I come from generational trauma
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- Опубліковано 17 лют 2024
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I never used to understand all these things about my wife. Then we lived with her mom for a while and I get it now, unfortunately. The last straw was when my kids were picking up toys into toy boxes and her mom screamed at them, dumped all the toy boxes, and told the kids to redo it the “right way”, aka some organization she had in her head and refused to share. I called her out and told her to calm tf down, which she wasn’t used to. She still hates me for standing up to her.
She then has the gall to tell us “someday your kids will tell you how awful of a parent you were”. I once told her that my siblings and I have never felt that way about my mom and that maybe she was actually the problem. Shockingly, she denied everything and still assumes everyone is just out to get her. I’ve often had to step in the middle because my wife will still believe her criticisms. She hates me because she knows she doesn’t hold that kind of power over me.
That’s a shame U still with her ? X
@@mcmc8320 yes but we moved away from her mom which has been really helpful for her healing.
Thank God your wife has you. My mother was very abusive when we were kids. My sister has been married for thirty years now & my mother hates my brother in law for the same reasons you described. He has nothing for her bs.
I don't deal with her anymore either, but he inspired me 30 years before I finally cut her off. It was so beautiful to see someone immune to her sickness.
@@cicin9313 thank you for that encouragement. We’re finally feeling some relief after moving away, but there were several years where it was incredibly exhausting to be the one to stand up to her. My wife recognized pretty early on that her mom was not a great role model, but the fear that she’ll be slapped for standing up to her mom is still there.
@@ghfan2011 u must be soulmates. Have a nice day x
I come from generational trauma, so everything in this short makes absolute sense to me, lol.
I went to the comments to say the same things. I hope you’re doing well. Hugs
Thank you, I am doing well. Hope the same for you 💜
Y’all are not alone! I’m right here with you. Sending love and prayers 😊
@@kristaaaay7952 💜
Like too much... staaahhhppp.
I come from generational trauma and I have no idea how to ask for help and have had to do everything on my own.
Feel you
Same
Yeah, sadly this 💯
Yep even when terrible things were done to you, you internalize it because you were never taken seriously when you would tell someone. So you grow up being asked why you never tell anyone anything and why you don't make friends and stay to yourself. 🤷🏽
I feel the same. It feels overwhelming sometimes. And unfair.
I come from generational trauma and I feel like I have to be hyper villigent. Especially when things are going "good" 😬
Same. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop. 😔
Word!
Me too ✋️
I am hyper vigillent all the time! ❤
Waiting for the bad thing to happen.
I come from generational trauma, so my entire 20s has been a healing journey.
You got started early...I started therapy in my late 20s. Most women didn't start until their 60s. Thank Goddess you younger ladies are figuring it out before you have spent your lives putting up with that patriarchal crap.
Can't relate to the healing part but I'm glad you started to ❤️
I didn’t leave home until 25 and it literally took me about 10 years until I got over most of it. I still wouldn’t say I’m normal but I don’t hate my mother anymore; my sister still does. I’d like to add that after my dad died, I routinely visit mom to see if she needs help. One day she was bitching while I was attempting to replace a light fixture. She kept complaining about how long it was taking because she had no electricity in the kitchen. Finally I had enough and said, “I don’t have to help you. Please stop or I will leave and you will be stuck.” She never complained again!
This... 😔
I come from generational trauma and am still learning how to heal in my 50's and have accepted that "healing" and growing will be a part of my lifes journey.
I come from generational trauma, so sometimes the idea of talking to or being around people causes me to stress out and overthink everything.
Yes😢 sucks! This is why I have to drink before I go into a group setting.
At first I tough I was the only one. I am scare of people assuming I am a witch .
Feeling like I’ve done something wrong and analyzing everything I say / do afterwards is a struggle I’m learning to change
I come from Generational trauma so the older I get the less I see my toxic relatives. Thank God
With you 💕💕💕
😂😂 Me too. So good to let them go.
me too ❤❤❤❤
I wish i could live guilt free doing something like that. Ive droped the OTT toxic ones, but i have other family that are toxic, but they are a product of their own upbringing, so i cant just let go. Props to you.
