Childhood trauma affects us long after we're children. Whether you forgive your childhood bullies or not, I hope you've gotten the help you needed from your experiences to be able to move on as an adult in peace. If not, and if this video has brought back some of your feelings of trauma, I hope you'll reach out to someone. If you're in immediate danger, please call emergency services in your area. If you're experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact a Crisis Line in your area. There are people available at any time, any day, to speak with you and direct you to the resources you need. In the US and Canada: Call or text 211 www.211.org/ In the UK Text 85258 giveusashout.org/get-help/ In Ireland Text 50808 www.textaboutit.ie/ In Germany Call 0800 111 0 111 www.samaritans.org/ Australia Call 13 11 14 www.lifeline.org.au/ If you don't see your country listed, please use the search term Crisis Hotline to find help in your area.
Sadly, some of the worst bullies I've encountered have been other teachers. Adult bullies are about as low and pathetic as it gets. The damage it did to me - and the even worse impact it had on friends/colleagues, are reasons I'm studying to be a counsellor now. It takes a lot of strength to look back on the pain we've caused to other people. Beautiful performance as always, Dreamy!
Oooff.. yeah, it's hard to get past adults who are bullies. There's no excuse of having not grown into impulse control or not understanding that our opinions about people are just that.. opinions, and they don't give us the right to be unkind.
💚💚💚💚💚 Recognizing the fact that you were hurting someone and willing to change that aspect about yourself, shows you have grown as a person. I've met a few individuals who hasn't seen what they're doing was wrong and lost a lot of friends in one night plus the later years.
Not for nothin, if someone is still exhibiting the behavior as an adult, I have less patience. Forgiving children is one thing. Adults don't have the same excuses. Your friends were right to walk away from bad behavior and not accept it.
I really liked this one Dreamy! I always enjoy the audios where you take these more serious topics and sort of make it into a conversation about it. You always handle these audios with such empathy and understanding. I really respect how much thought goes into these, both writing and performing them. I can kind of relate to being in the position of the listener. I won't fully get into my experience, but I was bullied in a way in high school. She made me feel small and defenseless, so much so that I dreaded being in the classroom with her. I carry that weight and maybe it would be good to let it go, but I don't think I'm ready to forgive her yet. It still feels a bit too real sometimes. This audio really helped me to think about my experiences Dreamy. Thank you so much. Love all you do Dreamy!
One of the best audios of this type that I heard. I like how Dream make it clear that we don't own the bully anything. While I agree that as a adult is easier to understand and maybe forgive, some scars are for life. Personally, even as a adult I still deal with some issues born from trauma caused by what I had to deal it as kid.
Thank you! And same.. It took me until I was an adult to be able to look at little kids being mean and say "oooooh.. they really don't know what they're doing." But I still sometimes experience feelings that I know are a result of having too much negative reinforcement and not enough positive at an early age.
Sometimes we all have a past some dark or light I find these ones to be always interesting because sometimes people have and make mistakes to make us human I guess
Jake, you are a kind, enthusiastic, and supportive person. You're a wonderful cheerleader. I assure you, with your outgoing personality, you will not be forever alone.
I disagree. I think we overhype forgiveness too much. Forgiveness doesn't immediately erase the trauma or even dull it. Sure. For some people that can help, but for most people it doesn't do anything at all. Worst part. Is it can end up helping the person that hurt you more than it does you. Cause you've convinced them that their actions weren't bad enough. For someone to hate you for the rest of their life. So now they can go on without a care in the world. It just isn't worth it.
I agree it's not an immediate erase of trauma and I certainly never meant to imply that. And you're absolutely right forgiving a person for a behavior that's still occurring only serves to condone and normalize bad behavior, But I really do have to stand by the idea that we can forgive adults for the things they did as children. Not just for them, but for ourselves. Because spending your life holding on to anger at a middle schooler isn't a healthy thing.
I feel like after it gets to a certain point, u cant really make excuses for certain people even if they were children. I do understand that everyone makes mistakes, especially when they're children, however, some people will use their young age as an excuse to do the worst. @dreamaudiova
@@dreamaudiovafor example: once I almost fought this racist kid in 4th grade. He had a brother who wasn't racist at all and I really liked his brother as a person. The dude that I almost fought was just a d*ckhead lol. They were probably both going through some things at home, which could've been reasoning for that boys behavior, but it's no excuse. I believe in reasoning, not excuses.
