"If the hurt was in the words, then everyone would be equally hurt by them. But they're not, so the hurt cannot be in the words." Wow that's very powerful.
That's not totally true. If someone is being rude, everyone feels it, maybe not to the same degree. That is the true experience and Rupert Spira said in another video not to hang around 'abusive' people.
@@Misslotusification to take offence would be defending a position/making an identity from your thoughts. So yeh if your offended by something someone says your identified with the ego. If someones verbally intense and seems to have a bad energy about them you can accept fully distancing yourself from them.
In a household, one's hurtful words can affect everyone in the household, causing reactions and separation. Equally, another's action brings everyone together.
I've been doing this inquiry for the past day or so - when someone says something and I feel hurt, I immediately ask "Who is the one who is hurt?" And there is no answer, but I notice the feeling dissipates. As the lady says, all I perceive is a bunch of thoughts and feelings, and there's no 'self' there. I think the one that is hurt is my self image. The image of myself that is idealized and propped up that I try to uphold to the world and when someone knocks it down or contradicts it with a comment, all these thoughts and feelings come up as hurt and pain.
Here is the full transcript of this important recording: Questioner 0:09 Yesterday morning I think it was, I realized that my tension, I have an inner tension, that I know, I recognize that I know it all my life. It's like a tension in the body, it is connected to the most important relationships, I always feel it. And then I realized that the tension is caused by not accepting all of my emotions, all of them. And the reason was that I was never allowed to feel all my emotions when I was a child. And I'm not allowed to feel them right now also. It is like a loving relationship should be only loving. There is no place for hate or anger or jealousy or frustration. It's like a notion, that this is how love should be. And then I have an inner tension, whenever I feel something which is contradicting to that. Rupert Spira 1:14 And you are imposing this on yourself? Questioner 1:17 I am... No, it's like the common belief in my home, and many other homes. That this is how love should be. And then I realized that it's all wrong. And then, and then I am causing tension to myself, because I am agreeing to something which I don't live actually, I feel all the human emotions. And I feel them right now. And then what would happen if I would accept it? And so it was like a lightbulb. And I feel... I felt, and I felt a lot of relief. And it's like I left the baggage. And then I sat with all kinds of feelings, and I saw that they are all the same. And I don't know exactly how to explain it, it's like if I go into every emotion, anger, or jealousy. They are all the same taste. And I couldn't say what taste. What is it, and it felt like, I don't know where to go from there. And it's like even perceptions like the flower are like, and the flower and you and the glass, and it's the same taste, even like the emotions. And I don't know what it is, and I feel that I need some clarification. And also, I don't know how to combine that with a very very sensitive, that I am very sensitive to all kinds of cynicism, sarcasm, little words, all that, it's like scratching my skin, and it happens everywhere. So I feel that both of them are connected, I don't know how. And I was asking maybe you could clarify some. Rupert Spira 3:29 You feel that the sensitivity that you have to sarcasm and cynicism is connected to this sense that all of these feelings in you are or have the same taste? Those are the two things that you said, these two are connected? Questioner 3:50 I think I have... something says that they are connected. But I don't know exactly how, or maybe there are two different questions, you can choose which one you want to address. Rupert Spira 4:09 When someone is sarcastic to you or cynical, and you feel hurt... what feels hurt? Questioner 4:19 It can be also between two others, when people talk to each other over there, and they are sarcastic to each other, I feel the same. Not only towards me. Rupert Spira 4:27 But let's take an example, when someone's... it's more intense, it's easier to see. Questioner 4:50 Can you repeat the question? Rupert Spira 4:52 When someone is sarcastic or cynical, to you. What is it that is hurt? Questioner 5:02 I don't know but I feel a contraction, a very strong contraction in my body. And I feel hurt, I feel shame, I feel anger... Rupert Spira 5:16 So there is the answer to the question. I said, what is it that feels hurt. And you said, I feel hurt. Questioner 5:45 Yes. Rupert Spira 5:23 Tell us about that I. Questioner 5:46 I don't know... I can only say that I experience it, I see it happening. I don't know what to say about that I. Rupert Spira 5:56 But is it not quite important to know about that I. If I am the one that is hurt. Or in the previous example when you said relationships where you feel angry, you feel upset, you said I feel angry, I feel upset, I feel... jealous etc. All these feelings, the hurt, anger, upset, jealousy, they all belong to I. That is the one taste you talk of, that is what all these feelings have in common. So it's not actually necessary to know in detail about the hurt, the anger, the jealousy, because they all share I. So, tell us about the I. The one that is hurt. The one that gets upset, the one that is jealous. Questioner 7:06 I get blank. I don't see anything. Rupert Spira 7:20 So if there is nothing there, If you can't find it, on whose behalf is the hurt and upset and jealousy rising? Questioner 7:32 I don't know... I search for it in the body, it is not in the body, it is not in the thought, it is not in the emotion itself. I don't know... Rupert Spira 8:02 Tell me about it... And yet all your feelings are rising on its behalf. What's going to happen to the feelings when you discover that the self on whose behalf they are rising, is not there? Questioner 8:39 It's the same how it started, it's like... I don't know... Rupert Spira 8:47 Let's try an experiment. This is just a game, I don't mean what I'm going to say, okay? I really dislike your pink trousers. You heard those words, yeah. And Elsbeth heard those words. You are hurt by them, but she's not - why? You both heard the same words. If there was something inherently hurtful in my words, then, well, let's not just say Elsbeth, let's say everyone else heard the words, but only one person is hurt by them. If my words were really hurtful, they were inherently hurtful. In other words, if the hurt was in the words, everyone would be equally hurt by them. But they're not. So the hurt cannot be in the words. Why are you hurt? (I know you are not hurt, but pretend that you are.) What is it that is hurt? Questioner 9:54 I'm asking you, I don't know. I don't know, I also don't understand why this body, why am I aware of.... Only this body, if I'm awareness... Rupert Spira 10:07 Well, hang on, hang on. That's another question, which... if you go on to another question you're sort of wriggling out of this little experiment, just as we're coming close to the answer, which is a way of the non-existent ego saying, I don't want my non-existence to be discovered, so I'm going to ask another nondual question. Questioner 10:34 I am sitting with my pink trousers. Rupert Spira 10:36 Sit with your... yes... So, what is it that is hurt when I say I don't like... Actually, I think your trousers are very nice. But what is it that is hurt in you when I say I dislike your pink trousers. Something has to rise up in you. Something has to meet the words. Something has to rise up and say 'no'. What is that? Questioner 11:15 I don't want to say the separate self, because it is a combination of... things, of thoughts and feelings. Rupert Spira 11:28 No no, it's not a thought. A thought cannot be hurt by my words. Can a thought ever be hurt? Questioner 11:35 No. Rupert Spira 11:38 Can a sensation be hurt? Questioner 11:40 No. Rupert Spira 11:42 Can a feeling be hurt? Questioner 11:44 No. Rupert Spira 11:45 What is being hurt? Awareness is obviously hearing the words. Can awareness be hurt? Questioner 11:52 No. Rupert Spira 11:53 What is being hurt? Questioner 11:57 I don't know... Rupert Spira 11:57 Well, until you find it, just stop being hurt. Stop getting upset when people say things to you or when you hear people say things, until you can find the one that is upset. If you ever find that one, then you can legitimately be upset. Until you find it just stop being upset and reactive. Questioner 12:24 It's funny. It's like saying to the wind don't blow... It happens. Rupert Spira 12:32 What? Questioner 12:33 Its just, it's like saying to the wind, don't blow. I mean, it happens. It's arising, all the time. Emotions are arising. Rupert Spira 12:42 But it is only arising because the non-existence of the separate self has not been clearly seen. If it was absolutely clear to you, that the one that is hurt is non-existent, what happens to the hurt? Questioner 13:13 There's no base for that. Rupert Spira 13:15 There's no place for that. So next time you hear someone being sarcastic or cynical, either to you or between themselves, and you feel this hurt, don't go towards the sarcasm and justify the feeling by saying 'oh they were so unkind or mean', don't go there because that legitimizes the non-existent self. Ask yourself... Be happy that the feeling of hurt has been provoked, because it is your opportunity... just ask yourself in that moment, in the intensity of the feeling... ask yourself, where is the one that is hurt, who is the one that is hurt? Spend time trying to find it. Questioner 14:07 I have a... I feel that if I see this happening, okay. And I relax. And I allow the feeling that arose to just be there and go without asking, 'where is the separate self?', just allowing. Is it the same? Rupert Spira 14:30 No. If you just allow it to rise up and go... It will rise up and go. And then the next time someone is cynical or sarcastic, it will rise up again, and it will go on and on and on, rising up again in response to things that people do or don't say. Until you recognize the non-existence of the one that is hurt. So no, it's not enough to just say 'all of this appears in open, empty awareness. It's just arising'. Be more investigative.
