Sounds like you are awfully hard on yourself Max. It would be lovely if you were as kind too yourself as your friends are to you, or you are to your friends. Onwards and upwards!
It's easy for us to forger that people are not mind readers, and they don't always interpret what we say in the way we intended. It's not always easy to go back & explain..
Life has taught me that relationships seldom fail solely because of the actions of one person. In essence we make friends and are lucky to fall in love at times throughout our lifes, but nothing is certain, and sometimes not forever, we just need to remain thankful for the opportunities of knowing love and savoring those memories. I am a little (may be a lot) older than you and met someone new 12 months ago after being single for nearly 10 years. He proposed last week, what I am badly trying to say is being alive and living a full life for me means never stopping being open to possibilities or closing down and always taking advantages of what's thrown our way. Never say never ...although I realise it may not feel like that right now x x
I don’t think there is an easy way for any of us to fix this, make you feel better, make you feel less pain. However, hopefully you can take some comfort in knowing that there is people who are here for you, supporting you and championing you. I hope things get easier for you
Haven't watched you for 3 years after continuously doing so before then. This and your Antidepressant vid helped helped me out right now. Cheers mate. I'll watch the rest of the missed 3 years worth of vids soon.
Wish you lived near me in Exeter , I would love you as a counsellor ...not because of qualifications (or likely lack of ) but I see your humanity, openess, authenticity, gentleness and vulnerability which puts me at ease and your company would no doubt be very therapeutic . I have spent my entire adult life ( now 58 ) trying to find peace of mind and purpose without success despite so many opportunities and much privilege . Having a good friend would have made such a difference but everyone jumped ship when depression arrived 30 yrs ago . Alcohol kept me going ..made life worth living until 6 yrs ago when the end was near. Sober 6 yrs now ..and despite lucky to have a loving partner ..the hole inside where something is missing (and always has) just keeps my subjective experience of life as being a constant struggle. I'm sure you won't read this Maximus but thank you for sharing and helping many others ..you can see by the comments how many folk sense what a good man you are . As the old Buddhist saying goes " May you be well , May you be happy , May you be free from suffering and at peace with yourself and all others" . Big Man Hug from Devon , Bill x
“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.” That is advice from Shakespeare... and I think he was on to something. Onwards and upwards and I hope, you will, on occasion, take us along for the ride. :) Be well, Max.
“I’m going to be okay. I’m going to make things - some interesting things. And have some interesting adventures. And i’m going to film them. And you guys can watch them. So there’re good things to look forward to.” That’s the right spirit Max! Some of us who are (happily) tied down in relationships don’t always get the time to make things and have the adventures that we did when we were single. I get immense pleasure and inspiration from watching you make things and having the adventures that I can’t. Please keep it up! And I hope that you find all the happiness/relationships and companionship that you deserve.
We live in a world where we are encouraged to have 'fault' or 'blame'. Stuff happens and in relationships, stuff happens to two people. That process of ruminating is very destructive and your process of breaking the cycle is wonderful advice.
At a time like this your friends -online and off- want to “Hoover” your pain away but there is no way to do that. Certainly not in a UA-cam comment. I hope videos like this are as therapeutic as they are courageous.
I've been with my wife 30 years (im 50 now) i say things on a daily basis than can be interpreted by her / others the wrong way , but most of the time she gets my true intensions in what i implying through my actions.
It's all been said, but I'd just like to let you know how important are your videos and also those from some other posters to people like me. After several failed attachments when I was a young man, I finally found someone who would tolerate me and we have now been together for nearly fifty years. Sadly, my wife is now in poor health and virtually housebound. Caring for her means that I am also tied pretty much to the house and cannot pursue the many hobbies I enjoyed. I would have loved to have restored a Series IIA Land Rover, but that is never going to happen, so your videos give me a great deal of vicarious pleasure. I cannot go out to see friends as I used to, so watching you and listening to your experiences is a connection I much appreciate. Thank you: just thank you.
Hey Max....I'm a collector of your things. My collection started with an excellent knife that was gifted to me and has lately extended to your shared words, honesty and wisdom; the latter are by far the most precious and valuable and I thank you sincerely for them.
1 Peter 5:7. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. As a Christian this Bible verse has comforted me many times. Obviously it’s talking about the value of letting go of our anxieties to God, but I think best friends work too ! And think you articulated the value of not dwelling and ruminating on our grief and sorrow but speaking about it with others. All the very best mate. God bless. Steve. Ps, love your vids and since watching them a few years ago I’ve found a love of tinkering with cars and motorcycles that I might not have discovered otherwise ❤😊
'I thought there'd be more time; but there wasn't'. If that isn't the ultimate lesson for us all in life, then I don't know what is. Thank you so much for your time and your selflessness. Truly inspiring.
One of the hardest lessons in life IS LETTING GO. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayal. CHANGE is never easy. We fight to hold on and fight to let go.
It happened to me 10 years ago. She broke of the relationship. I was heart broken, trying to understand why, trying to reason. I was in a bad way for a long time, depressed and lonely. But then then I realized, that one should always practice self love and forgeiveness first and then if you have love left then sure give it to someone you care for. But dont ever compromise on your self over that other. You come first. If you can not be your self in a relationship and you constantly feel compelled to please that other then the relationship is doomed. because it is not a mutually beneficial relationship. learn to see the signs. Unfortunately, most of us learn the hard way, that important lesson in life. When you are infatuated with that other it can be difficult to see clearly.
Thanks for this Max, you really bare your soul to us. I lost my wife to cancer this year, sometimes relationships end through no fault of either party. I found strength in your honesty, as I find strength through the family and friends who are helping me to navigate this grief. Stay strong brother.
"Manning up" is one of the most destructive ideas we get taught... and teach to others... as men. It's absolute bollocks. I refer to it as deliberately blocking a safety valve and letting the pressure (bad emotions, sadness, anger, pain, etc.) build up. And the results are as destructive as with air pressure... I'm glad you talked to your friends. Cheers to friends!
