Exposing the Child Maintenance Service - Noel Willcox Tells His Story
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
- Anything Goes with James English Ep/373
Exposing the Child Maintenance Service - Noel Willcox Tells His Story
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I am going through this with my ex, he kept asking when I was getting pip an because he didn’t want to wait he took me to child maintenance they now take £90 a month for one child after that and bills I’m left with £10 a month and it’s been hard I’ve been more suicidal and hungry now than I ever was going through child abuse as a kid. Every message from child maintenance I get so anxious I’m sick x
James, this man is bang on the button. Especially when the change over in 2012 from csa to cma. I had a £10,000 debt come through the door saying if i didn't pay, they would send me to jail, take my passport, or driving licence.
Me & my ex split due to her drinking & DV. I looked after my lad naive to the fact she was going through family courts to obtain an interim residency order, prohibited steps order & a restraining order. Next thing CSA are sending letters saying I have to pay £468 a month on a £1600 salary.
2012 csa sut cma opens & i receive a £10,000 debt & told to pay it or else.
This needs to be a movement. So many mens lives are lost because of this.
I always provided, and she took my boy at 7. She refused to let me see him and charged me through the nose via CSA & CMA. 1st of May 2023, my boy knocked on my door after 10 years of chaos, suffering at the hands of an alcoholic. I'm now repairing all the damage that's been caused.
This nearly cost me my life, severa ltimes. Addiction & alcohol became my coping strategies. Im now detoxed & trying to spread the word.
I've been on with Samworth, just search. Mikey Peers.
Csa & CMA are responsible for many suicides. The system is broken and highly unfair, and it promotes the residential parent to prevent access to gain more money.
I'd be happy to share my story.
Mikey Peers
James used to think you were alright but now UV been a jump on the popularist bandwagon on any topic shame
James the CSA are a joke I was paying them for years my ex committed benefit fraud had to pay the DWP over 7 grand back she was claiming child benefit falsely but as she was getting the child benefit even when my son was working at 18 years old I still had to pay ,the only way I got it stoped was to get my MP involved but I payed 3 grand over I have never got a refund !
Here troops see that mob that work at child maintenance department they will see this they will now know the cats oot the bag this has been going on for 20 years extortion from father's at the highest LEVELS the clock is TICKING fellow fathers 👍
I didn't even watch a minute, having seen that misrible logo on the thumbnail.
10 years I was mandated to pay ridiculous amounts of money for a childmy ex partner refused to let me see.
Destroyed my life, not the money, the fact a female parent could dictate my access.
Broke me, still living with the consequences today.
Luckily, my lad knocked on the door at 17 after 10 years of chaos.
CMA is a fraudulent operation.
I'm really happy for you that your son came and found you bro. I dearly hope this happens with my son. I've always paid CMS btw.
I’m there now mate , done 11 years , ruined me and still is today , haven’t seen child for 6 years , I’ve given up now looking to leave the country as I’ll be homeless here again soon with these prices , they took 10k overnight for false arrears whilst I was paying to sleep in a hotel for months at the start of the pandemic . Meanwhile she’s never worked and up the duff again , I had to cut contact with her as she is evil I still get unknown calls but not one hour to see my child in 6 years . Evil system evil people
I'm feeling this before listening to all of it. I pay a lot of money each month for my ex wife to pick and choose when I see my lad. To lie about why I don't see him. To play mental games with me with regards to when I can see my boy. Yet if I want to take it to court, I've got to pay even more money. Horrible situation and really not fair.
You don't have to pay you rep yourself
I would talk with your son more, thats all you can do, ask him does he want to live with his mother, give him the choice of being able to live with you minus what the court said that can be resolved with a good lawyer if you are willing to pay for it. There is always a way, it just takes so much effort and it doesnt mean you dont think your son is worth it, but the system is setup against men in terms of the children's welfare.
Hey man.. you’re not a lone wolf. I know exactly what you mean. The way I think is ‘hang in there because one day your kid will see it for what it really is.’ It’s hard.
You're not paying the money so you get to see your son, you're paying it because you're his parent and should share in the cost of the things he needs. Any issues you have with the boy's mother is a separate issue. So many men seem to think the money is payment for access and it isn't.
@BanjoPixelSnack no I agree with you, absolutely. Its a fact though that the main carer is entitled to more money the less the other parent see's the child. Secondly, my 8 year old lad doesn't cost more just because I get a pay rise, which is an issue in the system, not his Mum.
9 years and 9 months of torment and torture. £58,000+ paid. James thank you for having this chap on the podcast. We do need help with this, it's definitely criminal. Be strong men it does come to conclusion. Painful at the time.
So your kids aren't worth £6,500 a year?
Any parent would gladly pay any amount of money towards thier children,but not to a neglectful parent who doesn't use the money for its intended purpose. The payments need to be regulated to ensure its being spent correctly.
@@jayneoharrow3827 Absolutely yes of course my son is.
@@jayneoharrow3827Another DELINQUENT 💯‼
@@jayneoharrow3827GOING BUY YOUR PROFILE AYE VERY HIGHLY DOUBT YOUV NOT GOT KIDS !! ?
What a well informed guest. He has uncovered something huge here. The family court and CMS are a disgrace and have blood on their hands with what they put parents through.
One of the worst aspects of it is that it's in the receiving parent's financial interest to withhold access to the child because the fewer nights the child spends with the paying parent, the more he/she pays. So they end up paying money they can't afford to a child they're not allowed to see and they now have no money to pay a solicitor to help them. That's the next 18 years of their life. It's a miracle the suicide figures aren't higher.
Men are targeted and mothers empowered...all by design to help destroy the family unit. Weak men mean more controllable societies.
then you have the other side of it where the paying parent lies or gives up work, and even reduces their hours so they can pay much less! POVERTY is what the issue is here, poverty in a child's life causes the stress and misery. Both parents need to focus on the children in these situations and not game playing and with holding money because they hate the other parent or they are bitter and angry that they have to give the other parent money to ensure their own children have a good childhood. Some parents are selfish when it comes to money and their children are not their prority!
@@clarab1646 What you describe isn't 'the other side'. It's the same side. The system puts many in a position where they have a choice between giving up work and having almost nothing to live on and working and having less than nothing. So they give up work. So they can afford to eat.
Yeah when my fixed mortgage rate ends and I can't afford to live what are my choices, cardboard box and no job, can't wait..
@PurpleMetro33 don't be so quick to give up your property rights and don't obediently leave. You have an equitable interest in your property and that affords you power. In addition to that look into mortgage fraud and you will find the crooks lend you eff all. Digits on a screen. In summary, there are multiple breaches in the initial so called contract....they never sign as they know they are committing fraud and will not put their name against it. They securitise the agreement they then trade on stockmarkets....making further shekels. They also take out insurance in the hope you default. They have 90 days to drag out before they can claim the whole amount. Once they get their insurance payout they sell the debt to collectors to bring further misery. However the debt collectors have no contract with you so rely on your ignorance to give up your property. Please research. Loads of groups out there now exposing this bankster fraud. All allowed with crooked government backing. It's a vile , parasitical system. Good luck.
