Penuel The Black Pen In Conversation with Sifiso Madondo, Mentorship, Eskom, Europe, Tembisa, Ubuntu

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 21 лип 2024
  • THE PENUEL SHOW WITH SIFISO MADONDO
    00:00 - INTRO
    00:05 - Show begins
    00:20 - How has the public reception been
    04:15 - What did mentorship mean to you
    05:13 - What's the difference between mentorship & apprenticeship
    10:55 - How do you choose who to mentor
    12:50 - Mentorship programs
    16:40 - Short Break
    18:40 - Availability & choosing of mentors
    22:30 - Apprenticeship & mentorship models
    24:55 - Why I listen to my gut
    27:45 - How one can effectively listen to their gut
    30:47 - How did you filter the noise from your gut
    34:00 - How do you listen to your gut today
    37:52 - The importance of listening to yourself
    41:45 - Importance of being self-grounded
    43:55 - The concept of religion
    48:35 - 1 Timothy 2:15 Bible verse reference
    49:30 - What's your understanding of the verse
    50:04 - Social beliefs and population control
    57:00 - The vital role motivational speakers & advisors play
    1:04:38 - The unappreciated work of analysts in our lives
    1:06:47 - The importance of having guidance
    1:09:53 - The importance of appreciation & delayed gratification
    1:17:51 - The Real Value of Money - Mark Manson
    1:20:50 - Heading from post trauma
    1:22:05 - Public service
    1:26:02 - Community pillars & involvement
    1:32:15 - Progressive communal building
    1:34:30 - Scarcity mindset
    1:38:40 - Closing comments
    1:42:04 - ENDS
    Created by Khwezi Ndlovu.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 208

  • @petergarrett4385
    @petergarrett4385 10 місяців тому +59

    The reason why you not where you wanna be is because you not moving towards that direction ❤

  • @nomusapreciousbuthelezi22
    @nomusapreciousbuthelezi22 10 місяців тому +10

    Omg this man is so like me, I haven’t watched news in 10 years yet I know all that I must know 😮

  • @user-uf8ge8ng9e
    @user-uf8ge8ng9e 10 місяців тому +7

    God bless you Sifiso (Soweto with love)

  • @jabulanindlovu9376
    @jabulanindlovu9376 10 місяців тому +29

    I immediately smiled when I saw Mr Madondo. He is always dropping gems, thank you for bringing him back to the platform.

    • @fanfan9095
      @fanfan9095 10 місяців тому

      I am humblest my leader, Love u deeply

  • @nkululekomlangz2098
    @nkululekomlangz2098 10 місяців тому +20

    We need more black mentors especially for us young black man

  • @mduduzimhlabathi7146
    @mduduzimhlabathi7146 10 місяців тому +8

    Luv Mr Madondo's mindset, We need more ppl with such thinking capabilities...👌🏽💯

  • @Sir_Khaya
    @Sir_Khaya 10 місяців тому +19

    Took the advice on arriving early for meetings and it worked out perfectly. This was great.

  • @godpenuel
    @godpenuel 10 місяців тому +31

    Happy Monday julle 😊❤️ Hope you've had a great weekend and I hope you'll enjoy my sitdown with uMadondo 🙏🏽❤️

    • @nigemhene2194
      @nigemhene2194 10 місяців тому +2

      Another episode with Mr Madondo please

  • @ako7975
    @ako7975 10 місяців тому +45

    Penuel, I’m Sierra Leonean living in the U.S. Your program has educated me so much about South Africa and Southern Africa as a whole.
    This gentleman, Rutendo, and Vusi are some of your most memorable guests. You and those 3 guests have inspired me to volunteer my time, resources, and knowledge in the development of my own little corner.
    I disagree with you on religion but that’s a conversation for another day 🤩.
    In conclusion, I am certain, I will be crossing paths with you, Vusi, and Rutendo at some point.
    Thank you for your inspiration and thank you for your hard work.

    • @godpenuel
      @godpenuel 10 місяців тому +4

      Blessings. Thank you so much for your kind words 🙏🏽

  • @mthokozisimyende787
    @mthokozisimyende787 10 місяців тому +17

    Amen🙏 I was hoping to see uBaba again on the channel, he dropped too many golden nuggets last time and I'm sure he'll deliver again today

  • @judyjansevanvuuren4859
    @judyjansevanvuuren4859 10 місяців тому +21

    Thankyou for the english. I missed a few programs because of that. I find your shows very enlightening. I am an old white afrikaner but i like the ideas being exchanged here. You are giving people hope.