I remember when i was affiliated deeply with the religious ideology i recieved from my childhood i had become that ideology like in a way the so called psuedo images of oneself takes more and more in. Identifies and begins to take shape. I was 16 when i had doubts about my religion and this doubt was trying to put a pin in this image but the hurt that it creates and all kinds of fear that it surrounds itself is unbelievable untill you get out and form another so called image but this time it's not that much bigger and you can get out of this in less time and then another one till i guess it loses it's shape shifting methods and gradually dissolves into complete awareness . Now there is transformation of anxiety into that smile. Strange things we do make a world distort it make it again resolve it and the circle goes on but i have this strange feeling saying it can be done. It can be done!
"It's only arising because the nonexistence of the separate self has not been clearly seen." Good golly, Miss Molly my mind is blown by that beauty of a statement. 💥💣💥
Every painful thought and emotion is a kiss from God/consciousness. It's a golden opportunity to seek the self and to find it not. It's an opportunity to inquire about the truth and to set oneself free. Thank you, dear Rupert. I needed this. 🙏😊
Then there would be no one to take it "Person"ally. What comes to me is that it is some idea of who I am that feels hurt as in "How can you say that to me? I am such a nice guy." So the hurt would come from the perception that my self-image is under attack. It is the persona that feels hurt. I am defending an image.
@@claudelebel49 Thanks for pointing so clearly. Almost 3 years seeking plus self-inquiry and finally someone helps dissolve this separate self. Apparently all of the reactivity and all other forms of egoic self-preservation have been to protect the separate self which could more clearly be called the self image. Beliefs, concepts and mental images of who "I" am that have been accumulated over the course of a lifetime (more specifically the past) and defended, protected, valued and rooted "in fear" of losing face, of being "less than", of being wrong, of not knowing, criticized, comparison to others, on and on and on - it is nothing more than survival mode for a self image that has no reality "outside of itself" or even any reality at all. Thank you!
Who is hurt? Can a thought be hurt? Can a feeling be hurt? Can a sensation be hurt? Can infinite awareness be hurt? So, who or what is it that is hurt? If you find that one, you can be legitimally be hurt or upset. But until you find this one, stop being hurt or upset. Good reasening! Going to tell this to the one who thinks she's upset. Let's see what she says. Pretty sure she will say something like: but I do exist, how else could I be feeling upset 😂
Why would ever worry how other people percieve the words of Rupert.Not everyone is at the same level of growth and evolution-Be fully satisfied if it can help you for a starter !
This video perfectly answers a lot of my psychological questions about repressed pain from my early childhood. I (the ego) bottled it all up way back then and now I (the ego) am now re-experiencing it. I (the Real) never had and does not now have any PAIN! I have had both the egoic pain of the separate self and the non-pain of the Real Self. I'll stick with the REAL!
@@FreeFlow__ yes, the sensation but there is nobody experiencing it. The thinking mind creates a relationships between the natural occurence of a sensation in the organism and a psychological me that does not exist. When this is seen, pain is still being experienced but there is no suffering as there is nobody that could possible suffer.
On whose behalf are you being hurt? On whose behalf am I commenting right now? It's like I'm imagining someone doing these actions, who is really just not there.
It is the identification with the body/mind that feels hurt. Words and thoughts can not physically hurt. The meaning each of our minds assigns to the thoughts is what appears to be the source of the hurt. If you know who you are, a physical MANIFESTATION on the Self, then you know who you are is indestructible.
I think the question she tried to ask about other bodyminds is relevant. Granted that every bodymind is equally illusory and that there is only one legitimate I, why must we take other people’s suffering seriously, if we do not do the same to our own feelings? “No one is hurt” seems to be an insufficient answer, because that would justify not acting lovingly towards other bodyminds. It’s a double standard. If we take other people’s suffering seriously, why not our own? We are, after all, mysteriously attached to one particular bodymind, which implies that there should be great care and responsibility towards it. No one in their right mind would ever say to a suffering loved one, “Your suffering is nonsensical because there is no one to be hurt”. On the contrary, we would long to hear them, to find out what’s wrong, to minimize their suffering now and in the future, and this part especially requires that we take their bodymind seriously, so that we can understand their pain and help them prepare for it the next time it comes. Of course, I don’t mean to imply that Rupert is acting unkindly here, but I am saying that this line of reasoning seems practically insufficient. The bodymind will inevitably suffer: if not our own, then somebody else’s. Just saying there is no one hurt is, as the questioner says, like telling the wind not to blow.
Hi Argo! “why must we take other people’s suffering seriously, if we do not do the same to our own feelings?” - 2 things stand out for me with this question: 1) Your level of understanding is not necessarily the same as others. Most people are not aware that they are not their mind. And 2) there are things we feel even when we are in the moment ie. the lose of a loved one. By feeling these feelings we release them a little until they are powerless over us meaning that you can always feel a little sadness when you think of them but it naturally turns to happy thoughts when you remember that they aren’t really gone.
It is the ego that is hurt. The eye cannot see itself. The ego too cannot objectively look at itself. That’s why when the ego looks for the ego it finds ‘nothing there.’
This so easily becomes another head trip, spiritual bypassing, dissociation, splitting off, defending against pain, egoic self-manipulation and getting inculcated into a nondual belief system. If you’re triggered you’re triggered, if you’re hurt you’re hurt. Let it all be there and keep some attention on the background of awareness too, if you like. Stay in your body and breathe, and feel it to heal it. Keep it simple, ride the wave, surrender, and it will naturally resolve into spaciousness and spontaneous insight. Imagine telling a hurting child they don’t exist, it’s inhuman and insane. Well, that’s how we are when we’re hurting, regressed etc.
exactly! you're still saying 'no' to the feeling because you've judged it to be bad/painful or whatever and you want to get rid of it, it will come back and bite you in the end. better to ask why do want to get rid of it? why are you afraid of meeting it? why can't you say yes to the feeling? you might develop compassion for the feeling and it will then relax
If the egoic hurtful words are met with the egoic self there will be hurt. If the hurtful words are met with the I Am presence- the words shall be revealed for what they are. Just words. Perhaps that is what the true meaning of the old adage ‘sticks and stones shall break my bones-but words will never hurt me.’ Because words are formless. Unless we give them the power fueled by our emotions. Similar to a fuse just waiting be ignited by hot words. We can let the fuse be wet.
I used to examen my ego. We use to teach others: when you hurt when someone says something it must resonate with your own believes. F.i. that you don,t feel worty and that is why you hurt. But now we discovered that there is really no "you" to feel hurt. Now we examen the real self and no longer the ego. What a relieve.What a blessing.What an insight.❤❤❤
What comes to me is that it is some idea of who I am that feels hurt as in "How can you say that to me? I am such a nice guy." So the hurt would come from the perception that my self-image is under attack. It is the persona that feels hurt. I am defending an image.
The mind would be thoughts, feelings, images, memories, sense perceptions, etc. They went through all that in the video exchange. None of those can be hurt. Therefore the mind cannot be hurt.
However it can also be the case that the nice guy treats other people with genuine goodness and care, but did not receive the same treatment from other people, which leads to the built-up of resentment. The nice guy may be unhappy about (and depleted from) the imbalance in "give and take", rather than defending his self-image. If you say "the persona is false, so I should be able to rise above the balance of 'give and take' and be a self-sacrificing saint", would you actually have the mental and physical resources to achieve that?
Too much in the head, I would leave the thinking process out of it, go to the heart , keep quiet, see all of these emotions dancing in me or somewhere in the ethers and observe them , feel them, be with them in the silence, I would work on the subtle level instead on the thinking level, it always works for me.
eva w As Rupert said "if you just observe the feelings and then let them go without finding the person who is experiencing them, they will just keep on coming back". If that was happening you wouldn't be saying "it ALWAYS works for me."
This is brilliant. As soon as you look for 'what is scared' in my case, I just arrive at awareness, monitoring feelings and sensations in my body but there's nothing there. It's almost like there is a screen behind my eyes that awareness is watching and they're just thoughts, but I perceive them as me, and when I try to look for that which is affected by the thoughts/feelings, it's like a filter falls and I am just looking at what is in front of me.