I've paid child support for 13 years and haven't seen my son for 13 years. It saddens me to hear what is happening to parents up and down the country.
My friend , why would you do this ? Why pay .
My heart feels for you, good man for paying and supporting your child regardless, many men wouldn't do this, I just hope the money was spent on your son
Why would you do this?, you deserve to be rinsed
I know how you feel.
I have been paying for 15 years and I have never seen my daughter I have been threatened with jail had my driving licence take and a left me with £193 a week they took the money direct from my employer the CSA are evil 😈
It's my 2nd time back to this video. Going through this now. I'm worried about it that much I can't sleep and it's 6am. Currently paying direct but ex wife wants more and have involved them. She is lying on her c1a form prior to court claiming domestic abuse which is upsetting to see. Doesn't want me be the dad and refusing contact.But wants the cash. My business is failing due to the currently climate and hospitality industry on its bum. I have high monthly debt. Worried this could sink me. Dark times ahead. Sad that someone you love has the power to screw your life when you leave them
This fella has really done his homework and speaks alot of truth and makes alot of sense. Very interesting
The child maintenance service is the biggest and most destructive system to young men, and it is completely weaponised against men who have children, I've been a victim to this since I was 18 years of age I'm 35 now and still suffering til this day. First time I spoke about this since seeing this podcast.
How have you been a victim?
It’s simple - both parents should have joint custody automatically when and if the relationship breaks down , no parent should be superior to the other . If one of these parents decide they infact do not want to see and take responsibility of the child 50% of the time they need to CONTRIBUTE to the childs upbringing , Now this scenario should be put in place for people in relationships which have produced a child . One night stands are another thing entirely! If a women falls pregnant from a one night stand no man should be forced / robbed to pay for that child’s upbringing. The question should be asked to the women “ do you want this child if the man is not going to be in attendance “ if she accepts this fate then unfortunately she is on her own . Not one penny should be paid . The government have weaponised and financialised sex/ relationships knowing full well the last 20 years of culture revolutions have emasculated men . It’s a con ! Simple !
@dannythegreat453 first half of what you said made absolute sense. The second half makes no sense, if your sleep with someone on a one night stand, use protection. It's really not difficult.
It makes perfect sense - the choice is the women’s ( if you want to keep this child it’s on you no one else ) if the man does not want a child. If he does then the first part of the statement above comes in to play . But if from the very start the man has no plans to be a round it should be up to the mother to accept responsibility on her own .
@@dannythegreat453 or up to the man to wear a condom?
I knew a lass in high school, after leaving we lost touch but i always see her on facebook posting hair nails lashes the lot, two kids to different blokes, always loads of new toys for them, she doesnt work, has a nice big house well decorated, i always wondered how is she affording all this?! Yeah makes sense now, this has been a complete eye opener! Thanks so much!
Thank you for this Podcast James, its good to see other men/women and relate. A few years ago, I was bringing home £1,500 per month after my taxes and one day, I had a letter from the CSA asking for £600 per month. I had been paying for years and then this huge sum?
With no back payments or arrears, I couldn’t understand where they got these figures?’ I called and they couldn’t give me an answer, a few days later, I received a threatening letter about sending me to prison and taking my driving licence.
I see my son every other weekend but they didn’t care about me, my family or any of the situation.
I went into a dark place, luckily I managed to talk to my ex, as she was apparently getting £200 from that? So I offered to pay a little more if we could do it out of CSA.
It’s so bad and the biggest bullies.
Dealing with these parasites seriously requires a mental health warning ⚠️⚠️ it breaks you, young dads going though this system need help now
My advice to them is do not pledge your loyalty to uk. Secondly make sure you have a skill that can take you anywhere in the world and do not fall for any debt trap. You make sacrifices for your women and children and she'll turn around and backstab you to live a fake lifestyle on your expense. The sad part is those same kids will turn around and hate you because of the nonsense the mother filled thier heads with.
The comment section is shocking, all the dad's saying we pay but don't see our kids,
Firstly : if you see your child or not it's the responsibility of both parents to financially be responsible for your child,
Second :your child needs food, heating, clothes, ect regardless if you see ur child or not
3rd: it's only £100 to put a application into court to get contact so no excuse!
@RYFM food cloth and shelter is provided by the fathers tax dollars. Secondly if a woman make false allegations on you there's going to safe guard in place and contact centre every fortnight is going to be the next step 65 pounds per hour for 2 hours. If the child don't want to stay you still have to pay.if she call up and say the child is sick you still have to pay. If she fell out with the centre . You'd have to wait for your next hearing weeks later. So cut the bullshit. You think the messed up kids in society today is homeless kids? Nope it's mostly fatherless homes. So cut the bull. The reason why society is like this it's because its more revenue for the system having 2 parents living apart. I was paying 240 a month and 65 pounds and hour every fortnight on a 1200 a month gross salary in 2013 and nothing become of it because of selfish women that doesn't look out for the children best interest.
@@RYFMhow do you expect a bloke to pay fr their kid when they don’t see them due to the mother being a vile toxic lying C###.
@@RYFMif the child needs heat ,food and blah blah blah. Why doesn't the dusty woman pay for it? Instead of having her hands out like a beggar and rinsing the man for thousands of pounds.
I got shafted with csa / cms now I have kids full custody and she pays 6 quid a week in full time employment 🤯
Same here! Piss take!
Great interview. Always the same story the ex stops you seeing her kid for no reason but it suits them. They ring CSA so they can get money out of you. You try get access to your child and fail miserably because the system is against you. This guys talks alot of sense. James please try get an advocate from Fathers 4 justice on the podcast.
‘Her’ kid? That alone spoke volumes about yourself. And no he doesn’t talk sense. Went on their with his idea of what he wanted to talk about but literally hadn’t put any thought into what the alternative is, advice for paying parent if they are having these issues or feeling so low they want to hurt themselves and literally pulling figures and terminology from the ether that he hadn’t a clue what it meant. I could literally go through that interview and pull apart so many issues he got wrong etc. Well done James English though he really was trying to achieve the best from the interview and asked all the right questions unfortunately the interviewee was clueless… Child maintenance is a broken system but as is every other system the government gets it’s hands on. Imo? Probably a sh*t load of money laundering going on by the government, another way for them to suppress people, another way of keeping family’s broken and at war with each other, etc etc. Comments like yours do not help in actual fact they are an example of how it’s working and you are helping perpetuate the whole thing…. Don’t be a sheep an educate yourself 🙄🙄🙄
I always find it's the same old story, Dad gets out of paying by being self-employed and lying to the csa about their real income? So mum takes on all the financial responsibility, and Dad just gets to have fun on weekends?
All pro nouns a side if your having to pay for your child you deserve to see your child you shouldnt have to pay thousands in court to get nowhere. This is abit off topic as this interview is about CSA corruption. Ive not expierenced this but they do hold alot of power over you which is wrong. It should be sorted through mediation. If the non resident parent isnt interested then yes they should be forced to pay.
@Junit50legend I agree that if you really care about your kids' feelings, you will put whatever type of way you feel about money aside and remember the other parent has just as much right to access? If something happens to you in life, it's the next place they will probably end up?