I'm glad that you took your own advice (it's good advice, usually is) and were able to talk to your friends. Getting it out and having another listen is very powerful and therapeutic. Yay to building interesting things and having adventures 👍!
How beautiful that you bare your soul and pain to the world in this way. These things are never easy and we all feel for you. It’s actually inspiring hearing you talk openly and so eloquently. Our greatest mistake is that we all think we’ve got more time ❤
Thank you for sharing this in a vulnerable way. It is hard to do. I know from experience that it is a process. Painful at times and slower than we wish it to be. We'll wishes and good thoughts going out to you.
Another hurdle thrown under your legs as life speeds ever forward. Time in the brown armchair is doing you good if only helping you assemble the thoughts and emotions to convey. The many comments below are a comfort I’m sure. I think you know your own strengths and weaknesses Max, lean on the friendships that can take it and keep moving forward. But when the hurdle wins, it don’t hurt looking up at the sky while rubbing your shins. Keep healthy Max, best of luck for the weeks ahead. Mat
What a guy! A monk said, send compassion to whatever you're feeling: to your sadness, anger or fear, anxiety, self-blame or regret: have compassion for all of them. For some of us, learning to be a friend to ourselves is a life-long work. Thanks for sharing, Max.
This really resonated with me. I went through something similar in October. A two year relationship ended. Its easy to blame yourself but it's a two way street. We love you Max
Really good advice to share your troubles! A problem shared is a problem halved! As they say. Also another great thing to do is to write like a diary or journal. This also stops things going round and round in your head and gets them out onto the page and is pretty good way to start to make sense of things. Wishing you a Merry Christmas.
Never commented before anywhere, but wanted to say how much i enjoy the videos and how its a privilage having watched you share your heart. Once step at a time Max.
First time commenting here. Very frank and brave to disclose your feelings in such a way. Currently going through much of the same myself. As mammals apparently we get an important seratonine release when we connect with other mammals. And then there is also adrenaline, dont even get me started on what that can do! Anyhow, from one mammal to another I just wanted to send a vertical wave and say hi. Wishing you luck
Well done for being so open, to many men can't do that, which is such a shame because us women would love it if you did, have fun making a new life and love will find you when your not looking. Xxxxx
Hi Max, first comment on YT ever. I concur with the others, brave, honest, brilliantly eloquent. Please check out the chimp paradox book, look into the myers-briggs personality types. So much of what you have said resonates with me. I found out about an introverted personality after fifty years of struggle. A bit of research and LOADS made sense. There are reasons for feeling like this; your not to blame. It's a struggle sometimes and society isn't set up for introverts, but it's why you are also quite brilliant. Shine your own light your way Max. That video, and all the others, makes the pain worthwhile, you've helped a lot of people.
The appropriate level of sad. Amen to that, it is right to feel sad and to reflect. Thank you for sharing this and the previous sit-down video. Different But still a compelling watch. Take care fella.
Thanks for sharing Max, have a man hug. British telecom came up with a wonderful slogan quite a few years ago, certainly before mens mental health issues came to be acknowledged and recognised. "It's good to talk"
You are a great counterexample to the hollywood "macho" fad. All humans are emotional, not just women. And depriving yourself of the therapy of letting the tears roll down your cheek does not make you more of a man than someone who doesn't. Great video my friend, and keep being awesome.
Good on you for publicly speaking about this, its important for men in general to talk about things rather than bottle them up inside. At the end of the day as long as you learn from your mistakes and strive to grow as a person you will end up alright, all the best for the future.
I know I might sound "cliché" but, as sad as it is to see a relationship ends, it might have helped you grow and helped you learn new things that you will be able to apply in your next one. Never think that the relationship as ended only because of you.. Most of the time it is because of both partners... You shouldn't have to think things like " oh I should/shouldn't have said/done this or that" (unless you really wanted to hurt her/him) whatever you said at that moment, it is who you are, and if your partner fails to understand the meaning of what you were saying, and never asked any questions, it is on him/her too. You can't change who you really are, and whoever you are ,you are worth it . If someone leaves you, it is not because you are not good enough .. you have just grown apart, and now have different interests/points of view.. In this case, Max, from what I can see in the videos, you look like one heck of a good lad with a great attitude, a simple way of life, and a lot to give.. I'm not even worried for you, you will find somebody new in no time ;) . Cheers buddy!
I'm truly impressed by the way you're able to share this bravely and with your heart. My man watches you, and I can't help but engage when youre on . I may be a bit of an oldie (ahem 53, ) but think you're not only jolly good with your hands but really rather scrummy. Have faith, keep positive, life appears to carry on , and we could join in when feeling like engaging. Take care. Xx
Second video of yours I've watched, first being the drawknife. I'm very new to forging and have enjoyed Black Bear, Christ Centered and a few others. So glad I came across yours my friend. I'm a now 65 year old of blue hued collar, 33 years, by God's grace, sober. On completion of the drawknife you apologetically explained having never made use of one... You had me completely won over with that humble note of honesty. I went to your videos and my eyes were drawn to this. I'm subject to periods of melancholy, since it sounds so much mire sophisticated than being depressed 🥴 and really appreciated the candor with which you shared these things to us. I thank you for you willingness to share beyond the forge and anvil as we are all, unless gravely ill, effected by these things of the heart. So glad you sought out friends and family as they and many of us out here find 'en-couragement' by you example. Hanging tough in its truest measure means dealing with a circumstance in manner which would promote the best available solution and not simply folding inward. Also, love you manner of speech and the way your words come together in a way that the American vernaculars, except perhaps those more southerly, have lost. Thanks bro, hang tough. You are in our prayers. -Scott Bon, Air Virginia
So long as we are talking about feelings, I felt the need to express how much I appreciate you and your channel. You have definitely been an inspiration for me. I have followed you for several years now. My wife, my two kids and I live in a small off grid cabin in the hinterlands of California. You have given me tons of great ideas to tackle living this kind of lifestyle. Also, as a fellow metal worker and blacksmith, I really enjoy watching your projects, the successes and stumbles. Everyone has ups and downs, that's life. We have had our own rollercoaster of highs and lows. But I wouldn't change any of it. The bad times make you appreciate the good. Hang in there. You are a super cool dude as far as I am concerned. And I look forward to all the future amazing adventures. Cheers!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you Max, and you are excellent at communicating. In terms that I think you will appreciate, sometimes Whitworth and metric threads don't match, however hard you force them, neither is at fault, wrong or to blame. Always happy to indulge your wisdom.