Thank you for posting this video. I think it is a summing-up of what we have to do and what we have to find. That's all our lives have to have as a purpose.
What or who is hurt? An image that I have of myself? A self-created identity? A belief? There seems to be a subtle Choice. A choosing to feel hurt, a choosing to take it personally, to make it personal ... But it is simply a happening, happening on it's own, including the identifications. All this is happening in me and not to me.
A choice means that there is somebody making a choice. It is a beautifull example of a possible exercise. There is nobody that could make a choice, there is nobody that can take something personal. If you look for this entity that supposedly has this power you never find it. What you see is that there are thoughts rising in awereness (withouth there being a you really deciding what thoughts wil rise and what thoughts wil lead to action by the body-mind organism). The content of these thoughts is always linked to a so called thinker of thoughts (an I thinking). In direct experience a thinker does not exist without a thought. The feeler does not exist without the feeling etc. This duality that is created is although never experienced. There is always just a thought, sensation, emotion, perception appearing in awereness. The "me" that is supposedly having this experiences does not exist apart from them. When you investicate to find the "me" (yourself) in a thought, emotion, perception etc there is no "me" to find.
@@claudelebel49 The mind perceives the world through the senses. It seems than that there is a me perceiving a world out there. To see that this duality is false analyse each sense consciousnesses (vision, hearing, taste etc ...) to see if you find an object or a subject that exists apart from the sense consciousnesses itself. When you see a tree (as an example) our mind creates a false duality between a seer (a subject) and something seen (the object). In reality there is no object seen and subject seeing but only seeing itself that is being experienced. There has never been an experience of a colour or a form apart from seeing itself. The seer is also not something that is apart from the seeing. The same thing is what is found for hearing (there exist nothing heard and no hearer apart from hearing). When there is touching what is experienced is sensation itself. Every possible experience that we have of a possible object is always and only a colour, a form and a sensation (hardness etc). There is no object apart from this. All these qualities are just the mind itself (seeing, hearing, tasting etc). If the objects are analysed scientifically on an atomic level it is clear that there is in fact no object present but only energy with no characteristics or qualities. A solid material object must contain some indestructible substance if it is to be described as truly existent. Without an essential substance, material objects cannot be said “to exist.” If a thing is substantial, it needs to have substance. Without some other thing “to exist upon,” it cannot be called an existent. It is an undeniable truth that the ultimate particles have no substance according to science. The same applies for the subject (seer, hearer, thinker, feeler etc). There is no seer apart from seeing. There exist no hearer apart from hearing etc .. "Appearances that in reality are not separate from our mental projections are mistaken for an objective and independent outer part, while our experience of what seems to be an independent inner reality is mistaken for an independent apprehending subject; yet neither of these apparent poles goes beyond the limits of the intellectual mind." (From the book the great secret of mind)
But the question is „Why do these feelings come up? Why do they hurt? It is painful, it is physical. Its not like we recognize that the separate self doesnt exist and the feeling disappears.
In a moment of anxiety or hurt, i can't just play with philosophical ideas. It won't make me calm. It's too intellectual and don't gives a place for the feeling,as if feelings are not legitimate. I am sorry, i can't except that kind of approach.
Feeling are certainly legitimate when they are genuine and derive from the core of your existence and not out of the fake personality the society has forced you to obtain for the obvious reasons.You have identified yourself with the mask you are wearing and has been accepted by you as the real thing which is not and the feelings which are produced on behalf of it are not valid and thats why they do not bring bliss and joy but they always end up bringing pain and suffering.
+ Rupert Spira: Say I'm 2 y.old. Genuine, still no false personality. An adult hits me & mistreats me (screams angrily at me) b/c she is a sick person and dislikes me. I get angry rightly. I am being hurt but cannot defend myself. Awareness or my real I is not being hurt. But, is MY EGO being hurt? I don't believe I wud have formed one yet, so young. So cud there be such a thing as being hurt in the body (by hitting) and the emotions (by unfair mistreatment) that is not Ego or True Self? Any comments?
Wouldn't the same Ben said of anger and any other feeling or sensation....I am anger? I do like how this "I am love" made me realize I don't need another to fulfill me tho so thank you
The one who is hurt is a person whose personality is the mask that people wear throughout their lives veiling awareness which is the true nature of our being.So our projection of who we are in the society is the one who needs to defend its excistance and justify the idea and image the others have about him/her.
Who is hurt? The 'little me' we confuse / identify ourselves with, and it's story of being a fragile victim. That is what is common in all the hurts (anger, jealousy, irritation,...), the separate fictitious self wanting to strengthen itself.
This principle must be the same when waking from nightmares, l guess. Anyone else finding that the fewer thoughts one has in daytime the more vivid dreams one has? Thank you for posting.
She lost the opportunity to observe her as an I , when she felt uneasiness or discomfort in talking and it was opportunity that she can observe who was feeling uneasiness or discomfort.
At 14' ... Feeling and allowing is not enough. As long as I feel there is a person here, it will continue. He seems to be saying that the Path of Surrender is not enough, that the nut of Knees needs to be seen through or broken.
IFS therapy can help identify those hurt parts of the separate self. You work with those “parts”, heal them, and eventually the parts trust in the True Self.
LOL, yes, she (the Real) got it and then she (the False) quickly changed the subject. that often happens at 12 step sharing meetings when folks get close to something significant and then quickly jump right over it!
When hurt, or under any feeling, emotion, you must try to feel the I who is hurt. This is the most important. Observe until you can feel it clearly. This is difficult. But dont try to stop the feeling of hurt. Then continue observing the I without resisting the feeling of hurt. You will discover that this I is something focused or localized inside. Continue observation. You will find out that this I exist because you identified yourself with hurt. The hurt became alive. You became the hurt. If you continue investigation, you will discover that you are not the hurt, not this I, but this I is inside you. You will be aware of yourself as borderless something (i cannot find a word for that) and this focused I at the same time. And with your will you can stop the identification and the feeling will be stopped also.
But once you have the contractions we need to feel the pain to release it. It doesn’t make sense to say there is no pain when the contraction has already occurred. I know Rupert more and more says that we need to feel the sensation but in this clip he is negating the woman’s pain by saying there’s no self who suffers. That insight is useful to avoid contractions in the future but we shouldn’t use it to repress emotions.
The pain is present. The me having the pain and suffering does not. Suffering wil end, possible fysical pain or even emotional pain wil still possible occur. We suffer because we experience a so called me having the pain, being hurt, being angry. When it is seen that there is no me - being the "possesor"- of these sensations the suffering ends. This does not mean that the body wil not experience pain, that emotions wil still rise. The brain still reacts to incoming stimuli. The difference is that there is no me taking ownership of them.
He's not saying not to feel the hurt (repress it) or pretend it's not there. He's saying to look for that which is feeling hurt. I believe he was being tongue in cheek when he said, well, just don't feel it anymore until you find the one. He said that, I think, to underscore the importance of looking. The lady understood that since she laughed at the comment.
Thank you Sir for such a NYC clarification I m from India what I observe that all spiritual teachers they say the same thing I keep listening all of them can you pl bless for enlightenment I m Ghanshyam from Indore ,India
98% of human beings have parts of themselves that they are very disconnected from. That they have isolated, pushed aside. One of the main reasons they are involved in spirituality is so that they can transcend them and have nothing to do with them and feel really free and enlightened anyway. And while it's true that you can transcend things and go beyond, you don't have to be identified, it doesn't define you, its not who you are and all that's true, But until those aspects of your Being that feel disconnected get reconnected they will keep reappearing to be loved. They are looking for connection and acceptance and it's just a reconnection that comes from no longer rejecting them or being astranged from them, it's a turning back towards them. That's what compassion is. Not being phony, I'm going to love you to death until your gone and I never experience you again.... But it knows that and that doesn't work, that's phony, that's not real love. With real love and compassion theres no getting rid of anything, nothing. So any part of you that you have pushed aside, it's that part that will keep pulling you back and it will keep pulling you back until you remember that nothing gets left behind, nothing - maybe temporarily but not ultimately. Nobody gets the option to leave any part of themselves behind,whether you deem it illusurory, real or unreal nothings left behind....
What would happen to future generations if sessions like this one were a subject in schools, like math or biology? I think that the rate of unhappiness and conflict between people would drop by 80% in the next 50 years.