Same 😂 🕊️🕊️🕊️
I come from generational trauma so I had to suffocate who I really was. And now I struggle to set boundaries and know who I deeply am.
I come from generational trauma, so I learned to stand up straight, love myself, not care what others think, and know that I'm a unique person who doesn't need to be like everyone else!
In my 30's
After lots of therapy😂😂😂
Be proud of your efforts! You’re still young. You could be just starting to question the abuser’s or abusers’ assessments, in your 70s. Trauma does stay with us a long time; that’s for sure!
So happy you got the help you needed to undo the damage done to you. I know you probably still struggle with it sometimes, and though I don't know you, I'm proud of you for claiming your selfhood. Much respect!
@@sciencenotsrigma So sad but so true. Wishing you the best! It's never too late to move forward and know that you're stronger than what's happened to you! 💜
@@Fnordathoth Thank you for that! Yes I still struggle but I've come such a long way that the efforts and work I've put in have gotten me ahead by leaps and bounds! I appreciate your kind words and wishing you the Best! 😁💜
Awesome!!!❤
I come from generational trauma. So I’m fiercely independent, and never ask for help, even when I truly need it.
Yep. We learned very early that th eonly person who looks after us is us.
Yes!😂
I come from generational trauma, so now I'm raising my kids in a loving, emotionally stable and healthy home. ❤️❤️
Wholesome alert!
Kudos
yes!!! The most important thing!
Exactly!!! The pattern stops HERE!!
I try to do so but have to admit its really hard and i don't do as well as i hoped I'll do 😢
Which is why I DON’T often share my childhood stories, instant mood killer 😂🤣🤣
I feel you.😅
Same. When I was 10, I got confused when nobody laughed at my story of how Dad threw a can of Pepsi at me but I cleverly dodged and it broke the triple paned window behind me!
@revelskid dip, dodge, and duck! Gotta get those quick reflexes some how? How do other people get them? 😂 but seriously, same. Why does no one think I'm a bad ass when they learn my step dad conditioned me to see abuse as "character building" moments? Oh yea! Because it WAS abuse! 🙈 doh!
@@redhairgrneyes I think you’re a bad ass because you not only survived, but developed a sense of proportion and humor!
A lot of ppl in the past have looked at me as disposable or easy to use once they found out my past of abuse. It's a never ending cycle and sucks. I just don't talk about my childhood anymore with anyone or how deeply it effected me.
I come from generational trauma, and everything was always FINE, no matter how bad things really were. We just had to look perfect on the outside, even while everything was falling apart inside our four walls.
Thanks to 30 years of therapy, I am healing.
Thankyou for this comment, and for the years you've devoted to recovery. "It takes as long as it takes", they say. I'm so impressed with your courage and tenacity.
30??
🙁I shared with a co-worker (at a part-time job I had) just a little bit of my childhood experiences, and her response was…. (in regards to my Parents), she said ‘and you still talk to them?’
They conditioned me (albeit) unknowingly to be a people pleaser (who judges everything and everyone) and suffers from terrible self-esteem.
I literally was robbed of having any kind of real career or hope because I just feel too emotionally crippled to have any kind of full time job. Dealing with people and relationships, super challenging for me.
Keep moving onward, all you need is a mustard seed of hope and things can start swinging in a positive direction.
I mean I kind of agree with your coworker because if they're that terrible and they probably haven't changed since your childhood then they don't deserve you in their life. I sincerely hope and I'm not saying this with any judgment because I definitely understand the whole generational trauma thing but I really hope that you get therapy and you learn boundaries and you distance yourself from those family members. You deserve so much more and that includes to be happy and to not be around ppl who tolerate you when you should be celebrated.
Try ACA -Adult Children of Addiction and Dysfunction. It has truly saved my life, my marriage, my relationship with other people and kids. It’s a program to help us learn how to be our own loving parent, to nurture our inner child, to take responsibility and break the cycle of dysfunction, to stop negative inner critic and self talk! ❤❤ ❤❤
I complete cut my family out of my life, it was unhealthy for me. I am finally at peace and forgive them because they weren’t taught how to work on themselves. I am taking responsibility to help myself, to heal, to not let my past control me or my happiness.
