65% percent of black men in the middle class or higher. If they are living with their mom you're probably fishing in the wrong pond in terms of age and possibly social class.
I feel as long as women keep giving casual sex/ shacking up, there will be no reason for men to get married. Women kind of play a part in men not wanting marriage.
Yess, it’s contributing to non committal men because they are always on the prowl for something more exciting. And a lot of “Christian” men seem to think God’s commands to celibacy and waiting until marriage don’t apply to them. I think a lot of women are starting to demand better which is hopeful.
Yes indeed but let them have ol loose booty and that way we stay safe from liars, cheaters, whoremongers,std's, disease free, and a whole lot of other things cause we know what their end will be. Praise God for his coverage 🙏🏾
Yes Sis this is so very true, I've gotten myself involved sexual with this man on my job and I knew better to go through with this situationship and now am feeling bad . I've told him I don't want to do this anymore with him he's not understanding what's wrong with me now. For me to have been listening all this time to Bro Tony videos for the pass 3 years I knew better. Bro Tony will be very disappointed in me to know I've been abstaining for now 3 years after my boyfriend Died just to get on my back again. Please pray for me. 🙏🏾😢
Correct. With the invention of No Fault divorce and women filing 75% of divorces. It makes sense that he is hesitant to give away 50% of his lifes work.
So true people to immature in there actions as well the moment a little problem show up they read to throw in the towel and start to check outside the home for comfort and then it all goes to hell in a hand basket
@@Darling_Youcancallme I can see it from both sides. It’s majority of men that are being taken for everything they have built but it happens to women as well. If it’s built together then they should get half. If he/she is coming in built already it’s not fair for that man or women to take half and sometimes anything at all if no children are involved. There are always exceptions to the rule.
This was such a genuine and true word right here. People just keep looking, looking and looking and the person that could be the one is right there in front of them. We're making things more complicated than it needs to be. Thanks for this video.
@@merlinsvdd I don't think anyone should give up hope. Just work on being your best self, be in your purpose and get out into the world and live life doing what makes you happy. Work on yourself and be more social. If you've already counted yourself out, then it won't happen.
Well, i have learnt at a Singles Getaway that you are not a waiting room. Make the most of your life and if your future hubby comes along, its an added bonus for you.
This is an accurate breakdown. Moving from being single into a relationship and having to consider another person's lived experience is a challenge a lot of people are not ready to face. 💯 Relationships take work and outside temptations are around every corner. 💪🏾
A problem in our society today is the view of marriage. Marriage is not a contract but a covenant. I believe until we teach our children the sacredness and absolute necessity for marriage and family as a priority we will continue to see the fruits of broken families; poverty violence and hopelessness . Men and women, especially those of color, like myself, we are losing without both parents. People as a whole must learn sacrifice perseverance loyalty love for God, self and one another. Stay Blessed
I don’t think women can force a man to change. That puts an undue burden on women for men’s actions. God can turn the hearts of men how he chooses. So if anything, men have to turn their hearts back to God and get in order. Women can hold themselves accountable by not entertaining foolishness but that’s basically it.
Great message! I think if a man shows you he is content with being single and you desire to be married, then it's best to go on with your life and wait for God to send you your husband.
Very insightful Tony. A lot of people out here are looking for perfection. It’s one thing to have standards, but if someone is looking for perfection, it will never be found.
yall swear up and down people hate black hair and skin one day and have systems in place against them THEN the next day people lined up outside to date blk people lmao
Yes I agree , sister should be more open minded to other however smart sisters knows if they want quality others they MUST know how to reduce masculine energy and increase the feminine energy that we ALL have.
I only date out now! I currently live in Dallas (well traveled) and the last 2 black guys I went out on dates with couldn’t hold a conversation and never even been out of Texas🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️Both were in their late 30s.
I needed to hear this today - not just concerning my relationships but my career, where I'll relocate to - everything. Lord help me to get out of my own way, make sound decisions, take action, and trust you. Lord help me to be a praying woman who will keep things simple and be prayerful.
This is so true bc I was so perplexed as to how I could overlook so much about this person but he wasn't as willing to overlook my flaws!! This provided some understanding for me. THANKS
Wow! This video was very real and honest. Too many people being overly picky about the partner they want. For this reason I try to evaluate and ask myself am I putting more focus on my preferences rather than my standards. Standards over preferences.