Re: "I don't want to say it's the Separate Self!" Jim: LOL, that is being said BY the separate self! The separate self, that she believes herself to be, is refusing to admit that it EXISTS (in her mind). Rupert: What is being hurt? Seeker: (with an embarrassed snicker) I don't know! (Meaning: I am too afraid or ashamed to say that my EGO gets hurt!) Rupert: It's not enough to just allow the pain to come and go. (The separate, non-existent self must be seen through and not believed in - then there will be no one to get hurt!)
+Scott Smith Go to the theater. Allow yourself to be drawn into the drama that unfolds among the characters of the play. Weep in association with their pain. Laugh in association with their joy. Now, what if you imagined that one of the characters of the play was you? In fact, what if you were the main character and all the events of the play revolved around you? That is the essence of the separate self. It is the central fictional character in a drama so compelling and believable that you forget all about the true "I" that you really are. Instead you experience everything that is ostensibly experienced by the fictional "I" of the play.
Steve, You are wrong only in your constraining view of localized consciousness. You say that the separate self is an illusion. Perhaps so, if perceived from an absolute non-dual point of view. But here you are, typing a response to an illusion. You assert non-dualism, yet act as if dualism was a reality. Odd. We all seem to act as if we are real, even though we assert otherwise. Perhaps it is because both dualism and non-dualism are indeed useful ways to look at our existence. Perhaps we should accept both as useful truths. absoluteholism.weebly.com/
+Scott Smith I screwed up my metaphor in a few ways. And I'm a professional theater director, so I'm particularly disgusted with myself (not really, but "disgusted" is kind of a fun word). I'm going to revisit, revise and repost the thing tomorrow.
Scott Smith do we accept the earth is flat and also spherical? Does the separate self exist or is it true that upon investigation it's only a conditioned reactive response that can be undone and has no separate existence?
The hurt is not in the words, it's in the absence of love. Words delivered by an individual may have a completely different feel when delivered by someone else. It's not so much what you say as where you are coming from. All the while, admitting that how and by whom they are received is also part of the equation.
I think it is a very interesting question what she asked there in the middle: "Why am I aware of only this body? If i'm awareness.." I used to wonder it too, until it was realized, that since this body exists in awareness, it is aware of itself and its limits. Someone has to be aware of it, it cannot go beyond its bodily limits so it just exists there in awareness, which is the real me. It's like a fish in the sea, it can see other fish, but it can never merge with others, they cant really meet, but the background is the same water.
This question came to me a few days ago too :) My response was: how could I be aware of all forms, elemental, mineral, vegetable, animal and human? Someone needs to be responsible for this body and its energy dynamics. Same awareness, same information :) and same questions and answers lol. Different only in how each soul absorbs. Unbelievable. Thank you! Love from Brazil.
Yes, this question is a very good question. I had this question with me for a long time. If Im not the body... Why am I not aware of other bodies too? Why only this body? Is an englightened human being aware of others body? All the 7 billion? Sure not. But if not, then awareness is limited only into one body. A guru is not aware of my physical pain in my leg, so how can he say he is unlimited awareness and perceives his own body the same way as other people's body? I feel so thirsty to get a logical answer for this. If we can say 1+1=2, why cant we say how awareness is working? Why is that its so unexplainable? Sometime I feel its like a very hard level in a computer game what Im unsuccesfully trying to finish for thousands of hours but noone told me that the programmer made the level impossible to finish. Why?... Why isnt it easier?
Tolle Rálom Our bodies have their limits. You cannot go into another individuals body or mind. Consciousness doesn't know anything physical, it is blank formless background, it enables the body to paint itself and the senses into this field of awareness that is around you. That blankness, is "infinite", you cannot show its limits or borders. Realizing that this body appears in the awareness just as much as anyone elses will be a liberating feeling. Apologies its hard to put into words.
Sorry for late answer, but yes. I have written from my experience, the knowing. Knowledge borrowed from teachings and others is a good stepping stone, but to get the real thing, go to the experiencing and be with it, and things will start unfolding. It is the thinking that veils it.
@rupertspira If possible, please increase the volume while editing before uploading. It's hard to hear them. It has also been the same case in meditations.
Maybe she is supposed to act on them to heal something, my journey has been a combination of processing feelings without acting on them or finding a loving way to express my feelings sometimes it is correct to confront people.
On the one hand i love Rupert for helping me shift negative blocks and on the other i find some things contradictory - such as when the women said “should i just let things arise and then pass” and he said No, i thought that was the main message in his teachings - i suppose the other part of his teachings is as well as letting things arise without attachment and let them dissolve in presence is the other aspect which is, what is getting hurt? Im asking this as i feel a knot of anxiety in my stomach and the feeling of that uncomfortable knot contradicts the statement that nothing is hurting, no feeling no image nothing is hurting, i suppose i could let that statement slide for depression because his teachings work well with that, but for anxiety or for example a migraine, both of which i have right now its hard to apply the statement that nothing is hurting
Now find the "you" that can choose to not be hurt, That will be where the hurt resides. We can take our unresolved hurts to other incarnations, so there must be a part of us that holds onto them. I think it is the soul or subconscious mind. You cannot point to a mind, but we know we have one.
Maybe a soul, an atma is being hurt? What would be the answer? In dualistic philosophies they accept an existing atman, who is separate from the Supreme God. In this case what would be the answer?
I need to ask " myself " . . . on whose behalf is the feeling of hurt arising ??? Dr. Abraham Low says people are rude, crude, and indifferent. But they're not necessarily aiming at you. Therefore apparently it's up to me to accept or reject whatever they say or do as directed at "me." So is Mr. Spira saying to question the "me" i assume exists ???? Whatever they perceive as "me" is not the real me. Just asking.
Can someone answer this question... So when I get offended or hurt... I've started asking who is hurt, I'll ask immediately following feeling sad or hurt or angry... With in seconds of asking that question, the feeling leaves and whoever whatever is hurt is gone... Is this normal? Or supposed to happen?
"If the hurt was in the words, then everyone would be equally hurt by them. But they're not, so the hurt cannot be in the words." Wow that's very powerful.
Agreed.
That's not totally true. If someone is being rude, everyone feels it, maybe not to the same degree. That is the true experience and Rupert Spira said in another video not to hang around 'abusive' people.
@@Misslotusification to take offence would be defending a position/making an identity from your thoughts. So yeh if your offended by something someone says your identified with the ego. If someones verbally intense and seems to have a bad energy about them you can accept fully distancing yourself from them.
In a household, one's hurtful words can affect everyone in the household, causing reactions and separation. Equally, another's action brings everyone together.
Well, the hurt is in the energy behind the words. If you’re being attacked verbally, for example. But of course, you don’t have to take it personally.
I've been doing this inquiry for the past day or so - when someone says something and I feel hurt, I immediately ask "Who is the one who is hurt?" And there is no answer, but I notice the feeling dissipates. As the lady says, all I perceive is a bunch of thoughts and feelings, and there's no 'self' there. I think the one that is hurt is my self image. The image of myself that is idealized and propped up that I try to uphold to the world and when someone knocks it down or contradicts it with a comment, all these thoughts and feelings come up as hurt and pain.
".. But... Can an image feel hurt?" Rupert would say.... "Who is the" I" that is holding that image?".... 🤔
@@evavalverde7142 Exactly that. How can an image be hurt?
I th8nk you nailed it.
@@evavalverde7142 yes!
@@evavalverde7142 You can just feel any contraction loosening with that question. So good
Here is the full transcript of this important recording:
Questioner 0:09
Yesterday morning I think it was, I realized that my tension, I have an inner tension, that I know, I recognize that I know it all my life. It's like a tension in the body, it is connected to the most important relationships, I always feel it. And then I realized that the tension is caused by not accepting all of my emotions, all of them.
And the reason was that I was never allowed to feel all my emotions when I was a child. And I'm not allowed to feel them right now also. It is like a loving relationship should be only loving. There is no place for hate or anger or jealousy or frustration. It's like a notion, that this is how love should be. And then I have an inner tension, whenever I feel something which is contradicting to that.
Rupert Spira 1:14
And you are imposing this on yourself?
Questioner 1:17
I am... No, it's like the common belief in my home, and many other homes. That this is how love should be. And then I realized that it's all wrong. And then, and then I am causing tension to myself, because I am agreeing to something which I don't live actually, I feel all the human emotions. And I feel them right now. And then what would happen if I would accept it?
And so it was like a lightbulb. And I feel... I felt, and I felt a lot of relief. And it's like I left the baggage. And then I sat with all kinds of feelings, and I saw that they are all the same. And I don't know exactly how to explain it, it's like if I go into every emotion, anger, or jealousy. They are all the same taste. And I couldn't say what taste. What is it, and it felt like, I don't know where to go from there. And it's like even perceptions like the flower are like, and the flower and you and the glass, and it's the same taste, even like the emotions. And I don't know what it is, and I feel that I need some clarification.
