The scariest service dog denial I've ever experienced…
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- Опубліковано 27 вер 2024
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I'm Molly, a typical sushi, makeup, and fashion loving millennial girl who just so happens to be blind! I was diagnosed with Retinitis Pigmentosa at just 4 years old and began public speaking at age 5. I started just doing motivational speaking, but now I make videos and even model! Even though I can’t see, I know that there are bright spots in everything we face. Let’s find them together. 💕
I cannot believe they opened the door. I cannot believe that. That is so terrifying. I am so sorry that happened
The intersection of disability and being a woman really truly needs to be addressed more
Most hotels unfortunately have the rules of knock first, if you don't get an answer, you may go in. Atleast for housekeeping, etc.. not to mention for "welfare checks" as well. This sucks, but I agree that they should have called her room first before just coming up to the room.
@@nataliedomon8969when they knock. They announce who they are. They don't just t knock. Yes. If there was an emergency. Going in is fine. This was not an emergency.
@@Dan_Sgambelluri While this might not be an emergency for the guest themselves, this actually could have been an emergency or urgent for others in the building, especially if Molly or those who booked the room or checked in with her did not inform the hotel that she was a service dog user.
There could be staff or other guests who happen to have severe allergies to dogs, the dog (who if not told was a service dog, because unfortunately it is not uncommon for people to sneak their pets and animals into hotels) could cause severe damage to a room or staff or other guests if left unknown or unchecked (and honestly security was dumb to even risk going into a room with a potential animal in it. Calling the room and knocking on the door to check is fine, but not walking in when an animal can be potentially left alone in an unfamiliar environment can be so dangerous... That being said if it wasn't security checking, it could have possibly been an unsuspecting housekeeper who was just changing out the towels and trash bins), and hotels need to go through not only proper licensing, but a very strict approval process to allow pets (that are not service animals) to even be on the premises of a hotel to the point in where the hotel could get sued by other guests for allowing a dog to stay at the hotel. If they are unaware that there was a pet in the room, then the hotel is at risk if the next guest arrives and has allergies or health complications because the room wasn't cleaned to the standard that it should have been for one that contained pets (There's often different cleaning protocols like more focus on cleaning fur off of the floors and furniture that is different from cleaning up after humans).
That still doesn't make this situation right. That security individual handled that whole situation extremely poorly. You call the guest multiple times, you knock multiple times, but you do not go into that room. If the guest has an animal in there, it's not worth the risk. It's less risky to charge the guest after or not refund the security deposit if evidence of an animal has been seen inside of the room (obviously this should be waived though as soon as it's mentioned that someone has a service animal). That's why it's so so important to inform the hotel. The staff are often overworked and are not mind readers, not to mention many hotels will even accommodate those with service animals if they can! For example in my resort, we try to move all people with service animals to the more expensive and comfier pet friendly property we have, or keep them closer to elevators or exits, or walkout units. If someone does complain, then they can be moved elsewhere (especially if they suck as a human being and know it's a service dog user, but are complaining anyways. They can be inconvenienced, not the person with the dog).
It's still incredibly unfortunate what happened to Molly, especially with the escalation after telling the security person it was a service animal. Honestly... there's a very good chance it wasn't even a licensed security guard because of how they reacted. Not only have I grown up and even currently work in the resort industry, my partner works in security and they should know about and be trained on service animal accessibility. Not every hotel can afford hotel security, so "security" often falls onto untrained individuals who really shouldn't be posing as security guards.
TLDR: This whole situation could have been avoided if people didn't assume the hotel was or would be aware that Molly had a service animal, and actually communicated with hotel staff before or at check-in that she had one. Hotels have strict protocols and unnotified pets can not only be a problem, but even dangerous to others. "Security" was still wrong in how they handled it though and Molly suffered because of the failings of many people.
@@nataliedomon8969 ...but not for this? They can't just go into your room for any reason they want. You have a right to reasonable privacy.
Having a dog is also no reason to remove them, they can charge the card on file an extra pet fee and/or for any damages/extreme messes that housekeeping finds after they leave. That's the point of putting a hold on your card when you check in.
Moreover, hotel security doesn't fμck around. If he had really intended to escort them out, he wouldn't have left. He just wanted to go on a power trip and scare the little blind girl, it's gross.
I work at the front desk of a non pet friendly hotel and am also a service dog user. This video makes me want to go to my upper management to make sure this would never happen to anyone because we do send security to the room if we do not have record of a service dog in the room. Thank you for sharing.
I hate what all these denials have turned me into. I can feel myself tensing up, getting flustered, getting angry, meanwhile my rational side is telling me to remain calm, speak pollitely, educate, be a good representative for the assistance dog community... But my inner twelveyearold wants to scream "I shouldn't have to advocate for myself like this you bloody ableist idiot!"
"you bloody ableist idiot!" should be screamed more! but then we are the mean ones sadly
Your inner 12 year old is right, you shouldn't have to advocate for yourself like that :( people in the service industry should have to be educated on rights of service dog users
@@katie6384 it should be standard. Half the places ive worked had it in there videos and the other half didnt and it makes me mad on others behalfs. I go out of my way to educate others ive even cut off other coworkers from speaking and corrected them. No one should have to stand up for there rights and i wont allow it infront of me. Maybe its my big sister energy but i just put myself in others shoes and id hate to be treated like that
@@Scarletlight525 it’s disgusting how we’re treated for our disabilities. Can’t exactly say reacting has worked out well either… seems like however we respond we’re the problem.
