Dating: The Messy Experiment
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- Опубліковано 18 вер 2024
- Caught in a society where commitment is viewed as a beautiful thing but is so rarely a reality, dating is the norm. But is dating anything more than an experiment? How can a woman continue to see her proper value when she’s picked up and discarded over and over? How can a man esteem himself, when he knows after failing in some way, ten other men can replace him? With no vows holding people together, dating is a casual affair that creates too many casualties.
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#podcast #dating #date #marriage #marriedlife #couple #prom
So wise beyond their years ,so refreshing.
Excellent advice! Courtship is the best road!
I LOVE YOU GIRLS!!! It would have been a blessing to have friends like you when I was your age!❤
Courting the way God intended it and casually dating is two different things. When a man is seeking a woman, you set the boundaries and you let him know early on who you serve, what your intentions are and then he will make a decision if he wants to continue pursuing you as a wife. The Bible reminds us that a man who finds his wife finds a good thing. If He’s the one you will be a good thing. This is coming from a Christian married woman who took courting seriously and allowing God to lead. God bless you ladies on your journey
Amen🙌
Its not easy... 3 out of 4 "black" women will NEVER be married - NEVER!
@@davicool4284 where did that statistic come from ?
@@kaylasweet5431 try Google! Also with current divorce rates only one "black" woman in ten will have a happy marriage.
@@kaylasweet5431 Google it
Thank you for your podcast. It is super informative and you women do a fabulous job!
Glad you enjoyed it!
I hope more young people pay attention to you ladies. The nuclear family unit is under attack and so far it has been a successful dismantling of the corner stone of civilisation. The family.
So true. Historically and even now, especially black communities were blatantly targeted but we're seeing an increasing exploitation of black and white alike these days. "They don't really care about us" We're in this together, Baby!
The word “parent” actually means “two”. So you’re exactly right God never meant for one person to raise children. However, we know that there could be tragedies but single motherhood or father hood leads to much heartbreak and more.
Dating isn’t the problem, premarital sex is because it clouds folks judgment. Dating is simply an opportunity to collect data. Very similar to a job interview, you would go through a process to see which applicant is the best candidate to fill your role of husband or wife. Dating and hooking up are not the same.
I love your beautiful hairstyles. You might consider doing a video on your hair
Not all people that date, have sex or bounce around from people to people. When my husband and I started dating, we both already knew that we the goal was marriage and we wanted to please God in everything we do and say! A year later we were married! And for the record not everyone that court or should I say call it courting were actually committed and actually did what's right! What I tell young girls is to ask God to send them husband and will truly know when its the man that God sent to her. There will be no doubts. Whether they decided to call it courting or dating when getting to know each other does not matter as Long as they stand on their principles and beliefs. Be held accountable by parents ,friends and each other. Put God before everything and let him lead them while getting to know each other. They knows right from wrong and as long as God is in the mow they will be alright! All in all you can “court”all you want but the most important thing is to make your are led by the Holyspirt and its who the Lord wants you to court because it will still be a waste of time!
Amen! When you build your relationships on the foundation of Gods will, what we call it can be technically disputed. Thank you for taking the time to share your experience with us! We really appreciate the interaction!
What your call a"thing" responds to it
There's a reason why both terms are in the dictionary and why a greater percentage of the world prefers one to the other ma'am
Nowadays your considered a rarity among the majority...what seems to be the common narrative among the younger generation influenced by social media...superficial is the theme looks, lust, money and no loyalty.
Im so proud i prayed for all my grand kids I raised my girls are 19/20 are praying for what god wants for them never dated.they said you did a great job i prayed every day for them to believe on god.fasted but prayed 6 hrs a day.my girls felt like you ladies used there own mind and whats going on around them i never told them not to date or they could not have a boyfriend.
Brilliant!
In the Orthodox Jewish world, "dating" is qualified with a word: shidduch.
People who are "shidduch dating" are dating without physical intimacy, complete privacy, and with the intention to find their lifelong partner in marraige.
A "shidduch" is a match, as you may recall from Fiddler on the Roof's "matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match". In many cases, people who are shidduch dating create a basic profile called a "shidduch resume" of themselves: a little bit about their family, their education, their personality, what they are looking for, and personal and family references. Sometimes this includes a photograph. Then, matchmakers in the form of professionals, teachers, community members, parents, or even friends, suggest matches based on other individuals they know, or perhaps know of through a shidduch resume.
Before the two even meet, a lot of thought is put into whether the two are compatible, and references are called and asked more personal questions that might affect their compatibility. Once both sides (and often times their parents as well) approve of the match, the two will go on a date. But again, all physical touch between men and women outside of immediate family and marriage, even casual touch that is not intimate, is forbidden by a Jewish law called "shomer negiah" ("guarding the separation"), and thus dates will only include exchange of words, ideas, and experiences, but not physicality.
At least in my community, before getting engaged, people usually date someone for about two to three months, and then marry within about two months of their engagement. People who are shidduch dating do not do so "just for fun"- they do it for marriage, to find their life partner, and to build a family. Most couples begin building a family within two years of getting married, depending on G-d's plan.