These type of men you are referring to will struggle to find their person or a compatible woman to be with because this man keeps looking for what they can't find. You can't find perfection because it doesn't exist. Sounds to me that these men need to fix their relationship with God so they can recognize that woman when she walks into his life! Until then, he needs to work on himself. ✌🏽
Tony, I went to Hawaii and one day went to a farmers market. The first stall I came to had a fruit from Jamaica called Otaheite apple, it looks like a red pear. I was excited to see it but instead of buying it I said to myself, if she has it for this much, there may be another vendor with better ones cheaper. So I went all through the market looking and did not see anymore. So, I made my way back to the first stall I came to and low and behold they were sold out. I was so mad at myself, I felt so stupid and greedy, I was beating myself up. That was 1982, I still remember the lesson learned. 😂
All I know is don't force nothing on a man (he's not ready for or don't want), especially a marriage. In doing so, you'll be seen as a beggar and treated as such. Simply put, it just won't end well.🙏🏽
Are you saying if he doesn't want to marry you, you will continue to be with him? You will continue to fornicate with him, you will continue to be just a girlfriend, a lady in his life and that's good enough for you? Are you saying you will allow him to cause you to be in sin for the rest of your life by defiling your temple and are you saying you never wanted to be married to the guy you are having sexual contact with or you ain't ready to be a wife? This is not about forcing a man to marry you it's more about if you're good enough for him to lay you on your back then why not do in honor and marriage and be pleasing in the sight of God? Being seen as a begger might be better than being seen as a fornicator or thirsty or better yet just a hookup at least he knows you ain't around for just a good time and who's ending is the lake of fire 🔥 forever and ever. As long as he can lay down with no expectations from you he's good but what about you?
@@wandataylor3227 Wow, you're saying all that off of what I wrote?😕Every woman has her own journey. She'll have to answer to herself & her Creator. And whatever mistakes we've made, we can forgive ourselves (& others) and do better. Go throw your stones and self-imposed condemnation somewhere else.🤨😒
This goes for men to. I left my fiancé because I repeatedly told him I didn’t want kids & he said he wanted to get me pregnant to tie me down to him 👀.
@@jewelsafire6844 it's only questions that might sound like judging but it's actually thought provoking, just maybe it might open her eyes to see she deserves better than what she is getting but it all starts with her seeing her worth and how much she has to offer to the right man. Sometimes the truth has to be put in the raw straight up no chaser. Peace and Blessings
A lot of men are being raised by single mothers who have shown them by their actions that marriage is not necessary. One of my single nieces has 5 sons aged 4-17, and they have seen her with several men, live with different men, have them by different men, etc. without them seeing that marriage is needed and knowing that being a husband is a goal. Yes, the jury is still out, so I will have to wait and see if they will marry despite what they have been shown by their mother and the men in her life. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
It is universal now. Men from all different cultures are avoiding marriage. In Italy, the MARRIED mothers coddle their sons so much that they prefer to stay home and not get married. For others, it is just to expensive to maintain a wife and family.
Elaine, I agree with you completely because whatever a man sees displayed in front of him he’s going to expect once he is out in the dating field/ world in general. And when they meet a woman that expects more they’re not going to know how to deal with her at all. I know from my standpoint I expect a lot from men and they disappoint a lot.
One thing I have noticed is that women state they want the truth, but when they get it from a man, they actually argue it down or completely doubt the validity of what a man says! It’s the strangest phenomenon I’ve ever seen. Thank you Mr. Gaskins and God bless you and your family 💕!!
You are so right Tony mindsets are different, that is why trying to rationalize between men and women in ways of thinking is not possible. Men and women don't think alike, men and women don't act like we are not alike. You have to learn to deal with each if you want marriage to work because marriage is like a job you have to work on. So Work On It AMEN💞
This is a powerful message, yet it makes me sad because this message will go over so many heads... I will pray that he who has an ear, let him hear in Jesus name. 🙏 I'm learning prayer is the most powerful thing I can do.
This was a really useful discussion for me to listen to as a woman. The analogy of choosing the seat you find is really a thing. This has me evaluating whether there were good seats I passed. Thanks, Tony.
So tired of this topic. I am 58 yo, 5’10, 128lbs, former model, look 10 years younger than I am. Many of the men my age are overweight, hair loss, want sex(as if!!) and think they deserve beautiful women, lol. Bored w them all. I’m just making more money and enjoying my own stress free company.
I blame the hot girl summer women who give it away to any man and makes most men not want to settle down with the women that actually want a life partner :( these hot girl summer women make it easier for men to not have to commit just to get some action from time to time
Tony, you are right I’m used to being single, I like to have the money right out to buy the things I want. And so on, there are other intricate details I look for in a man that I’m not willing to look pass.
Dude you nailed it! I got divorced five years ago and at first being alone bothered me, but after a while I got used to it and now the very thought of me being in a relationship just makes me feel awkward. I found inner peace and I kind of feel like if I brought a woman into my life, there would be a risk of her ruining it.
Thank you Tony for your teaching. These men comfortable being alone are not alone. Yes living in their own home, sexing various women, dating for any events they want; sports, opera, the met, holiday parties. This is closer to the truth…. But, me I’m focusing on mastering my God given calling! 🎉🎉❤️
I THINK THATS ONLY FOR AMERICAN BLACK MEN..A MAN FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY WILL MARRY QUICKER THEN THE AMERICAN BLACK MAN. I HAVE WITNESS A FEW WOMEN WANTING TO BE MARRY BUT THAT FRIEND WANTED TO STAY SINGLE N REAP ALL THE BENEFITS WITHOUT COMMITMENT..SO THEY WAND UP MARRYING SOMEBODY FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY.
I've heard that Joyce Meyer's story/joke before. I see that from men being impossible to please. I've experienced it from men who like me but still want something more than what I have going on. I am now getting to the age that men who rejected in past years, went on to find their "dream girl" because maybe she had longer hair, was a little slimmer, etc are now divorced from that woman and want to try to get with me again. I feel a way about that. One part of me is like "if you didn't want me then, don't want me now".