Max this could really help someone, thank you. As a natural introvert myself I spent far too long keeping everything to myself. It wasn't until I'd wasted far too many years that I actually started talking to other men about any troubles that I had. My surprise at how receptive my man friends were to listening, comforting and then often sharing troubles they've been keeping bottled up. As for you're beating yourself up about relationships. You're not perfect mate, and neither were they. Don't beat yourself up. Over analysing yourself is a painful side effect of your intelligence, very common. Shit sometimes just happens. Take comfort where you can find it and remember that you're just a human. Best wishes to you mate .
At the rime I'm watching your video, I hope you've spent The Season with friends and in good company. I look forward to your next project. Here's to a Good New Year to you Max. All The Best Wishes. See you soon.
I'm only just coming to terms with a relationship I lost 2007, we found each other 1991, Married 1993, and a wonderful daughter 1995, from day one I knew she was my soul mate. Despite 10 years passing I often thought of her and we started to speak again from 2017 and yes I still hold a candle for her i would never tell her, but I now use that Passion for life to help others I see going through bad times. This is the first time I've ever put this into words as I still suffer
It's funny... to you, we are all strangers, but to us, you are like a mate. We all tune in and share in your highs, and lows. Sorry you had a tough time, although the right person wouldn't have walked, so in a way it's best that she did. Any time you wanna come up to my woodland and build something or mend a tractor whilst drinking beer, you're always welcome! :) Chin up Max.
Much as I love your daft projects and practical guides, these 'sitting down and talking' videos are honestly the most powerful. More power to you Max! I'm looking forward to these making and adventuring vids too.
A relationship ending is like constipation. Until you can get everything outside of you there will always be pain and a focus on what remains inside. Sharing with friends is a good laxative. I think as well, as we get older we need to question more why we need to be in a relationship at all. The older we get the more settled we are in our skin. For me, the thought of being in a relationship now has no appeal whatsoever and its funny, when I admitted that to myself a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and life began to open up and I actually became happy for the first time in years and years. I do believe the world is changing as far as relationships are concerned due to many factors but the old needs, the old expectations of what a successful good life means are changing and many it seems are realizing they are much happier not having to share life with another person intimately or cohabiting. It is great if that still feels like the way you want to go but to do it simply to fit in or that it is the only way to have happiness and fulfilment without questioning it or deeply examining what brings you real joy can be a risky road to take. good luck and be gentle with yourself and above all, be honest with what you want to create a happy and fulfilled life .
Must have been very hard to make this video. Massive respect to you for sharing. Absolutely love your videos, please keep making them. Take care of yourself and remember we're all here for you. All the best
Thank you max for your honesty. It is good to hear a practical, down to earth man talk about these things. This is a little bit of the story towards taking the stigma out of men talking about our challenges. I am sure many of us are guilty of bottling things up when we should’ve sharing.
Love to hear you talking about that. The mental health is a stigma for may people and can if you hold it back and not seek help create very bad situations for you and the beloved around.. I have been depressed due to massive workload and was so ill that had to be home for a year to find the meaning of life again. It was a struggle but it worked out in the end and my company that I was employed at took the responsibility and helped me to get better. But it's different around the world and here in Sweden company's have a huge responsibility for their workforce and for me that was good... Still on some SSRI drugs but I'm feeling that I have control over my work situation. I have moved out to the country and start to grow my food and have chickens for fresh eggs and so on. You have shown me that it is possible to be a stronger human if you acknowledged your weakness.. Thanks for your open display of your struggle through life and the pros and cons of everything. You are a true hero....
Hard times when there's a break-up. Been there myself several times. One time I was angry at the way I was treated. One time it felt like a release and I was ecstatic. One time I was sad about it and 20 years later I still am a bit. But it was all for the best. It's good to reflect a bit and learn from mistakes, but not to dwell on them too much or feel guilty about it. Next time, we will be older and wiser and we will do belter. Thank you for sharing.
You're quite right, Max. It does seem at times that it's very easy to say the wrong thing, or the right thing in the wrong way, or not to say the right thing at all! keep moving forward.
Hi Max! I can see this was a hard one to make. I want to say "well done", but that won't be doing it any justice. The closest I can get is "glowing respect". You are an inspiration, mate!
Sound bloke. Been through the same recently, and also failed to see it coming. Talking is definitely the key. New adventures in life lie ahead fella :)
This was clearly a hard video to record Max, but contains sage advice. It's all too easy to be self critical and to become obsessive in over analysing events with hindsight. Wisdom is born of experience.
From across the pond in Florida...I still have the pairing knife that you made for me! I too have had the same situation/feelings as you. You are a bit hard on yourself, but that's because as men we are never taught the softer female side of feelings....quite a shame in fact! But life is a journey lesson and father time is the great healer! You too will come out of this in a better way! God bless and stand tall
An 'appropriate level of sadness', is for me the key phrase you used. I have, on a few occasions gone down a frightening hole over relationships that were still born or failed to grow. Later I wondered what on earth had happened to me. I think for me it's always a case, as I say to myself, of going from 'zero to hero', way too quickly, then fleeing or getting in way too deep, too fast. At any rate the circular thinking can very quickly lead me into a downward spiral, oft checked by friend's help and practical concerns. I would guess that you are not dissimilar in nature. Perhaps we can never become the wild things that we'd like to have been but if we go at our own slow pace and ask others to respect that, make clear our weaknesses and articulate our feelings openly then we can avoid hurting others and keep our ship on course through life's stormy weather.
The very fact that you blame yourself (probably too much) is a sign of your intellectual honesty if nothing else. Most people play the victim and completely blame the other party.