Personally, I am a huge fan of this system. Some find it tiresome, but I think it is an extremely wholesome, respectful, and efficient way to develop a faithful and sustainable relationship, and therefore marriage.
That’s interesting. It’s kind of like a dating app, but much more personal and intentional. So many people today do not live in strong close-knit communities since we (Americans) live in a post-industrial society with people moving all over for work. So, a lot of people resort to dating apps to build connections and potentially meet their future spouse. However, dating apps are also inundated with people who aren’t looking for marriage, so without a community who can recommend potential mates, people are left with the task of weeding out those sorts of individuals and having some negative dating experiences. Hence why people feel it is harder to date nowadays. Attitudes are changing as well, with economic instability, the working age is increasing, people are having less time to date & having families later. Overall, finding “the one” for many people nowadays will likely arise from being in the right environment, and finding someone with similar interests, potentially in a graduate education environment.
God had a hand in my relationship thats gor sure. My husband and I jumped the gun and had a baby before marriage i was only 17. But four children and 28 yrs later we are still going strong and we knew from the get go both being raised by single mothers and grandparents that even if we didn't stay together our kids would always have us both. I have always had a strong faith in God and was raised with a grandmother who told us to learn about all religions and chose gor ourselves where God wanted us to be. I told my husband that i would never sign divorce papers and if he wasn't marrying me for eternity to not be standing at the front of the church! We do not belong to any denomination because we don't agree completely with any we have found but we worship and serve God together the way we see fit. Love that you girls are so strong in your beliefs and sharing it with the world!
I totally agree with you. It's sad to see so many innocent children given away for adoption or have single parents. Just because the couple who were dating were not being responsible or obeying God's plan. It's a sad situation. People have forgotten what the Bible says.
Gods way or No WAY!!!!
I think the exact same! I’m never ever gonna date… it never sat right w/me.
My first will be my last, in Jesus name!!! & I’m waiting for Gods timing -- could never be pressed to lose my virginity just to fit in w/the crowd. I am not supposed to conform to the things of this world, but to be a light/difference.
You young ladies are making the right choice especially these days. You guys are so smart and I respect yall so much.
The dating these days and lack of two parent homes is so alarming and it is truly an epidemic. It’s really sad the dark turn dating culture has taken in the day and age of technology/social media. The respect you have for yourselves and confidence in self worth is second to none. No lies detected here. Dating these days just makes it so you water yourself down and it’s really setting yourself up for failure.
If you observe two serious individuals who would say they are courting or dating, im sure we would find they are one and the same thing but the words belong to different times. Dating is a word more commonly used in the mordern era. Depending on the individual the terms of dating and courting can be very similar.
I think it's harmful to view things so black and white. To see courting as more superior because its supposedly a commitment and dating to be more flimsy can lead people to finding themselves trapped in an environment that presnted itself as safe.
Dating does not mean intimacy and neither does courting guarantee marriage. The seriousness of the track you find yourselves on depends on the parameters set by both individuals involved, not the words you use to define the period before marriage.
I think you guys leap skipped and jumped to conclusions by insinuating that dating is going to lead to unplanned pregnanies and single parent homes. There are many a courtship that have ended the same way and many a marriage that started with courting that have ended in disaster. And vice versa some have dated and still happily married.
I think on a grand scale in the modern western world marraiges as a whole are more likely to end in divorce whichever way you start it. Humans are just hard going.
I think they are going for majority rules here. Exceptions don’t make the rule.
@@UnbiasedRemarks the divorce rate in the church is just as high as outside so If your referring to majority rules, then yup, relationship break down in and outside the church looks the same at the same rate. Courting doesn't mean you are more safe from negative experiences, I've seen it over and over in the church, relationships are just as harmful or even more in the church due to the desire to get things right first time, forgive me things that are major red flags, unhelpful advise from the community. Majority rules, no exceptions here.
I think Whichever way is operating according to the Bible is the main point Sis. 99 times out of 100 when I hear someone say they're dating/or use to Date a person, it was in no way shape or form on one accord with the Bible. To your point though, someone could say they're Courting somebody, and still not Align with the Bible - But I hardly if Ever hear that word being used
I appreciate you girls boundaries. In fact i salute you. The problem as i see it is not only with instant gratification but it is also with the loss of the tribal community set up in the western world- where the impacts of single parenthood are felt far more then in some African societies where there is a communal responsibility for raising a child. Everyone is referred to as Uncle and Aunty and if they catch you doing something you shouldn't they will admonish you. There is so much that has been lost and damaged the fabric of society with this increasingly industrialised western word that we live in.
Yes, so true.
Poor innocent
Babies without
What they deserve.
Hi Ladies,
I love these videos. I am so happy to see the values and biblical views. I am presently binge watching all your videos. My only question is, whether your clothing are tailored or if you purchase them in a clothing store and where?
Great question! We generally sew them ourselves. Some of us are better seamstresses than others (lol) so sometimes we get other seamstresses to make our clothing.
Letting GOD choose your mate is the only way to go
How's that?
