They always insulted me even though I was more educated than they were and worked in higher education almost a decade. They had to bring me down in the mud where they lived. Not anymore! Took my power back just like when I divorced my ex wife. Take back your power and seize the day! 💪
PERMANENT silence tells the narc the TRAUMA BOND is broken. All hoovers are a test to see if we are still emotionally trapped and are willing to give more. Blessings to all! Namaste ♥
@@Nyc99 I did my share of crying. But is when we become convinced (know) that no matter how deep our pain may be, the answer or solution is not with the narcissist. That is when you know that you are no longer trapped emotionally. Blessings to you! Namaste 💗
lourdesec, I will never forget how good you were to me. Unfortunately, things happen that are taken way out of context, and you feel like you don't belong anymore. It's ok, I'm fine and looking forward to 12.8 years narc free. Feels GREAT!
Recently I made the mistake of reaching out to the narcissist about something really really important. I needed the information I was requesting. I was invalidated - told that the information I needed wasn’t even real!! I began to kick myself knowing that I just gave him supply. UGH!!! Back to no contact and this time for good! Don’t make my mistake!! Thanks for another great video!!
InHisService772 I feel your stress and pain from this contact. I hope you will go into yourself, and work on self forgiveness for “ going there” Meditate, sleep, rest, and do what you need to do to get “ un-spun” from getting thrashed once more. Get back to your next thing AFTER you have centered and healed from this.
@@Meii652 Trust me when I say I know the discard was the BEST thing to happen to me and I thank my God for it!! But this…..it was really important. I was hoping for a decent answer or some explanation that I could live with - instead I was gas lit and told that I already knew what I was asking for…..so humiliating. But lesson learned. As stated in the video it does take time to perfect this thing - especially when you still have legal ties to the narcissist
Silence really is golden with those people. Especially when you can actually recognize their desperate maneuvering to regain control over you. Silence gives us back power over the narc. 100%!
I’ve been hoovered and now I’m trying to break away again! 😢 I didn’t learn my lesson well enough. Stay silent and stay away and avoid the Hoover!!! I so appreciate this channel and all your comments. Final time! 🙏🏼
You are right. This is my first experience of a text book covert narcissist so I fell for the first hoover on day 69 of no contact. Now I'm having to start over.
6 months no contact with the narc. Multiple attempts to talk to me, with new numbers, alt accounts, through mutual people, etc. I did not entertain the contact for even a minute. Block. Delete. Move on in strength
He's waiting at home for me right now. I'm out at the library waiting for my visa to move abroad. I have maybe 3 weeks to 1 month left before I'm gone forever. Thank you for your channel.
Great video Andrew. Yes after being discarded I went silent, but not for the right reason at first. In the beginning I was discarded I was so hurt and devastated and very angry. I was alone so I wanted nothing to do with anyone. I was in a dark place. I just decided to get as far away from the narcissist as I could so I picked up and walked away literally turned off my phone for 3 months and I reevaluated my life and the situation. With the help of this channel and the community I have grown and learned and healed. I don't need anything from him, so I haven't communicated with him for about 16 months. He has tried to get in touch with me but I ignored all attempts. Thank you Andrew for the video and thank you everyone for your kind words. Stay strong everyone.
Good for you Carlos. It does take time to process the whole relationship. I’m glad you are in a better place. Remember you deserve to be loved, valued, and respected. Things the narcissist know nothing about.
TY Andrew for saving my daughter & my infant granddaughter from a horrible narcissistic partner! I’m went to visit her and granddaughter(im in Chicago she moved to another state to be w him) as I listened to my daughter share the emotion /psychological abuse etc she’d been enduring over the past four years all I could say was “you didn’t do anything wrong”. (I’m psych nurse) She then showed me your video, she found you weeks ago & realized what she was dealing with. As I watched your video standing in her home with her & a newborn (that was a moment I will ‘never’ forget) she began to share “everything “ & she sed Andrew says “exit” if you can. I said “you can”! ❤ We packed a bag for the baby & my daughter, loaded the cat & fish 😊 & drove all the way to Chicago. I’m so very proud of her & you’ll never know that you saved a wonderful beautiful woman & her baby girl! That was 4 weeks ago. She continues to be encouraged & inspired by your channel . Yesterday was a typical day & suddenly something struck us funny & my daughter “cut up”… she laughed like her ol’self (actually new self now) At that point the baby cried ! She had never see her mother in her 5 months of life laugh & it scared the baby… it was another affirmation to her & timing was perfect. The narcissist will take whatever he’s able to “suck out of the deal”… please listen to Andrew… you’re not reading this by coincidence… it’s speaking to you…. Exit! Don’t let anyone stop you from being “ true to yourself “. Thank you Andrew!!! From a forever grateful & proud mother !! Ty!
Be careful about the negative Hoover. A narcissist will play the long game if they know you have resources they want to extract, you provided them with a good image in society and that you are healed. Don’t forget when you heal, it’s not for the narcissist it’s for you. Much love ❤
Used to get dragged into those long conversations on a regular basis. Listening. Affirming. Not enjoying my time. And those were not just phone calls, they were church gatherings where someone would grab me for their latest concern (often the same repeated issues ) and I learned a way out of this. It works twofold: carry a jug of water and drink all day and you really do have to use a restroom more often…”oh, I’m gonna have to “go” now” - it shuts it down, you’re not lying and it’s helpful. Even our best of friends who we love to support need to have a cutoff time. No disrespect to anyone, but I’m way to exhausted after years of narc cycles to really take many calls in my off time anymore. The energy has returned to me, but I use it for me mostly. Andrew you’ve made so many lives healthier ❤💪🙏
I just had a 💡 moment and realize the reason I possibly didn’t receive the silent treatment is because I recall stating up front beginning relationship that I value quiet time… 💎
@@emilywilson7308 are you implying yourself? Why? I do have my moments of being a jaberwooky it just depends on what’s being said. I’m mostly quiet where I’m living at because of the narcissist that lives here also. He eves drops on my phone conversations which is creepy and none of his business. He’s been spying on the neighbors that live next door, when a few ladies moved in next door he was so quick to tell me that they are lesbians. OMG so fucking what, who the hell cares. 🤨
@@alimccreery755 Hi Ali, I thought you were living on a mountain by yourself or something!🤣 I would like the solitude of no voices for awhile. That is what I am jealous of. I don't care if someone is lesbian either! Live and let live!