@@jclyntoledo exactly. No contact is an option if the individual is ready.
Sometimes it's the only path to healing...
Don't set yourself on fire to keep other people warm. 🤗🤗♥️♥️
The sense of humor thing is so true. 😂
Hi❤
I have a sense of humor but I don't understand why we would have a sense of humor if we has trauma, do you know? And if so, would you please explain 😊
@@huelaura4691if you don’t laugh, you cry. Also humour is a good way to hold everyone’s attention and receive approval from others.
@evakurl oh I see. I laugh at my mistakes because I see no point of feeling bad and because it isn't that big of a deal in reality, but its like coping with the trauma
@@huelaura4691it's a coping mechanism. It lightens the mood in stressful situations.
I'll give a personal example.
I used humor/sarcasm when my parents were yelling at me or other family members. It made the moment less intense and breathable. If that makes sense.
The sarcasm I used only when I got angry and was not allowed to speak the truth so I said it in a sarcastic way. Only when I was very angry. Sarcasm is passive/hidden anger.
@Alex-vj6wr yes I agree. And thank you explaining 💛
My dark sense of humor is amazing
I have that, too.
Me too. I feel called out. And I'm tired of being funny.
I learned that humor helps me get my theraputic point across faster to my people than being empathetic
Mine too, but now that I'm in grad school to be a therapist, therefore surrounded by professional and aspiring clinicians, it has ceased being funny and disarming and gets me looks of pity or directives to "deal with my trauma responsibly." I don't want to. I want to be a tortured comedian. Is that so wrong?
No one understands us lol I’ve lost friendships because of this 😢😂
I come from AND still unwillingly in generational trauma… so when I try to speak out, reach out for help( because no one can take action against without help); I either get treated the same way my family treats me or like I’m crazy and unheard/ ignored/ unbelieved/ gaslighted/ minimized ect ect ect. It’s a long road still in a world of denial and struggle. Hang in there all, I’m not giving up on you or myself 💜🙏💜🫂🗣️
I come from generational trauma, so these two ladies are a godsend. Who knew CPTSD info could be not only educational but also kind of entertaining?
I come from generational trauma, so I look after everyone else, but not myself...
And I always say "I'm fine!!!", even when I'm absolutely NOT!
My trauma therapist cries for me every session.
Shit Nicole, I better stop. This will be a long series of shorts....😂
Well the fact that you're in therapy does mean that you are working on yourself and I'm proud of you for that bc that's hard work. I'm sure your therapist knows it's a long journey for you but baby steps and you'll get there one day.
@@jclyntoledo
I'm struggling for words.
Thank you 🙏💜
So true, even if my life is in shackles, I pretend that I'm fine, when I am absolutely not!
It is just a BIG known secret. Everybody knows but not from my mouth.
@@t00862
Nobody knew, even my "nearest and dearest".
They're horrified and shocked because after 54 years, I AM changing.
I'm putting me first, setting boundaries and being as honest as they've always been (without the judgemental criticism, of course)!!
You are as special and wonderful as the day you were born! ❤️
I come from generational trauma so I always put on a happy face, a smile and a laughter even though deep down I was suffering real bad to the point of wanting to end my life from childhood and on. And noone knew how much I was suffering because I hid it all away because nobody cared enough to get to know me or my feelings and I felt very empty and alone.
I'm so sorry you felt that way. Always remember don't set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
@@lb6823 Thank you, it is a work in progress ❤ i have come a long way from that place now and I don't have to put on a mask anymore. our inner children need our attention and compassion, reparenting ourselves.
That first one hit me like a ton of bricks!!! I hate my need to over explain myself.
Seriously!!!!
Me too!!!!!
Same here. I'm trying to work on it, but it's hard.
Here too. Hubby calls me out in this regularly.