Does reporting these businesses to BBB help? Maybe leaving reviews so others can be prepared? Bad press seems to be the only language they understand when the letter of the law isn't understandable to them
I am so angry at that hotel staff just hearing this story. Thank you for sharing.
As a woman who travels alone for work (and whose company usually books) I have had instances of opening my room and there being a man I dont know in there (double booked?) or being booked somewhere less safe than I would have booked for myself. I know this is a different situation, but having anyone ANYONE break into your room when you are in there as a young woman is terrifying. Something that I and many of my female colleagues use that helps is a portable metal door lock (the kind with a metal plate that fits into the door strike). I know it wasnt the situation (your mom was coming back and maybe you want people to be able to come in and access the room if you have an emergency) but if you are ever feeling anxious or unsafe about sleeping in a hotel it is a thing that helps
Also please use things like the Do not disturb signs often available at hotels! They're usually on the handle of the door on the inside or in the closet somewhere.
I honestly would be weary of using any device that locks people out of the room entirely. If it's an accidental double booking, then most reasonable people would notice the DND sign and ask front desk what's up. If there's an emergency or a reason why someone needs to get into that room, those things can be dangerous or can cause serious damage to the door/room if it needs to be broken into for any reason (like a fire, flooding, ect).
If you travel frequently they have these small door gadgets that you can carry with you and shove under the door to prevent it from opening. Sadly opening up doors on people in hotel rooms seems to be common place
@@3amhellbeast it’s pretty easy to break these if you’re security/fire dept/etc. It helps make security hopefully knock a few more times (giving you more opportunity to wake up/actually hear them), prevent hospitality from waltzing in, prevent double booking walk ins, and deter anyone trying to break in that isn’t committed enough to risk being seen messing with the thing or drawing attention from an alarm
He should have NEVER been able to go into your room.... OMG. How scary. What if you where naked? If I was that manager of that person I would have fired him on the spot and given you your money back and groveled at your feet to forgive the extremely inappropriate behavior of the staff.
I'm not going to defend this guy at all, he definitely made a huge 'mistake'! However, it's actually surprisingly common for hotel maintenance, housekeeping, and security to enter rooms often without the person staying there knowing. They never will enter a room unless if it's for good reason, like requested maintenance or some kind of severe issue that can't wait (for example if a room flooded on the floor above and they need to check for water damage). In this case, animals smuggled into a non-pet friendly room or hotel is kinda one if those cases. Hotels need permits to be able to legally allow animals in them and well as more intense cleaning and safety procedures. This is waived for service animals, but the hotel needs to know that otherwise they can get into trouble if another guest complains about a dog on the premises if it's supposed to be a pet free establishment.
Staff should always call first and that's it. If they have to enter a room then they knock (which they did), and it's kind of assumed that if no one responds to a 2nd knock, then the room is empty. They also did the right thing by yelling in the room to announce themselves. That being said, if there was a dog that wasn't a service dog, entering the room was not the smart move and could have gotten them hurt if the animal was aggressive. As soon as Molly explained the dog was a service dog, security should have backed off and left, apologizing and explaining that no one explained or told the resort that the room had a service dog user in the room (mistake on manager/Molly for not doing that so there wouldn't be a miscommunication in the first place. Even if it seems obvious, front desk is a busy and hard job! Taking a few seconds to notify them would have stopped this entire situation from happening...)
They will not enter a room if there is a DND (Do not disturb) sign on the door, though, unless if in a true emergency. Whenever I stay at a hotel, that goes on my door and never comes off!
@@3amhellbeastsmuggling a dog is not one of those cases.
No response at a knock with no announcement at 8:30 am shows that the person is sleeping.
If Molly told the front desk she has a service dog. Everyone else doesn't know she has a service dog.
@@Dan_Sgambelluri It is unfortunately if it's unknown that the animal is a service animal. People sneak their regular (and even completely untrained) pets into hotels all the time, but this can actually be not only a risk, but a huge danger to individuals in the hotel, the room/property, and even the pets themselves. I'm heartbroken that Molly had to go through this scary situation, but it was 100000% avoidable had not only herself but the many people around her hadn't failed to assume that the hotel knew she was a service dog user and informed hotel staff of her dog either before arriving to the hotel or when checking in.
If someone doesn't notify the hotel even if it seems obvious, then the hotel has to prepare for the worst. The worst being an untrained animal left in an unfamiliar room alone who could potentially be reactive or hostile. If an animal that was allowed to stay on the property and was known about but ignored by staff, and if it attacks or harms another human on that property, the hotel is held liable for it. There's also the issue of how some people can have allergies or health complications from animals too, which the hotel would also be held liable for (and potentially even shut down btw because in order for hotels to allow non-service animals even on the premises, they have to have not only the right permits, but go through many years of meetings, agreements, establishing security and cleaning protocols, ect beforehand). Not notifying the hotel is also a problem even if it's a service animal because cleaning protocols after any animal is in a room is different, and if the next person in that room has an allergy or health complications due to improper cleaning then that still falls on the hotel.
If someone informed the hotel (likely front desk) that there was a service animal in the room, then yes, all staff would be notified about it so as not to cause any problems for the service dog user in that room or when they are on the property. Most hotels (and I would assume ones in New York of all places) have ways of alerting and keeping staff up to date on things like that. Security (or in this case someone likely posing as security if I'm being honest) would not even enter a room or even call or bother the guest had someone at front desk even left so much as a sticky note on their file or in their database mentioning the room had a service dog user in it. Security would have stopped at front desk which is where every issue such as this one should pass through before bothering a guest.