After going no contact, when the narc hoovers you and you don’t respond, it cuts off the energy buzz they have with you. The narc is craving that energy buzz like an addict. I know because it worked for me. The narc came back to the town I live in, found a way to get through my blocked phone and email to hoover, I did what Andrew told me to do and didn’t respond. I haven’t heard from the narc since. 🙌 IT REALLY WORKS! I no longer feel the energy pull from the narc. Thank you, Andrew!!!!
Your silence is golden, it speaks volumes and that you are off limits. While you take time away to heal, they're the ones who are stressing because their thoughts are catching up to them. We are empowering ourselves, growing through our pain and getting stronger daily. To stay well, is to go no contact and to realise you were in a relationship with them but not relating. It never served you, only them. We owe it to ourselves to be ok and not stuck. Thank you Andrew and yes you are a genuine, authentic person and we all appreciate you so much! God bless, take care 🙏🌸
They do not have the experience. They are not helping you. People like that are not in your corner. You are strong. Keep your peace. Find new friends who will enlighten your space. Leave the dark people with the narcissist. Keep your peace. Pray.
Hi Andrew and everyone. Being silent is the ONLY way to show the narc that you don't want them. Grey rock them if you are with them, therefore you bore them. After 5 years of narc abuse, I left him and blocked him everywhere. Silence will stop them! Believe it! GOOD TOPIC ANDREW!❤❤
I resisted the Hoover, he came to my house unannounced 2 nights in a row, he then sent me an email telling me to not contact him because he has new supply(which I hadn’t for 9 months). I’ve been silent since. It was so incredibly hard. I wanted to think he changed, but nope he didn’t. He lied in his email to me. Not for me but to show his new supply.
One of the things I kept hearing from others that supported me during the time I was most lost was that "I don't owe anyone anything". That was something I never really understood fully. I always carried the feelings that I had to do something to maintain relationships in some way that gave up a little bit of myself in some way or another. At some point I realized and it actually sunk in, that I really don't owe anyone anything. Not my time, not my attention and certainly not my life. I hope those going through it realize their strength and start building those boundaries.
Interestingly, choosing to be silent , or do nothing, is of itself Empowering ACTION, directed by you & your intent, FOR YOU, (also best for all), at appropriate times, decided by you, for you ; with anyone & of course, the narcissist ! Thanks Andrew❤🙏🏼😇
@emilywilson7308 respectfully disagree Emily. We need our own unconditional love. No one can give it to us. We have to realize this and give it to ourseves
Exactly they aren't human beings. They're disgusting & we need to educate ourselves and help others to overcome this and never have to go through it again ❤
I am so glad to have found you and your channel. I am here in Germany - hardly anyone here says it as straight as you do. Your videos, your words have helped me a lot on the way - out of manipulation. Thank you for that Andrew - and yes - our silence is a very strong weapon - in combination with the ability to control our emotions instead of being controlled by them. That paves the way into healing. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart Andrew 🤗🌻💚💫
Great video! I moved the narc out, I went no contact and I got a voicemail 6 weeks later and deleted without listening. My decision stands. It is finished. Im done being abused because I love big. You are so right, once I realized everything that comes from a narc mouth is nonsense, I was done. Actions speak louder than words. Dont buy into the words.
Silence has been a difficult concept for me. I am working on mastering it. I have a very large family; and therefore, there was not much silence. Everyone had an opinion on everything. As an introvert, I was always the “quiet one”. So, it is strange for me to think in terms of being silent. However, I realize that as I got older, I became more talkative, and gave out too much information which was weaponized against me. So, watch what you are saying to family, friend, co-workers and strangers (everyone).❤😊
When I am sitting in the kitchen with him crossed his arms, ready to find a way to make a fight, he is like a ticking bomb, all he gets is nothing from me, I am busy watching your channel instead. Thank You🙏
Ty Andrew. He is believing I’m sure I’m suffering bc he has blocked me , I think ? Actually it is a gift the only worthwhile meaningful gift I’ve ever gotten from him My therapist said yesterday all their relationships are transactional. His dog is dying, he’s in my wonderful care. With me is the best place he could be right to the end. Unlike where I would have been in my hr of need Grateful the narc/addict is gone Silence is mine !!!!!!!
I really struggle because I encourged the narc to go back to school, I supported the narc through jr. college and then onto a 4-year, and then onto a career. And in the meantime I neglected myself and I spent so much of my time trying to please the narc that in the end when they got the car the house the dog making good money- I found myself broke, beaten down, drinking all the time to deal with the narcs BS, and after over a decade together with the narc I got cheated on, replaced, told I was a loser, was told that I was "still trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grow up" (even though im middle aged and had a career of my own), was told 'the past doesn't matter' ie "what can you give me now? Im gonna shack up with someone who isnt broke, ie- im gonna shack up with a work collegue to further my career'. Its just plain disgusting its hard to wrap your around when someone goes on and on and on for years about 'how much they love you' to drop just drop one day like youre useless and meant nothing to them. And for what? yup you guessed it- to shirk resposibilty one last evil time. To kick you on your way out the door.
Being silent may seem passive aggressive but remember the narcissist wants a reaction out of you no matter how bad. It shows that you are the bigger person. Whereas the narcissist is a gaslighting bully. Don’t engage with them and move on with your life.
3 months of full block and no contact with this narcissist. I felt guilty at first doing the block but not anymore. I love the not worrying that he will call or text me b/c yet again he wants something from me. My time is mine now. I'm not his or anyone's errand girl/secretary.
Very well said! As you heal, these people will make you want to vomit 🤢 It’s unreal how ugly they are on the inside… heal and you will NEVER want anything to do with them.. I’m in my 3rd version of myself now, and wow! What a blessing it is to be completely unmoved and unaffected by these demons! It’s a beautiful thing! ❤
@@philippians4410 oh no, don’t do that to yourself, ❤️ it is a beautiful quality to WANT to see the good in people, and ALL OF US saw the red flags, part of the syndrome is SEEING THE RED FLAGS and doing it anyway..it’s huge! We all have done that.. please please give yourself a break, I try very hard to not assign blame in my life, one of the most helpful things towards self forgiveness is the mantra, I’ve done the best I can with the spiritual/emotional growth I had a the time… please spend some time studying forgiveness and self compassion, SUPER important on this healing journey. 🤍🕊️
Remember also, we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this world, the reason I feel sick by what I see in these people, is because I can now see the demonic force that is working through them.. ITS DARK.. I’ve actually found a way to forgive these people because I recognize this scripture, which is another reason they have no power over me anymore.. we don’t hate a lion because it wants to kill us, we just recognize that is it’s nature and stay safely away from them. Hope this helps!