Amateur blacksmith here (And professional social worker/Counsellor). You did the right thing, lean on your friends a bit, you might have more caring people around you than might seem obvious at first.
This man really resonates with me , life is hard and for some people it can be really difficult but self awareness and learning to deal with your own mental health can bring you a long way. This has been the case for me. I admire his honesty and bravery sharing this with us.
Don't beat yourself up to much Max you've to remember that it takes two to Tango.... Your right to be thinking of future projects and the filming of them Max. It's the positivity that'll be the long term healer that you need. I enjoy what you do, you've so much more ambition in your projects than I could ever muster.
I think I've got a few years on you and I spent a lot of my time years ago worrying that I'd said the wrong thing or may have offended someone. I would spend days or weeks feeling embarrassed or with a feeling of guilt, which would be debilitating. Little did I know at the time, that in the main, the other person didn't think anything of it and had moved on. It was just me beating myself up over a non existent issue. These days if this sort of situation arises, which it does for us all from time to time, I make my apologies to the person, if appropriate and try not to dwell on the situation if I can. It works most of the time but obviously not always, which is understandable when you are a sensitive person. I used to look enviously at people that would not appear show any embarrassment or guilt but my viewpoint has changed over the years. I have found that people that are susceptible to embarrassment and guilt, also have more empathy, understanding and compassion. So when we're thinking "me and my big mouth...", it's possibly a good idea to remember these positive traits to our character and not to be too hard on ourselves.
"I always thought there would be more time...", the times I've said that, looking back. It's a funny thing life. I do like the way you just talk in a straight forward manner.
I just wanted to send you good vibes. I know it can be hard to open up about our experiences. Loneliness, depression, etc. I appreciate your videos. I've been watching them for years. I have learned from them. I've been inspired by them. I'm just Miles from California but I respect you. I am 30 years old and we have lived our own lives... When i watch your videos can relate to your personality and experiences. We try to do the best we can with what we've got. We have traveled the world, and been to places we will never forget. You've dealt with loneliness and heartache and so have I and many others who watch your videos. Long story short, in the past maybe I've felt lonely and watched one of your videos and been cheered up by them. I may never meet you, but It feels like we have hung out many times. I'm watching and learning as you rebuild the Landy. I was there when you refurbished the old fireplace doors. I almost feel a bit weird saying that. But that's how it feels. If you weren't someone I would want to hang around with in person. I would not watch your videos. I know I wrote an article for you but keep your head up and keep up with the videos.
Well said Max, sound advice, often the hardest person to forgive is ourselves. The fact you made this video, means with 117K subs, you have probably already changed the path of some peoples lives for the better by encouraging them to talk about their troubles. Good on yer man.
I was in a long distance relationship for probably a couple of years , COVID did get in the way but it didn't work out in the end . I think I'm a difficult person to live with, especially after two failed marriages, I still yearn for that companionship, I'm nearly 58 years old and yes I want to be loved and have that special lady to love but what will be will be . U must not blame yourself so much , as the old saying goas, it takes two to tango . You are an inspiration and I would love to live your life style of grid. Stay safe mate 👍🇬🇧👍🇬🇧
Thank you for your videos and honesty, we are similar souls I think, I’ve suffered from depression since childhood, I’m 57, I too am restoring a 1984 109, i recede into myself in the bad times, and push friends away, and try and push through on my own, but after watching this video, I’m going to take your advice and talk to my friends, try and explain why I’ve been isolated and withdrawn, hopefully that will not only rekindle those friendships, but assist in pulling me out of the doldrums. Thanks again Max, your videos are inspiring, and are also a form of therapy for me. Time for me to try harder.
Treat yourself the way you would treat YOUR best friend. Thank you for sharing your story with us Max, it helps us all learn, because you had the strength to be vunrabal in front of us and yourself. Beautifull, just beautiful. Thank you Max you helped me.
Your last video WAS NOT ‘heavy’....was simply refreshing straight honesty. Every human has a different path,different experiences and different angles on reality. Greatest gift is sharing ones experience and realization in a way that you do. Probably don’t see it yourself and that is not a bad thing,cos then the old ego doesn’t jump aboard and sabotage your discourse. Just keep pushing on and life happens sometimes in spite of oneself,rather than because of us. In my experience every major event,encounter,experience happens out of the blue,unexpected.. no doubt you will continue to grow and hopefully continue to share. Wishing you a Very Happy Christmas. May you experience the true Nature of Christmas. Regards
It's quite a thing for you to share your thoughts and I applaud you for it.
I wish you peace, love, and serenity. You're a good man, Max.
Well said.
May the tears u cry in 2022 water the seeds of your recovery in 2023
Sounds like you are awfully hard on yourself Max. It would be lovely if you were as kind too yourself as your friends are to you, or you are to your friends. Onwards and upwards!
Wonderful video Max !!
It's easy for us to forger that people are not mind readers, and they don't always interpret what we say in the way we intended. It's not always easy to go back & explain..
Takes a real man to speak as you do my friend
Life has taught me that relationships seldom fail solely because of the actions of one person. In essence we make friends and are lucky to fall in love at times throughout our lifes, but nothing is certain, and sometimes not forever, we just need to remain thankful for the opportunities of knowing love and savoring those memories. I am a little (may be a lot) older than you and met someone new 12 months ago after being single for nearly 10 years. He proposed last week, what I am badly trying to say is being alive and living a full life for me means never stopping being open to possibilities or closing down and always taking advantages of what's thrown our way. Never say never ...although I realise it may not feel like that right now x x
Congratulations Megan! That's great to hear - and thank you.
I don’t think there is an easy way for any of us to fix this, make you feel better, make you feel less pain. However, hopefully you can take some comfort in knowing that there is people who are here for you, supporting you and championing you. I hope things get easier for you
Haven't watched you for 3 years after continuously doing so before then. This and your Antidepressant vid helped helped me out right now. Cheers mate. I'll watch the rest of the missed 3 years worth of vids soon.