That being said, I highly doubt the "security" person was a trained security guard. They are trained on not only how to handle the public and keep a situation calm and deescalated, but they are trained on service animals and what their rights are. Unfortunately most hotels either can't afford proper security, or they choose not to hire one due to the rarity of needing one. This likely was someone posing as a security guard which is why the situation didn't end at "This is a Service Dog" when checking the room (or honestly before then by calling the room multiple times through the day before entering it to "check").
As a small note, I've grown up in and currently work in the resort industry (my resort has both a non-pet friendly and a pet friendly property, so I'm also pretty familiar with the differences in the laws and legalities between the two. Not to mention the struggle of trying to make one pet-free building turn into a pet friendly one to the point in where it was so difficult and a 10 year fight that it had to be given up on). My partner is a licensed security guard and has been one for years.
@@3amhellbeast imo they're told here is an animal inside. and they let themselves in not knowing ANYTHING about the animal if its friendly if its a protective dog or a service dog. it is vastly more dangerous for them to walts in rather than get authorities or just wait if they refuse to open the door. she should've got him for harassment and sued the hotel for discrimination and Gross misconduct emotional damages and made them pay for the next hotel cause the way the security acted woulda made me feel unsafe in their establishment.
@Dan_Sgambelluri actually it's the guests job to put the latch and do not disturb sign on. It's not your home and you don't own the room. Workers are entitles to enter for necessary purposes like room cleaning and maintenance. They always are required to knock and annouce themselves, and its always during the hours of 8-4pm to ensure privacy hours. When there is no response the assumption is no one is in the room. Your comment shows you don't understand hotels. Of course her trauma is valid but the man likely had no malicious intent so people framing it that way are not informed.
I think every service industry should have training in this kind of thing, the laws etc. It should be part of their job training. I can’t imagine how scary that must have been.
In an ideal world, yes. The reality is that turnover in the service industry is so high they barely bother to train them on the minimum they need to do the job.
Yes! Every job when you first start has those boring orientations. Talking about work place politics and whatnot, they all 100% should include laws about this!
It would be so simple to go over the "commonly asked questions" section of the ada website and that's pretty much all they'd need to know. Corporations aren't sued often enough for discrimination for them to care. Most people just let it go because the alternative is too much work/money
It should be written on your state ID. Then there is no question and no heartbreak.
They do. Business owners need the training. They’re the ones who don’t know. Businesses have put up with enough. The majority are ‘emotional support’
I would like to see guide dog users to do a class action suit against rideshare companies who permit drivers to refuse customers with service dogs.
I'd recommend looking into Guide Dogs for the Blind's work on rideshare denials. Perhaps one day it will come to a law suit.
I'd agree with you, but the rideshare drivers--who usually own their cars--are worried about how an animal will behave. And every driver has cleaned up puke from drunks and other messes. Their other concern is liability, if the next passenger is allergic to that animal.
Offer them solutions to cleaning, damage, and allergies, and they won't be so fast to fight.
@@lyfandeth it doesn't matter about that. When they sign up to rideshare in their personal cars, their personal cars become public spaces. Uber or whatever company should be covering that with insurance of some kind. That should absolutely not be something a disabled person with their service animal should come up against. Its the LAW.
I believe the U.S. Justice Department has an active investigation. May also need stiffer penalties for refusal... Like make it a criminal offence for the individual driver to refuse the service animal. Sadly, stiff fines or even jail time may be the only language the drivers understand.
Uber and Lyft (at least in the US) don't allow drivers to deny because of a service dog. They usually cancel because emergency so unless the driver specifically says it's because of the service dog before denying, you can't really do anything about it. Dunno about other rideshare companies tho
I am fully sighted, and *I* was feeling terrified and emotional and unsafe during that story!!! Thank you Molly, *so* much, for sharing this!!!
Same, literal nightmare scenario
Same, I would go into shock.
As someone who is legally blind listening to you tell the story, I completely relate to your fear and your distress in that moment. I would have totally freaked out. People do not understand the vulnerability in that moment when you cannot see.
It's so important for people to hear these stories, and see how it impacts individuals with a disability. Thank you for having the courage to share this difficult experience. ❤️😎🌴
As a disabled person, I’ve never understood why it’s treated like our responsibility to be fighting and explaining 100% of the time DESPITE the fact that we’re going through more than the average person, and on top of that, also told we can’t complain!
Why is it not a businesses responsibility to educate their employees and understand the LAW? Why isn’t there representation in TV shows (except specific ones), advertisements, PSAs, build-boards, etc? Why isn’t it taught in school? Why isn’t it considered basic decency and human kindness?
And when we get tired of fighting and need a break, we lose, because companies get to fire us for our disabilities but get to act like it’s another reason. Why? Why??
At the BARE minimum, I want disability education to be mandated in schools. We learn about many other minorities and how their lives have been affected across history, why not learn about the minority that will affect most people at some point in their lives (even if it means they’re only disabled while on their deathbed)? It’s been 30 years since the ADA and only the bare minimum has been done. More education needs to be passed.
To do that you need more disable people to be in power and in the decision rooms. Non disable wont fight for disable people. Non autistic wont fight to get accommodations for autistics, etc. Disable people have to be the once making the laws, be in the corporate world, have business, educate their staff etc. My mother is in a wheelchair, she has been for 23 years. Nothing has change in that time. Just on Saturday we went to a restaurant, a fancy one, and she couldn't use the toilet. She had to go to Walmart to do so. >_> IS sad. Disable people would benefit from having their own disable country and make everything accesible.