Men aren't marrying because women are letting them get away with acting like man-children. Storytime: One of my friends was just telling me about a guy we knew from high school. He is currently living with his girlfriend of 3 years in her PARENTS house! He is almost 30. He dropped out of college and hasn't had a job since then. He will never marry her but he continues to use her and cheat on her with another mutual acquaintance we know. He is extremely unattractive, not even a little bit good looking. This is the kind of stuff women are letting men get away with. Why would they want to get married? They are okay dealing with low hanging fruit women.
This seems very accurate. I can see a situation where men who have their act together have been single for a long time aren’t as willing to compromise. I have dated older men and that’s why they prefer younger women, if they date at all. Younger women are more malleable and will adapt to the man, so he won’t have to. It is what it is
GOD Bless Tony to you and your Wife & Children and Ministry. I really respect your sincere manner as well as your teaching gift while simultaneously you're teachable as well.
Tony please make the dating app!!!!! This is something I'll be willing to pay top 💲 for. This is the void we need filled. Screened candidates (on both women and men, dating with coaching and process of holding people accountable to avoid ghosting without a legitimate explanation.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom! So many grown men have such low emotional intelligence this type of mentality does not register with them! I had a man who I was loyal to, honest, trustworthy, and tried to help him grow and because I wasn’t the “beauty queen” he envisioned he betrayed me and lied to me and threw me away like I was nothing! I even changed for him for the better and I got the worst of him instead!
👂 the wisdom in this video 👏 👏 I haven't met the one yet, bt yet this video helps understand key points abt choosing and accepting, and yes we women are quicker to accept a mans stank, while they be picky...❤️💙💜💚💛🧡
When it comes to leadership, authority and accountability go hand in hand. No one wants to sign up for a deal where they are fully accountability for something but don’t have the authority to enact the changes that they think will bring about success.
Tony another great video🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 you keep hitting the nail on the head !!! I watched the video 3x's 😂. You are right, change is hard but it goes back to God and a person spiritual foundation; are we trusting God, are we walking in faith, are you in alignment with God or the world seeking the right qualities? If so, it should not be hard. Society has made relationships, dating, and marriage challenging from being uncompromising, unrealistic expectations of perfection to making butt and beauty king and lord, dating 10 people at one time is the best route. And "coaches" "relationship experts" and individuals using their platforms (not you) to tell folks the opposite of God and folks are listening to them. Many men are looking at the outside forming a decision and running with it without getting to know the women inside. Or willing to talk, pray, or faith things out. Society has so many conditioned at the first sign of a disagreement that person is not who God has for you so replace them expeditiously. The story of the airplane and flight attendant was 🎯. The story about the woman going to stage 6 and end up with nothing brought tears to my eyes because hearing it out loud is disgusting. I am single and waiting to be found. I am woman of God and educated-- in progress to graduate with my master's degree in December. Honest, loyal, affectionate, considerate, and emotional available, intelligent, and appropriate. I work out and wellness minded. I work and love my job, tenured employee of 9 years. I'm in Marietta, Georgia and live a quiet life...I don't drink, smoke, or club. I know my worth, have Godly morals, values, and standards. This year I've decided to step out more and enjoy life with hopes to be found while doing so all while trusting God. I don't pick and choose with a false positive, expectations of perfection because I'm not perfect. Today society is so consumed with looks, status, likes, looks, and materialistic things that fade away or can change in one disaster, transaction, or unfortunate event. Father God thank you for fresh patience and wisdom today. Thank you for fresh perspective and a childlike faith. Thank you for positioning me and placing me at the right place, right time, with the right people to be found. Thank you for placing me on your single son's mind, heart and in his plans. Reroute our thoughts, correct our sight, and guide our minds from seeking perfection and if at any time we get in our own way as you bring us together guide I'll steps and our stops. Give him the faith to know he will find me and me the patience I will be found. Let us not move out of desperation, frustration, temptation but keep our trust in you. In Jesus name, Amen ✝️🙏🏾
That's because they don't know they are in sin and they will not get into the kingdom of God so if they keep fornicating they will die in sin, this will only mean something to anyone who truly loves God and know what the bible says about formication and how God feels about sin against the temple AKA your body..
Not me Tony G. all natural. Don’t want the fake because the good treatment received will be fake to. Good Morals is what is hard to find. Men come a dime a dozen. Keep preaching on lil brother and stay blessed!! ✌️
Divorce is a major factor for men. The laws are not in a man's favor. They don't want to lose what they have worked for and have to pay alimony and child support. And a lot of woman are the ones filing for divorce. Outside of biblical reasons many men don't see the benefit in marriage.
