18:57 What men really need 22:15 How men think 23:30 Why this bothers men 25:24 Example of things that will hit that nerve ‐ "Why did you..." 29:46 Say instead... - "I know u must have a reason, can you help me to understand what it's?" 31:46 Shaunti's Advice 34:48 "I'm so prood of you" 35:07 "Thank you" - Appreciating the things he does (36:00) 37:55 Appreciation is really important for men 38:21 What appreciaion does to a man - example 39:52 "Do i measure up?" - question 40:37 One thing that guys want to tell their girlfriends, but they can't explain - survey 42:09 A man is built by the suppor of his woman 43:21 Q & A's
Love comes with respect and appreciation! They are the same. Goes both ways and both man and woman need both the same, it just rubs us emotionally in a bigger way than the other. Each speak the same
This was so good. A little thank you to you too, for digging so much to understand men's thinking. During that Q&A session, when the second woman asked about her son not appreciating her "thank you" and saying he was not the best when she said so, you don't need to go so deep ( no offense). Actually the son is just feeling like his mom 'want' him to be the best, when she says that he is the best in the world. And this puts pressure on him causing him to hide his real feelings. Maybe it would be better if the mom says to her son," Thank you, your the best in the world FOR ME (and always will be)"
I'm NOT ONE BIT SURPRISED! I'VE BEEN USING WHAT SHE'S TEACHING HERE, AND IT WORKS EVEN ON THE APT OWNER... Nobody ever thanked him for fixing stuff before: He was bowled over!!! Using with my sweetheart, too, and he was also stunned (for the good!) When I started carefully thanking him, "respecting," saying out loud how I trust him, in our mealtime prayers in front of him thanking God for him, and asking for his peace, health,etc., and have been very careful not to accidentally crush him. It has brought great rewards . I __never__ start a sentence any more with " why did you..." but with " that was a good call, when you..." This exceptional, intelligent, sensitive, gorgeous, trustworthy man has relaxed, bonded for the first time, and I thank God for both him, and this fabulous training! And thanks!!!!!
As a man I could relate and agree with a lot of what she’s saying. One other thing I would say about appreciating your man, is to do something as well. She’s spot on with the thank you and I’m proud of you. But doing something like bringing him a beer while he’s mowing the lawn or Taking off his coat when he gets home from work. Little things like that show him you really care and he’ll deeply appreciate it when you do that
Cheers for the Video! Excuse me for chiming in, I would appreciate your initial thoughts. Have you tried - Lammywalness His Happiness Guide (do a google search)? It is a smashing exclusive product for understanding what men really want without the hard work. Ive heard some amazing things about it and my cousin got excellent results with it.
Women know men really well. Seriously When woman want to hit deeply first thing that she goes for is overt disrespect. Its even seen as good, "showing their place" between desperate housewifes. 😅 Most of men have to tolerate this behavior for years while being child. This explains why almost all men are afraid of "women in power". Who would want to go back to this dark place. Moms and female teachers had their chance to prove otherwise. Its like human dignity is unknown concept for them. Sadly my wife seems not ton get it so I'm running from her. Finally, when I cut off emotionally from her I'm lot happier and full of life. Thanks to amazing women like you I understood why I was dying inside. Love your message
Thanks for sharing! I hope the Lord blesses your marriage. Look into their other book and love her and see how she’ll submit to you. You’re the head and women naturally will submit to a man when they feel loved.
@@murahkami It's been a year. Since then I've been divorced and finally happy. Meanwhile I came to the point where I've been unable to do basic stuff because of emotional pain. Thanks to a couple of good people I'm well now. I'm joyful, hard working, healthy and in shape. My allocentric vision came back which means that trauma is healed. I'm finally capable of making plans and sticking to them. If women don't want to be wifes there's no marriage. That's all.
Ladies, if you say to your husband, "are you really wearing THAT shirt?", that is very disrespectful. Why not just say " I think another shirt would go better with those pants" Is that so difficult?
This would also be disrespectful to us as well but will rub not a disrespect response but still be disrespectful. It would hurt our feelings in the way of questions on your love for us.