I look at it as a boundaries thing. I don't know what healthy boundaries look like I'm 60 years old and this evening for the first time someone told me that I have the right tell others how I feel about how they're treating me. Really?
Same here...so I left. And now I can tell the people in my life what I struggle with, and they support me or, if they can't, respect my needs & boundaries without holding them against me. I highly recommend leaving or reducing contact if you want to.
❤
I went no contact with my family after years of therapy and trying to be in relationship to them. Unfortunately, they didn't want to see me for who I am, instead growing upset at me for living independently and cultivating my own values and skillset. I wasn't valuable as a sister or daughter unless I enabled everyone at all times. Sometimes you just gotta get free❤
I come from generational trauma. When I ask my family about what happened, they tell me to get over it and don't you dare say anything to outsiders
Tell your story.. it helps heal your soul. Inspire change in yourself and others!
@kristahackleylmt2064 my story is really long but long story short, my brother abused me (SA'd, physically, mentally, socially, etc) from the age of 3 to 13/16 (some abuse stopped at 13 years old and the rest stopped at 16) my mom found out about what was happening (my school found out and told her) 1.5 months before my dad passed away once my mom found out, my brother stopped the SA stuff but everything thing else was still happening. When my dad passed away, she left me and him alone at home for hours. I started self hurting and staving myself, and my mom never could understand why I was depressed and so miserable. She used to tel me "I can tell her anything" but when I tried to tell her things it turned into "I'm such a horrible mom" and she turned herself into the victim while crying in the middle of our conversation, nothing ever changed with our relationship while I was a minor she constantly protected my brother at my expense and when CPS finally found out she told me that she was able to get my previous school to not call CPS in the first place "because she was going to handle it" which really didn't happen, she just swept it under the rug and called it good. When me and her went out together, she would leave me byslef for hours at the restaurant, movies, etc, and wondered why I never wanted to be around her. When I turned 18 she moved across the country to "go back to college" (I was still in my senior year of high school) she moved in with jer friend (the one she was seeing for hours and left me alone with my brother or by myself on durijg our bonding time) I told her she would regret not spending more time with me later. 2 years ago I got the call that she was moving my brother to where she lives because he was struggling and begged me for a do over to move out there, I told her no I'm not moving far away with no friends, no job, I would have to break up with my now husband just to move in with people who caused me so much pain and misery. My mom hates it when I talk about it because it puts her and my brother is such a bad light
Whew, I felt all that but especially the sense of humor thing. PLEASE LIKE ME! I TELL JOKES!
Thank you, ladies. Ouch.
What do you get when you cross an elephant 🐘 with a squirrel 🐿️?
An animal that never forgets where it left it's nuts 😅
@@Murdoch-ck8mv😂🤣Hahahahahahaha! LOVE THIS!!!!
So true! There is a massive common thread of sarcasm in these comments along with dark humor with a foundation of cruel reality. We all get it apparently and our dark sarcastic nature's DO serve a greater purpose. Hehe keeping us from ☠️.
@@redhairgrneyes yes, yes, precisely! laughter keeps us from crying and doing terrible things to ourselves and others. i believe a well developed sense of sarcasm is a superpower. you see reality for what it is, but you riff on it to make it somewhat bearable.
I wish my generational trauma was in a more bougie neighborhood like that though. 🙃
😂😂😂
😂😂😂 same same , FFS I needed a good laugh ::sighs::
😂😂😂😂🤣
There’s the sense of humor! Gotta lol for the silver linings.
@tgm2754 I had the same thought! I grew up in a double wide trailer. But trauma ironically can still exist in rich hoods too. My friend is an example of that.
...That having an amazing sense of humor because you have no choice, hits 🥺💔💯
Why can’t people talk like this in real life? It is what it is 🤷♀️
Wait we're not doing this in real life?? Whoops missed that memo - 😅😂
People don't want to be known. It is unfortunate because the only way we can have meaningful connections and lives is by opening up, being real. I am not saying you should do it with strangers or overdo it, but if at some point people don't open up, either they have perfect lives or are hiding.