@@drmvp21 lmaooo nah u just want to date people out of your league and they have been told by society to profit off their looks at every turn even in their own marriage. If you dated someone you yolk with I'm sure this would not be an issue
@@Speakup117 that not true at all. Women of all demographics are divorcing men not just pretty ones. What a disingenuous argument. Out of my league? If they are out of their league how did they get married to them? The real issue is that as women become more educated and earn more money they don't need men for what their main traditional gender role is which is provision and protection. They don't need men for anything other then sex because financially they don't need men. If anything it's the women shooting out of their league due to social media and why you see tons of videos of women saying men don't approach and no on wants to date them. You know why?? Because men who are genuinely attractive and have options aren't settling for average women. And average women all want the best guys because all their basic needs are met in modern society. Even traditional conservative religious women are divorcing. No one can be spared, I don't care how good u pick them. The reality marriage is no longer till death do us part. And that's ok but men are going to start acting Accordingly and sadly women will suffer the most.
I must admit I have been extremely picky! I have learned the relationship with myself (God) determines my choices & outlook on life. Confidence is attractive! I am 5ft 4, & have attracted & dated quite a few men over 6ft (Celebrities etc etc) However I remain "baffled" why over 6ft is so desirable. Personally I find men under 6ft sexier 😅😅😅❤(UK) This cld be broken up in all little pieces but a fit is a fit (grace).
I have a guy whose got about level 4? High pay job, easy on the eyes, etc. Yet he's got a drinking problem, has a temper, has cheated in the past, and def jealous/dominant personality. Whew. All this said I think I just answered my original own question, Should I marry him? 😅
Growth REQUIRES you to be uncomfortable. And most of these single comfortable men are not growing whatsoever and it takes a woman (bless her heart) to put their passion and purpose into fruition. And that’s sad. They’re single because women can no longer afford to put them first. They need to wake up collectively because the work needs to be done within.
Yep. My ex told me the same thing. That I inspired him to grow and become better. Then he blamed me for stressing him out. Had to let that go. He wasn't happy being uncomfortable to grow. Now he's happy still living with his parents at 30.
A lot of single men are having too much fun being single, noncommittal, unemotional, living with their moms, and not wanting any responsibility.
100 💯 💶 💯 AMEN....VERY COMFORTABLE INDEED...
BIG FACTS
65% percent of black men in the middle class or higher. If they are living with their mom you're probably fishing in the wrong pond in terms of age and possibly social class.
EXACTLY 💯💯💯
@@tjf8066 Middle class and higher doesn't make him a MAN.
I feel as long as women keep giving casual sex/ shacking up, there will be no reason for men to get married. Women kind of play a part in men not wanting marriage.
You hit the nail on the head. That is the problem.
Yess, it’s contributing to non committal men because they are always on the prowl for something more exciting. And a lot of “Christian” men seem to think God’s commands to celibacy and waiting until marriage don’t apply to them. I think a lot of women are starting to demand better which is hopeful.
Coming from a 32 year old man.
Yessss!!!
Yes indeed but let them have ol loose booty and that way we stay safe from liars, cheaters, whoremongers,std's, disease free, and a whole lot of other things cause we know what their end will be. Praise God for his coverage 🙏🏾
Yes Sis this is so very true, I've gotten myself involved sexual with this man on my job and I knew better to go through with this situationship and now am feeling bad . I've told him I don't want to do this anymore with him he's not understanding what's wrong with me now. For me to have been listening all this time to Bro Tony videos for the pass 3 years I knew better. Bro Tony will be very disappointed in me to know I've been abstaining for now 3 years after my boyfriend Died just to get on my back again. Please pray for me. 🙏🏾😢
My brother in Christ Tony! This is for coffee for you and Mrs. Gaskins. Have a blessed week🙏🏾
Marriage isn’t the “problem” it’s the people in the “marriage” for those that keep using divorce as a excuse for not marrying.
Correct. With the invention of No Fault divorce and women filing 75% of divorces. It makes sense that he is hesitant to give away 50% of his lifes work.
Divorce is a sin...
EXACTLY 💯 ITS THE HABITS.
So true people to immature in there actions as well the moment a little problem show up they read to throw in the towel and start to check outside the home for comfort and then it all goes to hell in a hand basket
@@Darling_Youcancallme I can see it from both sides. It’s majority of men that are being taken for everything they have built but it happens to women as well. If it’s built together then they should get half. If he/she is coming in built already it’s not fair for that man or women to take half and sometimes anything at all if no children are involved. There are always exceptions to the rule.
“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised” -Proverbs 31:30 💛☺️
Finding a man who does , truly is near impossible esp w/ abstinence.
Yes! Amen!
@@travelchannel304 Keep the faith and don’t get weary in well doing! 💛
@@joniquetionne girl you are beautiful!! If that’s you in your profile pic, your husband is BLESSED ❤
@@ninagrace-lee8323 THANK YOU!!! Bless your heart ☺️💛
This was such a genuine and true word right here. People just keep looking, looking and looking and the person that could be the one is right there in front of them. We're making things more complicated than it needs to be. Thanks for this video.
Ye, the longer they wait the less likely it is that they'll get married.
Oh yes. I have resigned to the fact that i probably won't get married at all.
@@merlinsvdd I don't think anyone should give up hope. Just work on being your best self, be in your purpose and get out into the world and live life doing what makes you happy. Work on yourself and be more social. If you've already counted yourself out, then it won't happen.
Well, i have learnt at a Singles Getaway that you are not a waiting room. Make the most of your life and if your future hubby comes along, its an added bonus for you.