Brilliant contemt The narcissist uses silence as a weapon against u, using their own tactics on them cancels out the effects of the abuse and breaks trauma bond. Your Silence will cause them to overthink and panic and u get your peace back ..priceless ❤
Andrew!! I am happily back home from the island to the pacific side!! We had an amazing time!! The energy vampire found us and showed up in the parking lot and honked his horn at me. It was a beautiful moment to just keep walking and feeling my own power, my freedom and my happiness! This is what I got out of the moment. The energy vampire had me believing I needed him but he showed me he actually needed me….I visited the island for my own healing because I left in such a hurry. I needed to hold my head up and finally say goodbye to the island I once loved. We are so happy to be home and I am GRATEFUL that island will not ever see my face again!! Door slammed shut, power snatched back like a warrior with a mission!!
Oh Kim!!! I was hoping it would all work out for you on your trip. You are so brave to go back and not respond to the honk! Screw him!!! New doors are opening and you are strong enough to embrace it! So happy for you. I just adore you!❤
@@emilywilson7308 EMMMMILLLLLYYYY!! Norman and I had a beautiful time!! He supported every person I needed to hug and make a few amends to, n say officially goodbye to them. He supported me being free and super supportive in general We went all over the Caribbean and when we arrived and got on the ferry the moon was full and bright over the beautiful aqua blue clear sea!! We laughed and bonded even stronger. Thank you for thinking of me!! You know Emily…..I can officially say I have NO DESIRE to ever go back again!! It was exactly how I needed the door to close on the island I once loved!! I love and adore you too!! Big hugs from my piece of the world!! #kimlivefree
The covert ones are the most dangerous ones. They are harder to spot so they do the most damage and they do this slowly, insidiously, methodically, until you’re trapped and totally under their control.
It has been a few months and I still struggle. Somedays I get a glimpse of who I was and that day is brighter because of it. Then other days I think of the last thing I said to her. I can't survive in the silence you keep me in. Today is a day that is hard. Wedding anniversary a few days ago and in my own self isolation and silence. Here is hoping tomorrow I see another good day. Thank you Andrew.
Sorry you're having a hard day. "Triggers" definitely do it to me. Yesterday, I went out at night to shop and thought I mighta seen his car go by. I still live in same county. I haven't seen him since the discard/break-up since May. It's been a few months. I was fine all day till I went out. Now, I won't be going to the area that he lives near, even though I like to shop that area. I hope you have a better day and I wish you the best✨I never been married but, I can imagine how you are feeling and what you're going through. I know personally, how hard things have been for me and getting over someone who I cared about and felt so much for and future-faked me. I had a bad day yesterday. Today has been better, just chillin in the crib. And, tomorrow will be a better day for you too, my man🙏😌
I can tell you God has your back brother. Just lean on him when you are weak and ask him to take your burdens. If you form a personal relationship with him he will listen and provide! God bless you 🙏 bro!
Ugh, when they take credit for things you do or say, or give it to someone else, or credit you with something bad or embarrassing they or someone else did! PS - just ignored a Hoover after three years, and it feels great.
How true thanks 😊 I'm trying to find healthy friends you're right about not having to explain yourself and keeping silent very helpful am trying make today a happy day 😊❤️
Recently the narcissist I recently severed ties with issued me a carrot in an attempt to draw me in. I thought that perhaps it was his way of closing the chapter but now I'm awaiting his next move. The good news is that my no contact will not be undermined, especially by me. I'm a newbie but I'm dedicated to crossing the finish line.
When you start healing your just not interested anymore it’s all an evil game and you recognize their boring losers. I still live with my narc husband I say very little not on purpose I just don’t care about him anymore. I’m not in a financial position to leave just yet but oh that narc will be discarded.
BONJOUR ANDREW😊❤,, SILENCE WORKS WONDERS!! 1 YR.SILENCE, BUT 1 EXTRA YEAR OF FREEDOM FOR MOI!! MERCI,,, for your words!! I am so blessed to be connected😊❤❤
One of the things I love about your beautiful soul is the fact you are UNFILTERED. Seeing the real you helps me leave the house and flaunt the real me. In short, to love myself. This is the first time I have used the strength of silence. The hate and love bombs fly at random around me. 5 mths into no contact with what was the love of my life.
The fact mine didn't ask the big questions or how my day was, spoke volumes. Her silence spoke volumes. After 3 months, I discarded it and now my silence speaks volumes :)
Silence is golden. Truer words were never spoken. So much wisdom comes to us as trite or hackneyed phrases that are easy to take for granted. Another is listen to your intuition. If you think someone is a narcissist because you feel devalued by them, believe your intuition and act on it. You will never have proof because they usually follow up with hoovering or love bombing which confuses you. So believe in what your intuition tells you. The empath's creed is: Do not defend. Do not explain. Do not engage. Life begins when you finally block them. Andrew, ❤🎉💫
I didn't want to watch this video. Because my spouse does this to me for teaching me. As I listen to Andrew I now understand that my silence is golden. Because I have done the opposite for awhile and got no where 😢. I try to explain myself to my husband that truly hates me why I did something he does like😢. 😢😢. He says I talk to much 😢. But anyway I Understand Andrew video and now will practice from it. ❤. I'm so lonely and my work is my only outlet. I love Andrew method. I pray 🙏 that I practice it more. But, that's what my spouse wants. Me too leave me behind a wall or me gone!!?? 25 yrs lost and I can't do anything to please him for more than 2 days. I'm so happy I found this channel 😂
Andrew, despite discovering your channel at the beginning of this year, it took me five months to really get the message that my silence is my new found voice and my new found strength, I didn’t know I could ever have. My silence and going no contact with the narc, has made me feel strong and empowered. That feeling of weakness and of being controlled and of being manipulated, is gone! I have found my voice by being silent, who would have thought? ❤ A voice that was drowned out for decades by the narcissist, with his constant gaslighting, put downs, rage fits, silent treatment, control, manipulation. Through my silence I’m discovering myself and who I am, and that is a wonderful feeling. Thank you Andrew for all your help and what you do for us every day 🙏💖❤️💗
@@marieeakin8534 Hello Marie, I caught Covid and thought I was getting better until I took a turn for the worse and got really sick and spent a week in hospital. I’ve been home for 10 days but my energy was very low,it’s only in the last couple of days that I’m starting to feel my energy come back slowly. I’ve never been this sick before, it was a bit scary, but thank God through His strength I recovered. Have a wonderful day Marie 💖🙏🤗💗
Silence is so difficult for me. I feel like I need to support myself. That said, be quiet and calm. You need to gray rock for your own sanity. This is a very difficult action
Yes I just got another Hoover after months. Saying Joann it’s never too late and that he loves me. Silence is the only way to go. I will never answer him again. You wind up taking so many steps backwards. Don’t do it. I myself am still struggling
🤐🤫🗝️don’t ever confront walk away one thing I don’t miss is the 5 hour conversations with so called friends that never listened to me and it was all about them ,arguing or trying to tell the truth won’t work they will turn it back onto you and blame you for everything . Give your energy to those that are deserving 🙏💕
I really needed to hear"you're not alone" tonight. Been dealing with an upcoming hoover from a flying monkey. I will hold firm to staying silent and no contact. Thank you for your channel
My silence now tells the narcissist...