I’m a man‼️ So how about… Honey, you look Hot in that shirt, but y’all gunna look smokin’ in this one… and don’t forget the twinkle in the eye and little kiss 💋 I would have no problemo with that 🥰 Some of us are actually fashion challenged (me!!) and we do appreciate your womanly tips 🙂
I'm starting a story now that I hope is a life story and not a love story. So good to hear that he doesn't want to know how I am feeling atm because romantic as I am feeling I giving a lot of signals. He seems to be feeling the same, he says really beautiful things and I don't. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed! It seems to good to be true.
Omg . This woman is really something. Im thinking she must have more patience or some quality most women do not have. Otherwise how did she get that far ?
We are in a distance relationship and About the last question, I come across to this kind of situation a lot, conflict turns into fights and he just shut me out and totally avoids me for few days. This thing has increased a lot recently, by your video I have understood what I am doing wrong unintentionally but now he thinks that I won't understand him, what should I do?
Shaunti's talk mostly relates to the good men out there and the ones who are married. She has a much too generous view of men in general. I have worked with the army for 30 years, I see the bad behaviors and nasty men, especially in my father who abused my mother for 50 years and dumped her in a nursing home at 82 years old when she refused sex. Her last words before she died were "I hate men." Maybe she should spend some time with an infantry unit or the marines or my father to see what is really going on. There is a good percentage of men , I think atleast 30%, who really are egotistical and deficient in relationships and no matter how much you try to work with them, there is no possibility of a good outcome.
I'm feeling so bad for you especially when you said that your mom said before she died "I hate men"😥😥😥 I'm sorry, sister. I'm a man. I'm not like that.
Alexander Grace, who does similar relationship talks on YT (but from an evolutionary psychology perspective) says that only a small percentage of both men and women are ready for functional relationships. You probably don't realise how many men have their lives diminished if not ruined by the women they end up with. My mother was something of a bully to my father who was a quiet sort of person who would not stand up to her.
Wow! Yeah this is why getting to know a woman, or even being in a relationship with women, i want to run.. or not deal with women! because no matter how much i would care for her, or spend time with her, from buying flowers, taking her out to nice dinners, trips and so on.. i can't get any respect from a woman! it's always about her! Sometimes i think to myself, How about me! i can't even get a Thank you so much for all that you do! You're amazing or something!!! it's almost like she feels like it's a man's job to do all of this.. which i don't mine at all!! But at least can i get a thanks!!!
"Getting right to the point" is important for men to understand us. Ranting too long about the "how" instead of right to the "what" on what we need to learn here, also another irritating trait of women..😄
Lucinda Gaskill Sorry i know its old but i dont understand what youre saying. How is the digital voice recorder related / solving the guy's head thing ?
First of all stop confusing the entire situation by adding something that does not belong. The entire discussion works better without the insertion of a character that is not involved, in fact one that does not exist. There is no God. There's no designer. The entire conversation works if you eliminate that confusing issue. the next thing you need to do is follow your own instructions. Do not assume anything about men and do not think that you know what their thoughts are intentions AR. Because you do not. Women extremely bad about this. They think they know the thoughts and intentions of other people when in fact all they are doing is projecting their own thoughts and intentions on to another person. Stop assuming and stop thinking that you know because you do not
@@mchristr didnt say it it. What I said was is that the entire concept and the entirety of what we know to be true does not in any way require a god. The concept of a god or designer is simply not needed. Occams razor.
Her reserach confirms what the bible says. It instructs husbands to love their wives and wives to reverence and obey her husband, ie. Respect. There are many, many reasons to believe in God. The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. Because men loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil. Neither cometh he to the light (which is Jesus Christ) lest his deeds should be reproved. Jesus Christ and his death, burial and resurrection for the payment og sins of man, that is the truth. He is the way, the truth and the life. No man cometh unto the Father but by him. Repent ye and believe the gospel.
Her reserach confirms what the bible says. It instructs husbands to love their wives and wives to reverence and obey her husband, ie. Respect. There are many, many reasons to believe in God. The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. Because men loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil. Neither cometh he to the light (which is Jesus Christ) lest his deeds should be reproved. Jesus Christ and his death, burial and resurrection for the payment og sins of man, that is the truth. He is the way, the truth and the life. No man cometh unto the Father but by him. Repent ye and believe the gospel.