And also, I don't know how to combine that with a very very sensitive, that I am very sensitive to all kinds of cynicism, sarcasm, little words, all that, it's like scratching my skin, and it happens everywhere. So I feel that both of them are connected, I don't know how. And I was asking maybe you could clarify some.
Rupert Spira 3:29
You feel that the sensitivity that you have to sarcasm and cynicism is connected to this sense that all of these feelings in you are or have the same taste? Those are the two things that you said, these two are connected?
Questioner 3:50
I think I have... something says that they are connected. But I don't know exactly how, or maybe there are two different questions, you can choose which one you want to address.
Rupert Spira 4:09
When someone is sarcastic to you or cynical, and you feel hurt... what feels hurt?
Questioner 4:19
It can be also between two others, when people talk to each other over there, and they are sarcastic to each other, I feel the same. Not only towards me.
Rupert Spira 4:27
But let's take an example, when someone's... it's more intense, it's easier to see.
Questioner 4:50
Can you repeat the question?
Rupert Spira 4:52
When someone is sarcastic or cynical, to you. What is it that is hurt?
Questioner 5:02
I don't know but I feel a contraction, a very strong contraction in my body. And I feel hurt, I feel shame, I feel anger...
Rupert Spira 5:16
So there is the answer to the question. I said, what is it that feels hurt. And you said, I feel hurt.
Questioner 5:45
Yes.
Rupert Spira 5:23
Tell us about that I.
Questioner 5:46
I don't know... I can only say that I experience it, I see it happening. I don't know what to say about that I.
Rupert Spira 5:56
But is it not quite important to know about that I. If I am the one that is hurt. Or in the previous example when you said relationships where you feel angry, you feel upset, you said I feel angry, I feel upset, I feel... jealous etc. All these feelings, the hurt, anger, upset, jealousy, they all belong to I. That is the one taste you talk of, that is what all these feelings have in common. So it's not actually necessary to know in detail about the hurt, the anger, the jealousy, because they all share I. So, tell us about the I. The one that is hurt. The one that gets upset, the one that is jealous.
Questioner 7:06
I get blank. I don't see anything.
Rupert Spira 7:20
So if there is nothing there, If you can't find it, on whose behalf is the hurt and upset and jealousy rising?
Questioner 7:32
I don't know... I search for it in the body, it is not in the body, it is not in the thought, it is not in the emotion itself. I don't know...
Rupert Spira 8:02
Tell me about it... And yet all your feelings are rising on its behalf. What's going to happen to the feelings when you discover that the self on whose behalf they are rising, is not there?
Questioner 8:39
It's the same how it started, it's like... I don't know...
Rupert Spira 8:47
Let's try an experiment. This is just a game, I don't mean what I'm going to say, okay?
I really dislike your pink trousers. You heard those words, yeah. And Elsbeth heard those words. You are hurt by them, but she's not - why? You both heard the same words. If there was something inherently hurtful in my words, then, well, let's not just say Elsbeth, let's say everyone else heard the words, but only one person is hurt by them. If my words were really hurtful, they were inherently hurtful. In other words, if the hurt was in the words, everyone would be equally hurt by them. But they're not. So the hurt cannot be in the words. Why are you hurt? (I know you are not hurt, but pretend that you are.) What is it that is hurt?
Questioner 9:54
I'm asking you, I don't know. I don't know, I also don't understand why this body, why am I aware of.... Only this body, if I'm awareness...
Rupert Spira 10:07
Well, hang on, hang on. That's another question, which... if you go on to another question you're sort of wriggling out of this little experiment, just as we're coming close to the answer, which is a way of the non-existent ego saying, I don't want my non-existence to be discovered, so I'm going to ask another nondual question.
Questioner 10:34
I am sitting with my pink trousers.
Rupert Spira 10:36
Sit with your... yes... So, what is it that is hurt when I say I don't like... Actually, I think your trousers are very nice. But what is it that is hurt in you when I say I dislike your pink trousers. Something has to rise up in you. Something has to meet the words. Something has to rise up and say 'no'. What is that?
Questioner 11:15
I don't want to say the separate self, because it is a combination of... things, of thoughts and feelings.
Rupert Spira 11:28
No no, it's not a thought. A thought cannot be hurt by my words. Can a thought ever be hurt?
Questioner 11:35
No.
Rupert Spira 11:38
Can a sensation be hurt?
Questioner 11:40
No.
Rupert Spira 11:42
Can a feeling be hurt?
Questioner 11:44
No.
Rupert Spira 11:45
What is being hurt? Awareness is obviously hearing the words. Can awareness be hurt?
Questioner 11:52
No.
Rupert Spira 11:53
What is being hurt?
Questioner 11:57
I don't know...
Rupert Spira 11:57
Well, until you find it, just stop being hurt. Stop getting upset when people say things to you or when you hear people say things, until you can find the one that is upset. If you ever find that one, then you can legitimately be upset. Until you find it just stop being upset and reactive.
Questioner 12:24
It's funny. It's like saying to the wind don't blow... It happens.
Rupert Spira 12:32
What?
Questioner 12:33
Its just, it's like saying to the wind, don't blow. I mean, it happens. It's arising, all the time. Emotions are arising.
Rupert Spira 12:42
But it is only arising because the non-existence of the separate self has not been clearly seen. If it was absolutely clear to you, that the one that is hurt is non-existent, what happens to the hurt?
Questioner 13:13
There's no base for that.
Rupert Spira 13:15
There's no place for that.
So next time you hear someone being sarcastic or cynical, either to you or between themselves, and you feel this hurt, don't go towards the sarcasm and justify the feeling by saying 'oh they were so unkind or mean', don't go there because that legitimizes the non-existent self. Ask yourself...
Be happy that the feeling of hurt has been provoked, because it is your opportunity... just ask yourself in that moment, in the intensity of the feeling... ask yourself, where is the one that is hurt, who is the one that is hurt? Spend time trying to find it.
Questioner 14:07
I have a... I feel that if I see this happening, okay. And I relax. And I allow the feeling that arose to just be there and go without asking, 'where is the separate self?', just allowing. Is it the same?
Rupert Spira 14:30
No. If you just allow it to rise up and go... It will rise up and go. And then the next time someone is cynical or sarcastic, it will rise up again, and it will go on and on and on, rising up again in response to things that people do or don't say. Until you recognize the non-existence of the one that is hurt. So no, it's not enough to just say 'all of this appears in open, empty awareness. It's just arising'. Be more investigative.
It seems to me that what is feeling hurt is some idea or image that I has of itself, an image that needs to be defended and sustained.
what is it that is having the experience?what is aware of the trauma?what knows the world tru the senses
I remember when i was affiliated deeply with the religious ideology i recieved from my childhood i had become that ideology like in a way the so called psuedo images of oneself takes more and more in. Identifies and begins to take shape. I was 16 when i had doubts about my religion and this doubt was trying to put a pin in this image but the hurt that it creates and all kinds of fear that it surrounds itself is unbelievable untill you get out and form another so called image but this time it's not that much bigger and you can get out of this in less time and then another one till i guess it loses it's shape shifting methods and gradually dissolves into complete awareness . Now there is transformation of anxiety into that smile. Strange things we do make a world distort it make it again resolve it and the circle goes on but i have this strange feeling saying it can be done. It can be done!
@@claudedupont8233 I do.
Yes an appearance or a thought of ego
"It's only arising because the nonexistence of the separate self has not been clearly seen."
Good golly, Miss Molly my mind is blown by that beauty of a statement. 💥💣💥
That's some deep shit, ha?
Excellent! "Who is the one who is hurt?" ... Silence.
Silence = the REAL - where there is no one to be "hurt".
Haha
Everything just comes into focus. This is one of the best videos i've seen.
Every painful thought and emotion is a kiss from God/consciousness. It's a golden opportunity to seek the self and to find it not. It's an opportunity to inquire about the truth and to set oneself free. Thank you, dear Rupert. I needed this. 🙏😊
What to do in case when we ask 'what is it that is hurt?' And your younger child self appears in your mind?
@@osins.5085 where is that younger child now? Isn't that a thought?
@@ckssk2591 umm hmm, that sounds about right. Thank you.