Because they can’t get paid for it In real life lol.
Who wants to admit that pastor Master has to get a BJ from one of his kids before he goes and does his job_ I'm so sorry _ but why are u sorry?
They don't know themselves and they have deceived themselves
I don't want to share my family stories anymore. I don't want to compare myself to everyone else anymore. I've gone no contact with family and friends who tell crazy stories where they're the heroes in every story they tell.I'm sick of these people and their exaggerated stories I call LIES!!!
I come from generational trauma so being a perfectionist and being a workaholic is my coping mechanism.
The last one totally sounds like my mom and aunt, putting out the false narratives for decades 🙄🙄
I become very loud (without knowing it) because of the trauma of being picked on constantly. Subconsciously I think they cannot hear me when I want them to stop or just feeling unheard.
😞💚 I'm so sorry
@@Alex-vj6wr Thank you for your empathy. I really do try to remain calm so that I don't blow out people's ear drums.
I completely relate. 🫶🏻
I do this too 😢
I wonder if I do the same but the opposite. I speak quietly and am extremely soft spoken.
I think it's bc I didn't want to share much as a kid at home, and I am an introvert, too. My sister was an extrovert with undiagnosed adhd and I remember my Mom saying my older sister was too much and talked too much so I learned just to listen and tried to be quiet bc I couldn't get a word in edge wise and her energy exhausted me and i thought if i was loud Mom would find me annoying, too. She still was "bothered by me too" bc I didn't clean things to her standards and was "too shy and sensitive."
I love my sister and of the two of us she's the successful career woman and I worked grossly underpaid project management/admin jobs before quitting to raise my kid. I feel like a failure somedays but most days i try to focus on what is good.
Now, that I am older, I wish I talked loudly bc I constantly have to "speak up" and when I do I feel aggravated. It's terrible when trying to meet new people or just ordering things at a restaurant. I wish I could be loud but it's difficult for me both physically and emotionally it just feels "not me."
Anyway, sorry, this was way too long. I just wanted to say I wonder if we speak loudly and softly for similar reasons. Your comment really resonated with me.
I genuinely want to know if there are people out there who don't have trauma and are just born into healthy families, have healthy relationships and healthy emotional lives. Either I don't know any because I'm sadly not attracted to or by these people, or they just don't exist.
My boyfriend has an amazing family. They love and deeply care for each other and spending time with them was very hard in the beginning for me as it was too painful to watch what I never had. Now it's better ❤❤❤
I think I can say that I have a healthy family and healthy relations with people. Especially my mum is the best! ❤
I have friends with all sorts of issues with their relatives, and it amazes me every time when I hear their stories...
I know many and I just push them away to protect them from my misfortune and the resulting mayhem and dysfunction lol I really struggle to relate to healthy, happy people so anyone who actually knows me is also in a dysfunctional family/relationship bc normal people just can't understand or relate.
I have always been attracted to others with traumatic backgrounds. And yet I do know people and marriages that seem relatively normal, and have good relationships with their parents. Finally at about the age of 55 years old I did some deep trauma work and rooted out some poisonous lies I’d believed about myself and my parents implanted over years of childhood trauma. Slowly but surely the attraction I felt for trauma-laced people began to wane as I began to love the truth of myself. I’ve begun to see these people not as attractive, but as really broken people who can offer me nothing and would only be a stumbling block to me. I don’t need someone else to make me whole anymore. I don’t need someone to complete me. If I were ever to marry again, I would run from anyone I fell head-over-heels for. I want nothing to cloud my judgement.
Sense of humor that’s what we can really hang on to!
My family didn't so much keep it "secret" as remain reclusive to foster an echo chamber; generational trauma comes in all shapes and sizes, amazing content as usual❤❤
OMG compared to every family in the neighborhood, that was us!!!
I love your videos! So validating and informative, but in a highly entertaining way! Thank you! 🙏😅👍
I normally don’t comment on people’s work but these shorts are so universally helpful and needed, I can’t even contain my gratitude 😫😭👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I am Native. I come from generational trauma that began for us in 1492.