    • @mentation
      @mentation 10 місяців тому +2

      Thank you for watching .🫱🏼‍🫲🏿 coming to places of engagement

  • @clivemgobozi3470
    @clivemgobozi3470 10 місяців тому +7

    Eish,
    When is Mr Madondo coming back... This guy is a breath of fresh air every time I hear him.

  • @KimKultxretv
    @KimKultxretv 10 місяців тому +19

    Baba Madondo is such a blessing to us , its like he shortens the distance we have travel with all the gems he gives us

  • @josephruzendo2245
    @josephruzendo2245 10 місяців тому +34

    The podcast consistently demonstrates a commitment to improvement in its content. The superior quality of the camera used in its production is evident. We are grateful for the ongoing guidance and education provided. It is challenging to overstate the profound influence this podcast has had on my life. It continues to hold its position as my preferred podcast, as does the one previously mentioned.

  • @SiphiweDlamini-wk1gq
    @SiphiweDlamini-wk1gq 10 місяців тому +5

    MDONDO IS AMAZING!

  • @StarTown7634
    @StarTown7634 10 місяців тому +33

    Always appreciate when uBaba Sifiso Madondo is on the this platform. He really does enlighten and simplify multiple topics. We need more men like him in society.

    • @fanfan9095
      @fanfan9095 10 місяців тому +3

      Thanks Naledi, let’s built our people.

    • @mduduzimhlabathi7146
      @mduduzimhlabathi7146 10 місяців тому +1

      I fully agree with you Naledi, top notch stuff..👌🏽

  • @thulanekolane5990
    @thulanekolane5990 10 місяців тому +7

    You guys just made me look at life in a different way. We need conversations like this as black people in order to grow. Thank you very much.

  • @envystarboy6495
    @envystarboy6495 10 місяців тому +11

    my role model😍... we need more fathers like Bab' Madondo especially in KZN

  • @Vince_78
    @Vince_78 10 місяців тому +5

    What a great time to be alive 😊

  • @wendymapholo7313
    @wendymapholo7313 10 місяців тому +6

    Having ubab'Madondo is always refreshing. He is an earth angel positive reinforcement of ubuntu is the only way we are all going to win and survive as a nation. May we also include hoax youth leaders that exploit children from disadvantaged background. Some of these situations are lessons from unresolved childhood trauma.

  • @tebogomofokeng-si4gw
    @tebogomofokeng-si4gw 9 місяців тому +3

    Nice conversation as usual. Sifiso Madondo is so brilliant breath if fresh air

  • @tshepisomoraka1609
    @tshepisomoraka1609 10 місяців тому +5

    This conversation made to do self-introspection , Thanks Black Pen...

  • @morakaevans6905
    @morakaevans6905 10 місяців тому +7

    Thanks GodPenuel for bringing back again Baba Madondo

  • @jayjames9538
    @jayjames9538 10 місяців тому +4

    "Direction determines destination " Jim Rohn

  • @KaraboMasemola6408
    @KaraboMasemola6408 10 місяців тому +2

    I greatly admire Bab Sifiso's thinking approach, which undoubtedly explains his success. One key aspect of his achievement is his ability to seize opportunities provided by successful systems. This involves distancing oneself from group thinking and recognizing the value of solitude in generating fresh perspectives on approaches to success. Taking time alone enables an individual to explore various strategies and methods that can contribute to their personal growth and accomplishment.

  • @Basiqdigital
    @Basiqdigital 10 місяців тому +4

    you took me back to when Kanye sat with Zane Louw and he said "i was always taught that i could be anything i want to be" which is the reference i keep thinking of when you mention the parents issue..we'll always be slowed down by thoughts or perceptions of ourselves if we choose not to lead from a positive perspective!!

  • @ezekiasmakhanya2510
    @ezekiasmakhanya2510 10 місяців тому +5

    The wisdom from uBaba is something else 🙌 👏 😊

  • @nomfundompondo6987
    @nomfundompondo6987 10 місяців тому +5

    Great conversation, so much to learn - money is energy wow!