This feed is a perfect example of what the system not just the CMS want. Mums against Dads or Dads against Mums. It’s all linked the sooner both parents can see that the better. Be good if James could get the female perspective of this subject so we can be clear it’s not dads against mums. It’s dads against the whole system not just the CMS.
This is tragic. So so sad. A lot of good men are abused are used by a bent system. There has to be a better way. So many upstanding, loving fathers, who have no access to there children. Respect to this man.x
Fantastic interview James! I've got no children .but absolutely gobsmacked that this goes on it needs stopping
Absolutely brilliant, I’ve been through the process and it was very taxing on my mental health
I just want to say thank you to these guys for this good work
Wow I was actually thinking this was only happening to me. System definitely needs changing!!
Pay 1 quid a month and tell them to f off lad, unfortunately they are one of the most powerful entities for fucking over the male population... pay 1 quid your not in dispute with them your agreeing to pay and they can no longer do anything about it
I'm paying CSA for my 3 children. That I haven't seen for 3 years. No social services involved. No court injunctions, no judge has ever stopped me seeing my children. I pay £500 a month CSA and I can't afford to get a solicitor to take her to court to get access. It's a living nightmare.
Serious question wit age are you considering your situation ! ?
Represent yourself,there's no reason to use the excuse that you can't afford a solicitor,as long as you can keep your cool and not let emotions take over you will come across better than any solicitor, the only hard part is the paperwork and creating all your evidence and court bundle do not give up
Mate dont use a solicitor ... use a McKenzie Friend ... theres organisations out there that consist of dads who have gone through the same process so have the knowledge & knowhow & wont charge anywhere near a solicitor but will get you the same outcome. Solicitors are leaches ...the longer your case takes the more they make whereas a McKenzie Friend typically works on a fixed fee basis irrespective of timeframe
You're complaining about £500 a month for 3 children??? That doesn't even cover food for them all. And you have your own life.
500 for 3?! I mean it's a lot of money, but try paying £365 for just one!
Listened to it on Apple podcast earlier. Rotten to the core not just this draconian system. Living in it and it needs a factory reset the lot of it. I try to be civil and communicate, but the system with CMS just being a branch of it promotes turmoil with its agents/social workers.
I’m so happy to hear this is being talked about… it’s beyond outrageous and stressful…
My husband was paying direct debit for 1 child who we would see every other weekend and have her for all holidays… paid for any uniform or additional needs.
He has 2 other children… out of the blue… contact was stopped and child maintenance did attachment to earnings… £600/£700 a month 🤷🏽♀️ he tried to evidence he had been paying… they didn’t care… he tried to fight it… no one wanted to listen…
They are gangsters and it’s all a exploitation campaign…
Who on earth can afford so much for one child? No explanation where this figure came from… this payment interferes with paying rent and council tax. Couldn’t afford to pay for the car, lost that. 2 other children suffered… it really makes no sense. Just random ongoing payments with no reasoning… 😭🤬
It's absolutely ridiculous, completely agree. My husband pays over £1000 per month for a 18yr old daughter he hasn't been allowed to see for over 8yrs. She is now at Uni and working and they won't close the case until his ex contacts them. She won't do it, she ignores all calls etc from them and there is nothing we can do. We can't even change bank accs because they take it direct from his wages. 🤬
@@mikalahamilton4158well if she is 18 surely you can contact the CMS and tell them no more "child" no more child maintenance.
Get a dna in place and they will have to take your situation into consideration. I’m going through a nightmare. Got trapped by a girl and she went to csa. Screwing me to wall with no parentental rights or nothing
No disrespect but why choose a man who has other kids before you, you know what it comes with
Don’t make children. They’re expensive and when u have them, your wants and needs are secondary. Stop crying and practice birth control
It’s a scam the CSA should be in jail, after a couple of years of getting my wage arrested from them me and my ex come to an agreement which didn’t involve the CSA but when she contacted them to tell them she no longer required there involvement they ignored her and to this day they still try and take my money. Something needs to be done about it.
Monetising this situation has stopped so many kids from seeing their parents it’s an absolute travesty
To anyone struggling seeing there children & can’t afford to be represented by a solicitor, do it yourself! I’ve done it & it’s not as hard as you think, everything’s on the internet..
I did the same ~ represented myself at court ~ did all the paperwork and got regular contact … but ; paid through the teeth in maintenance .. over $200K AUD over the entire period … the nightmare is over … I survived ! God bless any man going through hell .. you will get to the good .. 🇦🇺🙏🏼
My experience has been quite different. My son is 17 and have always struggled getting any sort of maintenance or more importantly for him to have a relationship with his son. I’ve worked full time since he was 4 when the CSA closed down he had 14k wiped from his debt and it started again. I know there’s so many men who provide for there kids and get the piss taken out of them, when they have the child all weekend buy clothes etc pay for school trips then it should be deducted from the CMA payment they have to make. If the man has the child half the week then he shouldn’t also have to pay . My kids dad has been on holidays abroad, made his other kids lives comfortable and gave their mum money, yet never have enforced anything other than take money out his benefits when claiming, they don’t do anything in the periods for up to 2 years where he’s not claiming benefits or working even though he’s obvs working… they system just doesn’t work.
👏🏼
Wow, the CMS are horrible. For years they absolutely persecuted me, despite having a private arrangement and 50/50 access to my daughter. In the end, I stopped working and stopped paying and in court, I got the judge to ask the mother to write a letter to them saying that we have a private arrangement and needed to close the case file.
A national scandal right there. After I seperated I calculated what I should pay and set this up direct to mum, as I knew 6 months down the line she would've got the CS onto me, as I had been financially abused for majority of our relationship. Feel for men out there who are continuing to be financially abused by the government
I've always paid and then the RP went to CMS out of punishment because I got more time with my child ordered by the courts. I offered more than CMS but they refused because the RP wanted to be difficult. Too many times has CMS been used as a way to punish the NRP.
Great interview. Good information here. I didn't realise the statistics and the dark side to CSA. I always knew there was something suspicious going on. When you call CSA, the advisors just blindly follow what they're told.
My ex, had major drug and alcohol problems, social services, mental health specialists and addictions and substance abuse nurses all gave reports as evidence that she was a danger and a detriment to herself and my two sons. CSA refused to acknowledge that the money I was sending her through their collection services she put in place was just facilitating her addictions. Even after I got my kids away from her, they came after me for arrears which I'm still paying now... Nobody knows where their mum is at all. Not even her own family. Yet CSA demand the payments so they can take their 24% even though my boys are with me and there is strong evidence to suggest she is harming herself with substances. CSA IS A JOKE!
This is criminal ffs
This exact thing is happening to me!
My husband has dealt with exactly what you're saying for the last 8 years and was never given any access to his daughter. She is 19 now, at Uni and works at Tesco. They're still taking over a £1000 per month off him. Collect and pay, even though he never missed a payment etc but because his ex said she wouldn't accept direct payment. I worry about my husband everyday. Something needs done asap before more father's take their own life.