Unfortunate setting- women are eating while the speaker is speaking. Very bad idea and dishonoring, since not a full attention is givien to the speaker.
Women might feel they respect their dude...but their actions dont say it...and for dudes actions speak louder Shaunti what you're talking about men internal vs external = stoicism...maintain frame
![Shaunti Feldhahn: Women@Work with Men: The Key to Influence and Effectiveness [Women@Work]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/b5-fNt-WIvY/mqdefault.jpg)
I learned more about myself from this simple lecture than from 40 years of life.
I'm a grown man and this lady made me cry 😢
Ladies please watch this video 5-10 times take notes for the sake of your man.
18:57 What men really need
22:15 How men think
23:30 Why this bothers men
25:24 Example of things that will hit that nerve
‐ "Why did you..."
29:46 Say instead...
- "I know u must have a reason, can you
help me to understand what it's?"
31:46 Shaunti's Advice
34:48 "I'm so prood of you"
35:07 "Thank you" - Appreciating the things he does (36:00)
37:55 Appreciation is really important for men
38:21 What appreciaion does to a man - example
39:52 "Do i measure up?" - question
40:37 One thing that guys want to tell their
girlfriends, but they can't explain - survey
42:09 A man is built by the suppor of his woman
43:21 Q & A's
Men's LOVE LANGUAGE is what we women call "BOSSINESS! CHECK IT OUT...
@@dayondastribling1396That's not one of the listed love languages, so what do you mean?
Thank you so much, this has changed my perspective on what men need to hear to understand. This was a life changing experience.
For me, too! This should be Psych 101 instead of "Normal" Psych, which is a contradiction in terms.
Actually should be taught in grade school as SOCIAL SURVIVAL Skills
At 18:35, 100% agree. Respect is men's form of love. If we have your respect, we feel loved.
Shaunti is absolutely spot on with all of this. How it would make my entire year if my wife one single time followed any of her advice.
Respect and Appreciation = Love
Love comes with respect and appreciation! They are the same. Goes both ways and both man and woman need both the same, it just rubs us emotionally in a bigger way than the other. Each speak the same
I've shared this with women friends who have men, big and little they wonder how to deal with. They all expressed gratitude, as in, " FINALLY!!"
This was so good. A little thank you to you too, for digging so much to understand men's thinking.
During that Q&A session, when the second woman asked about her son not appreciating her "thank you" and saying he was not the best when she said so, you don't need to go so deep ( no offense).
Actually the son is just feeling like his mom 'want' him to be the best, when she says that he is the best in the world. And this puts pressure on him causing him to hide his real feelings.
Maybe it would be better if the mom says to her son," Thank you, your the best in the world FOR ME (and always will be)"
Really good stuff here, thank you for posting this.
At 30:00, she talks about the milk. To me, that shows how men are deeper thinkers than we are given credit for.
For guys it’s not so much about looking good it’s about looking competent/capable etc
I'm NOT ONE BIT SURPRISED! I'VE BEEN USING WHAT SHE'S TEACHING HERE, AND IT WORKS EVEN ON THE APT OWNER... Nobody ever thanked him for fixing stuff before: He was bowled over!!!
Using with my sweetheart, too, and he was also stunned (for the good!) When I started carefully thanking him, "respecting," saying out loud how I trust him, in our mealtime prayers in front of him thanking God for him, and asking for his peace, health,etc., and have been very careful not to accidentally crush him. It has brought great rewards . I __never__ start a sentence any more with " why did you..." but with " that was a good call, when you..."
This exceptional, intelligent, sensitive, gorgeous, trustworthy man has relaxed, bonded for the first time, and I thank God for both him, and this fabulous training! And thanks!!!!!
Thank you Shaunti, what you're doing is enormously important
As a man I could relate and agree with a lot of what she’s saying. One other thing I would say about appreciating your man, is to do something as well. She’s spot on with the thank you and I’m proud of you. But doing something like bringing him a beer while he’s mowing the lawn or Taking off his coat when he gets home from work. Little things like that show him you really care and he’ll deeply appreciate it when you do that
Totally! It's the sign of apperication plus the verbal affirmation that really does it!