  • @msizimagaye9406
    @msizimagaye9406 10 місяців тому +5

    Baba🙌
    I learned. Thank you Penuel

  • @thaborebang2663
    @thaborebang2663 10 місяців тому +4

    I haven't been here in while due to other commitments, but when I saw Madondo I knew I t was going to be a good one

  • @omphemetsetlhapane4919
    @omphemetsetlhapane4919 10 місяців тому +4

    I always enjoy sessions with Mr. Madondo 🤴🏿

  • @ThulaniMdakane-vt5wm
    @ThulaniMdakane-vt5wm 10 місяців тому +8

    Wow 😮 what a session. First I would like to thank you Penuel The Black Pen for teaching me or showing me different things that I didn't put my eyes on and for real I am learning a lot. Great conversation with uBaba humanity Ubuntu it what leaks in our community these days, this thing of you are on your own even our government has said to us if we don't think for ourselves who will so I think that's why people are always thinking for themselves in greedy ways of living their everyday life.

  • @MluTrippleTwo
    @MluTrippleTwo 10 місяців тому +4

    I understand this Bias issue, it kept me from listing to Naye Luphondwana and Tibo Touch for years. But I’ve gladly overcome it.

  • @ziracontractors7841
    @ziracontractors7841 9 місяців тому +2

    Penuel, I appreciate your Podcast it has completely changed my life and developed a polluted mind to a mind of abundance and change. I am from Gaborone - Botswana, I was living in the city (Gaborone) I have since moved back to my home village (Gabane). My mother and I have collaborated, Penuel; we are farming the land, we raise chickens, we have employed 4 people and my children help me. We have days where things are not good but we are hopeful because it does not end here. Sifiso is the Uncle I need, keep bringing him back he has many valuable teachings we appreciate men like him. Kealeboga

  • @sphalush8261
    @sphalush8261 10 місяців тому +3

    mfoka Mlotshwa your podcast is probably the most educational podcast on the internet,
    thank you for this podcast and may it continue to grow and touch more lives🙌

  • @daphneyramano2931
    @daphneyramano2931 10 місяців тому +9

    If people don't understand what Mr Madondo is saying they will never get to know what spirituality mean. We don't need a religion to connect with they self. He spoke treasure right there. I can't thank Mr Madondo enough. 🔥🔥🔥🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

  • @pixeltonenewmedia2657
    @pixeltonenewmedia2657 10 місяців тому +3

    On the point of Mentorship, you are correct, Pen. In personal Branding, we learnt about a Personal Board of Directors. These are our heroes who produce content and write books. Since success leaves clues we can learn from the work they have done.

  • @nlocnil3602
    @nlocnil3602 10 місяців тому +11

    I consciously stopped watching and reading news 3 years ago. Stop social media as well. People believe news keeps them informed and its important to know what's happening around you all the time and that's a fallacy. You only gain anger and paranoia and permanent microagressions. Its entirely not as Important as people make it seem to "stay informed"

  • @Rakgolo_Sello
    @Rakgolo_Sello 10 місяців тому +2

    A very Expensive conversation🎉🎉🎉 .. ..

  • @paulnkosi8557
    @paulnkosi8557 10 місяців тому +2

    Thank you Mr Madondo thank you Pen i really enjoyed this conversation this really touched me,i feel that theres something that has changed in thank you so much.

  • @reggiemabena3630
    @reggiemabena3630 10 місяців тому +3

    'You cannot corrupt the spirit' 🔥

  • @mashudusirwali9729
    @mashudusirwali9729 10 місяців тому +2

    Great platform for us black people to learn about mentorship and other inimical issues that are oppressive in our daily lives.

  • @grantmatshoba96
    @grantmatshoba96 10 місяців тому +2

    Been waiting for the second instalment with bawo Madondo👏

  • @patricknkosi5412
    @patricknkosi5412 9 місяців тому +1

    This is a gem of a conversation. I always preach this concept you just touched. You cannot be rich alone in the family or community, they will drown you! One tall tree in the desert will never survive!!