It thought it stops at 18
@@Shaun-hb6cv so did we! Her mother has to contact them to say she's left school, has a job and is going to uni before they will do anything with it. If she doesn't contact them they just keep taking! Our word isn't good enough!
That is crazy man something needs to be done
You do realise they can’t have you on collect and pay for longer than 6 months if you haven’t missed a payment? The CMS are making over £200 a month from your husband. You need to address this. The operators are useless. Demand to speak to a case worker.
Then the ex is still claiming child benefit. You can fill out an online CB fraud form (takes 2 mins) and HMRC investigate. Ex has to provide evidence that she's either left FT education (Uni doesnt count) or is child is dependant. Your partner can also claim back overpayment from small claims court.
My experience is quite different, I've always been the primary carer for my child, always encouraged contact with her father, never managed to get a penny out of him.
Same here
Opposite here
When I see things like this it makes me sick, knowing there are mothers out there encouraging contact but the arsehole father isn’t interested
When on the flip side there are fathers that would give anything to see their children but there are mothers who go out of their way to stop it happening
The ones who ultimately suffer are the children😕
Did u not listen to a word he said men dont want anything to do with child mateinance as there 2 scared and taking there own lifes alright for u women that get everything given to u try get everything taken from u always the women complaining what they haven't got hahahah
@@andrewmccready759100% bro, both examples are brutal
Superb episode.
I just wanted to say that as a British Solider and have been divorced, I feel the system is an utter disgrace, to men its really hard.
I helped bring up my 3 step children, the my ex left me, told lies to the kids, so not only did I lose my ex but the 3 children as well, heart broken to say the least.
There has been little to no help for me both mentally and well I just hit the gym and throw metal around.
What I am trying to say is that just take one day at a time and you will get through it, stay strong, be positive because life is wonderful and I am only just coming out the other side now.
God Bless to you all.
Why can’t child maintenance ask for your proof of outgoings before setting a fraudulent price that you can’t afford. Surely if your only getting paid 2k a month with out goings of 1k rent £300 car payment, £200 worth of bills, £100 grocery shopping then you should be liable to pay half of what you’re left with at least. Child maintenance service is the biggest crime towards hard working men trying to make a living.
@JamesEnglish ive been involved with the csa/cms for over 21 years. You guys have not even scratched the surface with this podcast bud. Sadly you have to learn the rules of the game and learn how to play them. Its brutal. Beyond brutal.
Exactly.
As soon as I heard "16/18yr I think".
Was, Dude, it can be up till their 20th birthday.
I was 6 months into paying CSA never missed a payment. Then I have over £5000 in arrears?! It never made sense to me why this debt has come out of no where. When questioned I had to provide evidence in which I did and I have still heard nothing back from the investigation and still have that debt over my name?
I was involved with the csa from day one (1993) I was paying £103 a week leaving me after my bills -£70 a week. As my wages went up over the years so did the payments. I wish I kept all the paperwork to show how they treated people. No problems seeing my child every weekend apart from not having any money to do anything,around 80k I paid from 93/2005 . Something needs to be done ASAP to help absent parents in the future . I wouldn’t say no to a bit of compo either.
Get a data request of the CSA them must give you all the files they have on you , I was able to cross references them with all the letters the sent me and I went to my MP with them and get my case sorted !
@@MrMacon567 all files have been deleted apparently
Horrible experience with the child maintenance service! Nothing made sense! Had to wait on hold for hours to speak to someone! They lie! I had to quit my job because I couldn't even afford to pay my rent! Oh, family court twice in 5 years and still don't see my daughter! The system is a joke.
I have a friend who had a baby several years ago and was strictly told by her own mother not to put her boyfriend's name on the birth certificate. I asked why, she said "because then he will have paternal rights" these women are bloody crazy!
He would get it straight away going to court. All that does his father unknown on birth certificate. Scally behaviour.
Incorrect, if the Father is not named on the Birth Certificate and denies parentage. It goes to a DNA test before Parentage is assumed, unless the Father admits it.
Fathers need so much more support! It’s disgusting what Iv seen my brothers go through!
It is the same for my brother. He is a great dad, but he has had to pay more than his fair share and it has caused him so much stress. His ex contacted child maintenance services to say he had his children a lot less than what he does so she could claim the maximum amount of money, when he tried to argue this with the child maintenance services they said that his ex would have to confirm this was true… it’s so corrupt and in the woman’s favour and he is scared to spend thousands in court,’so just bends to her demands. He isn’t adversed to paying maintenance but there is no equality in any of this at all.
@@JennaPerry-rv4oq yes it’s absolutely disgusting and they wonder why men take there own lifes! More needs to be done, it’s all one sided and it’s all for money! It’s an evil world we live in. Hope your brother gets it sorted. Have a great Christmas 🥰
Thanks for taking the time to look into it , it takes women on the other side to hold the evil accountable
I'm loving this podcast...when you understand your government are a corporation...which is a money making organisation..you start to understand the systems we live under..we are all legal trusts...this happens when we're born..the birth certificate..we are nothing more than a business in which to fleece money from....every single one of us,..the whole system needs to be changed...I've traced this back to 1644..when it all changed....it's all maritime law...the rabbit hole is deeper than we can imagine..
you got it.
This is incredible , what a podcast ... unbelievable that is being allowed to go on....
As far as government bodies go, the CMS is so one sided in favour of the mother. No chance to ask questions, cut off ( on purpose ?) when on chat/phone. About time something was done to help all these fathers paying huge sums of money with no contact with their children. Far too easy to abuse the situation so that less access = more £'s !
Listened to this on Spotify. My ex had a child with a woman who at the time told him she was totally ‘protected’ and on the pill. 4 months into the pregnancy she told him she was pregnant, leaving him no choice to have a discussion with her about other options. She’d been seeing someone else also so there was a question over his paternity (later he did his own DNA and was the father). Anyway, 6 months after child is born, he gets a letter through from CSA, saying you owe such and such amount every week because you have a child with X and she says you earn this and only see you son once a week. She told them he wasn’t paying her anything although at the time he had been paying her an amount they’d agreed together. She went to CSA because she thought she could get more. Thankfully I saw through the CSA bullshit as they tried to add this 20% thing also and I told him not to do that, do it direct. He was seeing having his son two nights a week and sometimes 3, they believed her and did not investigation when she said he only saw him once a week and not overnight. She also told them he was earning about double what he was. She really tried to play the system and when the letter came through it was so evident she had set this trap for the money. Anyway, he actually ended up paying her less than they had privately agreed after the CSA had done calculations with his actual salary. I don’t know what his situation is with it all now but I know she went on to have another three child within five years and has never gone back to work. The CSA is there to be used by these sadly sometimes shameful women who are just having children so they can have money to live off. It’s a total joke of a system and totally unfair and unjust.