As long as she has a heart, didn't hurt me as a goal and is willing to apologize, I will be willing to forgive Great work and have a wonderful day Dreamy ❤
I would only consider forgiveness if I were still emotionally invested in a person - which I definitely am not in the case of a high school bully - and only if it was clear that the person were making a clear and genuine effort towards change, towards making sure that they didn't hurt me or others in the same way again. Saying that I forgive someone that I don't know any more, someone who I have no reason or desire to let back into my life, would be meaningless. I'm not invested in them as a person, I don't want to get to know them again or experience their company. I don't have fond memories of them, and I'll still remember the harm that they did. And I can't see forgiving a memory as taking power back, because the person they were in the past did have power over the person I was when it happened. You can't compare that situation to one that involves the person I am now. Forgiveness in this situation doesn't help me heal. What does is spending time and energy to unlearn the things that the trauma made me believe about myself, and the survival techniques it forced me to adopt. Working to change myself into a person I want to be, a person that is happier in themselves, doesn't involve forgiving others, though it will involve forgiving myself. Finally, hearing a loved one tell me they think I should forgive in this situation doesn't feel good. It reduces my trust in them, tbh. And it sounds like the speaker is projecting.
On the bright side, you're taking steps to unlearn the negative beliefs and survival techniques put upon you, and forgiving yourself and working towards becoming a happier person is all good. And yeah, hearing someone suggest forgiveness in such a situation can feel like they’re not fully understanding your experience. Sometimes we need time to regroup and heal. Your feelings and boundaries are valid. Thanks for listening and many hugs, Vanastar! :)
I knew I wasn’t going to like this one because of the subject, but I really did get quite angry at all this talk of forgiveness and trying to understand the monsters own trauma. I've been traumatised plenty at home, school, work, at nearly every stage of my life; no one ever tries to help or understand the victims and I've never thought "hey, why don't I make someone else wish they'd never existed?" I had to live with two of my abusers, go to school where the only interactions I could expect were abusive, and now I work with doctors who treat me like an appliance. I know why they did it, I have compassion and empathy, that's why I was an easy target, but understanding their motivations and forgiving them their shitty behaviour won't bring back the person I was. They stole my childhood and my future and gave my self-loathing and depression in their stead. Sorry, need to calm down, sorry for everything
No need to apologize. I doubt that you are the only one that feel like that. While what I went through doesn't sound nearly as bad as you describe, I do get what you mean. The guilt of the aggressor is nothing compare with the pain of the victim. The victim is the one with the scars and the bullies will have at worse a very guilty conscience, if even that.
I'm sorry you were failed at so many levels. It sounds like you weren't just bullied by kids, but couldn't have gotten the support you needed from the adults in your life.
@@dreamaudiova Thank you both for your kind words. And yes, consistently. My family even legitimately gas lit me to the point I can trust my own judgement or experiences. Yet my dad was surprised I chose to leave for the other side of the world with my mum for a fresh start, rather than stay home with him and my little brother. Perhaps if they hadn't systematically shredded all my self-esteem I might have. It would be so much easier if I could hate them for being awful people, but they're not. They just handled their interactions with me terribly. Family, school, friends, doctors, psychiatrists, employers, governments, myself all failed me 🙃 But it's okay, because I don't matter and barely exist as a person anymore
This is very sweet but it's also kinda hard not to feel like she is projecting herself onto the other bully because she aint over her own issue's as much as she thinks 😅 she might be right about the guy,, she might be wrong, A-holes are out there his entire reason could just be * idid it because I could but now I know better*
Here is a like and comment for the story, for entertaining me, to help your channel grow, to appease the great and powerful UA-cam algorithm demons, and get you the recognition you deserve.
Then they will have to deal with the fact that they drove someone to that extreme for the rest of their lives, if their aren't a psychopath. At that point, there no chance of forgiveness or redemption for them.