Definitely it was one of the best talks I’ve ever heard about how men’s brain work. Many thanks for Sharing.
Actually, I found the presenter quite articulate and her tone was such that she made her presentation very interesting.
Cheers for the Video! Excuse me for chiming in, I would appreciate your initial thoughts. Have you tried - Lammywalness His Happiness Guide (do a google search)? It is a smashing exclusive product for understanding what men really want without the hard work. Ive heard some amazing things about it and my cousin got excellent results with it.
Women know men really well. Seriously
When woman want to hit deeply first thing that she goes for is overt disrespect. Its even seen as good, "showing their place" between desperate housewifes. 😅
Most of men have to tolerate this behavior for years while being child. This explains why almost all men are afraid of "women in power". Who would want to go back to this dark place. Moms and female teachers had their chance to prove otherwise.
Its like human dignity is unknown concept for them.
Sadly my wife seems not ton get it so I'm running from her. Finally, when I cut off emotionally from her I'm lot happier and full of life. Thanks to amazing women like you I understood why I was dying inside. Love your message
Thanks for sharing! I hope the Lord blesses your marriage. Look into their other book and love her and see how she’ll submit to you. You’re the head and women naturally will submit to a man when they feel loved.
@@murahkami It's been a year.
Since then I've been divorced and finally happy.
Meanwhile I came to the point where I've been unable to do basic stuff because of emotional pain.
Thanks to a couple of good people I'm well now. I'm joyful, hard working, healthy and in shape.
My allocentric vision came back which means that trauma is healed.
I'm finally capable of making plans and sticking to them.
If women don't want to be wifes there's no marriage. That's all.
Eye opening. Thanks!
Ladies, if you say to your husband, "are you really wearing THAT shirt?", that is very disrespectful. Why not just say " I think another shirt would go better with those pants" Is that so difficult?
This would also be disrespectful to us as well but will rub not a disrespect response but still be disrespectful. It would hurt our feelings in the way of questions on your love for us.
are you saying both statements are just as blunt and disrespectful?
Z
I’m a man‼️ So how about… Honey, you look Hot in that shirt, but y’all gunna look smokin’ in this one… and don’t forget the twinkle in the eye and little kiss 💋 I would have no problemo with that 🥰 Some of us are actually fashion challenged (me!!) and we do appreciate your womanly tips 🙂
Better yet...say something like id love if you wore X cuz you look badass or shoulders look great in it
Wow! This was so helpful, thank you!
I'm starting a story now that I hope is a life story and not a love story. So good to hear that he doesn't want to know how I am feeling atm because romantic as I am feeling I giving a lot of signals. He seems to be feeling the same, he says really beautiful things and I don't. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed! It seems to good to be true.
Omg . This woman is really something. Im thinking she must have more patience or some quality most women do not have. Otherwise how did she get that far ?
Looking forward to a speech by a man who can tell me how women think.
Jordan Peterson and Sheila Wray Gregoire do a pretty decent job on that IMO
We are in a distance relationship and About the last question, I come across to this kind of situation a lot, conflict turns into fights and he just shut me out and totally avoids me for few days. This thing has increased a lot recently, by your video I have understood what I am doing wrong unintentionally but now he thinks that I won't understand him, what should I do?
Needed this 🙌 🙏 ❤
Is there a male version of this video? Helping men understand women?
There is a book...
Experience
@@MalikEmmanuel for men only
Its in the process and should only take about another 2 millennium 😉
She has a book: For men only. I am sure there is an audiobook for it too.
I'm surprised that there are so few views and comments.
I like her comments at 24:00
There you have it. Don't let any Neo-Feminist tell you that men and women are the same. We're not.