THE JIG IS UP... YOU WILL NO LONGER INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE OR CONTINUE TO ABUSE ME IN ANY WAY!
🎀😘
🙏🙌😌💯
They always insulted me even though I was more educated than they were and worked in higher education almost a decade. They had to bring me down in the mud where they lived. Not anymore! Took my power back just like when I divorced my ex wife. Take back your power and seize the day! 💪
❤
When you say NO! to something or someone YOU are saying YES to yourself. THANK YOU ANDREW!!
Silence is golden. It’s the only thing that gets to them.
Truth!!! 👍
🎀😘
🤫🤫💯
Silence brings PEACE! ☯️🙏🌿
That's the TRUTH! 👍🌞
Well needed peace!!!
🎀😘
🤫🤫💯
❤
🧘🏼♀️
You will never come out ahead. Cut your losses & RUN!
PERMANENT silence tells the narc the TRAUMA BOND is broken. All hoovers are a test to see if we are still emotionally trapped and are willing to give more. Blessings to all! Namaste ♥
So if i cry means i am still trapped or my poor soul think its trapped? Contact with them is like stabbed in heart feeling
@@Nyc99 I did my share of crying. But is when we become convinced (know) that no matter how deep our pain may be, the answer or solution is not with the narcissist. That is when you know that you are no longer trapped emotionally. Blessings to you! Namaste 💗
lourdesec, I will never forget how good you were to me. Unfortunately, things happen that are taken way out of context, and you feel like you don't belong anymore. It's ok, I'm fine and looking forward to 12.8 years narc free. Feels GREAT!
instead of being a people pleaser, go out and please yourself ❤😊
Now, why didn't I think of that?!!!
I love the silence it drives the narcissist and flying monkeys crazy 😜
I was about to take FM to vacay, now watch me have fun all alone and triangulate big ass termal spa for me
Recently I made the mistake of reaching out to the narcissist about something really really important. I needed the information I was requesting. I was invalidated - told that the information I needed wasn’t even real!! I began to kick myself knowing that I just gave him supply. UGH!!! Back to no contact and this time for good! Don’t make my mistake!! Thanks for another great video!!
I know what you mean. You always have to get clever about working around them. 🙄
InHisService772
I feel your stress and pain from this contact.
I hope you will go into yourself, and work on self forgiveness for “ going there”
Meditate, sleep, rest, and do what you need to do to get “ un-spun” from getting thrashed once more.
Get back to your next thing AFTER you have centered and healed from this.
@@cc1k435 that's right! 💗👍
Did you really needed the info or was ist Just an excuse for yourself to reach out to him? 😏
@@Meii652 Trust me when I say I know the discard was the BEST thing to happen to me and I thank my God for it!! But this…..it was really important. I was hoping for a decent answer or some explanation that I could live with - instead I was gas lit and told that I already knew what I was asking for…..so humiliating. But lesson learned. As stated in the video it does take time to perfect this thing - especially when you still have legal ties to the narcissist
Silence really is golden with those people. Especially when you can actually recognize their desperate maneuvering to regain control over you. Silence gives us back power over the narc. 100%!
Emotional Mastery..
Learning to not respond emotionally to their gas lighting.
Ignore their existence.
Be SILENT & know that I AM GOD !❤
Oh yeah!!! 👍👍👍👍👍
🎀😘
❤
The Lord Jesus changes lives … 💯%
😌🙌🙏
❤😮SILENCE IS GOLDEN😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
I’ve been hoovered and now I’m trying to break away again! 😢 I didn’t learn my lesson well enough. Stay silent and stay away and avoid the Hoover!!! I so appreciate this channel and all your comments. Final time! 🙏🏼
😌🙌💪💯
You are right. This is my first experience of a text book covert narcissist so I fell for the first hoover on day 69 of no contact. Now I'm having to start over.
@@silentnight3235 so sorry to hear that! Stay strong and focused. We will escape again! Be safe!!
@@desim7826 Likewise. Stay strong.
Be safe and prayers for you!
Saying nothing says everything..💪💯
Amen!
6 months no contact with the narc. Multiple attempts to talk to me, with new numbers, alt accounts, through mutual people, etc. I did not entertain the contact for even a minute. Block. Delete. Move on in strength
Go, Essie!!!
My silence is getting me more attention(divorced two months now) from the Narc more now then when I was married 😉 silence is major and golden !
That's a good thing! 👍😀
Hahaha
OOPS! Youve... as Andrew just said..."choked out" their ego. Good for you! Bravo!
Thank you I’ve tried to tell people my silence speakers the loudest
Welcome 🤫🤫💯😌
He's waiting at home for me right now. I'm out at the library waiting for my visa to move abroad. I have maybe 3 weeks to 1 month left before I'm gone forever. Thank you for your channel.
Don't let anything stop you!