  • @tshepobotlhoko9009
    @tshepobotlhoko9009 10 місяців тому +9

    Amazing episode as usual. When uBab' Madondo spoke about compounding, i felt that, because i am currently dealing with problems that started a while ago, and if i had implemented the simple principal of daily/weekly check ins, i could've avoided these problems. So i definitely grabbed a few nuggets from todays conversation. 🙏🙏🙏

    • @fanfan9095
      @fanfan9095 10 місяців тому

      ❤ thank you my leader

  • @asisiphoernest1913
    @asisiphoernest1913 10 місяців тому +3

    True and this has been my stand point for the longest time..."everything is a sideshow..." We are meant to procreate and exit. We do this procreation for the prolonged survival of the species

  • @godpenuel
    @godpenuel 10 місяців тому +5

    We filmed this episode a few months ago, for context. Hence the difference in background and setting 🙏🏽

  • @mahlakomnisi5156
    @mahlakomnisi5156 9 місяців тому +1

    Healing by surrounded by people is always in my heart. Growing up, when u give birth, ur mom, ur aunts, come to ur house. No chance of depression, no hard working, u have company and u relax and look at ur child in the eye without distraction. Where theres death, uncles, and aunts come. They stay behind, and withdraw gradually aftet days. They do give u space to be on ur own, but u know u have support. I like that abt Africans.

  • @josephkangandjera2054
    @josephkangandjera2054 10 місяців тому +3

    I honestly did not expect to enjoy this one but yes thanks so much Mr. Madondo and the entire Penuel show team.

  • @thabangsebotsa5851
    @thabangsebotsa5851 10 місяців тому +1

    Pen my brother I'll forever be your fan and wish one day I could meet with you...
    always when um listening to you I pick up 2 or 3 things that are so courageous
    thank you so much for that my brother keep it up.

  • @bongzdeluxe8638
    @bongzdeluxe8638 10 місяців тому +3

    Very very rich conversation more blessings upon you guys

  • @nkaliphomkhize2702
    @nkaliphomkhize2702 10 місяців тому +3

    Penuel Show 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

  • @ananias2580
    @ananias2580 10 місяців тому +2

    Enjoyed this conversation... Keep up the great job as always Pen

  • @tebogomahlangu596
    @tebogomahlangu596 10 місяців тому +2

    Mr. Madodondo dropping gems as usual we appreciate ❤❤❤❤

  • @LineZone244
    @LineZone244 10 місяців тому +2

    Thank you for this wonderful session.

  • @kenosimodiakgotla5844
    @kenosimodiakgotla5844 10 місяців тому +1

    This is so good, need to listen to it again. compounding makes so much sense. great interview

  • @HighjackPodcast
    @HighjackPodcast 10 місяців тому +1

    Thanks for bringing back my favourite guest of all time ❤❤❤

  • @siphesihlejiyane1316
    @siphesihlejiyane1316 10 місяців тому +1

    Thanks to uBab Madondo Mfoka Mlotshwa for a great conversation, I had to go and watch the previous sit down before this one.
    Umsebenzi omuhle awuqhubeke Mfoma Mlotshwa, isandla sedlula ikhanda🙋🏽‍♂️🙋🏽‍♂️

  • @daniel_maholela
    @daniel_maholela 10 місяців тому +1

    I can't wait to watch this eposide. It's always fruitful

  • @jayem20244
    @jayem20244 9 місяців тому +1

    Thank you for your greatness! Enjoying the learnings and perspectives. Great videos of all times! Keep it up!❤

  • @SamDaZain9843
    @SamDaZain9843 10 місяців тому +4

    Yoh Penuel,your beard and hair grows much quicker....I feel like that Zimasa episode was a +30 days back coz that's Definitely grown quicker 🙆🙆

    • @godpenuel
      @godpenuel 10 місяців тому +1

      😂😂😂 this is an old episode.

    • @SamDaZain9843
      @SamDaZain9843 10 місяців тому

      @@godpenuel 😂😂😂I was surprised...now I understand Black pen🙏

  • @thabisokepelele9242
    @thabisokepelele9242 10 місяців тому +1

    Indeed we are in the new age of information thank you guys

  • @simonsimza275
    @simonsimza275 10 місяців тому

    one of my favourites, mr ma D

  • @Bra_Less
    @Bra_Less 10 місяців тому +1

    Bro penuel once again what a dope show! Very mind blowing, learning new things, information, and receiving knowledge! I did not know about the word apprenticeship, thanks my dude such a dope one. Can't wait for next Monday!!