@@merlinsvdd yes!💕
This is an accurate breakdown. Moving from being single into a relationship and having to consider another person's lived experience is a challenge a lot of people are not ready to face. 💯 Relationships take work and outside temptations are around every corner. 💪🏾
A problem in our society today is the view of marriage. Marriage is not a contract but a covenant. I believe until we teach our children the sacredness and absolute necessity for marriage and family as a priority we will continue to see the fruits of broken families; poverty violence and hopelessness . Men and women, especially those of color, like myself, we are losing without both parents. People as a whole must learn sacrifice perseverance loyalty love for God, self and one another. Stay Blessed
Well said! 👍👏 Agreed!🤔🙏🇧🇧
Agree totally 💯
Well said...
Amen!!!!
Men are getting away with all this BS bc women are not requiring them to step up. Women are the prize!!
I don’t think women can force a man to change. That puts an undue burden on women for men’s actions.
God can turn the hearts of men how he chooses. So if anything, men have to turn their hearts back to God and get in order. Women can hold themselves accountable by not entertaining foolishness but that’s basically it.
Nobody Is the prize...
Why is that a woman’s job? Men need to take accountability for their actions
GOD IS THE PRIZE. God is love
Absolutely!!! 💯 🎯 🎯 🎯
Great message! I think if a man shows you he is content with being single and you desire to be married, then it's best to go on with your life and wait for God to send you your husband.
Tony the wives-to-be are here, we just aren’t everywhere else sometimes😅😂lol
Very insightful Tony. A lot of people out here are looking for perfection. It’s one thing to have standards, but if someone is looking for perfection, it will never be found.
If I could give you 1000👍I would have
💯🎯
Agreed!!
I think blk women will fair well if they give 'other' groups a chance.
yall swear up and down people hate black hair and skin one day and have systems in place against them THEN the next day people lined up outside to date blk people lmao
Me too
Yes I agree , sister should be more open minded to other however smart sisters knows if they want quality others they MUST know how to reduce masculine energy and increase the feminine energy that we ALL have.
Uh…amen!🎉🔥
I only date out now! I currently live in Dallas (well traveled) and the last 2 black guys I went out on dates with couldn’t hold a conversation and never even been out of Texas🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️Both were in their late 30s.
My husband is a leader is a lover is a provider
It goes both ways. Thank you, here's a cookie. Tony a mess 😂
I needed to hear this today - not just concerning my relationships but my career, where I'll relocate to - everything. Lord help me to get out of my own way, make sound decisions, take action, and trust you. Lord help me to be a praying woman who will keep things simple and be prayerful.
WELL IF A MAN IS SCARED HE'S NOT READY ANYWAY !!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This is so true bc I was so perplexed as to how I could overlook so much about this person but he wasn't as willing to overlook my flaws!! This provided some understanding for me. THANKS
I agree Tony! It’s not good to get caught up on appearance !
Wow! This video was very real and honest. Too many people being overly picky about the partner they want. For this reason I try to evaluate and ask myself am I putting more focus on my preferences rather than my standards. Standards over preferences.
“what’s not understood has to be explained..” and you Sir, have done an excellent job!!
Someone's personality can make them look beautiful or ugly.
These type of men you are referring to will struggle to find their person or a compatible woman to be with because this man keeps looking for what they can't find. You can't find perfection because it doesn't exist. Sounds to me that these men need to fix their relationship with God so they can recognize that woman when she walks into his life! Until then, he needs to work on himself. ✌🏽
Absolutely!!
They want a God fearing only fans woman ❤ that’s why
Tony, I went to Hawaii and one day went to a farmers market. The first stall I came to had a fruit from Jamaica called Otaheite apple, it looks like a red pear. I was excited to see it but instead of buying it I said to myself, if she has it for this much, there may be another vendor with better ones cheaper. So I went all through the market looking
and did not see anymore. So, I made my way back to the first stall I came to and low and behold they were sold out. I was so mad at myself, I felt so stupid and greedy, I was beating myself up. That was 1982, I still remember the lesson learned. 😂
All I know is don't force nothing on a man (he's not ready for or don't want), especially a marriage. In doing so, you'll be seen as a beggar and treated as such. Simply put, it just won't end well.🙏🏽
💯
Are you saying if he doesn't want to marry you, you will continue to be with him? You will continue to fornicate with him, you will continue to be just a girlfriend, a lady in his life and that's good enough for you? Are you saying you will allow him to cause you to be in sin for the rest of your life by defiling your temple and are you saying you never wanted to be married to the guy you are having sexual contact with or you ain't ready to be a wife? This is not about forcing a man to marry you it's more about if you're good enough for him to lay you on your back then why not do in honor and marriage and be pleasing in the sight of God? Being seen as a begger might be better than being seen as a fornicator or thirsty or better yet just a hookup at least he knows you ain't around for just a good time and who's ending is the lake of fire 🔥 forever and ever. As long as he can lay down with no expectations from you he's good but what about you?
@@wandataylor3227 Wow, you're saying all that off of what I wrote?😕Every woman has her own journey. She'll have to answer to herself & her Creator. And whatever mistakes we've made, we can forgive ourselves (& others) and do better. Go throw your stones and self-imposed condemnation somewhere else.🤨😒
This goes for men to. I left my fiancé because I repeatedly told him I didn’t want kids & he said he wanted to get me pregnant to tie me down to him 👀.