"Having The Ability To Forgive Someone Is One Of The Things That Makes Us Human My Love, If We Can't Forgive Our Bullies............How Can We Forgive Ourselves." He Said.
:D I love those little monkeys! But the only one that ever sticks with me is the "speak no evil" dude. And even he ducks out to take a break every now and then!
@@dreamaudiova I like both speak no evil and see no evil kind of as a response that vibes like🤪. Hear no evil doesnt really make sense on an audio ... or maybe it makes even more sense, depend how you view it. Either way, feels wrong to seperate them.
No matter how much a bully hates their target, they hate themselves more so. Plus that thumbnail kinda looks like a bully.😄 Cool audio Dreamy! LOVED IT!!!😊💚👍
_To The Bully You Forgave Fully!_ Dreamy, you are an adorable bundle of wisdom! You make me want to pull your pigtails from behind the desk just so that I have an excuse to reach out to you. But instead, I will pull on your pinky and ask you to promise that no matter the amount of playful bullying and banter we go through that we will always fall into each other’s lap of forgiveness 🤍
Childhood trauma affects us long after we're children. Whether you forgive your childhood bullies or not, I hope you've gotten the help you needed from your experiences to be able to move on as an adult in peace. If not, and if this video has brought back some of your feelings of trauma, I hope you'll reach out to someone. If you're in immediate danger, please call emergency services in your area. If you're experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact a Crisis Line in your area. There are people available at any time, any day, to speak with you and direct you to the resources you need.
In the US and Canada:
Call or text 211 www.211.org/
In the UK
Text 85258 giveusashout.org/get-help/
In Ireland
Text 50808 www.textaboutit.ie/
In Germany
Call 0800 111 0 111 www.samaritans.org/
Australia
Call 13 11 14 www.lifeline.org.au/
If you don't see your country listed, please use the search term Crisis Hotline to find help in your area.
I'd have to agree on the trauma not leaving us when we're adults. It stinks but I'm glad there are numbers to help with this sort of thing
Sadly, some of the worst bullies I've encountered have been other teachers. Adult bullies are about as low and pathetic as it gets. The damage it did to me - and the even worse impact it had on friends/colleagues, are reasons I'm studying to be a counsellor now.
It takes a lot of strength to look back on the pain we've caused to other people. Beautiful performance as always, Dreamy!
Oooff.. yeah, it's hard to get past adults who are bullies. There's no excuse of having not grown into impulse control or not understanding that our opinions about people are just that.. opinions, and they don't give us the right to be unkind.
@@dreamaudiovaAbsolutely. Sadly, I've met a lot of so-called "professionals" who either cannot, or will not, distinguish between opinion and fact.
💚💚💚💚💚 Recognizing the fact that you were hurting someone and willing to change that aspect about yourself, shows you have grown as a person. I've met a few individuals who hasn't seen what they're doing was wrong and lost a lot of friends in one night plus the later years.
Not for nothin, if someone is still exhibiting the behavior as an adult, I have less patience. Forgiving children is one thing. Adults don't have the same excuses.
Your friends were right to walk away from bad behavior and not accept it.
Oh my gosh, this was so heartfelt, and I *loved* it. Thanks for the audio, Dreamy!
Thank you so much!
Even if the girlfriend is a bully, she has a heart. I enjoyed listening to this audio. Thank you Dream and stay awesome as always.
Thank you!
I really liked this one Dreamy! I always enjoy the audios where you take these more serious topics and sort of make it into a conversation about it. You always handle these audios with such empathy and understanding. I really respect how much thought goes into these, both writing and performing them.
I can kind of relate to being in the position of the listener. I won't fully get into my experience, but I was bullied in a way in high school. She made me feel small and defenseless, so much so that I dreaded being in the classroom with her. I carry that weight and maybe it would be good to let it go, but I don't think I'm ready to forgive her yet. It still feels a bit too real sometimes.
This audio really helped me to think about my experiences Dreamy. Thank you so much.
Love all you do Dreamy!
Thanks for listening, Frosty! :)
One of the best audios of this type that I heard. I like how Dream make it clear that we don't own the bully anything. While I agree that as a adult is easier to understand and maybe forgive, some scars are for life. Personally, even as a adult I still deal with some issues born from trauma caused by what I had to deal it as kid.