Rupert smiles so beautifully
If you realized right now, that there is no such thing as a person, you will be all set
Then there would be no one to take it "Person"ally. What comes to me is that it is some idea of who I am that feels hurt as in "How can you say that to me? I am such a nice guy." So the hurt would come from the perception that my self-image is under attack. It is the persona that feels hurt. I am defending an image.
@@claudelebel49 Thanks for pointing so clearly. Almost 3 years seeking plus self-inquiry and finally someone helps dissolve this separate self. Apparently all of the reactivity and all other forms of egoic self-preservation have been to protect the separate self which could more clearly be called the self image. Beliefs, concepts and mental images of who "I" am that have been accumulated over the course of a lifetime (more specifically the past) and defended, protected, valued and rooted "in fear" of losing face, of being "less than", of being wrong, of not knowing, criticized, comparison to others, on and on and on - it is nothing more than survival mode for a self image that has no reality "outside of itself" or even any reality at all. Thank you!
Who is hurt?
Can a thought be hurt?
Can a feeling be hurt?
Can a sensation be hurt?
Can infinite awareness be hurt?
So, who or what is it that is hurt?
If you find that one, you can be legitimally be hurt or upset.
But until you find this one, stop being hurt or upset.
Good reasening! Going to tell this to the one who thinks she's upset. Let's see what she says. Pretty sure she will say something like: but I do exist, how else could I be feeling upset 😂
👏👏👏👏👏
The me that is opzet but of you look for it it is never found. 😂
Why would ever worry how other people percieve the words of Rupert.Not everyone is at the same level of growth and evolution-Be fully satisfied if it can help you for a starter !
@@musicisthelanguageofthecos8266 You didn't get the comment. It isn't about others 😂
Ikr 😂
Brilliant, loving, intelligent, inventive... genuinely breathtaking.
Everything explained in one question ‘What is it that is hurt?’ Breathtaking! Thank you Rupert! 🙏
This video perfectly answers a lot of my psychological questions about repressed pain
from my early childhood. I (the ego) bottled it all up way back then and now I (the ego) am now re-experiencing it. I (the Real) never had and does not now have any PAIN! I have had both the egoic pain of the separate self and the non-pain of the Real Self. I'll stick with the REAL!
Makes so much more sense now :)
You dont have it. It just occurs.
@@FreeFlow__ yes, the sensation but there is nobody experiencing it. The thinking mind creates a relationships between the natural occurence of a sensation in the organism and a psychological me that does not exist. When this is seen, pain is still being experienced but there is no suffering as there is nobody that could possible suffer.
@@FreeFlow__ who is folling who?
Rupert Spira explains this stuff better than anyone. I enjoy all his talks.
That's true.
Wow.. this is deep stuff! Thank you
Really deep ! it helps me to come out of my belief that i am hurt and makes me see the big screen☺ Thank u so much :)peace🙂
Spiritual Catechism at its modern Best ! This is indeed the "Direct Path" as Rupert calls it.
Thank you Rupert, once again.
On whose behalf are you being hurt? On whose behalf am I commenting right now? It's like I'm imagining someone doing these actions, who is really just not there.
Rupert's patience and clarity are so inspiring... I just love you Rupert Spira....
It is the identification with the body/mind that feels hurt. Words and thoughts can not physically hurt. The meaning each of our minds assigns to the thoughts is what appears to be the source of the hurt. If you know who you are, a physical MANIFESTATION on the Self, then you know who you are is indestructible.
Rupert, your words are always so refreshing. Thanks for that.
Exsvisite simplicity and elegance. The second coming of Christ. In all of us this time. Namaste
I think the question she tried to ask about other bodyminds is relevant. Granted that every bodymind is equally illusory and that there is only one legitimate I, why must we take other people’s suffering seriously, if we do not do the same to our own feelings? “No one is hurt” seems to be an insufficient answer, because that would justify not acting lovingly towards other bodyminds. It’s a double standard. If we take other people’s suffering seriously, why not our own? We are, after all, mysteriously attached to one particular bodymind, which implies that there should be great care and responsibility towards it. No one in their right mind would ever say to a suffering loved one, “Your suffering is nonsensical because there is no one to be hurt”. On the contrary, we would long to hear them, to find out what’s wrong, to minimize their suffering now and in the future, and this part especially requires that we take their bodymind seriously, so that we can understand their pain and help them prepare for it the next time it comes. Of course, I don’t mean to imply that Rupert is acting unkindly here, but I am saying that this line of reasoning seems practically insufficient. The bodymind will inevitably suffer: if not our own, then somebody else’s. Just saying there is no one hurt is, as the questioner says, like telling the wind not to blow.
Hi Argo! “why must we take other people’s suffering seriously, if we do not do the same to our own feelings?” - 2 things stand out for me with this question: 1) Your level of understanding is not necessarily the same as others. Most people are not aware that they are not their mind. And 2) there are things we feel even when we are in the moment ie. the lose of a loved one. By feeling these feelings we release them a little until they are powerless over us meaning that you can always feel a little sadness when you think of them but it naturally turns to happy thoughts when you remember that they aren’t really gone.
It is the ego that is hurt.
The eye cannot see itself.
The ego too cannot objectively look at itself.
That’s why when the ego looks for the ego it finds ‘nothing there.’
This is one of the most powerfull exercises to see the illusionary nature of the "I" or "me". Thank you for this.
This so easily becomes another head trip, spiritual bypassing, dissociation, splitting off, defending against pain, egoic self-manipulation and getting inculcated into a nondual belief system. If you’re triggered you’re triggered, if you’re hurt you’re hurt. Let it all be there and keep some attention on the background of awareness too, if you like. Stay in your body and breathe, and feel it to heal it. Keep it simple, ride the wave, surrender, and it will naturally resolve into spaciousness and spontaneous insight. Imagine telling a hurting child they don’t exist, it’s inhuman and insane. Well, that’s how we are when we’re hurting, regressed etc.
exactly! you're still saying 'no' to the feeling because you've judged it to be bad/painful or whatever and you want to get rid of it, it will come back and bite you in the end. better to ask why do want to get rid of it? why are you afraid of meeting it? why can't you say yes to the feeling? you might develop compassion for the feeling and it will then relax
If the egoic hurtful words are met with the egoic self there will be hurt. If the hurtful words are met with the I Am presence- the words shall be revealed for what they are. Just words.
Perhaps that is what the true meaning of the old adage ‘sticks and stones shall break my bones-but words will never hurt me.’
Because words are formless. Unless we give them the power fueled by our emotions. Similar to a fuse just waiting be ignited by hot words. We can let the fuse be wet.
I used to examen my ego. We use to teach others: when you hurt when someone says something it must resonate with your own believes. F.i. that you don,t feel worty and that is why you hurt. But now we discovered that there is really no "you" to feel hurt. Now we examen the real self and no longer the ego. What a relieve.What a blessing.What an insight.❤❤❤
I'm consciousness appearing as an ego. I am not the ego.
The dual role that consciousness plays one as the universal and another as the one that is hurt!!
Thanks
Rupert says: “It (hurt) only arises because the nonexistence of the separate self has not been seen.” Wow. Nonexistence of separate self.
What comes to me is that it is some idea of who I am that feels hurt as in "How can you say that to me? I am such a nice guy." So the hurt would come from the perception that my self-image is under attack. It is the persona that feels hurt. I am defending an image.
@@martingarreis The mind of course.
The mind would be thoughts, feelings, images, memories, sense perceptions, etc. They went through all that in the video exchange. None of those can be hurt. Therefore the mind cannot be hurt.
However it can also be the case that the nice guy treats other people with genuine goodness and care, but did not receive the same treatment from other people, which leads to the built-up of resentment. The nice guy may be unhappy about (and depleted from) the imbalance in "give and take", rather than defending his self-image. If you say "the persona is false, so I should be able to rise above the balance of 'give and take' and be a self-sacrificing saint", would you actually have the mental and physical resources to achieve that?
Too much in the head, I would leave the thinking process out of it, go to the heart , keep quiet, see all of these emotions dancing in me or somewhere in the ethers and observe them , feel them, be with them in the silence, I would work on the subtle level instead on the thinking level, it always works for me.
eva w As Rupert said "if you just observe the feelings and then let them go without finding the person who is experiencing them, they will just keep on coming back". If that was happening you wouldn't be saying "it ALWAYS works for me."
Who is the me?
That last question and answer was really helpful!
This is brilliant. As soon as you look for 'what is scared' in my case, I just arrive at awareness, monitoring feelings and sensations in my body but there's nothing there.