I do wish you the best. KEEP COMING BACK! 💗💙👍🌞
Do you get visas at the library? Who knew? Good luck and bon voyage. I wish you the best!
Stay strong.....a brighter future awaits you. 👍
Remember what you've learned.
Nothing but blessings!
🎀😘
Welcome 😌🙌💯
I never heard "How was your day?" or "How is work going?" from the narc. In 10 years, never once.
"A quagmire of destruction " love that one!!
More appropriately
More eloquently
Genius Silence
Great video Andrew. Yes after being discarded I went silent, but not for the right reason at first. In the beginning I was discarded I was so hurt and devastated and very angry. I was alone so I wanted nothing to do with anyone. I was in a dark place. I just decided to get as far away from the narcissist as I could so I picked up and walked away literally turned off my phone for 3 months and I reevaluated my life and the situation. With the help of this channel and the community I have grown and learned and healed. I don't need anything from him, so I haven't communicated with him for about 16 months. He has tried to get in touch with me but I ignored all attempts. Thank you Andrew for the video and thank you everyone for your kind words. Stay strong everyone.
Welcome 🙌😌💯💪💯
Hello Carlos...🖐😀💗
@@jannlewandowski5540 Hello 👋
You are my hero, Carlos!❤
Good for you Carlos. It does take time to process the whole relationship. I’m glad you are in a better place. Remember you deserve to be loved, valued, and respected. Things the narcissist know nothing about.
An ex narc friend looked at my 15 year old photo of myself and said,,that can't be you..i was stunned.
TY Andrew for saving my daughter & my infant granddaughter from a horrible narcissistic partner! I’m went to visit her and granddaughter(im in Chicago she moved to another state to be w him) as I listened to my daughter share the emotion /psychological abuse etc she’d been enduring over the past four years all I could say was “you didn’t do anything wrong”.
(I’m psych nurse)
She then showed me your video, she found you weeks ago & realized what she was dealing with. As I watched your video standing in her home with her & a newborn (that was a moment I will ‘never’ forget) she began to share “everything “ & she sed Andrew says “exit” if you can. I said “you can”! ❤
We packed a bag for the baby & my daughter, loaded the cat & fish 😊 & drove all the way to Chicago.
I’m so very proud of her & you’ll never know that you saved a wonderful beautiful woman & her baby girl! That was 4 weeks ago.
She continues to be encouraged & inspired by your channel .
Yesterday was a typical day & suddenly something struck us funny & my daughter “cut up”… she laughed like her ol’self (actually new self now)
At that point the baby cried ! She had never see her mother in her 5 months of life laugh & it scared the baby… it was another affirmation to her & timing was perfect.
The narcissist will take whatever he’s able to “suck out of the deal”… please listen to Andrew… you’re not reading this by coincidence… it’s speaking to you…. Exit!
Don’t let anyone stop you from being “ true to yourself “.
Thank you Andrew!!!
From a forever grateful & proud mother !! Ty!
I thank you ! For being there and caring enough to help. I have always wished for that kind of support.
Bless You 🙏💖
How amazing so glad to hear this ❤❤❤
God Bles the 3 of You❣️💝
I pray that someday this will happen with our daughter and 2 Beautiful
Grandaughters!! Someday, hopefully soon.🙏💔💝
@@jaye3848 thank you & blessings to you and your family too! 💝
Thanks for also NOT leaving the pets behind........lovely. I binge watch Andrew. His lectures are therapeutic.
Silence is golden!! That's my rule 🙏
That is the truth! 👍💪🌞
🤫🤫💯
Nothing changes if nothing changes..✌️💪
You got that right!.👍
🎀😘
💯💯😌
😂
Be careful about the negative Hoover. A narcissist will play the long game if they know you have resources they want to extract, you provided them with a good image in society and that you are healed. Don’t forget when you heal, it’s not for the narcissist it’s for you. Much love ❤
I used to enter the arena just to test my strength. Not anymore, there is no logic in the arena... you will lose.
Truth! Preach!
Used to get dragged into those long conversations on a regular basis. Listening. Affirming. Not enjoying my time. And those were not just phone calls, they were church gatherings where someone would grab me for their latest concern (often the same repeated issues ) and I learned a way out of this. It works twofold: carry a jug of water and drink all day and you really do have to use a restroom more often…”oh, I’m gonna have to “go” now” - it shuts it down, you’re not lying and it’s helpful. Even our best of friends who we love to support need to have a cutoff time.
No disrespect to anyone, but I’m way to exhausted after years of narc cycles to really take many calls in my off time anymore. The energy has returned to me, but I use it for me mostly.
Andrew you’ve made so many lives healthier ❤💪🙏
Chelsea.....Hey,!
Hope you're doing well
🖐👍💗
@@jannlewandowski5540 hi Jann, I am. Hope you are good too😊💖🌸
Luv it Chelsea!!! 👍👍👍👍👍
🎀😘
@@marieeakin8534 hi Marie 💖🙏
Thank you for sharing this ❤️😇😊💯
I just had a 💡 moment and realize the reason I possibly didn’t receive the silent treatment is because I recall stating up front beginning relationship that I value quiet time… 💎
💡💡😉💯💯
Lol, this made me chuckle.
@@Hatbox948I think that’s the Grace lol😅🙃
I can go for weeks without talking to anyone. 👍It’s very peaceful and tranquil. 🥰
That's the spirit! 💪🌞
🤫🤫😌💯
Jealous!!!
@@emilywilson7308 are you implying yourself? Why? I do have my moments of being a jaberwooky it just depends on what’s being said. I’m mostly quiet where I’m living at because of the narcissist that lives here also. He eves drops on my phone conversations which is creepy and none of his business. He’s been spying on the neighbors that live next door, when a few ladies moved in next door he was so quick to tell me that they are lesbians. OMG so fucking what, who the hell cares. 🤨
@@alimccreery755 Hi Ali, I thought you were living on a mountain by yourself or something!🤣 I would like the solitude of no voices for awhile. That is what I am jealous of. I don't care if someone is lesbian either! Live and let live!
After going no contact, when the narc hoovers you and you don’t respond, it cuts off the energy buzz they have with you. The narc is craving that energy buzz like an addict. I know because it worked for me. The narc came back to the town I live in, found a way to get through my blocked phone and email to hoover,
I did what Andrew told me to do and didn’t respond. I haven’t heard from the narc since. 🙌
IT REALLY WORKS! I no longer feel the energy pull from the narc. Thank you, Andrew!!!!