Thank you! And same.. It took me until I was an adult to be able to look at little kids being mean and say "oooooh.. they really don't know what they're doing."
But I still sometimes experience feelings that I know are a result of having too much negative reinforcement and not enough positive at an early age.
Dream dropping some serious life advice in this one. Amazing audio dream
Thank you Prob :)
An interesting lesson on forgiveness. Good story Dreamy.
Thank you!
Sometimes we all have a past some dark or light I find these ones to be always interesting because sometimes people have and make mistakes to make us human I guess
:) that's a beautiful sentiment, Art!
@@dreamaudiova heh thanks it true I know from personal experience
"My inner magpie wanted it" os my new favorite way to justify an impulsive purchase! 😄
:D My inner magpie would get me into so much debt!
I’m always in love with a bully if it’s Dream
Yeah. But in reality forever alone 😂
@@englishmfkrdoyouspeakit2144 TRUE
That was very sweet. Thank you.
Jake, you are a kind, enthusiastic, and supportive person. You're a wonderful cheerleader. I assure you, with your outgoing personality, you will not be forever alone.
@@dreamaudiova You're welcome Dreamy. Keep it up
I disagree.
I think we overhype forgiveness too much.
Forgiveness doesn't immediately erase the trauma or even dull it.
Sure. For some people that can help, but for most people it doesn't do anything at all.
Worst part.
Is it can end up helping the person that hurt you more than it does you.
Cause you've convinced them that their actions weren't bad enough.
For someone to hate you for the rest of their life.
So now they can go on without a care in the world.
It just isn't worth it.
I agree it's not an immediate erase of trauma and I certainly never meant to imply that.
And you're absolutely right forgiving a person for a behavior that's still occurring only serves to condone and normalize bad behavior,
But I really do have to stand by the idea that we can forgive adults for the things they did as children. Not just for them, but for ourselves. Because spending your life holding on to anger at a middle schooler isn't a healthy thing.
I feel like after it gets to a certain point, u cant really make excuses for certain people even if they were children. I do understand that everyone makes mistakes, especially when they're children, however, some people will use their young age as an excuse to do the worst. @dreamaudiova
@@dreamaudiovafor example: once I almost fought this racist kid in 4th grade. He had a brother who wasn't racist at all and I really liked his brother as a person. The dude that I almost fought was just a d*ckhead lol. They were probably both going through some things at home, which could've been reasoning for that boys behavior, but it's no excuse. I believe in reasoning, not excuses.
As long as she has a heart, didn't hurt me as a goal and is willing to apologize, I will be willing to forgive
Great work and have a wonderful day Dreamy ❤
Thank you, Raven. You're a dear!
Comment for the algorithm gods. A tithe to dreamys success. Have a lovely night dreamy.
Thank you!
I would only consider forgiveness if I were still emotionally invested in a person - which I definitely am not in the case of a high school bully - and only if it was clear that the person were making a clear and genuine effort towards change, towards making sure that they didn't hurt me or others in the same way again.
Saying that I forgive someone that I don't know any more, someone who I have no reason or desire to let back into my life, would be meaningless. I'm not invested in them as a person, I don't want to get to know them again or experience their company. I don't have fond memories of them, and I'll still remember the harm that they did.
And I can't see forgiving a memory as taking power back, because the person they were in the past did have power over the person I was when it happened. You can't compare that situation to one that involves the person I am now.
Forgiveness in this situation doesn't help me heal.
What does is spending time and energy to unlearn the things that the trauma made me believe about myself, and the survival techniques it forced me to adopt. Working to change myself into a person I want to be, a person that is happier in themselves, doesn't involve forgiving others, though it will involve forgiving myself.
Finally, hearing a loved one tell me they think I should forgive in this situation doesn't feel good. It reduces my trust in them, tbh. And it sounds like the speaker is projecting.