Agree ❤ it boggles my mind too that many many people are affected and would benefit from what you suggest. If all these people got together to demand change it would be un-ignorable. ❤
@@ZairaBandy good point...in Australia there's an awesome awesome disabled member of parliament @jordonsteelejohngreens This human is a brilliant blessing to the world ❤ and started really young! Goals ❤ (noting everyone has their own degree of capacity)
Couldn't agree more!
@@ZairaBandy
If only there was a way for disabled and neurodivergent people to unionise
I'm sighted but have PTSD from being violently assaulted by a man. Having someone come into my hotel room like that would be very triggering and would cause an anxiety/panic attack as well as a medical episode from my physical disability. I do not answer knocks on my door while alone if i'm not expecting someone.
The only situation where that is appropriate is if they had suspicion someone was being violent or harmed in the room, not over a service dog. Whoever reported Gallop saw him his in harness with a very obvious guide handle and I'm sure you mentioned you were blind at reception if they required a signature or tried to hand you something. You deserved a lot more than two free breakfasts, you deserved an apology from the staff member who traumatized you.
@@UnknownTimeLord I agree with you on all points other than being confronted by the person who traumatized you a second time. That's really not a good idea. An apology won't undo their trauma
Please don’t apologize for letting your emotions out. That experience was awful and should never have happened to you. Please don’t ever stay at that place again.
While I am not blind but I am physically disabled so I feel vulnerable in public especially when someone challenged me, and I try to explain and placate the person who questioned whether I am truly disabled. I became a social worker for 20 years to advocate for the disabled community.
I would be absolutely horrified to have someone walk into my room. My heart started pounding as you told the story!
Oh Molly, it broke my heart to listen to this story but this is one that needs to be told! You are shining such an important light on injustices that people with disabilities face every single day in this world! You are helping to change the landscape, so as much as it hurt you to share this very scary and very painful memory, know that it is not for nothing! I'm so sorry this happened to you! Sending you such a warm and loving hug! 💓
I can totally relate to experiencing this transition in emotions. That at first you are very confident in explaining but then because of the reactions of people around you, things change overtime. I'm 31 years old with a painful condition in my left leg that started when I was 26. I was working at a chemical site at the time that had really long distances to get to my office. My manager arranged a bike for me that I could use to move across the site. Because biking I was still sort of able to do. And then one time one of the security people started accusing me of actually not needing the bike. He claimed that a few weeks was enough for me to recover that I should just start walking on site again just like everybody else. And that he was tired of having to explain to other people why I was able to ride a bike on site while they were not. Meanwhile almost 6 years later I'm still struggling with even more mobility issues now. That experience also changed me, including some other experiences that I've had where people are denying you those things that you really need to not be in pain or to get around and be safe. Like your guide dog is for you. A disability is hard enough by itself. We don't need other people to come in and make it even harder.
Are security people the bottom of the totem pole at a lot of jobs?
@@tobes..they act they have absolute power.
Worksites need to train their workers better for ADA accommodations! When someone has a permanent accommodation, the workplace needs to let employees know that this has occurred. It shouldn’t be up to the person to let coworkers know this!
One of the more confrontational denials I experienced was during vacation when I was in an unfamiliar city, and when that happened, desperately seeking advocacy, I contacted the ADA's local office and they were very kind and helpful. They spoke on the phone with the hotel management, and they offered to further that communication and to send someone to the hotel in the future to discuss accessibility at the Wolf Lodge resort where we experienced such rude treatment. ❤ If you ever experience something like this, just know that the ADA is there to help advocate for disabled Americans. Love you, Molly
Don't know how people especially in service and hospitality industry aren't aware of the laws regarding service animals. Though it's not helpful for those abusing the system claiming a service animal when it's not. That only hurts those that really need these services.
I stay in hotels when I travel for work and have been living in apartments for years. I have run into staff and maintenance that come into my space without even 30 seconds notice at the door. I don't have a visual impairment and I still feel icky and an invasion of privacy in those moments - especially as a woman by herself.
Not being able to see and being half asleep during that moment must have been so scary! Thank you for sharing your stories and educating us all Molly!
My disability is my adhd and have worked in very in accommodating places. Advocating for yourself can be scary and exhausting. Don’t beat yourself up over not pushing things further with the hotel. You did what you felt comfortable doing at the time.
That first situation would have scared the crap out of me and I am not blind. I can’t imagine how much worse it was for you. I’m so sorry you had that experience, how awful.
Some situations are just about caring for yourself, no matter what the options are. I am so proud of the work you choose to do to help prevent others from having as many of these stories. May you always be one of the first to see the kindness and knowledge of service animals that you spread reflected back on you.
What a horrible and traumatic situation to be in! I am so sorry you went through that Molly. Thank you for sharing this and educating people and probably making some people feel less alone. You are so brave.
I truly appreciate your ability to articulate the trauma and shame you felt in this really awful situation. As someone who has never faced this trauma, it’s easy for me to distill “service dog denial” into a really sanitized and oversimplified version of what it really is, like “the restaurant denied my service dog, so I had to go find somewhere else to eat” … as though it were an inconvenience and not an experience that can truly change someone. I understand better now; thank you for that.
I dont see how the security guard's actions are legal.
it's not!