Yes indeed. Respect to you.
This is on my mind a lot lately as I’m facing the facts about my ancestors. I hope everyone that comes from colonizers keeps digging, reaching back and facing what happened, to who and what that means moving forward. I don’t have answers but I do know we have to face what our ancestors have done.
Same cuz. Dealing with anger and rage for the colonizer. How can we live our way of life when we're supposed to be living like the white man? Doesn't make sense.
Sorry about that. 😢
I am part Native. I refuse to be a victim of something from 400 years ago. M arr
When i started dating i realized how different and regular some peoples lives are. We made it through ❤
This I totally relate to. I come from generational trauma, my family never Believed in therapy so I was always told to "just deal with it" or "you'll understand when you're my age" and my personal fave "why you crying? I'll give you something to cry about"
After years of looking back, I understand my family didn't have all the answers to even help themselves, but too stubborn to ask for help. Which is why I don't see them anymore. I started asking for help years ago and it did me wonders. That's why I recommend therapy.
But the sweaters are so chic!😭
Husband and I both actively trying day by day, actually moment to moment, not to pass on the GT to our daughter.
I come from generational trauma, and I don't talk about my upbringing because it is too embarrassing. The few I have told, didn't get it anyway and thought I was lying to them.
This might be my new favorite channel 🎉🎉🎉
Im reconnecting with my family right now. They've come to realize how things used to be and that things were not okay. I left for years and finally feel that now is a good time to reconnect and even if they try to push me I will stand my ground and hold my boundaries. I will accept them the way they are and cherish our relationship and if they try to do anything that isn't healthy then I am going to mention it but I know I cannot change them. All I can do is change my reaction/response to them and let them know that I am a different person now. The boundaries are going to be the hardest part. I still struggle with the realization that I am connecting with them again, even when I didn't think it would be possible; I didn't think I would ever stop being angry at them but over time I see that they did the best they could even though some of it was wrong, but they did not know any better. How can I remain angry forever when they clearly are sorry about what they've done.
I used to be so angry with them though; I thought if they had protected me back then, if they had raised us up with love and instead of stressful obedience, I would have turned out differently. Maybe I would have felt strong enough to stand up for myself too but there is no way of knowing. They were raised a certain way and they brought that into our family because its all they knew. So I cannot be angry with them for not knowing better.
You can absolutely hold them accountable for not doing the work. And you can do this at the same time as attempting to reconcile. Don't be surprised if it doesn't work out. If they are not in therapy they are not going to change. I tried reconciliation and didn't realize how sick they all were and it cost me dearly. At least be sure you are financially independent and don't cosign for anything. I would also advise not working for anyone in the family either, because when they stop functioning and the business collapses, they won't care about you. When you get away from narcs your money takes a hit and it can take months to recover. Speaking from experience.
@ChristineSpringerElaine I agree with you. My parents are very intelligent and not interested in changing. They are negative.. miserable people. I had to leave the state to get my distance. I'm 49 and have finally realized the battle is lost.. they are only getting worse into their 70's. I've decided my life is worth more than taking the abuse.. so I'm in another state living my best life. Enjoying every day like it may be my last. Thank you for sharing.
I come from G Trauma so i used to seek out substance aggressive addicts to take care of & name them bfs because they resemble my parents & siblings that forced me take care of them when i was a child .i m a work i progress & it was me , NOT Therapy that got my issues identified & hlf healed after 6yrs of meditation .
I come from generational trauma. I did all of this until I stopped speaking to my mother and got better.
Yes.. I agree.
I have changed for the positive.. by keeping my distance from negative people and continually doing the work to heal.. change.. grow.
@@kristahackleylmt2064 ❤️
Both my parents were a result of generational trauma. I can see how they work with my brother and I to break the cycle every day
The I’m so sorry reaction to sharing family stories, I felt that….
I come from generational trauma. Of course the cycle stopped with me and im an amazing mother.
I come from generational trauma. My adult cousins and I have had to build our own relationships in our 30s and 40s because our parents couldn’t get their shit together when we were young so we were unwillingly kept apart. 😞
I am estranged from most family because of this.. you give me hope. Thank you for sharing.