  • @quintonskhosana6581
    @quintonskhosana6581 6 місяців тому

    Great content..well done.

  • @sizwepersonaltraining
    @sizwepersonaltraining 10 місяців тому +2

    Interesting. When you separated your self is a yoga technique called awareness. I learned this when I studied a yoga course which is based on old indian techniques

  • @thatoqwabe1281
    @thatoqwabe1281 10 місяців тому

    Listening from Orlando....... GUEST IS FIRE with the gems

  • @siyandamfundo313
    @siyandamfundo313 9 місяців тому +1

    Great show as always 🔥

  • @RegaliaByNomahlubi
    @RegaliaByNomahlubi 9 місяців тому

    Hayi... This here is wisdom. My first time listening to Me Madondo ja wisdom.

  • @sibusisososibo
    @sibusisososibo 10 місяців тому +1

    What an inspiring conversation and a come back will be highly appreciated. Dankie bafwethu!

  • @dumisanisangweni2318
    @dumisanisangweni2318 10 місяців тому +3

    WHAT A WHOLESOME CONVERSATION 😢

  • @danisilemlotshwa4752
    @danisilemlotshwa4752 9 місяців тому +1

    Thanks Kingpen for growth ✨️

  • @jeisonkunene6376
    @jeisonkunene6376 10 місяців тому +3

    You cant expect people who are fighting survival issues, bread and butter issues to be volunteering in contrast to a population who can do that as a form of finding a sense of purpose

  • @bonginkosimunyai1153
    @bonginkosimunyai1153 10 місяців тому +4

    can you guys next time post links to your guest social platform pages. thank you Pen.

  • @user-uj4jf1ii6w
    @user-uj4jf1ii6w 10 місяців тому

    Great episode

  • @bigthangz5489
    @bigthangz5489 10 місяців тому +2

    wise wise wise man.... siyabonga

  • @MORENEWS-hu7bm
    @MORENEWS-hu7bm 10 місяців тому +4

    CAN'T WAIT

  • @katlegommola3375
    @katlegommola3375 10 місяців тому +2

    As promised, I'm here

  • @mpumelelosibanyoni2985
    @mpumelelosibanyoni2985 10 місяців тому

    Beautiful

  • @nkululekomasinga188
    @nkululekomasinga188 2 місяці тому

    Great interview

  • @hawed19
    @hawed19 10 місяців тому +2

    Mr Madondo are you from Zim? We have many Madondo’s here. Love the convo and please come back ❤

    • @fanfan9095
      @fanfan9095 10 місяців тому

      I am coming back home, 🎉

  • @TheGreatEscape420
    @TheGreatEscape420 10 місяців тому +2

    Ace Magashule should have opted to come engage with the black pen as a chiller myself I know what the different podcasts offer and many of us know podcast and chill is primarily an entertainment channel for a figure such as Ace it would have been very fruitful and knowledge enriching too many of us citizens of South ahh who are very in tune and curious about the south african political landscape...And as for Ace Magashule propaganda against him made me realise the might propaganda, go ask the people of free state about him he made a lot Visible changes while he was the premier whether he was corrupt or not atleast he is one leader we can point out what he did more than anything he is a Realist

  • @sicelosimelane3844
    @sicelosimelane3844 10 місяців тому +3

    Siyabonga bafwethu. Le tymer is so inspiring.

  • @thandolwenkosiclarencekhoz4041
    @thandolwenkosiclarencekhoz4041 10 місяців тому

    Thank you Penuel

  • @iammateso
    @iammateso 10 місяців тому +3

    Fascinating stuff!

  • @sechaba_worldwide
    @sechaba_worldwide 10 місяців тому +1

    Dope conversations! Danko Pen!

  • @leimelabusi1456
    @leimelabusi1456 10 місяців тому +2

    THANKS SO MUCH

  • @sisanelantobela
    @sisanelantobela 7 місяців тому

    Great

  • @KAGISOMASEMOLA
    @KAGISOMASEMOLA 10 місяців тому +1

    Also, came back here to say this; this weekend I was speaking with s confidant of mine and he says we should have stories to share with people everywhere we go. I was like “no, I want to be boring” mainly because I don’t want attention, I want to blend in and the money should be like another thing in the bag of things in life.