Hey molly, just want to let you know that the rest of us who arent disabled do not look at you as " a complainer" or anything of the sorts, we actually feel shy when we complain about things that we take for granted. thanks for being such an inspiration.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I am not disabled but as a sexual abuse survivor, I can relate to the fear and 'hopelessness' (not sure if it's the right word, sorry) you felt at that moment. I, too, never pursued legal action for the exact same reason. I had to tell my story so many times to so many different people that when someone finally asked 'Do we call a lawyer? Do we call the police?', I could not say yes. It was too hard, and it actually still is. I was too traumatised. I don't think I would have healed as I have if I had brought my abuser to justice. Which is actually terrifiying and awfull, when you think about it. I have immense respect for people who find the strength to do so, speak about it publically and face the person who made them a victim. I can't. But, as you said, Molly, maybe one day. Right now I don't hide, I don't deny what happened to me and I try to help the people around me as much as I can. Thank you for sharing this story. ♥
As someone who is also disabled, was in a deeply dependent situation, and experienced a deep trauma from a “security person” thinking who believed his position authorized him to treat me as less than a person, and has now established a deep PTSD response when I am in similar environments or situations- I see you. I have a shared sense of reality, and this is advocacy. I’m sorry for what you went through, and the fact you choose to face it every time you go out, not knowing if there will be another denial.
Thank you for bravely sharing your story. I would be happy to connect privately and share mine.
That’s terrible!! I’m so sorry you dealt with that. That “security guard” acted like you had a weapon, harming someone or something else serious. They should have called. You sharing your story here is good to let others be more aware about this and to know what to actually do right/legal way.
In person apology from the manager with guarantee they will change their procedures in order to protect future service animal users. That is the only acceptable answer. Also, WTF are they doing sending a male security guard into a room with two women. Send a female security guard or have a female employee escort him.
I'd love to hear your other stories when you're ready. I masked a brain injury and multiple chronic pain conditions for decades, and I'm just learning to unmask and claim my life as a disabled person. I want to hear everyone's stories about why they deserve accommodations! It's easier to justify them for myself when I can see that others clearly deserve them. Thank you for being so vulnerable!
I'm so horrified about the vulnerability in the situation and I don't know if abled people understand that feeling? The most concrete things that have happened to me include getting physically hurt AT A HOSPITAL because of my disability. I was an in-patient at a hospital and when lunch was served I turned it down because I had a severe migraine with aura, including dizziness/vertigo and nausea. Except the migraine, I have selective mutism (at that time quite severe but not complete) so I managed to mumble my answer, but not explain properly. One staff member then pulled me up from my bed and when the vertigo and pain hit (the pain would escalate if I only moved my head slightly), I fell down on the floor. She then told another staff member to help to carry me to the lunch room. This situation happened several times during the weekend, one time they literally grasped my clothes and I was hanging like a rag-doll with the bottoms of my feet not even being in contact with the floor. They told me "well, you'll have to take that up with the doctor on monday, because we've been told that you must eat".
Although I know I DID try my best to explain about the pain etc, I definitely couldn't defend myself either physically or verbally. Although the aura made the lights flicker and gave me vertigo, I still had (and have) all my 5 senses (mostly) functioning, so even though I couldn't speak I was at least aware of the physical surrounding etc. I'm just so horrified about that first situation when, as you said, you couldn't see and you were in a completely new environment and a man just entering and threatening you... it makes me SICK to think about. I imagine the staff might seriously not have understood how freaking traumatic that would be when you're adding the vulnerability to the situation. I hope stories like these helps us as a society to be more aware of different perspectives and how actions that oneself wouldn't think being "that bad" actually can be a very traumatic situation. ❤
hospitals can be horrible places at times.
You don’t think able-bodied people ever feel this kind of vulnerability, really?
@@hiddenhand6973 that's the point! If able bodied people feel vulnerable, and they do- you could just imagine what a disabled person is going thru. So imagine your stress level, then, times it by 100.
@@hiddenhand6973 Yes I do, but most of the time it will be more obvious to others when explaining a bad/traumatic event or situation, because most people can relate more easily. For example only the part where a security guard enters your hotel room while you're alone and half asleep is horrible enough, especially if you percieve it to be "a large man" and you feel you're inferior in some way. That's horrible enough by itself. But when Molly's adding the fact that she is blind, it adds a new layer that will not be AS obvious to everybody. Because OBJECTIVELY it wouldn't matter in that situation if she could see or not (if the dog were another kind of service dog), because he didn't actually lay hands on her as I understood it. But subjectively it matters A LOT, because she had to be scared of things that most of us probably wouldn't think of in the moment.
I will say though that any extra vulnerable addition to any story is not some exclusive aspect that only disabled people are allowed to use, neither for people with any type of diagnosis or other reasons. But belonging to a "group" makes you more aware of the difficulties that others in the same group face, even though they aren't the same as yours. In this instance it is the feeling of being uncapable to either understand or act in a way that most people take for granted (which I was referring to if abled people would understand). So no, I don't think MOST able bodied people feel this KIND of vulnerability, but it differs between individuals.
Oftentimes (from my own experience and hearing other disabled people describing similarly) many able bodied people seem to only/mostly consider the most concrete facts of an incident, and not understand that deeper level of vulnerability. For this example thinking/saying "well you were actually able to speak to him, so it wouldn't be any different for a blind person compared to what I or others would experience".