@@jewelsafire6844 it's only questions that might sound like judging but it's actually thought provoking, just maybe it might open her eyes to see she deserves better than what she is getting but it all starts with her seeing her worth and how much she has to offer to the right man. Sometimes the truth has to be put in the raw straight up no chaser. Peace and Blessings
A lot of men are being raised by single mothers who have shown them by their actions that marriage is not necessary. One of my single nieces has 5 sons aged 4-17, and they have seen her with several men, live with different men, have them by different men, etc. without them seeing that marriage is needed and knowing that being a husband is a goal. Yes, the jury is still out, so I will have to wait and see if they will marry despite what they have been shown by their mother and the men in her life. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
It is universal now. Men from all different cultures are avoiding marriage. In Italy, the MARRIED mothers coddle their sons so much that they prefer to stay home and not get married. For others, it is just to expensive to maintain a wife and family.
@@SimplyRed11 I don’t have the universal or personal data to support that. What is your source? I’ll google it later.
Elaine, I agree with you completely because whatever a man sees displayed in front of him he’s going to expect once he is out in the dating field/ world in general. And when they meet a woman that expects more they’re not going to know how to deal with her at all. I know from my standpoint I expect a lot from men and they disappoint a lot.
@@tlashai9902 Thanks! Some women are raising the very men they are complaining about.
Yeah, the men talking out of both sides of their mouth! Never settle… 🎉
Every time I listen to you, I’m tickled stay educating others and speaking the truth. May god continue to lead your life.
One thing I have noticed is that women state they want the truth, but when they get it from a man, they actually argue it down or completely doubt the validity of what a man says! It’s the strangest phenomenon I’ve ever seen. Thank you Mr. Gaskins and God bless you and your family 💕!!
Go away
@@baqiahlimmy1141 you first 😂!
You are so right Tony mindsets are different, that is why trying to rationalize between men and women in ways of thinking is not possible. Men and women don't think alike, men and women don't act like we are not alike. You have to learn to deal with each if you want marriage to work because marriage is like a job you have to work on. So Work On It AMEN💞
This is a powerful message, yet it makes me sad because this message will go over so many heads... I will pray that he who has an ear, let him hear in Jesus name. 🙏 I'm learning prayer is the most powerful thing I can do.
If us women closed our legs the marriage rate would be through the roof. Sad but Very simple
Tony your gift is truly a blessing as you keep it real. It's tight, but right.
This was a really useful discussion for me to listen to as a woman. The analogy of choosing the seat you find is really a thing. This has me evaluating whether there were good seats I passed. Thanks, Tony.
This GONNA BE GOOD, I already know from this title
So tired of this topic. I am 58 yo, 5’10, 128lbs, former model, look 10 years younger than I am. Many of the men my age are overweight, hair loss, want sex(as if!!) and think they deserve beautiful women, lol. Bored w them all. I’m just making more money and enjoying my own stress free company.
I pray billions here this before we miss out on our blessings. Thank you Tony for this. God bless you & your family. 🙏🏾
I blame the hot girl summer women who give it away to any man and makes most men not want to settle down with the women that actually want a life partner :( these hot girl summer women make it easier for men to not have to commit just to get some action from time to time
Tony, you are right I’m used to being single, I like to have the money right out to buy the things I want. And so on, there are other intricate details I look for in a man that I’m not willing to look pass.
Dude you nailed it! I got divorced five years ago and at first being alone bothered me, but after a while I got used to it and now the very thought of me being in a relationship just makes me feel awkward. I found inner peace and I kind of feel like if I brought a woman into my life, there would be a risk of her ruining it.
Thank you Tony for your teaching. These men comfortable being alone are not alone. Yes living in their own home, sexing various women, dating for any events they want; sports, opera, the met, holiday parties. This is closer to the truth…. But, me I’m focusing on mastering my God given calling! 🎉🎉❤️
I THINK THATS ONLY FOR AMERICAN BLACK MEN..A MAN FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY WILL MARRY QUICKER THEN THE AMERICAN BLACK MAN. I HAVE WITNESS A FEW WOMEN WANTING TO BE MARRY BUT THAT FRIEND WANTED TO STAY SINGLE N REAP ALL THE BENEFITS WITHOUT COMMITMENT..SO THEY WAND UP MARRYING SOMEBODY FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY.
I’ve noticed that as well
Yup the best men and black men in particular that COMMIT come from different countries. Top tier
I've heard that Joyce Meyer's story/joke before. I see that from men being impossible to please. I've experienced it from men who like me but still want something more than what I have going on. I am now getting to the age that men who rejected in past years, went on to find their "dream girl" because maybe she had longer hair, was a little slimmer, etc are now divorced from that woman and want to try to get with me again. I feel a way about that. One part of me is like "if you didn't want me then, don't want me now".
You are such a blessing! I thank God for you and your wife and your ministry!
Homosexuality
🤣🤣🤣🤣
What about it?
Facts the gays say most black men are BI they would know
Yeah… some men not wanting a woman….