But it also works the opposite way to,ymy ex left me with our 16 month old, moved in with the women he cheated with and has scammed the system ever since. Refused to help when I returned to work so had over £400 child care costs a month and he paid £150 a month making so many remarks it was spent on myself, it never even touched my childcare costs. 13 yrs down the line and he's still scamming the system and claimed to be out of work for 2 yrs so paid nothing, I sent info in Jan of jobs he has had since and they still haven't done a thing. He did see our child but now she's 14 she refuses to see him due to his awful attitude towards her and his wife. So I've been left holding and supporting a child we both planned and wanted while he's had 14 yrs of great holidays, paying the bare minimum and flaunting his expensive car and house he bought. All thanks to cms not doing a thing to follow up evidence handed to them so they didn't even have to do their job. They could simply look at hmrc to find his income for the past few years and still haven't bothered.
Do you want to know why?
Skags is why. These women will get their comeuppance .
My best mates wife had an affair, demonised him, took him for half the house, half his savings....and get this 75% of his 30 years super. Then poisoned the kids minds and turned them against him. Why?
He'll hath no fury like a woman who had an affair and others found out.
Out of nowhere I was hit with a DOA, contacted child main and was told I owed 15k and they added on 20k for late payment fees. Couldn’t contest the figures as they calculated it from 4 years prior and the time frame to contest had already past. Asked for a DNA test which took over a year for the RP to become no compliant, was paying £600 a month. Told none of the money would be refunded and 8 months on the case is still yet to be closed. Absolute hell!
If your name isn't on the birth certificate, you are good. You should have gotten a DNA before doing it
@@leonhenry4478he knows that, now mate!
This is the future post office scandal , stand up lads keep strong !!!!! One love ❤️
Me an my wife met at 18/19 respectively.
Had a child at 22. I
Have 5 younger brothers so used to babies.
We’ve had our ups and downs. Not perfect. But love grows like anything with hard work.
That’s what few are willing to do nowadays. Put in the hard graft after having a child. Or in most cases. Before it. Lack of responsibility being taken.
I’ve been here and 100% agree absolutely it’s a totally corrupt shambles of an organisation it’s the same here in Australia
I'm not even on the birth certificate so I have no legal rights over the child yet I legally have to pay for her unless I do a DNA what a joke of a system ruining me financially
alot of people won't like this but most women hold all the cards. my brothers ex threatens him if he got a new job she wouldn't let him see the kids. after she cheated on him and split them up. plus he looks after them 50/50 she bets all benefits and payments from him. the system isn't fair 1 little bit. she's never worked a day in her life and prances around holding all the cards shouting the odds to him. proper pi$$es me off.
@@ashjenkins7591 that's awful man.. I bet if he said to csa he has them 50-50 she would stop contact. Men don't have a leg to stand on. I've got to go to court for a liability order next month. Depending on what they take every week I could lose my flat as I live alone on minimum wage.
Get yourself a DNA test if you’re not on the birth certificate they will pay for it 100%
Parental Responsibility can be given in court my mate I received it that’s as good as being on the BC
I was told I had to pay for it.. And it just doesn't make sense any man can be accused of being the father of a child, harassed, threatened until he pays for a DNA test
This is an interesting topic and an eye opener. Can't believe James didn't know who SERCO are. They practically run everything in the world. Prisons, border farce, CCTV and traffic systems, computer systems, helicopters anything you want they can do. They did DWP benefits assessments, private pension contracts. They take a lot of our taxes.
The best thing to do is never give them your home address, if they can't send you letters they can't make you do anything, as long as you pay. Call them once a year for the new payment. They hate me because I keep saying I have no fixed address and haven't got nowhere to send letters. Hope this helps someone else ❤
so who feeds your kids?
@tania8257 did you read his comment? He say's as long as you pay, phone them once a year for a new payment
Great podcast! Thankyou! Please James we need to shed more light also on good fathers that are being stopped from seeing their children because the mother has dictated this. Most fathers dont have thousands to go through courts. There is no legal aid help if you havent reported any kind of domestic violence either. If you have parental responsibility the mother should not be able to dictate access at all, but this is rife and has been for many years. We need fathers to get free help and access to their children for the childrens sake aswel. How can we change this its heartbreaking and soul destroying
It's hard to come to an agreement with a narcissist or in a case of domestic abuse
Refused contact....not going to say why, I mean, I don't know why. Lol guys a fool.
Spent 15k plus trying to force my ex out of my house ended up loosing 40k on the sale. She used my son against me for 2 years as a threat to let her have the house. Now get to see my lad one day a week after 2 years in court. Child maintenance is the biggest con ever
How did you lose money on your sale? Did you have to pay her from your profit?
@@jayo3074 she bought me out in the end was a complete nightmare
Bad memories from Listening to this. Agree with everything discussed. The CSA caused utter havoc in my life !!!!
A friend of mine was paying basically paying his child maintenance and after a few years it turned out that it wasn’t his kid !!
He still had to carry on paying it unless he paid to prove it
I'm not even on the birth certificate and I'm not legally responsible for the child yet I'm legally meant to pay unless I do a DNA test absolute joke
Wow! That's illegal in my eyes...
@@Shaun-hb6cvyou don’t have to pay cms if there is question of paternity until it is proven you are the father. you don’t have to pay if the mum doesn’t agree to a dna test
I didn't even get a letter asking me about options to do the DNA test they just sent a letter to the mother and still took money from me now I've got to go to court for a liability order.. Im going to go and see what they say. This system is a joke
Just go to court, if you're not the old man then a judge will rule in your favour
My wife had an affair in May 2022, and I moved out of the family home into a touring Caravan on a friend’s driveway. Shared 50/50 custody started immediately, and it was 2 months until I found a council flat, which ironically, I had to extend my wedding loan to move and make it suitable to live in. 2 weeks after the split, CSM were on to me. So, I explained to them that I share 50/50 custody with the mother, and they still demanded £140 per month. Out of principle, I refused to pay this, and they threatened me with all sorts. So, as it stands today, I now pay £496.00 per month for 2 children direct from my wages. I have had to give up my flat because I can no longer afford it, and I no longer have any custody of my children. I really can't understand why if you share equal custody, why you should be expected to pay more?? Surely its more important to have both parents involved in bringing up the children?? CSM along with my ex-wife have sent me to some dark places of the last couple of months and this is just the beginning, i feel helpless. 👎🏻
Ay man just know you're not alone through this, it fing sucks but you're not alone x
There are enough of us to make a change but we are all looking for the next person to make the first move…
Good luck, stay strong, this will pass
It makes them money and enables the women's lifestyle. The kids have never and will never be a priority to these kind of vermin. Its designed that way, they profit from brocken families.. money for courts, cafcas, cms, ss etc etc etc
I was in a similar situation and a bit of advice I can give you is every week that goes by is a week nearer to getting rid of the CSA I was paying them for over 12 years and once it stoped my ex fell off a financial cliff and I had a few pound to do what I wanted good luck !
Been there and it's totally true.
Was paying over £400 a month to see my son on a Wed and Saturday. They have you as you can't afford solicitors...
Never missed a payment to my son. The payments in my eyes should go to a trust scheme for your child... But no the mother wouldn't want that as your paying for her nights out..... Not seen him since July 10th 2010.
Been brainwashed by his Mum..She has made it so so hard for me to have a relationship with him.