It's almost like there is a screen behind my eyes that awareness is watching and they're just thoughts, but I perceive them as me, and when I try to look for that which is affected by the thoughts/feelings, it's like a filter falls and I am just looking at what is in front of me.
Thank you for posting this video. I think it is a summing-up of what we have to do and what we have to find. That's all our lives have to have as a purpose.
A really great Video, thank you very much.
Thank you Rupert. This is so beautiful and so clear.
Thank you for this, I very much relate to the woman's experience. An insightful response from Rupert.
What or who is hurt?
An image that I have of myself?
A self-created identity? A belief?
There seems to be a subtle Choice.
A choosing to feel hurt, a choosing to take it personally, to make it personal ... But it is simply a happening, happening on it's own, including the identifications. All this is happening in me and not to me.
A choice means that there is somebody making a choice. It is a beautifull example of a possible exercise.
There is nobody that could make a choice, there is nobody that can take something personal. If you look for this entity that supposedly has this power you never find it. What you see is that there are thoughts rising in awereness (withouth there being a you really deciding what thoughts wil rise and what thoughts wil lead to action by the body-mind organism). The content of these thoughts is always linked to a so called thinker of thoughts (an I thinking). In direct experience a thinker does not exist without a thought. The feeler does not exist without the feeling etc.
This duality that is created is although never experienced. There is always just a thought, sensation, emotion, perception appearing in awereness. The "me" that is supposedly having this experiences does not exist apart from them. When you investicate to find the "me" (yourself) in a thought, emotion, perception etc there is no "me" to find.
@@exstazius thank you, and could you clarify your second sentence about a possible exercise.
@@claudelebel49 The mind perceives the world through the senses. It seems than that there is a me perceiving a world out there.
To see that this duality is false analyse each sense consciousnesses (vision, hearing, taste etc ...) to see if you find an object or a subject that exists apart from the sense consciousnesses itself.
When you see a tree (as an example) our mind creates a false duality between a seer (a subject) and something seen (the object). In reality there is no object seen and subject seeing but only seeing itself that is being experienced. There has never been an experience of a colour or a form apart from seeing itself. The seer is also not something that is apart from the seeing. The same thing is what is found for hearing (there exist nothing heard and no hearer apart from hearing). When there is touching what is experienced is sensation itself.
Every possible experience that we have of a possible object is always and only a colour, a form and a sensation (hardness etc). There is no object apart from this. All these qualities are just the mind itself (seeing, hearing, tasting etc). If the objects are analysed scientifically on an atomic level it is clear that there is in fact no object present but only energy with no characteristics or qualities.
A solid material object must contain some indestructible substance if it is to be described as truly existent. Without an essential substance, material objects cannot be said “to exist.” If a thing is substantial, it needs to have substance. Without some other thing “to exist upon,” it cannot be called an existent. It is an undeniable truth that the ultimate particles have no substance according to science.
The same applies for the subject (seer, hearer, thinker, feeler etc). There is no seer apart from seeing. There exist no hearer apart from hearing etc ..
"Appearances that in reality are not separate from our mental projections are mistaken for an objective and independent outer part, while our experience of what seems to be an independent inner reality is mistaken for an independent apprehending subject; yet neither of these apparent poles goes beyond the limits of
the intellectual mind." (From the book the great secret of mind)
@@exstazius even identification with thoughts and feelings happens on its own. There is no one doing it. Thank you.
"Be happy that the feeling of hurt has been provoked"
6:14 stunning!!
Absolutely loved this video. Thank you so much for this valuable information. Lots of love from an Australian 🇦🇺❤
Unbelievably simple and powerful
But the question is „Why do these feelings come up? Why do they hurt? It is painful, it is physical. Its not like we recognize that the separate self doesnt exist and the feeling disappears.
In a moment of anxiety or hurt, i can't just play with philosophical ideas. It won't make me calm. It's too intellectual and don't gives a place for the feeling,as if feelings are not legitimate. I am sorry, i can't except that kind of approach.
Feeling are certainly legitimate when they are genuine and derive from the core of your existence and not out of the fake personality the society has forced you to obtain for the obvious reasons.You have identified yourself with the mask you are wearing and has been accepted by you as the real thing which is not and the feelings which are produced on behalf of it are not valid and thats why they do not bring bliss and joy but they always end up bringing pain and suffering.
Profound shortcut to the truth, pure gold…. Thanks Rupert!
+ Rupert Spira: Say I'm 2 y.old. Genuine, still no false personality. An adult hits me & mistreats me (screams angrily at me) b/c she is a sick person and dislikes me. I get angry rightly. I am being hurt but cannot defend myself. Awareness or my real I is not being hurt. But, is MY EGO being hurt? I don't believe I wud have formed one yet, so young. So cud there be such a thing as being hurt in the body (by hitting) and the emotions (by unfair mistreatment) that is not Ego or True Self? Any comments?
Can we do the same for love. Do we ask “who is it that loves?” Is this perhaps what it means to say “it is not i who loves, rather I am love”.
You are totally correct.
Wouldn't the same Ben said of anger and any other feeling or sensation....I am anger?
I do like how this "I am love" made me realize I don't need another to fulfill me tho so thank you
Sincere gratitude to Master !
The one who is hurt is a person whose personality is the mask that people wear throughout their lives veiling awareness which is the true nature of our being.So our projection of who we are in the society is the one who needs to defend its excistance and justify the idea and image the others have about him/her.
Who is hurt? The 'little me' we confuse / identify ourselves with, and it's story of being a fragile victim. That is what is common in all the hurts (anger, jealousy, irritation,...), the separate fictitious self wanting to strengthen itself.
Thank you, Rupert ❤️
Man, this lady asking the questions seems to be super gorgeous and charming
Beautifull absolute grace ✨🙏❤️🔥🔥thank u x
THANK YOU, rupert
This principle must be the same when waking from nightmares, l guess. Anyone else finding that the fewer thoughts one has in daytime the more vivid dreams one has? Thank you for posting.
She lost the opportunity to observe her as an I , when she felt uneasiness or discomfort in talking and it was opportunity that she can observe who was feeling uneasiness or discomfort.
This is like a therapy. So helpful! Thank you sir! 🙏
I am learning, thanks.
Beautiful.. i have the same question as her last question. Thank you for sharing. 🙏🏼
Thank you Rupert.Its the dual role played by the universal consciousness.The actor is not different from the acted.Beautiful.
There is so much packed in this one video....the one who is hurt is not there! Wow!
At 14' ... Feeling and allowing is not enough. As long as I feel there is a person here, it will continue. He seems to be saying that the Path of Surrender is not enough, that the nut of Knees needs to be seen through or broken.
IFS therapy can help identify those hurt parts of the separate self. You work with those “parts”, heal them, and eventually the parts trust in the True Self.
YES!! She GOT it there for a second. Lol. Then she asked another question.
LOL, yes, she (the Real) got it and then she (the False) quickly changed the subject. that often happens at 12 step sharing meetings when folks get close to something significant and then quickly jump right over it!
rupert trapped her (separated self) but didn't expose it, just left it out there for her to find too. then i think she caught on because of her laugh
The separate self seems to need/want to bounce off, or latch onto things, emotions etc. In an attempt maybe to deny its illusory self
When hurt, or under any feeling, emotion, you must try to feel the I who is hurt. This is the most important. Observe until you can feel it clearly. This is difficult. But dont try to stop the feeling of hurt. Then continue observing the I without resisting the feeling of hurt. You will discover that this I is something focused or localized inside. Continue observation. You will find out that this I exist because you identified yourself with hurt. The hurt became alive. You became the hurt. If you continue investigation, you will discover that you are not the hurt, not this I, but this I is inside you. You will be aware of yourself as borderless something (i cannot find a word for that) and this focused I at the same time. And with your will you can stop the identification and the feeling will be stopped also.
Thank you....
Thank you😥😊
The feelings that arise are painful so I am aware of pain
Hahahha.. I love this video. Best Rupert video
This one was so amazingly funny and genius.
i.e
Pain(hurt) in the body< aware of the pain(experiencer)
But once you have the contractions we need to feel the pain to release it. It doesn’t make sense to say there is no pain when the contraction has already occurred. I know Rupert more and more says that we need to feel the sensation but in this clip he is negating the woman’s pain by saying there’s no self who suffers. That insight is useful to avoid contractions in the future but we shouldn’t use it to repress emotions.
The pain is present. The me having the pain and suffering does not. Suffering wil end, possible fysical pain or even emotional pain wil still possible occur. We suffer because we experience a so called me having the pain, being hurt, being angry.