Cheers Max. From a friend you'll probably never meet.
Wish you lived near me in Exeter , I would love you as a counsellor ...not because of qualifications (or likely lack of ) but I see your humanity, openess, authenticity, gentleness and vulnerability which puts me at ease and your company would no doubt be very therapeutic . I have spent my entire adult life ( now 58 ) trying to find peace of mind and purpose without success despite so many opportunities and much privilege . Having a good friend would have made such a difference but everyone jumped ship when depression arrived 30 yrs ago . Alcohol kept me going ..made life worth living until 6 yrs ago when the end was near. Sober 6 yrs now ..and despite lucky to have a loving partner ..the hole inside where something is missing (and always has) just keeps my subjective experience of life as being a constant struggle.
I'm sure you won't read this Maximus but thank you for sharing and helping many others ..you can see by the comments how many folk sense what a good man you are . As the old Buddhist saying goes
" May you be well , May you be happy , May you be free from suffering and at peace with yourself and all others" . Big Man Hug from Devon , Bill x
“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.” That is advice from Shakespeare... and I think he was on to something. Onwards and upwards and I hope, you will, on occasion, take us along for the ride. :) Be well, Max.
What a great quote - thank you for that.
“I’m going to be okay. I’m going to make things - some interesting things. And have some interesting adventures. And i’m going to film them. And you guys can watch them. So there’re good things to look forward to.” That’s the right spirit Max! Some of us who are (happily) tied down in relationships don’t always get the time to make things and have the adventures that we did when we were single. I get immense pleasure and inspiration from watching you make things and having the adventures that I can’t. Please keep it up! And I hope that you find all the happiness/relationships and companionship that you deserve.
We live in a world where we are encouraged to have 'fault' or 'blame'. Stuff happens and in relationships, stuff happens to two people. That process of ruminating is very destructive and your process of breaking the cycle is wonderful advice.
At a time like this your friends -online and off- want to “Hoover” your pain away but there is no way to do that. Certainly not in a UA-cam comment.
I hope videos like this are as therapeutic as they are courageous.
That took guts man, seriously. Thank you.
None of us are experts at life, we're always learning. Your attitude is inspirational.
My friend helped me yrs ago with “It’s a life lesson, not a life sentence! “
I've been with my wife 30 years (im 50 now) i say things on a daily basis than can be interpreted by her / others the wrong way , but most of the time she gets my true intensions in what i implying through my actions.
It's all been said, but I'd just like to let you know how important are your videos and also those from some other posters to people like me. After several failed attachments when I was a young man, I finally found someone who would tolerate me and we have now been together for nearly fifty years. Sadly, my wife is now in poor health and virtually housebound. Caring for her means that I am also tied pretty much to the house and cannot pursue the many hobbies I enjoyed. I would have loved to have restored a Series IIA Land Rover, but that is never going to happen, so your videos give me a great deal of vicarious pleasure. I cannot go out to see friends as I used to, so watching you and listening to your experiences is a connection I much appreciate. Thank you: just thank you.
its all part of the journey. You are doing great. Thanks for sharing under the surface
Hey Max....I'm a collector of your things. My collection started with an excellent knife that was gifted to me and has lately extended to your shared words, honesty and wisdom; the latter are by far the most precious and valuable and I thank you sincerely for them.
1 Peter 5:7. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
As a Christian this Bible verse has comforted me many times. Obviously it’s talking about the value of letting go of our anxieties to God, but I think best friends work too ! And think you articulated the value of not dwelling and ruminating on our grief and sorrow but speaking about it with others. All the very best mate. God bless. Steve. Ps, love your vids and since watching them a few years ago I’ve found a love of tinkering with cars and motorcycles that I might not have discovered otherwise ❤😊
been watching your vids on / off for years...you seem like a really nice person, hope you find your soul mate..without too longer wait mate
'I thought there'd be more time; but there wasn't'. If that isn't the ultimate lesson for us all in life, then I don't know what is. Thank you so much for your time and your selflessness. Truly inspiring.
One of the hardest lessons in life IS LETTING GO. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayal. CHANGE is never easy. We fight to hold on and fight to let go.
It happened to me 10 years ago. She broke of the relationship. I was heart broken, trying to understand why, trying to reason. I was in a bad way for a long time, depressed and lonely. But then then I realized, that one should always practice self love and forgeiveness first and then if you have love left then sure give it to someone you care for.
But dont ever compromise on your self over that other. You come first.
If you can not be your self in a relationship and you constantly feel compelled to please that other then the relationship is doomed. because it is not a mutually beneficial relationship.
learn to see the signs. Unfortunately, most of us learn the hard way, that important lesson in life. When you are infatuated with that other it can be difficult to see clearly.
@ Leigh Pierce, very sage words and so very true.
Thanks for this Max, you really bare your soul to us. I lost my wife to cancer this year, sometimes relationships end through no fault of either party. I found strength in your honesty, as I find strength through the family and friends who are helping me to navigate this grief. Stay strong brother.
Sorry to read of your great loss. Stay strong and stay well.
@@Themrjakecollins thank you
So sorry for your loss. I was widowed suddenly Dec 2021. Sending you love and strength 😢❣️
@@sprogella so sorry to hear that, and thank you ❤
I'm sorry for your loss.
"Manning up" is one of the most destructive ideas we get taught... and teach to others... as men. It's absolute bollocks. I refer to it as deliberately blocking a safety valve and letting the pressure (bad emotions, sadness, anger, pain, etc.) build up. And the results are as destructive as with air pressure...
I'm glad you talked to your friends. Cheers to friends!
I'm glad that you took your own advice (it's good advice, usually is) and were able to talk to your friends. Getting it out and having another listen is very powerful and therapeutic.
Yay to building interesting things and having adventures 👍!
How beautiful that you bare your soul and pain to the world in this way. These things are never easy and we all feel for you. It’s actually inspiring hearing you talk openly and so eloquently. Our greatest mistake is that we all think we’ve got more time ❤
Thank you for sharing this in a vulnerable way. It is hard to do. I know from experience that it is a process. Painful at times and slower than we wish it to be. We'll wishes and good thoughts going out to you.