Can remember her mum saying if it was up to her I'd never see him again. And obviously this has come true. The CSA have blood on their hands cos they never took into consideration the absent parents situation.... Everybody is different ie jobs, earnings etc... But they were ruthless. Granted I should of paid which I did..... But the system was totally corrupt...... And this has stopped me having more kids cos in my head I was thinking what if this happens again.... Yeah wrong but it's real....
almost identical to my dealings with them. not seen my daughter since 2011. she doesn't want to know me since I wasn't able to afford to be at (literally) the other end of the country every month. 400 a month to her regardless. ended up in a house share at the age of 35! couldn't afford to live in a flat on my own. it massively effected me mentally and I was the same as you. "what if this happens again"
I went to jail for 21 days, I was paying but they wanted more.. I was an apprentice at the time and 33% I was paying them but it wasn't enough. Then the first week I was in prison they sent a letter to my house asking why I have missed my payment. I told them the prison they sent me to will not give me a key to the door so I can't get to work or the post office to make payment!
My daughters mother stopped me seeing my daughter because I found out she was sleeping behind my back when I was at work.
2 weeks later, I got an envelope through the door containing nearly 100 payment slips, each saying I had to pay 172 pounds per slip.
I was earning 112 pounds a week.
I never paid for any of those slips.
17 Yr later I was told that my case had been dropped and I no longer owed a penny.
What is going on.
What beats me is. How can they calculate the payments on ur gross pay and not net pay. Gross pay is not what you take home. So basically you are get charged for money you don't actually make and bring home. That's unfair and corrupt
It was to stop people putting money into there pension as this was not calculated in payment like what I did I overpaid into my pension buy 300 quid a month saved me a bit of CSA money as at least if I make 55 years of age I get some back and buy they way I still payed for my kids over 26 grand in CSA payments 15 years ago !
Try renewing your kids passport as a dad. You have to get a signed letter from the mother. But the mother can just renew it without the fathers consent. My ex constantly puts obstacles in the way and ideas in my daughters head so she doesn't stop over night. Then reports how many nights a year I have her, so she can claim more against me. Thankfully my daughter is starting to see this for her self now she's getting older.
Either passports or clothes ! These women are nuts .
I know that, my kids were Australian citizens, my ex wife wouldnt let me renew there passports 😢
I've never had to write a letter for my daughters father to get her a passport. Are you on the birth certificate?
@@maureenurquhart yes i am, she wouldn't give me their passports to renew and passport office wanted originals
@escort888 that's shocking. Some women are just pure evil. Kids are not pawns to be used. Breaks my heart that their are people out there fighting so hard to see their kids and being stopped. I'm happy to say I'm not one of these women, I've never stopped my ex seeing his child. I find it bizarre that you wouldn't enjoy the peace while they are gone lol.
CSM have absolutely destroyed me financially and ruined my career and health
Omg!! This guy has just described my past experiences to the T! Even down to the not being on the birth certificates and d.o.e. fuck knows how much I've been ripped off .. 😡😡😡🤬🤬
I went through it myself pal, sorry to hear you have been through it it too, but the change over from csa to cma in 2012 nearly cost me my life.
Its a fraudulent operation that promotes predominantly female parents to harbour 7 days a week care for the maximum amount possible.
James has brought to life something most men & and a few women suffer with to the point of suicide.
I wish you well
Mike
My youngest twins are 4 now i have not put any claim in for any child maintenance nor have ever asked him for a penny. I buy all their school clothes,other clothes everything they need on own. I never stopped him seeing them it's me who has to message him to see if he wants see them and then its only couple hours he have them. He then will never ever message to see how they doing or to see them and he go months amd months if i dont message. So its not all us mothers sometimes its the men that cant be arsed.
100% my situation too. Twins also inluded
Fear it’s their biggest tool ask anyone who’s died and come back they’ll tell you deaths nothing to fear.. we need to man up.
My ex is a millionaire. His parents where millionaires. He never gave me a penny when together. When we broke up, he didnt want her any more than weekends. I bought everything for her all throughout school and was her primary carer as she is autistic. He hired private investigators to watch me. I got a £150 a month from him. He swopped in at weekends to do the fun stuff then handed her back so i cluld do the hard stuff. Unfortunately not all dads are angels.
The usual trick is to drop a job and work cash in hand, or get their boss to drop their hours and cook the books. Refusal to take responsibility
Time spent does mean more than money, although I get where your coming from some kids don’t even get that, the dad abandons them physically as well as financially
I feel for you there, some men are scumbags, my daughter had a boy with a guy that turned out to be a cokehead, he was a scaffolder, she tried with him, tried to get him counselling, when she had enough he went out to new Zealand even though she contacted immigration about his drug habit they let him in, found the first girl that would have him, got her pregnant and now he is a resident, no contact, no money, that was 4 years ago 😢
Hope your life has turned around, so I'm dad and grandad now
How illiterate, very single mum live laugh love of you
@@Becka238I took nothing from him when we split. I didn't want the house, I didn't want anything. I didn't even take my clothes and belongings. His mum threw them out. The least he could do was financially support her. It took nearly three years to get the money I do get from him. I still buy all her things as he doesn't. She takes her clothes with her at the weekend and brings them home for me to wash to go back. He may have her at the weekend, but it's only because he doesn't want to do the hard bit during the week. His mum does most for her when there.
In the early 2000's the CSA strategy was as follows: You naively inform the CSA of your separation,they then take several months to reply to you.
Their reply usually informs that you owe several thousands of pounds ( based on your stated income)
They then take 60% of your wage to pay off the backlog of money you "owe".
You'll then fall behind on rent, mortgage,car payments etc ultimately losing them.
At this point you'll come to the conclusion that even though you're being robbed blind,the mother and child ARE NOT RECEIVING THE MONEY YOUR PAYING.
It goes into the metaphorical pot and is shared out amongst OTHER MENS CHILDREN WHO AREN'T PAYING.
If you then think "fuck it" im not paying either , the CSA will send a letter ( and phone you relentlessly) stating they'll take you to court,jail you, confiscate your passport etc.
The letter is supposed to be signed by a magistrate..... It's always a photocopied sheet with an office clerk's signature
This makes the document null and void, only a magistrate can sign and enforce this.
This is your "get out of jail" card.
Simply leave your job and inform the child's mother of the situation, offer to pay her an agreed amount,then tell her NOT to inform the CSA of your whereabouts etc.
They can't enforce these threats if they use fraudulent documents and your ex partner doesn't co operate with them.
Just make sure you keep paying reasonable money to your child.
After several years the CSA give up and cancel the "debt".
The CSA and it's ethics really woke me up to the utter evil and corruption at the heart of the British establishment.
Ill despise them till the day i die.
If you have any brains you will too.
💯. The problem is if you own assets . Obviously there are ways - but it can totally overwhelm your life if you let it .
So true on corrections, they won’t do the corrections. Now I know why
Everything he’s saying is 100% true I’ve experienced most of that. I was homeless and they said I was earning 25k a year when I was on a job seekers sanction and nil income. They told me to prove I was homeless 6 years ago 😂 how? I told them look into hmrc tax records they said we can’t do that. Well how do you know what I’m earning now? 😂 total contradiction
That’s wild!