  • @bhekimsimang8476
    @bhekimsimang8476 10 місяців тому +1

    Keep the bar high Pen ❤

  • @sibusisosiyabongandaba698
    @sibusisosiyabongandaba698 10 місяців тому +3

    Sifiso speaks about Listening to his Gut @Penuel. Do yo have any recommendations of books which speaks of how to train yourself to listen to your Gut. I kind of relate to what he's saying.

  • @benathimthalane9730
    @benathimthalane9730 10 місяців тому +1

    Mnumzana Madondo ingathi yingonyama xa umjonga🦁

  • @nongcebogazide4987
    @nongcebogazide4987 10 місяців тому +1

    I am here to stay.

  • @Mrtdogg101
    @Mrtdogg101 10 місяців тому +2

    Losing away the cultural and language intricacies would do more harm than any God. I'm a Tswana guy and I have consumed copious amounts of content from SA in different languages and I have learned a lot. Speaking as a foreign i am against the often overblown criticism when yall engage in your local language which is not more than a few words, those that claim they cant hear should listen for context and stop obsessing on the one word they couldn't here. This is still a SA podcast and yall shouldn't kill that authenticity to appease a few complaining folks otherwise if they are really interested they will learn. Don't lose your authenticity trying to appease the global market, if they are really here for you they will catch up...next thing you ll be losing valuable time trying to explain what ibeshu is.

  • @otsilefatsitso4256
    @otsilefatsitso4256 10 місяців тому

    If you can, be the mentor you wish you had🤞 mentorship is necessary... i find my mentors in podcasts like the penuel show and london real

  • @simphiwemthembu7678
    @simphiwemthembu7678 10 місяців тому

    I agree with ubab’uMadondo regarding the gut feeling. You can be very experienced in business but go for a stupid business deal (which ticks all the boxes of a bad deal) but your gut feeling just refuses to let logic prevail. The feeling does not depend on experience, theres just something that tells you to not do something or to do something. Your gut feeling does not really assist in every decision you make but when it does, its usually pulling towards a decision which does not make sense when you think about logically.

  • @sazindlela4498
    @sazindlela4498 10 місяців тому

    Can uMadondo be my mentor too. What can I do (for him) in order for me to be close to this man. Always great to hear this man speak, aphinde abuye azosibusisa with this knowledge and inspiration

  • @nomusapreciousbuthelezi22
    @nomusapreciousbuthelezi22 10 місяців тому +4

    I am so in-line with how your guy can take you places🎉🎉🎉🎉thanks God Penuel

    • @sophiastephanus4665
      @sophiastephanus4665 10 місяців тому

      Give our Whites of South Africa ESKOM privatised by Zuma and ANC continue with Ramaphosa ANC liberation war murders to promote thievery. Mafia movie joke makers with Rich and Wealthy South Africa Country

    • @sophiastephanus4665
      @sophiastephanus4665 10 місяців тому

      Give our Whites of South Africa ESKOM privatised by Zuma and ANC continue with Ramaphosa ANC liberation war murders to promote thievery. Mafia movie joke makers with Rich and Wealthy South Africa Country

    • @sophiastephanus4665
      @sophiastephanus4665 10 місяців тому

      Give our Whites of South Africa ESKOM privatised by Zuma and ANC continue with Ramaphosa ANC liberation war murders to promote thievery. Mafia movie joke makers with Rich and Wealthy South Africa Country

    • @sophiastephanus4665
      @sophiastephanus4665 10 місяців тому

      Give our Whites of South Africa ESKOM privatised by Zuma and ANC continue with Ramaphosa ANC liberation war murders to promote thievery. Mafia movie joke makers with Rich and Wealthy South Africa Country

    • @sophiastephanus4665
      @sophiastephanus4665 10 місяців тому

      Give our Whites of South Africa ESKOM privatised by Zuma and ANC continue with Ramaphosa ANC liberation war murders to promote thievery. Mafia movie joke makers with Rich and Wealthy South Africa Country

  • @elprofisori7325
    @elprofisori7325 10 місяців тому

    Ek gaan julle stiek, priceless. I am stealing this one🤣

  • @abdurahim59
    @abdurahim59 10 місяців тому

    1:20:33 Pen, I love the show. Maybe you can talk about this some other time. But where do we draw the line and not continue to use childhood experiences to justify irresponsible behavior to ourselves