Another hurdle thrown under your legs as life speeds ever forward. Time in the brown armchair is doing you good if only helping you assemble the thoughts and emotions to convey. The many comments below are a comfort I’m sure. I think you know your own strengths and weaknesses Max, lean on the friendships that can take it and keep moving forward. But when the hurdle wins, it don’t hurt looking up at the sky while rubbing your shins. Keep healthy Max, best of luck for the weeks ahead. Mat
What a guy!
A monk said, send compassion to whatever you're feeling: to your sadness, anger or fear, anxiety, self-blame or regret: have compassion for all of them.
For some of us, learning to be a friend to ourselves is a life-long work.
Thanks for sharing, Max.
This really resonated with me. I went through something similar in October. A two year relationship ended. Its easy to blame yourself but it's a two way street.
We love you Max
There’s not many people I listen to and take notice of on the UA-cam, but you’re one of the few. Be well Max
Well done mate. Get that Kermit on the road. Your first talk really helped me.
Really good advice to share your troubles! A problem shared is a problem halved! As they say. Also another great thing to do is to write like a diary or journal. This also stops things going round and round in your head and gets them out onto the page and is pretty good way to start to make sense of things. Wishing you a Merry Christmas.
Thank you. I had a similar situation over Christmas. Again, thank you for posting.
Hugs.
If you can still feel like this then you are still alive and thriving.
More hugs.
Never commented before anywhere, but wanted to say how much i enjoy the videos and how its a privilage having watched you share your heart. Once step at a time Max.
First time commenting here. Very frank and brave to disclose your feelings in such a way. Currently going through much of the same myself. As mammals apparently we get an important seratonine release when we connect with other mammals. And then there is also adrenaline, dont even get me started on what that can do! Anyhow, from one mammal to another I just wanted to send a vertical wave and say hi. Wishing you luck
Well done for being so open, to many men can't do that, which is such a shame because us women would love it if you did, have fun making a new life and love will find you when your not looking. Xxxxx
Never been prouder to be a patron, tears in my eyes as I write this xxx
Hi Max, first comment on YT ever. I concur with the others, brave, honest, brilliantly eloquent. Please check out the chimp paradox book, look into the myers-briggs personality types. So much of what you have said resonates with me. I found out about an introverted personality after fifty years of struggle. A bit of research and LOADS made sense. There are reasons for feeling like this; your not to blame. It's a struggle sometimes and society isn't set up for introverts, but it's why you are also quite brilliant. Shine your own light your way Max. That video, and all the others, makes the pain worthwhile, you've helped a lot of people.
The appropriate level of sad. Amen to that, it is right to feel sad and to reflect. Thank you for sharing this and the previous sit-down video. Different But still a compelling watch. Take care fella.
Thanks for sharing Max, have a man hug.
British telecom came up with a wonderful slogan quite a few years ago, certainly before mens mental health issues came to be acknowledged and recognised. "It's good to talk"
You are a great counterexample to the hollywood "macho" fad. All humans are emotional, not just women. And depriving yourself of the therapy of letting the tears roll down your cheek does not make you more of a man than someone who doesn't. Great video my friend, and keep being awesome.
Good on you for publicly speaking about this, its important for men in general to talk about things rather than bottle them up inside. At the end of the day as long as you learn from your mistakes and strive to grow as a person you will end up alright, all the best for the future.
I know I might sound "cliché" but, as sad as it is to see a relationship ends, it might have helped you grow and helped you learn new things that you will be able to apply in your next one. Never think that the relationship as ended only because of you.. Most of the time it is because of both partners... You shouldn't have to think things like " oh I should/shouldn't have said/done this or that" (unless you really wanted to hurt her/him) whatever you said at that moment, it is who you are, and if your partner fails to understand the meaning of what you were saying, and never asked any questions, it is on him/her too. You can't change who you really are, and whoever you are ,you are worth it . If someone leaves you, it is not because you are not good enough .. you have just grown apart, and now have different interests/points of view.. In this case, Max, from what I can see in the videos, you look like one heck of a good lad with a great attitude, a simple way of life, and a lot to give.. I'm not even worried for you, you will find somebody new in no time ;) . Cheers buddy!
Brave video, well done. Keep following your own advice, and be kind to yourself.
I'm truly impressed by the way you're able to share this bravely and with your heart.
My man watches you, and I can't help but engage when youre on .
I may be a bit of an oldie
(ahem 53, ) but think you're not only jolly good with your hands but really rather scrummy.
Have faith, keep positive, life appears to carry on , and we could join in when feeling like engaging.
Take care.
Xx
Second video of yours I've watched, first being the drawknife. I'm very new to forging and have enjoyed Black Bear, Christ Centered and a few others. So glad I came across yours my friend. I'm a now 65 year old of blue hued collar, 33 years, by God's grace, sober. On completion of the drawknife you apologetically explained having never made use of one... You had me completely won over with that humble note of honesty. I went to your videos and my eyes were drawn to this.
I'm subject to periods of melancholy, since it sounds so much mire sophisticated than being depressed 🥴 and really appreciated the candor with which you shared these things to us. I thank you for you willingness to share beyond the forge and anvil as we are all, unless gravely ill, effected by these things of the heart. So glad you sought out friends and family as they and many of us out here find 'en-couragement' by you example. Hanging tough in its truest measure means dealing with a circumstance in manner which would promote the best available solution and not simply folding inward.
Also, love you manner of speech and the way your words come together in a way that the American vernaculars, except perhaps those more southerly, have lost.
Thanks bro, hang tough. You are in our prayers.
-Scott
Bon, Air Virginia
More bravery. Speak its name and take its power. Man to man I am proud for you and I hope you are too. Be well.