Thanks Andrew, going no contact and blacking the narcissist is the greatest gift you can give your self ❤❤❤💪🙏🏿🙌
Amen!!!
🎀😘
❤️🙏😌
Your silence is golden, it speaks volumes and that you are off limits. While you take time away to heal, they're the ones who are stressing because their thoughts are catching up to them. We are empowering ourselves, growing through our pain and getting stronger daily. To stay well, is to go no contact and to realise you were in a relationship with them but not relating. It never served you, only them. We owe it to ourselves to be ok and not stuck. Thank you Andrew and yes you are a genuine, authentic person and we all appreciate you so much! God bless, take care 🙏🌸
Welcome 😌🙌😇💯🙌
When people do not value your time,its terrible
Andrew, you say, "silent and stoic." Others say, "damaged and numb." Thanks for getting it.
I just ignored him toward the end.
👍😀
They do not have the experience. They are not helping you. People like that are not in your corner. You are strong. Keep your peace. Find new friends who will enlighten your space. Leave the dark people with the narcissist. Keep your peace. Pray.
Welcome 😌🙌😉💯💯
After I heal from narcissist, I'm still going to watch this channel.... just to see the Signature Andrew Side Head Tilt! ❤
🤔🤔😊❤️
😂
Hi Andrew and everyone. Being silent is the ONLY way to show the narc that you don't want them. Grey rock them if you are with them, therefore you bore them.
After 5 years of narc abuse, I left him and blocked him everywhere.
Silence will stop them! Believe it!
GOOD TOPIC ANDREW!❤❤
Hi there yep 🤫🤐have a great day 🌺🌸🦋
💪🙏❤️🙌
@@coral8313You also, Coral.
🖐😀
Hi again Jan..glad you decided against taking a break from this. Your input has been a blessing for me & I'm sure for others.
🎀😘
@@marieeakin8534 Aww, Thank you. It's always good to see you.
💗😀🖐👍
I resisted the Hoover, he came to my house unannounced 2 nights in a row, he then sent me an email telling me to not contact him because he has new supply(which I hadn’t for 9 months). I’ve been silent since. It was so incredibly hard. I wanted to think he changed, but nope he didn’t. He lied in his email to me. Not for me but to show his new supply.
What was he gonna do? Introduce you to his new supply?😮
One of the things I kept hearing from others that supported me during the time I was most lost was that "I don't owe anyone anything". That was something I never really understood fully. I always carried the feelings that I had to do something to maintain relationships in some way that gave up a little bit of myself in some way or another. At some point I realized and it actually sunk in, that I really don't owe anyone anything. Not my time, not my attention and certainly not my life. I hope those going through it realize their strength and start building those boundaries.
😌😌🙏💯
Interestingly, choosing to be silent , or do nothing, is of itself Empowering ACTION, directed by you & your intent, FOR YOU, (also best for all), at appropriate times, decided by you, for you ; with anyone & of course, the narcissist ! Thanks Andrew❤🙏🏼😇
What we need to get from others is something we didn't get from childhood.
We need God's unconditional love and sometimes people don't feel it.😢
@emilywilson7308 respectfully disagree
Emily. We need our own unconditional love. No one can give it to us. We have to realize this and give it to ourseves
@@marypalmer1062 You are right! My comment over simplifies the whole thing.💗
Exactly they aren't human beings. They're disgusting & we need to educate ourselves and help others to overcome this and never have to go through it again ❤
😌🙌💯
Absolutely!!! 👍👍👍👍👍
🎀😘
I am so glad to have found you and your channel. I am here in Germany - hardly anyone here says it as straight as you do. Your videos, your words have helped me a lot on the way - out of manipulation.
Thank you for that Andrew - and yes - our silence is a very strong weapon - in combination with the ability to control our emotions instead of being controlled by them. That paves the way into healing.
Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart Andrew 🤗🌻💚💫
Welcome 😌😉💯🙏
Great video! I moved the narc out, I went no contact and I got a voicemail 6 weeks later and deleted without listening. My decision stands. It is finished. Im done being abused because I love big. You are so right, once I realized everything that comes from a narc mouth is nonsense, I was done. Actions speak louder than words. Dont buy into the words.
A thousand adjectives will fall on narcissistic deaf ears yet the silence will deafen them because they are not normal.
Thank you 🙏 so powerful
Day 13 silence
I can hear myself now
Continuing with this playlist
Perfect timing for me
Have a beautiful day
🌻🌈🌻🌈🌻
Silence has been a difficult concept for me. I am working on mastering it. I have a very large family; and therefore, there was not much silence. Everyone had an opinion on everything. As an introvert, I was always the “quiet one”. So, it is strange for me to think in terms of being silent. However, I realize that as I got older, I became more talkative, and gave out too much information which was weaponized against me. So, watch what you are saying to family, friend, co-workers and strangers (everyone).❤😊
Especially con workers, "cons" never discuss your life with them,except in generics...
When I am sitting in the kitchen with him crossed his arms, ready to find a way to make a fight, he is like a ticking bomb, all he gets is nothing from me, I am busy watching your channel instead. Thank You🙏
Welcome 😌💯🙏
Ty Andrew. He is believing I’m sure I’m suffering bc he has blocked me , I think ? Actually it is a gift the only worthwhile meaningful gift I’ve ever gotten from him
My therapist said yesterday all their
relationships are transactional.
His dog is dying, he’s in my wonderful care. With me is the best place he could be right to the end.
Unlike where I would have been in my hr of need
Grateful the narc/addict is gone
Silence is mine !!!!!!!
🙌🙏💪💯
Went for a walk then did Pilates
Worked on me today 👌
Have a good day everyone
Andrew thank you 🙂❤
I really struggle because I encourged the narc to go back to school, I supported the narc through jr. college and then onto a 4-year, and then onto a career. And in the meantime I neglected myself and I spent so much of my time trying to please the narc that in the end when they got the car the house the dog making good money- I found myself broke, beaten down, drinking all the time to deal with the narcs BS, and after over a decade together with the narc I got cheated on, replaced, told I was a loser, was told that I was "still trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grow up" (even though im middle aged and had a career of my own), was told 'the past doesn't matter' ie "what can you give me now? Im gonna shack up with someone who isnt broke, ie- im gonna shack up with a work collegue to further my career'. Its just plain disgusting its hard to wrap your around when someone goes on and on and on for years about 'how much they love you' to drop just drop one day like youre useless and meant nothing to them. And for what? yup you guessed it- to shirk resposibilty one last evil time. To kick you on your way out the door.