@@kristahackleylmt2064 anything is possible if you’re brave enough to be vulnerable and reach out. You may find they had wanted to all along but didn’t know how. Wishing you lots of love and healing 🫶🏻
I love this! Thank you 🙏
Yup!! SO glad that a lot of people in the last few generations are facing truth and working on healing. ☺️👍
I’m a generational curse breaker and I relate to all these!!! It’s not easy but it’s possible!!!
❤lol love it!!😂❤ …this is describing my whole childhood and teenage hood and adult hood and romantic relationships lol 😢😅😮🎉😂❤❤❤❤❤
Thanks Ladies 😁 you're hilarious 😂❤
Love how we MASTER conceiling the TRUTH of trauma. It's now time to open up Pandora's Box and heal our wounds ❤
i am literally DYING hahaha. All of your guys' shorts are spot on; you have a truth gift! Thank you so much
these videos are so healing. thank you both!!!
Oof, way too much of this, excluding the comparing to other families part. The hardest; people pleasing and over explaining. I work on it every day to be one step further from where I've been.
So encouraging! Exactly, the sympathy when you talk about it can be crushing. "You poor thing." Worse is unwanted, ill considered advice. Like "you just need to stand up for yourself!" etc. 🙄
Because I come from inter-generational trauma, life is a painful, terrifying struggle. I am blindly attracted to abusers since they feel like home, so I don’t trust anyone especially myself and only feel safe chronically isolated. The shame, immense self-hatred, and sense of inferiority my foundation is built from makes me feel like an imposter for thinking i deserve better.
Omg my family and I. How accurate is this
Ahhh! This is the author of "how to do the work"!! Its an absolute banger of a read. It was like finding a map after bumbling around for awhile, luckily I was bumbling in the right direction. My path forward may still be difficult but now its illuminated ❤
This was I have healed 😢thankfully and still healing in other areas of my soul and mind. I am thankful for therapy
I come from generational trauma. My therapist is my sibling.
I come from generational trauma so I understand this completely. I also don’t have to see all the relatives that were involved with all that anymore, so I’m healing and putting myself first now❤❤❤
*looks over my shoulder*
Damn, girl, you have a camera on me and my life or something? Because that was so accurate it gave me goosebumps. 😳
when the family photos came out. Wow. Thats what kept me in a state of confusion for many years
Is it bad that while watching this all I could think of was how I wish I could afford a house like that? I'm sorry, but it's true.
yeaaa depressed asf but smiling the fakest smiles
I'm 43, and DETEST photos to this day. In a large majority of photos I have a fake smile. As I would smile, I would get flooded with memories of all the other times I had to fake a smile for pictures. It would upset me, then I'd remember that I'm in the middle of posing for pictures, which just reinforces the need for a fake smile. And when I'd look at pictures that I'm in, without hesitation, I'd remember the crappy things that happened before/after the photo was taken.
The hardest part of the trauma for me is the devastation of severe health issues being ignored. Not even rejected, but ignored as if they weren't happening at all. I started fighting to save my own life at 14 years old. When I escaped at 17 it was a miracle. Many times throughout childhood I didn't think I would survive. Somatic Experiencing also healed me at a deep level to the point it ended my Chronic Fatigue I had from ages 13-25. To this day I'm dumbfounded how my mom could be so cruel and what the hell her motivations were, and how my dad could be oblivious because he worked so much. He is too naive and was easily manipulated by her. I honestly don't understand how people turn out like that.
I heard years ago that comedians have the darkest depths in them of pain and sadness and humor is their coping mechanism. I’ve found that to be very accurate.
I agree with this 100% I have a sarcastic dry wit and am often surprised I can make ppl laugh. It brings me joy.
My 1st boyfriend in high school was hilarious and a class clown with a huge heart. It wasn't until I was older that I reflected back on his homelife and realized he used humor as a coping mechanism to escape a verbally and possibly physically abusive father.
We lost touch but I still think about him and why we behaved the way we did as kids.