So long as we are talking about feelings, I felt the need to express how much I appreciate you and your channel. You have definitely been an inspiration for me. I have followed you for several years now. My wife, my two kids and I live in a small off grid cabin in the hinterlands of California. You have given me tons of great ideas to tackle living this kind of lifestyle. Also, as a fellow metal worker and blacksmith, I really enjoy watching your projects, the successes and stumbles. Everyone has ups and downs, that's life. We have had our own rollercoaster of highs and lows. But I wouldn't change any of it. The bad times make you appreciate the good. Hang in there. You are a super cool dude as far as I am concerned. And I look forward to all the future amazing adventures. Cheers!
Never easy mate, but you never know what's round the corner. Take care of yourself.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you Max, and you are excellent at communicating. In terms that I think you will appreciate, sometimes Whitworth and metric threads don't match, however hard you force them, neither is at fault, wrong or to blame. Always happy to indulge your wisdom.
I'm so sad you have gone through this. You are truly a beautiful and very talented man. I really hope you find someone who is deserving of you.
Max this could really help someone, thank you. As a natural introvert myself I spent far too long keeping everything to myself. It wasn't until I'd wasted far too many years that I actually started talking to other men about any troubles that I had. My surprise at how receptive my man friends were to listening, comforting and then often sharing troubles they've been keeping bottled up. As for you're beating yourself up about relationships. You're not perfect mate, and neither were they. Don't beat yourself up. Over analysing yourself is a painful side effect of your intelligence, very common. Shit sometimes just happens. Take comfort where you can find it and remember that you're just a human. Best wishes to you mate .
At the rime I'm watching your video, I hope you've spent The Season with friends and in good company. I look forward to your next project. Here's to a Good New Year to you Max. All The Best Wishes. See you soon.
I'm only just coming to terms with a relationship I lost 2007, we found each other 1991, Married 1993, and a wonderful daughter 1995, from day one I knew she was my soul mate. Despite 10 years passing I often thought of her and we started to speak again from 2017 and yes I still hold a candle for her i would never tell her, but I now use that Passion for life to help others I see going through bad times. This is the first time I've ever put this into words as I still suffer
It's funny... to you, we are all strangers, but to us, you are like a mate. We all tune in and share in your highs, and lows. Sorry you had a tough time, although the right person wouldn't have walked, so in a way it's best that she did. Any time you wanna come up to my woodland and build something or mend a tractor whilst drinking beer, you're always welcome! :) Chin up Max.
You are a pure heart Max. Sending love and good vibes.
I hope you know how much your videos help and inspire your viewers Max
Much as I love your daft projects and practical guides, these 'sitting down and talking' videos are honestly the most powerful. More power to you Max! I'm looking forward to these making and adventuring vids too.
A relationship ending is like constipation. Until you can get everything outside of you there will always be pain and a focus on what remains inside. Sharing with friends is a good laxative. I think as well, as we get older we need to question more why we need to be in a relationship at all. The older we get the more settled we are in our skin.
For me, the thought of being in a relationship now has no appeal whatsoever and its funny, when I admitted that to myself a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and life began to open up and I actually became happy for the first time in years and years.
I do believe the world is changing as far as relationships are concerned due to many factors but the old needs, the old expectations of what a successful good life means are changing and many it seems are realizing they are much happier not having to share life with another person intimately or cohabiting.
It is great if that still feels like the way you want to go but to do it simply to fit in or that it is the only way to have happiness and fulfilment without questioning it or deeply examining what brings you real joy can be a risky road to take.
good luck and be gentle with yourself and above all, be honest with what you want to create a happy and fulfilled life .
Must have been very hard to make this video. Massive respect to you for sharing. Absolutely love your videos, please keep making them. Take care of yourself and remember we're all here for you. All the best
Those who have the strongest wings, often fly alone. God bless you.
We never forget we just cope and it gets easier over time, time is a great healer.
Thank you max for your honesty. It is good to hear a practical, down to earth man talk about these things. This is a little bit of the story towards taking the stigma out of men talking about our challenges. I am sure many of us are guilty of bottling things up when we should’ve sharing.
Sorry for your pain Max. I see myself in most of the things you say. Thanks for baring all and helping others 🙏
Love to hear you talking about that. The mental health is a stigma for may people and can if you hold it back and not seek help create very bad situations for you and the beloved around.. I have been depressed due to massive workload and was so ill that had to be home for a year to find the meaning of life again. It was a struggle but it worked out in the end and my company that I was employed at took the responsibility and helped me to get better. But it's different around the world and here in Sweden company's have a huge responsibility for their workforce and for me that was good... Still on some SSRI drugs but I'm feeling that I have control over my work situation. I have moved out to the country and start to grow my food and have chickens for fresh eggs and so on. You have shown me that it is possible to be a stronger human if you acknowledged your weakness.. Thanks for your open display of your struggle through life and the pros and cons of everything. You are a true hero....
Hard times when there's a break-up. Been there myself several times. One time I was angry at the way I was treated. One time it felt like a release and I was ecstatic. One time I was sad about it and 20 years later I still am a bit. But it was all for the best. It's good to reflect a bit and learn from mistakes, but not to dwell on them too much or feel guilty about it. Next time, we will be older and wiser and we will do belter. Thank you for sharing.
Bless you Max. They do say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but it doesn't make it any easier. Stay strong
I takes two to Tango, and when the music stops the dance is over.. a nice memory even if some feet got trodden on..
Mark has been a rock for me too.
Sending you a hug chap.
You're quite right, Max. It does seem at times that it's very easy to say the wrong thing, or the right thing in the wrong way, or not to say the right thing at all! keep moving forward.
Hi Max! I can see this was a hard one to make. I want to say "well done", but that won't be doing it any justice. The closest I can get is "glowing respect". You are an inspiration, mate!
Sound bloke. Been through the same recently, and also failed to see it coming. Talking is definitely the key. New adventures in life lie ahead fella :)
This was clearly a hard video to record Max, but contains sage advice. It's all too easy to be self critical and to become obsessive in over analysing events with hindsight. Wisdom is born of experience.
“I’m gonna make things”…..nuff said.