They also take the highest amount you’ve earns through hmrc- even skip years regardless if that’s what you earnt the previous year . Crackers . Best thing ( if you do not have assets or can move assets ) is stick them letters in the bin .
Same happened to me
Also the resident parent has to pay all the bills. Food uniforms, etc. If a non-resident parent says oh I have this to pay that to pay so I can't pay. But the resident parent can't say that when the bills come in. Why can't it be 50/50?
👌🏼
Get this, so I was in a stable job happy and loving life. Suddenly I’m smacked with a letter saying I owed the child maintenance thousands of pounds. I had no idea, no contact had been made nothing. So my manager calls me into the office and informs me there’s a deduction from earnings order been put in place. I thought so be it, they took nearly 500 a month from my 1000ish salary, I couldn’t afford rent or anything. So I had to pack in my job, claim benefits and now it’s turned me into a depressing mess. Thank you to this guy, and thank you James for another excellent podcast.
This was an amazing podcast James & Noel,
I have personally seen my friend go through this over the past couple of years with payment and access to his child, the mind games the vicious comments “Daddy don’t love you”. My friend is struggling financially with payments, when his ex is flaunting it in his face with stuff like “I use it to pay off my holiday” or it’s my “Car finance payments”.!
I would personally like to see a change for people who are in this situation, even if it’s paid to the receiving parents in a voucher where the father knows it’s going on the child, where it’s can be used for food,clothes and other stuff a child needs, not on holiday,alcohol and vapes.!
SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE !
When it comes financially beneficial to stop fathers seeing their children we have huge problems. Mothers then feed them lies and untruths to turn the children against the fathers to keep up the pretence.
Right it's so sad I know people who do just that. I don't understand why you would traumatise your own child to get some kind of revenge on the father. It's disgusting IMO and those women need to grow tf up.
Women who do brainwash their kids for this reason should be done for child abuse
Absolute brilliant podcast James & Noel, its difficult finding information with regards to people fighting the CMS, this has put me in touch with Noel and I hope to share information with him. I recently have been targetted by CMS for inflated wages and arrears that appeared from nowhere. I'll be sharing my dealings with them since October soon, the CMS is a run away entity with no checks and balances and thats got to stop.
I haven’t seen my kids in two years - I was living in Asia for 12 years and had two children, unfortunately when covid hit I lost my businesses and pretty much everything we had.
I had to come back to the uk and start again.
I send half of my wage now to my children’s mum every month.
Even though I can’t see my kids at least I know they don’t need for anything.
I know it’s not quite the same but I think you should pay your way if you see your kids or not.
It’s not their fault so they shouldn’t go without.
They will get older, and you will see them, and they will then realise what you did for them.
And you can hold your head high until that day.
This is a very different private arrangement that you have made to what is going on here.
Glad that James the host asked great questions about if there’s anything good that can happen from absent parents (male or female) paying for their children.
And that some parents don’t want to pay .
Parents not allowing children to see the other parent without a real concern is vile !
My children’s father was absent and never paid for his children and he never paid child maintenance either.
Removing passports etc is new.
It’s private company now isn’t ? In Ireland my children are in their 20s so it was 20 years ago it wasn’t like that
I was expecting more than a personal experience from this podcast.
(Although I recognise some are in a disgusting unfair situation )
More stats would be great hopefully it’s going in the right direction so it’s made more transparent
I was a victim/ customer of the old CSA they were a shambles I had to get my MP involved for the CSA to stop taking payments as my son was 18 and working full time my ex fraudulent still claimed child benefit so she still got CSA money of me thousands extra , and a few years later she was charge for benefit fraud of 7 grand she got a tag but I never got my 18 months extra payments back over 3 grand stolen off me and if my MP never got involved it would have been a lot more !
I’m currently having to do exactly this :/
🙋♀️ I wish I could attach the lastest correspondence ive had from CMS on here, because you have to see it to believe it... My daughters dad no longer has to contribute to her upbringing as he's now in receipt of DISABILITY benefits for alcoholism. As a single parent, it keeps me awake at night worrying how I'll cope without the £10.74 a MONTH he was paying. Not a typo TEN POUNDS.
She's 11 years old. Spent every-other-weekend with him up until 8 months ago when she was safeguarded because of his drinking.
Then there are dads on here, not seeing their children paying much more than £10 per month!
It's ludicrous. Thank you for raising much needed awareness to this corruption 🙏
I had no idea they could add fees like that. That's crazy. They should not be able to do that at all. They should only be there to facilitate making sure what is supposed to be paid gets paid and no more. No wonder they are not supporting the family unit in this society.
They make money out of it mate. They want non compliance to slap fines on the paying parent
@scouser8638 Yeah I see it. It's well shady. Didn't know before but it definitely ain't right!!!
The minute you attempt to speak to them and show the hard evidence they ignore you and refuse to adjust payments. This results in massive arrears that then get calculated every year into their schedule
Brilliant interview, the corruption in this country spreads right through everything and everywhere and its us normal people that suffer for it, criminal
Well none of this is true in my case!! I've gone 6 years with a child maintenance case and not received any money from the non resident parent!! I can't seem to get anywhere and they don't seem to be doing anything about it. Literally no punishment at all for the non compliancy and my children have to go without and we struggle because the "father" and I use that term loosely doesn't want to support his children
There are equally as many cases where men are not recieving any child maintenance from the mum
But i dont know of any case where the mum is paying yet the dad wont let the mum see the childb
My child’s mother was recently contacted by csa even though we as parents stopped using them a couple of years ago; we have our own arrangement so there is no need for them to contact us , they sent my ex a letter stating that another government agency had informed them that she wished to change our child’s name from mine to hers. They advised that they would go through with the name change unless she contacted them. My ex had never had any reason to do this and was confused as to where this came from.
Speaking as a parent where the CSA did not even do their job to collect any money. I was doing three jobs to provide for my children. Because I was working and not on benefits, they did not want to bother. Not all mothers are like the experience of the guys here.
I wanted their dad to see their children. The only time I got any money was when he was on benefits. I got £10 a week for three children as they took it from his benefits
I had a very very similar experience. They were supposed to be collecting from him. I’d get letters all the time saying how much he should be paying, supposed to be paid to them, then to me. Again, the only time I received money was when he was on benefits and as he had other kids to 3 other mums, I’d only get £3 a week for him. They never passed me any money. I did get a letter a couple of years ago saying he owed me thousands in back pay and did I want to bother pursuing it. What was the point?? The whole system is a waste of money
Brilliant listen this is hats off to james and Neil top gents
Sadly the worlds a scary place. Rich richer, poor poorer. This world is not a place I long to be forever. It’s sad. Makes you want to go off grid and live in your own ‘world’.
Fantastic interview by both
👍🏼
i was caught in the trap of the CSA, i believed that they were there for the children. If your'e in the CSA system make sure you pay the other parent for 6 months through them and then after you can go to paying through the other parent. They don't tell you this but after 6 months of paying through them you can then pay straight to the other parent. They're just a law onto themselves and the longer your'e trapped within it the more damage they cause. I had a independent case examiner and my local MP fight and eventually i won my case but i was not paid back any of the money that they had over charged me.