But again - vulnerability is not something exclusive to disabled people, no, and there are MANY other aspects where I'm sure I can't personally relate, and take things for granted that others (or you) sadly can't
💔
@@robbymonaco3738 I agree! (but of course there are other reasons than disabilities to become more vulnurable) Even though I have no personal experience of every single disability, I still think it's easier for me (and other disabled people more so, compared to the general public) to relate, because I/we have experienced that added layer of being uncapable of things that others take for granted. Like when I share my experiences to others, able bodied people usually respond with "why didn't you just..." or "well that's happened to me and I just did (whatever)", suggesting things that they take for granted but I am LITERALLY UNABLE to do. While people with other disabilities/illnesses seem to be far more likely to understand that extra level of vulnerability in those kinds of situations even if it isn't something their own disability would affect (and I've heard other disabled people describe the same phenomenon)
That's why I'm so thankful for Molly's story and other stories that she and lots of other people are sharing (disablilty related or not). She deliveres this with such emotion that it helps me and hopefully others to widen our horizons and perspectives of how different people can experience things. Disabled people speaking up is hopefully making the society become more understandning!
Molly as a deaf person I felt every emotion of every word you said.
There is another layer to being disabled that people do not realise and that we are exposed to being vulnerable... Whenn faced with trauma like this it adds to every moment, every breath where you think "Is this going to be okay!" and it is hard to feel safe again.
Sharing the following so people understand it happens more than people like to admit to disabled people/people with disabiliies.
While not hotel, I once had my husband's ex landlord walk in on me while I was asleep in his bed (he had left me there as I wasn't well) and the landlord was showing people around. (He said he knocked) - I wouldn't have heard this. He still showed the people around, (Three people while I was in bed) - Very confused.
Since this day I find it hard to sleep in places that isn't my own home (doors locked) - Chair in front of door (So make some form of "mess" that I would be aware off.)
Your experience sounds double scary, sounds you need to get this out and honestly you have my support and more to raising awareness... Anything I can do... share / like videos / support what you do and sign things I do so in a heartbeat.
Molly I love your videos, makes me smile and be that little more braver myself to face everyday. Makes me feel less alone in this world.
@emclemmiecreativemuse7283 wow,i'm so sorry. showing people around while someone is in bed is just disgusting. i have been treated similarly, with people ignoring boundaries, and i cannot imagine the same or worse happening to someone with a disability.
Molly, I hope you know how much you have done for the disabled community to improve the experience for those who come after you. You have gone above and beyond for our community, and you continue to do so. Your representation has bettered the lives of the disabled community beyond words. I have a Service Dog, and I'm grateful that I have not experienced anything near what you have, as backward as that sounds. But it's because of the work that you have done. I can not thank you enough. And thank you for opening up and sharing your experience so others can learn, and hopefully make some positive changes. You're an incredible and beautiful woman, Molly 🤍🐝
Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope there are managers out there who would consider showing this to their workers to help create change both within their workplace and the community.
You're so strong. That sounds so scary, I have no words for that hotel staff.
I am so sorry you experienced this. Thank you for sharing and most of all for speaking up and speaking out.
that story sounds so scary!!! As someone else who has a lot of dissociative amnesia, I can't even imagine how scary someone just entering your hotel room would be, let alone someone who sounds like a large scary guy.
Sending you love and thanks for sharing this with us, even though it's hard for you. It's so important to see the real impact of the ableism!!
These are terrifying and awful experiences. Especially the first one.
I live in the US but am Canadian. Whenever I travel back to Canada is when I get access.issues! My program trained guide dog is a standard poodle however which I think does make some people question her validity simply off of breed.
I'm sorry these happened to you. Access issues are always very stressful and scary. I don't mind people asking us questions to make sure we are a valid team but people screaming at you to leave are a completely different animal.
Yup me too my guide dog school does standard poodles and I have a standard poodle and people get really weird about it
That is because poodles are, same as retrievers, very intelligent and trainable dogs. It is awful that you get treated differently just because your guide dog is not what they expect to be. The only important physical criteria for a guide dog is the size. For other assistance dogs even that is not important. Everything else is the personality.
You are such a genuine lovable person, and I love your videos. You never deserved that kind of treatment. You deserve the same treatment as any fully sighted person. Wishing you the best
Molly, don't apologize for your emotions. It is your wright to have them and show them and talk about them. In that way such expiriences became less stressful in time. It's allright to cry too. After crying you feel relieved. Love from Slovenia. Vanda
It's good that you shared this. Thank you Molly. You are brave. You've paved the way.
I can relate/appreciate, even though my disabilities can't be seen on the outside.
It is so awful when you knew your legal rights, but were so stunned and exhausted and confused, that all those "rights" didn't do you any good. Those situations are extremely helpless and lifelong.
That sounds so terrifying. I'm so sorry you had to go through that
Your story is absolutely terrifying. I am deaf with low vision and limited mobility. I have used a service dog for 15 years. I have had some but not a lot of service dog access issues but I have had a fair amount of communication access issues (“so sorry, we couldn’t find a sign language interpreter for you”). I have used lawyers several times to help me advocate for myself. I’m very sorry this happened to you.
I was shocked that you mentioned three stories in the beginning, as going into traumatic memories like this is very difficult. I am so outraged that you were treated so badly, I can't imagine how scary that was for you.
I'm so sorry this happened. It sounds really scary. What that guard and the hotel did was unacceptable. ❤
It really kills me how some people bring their misbehaving pet in to grocery stores and shops just because. It takes away from the credibility of service dogs.
Doesn't matter. Still no reason to deny a service dog.
I've never seen pets disbehaving in stores. Children? Yes. Adults? Also yes.