Max I felt that .looking forward to seeing what your going to make
From across the pond in Florida...I still have the pairing knife that you made for me! I too have had the same situation/feelings as you. You are a bit hard on yourself, but that's because as men we are never taught the softer female side of feelings....quite a shame in fact! But life is a journey lesson and father time is the great healer! You too will come out of this in a better way! God bless and stand tall
I'm glad you had good friends to help cushion that fall. Thats what friends are for really.
In many ways this video was like listening to my own story. Thank you for sharing.
An 'appropriate level of sadness', is for me the key phrase you used. I have, on a few occasions gone down a frightening hole over relationships that were still born or failed to grow. Later I wondered what on earth had happened to me.
I think for me it's always a case, as I say to myself, of going from 'zero to hero', way too quickly, then fleeing or getting in way too deep, too fast.
At any rate the circular thinking can very quickly lead me into a downward spiral, oft checked by friend's help and practical concerns. I would guess that you are not dissimilar in nature.
Perhaps we can never become the wild things that we'd like to have been but if we go at our own slow pace and ask others to respect that, make clear our weaknesses and articulate our feelings openly then we can avoid hurting others and keep our ship on course through life's stormy weather.
The very fact that you blame yourself (probably too much) is a sign of your intellectual honesty if nothing else. Most people play the victim and completely blame the other party.
Amateur blacksmith here (And professional social worker/Counsellor). You did the right thing, lean on your friends a bit, you might have more caring people around you than might seem obvious at first.
This man really resonates with me , life is hard and for some people it can be really difficult but self awareness and learning to deal with your own mental health can bring you a long way. This has been the case for me. I admire his honesty and bravery sharing this with us.
Don't beat yourself up to much Max you've to remember that it takes two to Tango.... Your right to be thinking of future projects and the filming of them Max. It's the positivity that'll be the long term healer that you need. I enjoy what you do, you've so much more ambition in your projects than I could ever muster.
I think I've got a few years on you and I spent a lot of my time years ago worrying that I'd said the wrong thing or may have offended someone. I would spend days or weeks feeling embarrassed or with a feeling of guilt, which would be debilitating. Little did I know at the time, that in the main, the other person didn't think anything of it and had moved on. It was just me beating myself up over a non existent issue. These days if this sort of situation arises, which it does for us all from time to time, I make my apologies to the person, if appropriate and try not to dwell on the situation if I can. It works most of the time but obviously not always, which is understandable when you are a sensitive person. I used to look enviously at people that would not appear show any embarrassment or guilt but my viewpoint has changed over the years. I have found that people that are susceptible to embarrassment and guilt, also have more empathy, understanding and compassion. So when we're thinking "me and my big mouth...", it's possibly a good idea to remember these positive traits to our character and not to be too hard on ourselves.
"I always thought there would be more time...", the times I've said that, looking back.
It's a funny thing life.
I do like the way you just talk in a straight forward manner.
The dark night of the soul is well and truly underway Max. Well done for this new breakthrough. sharing a burden with a good friend 👍
I just wanted to send you good vibes.
I know it can be hard to open up about our experiences. Loneliness, depression, etc.
I appreciate your videos. I've been watching them for years. I have learned from them. I've been inspired by them.
I'm just Miles from California but I respect you.
I am 30 years old and we have lived our own lives... When i watch your videos can relate to your personality and experiences.
We try to do the best we can with what we've got. We have traveled the world, and been to places we will never forget.
You've dealt with loneliness and heartache and so have I and many others who watch your videos.
Long story short, in the past maybe I've felt lonely and watched one of your videos and been cheered up by them.
I may never meet you, but It feels like we have hung out many times. I'm watching and learning as you rebuild the Landy.
I was there when you refurbished the old fireplace doors.
I almost feel a bit weird saying that. But that's how it feels. If you weren't someone I would want to hang around with in person.
I would not watch your videos.
I know I wrote an article for you but keep your head up and keep up with the videos.
I wish I could give you a big hug. Thank you for sharing your thoughts again. Much respect x
Well done lad. Keep sharing. You speak complete sense , i get you.
Well said Max, sound advice, often the hardest person to forgive is ourselves. The fact you made this video, means with 117K subs, you have probably already changed the path of some peoples lives for the better by encouraging them to talk about their troubles. Good on yer man.
I was in a long distance relationship for probably a couple of years , COVID did get in the way but it didn't work out in the end . I think I'm a difficult person to live with, especially after two failed marriages, I still yearn for that companionship, I'm nearly 58 years old and yes I want to be loved and have that special lady to love but what will be will be . U must not blame yourself so much , as the old saying goas, it takes two to tango . You are an inspiration and I would love to live your life style of grid. Stay safe mate 👍🇬🇧👍🇬🇧
Thank you for your videos and honesty, we are similar souls I think, I’ve suffered from depression since childhood, I’m 57, I too am restoring a 1984 109, i recede into myself in the bad times, and push friends away, and try and push through on my own, but after watching this video, I’m going to take your advice and talk to my friends, try and explain why I’ve been isolated and withdrawn, hopefully that will not only rekindle those friendships, but assist in pulling me out of the doldrums.
Thanks again Max, your videos are inspiring, and are also a form of therapy for me.
Time for me to try harder.
Treat yourself the way you would treat YOUR best friend. Thank you for sharing your story with us Max, it helps us all learn, because you had the strength to be vunrabal in front of us and yourself. Beautifull, just beautiful. Thank you Max you helped me.
That was some brutal honesty, big lad. Keep doing what you do ( including listening to your own advice). All the best.
Your last video WAS NOT ‘heavy’....was simply refreshing straight honesty. Every human has a different path,different experiences and different angles on reality. Greatest gift is sharing ones experience and realization in a way that you do. Probably don’t see it yourself and that is not a bad thing,cos then the old ego doesn’t jump aboard and sabotage your discourse. Just keep pushing on and life happens sometimes in spite of oneself,rather than because of us. In my experience every major event,encounter,experience happens out of the blue,unexpected.. no doubt you will continue to grow and hopefully continue to share. Wishing you a Very Happy Christmas. May you experience the true Nature of Christmas. Regards