So I’ve been paying through CMS for years, paying all these so called collection fee’s! I’m allowed to pay directly into my ex’s hence not paying these collection fee’s?
Nobody from the CMS has ever mentioned this to me!
I'm dealing with cms ex wife restricting access to kids so have to pay her more and if you don't pay they take it out your bank I've been threatened with revoking my driveing licence and my passport all because I didn't have the money to pay but need my licence to work and not be on dole and also to drive to see my kids a terrible system that's needs a total revamp
They can’t do jack ! They do take your money ( only if money is there) move the money !! Move assets . Be self employed! Own a ltd company
I never got a penny for my children. The so called child maintenance as failed thousands of parents over many years.
The ex was only order to pay £6 per week and has found ways to Dodge it, whilst telling his family and friends that he pays lots of money. Child maintenance is supposed to be for those sort of “fathers” you purposely don’t want to contribute to the children.
It goes from one extreme in this thread to the other. Same here. He’s not interested and thousands of arrears. And I let it go 4yrs before applying. Extremely sporadic so I don’t hold my breath. Did it all with my eldest too and they graduated this year. Proud mum. I’m not a good picker, so I stopped.
You know u can get UC and family allowance right to help ?
@@MrTangolizard Obviously. We’re talking about the father’s non help.
@@nicolacox4063 the person posting the message said they never got a penny for there children which is either untrue as there are plenty of benefits available to help people with children or they didn’t know about the available help it’s quite interesting that I had my kids near enough 50% of the time and I got nothing yet my x got to get loads of help plus I had to pay her each month as well
The system only go for working people ...I agree with paying your way if u can't pay at least spend time with ur child when possible .... people do use the csa system out of bitterness which is wrong for working class people . Ppl on benifits will never be pressured to pay it bk .
How is this allowed to happen 😢 its tragic that these people are driven to taking their lives, the government has a lot to answer for!!
I wish someone like james english would sit down with me and hear my story of the c.m.s im sure he would be amazed at what happened and is happening to me
What matters most is how well you move through the fire. Keep your shape, don’t let your emotions overcome your intelligence. It’s a tough journey just remember everything is temporary. Good luck 🤜🏽🤛🏽
@@CharlieSuitc8se im not one to admit things but the system is bringing ne to my knees emotionally and financially with amounts that are wrong and no one to help they just take take take and do not listen
I can see why some men just end it all
That’s what the system wants like I said everything is temporary. All that matters is now we can only work with the now, don’t let them turn you into a statistic.
Cost me my job of 26 yrs. I had a stroke. Lost half my sight. Ended up with nothing.
They took the money this way, and the council ended up paying my rent. Absolute Utter stupidly.
Great interview. Highlighted some interesting thoughts concerning family values, and the lack of support.
Lets not pretend theres isn’t parents out there that don’t take responsibly of their children’s upbringing, it takes 2 to make a baby. What about the parents that have held everything together for the kids after the other parent has left, cheated & thought the grass was greener after building a life together. what if that parent doesn’t feel they needs to contribute to their children’s upbringing once they’ve left but the other parent would never stop contact with between them & their kids, no matter if they contribute or not. That other parent still need to pay for the roof over their children’s heads, feed them, cloth them, pay for childcare to work, they don’t just pay 12% or 16% out of their ways, they work & give 100% & go without just so their children are happy & comfortable & yeah they struggle massively, financially, emotionally & mentally but they still step up every day! We wouldn’t need a “CSA” if both parents cared for & provided their children like they deserve!!
Absolutely agree ! My boys were planned and I put him on the birth certificate. He walks then messes me about fiancially then finally pays buttons then walks out on his job and moonlight on taxis on the fiddle. He didn't want to bring him up but like you say it takes two ! There's many times I've done without and that includes eating. It's a disgrace. We win though because we have the right values and morals... we'll have our day !
Amen to this!! these whiny parents that keep complaining they have to pay for the children they have made is an absolute joke! The no contact for no reason excuses is BS.... go see a solicitor, judges will allow rapists and murders to see their children!! EXCUSES all day long.
@@clarab1646😂😂£36k i out in solicitor fees to regain access to my beautiful little girl. Why did I have to pay that? Because I was alienated to maximise CMS and cause emotional pain upon me by a vile narcissistic woman! Don’t preach that men don’t want their babies. Appalling!
@ 52 mins.. My response is that the CMS SHOULD NOT STOP just because a couple agree to make direct payments and I'm living proof of this! The adsent parent chooses to pay then whoopsie they forget, then another whoopsie I didn't get paid, then another whoopsie we've argued so you don't deserve the faithful commitment of financial support.. The list could and does go on and on!
A paying parent SHOULD be THANKFUL that the CMS still remind them, because it's a reminder that THEIR child is needs a responsible and reliant parent!
Some men think its a mother who should do everything and they only need to show face..no assistance with the childs upbringing..so if they pay an amount to the mother that is there parenting done
Plenty of men feel the opposite - what then ?
I was married and my relationship with my husband broke down, he left got with somebody else moved to Cornwall and had 2 more children. Getting him to pay has been a constant battle and over the last year he has paid hardly anything. He never sees the children, the last time he saw them I took them to Cornwall and dropped them to him. They are now teenagers and I am going to CSA next week and getting them to collect money from his account! I have tried to avoid doing this but my children deserve the extra money! Some Dads are just trying to get away with doing nothing, paying nothing! Some Mothers will do the right thing and sacrifice their own career, relationships etc to bring up their children on their own properly without any help !
Hope you fail at theiving someone's wealth. If you were a good person I'm sure divorce would never happen
Alright @FearNonButAllah , did your mother never teach you 'if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all'
@@E-Gray csa is theft. A child doesn't need 20% of someones income. It should be means tested and sufficient to cover children's needs not a blanket 20%. It is unfair and a system which is abused by many parents mostly single mothers and it encourages families to fight because the less days dad has the children then the more money mother gets. It's all a total sham and the government ignores it all the time. Csa replaced another failed child maintenance system and this is yet another scam again. There are countless fathers who are committing suicide due to cms pressure alone do u think I should just stay quiet. Of course I will speak up a voice for the voiceless. Men are 4 times more likely to commit suicide then women I wonder if you knew this statistics. Do u think its fair? That's many children who won't have a father anymore. Do you like to not have a father growing up? Cms do not follow the laws and they abuse fathers and demand strange sums of money and are not reasonable and they don't even answer phone calls it's utterly disgusting system. If a parent can't come to an agreement then cms is not the answer. If these single mums stopped being emotional wrecks and started listening to good reason and judgement then all the issues would dissappear but they have a control trip they want to control men or their ex husbands. Look at the way this woman is speaking oh my ex husband left me and got remarried and had other kids. Why doesn't she speak about what car he drives too. None of this is her business. Why doesn't she concentrate on just her kids. She's concentrating on this man and what he is upto do you understand. Her intentions are not the children clearly demonstrated in her speech. Same as all these other single mums just sour and resentful and revengeful
Parasite. Get a job
Great interview guys. So much more to come from this story.