Molly, please don't apologize for getting emotional. This was legit trauma! That is not easy to process or deal with and it is absolutely beyond fine and of course understandable to be upset! I have so much empathy for you and I am truly SO SO sorry that you experienced this! I can imagine how awful and scary it must have been. For what its worth I agree with the male voice in the video who was saying it should be illegal to enter without warning or whatever. Totally! So scary, and so, so inappropriate! May you heal from these experiences so that you don't have to carry this feeling of anxiety and unsafe-ness anymore. I am sending you sooooooo so much love. 💞
Thank you for sharing this! I hated seeing you upset 🥺. Love you Molly you are making change in this world and what you have done has made such a positive impact! Beautiful person inside and out 💕
This is terrifying! I’m so sorry you went through this Molly ❤
Frightening situation for Molly. Grrrr!!!
Years ago, Marriott Security entered our room after other guests were assigned it too! BIG front desk error.
Thankfully we were 4 seeing people (hubby, me and 2 tiny frightened children).
Sending you hugs. That’s terrifying. So sorry that happened to you.
That would be terrifying for any woman. I can't even begin to imagine how much more terrifying that would be without sight. And barging in as if possibly having a dog in the room is an emergency...ugh...I have no words. I'm so sorry Molly.
Molly, I just want to confirm that you ARE creating change.
I just started grad school to become a therapist, and my main area of interest is body image issues - not just in terms of how we look, but also in terms of what our bodies can & can't do.
Your channel has really inspired my own interest in disability advocacy and working with disabled folks. A close friend of mine suffered a significant injury due to her mental health - while she didn't suffer any long-lasting consequences, she EASILY could have. It's a miracle that she is able-bodied today after what she went through.
Anyway, if nothing else, know that this able-bodied gal is passionate about working with and advocating for disabled folks. The disability community js the one and only minority that anyone can join, at any time. We should ALL care more about it.
The change is to have a legal document for guide dogs.
Hearing your story has my heartrate up! It does sound scary and stressful. Feelings of being stuck or not being able to do anything about something upsetting or dangerous are the strongest indicators that it will stick around as a trauma. Thank you for sharing with us molly, and i am happy you are in a place with your career and your loved ones to advocate for yourself, and all of us.
Story starts at 6:40 (Have the tissues standing by) Thanks for sharing Molly!
Having someone come into your room like that is terrifying for anyone, never mind how extra terrifying it must feel when you can't see the person! I'm so very sorry this happened to you Molly. I really hope that the hotel learnt some lessons from that and that it never happened to someone again.
Also, please don't apologise for your emotions. They are totally valid ❤❤
People who don't have deficits (including many psychologists, psychiatrists and social workers) don't understand how it can be traumatizing to get refused some form of support that we need because of a deficit. I too am stuck with trauma about that, because I became homeless in Canada winter after being fired for having asking accommodations at work (mind you I was working in a non profit adult litteracy center...). So much very bad stuff happened in consequence of that firing and homelessness (i.e. SA and more) that even "innocent" refusals for accommodation now put me in hypervigilance, flashback and nightmares for days. So I mostly don't ask for accommodations or support anymore.
Have been there in that moment of panic where you are on the verge of shutdown because you were just trying to do normal everyday tasks in public with your service dog and now you have a customer, an employee, a manager yelling screaming at you that you can't possibly be disabled and pets aren't allowed. I didnt expect all the emotions to come rushing back hearing you recount your experience. Thank you for the advocacy work you do for those that cannot, from myself and my service dog Dahlia. 💜
Ugh the uncomfortable ability to relate to it all, I’m so sad for us.
I’ve heard horror stories from friends where they get chewed out for parking close to a store (NOT in the Handicapped spots they were in regular spots) I recently got cut off from Physical Therapy by my Physical Therapist - unilaterally, mind you - against my dr’s orders, my insurance plan AND my wishes…. I have Cerable Paulsy and haven’t had PT in over a month… I’m now so scared of falling because of that, that I BARELY move at all…. (My mom and I are working on this situation)
I have a brother who has mild to moderate autism. He lives in a group home. A couple years ago, he was taken to the dentist for a cleaning. Things didn’t go well and they didn’t want him to come back. Now, he is taken to another dentist who uses general anesthesia. He is treated so much better. I’m so sorry that happen to you Molly. They need to step it up. Hugs. 🙂
that’s creepy af even if you’re a sighted person 😭 I hate that this happened
I am so sorry that you went through these horrible experiences. I hope the fact that you are such an inspiration because of what you went through and that you speak about those atrocious experiences so that others might have an easier time. You are an angel and so many people appreciate you! 🌟😇
side note; 3:56
i know exactly how you feel Molly. Like hearing stories about your life like its for the first time. Epilepsy took almost my entire memory.. and forgetting is not coping, it feels like my memory loss/dissociation took away the chance for me to work through my trauma, i feel you.
sending love.😖❤
Horrifying. I cried with you. I can’t imagine. I’m so sorry you went through that 😢
I am not blind and I agree that the first story is absolutely terrifying. I almost cried too. Probably triggered my own inner child being alone in the world trauma memories
I'm so sorry to hear this. I had no idea anyone would question whether a guide dog should be allowed!!!
I am so so sorry you had to go through that. That is awful. Thankfully you don't sleep in the buff or you weren't fresh out of the bath. That is just wrong and not ok. I pray that change does come. Thank you for advocating for that change.
Some loud guy barging into your locked room, that's terrifying, whether you can see him or not! They should have comped your room, that's awful.
As someone who worked in hotels managing front desks, I am absolutely horrified at whaf happened to you Molly. To just enter a room like that is terrifying and disgusting. I'm so grateful that you share stories like this so people can see what happens when we aren't educated about everyone's rights.
As someone who has experienced this stuff first hand? It IS traumatizing.