Shaunti's talk mostly relates to the good men out there and the ones who are married. She has a much too generous view of men in general. I have worked with the army for 30 years, I see the bad behaviors and nasty men, especially in my father who abused my mother for 50 years and dumped her in a nursing home at 82 years old when she refused sex. Her last words before she died were "I hate men." Maybe she should spend some time with an infantry unit or the marines or my father to see what is really going on. There is a good percentage of men , I think atleast 30%, who really are egotistical and deficient in relationships and no matter how much you try to work with them, there is no possibility of a good outcome.
then there are 70% that are great men :D nice!
I'm feeling so bad for you especially when you said that your mom said before she died "I hate men"😥😥😥
I'm sorry, sister. I'm a man. I'm not like that.
Your mother married a piece of garbage man. Says a lot about her to be honest.
Alexander Grace, who does similar relationship talks on YT (but from an evolutionary psychology perspective) says that only a small percentage of both men and women are ready for functional relationships. You probably don't realise how many men have their lives diminished if not ruined by the women they end up with. My mother was something of a bully to my father who was a quiet sort of person who would not stand up to her.
You dont think there are a crap ton of crappy women...
She gets it.
Wow! Yeah this is why getting to know a woman, or even being in a relationship with women, i want to run.. or not deal with women! because no matter how much i would care for her, or spend time with her, from buying flowers, taking her out to nice dinners, trips and so on.. i can't get any respect from a woman! it's always about her! Sometimes i think to myself, How about me! i can't even get a Thank you so much for all that you do! You're amazing or something!!! it's almost like she feels like it's a man's job to do all of this.. which i don't mine at all!! But at least can i get a thanks!!!
Like a BM would say choose better .
"Getting right to the point" is important for men to understand us. Ranting too long about the "how" instead of right to the "what" on what we need to learn here, also another irritating trait of women..😄
the person's head at the bottom is annoying as hell.there is a new invention - it's called a digital voice recorder.scribble scribble scribble
Lucinda Gaskill Sorry i know its old but i dont understand what youre saying. How is the digital voice recorder related / solving the guy's head thing ?
What a woman advising on men 😂😂😂😂😂😂
First of all stop confusing the entire situation by adding something that does not belong. The entire discussion works better without the insertion of a character that is not involved, in fact one that does not exist. There is no God. There's no designer. The entire conversation works if you eliminate that confusing issue.
the next thing you need to do is follow your own instructions. Do not assume anything about men and do not think that you know what their thoughts are intentions AR. Because you do not. Women extremely bad about this. They think they know the thoughts and intentions of other people when in fact all they are doing is projecting their own thoughts and intentions on to another person. Stop assuming and stop thinking that you know because you do not
@@mchristr didnt say it it. What I said was is that the entire concept and the entirety of what we know to be true does not in any way require a god. The concept of a god or designer is simply not needed. Occams razor.
@@mchristr I know, introducing a theory of origins that you don't agree with is so annoying! I keep telling the evolutionary psychologists that.
Her reserach confirms what the bible says. It instructs husbands to love their wives and wives to reverence and obey her husband, ie. Respect. There are many, many reasons to believe in God. The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. Because men loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil. Neither cometh he to the light (which is Jesus Christ) lest his deeds should be reproved. Jesus Christ and his death, burial and resurrection for the payment og sins of man, that is the truth. He is the way, the truth and the life. No man cometh unto the Father but by him. Repent ye and believe the gospel.
Her reserach confirms what the bible says. It instructs husbands to love their wives and wives to reverence and obey her husband, ie. Respect. There are many, many reasons to believe in God. The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. Because men loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil. Neither cometh he to the light (which is Jesus Christ) lest his deeds should be reproved. Jesus Christ and his death, burial and resurrection for the payment og sins of man, that is the truth. He is the way, the truth and the life. No man cometh unto the Father but by him. Repent ye and believe the gospel.
@@rorytennes8576 Appreciate your reply. The entire concept of truth requires an ultimate Source of truth. If not, how to we adjudicate truth claims?
Unfortunate setting- women are eating while the speaker is speaking. Very bad idea and dishonoring, since not a full attention is givien to the speaker.
Well women are passive and don't have to take any action or responsibility on their part
Women might feel they respect their dude...but their actions dont say it...and for dudes actions speak louder
Shaunti what you're talking about men internal vs external = stoicism...maintain frame