Girl that too lol 😂
Men aren't marrying because women are letting them get away with acting like man-children.
Storytime: One of my friends was just telling me about a guy we knew from high school. He is currently living with his girlfriend of 3 years in her PARENTS house! He is almost 30. He dropped out of college and hasn't had a job since then. He will never marry her but he continues to use her and cheat on her with another mutual acquaintance we know. He is extremely unattractive, not even a little bit good looking. This is the kind of stuff women are letting men get away with. Why would they want to get married? They are okay dealing with low hanging fruit women.
Whew!!!! No way that could be me but I've witnessed women who accept similar circumstances.
Well that’s the parents fault allowing that man to live with them
Low hanging fruit women 🤣🤣🤣👍🏼
@healedandfreeinjc1973 What does that make the men? Especially the black ones....
@@cobhead1986 i know right?
Facts the devil is on the prowel.
This seems very accurate. I can see a situation where men who have their act together have been single for a long time aren’t as willing to compromise.
I have dated older men and that’s why they prefer younger women, if they date at all. Younger women are more malleable and will adapt to the man, so he won’t have to. It is what it is
And they have more years to waste if they don’t plan on marrying her.
GOD Bless Tony to you and your Wife & Children and Ministry. I really respect your sincere manner as well as your teaching gift while simultaneously you're teachable as well.
Happy with my peace and everything I built, nothing wrong with that!
Excellent observation in both the natural and spiritual sphere
Tony please make the dating app!!!!! This is something I'll be willing to pay top 💲 for. This is the void we need filled. Screened candidates (on both women and men, dating with coaching and process of holding people accountable to avoid ghosting without a legitimate explanation.
You really do a great job of breaking it down. I’m 2,inches from the growth club, lol
The title should be, 3 Reasons Black men Aren't Marrying,
Love this message, thank you Tony. 🙏🏽
Lawd look at God! I was just waiting on you 😂 was watching old videos and all
@@wonderfullyrenee lol me all day today
Sis me too as well been watching old videos
Thank you for sharing your wisdom! So many grown men have such low emotional intelligence this type of mentality does not register with them! I had a man who I was loyal to, honest, trustworthy, and tried to help him grow and because I wasn’t the “beauty queen” he envisioned he betrayed me and lied to me and threw me away like I was nothing! I even changed for him for the better and I got the worst of him instead!
Why should a man get married if 20 females are more than willing to do anything he needs each and everyday with no commitment
20 women wannabe fools. That’s on them.
Yeah, so sad… once we women learn to NEVER settle! Glad men are commenting!
👂 the wisdom in this video 👏 👏 I haven't met the one yet, bt yet this video helps understand key points abt choosing and accepting, and yes we women are quicker to accept a mans stank, while they be picky...❤️💙💜💚💛🧡
This was a good explanation for us women who are learning the depths of men.
When it comes to leadership, authority and accountability go hand in hand. No one wants to sign up for a deal where they are fully accountability for something but don’t have the authority to enact the changes that they think will bring about success.
I love love love your channel... So much practical advice... Thank you Tony ...
Well TONY , I SUPPORT THAT. I can 🆘 U start up a The Christian Blessins Dating page SMILES 😁. Startin with ME🥰 TEST IT OUT✌️
😒but it does go both ways....just kidding😂.....thanks for always coming on with great insight and information 🙏🏾👏🏾
This was very eye-opening and informational. Never thought of it with the flip to men. So true!
Tony another great video🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 you keep hitting the nail on the head !!! I watched the video 3x's 😂. You are right, change is hard but it goes back to God and a person spiritual foundation; are we trusting God, are we walking in faith, are you in alignment with God or the world seeking the right qualities? If so, it should not be hard. Society has made relationships, dating, and marriage challenging from being uncompromising, unrealistic expectations of perfection to making butt and beauty king and lord, dating 10 people at one time is the best route. And "coaches" "relationship experts" and individuals using their platforms (not you) to tell folks the opposite of God and folks are listening to them. Many men are looking at the outside forming a decision and running with it without getting to know the women inside. Or willing to talk, pray, or faith things out. Society has so many conditioned at the first sign of a disagreement that person is not who God has for you so replace them expeditiously. The story of the airplane and flight attendant was 🎯. The story about the woman going to stage 6 and end up with nothing brought tears to my eyes because hearing it out loud is disgusting. I am single and waiting to be found. I am woman of God and educated-- in progress to graduate with my master's degree in December. Honest, loyal, affectionate, considerate, and emotional available, intelligent, and appropriate. I work out and wellness minded. I work and love my job, tenured employee of 9 years. I'm in Marietta, Georgia and live a quiet life...I don't drink, smoke, or club. I know my worth, have Godly morals, values, and standards. This year I've decided to step out more and enjoy life with hopes to be found while doing so all while trusting God. I don't pick and choose with a false positive, expectations of perfection because I'm not perfect. Today society is so consumed with looks, status, likes, looks, and materialistic things that fade away or can change in one disaster, transaction, or unfortunate event.