Thank you for sharing 😌💯🙏
Being silent may seem passive aggressive but remember the narcissist wants a reaction out of you no matter how bad. It shows that you are the bigger person. Whereas the narcissist is a gaslighting bully. Don’t engage with them and move on with your life.
💯🙌😌
Silence is indeed golden 🤫
🤫🤫😌💯
Truth 🎉😂❤
😌🙌💯
3 months of full block and no contact with this narcissist. I felt guilty at first doing the block but not anymore. I love the not worrying that he will call or text me b/c yet again he wants something from me. My time is mine now. I'm not his or anyone's errand girl/secretary.
I felt the same way. It's really nice to choose to take care of ourselves first.We are still good people.
🎀😘
💪💯😌😉
Very well said! As you heal, these people will make you want to vomit 🤢 It’s unreal how ugly they are on the inside… heal and you will NEVER want anything to do with them.. I’m in my 3rd version of myself now, and wow! What a blessing it is to be completely unmoved and unaffected by these demons!
It’s a beautiful thing! ❤
😌😌🙏
@@philippians4410 oh no, don’t do that to yourself, ❤️
it is a beautiful quality to WANT to see the good in people, and ALL OF US saw the red flags, part of the syndrome is SEEING THE RED FLAGS and doing it anyway..it’s huge! We all have done that.. please please give yourself a break, I try very hard to not assign blame in my life, one of the most helpful things towards self forgiveness is the mantra, I’ve done the best I can with the spiritual/emotional growth I had a the time… please spend some time studying forgiveness and self compassion, SUPER important on this healing journey. 🤍🕊️
Remember also, we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this world, the reason I feel sick by what I see in these people, is because I can now see the demonic force that is working through them.. ITS DARK.. I’ve actually found a way to forgive these people because I recognize this scripture, which is another reason they have no power over me anymore.. we don’t hate a lion because it wants to kill us, we just recognize that is it’s nature and stay safely away from them. Hope this helps!
Brilliant contemt
The narcissist uses silence as a weapon against u, using their own tactics on them cancels out the effects of the abuse and breaks trauma bond.
Your Silence will cause them to overthink and panic and u get your peace back ..priceless ❤
Give them a taste of their own medicine! 👍😀💪
😌🙌💯
Andrew!! I am happily back home from the island to the pacific side!! We had an amazing time!!
The energy vampire found us and showed up in the parking lot and honked his horn at me. It was a beautiful moment to just keep walking and feeling my own power, my freedom and my happiness! This is what I got out of the moment. The energy vampire had me believing I needed him but he showed me he actually needed me….I visited the island for my own healing because I left in such a hurry. I needed to hold my head up and finally say goodbye to the island I once loved. We are so happy to be home and I am GRATEFUL that island will not ever see my face again!! Door slammed shut, power snatched back like a warrior with a mission!!
Oh Kim!!! I was hoping it would all work out for you on your trip. You are so brave to go back and not respond to the honk! Screw him!!! New doors are opening and you are strong enough to embrace it! So happy for you. I just adore you!❤
@@emilywilson7308 EMMMMILLLLLYYYY!! Norman and I had a beautiful time!! He supported every person I needed to hug and make a few amends to, n say officially goodbye to them. He supported me being free and super supportive in general
We went all over the Caribbean and when we arrived and got on the ferry the moon was full and bright over the beautiful aqua blue clear sea!! We laughed and bonded even stronger.
Thank you for thinking of me!! You know Emily…..I can officially say I have NO DESIRE to ever go back again!! It was exactly how I needed the door to close on the island I once loved!! I love and adore you too!! Big hugs from my piece of the world!! #kimlivefree
covert narc was so much harder to see. Im only 10 days free and the silence is liberating
The covert ones are the most dangerous ones. They are harder to spot so they do the most damage and they do this slowly, insidiously, methodically, until you’re trapped and totally under their control.
High five! 👍
🎀😘
It has been a few months and I still struggle. Somedays I get a glimpse of who I was and that day is brighter because of it. Then other days I think of the last thing I said to her. I can't survive in the silence you keep me in.
Today is a day that is hard. Wedding anniversary a few days ago and in my own self isolation and silence.
Here is hoping tomorrow I see another good day. Thank you Andrew.
It takes TIME. You will be OK! 👍🌞
Sorry you're hurting now, hang in there.
Blessings 👃
🎀😘
Sorry you're having a hard day. "Triggers" definitely do it to me. Yesterday, I went out at night to shop and thought I mighta seen his car go by. I still live in same county. I haven't seen him since the discard/break-up since May. It's been a few months. I was fine all day till I went out. Now, I won't be going to the area that he lives near, even though I like to shop that area.
I hope you have a better day and I wish you the best✨I never been married but, I can imagine how you are feeling and what you're going through. I know personally, how hard things have been for me and getting over someone who I cared about and felt so much for and future-faked me.
I had a bad day yesterday. Today has been better, just chillin in the crib.
And, tomorrow will be a better day for you too, my man🙏😌
Welcome 😌🙌💯🙏
I can tell you God has your back brother. Just lean on him when you are weak and ask him to take your burdens. If you form a personal relationship with him he will listen and provide! God bless you 🙏 bro!
Amen❤❤❤
😌❤️🙌
This sounds like what is going on in our world to the people. Decent people are being manipulated.
💯💯
Thanks brother I am silent but worry for them.
😌🙌💯
I was a silent person before the narssist, now i am returning.
Ugh, when they take credit for things you do or say, or give it to someone else, or credit you with something bad or embarrassing they or someone else did! PS - just ignored a Hoover after three years, and it feels great.
💪😌🙌🙏
5, monkeys now following, one new one,,,here, 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Silence is killing them,,,👍👍✨✨✨
🙏as always Andrew, you nailed it! Thanks for keeping it real! 🩵💙🩵✌️🤗
Silence is beautiful ❤
Love it!👍👍
🤫🤫😌💯
Spot on Andrew. I agree with everything you said. God bless you❤
Great video Andrew!