I’m free from generational trauma because the Lord has freed me ! 🎉 His love is unconditional
I come from generational trauma but I not longer dwell on putting the blame on or judging my own family as they suffered injustice just the same. I focus on myself and on getting better so I stop the perpetuation of the abuse to every single person I know and putting myself down. Healing for the sake of living a better life that my family or at least more aware therefore changing the patterns
Is that YOUR house in the background?! Dang! Nice!
YEAH! But this is EXACTLY y I don’t like sharing anything about myself bc it’s always used to label me
“I came from generational trauma I struggle with how I look because every time my mom presented us with a stranger she gave more credit to my cousin saying she was/is the most beautiful of all, between the ones we were there, including my other sister and other cousins!” 🤷🏻♀️🫤
These are awesome! Ty! I also come from generational trauma. I'm a pathological people pleaser and I compare myself to everyone in the neighborhood just like my mom did... Nice to meet you ❤
❤❤❤ I love your videos. Every single one of these had me nodding along. Still working on the over-explaining myself.. but my progress is huge!
My parents didn't believe much that I said for some reason. Once, I fell off a swingset at the neighbors and came home cradling my wrist. My mom told me I was overreacting and had just "jammed" it, whatever that means. I sat on the couch for several hours in pain, being told that I was overreacting until my wrist began to swell. Turns out I broke it. My mom made me change my shirt before taking me to the hospital. Gotta look presentable, I guess.
This explains why right now in my 30s, I want nothing to do with my cousins that my mom compared me to growing up. ✌🏼✌🏼
This is how generational trauma looks like. If you are going through generational trauma, don't suffer in silence seek out help and stay healthy and happy 😊
I come from generational trauma, of course I carry a lot of violence inside me and I am always being afraid of sth! I love you @holistic psycholist!
Brilliant love it
Keep going don't stop,,
You're a great teacher helping people understand..
Sending you love blessings and respect
💜🙏🕉xx
Help, why does this explain my family so well?!
I come from generational strength - so my family holds eachother accountable, doesn't accept excuses, doesn't need diagnosis to explain away our behaviors, and doesn't expect the world to cater to our bs.
Oh how true are these statements!!! Thank you for saying how it REALLY is!!👍💜
Well done ladies for bringing this to light, xx
Humor has saved my bacon! Thank you for smiling
I come from generational trauma, so I refused to have children and subject them to the world we live in. ICFGT, so I isolate from my family to preserve my peace and sanity. ICFGT, so my best friends have always been critters.
I come from generational trauma. My parents are no longer alive, so older sister "took over" and now I don't talk to most relatives because I have no rights in my family.... except "get out!".
Hitting the nail right on the head! Thank you❤
Wow you are still functional enough as a family to get together and take happy annual family photos! Thats a real achievement these days!
Wow, that first one hit hard like a punch and rang clear like a bell
Never considered myself a people pleaser but I am and I am CONSTANTLY over explaining what I’m doing
I relate to the sense of humor one…I a pretty hilarious 😆
Amazing she's on a roll with these videos,the reenactments and the unsettling truths. I feel better already.
I come from generational trauma, so this short makes me attacked, yet also validated.
Thanks for explaining this, helps me understand the world around me and all those children from cults.
My whole life I was told 'you are to pretty to be depressed'. I don't feel thay way so it feels like a knife. I could never talk to anyone. Meanwhile I am an only child, my Mom (my only true friend) attempted to take her life twice, I wasn't able to finish highschool, my Father is absent yet highly controlling, I am 31 & so far behind. My teeth are still busted from a skateboarding mishap, no bank account, no drivers license, no true family. Some people tell me I am passed my prime whatever that means or that I am still young. I keep to myself mostly however all I have ever wanted was people with like minds. I don't victimize myself, if anything I am grateful. All of this has created a very compassionate & creative person. I have debilitating anxiety but I use art as much as I can as well as just thinking through any thought I possibly can. I am self content however working on my confidence 🕊️
You’re a genius xxx 😘 ❤❤❤