I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through all of this! Good for you for sharing your experience, even though it’s so hard to talk about. ❤
Here's a hug. That must have been hard. The look in your eyes and tension in your body reminded me of how it feels to reexperience a traumatic memory.
(Postscript(Anyone may respond): How fast is your screen reader? I set my Talkback speed to 90%, and I want to know how it compares to other people.)
This story broke my heart. Thank you so much for opening yourself up to tell this story. These stories need to be shared so it doesn’t happen again.
I think it's a testament to your work of the last decade (and more!) that you can make so much content about such a variety of things, including challenges and now, painful moments. It really sucks that these experiences went the way they went. I'm deeply sorry for those and I'm deeply grateful for your work and advocacy.
It is so bad that businesses deny service dogs. It should be part of every job training that service dogs aren’t pets they are medical equipment. People need to be educated on the different type of service dogs and on the questions that they can ask. A place like a hotel if someone sees a dog in a non dog friendly hotel they should call the room and ask about the dog or they can ask about the next time you walk by the front desk because they know at some point you will by the desk again. If it was another guest that said something they should have been minding their own business. If it was a staff member that saw it they know at some point someone from the room will be walking by the desk and they can ask about it then. If they see it’s taking a long time for you to walk by the desk they should have ask the manager how to handle it. They should not be trying to kick someone out that said they have a guide dog. At the very least if they wanted to send someone to the room it shouldn’t have been a man. They should have at least sent another woman there because what if you were sleeping in your underwear. I would not want a man to see me in my underwear even if I can see him.
Thank you for sharing. You ARE making a difference! I am more educated because of you, a brave stranger on the internet.
I CANNOT believe he burst into your room like that!!!! That would be traumatic to me…. I’m not disabled. I’m just a woman who would FUH-RREEK out if someone burst into my room!!!
Close the doors. Buy an extra lock to put in so they can't open the door even if they have the keys.
@@ZairaBandyhow would Mama Bee get into the room?
Molly, my brother is handicapped, eternally 7. I am the only family around in the area where he lives and I help manage his life. Advocating for him seems to be a full time job, and I do it willingly. There have been times in his life, where he had endured hardship, discrimination and neglect. I want him to have the best life possible, for the time he is on this Earth. I love him and he is special, he makes the world a better place.
I am so grateful to you, for the presence that you have in social media, for your bravery and willingness to share aspects of your life -good and bad. You are so special and truly a gift. Thank you for all that you do.
That's so scary that you went through that. And felt you couldn't stand up for yourself. I think that if that happened to anyone , regardless of being disabled, you would have been surprised if you spoke up about it. I think anyone who would have been put in that situation would have received nothing but support and love. That was wrong to do regardless of the situation.
I'm so so sorry this happened to you. Sending you a hug! I cannot even imagine 💔💓♥️
Hi, Molly. Don't be sorry. That was terrible, and this is how you feel, and your feelings should be validated, not negated. You are strong.
I'm sorry that happened to you Molly it never should happen to anyone ❤
DO NOT be embarrassed or hide your feelings about this story! I'm a sighted person so I can't fully understand your experience, but I can understand how terrifying it must have been! I have a fear as a woman and person, that someone (probably a man) is going to break into my apartment, especially when I'm sleeping. It's terrifying to even think about, and to not be able to see and try to defend myself would be even more horrifying. No person here should tell you not to be upset about it, if someone does that, they have no empathy and no sympathy for other people or understanding and you should just ignore them. Just because you haven't had a similar experience yourself doesn't mean you can't be understanding and supportive. Emotions and crying comes with trauma and bad experiences in life, and sometimes it doesn't matter how long it has been since the incident. It takes courage to post videos like this online, and I hope it will educate people and to not do this type of shit to someone else!
Thank you for being so vulnerable with us and sharing this experience. So sorry that it happen. I definitely think that the advocacy work that content creators like you have created an impact and enacted change. So keep it up.
I have traveled extensively for work and the nature of the work gave me a super messed up sleep schedule, twice in 5 years I has housekeeping enter the room while I was asleep in bed, as soon as they realized I was there, they left without trying to kick me out and I have no vision impairment. Those experiences were terrifying by themselves, left me feeling very vulnerable and without control of my own environment. I cannot imagine going through what you did.
Oh wow, thanks for sharing
Thank you for the emotional sacrifice of recording and sharing this video, Molly
Have a lovely day!!❤️❤️
We want more stories.
But please, only when you are ready.
We love you, Molly!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing this story. And thank you for not forcing yourself to share the other two today
Totally relate to the confusion and fear of being in a vulnerable state and half asleep. I have epilepsy and usually wake up from seizures completely confused, not realising I've had them and unable to control my emotions. I've usually had strangers be kind but even then it is terrifying to wake up and not know where you are and what's going on - I can't imagine how much harder that would be without being able to see. Thank you for all the work you do as an advocate and role model for living (thriving!) with disability
Molly, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. As your boyfriend said, that sounds scary.
Awwweeeee Molly!!!!!!
I don’t know how to put this into good english but awwwww … my heart goes out to you.
German girl here!
Greetings from Berlin!
I’m so sorry you had to go through this Molly. This never ever should’ve happened. You’re right in saying that you’ve created change, your honesty is changing the world❤
You always bring an important perspective to the table, and I value your influence on me personally. Seeing the world so to speak through your senses and through other's always has given me more perspective.
When I had my first service dog denial I was alone with my younger sister and we were 16 and 12 I think it was an ice cream shop he started to scream at us for having my dog it was so scary and he was telling us he was calling the cops my sister said we should go it’s not worth it