On the bright side, you're taking steps to unlearn the negative beliefs and survival techniques put upon you, and forgiving yourself and working towards becoming a happier person is all good. And yeah, hearing someone suggest forgiveness in such a situation can feel like they’re not fully understanding your experience. Sometimes we need time to regroup and heal. Your feelings and boundaries are valid. Thanks for listening and many hugs, Vanastar! :)
Love your new video keep it up your Awesome 😎😎😎💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
Thank you!
@@dreamaudiova your welcome 🤗🤗🤗
I knew I wasn’t going to like this one because of the subject, but I really did get quite angry at all this talk of forgiveness and trying to understand the monsters own trauma. I've been traumatised plenty at home, school, work, at nearly every stage of my life; no one ever tries to help or understand the victims and I've never thought "hey, why don't I make someone else wish they'd never existed?" I had to live with two of my abusers, go to school where the only interactions I could expect were abusive, and now I work with doctors who treat me like an appliance. I know why they did it, I have compassion and empathy, that's why I was an easy target, but understanding their motivations and forgiving them their shitty behaviour won't bring back the person I was. They stole my childhood and my future and gave my self-loathing and depression in their stead.
Sorry, need to calm down, sorry for everything
No need to apologize. I doubt that you are the only one that feel like that. While what I went through doesn't sound nearly as bad as you describe, I do get what you mean. The guilt of the aggressor is nothing compare with the pain of the victim. The victim is the one with the scars and the bullies will have at worse a very guilty conscience, if even that.
I'm sorry you were failed at so many levels. It sounds like you weren't just bullied by kids, but couldn't have gotten the support you needed from the adults in your life.
@@dreamaudiova Thank you both for your kind words. And yes, consistently. My family even legitimately gas lit me to the point I can trust my own judgement or experiences. Yet my dad was surprised I chose to leave for the other side of the world with my mum for a fresh start, rather than stay home with him and my little brother. Perhaps if they hadn't systematically shredded all my self-esteem I might have. It would be so much easier if I could hate them for being awful people, but they're not. They just handled their interactions with me terribly. Family, school, friends, doctors, psychiatrists, employers, governments, myself all failed me 🙃 But it's okay, because I don't matter and barely exist as a person anymore
Sorry again. I'm in a lot of pain and currently down with the rona
I hope she changes her ways.
:) I promise, she has.
This is very sweet but it's also kinda hard not to feel like she is projecting herself onto the other bully because she aint over her own issue's as much as she thinks 😅 she might be right about the guy,, she might be wrong, A-holes are out there his entire reason could just be * idid it because I could but now I know better*
Thanks for listening, Azura!
Here is a like and comment for the story, for entertaining me, to help your channel grow, to appease the great and powerful UA-cam algorithm demons, and get you the recognition you deserve.
Thank you, Smoke! :D
Ok i get the message, but what if the bullying led to the victim's suicide?
Then they will have to deal with the fact that they drove someone to that extreme for the rest of their lives, if their aren't a psychopath. At that point, there no chance of forgiveness or redemption for them.
Sadly, forgiveness is a moot point in that situation.
"Having The Ability To Forgive Someone Is One Of The Things That Makes Us Human My Love, If We Can't Forgive Our Bullies............How Can We Forgive Ourselves." He Said.
I love that!
💜🙈🙉🙊
:D I love those little monkeys! But the only one that ever sticks with me is the "speak no evil" dude. And even he ducks out to take a break every now and then!
@@dreamaudiova I like both speak no evil and see no evil kind of as a response that vibes like🤪. Hear no evil doesnt really make sense on an audio ... or maybe it makes even more sense, depend how you view it. Either way, feels wrong to seperate them.
No matter how much a bully hates their target, they hate themselves more so. Plus that thumbnail kinda looks like a bully.😄
Cool audio Dreamy! LOVED IT!!!😊💚👍
Thanks for listening, Chris! :D
@dreamaudiova You're always welcome Dreamy!😊
17
:) seeya again at 18
_To The Bully You Forgave Fully!_
Dreamy, you are an adorable bundle of wisdom! You make me want to pull your pigtails from behind the desk just so that I have an excuse to reach out to you. But instead, I will pull on your pinky and ask you to promise that no matter the amount of playful bullying and banter we go through that we will always fall into each other’s lap of forgiveness 🤍
Thanks for listening, Anand!