy or z but they had this perception of me because i asked some legitimately stupid questions early on. First impressions are ridiculously important
Weird timing because I was just thinking about this. A friend of mine and I have the same type of businesses, that's how we met. He has a degree, I don't. He's really confident, and I always feel like I'm running with scissors. Funny thing has happened over the years. He always has problems on his jobs and I don't. I feel like his over confidence makes him sloppy. My feeling of insecurity makes me over plan and triple check everything. I sometimes wish I was more confident, but I honestly think my insecurities have served me well, and I have a much better reputation than he does. It's also fun from a competitive stand point to watch this over confident guy struggle with tasks that I do daily with zero issues..
You sound pretty...confident 😋
It's better to have scissors than to not have scissors
Successful people don’t get joy out of other people’s shortcomings and failures.
@@blackout2430 Right. Because only unsuccessful people enjoy watching their arrogant competitors eat a little humble pie.. Lol
olsparky wisenheimer it’s true. Do you think Michael Jordan gave a fuck if other people were successful or not? Do you think Elon musk gives a fuck whether other people are successful or not? Do you think Jeff Bezos gives a fuck whether other people are successful or not? They don’t give a fuck they focus on themselves. None of you will get that because you’re not successful like they are
I do this all the time until I learnt it the bad way. Asking a question without thinking is a quick way to get funny responses. Instant shoot down opportunity
I like Jocko. Sweetheart.
Just finished my patient assessment for emt school (passed) but fuck I wish I found this sooner
I think everyone questions themselves I know I do everyday but that’s what make you better. If you don’t your arrogant and without self discipline just my humble opinion and means zero.
4:05 on this topic of there actually being stupid questions: if youre ever not sure set a time limit to look it up first. Got a dumb question? Spend 20 minutes trying to find the answer (through interpersonal interactions or actual research). Most dumb questions can be answered this way. If you cant find it? Then go ahead and ask the group. It's worked for me in biotech (a lot of complex topics abound that i know little about). It can also be time efficient, nothing worse than wasting too much time on a dumb question someone couldve answered.
If you've read this i hope it helps buddy. You got this, your humility about where you are shows you care about your job. Dont lose that 👍.
Go Echo Jocko Too !!"
The algorithm must know pinning is coming up. Very timely.
I'm even more afraid than before.
Fucking imposter syndrome. I'm not a military member, I work in distribution as a supervisor. The best advise I have ever received from a mentor is, "don't let imposter syndrome set in. Believe you've got this and don't be afraid to admit you don't know."
Had to hit that like button to get us from 999 to 1k
Man... At the 7 minute mark my first thought was "that's what your number 2 is for" and then Jocko said it!
3:30 I think what Echo said here about imposter syndrome went past Jocko
The student that asks a question that they would have known if they’d read the syllabus
There absolutely is such a thing as a stupid question, and that is a question that shows that you haven't been paying attention.
@jockowillink @echocharles 3:32 and later you talk about those in authority often lacking nuance. Therefore they gain no respect. Proverbs 12:16 -“A kind-hearted woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth.” - If a woman can gain respect for her kindness and use of nuance gaining herself respect how much more can a man? Ruthless men without nuance gain wealth and no respect. A kind-heart who recognizes the art of nuance can receive both respect and wealth. Vs. 17-“A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself.” Vs. 18-“The wicked man earns deceptive wages (wealth without honor) but he who sows righteousness reaps a sure reward.” Make no mistake, using nuance, sowing kindness, cost you; Time, energy, sacrifice. The reward is surely respect from those who are of good soil. Great podcasts guy. Thank you Clayton Whitfield of Little Rock, Arkansas for putting me on.
Hey Jonko, Western Digital or Seagate?
Fail forward fast! Learn by failing, but be quick about cleaning up any messes on your journey. No one has it all figured out, so give yourself a break and realize that you are just learning.
best advice when learning math too
Great advicechty
JOCKO
No one has a Divine Right to anything. You've either earned it or you Didn't.
Mmm, close, but not quite. This is why we dont speak in absolutes...because theres always an exception.
The exception? Life. You have a divine right to life. Along with that (in america) you have the bill of rights.
Doesnt apply everywhere. But your logic here, falls apart.
My 2c.
Firghtening Truth Have you ever heard the phrase “freedom is not free”?
That is the truth. And the phrase implies that the rights you believe are “guaranteed” can be taken at any moment of complacency.
Making those rights, not exactly Divine.
@@stevehoover4730 yea, sure. Except being alive, in itself is god given. Regardless of however you would like to frame the issue...
If you want to argue deterministically, I suppose youh could make the argument that "what about abortions?"
Yet you stilk couldnt prove it isnt god given. Even when your life is taken, you cant prove one way or the other whether that was fate.
So the argument there is futile.
As for the rest of it...sure, it can be taken away.
But only if we let it.
I run away from that imposter shit. Gotta be honest
4.35 Great advice - ask questions ... but don't ask questions you could have found out yourself.
Grand Pod Boys !! Greta thinks it's Great as Well ! Cheers SiRs