Father God thank you for fresh patience and wisdom today. Thank you for fresh perspective and a childlike faith. Thank you for positioning me and placing me at the right place, right time, with the right people to be found. Thank you for placing me on your single son's mind, heart and in his plans. Reroute our thoughts, correct our sight, and guide our minds from seeking perfection and if at any time we get in our own way as you bring us together guide I'll steps and our stops. Give him the faith to know he will find me and me the patience I will be found. Let us not move out of desperation, frustration, temptation but keep our trust in you. In Jesus name, Amen ✝️🙏🏾
You are SOOO blessing us with wisdom! God bless you!
Relationship is for ownership, servitude, compromise, and tolerance at the end of the day. You’re never your self only someone else wishes
Don't nobody care that men aren't marrying. Some women don't want to get married
That's because they don't know they are in sin and they will not get into the kingdom of God so if they keep fornicating they will die in sin, this will only mean something to anyone who truly loves God and know what the bible says about formication and how God feels about sin against the temple AKA your body..
Marriage is optional
I know I don’t & I don’t want any kids with them either the “good ones” are just as bad as pookie & Ray Ray
@@wandataylor3227find a cliff not all women are sleeping around
@@CoCo-yv3hl Exactly, not having kids either
Not me Tony G. all natural. Don’t want the fake because the good treatment received will be fake to. Good Morals is what is hard to find. Men come a dime a dozen. Keep preaching on lil brother and stay blessed!! ✌️
Very informative uncle Tony. Thank you always!
Thanks for being transparent
Video title= They can’t afford it
That's definitely one of the reasons. That's why most couples split bills now.
That’s the big fact on top of maternal issues
But they can afford only fans, paying for seggs and supplying their addictions? No excuses.
You spoke NOTHING but the truth in this video…a good example of “men stuck in their ways” - especially when they’re older.
Blessed Sunday to you 👋🏽
Most Of Them Are With Each Other.. 👀
You are saying a lot of great things in this video!
This is an amazing breakdown
Divorce is a major factor for men. The laws are not in a man's favor. They don't want to lose what they have worked for and have to pay alimony and child support. And a lot of woman are the ones filing for divorce. Outside of biblical reasons many men don't see the benefit in marriage.
BS, get a prenup
@@Speakup117 yea like most women will agree and like it would actually hold up in court. Men aren't delusional about marriage like women.
@@drmvp21 lmaooo nah u just want to date people out of your league and they have been told by society to profit off their looks at every turn even in their own marriage. If you dated someone you yolk with I'm sure this would not be an issue
@@Speakup117 that not true at all. Women of all demographics are divorcing men not just pretty ones. What a disingenuous argument. Out of my league? If they are out of their league how did they get married to them? The real issue is that as women become more educated and earn more money they don't need men for what their main traditional gender role is which is provision and protection. They don't need men for anything other then sex because financially they don't need men. If anything it's the women shooting out of their league due to social media and why you see tons of videos of women saying men don't approach and no on wants to date them. You know why?? Because men who are genuinely attractive and have options aren't settling for average women. And average women all want the best guys because all their basic needs are met in modern society. Even traditional conservative religious women are divorcing. No one can be spared, I don't care how good u pick them. The reality marriage is no longer till death do us part. And that's ok but men are going to start acting Accordingly and sadly women will suffer the most.
I must admit I have been extremely picky! I have learned the relationship with myself (God) determines my choices & outlook on life. Confidence is attractive! I am 5ft 4, & have attracted & dated quite a few men over 6ft (Celebrities etc etc) However I remain "baffled" why over 6ft is so desirable. Personally I find men under 6ft sexier 😅😅😅❤(UK)
This cld be broken up in all little pieces but a fit is a fit (grace).
Smart men!😊👍
Because they can live with a woman without marriage and she will have his kids too with no commitment so why would they marry.
This was a good video.
Look at you 😊paying cash 💰 for a “new” vehicle ❤
Yes thank you, again.
You blessed bro!!!!
Amen!
I have a guy whose got about level 4? High pay job, easy on the eyes, etc. Yet he's got a drinking problem, has a temper, has cheated in the past, and def jealous/dominant personality. Whew. All this said I think I just answered my original own question, Should I marry him? 😅
This is amazing! Thank you🙏🏽
Lord this so true
Great video. Thank you.
Yea, this exactly how it goes
Emotionally Unavailable
Only wants to hold himself down
Grown Boys and Fun Boys
That was Joyce Myers Sermon. It was one of the jokes she told before she started. All the women were laughing because it had a lot of truth.
Growth REQUIRES you to be uncomfortable. And most of these single comfortable men are not growing whatsoever and it takes a woman (bless her heart) to put their passion and purpose into fruition. And that’s sad. They’re single because women can no longer afford to put them first. They need to wake up collectively because the work needs to be done within.
Yep. My ex told me the same thing. That I inspired him to grow and become better. Then he blamed me for stressing him out. Had to let that go. He wasn't happy being uncomfortable to grow. Now he's happy still living with his parents at 30.
“Here go a cookie”🤣🤣🤣 im weak
Great message
You are right
Thanks!
I’ll tell you why, you can give someone a house you don’t like at all without marrying them lol
So it’ll take a miracle for men to settle down 😅I think hitting the lottery is more realistic lol