When it is seen that there is no me - being the "possesor"- of these sensations the suffering ends. This does not mean that the body wil not experience pain, that emotions wil still rise. The brain still reacts to incoming stimuli. The difference is that there is no me taking ownership of them.
He's not saying not to feel the hurt (repress it) or pretend it's not there. He's saying to look for that which is feeling hurt.
I believe he was being tongue in cheek when he said, well, just don't feel it anymore until you find the one. He said that, I think, to underscore the importance of looking. The lady understood that since she laughed at the comment.
Brilliant.
Thank you Sir for such a NYC clarification I m from India what I observe that all spiritual teachers they say the same thing I keep listening all of them can you pl bless for enlightenment I m Ghanshyam from Indore ,India
98% of human beings have parts of themselves that they are very disconnected from. That they have isolated, pushed aside. One of the main reasons they are involved in spirituality is so that they can transcend them and have nothing to do with them and feel really free and enlightened anyway. And while it's true that you can transcend things and go beyond, you don't have to be identified, it doesn't define you, its not who you are and all that's true, But until those aspects of your Being that feel disconnected get reconnected they will keep reappearing to be loved. They are looking for connection and acceptance and it's just a reconnection that comes from no longer rejecting them or being astranged from them, it's a turning back towards them. That's what compassion is. Not being phony, I'm going to love you to death until your gone and I never experience you again.... But it knows that and that doesn't work, that's phony, that's not real love. With real love and compassion theres no getting rid of anything, nothing. So any part of you that you have pushed aside, it's that part that will keep pulling you back and it will keep pulling you back until you remember that nothing gets left behind, nothing - maybe temporarily but not ultimately. Nobody gets the option to leave any part of themselves behind,whether you deem it illusurory, real or unreal nothings left behind....
What would happen to future generations if sessions like this one were a subject in schools, like math or biology? I think that the rate of unhappiness and conflict between people would drop by 80% in the next 50 years.
🙏 Really great !
Re: "I don't want to say it's the Separate Self!" Jim: LOL, that is being said BY the separate self! The separate self, that she believes herself to be, is refusing to admit that it EXISTS (in her mind). Rupert: What is being hurt? Seeker: (with an embarrassed snicker) I don't know! (Meaning: I am too afraid or ashamed to say that my EGO gets hurt!) Rupert: It's not enough to just allow the pain to come and go. (The separate, non-existent self must be seen through and not believed in - then there will be no one to get hurt!)
How can something non-existent feel anything?
+Scott Smith Go to the theater. Allow yourself to be drawn into the drama that unfolds among the characters of the play. Weep in association with their pain. Laugh in association with their joy. Now, what if you imagined that one of the characters of the play was you? In fact, what if you were the main character and all the events of the play revolved around you? That is the essence of the separate self. It is the central fictional character in a drama so compelling and believable that you forget all about the true "I" that you really are. Instead you experience everything that is ostensibly experienced by the fictional "I" of the play.
Steve, You are wrong only in your constraining view of localized consciousness. You say that the separate self is an illusion. Perhaps so, if perceived from an absolute non-dual point of view. But here you are, typing a response to an illusion. You assert non-dualism, yet act as if dualism was a reality. Odd. We all seem to act as if we are real, even though we assert otherwise. Perhaps it is because both dualism and non-dualism are indeed useful ways to look at our existence. Perhaps we should accept both as useful truths.
absoluteholism.weebly.com/
+Scott Smith I screwed up my metaphor in a few ways. And I'm a professional theater director, so I'm particularly disgusted with myself (not really, but "disgusted" is kind of a fun word). I'm going to revisit, revise and repost the thing tomorrow.
Scott Smith do we accept the earth is flat and also spherical? Does the separate self exist or is it true that upon investigation it's only a conditioned reactive response that can be undone and has no separate existence?
Everything that's happening is not happening to me (my being) my self!
very good!
The hurt is not in the words, it's in the absence of love. Words delivered by an individual may have a completely different feel when delivered by someone else. It's not so much what you say as where you are coming from. All the while, admitting that how and by whom they are received is also part of the equation.
I think it is a very interesting question what she asked there in the middle: "Why am I aware of only this body? If i'm awareness.." I used to wonder it too, until it was realized, that since this body exists in awareness, it is aware of itself and its limits. Someone has to be aware of it, it cannot go beyond its bodily limits so it just exists there in awareness, which is the real me. It's like a fish in the sea, it can see other fish, but it can never merge with others, they cant really meet, but the background is the same water.
This question came to me a few days ago too :)
My response was: how could I be aware of all forms, elemental, mineral, vegetable, animal and human? Someone needs to be responsible for this body and its energy dynamics.
Same awareness, same information :) and same questions and answers lol.
Different only in how each soul absorbs.
Unbelievable.
Thank you! Love from Brazil.
Yes, this question is a very good question. I had this question with me for a long time. If Im not the body... Why am I not aware of other bodies too? Why only this body? Is an englightened human being aware of others body? All the 7 billion? Sure not. But if not, then awareness is limited only into one body. A guru is not aware of my physical pain in my leg, so how can he say he is unlimited awareness and perceives his own body the same way as other people's body?
I feel so thirsty to get a logical answer for this. If we can say 1+1=2, why cant we say how awareness is working? Why is that its so unexplainable? Sometime I feel its like a very hard level in a computer game what Im unsuccesfully trying to finish for thousands of hours but noone told me that the programmer made the level impossible to finish. Why?... Why isnt it easier?
Tolle Rálom Our bodies have their limits. You cannot go into another individuals body or mind. Consciousness doesn't know anything physical, it is blank formless background, it enables the body to paint itself and the senses into this field of awareness that is around you. That blankness, is "infinite", you cannot show its limits or borders. Realizing that this body appears in the awareness just as much as anyone elses will be a liberating feeling. Apologies its hard to put into words.
Thanks for answer. Is that your own experience or you understood some teachings?
Sorry for late answer, but yes. I have written from my experience, the knowing. Knowledge borrowed from teachings and others is a good stepping stone, but to get the real thing, go to the experiencing and be with it, and things will start unfolding. It is the thinking that veils it.
classical Ramana Marharshi question
@rupertspira If possible, please increase the volume while editing before uploading. It's hard to hear them. It has also been the same case in meditations.
Your speech is athentic medicine for mental suffering!
Maybe she is supposed to act on them to heal something, my journey has been a combination of processing feelings without acting on them or finding a loving way to express my feelings sometimes it is correct to confront people.
I am new here. I would answer it’s the ego. But what’s behind ego have no idea
On the one hand i love Rupert for helping me shift negative blocks and on the other i find some things contradictory - such as when the women said “should i just let things arise and then pass” and he said No, i thought that was the main message in his teachings - i suppose the other part of his teachings is as well as letting things arise without attachment and let them dissolve in presence is the other aspect which is, what is getting hurt?
Im asking this as i feel a knot of anxiety in my stomach and the feeling of that uncomfortable knot contradicts the statement that nothing is hurting, no feeling no image nothing is hurting, i suppose i could let that statement slide for depression because his teachings work well with that, but for anxiety or for example a migraine, both of which i have right now its hard to apply the statement that nothing is hurting
But something has to rise up in you and say No. For hurt to happen there has to be a resistance.
@4:00 👍
I would have liked him to reply about expectations of what love or relationships should be. I suppose he didn't on purpose.
Now find the "you" that can choose to not be hurt, That will be where the hurt resides. We can take our unresolved hurts to other incarnations, so there must be a part of us that holds onto them. I think it is the soul or subconscious mind. You cannot point to a mind, but we know we have one.
oh wow... I doesn't exist! But why do we do this?
Maybe a soul, an atma is being hurt? What would be the answer? In dualistic philosophies they accept an existing atman, who is separate from the Supreme God. In this case what would be the answer?
I need to ask " myself " . . . on whose behalf is the feeling of hurt arising ??? Dr. Abraham Low says people are rude, crude, and indifferent. But they're not necessarily aiming at you. Therefore apparently it's up to me to accept or reject whatever they say or do as directed at "me." So is Mr. Spira saying to question the "me" i assume exists ???? Whatever they perceive as "me" is not the real me. Just asking.
I feel hurt
Tell us about that I
*Akward silence*
When i ask who is the one that is hurt, my little self comes to mind. What do i do?
Can someone answer this question... So when I get offended or hurt... I've started asking who is hurt, I'll ask immediately following feeling sad or hurt or angry... With in seconds of asking that question, the feeling leaves and whoever whatever is hurt is gone... Is this normal? Or supposed to happen?