Going silent was the only way for me to start the healing process.
Wishing everyone clarity and peace.
Yes lately I see them, following me here and other channels,Radio Silence,I'm working on it,Andrew,✨✨✨💖💖
😌🙌🙏
You go, girl!!!🌸🌹🌷❤💪🏻
@@emilywilson7308💖💖💖💖💖
How true thanks 😊 I'm trying to find healthy friends you're right about not having to explain yourself and keeping silent very helpful am trying make today a happy day 😊❤️
Recently the narcissist I recently severed ties with issued me a carrot in an attempt to draw me in. I thought that perhaps it was his way of closing the chapter but now I'm awaiting his next move. The good news is that my no contact will not be undermined, especially by me. I'm a newbie but I'm dedicated to crossing the finish line.
When you start healing your just not interested anymore it’s all an evil game and you recognize their boring losers. I still live with my narc husband I say very little not on purpose I just don’t care about him anymore. I’m not in a financial position to leave just yet but oh that narc will be discarded.
BONJOUR ANDREW😊❤,, SILENCE WORKS WONDERS!! 1 YR.SILENCE, BUT 1 EXTRA YEAR OF FREEDOM FOR MOI!! MERCI,,, for your words!! I am so blessed to be connected😊❤❤
One of the things I love about your beautiful soul is the fact you are UNFILTERED. Seeing the real you helps me leave the house and flaunt the real me. In short, to love myself.
This is the first time I have used the strength of silence. The hate and love bombs fly at random around me. 5 mths into no contact with what was the love of my life.
Keep up the great work! I celebrated 12.6 years this month. Andrew's room is the BEST! 👍🌞🖐
😌🙌😇❤️
Thank you, Andrew.
I am now enjoying myself the freedom away from Narcs dealing for so long.
On my 5th mos of No Contact**
Friendship over✅💜 thank you Coaches ❤️🥰
It feels great to be rid of him 👍💗
Silence
The fact mine didn't ask the big questions or how my day was, spoke volumes. Her silence spoke volumes. After 3 months, I discarded it and now my silence speaks volumes :)
Namaste
Silence is golden. Truer words were never spoken. So much wisdom comes to us as trite or hackneyed phrases that are easy to take for granted. Another is listen to your intuition. If you think someone is a narcissist because you feel devalued by them, believe your intuition and act on it. You will never have proof because they usually follow up with hoovering or love bombing which confuses you. So believe in what your intuition tells you. The empath's creed is: Do not defend. Do not explain. Do not engage. Life begins when you finally block them.
Andrew, ❤🎉💫
I didn't want to watch this video. Because my spouse does this to me for teaching me. As I listen to Andrew I now understand that my silence is golden. Because I have done the opposite for awhile and got no where 😢. I try to explain myself to my husband that truly hates me why I did something he does like😢. 😢😢. He says I talk to much 😢. But anyway I Understand Andrew video and now will practice from it. ❤. I'm so lonely and my work is my only outlet. I love Andrew method. I pray 🙏 that I practice it more. But, that's what my spouse wants. Me too leave me behind a wall or me gone!!?? 25 yrs lost and I can't do anything to please him for more than 2 days. I'm so happy I found this channel 😂
Thank you for sharing this 💯🙏😌🙌
Ur the best
😌🙌
Thank you Andrew. I have more to heal. Should never except a hoover from any of the pawns.
Welcome 😌🙌🙏
Andrew, despite discovering your channel at the beginning of this year, it took me five months to really get the message that my silence is my new found voice and my new found strength, I didn’t know I could ever have.
My silence and going no contact with the narc, has made me feel strong and empowered. That feeling of weakness and of being controlled and of being manipulated, is gone!
I have found my voice by being silent, who would have thought? ❤
A voice that was drowned out for decades by the narcissist, with his constant gaslighting, put downs, rage fits, silent treatment, control, manipulation.
Through my silence I’m discovering myself and who I am, and that is a wonderful feeling. Thank you Andrew for all your help and what you do for us every day 🙏💖❤️💗
Hi Sweetie, nice to see you again.
So glad we have been delivered from the ugliness of it all.
God has sweeter plans for us.
Blessings 🎀😘
@@marieeakin8534
Hello Marie, I caught Covid and thought I was getting better until I took a turn for the worse and got really sick and spent a week in hospital. I’ve been home for 10 days but my energy was very low,it’s only in the last couple of days that I’m starting to feel my energy come back slowly. I’ve never been this sick before, it was a bit scary, but thank God through His strength I recovered. Have a wonderful day Marie 💖🙏🤗💗
Thank you, Andrew...you are making a huge difference...
Andrew is the BEST! 👍💪💕
Welcome 😌💯🙌🙏
Silence is so difficult for me. I feel like I need to support myself. That said, be quiet and calm. You need to gray rock for your own sanity. This is a very difficult action
Yes I just got another Hoover after months. Saying Joann it’s never too late and that he loves me. Silence is the only way to go. I will never answer him again. You wind up taking so many steps backwards. Don’t do it. I myself am still struggling
Great job, Joann!🎉
Thank you for the encouraging words. I need them.@@emilywilson7308
Been there and done that, thank you, Andrew, been along time.... Oh , the Narc
Thank You Very Much Andrew❤🙏🌷
Silence is the most powerful tool. There is NOTHING to argue with. It means I'm through. I don't care enough to fight.
🤫🤫
no contact. no regrets.
❤thank you
🤐🤫🗝️don’t ever confront walk away one thing I don’t miss is the 5 hour conversations with so called friends that never listened to me and it was all about them ,arguing or trying to tell the truth won’t work they will turn it back onto you and blame you for everything . Give your energy to those that are deserving 🙏💕
💯💯😉😉
It makes life so much easier.
So glad I gave myself permission
not to have to explain....ugh!
🎀😘
@@marieeakin8534 👏you should never explain yourself to anyone unless you so choose stay positive and strong 💪🌺🌸🦋
Silenced
Yes!!! 👍
🎀😘
I really needed to hear"you're not alone" tonight. Been dealing with an upcoming hoover from a flying monkey. I will hold firm to staying silent and no contact. Thank you for your channel