Through smoke signals?
@davicool4284 for you yes,for us humans through prayer 🙏🏽
@davicool4284 for you yes, for us humans through prayer
🔥 🎯
I enjoy your way of thinking it through and discussing it … it’s an interesting subject .
I guess it all in how you define dating ?..
Dating is one part of courtship, getting to know the person you’re attracted too , my grandparents went on a date and stayed together 67 years ..until both passed away , dates can go bad , also dates can go good too…, what you’re willing to do on a date is defined by your own character…. , while dating a gentleman…. showing he can protect and provide and is of sound character.. dating doesn’t always translate into kissing or having sex .. it can depending on their morals.. most often you’re going places having fun together.. doing things you both enjoy .. building a bond .. that can last a lifetime -
Awesome video, HALLELUYAH!!!!
Great job 👏🏽 😊
You ladies are amazing. I only have one bit of feedback. Its "Love, peace and hair grease."
A lot of people fathers don’t know they exist it’s truly sad
So how do you court initially?
If you decide to court are you then required to marry regardless of compatibility?
You young Ladies are Restoring hope by living according to the Bible.. The "Church" is inundated with people who "Serve two masters", "Love the World", and do Not Know, Understand, and Believe in (the Everlasting) Scripture.. i Pray you Young Ladies continue grow in Spirit, Wisdom, and Truth
My parents used the term courting. Do you only have one courtship and get married, regardless of compatibility? How does the process work with you? I'm curious, because I want to know if you have choices in the courtship. If it does not work out, do you stop courting all together and never marry?
I'd say the aim is to only have one courtship, but that shouldn't be a guarantee. My process is to let God guide me towards who to court (only someone who seems eligible for me to marry), then courting is a time to better explore if it's really God's will for us to get married. Whether in courtship or engagement if it becomes clear that marrying that person would not be God's will, it's better to stop the relationship before starting marriage. At that point you you don't have to feel guilty. Just let God lead you to whoever He actually wants you to marry. To me courtship is putting yourself in a better position to make a decision about marriage because you have a unique closer friendship to get to know the person and experience them and their effect on you than if you are just close friends. If it doesn't work out there's something to learn from it that will help you later.
Very cool… dating and courtship are not the same… Dating is not biblical.
Refreshing to hear these views in this day and age.
God’s way is always perfect.
Only if we can get the men on board too. This world would be great
niceee
Dating is not sharing your body with anyone you date. Yes, courtship is more serious. You are going on today’s standards. You need to individualise.
Loving this
Dating doesn’t mean sexing. So, what is the difference in dating and courting?
Just a quick question because I’m new around here. I’ve heard you guys reference being a Christian in other videos too but I’m wondering if you have a specific denomination that you ascribe to? Since Christian is such a blanket term anyway. I’ve never seen Christians dress this way and I was just wondering if it was specific to your denomination? You both are beautiful, I’m just curious. Thanks for sharing your thoughts as well on this topic ladies 🫶🏽
Thank you for the question! We have mentioned that we’re Christians before. We are a part of the church of God and we consider ourselves anti-denominational. We do have videos explaining why we dress this way and more of our belief system. Please feel free to check it out and let us know what you think. I’ll post the link down below. 👇🏽
ua-cam.com/video/yx0gIVgbmVs/v-deo.htmlsi=ORLEa3_VI8gL8gJ2
ua-cam.com/video/-IG9hetWsSw/v-deo.htmlsi=k72WfcjT4oNDEiV7
Thanks for being here! ✌🏽❤️🪮
@@GottaBMePodcast okay thats awesome! I’m going to head over and check out the video. Thank you! It’s very striking to see young beautiful ladies covered up. If only more knew how covering up actually makes you stand out more. The more you take off the more you’re just like everyone else. Easily forgotten and overlooked as just another girl. God bless you ladies ❤️
I've come to realize that dating is practicing divorce
Interesting perspective
Lol I thought that after the Duggars that people would be familiar with not dating.
Unfortunately the cost of "dating" has been reduced to a Netflix subscription and chicken wings with shrimp fried rice from your friendly neighborhood Chinese restaurant. That's your entry to having sex.
❤
I don’t like dating, I’m ready to be married and I want to find a man who is ready too. The problem is I’m too old. So I’m trying to just accept the fact that I’m probably going to be alone for the remainder of my time here. I guess it could be worse.
Sex after married and counseling is very important. Sex without married Single Mom
I'm curious. How does this "courtship" emerge and evolve? Does it begin as revelation, arranged marriage, the crush you had since Sunday School, or an "ah-ha" moment while grocery shopping? Is it enough to appear desirable to someone due to shared values? How about romantic interest, or is it simply Gods will. Also, I perceive you're somehow equate "dating" with "hooking up."
What you ladies are saying is true however I think because you are so focused on the negatives, you don’t see the positives of dating someone casually, which does not mean you have to kiss them touch them or have sex with them. You’re getting to know what type of man you like and who you want to be around and then you can start courting but I just think lack of information has you sounding a little small minded if you think dating is only sex or heartache. Dating can be a fun and beautiful thing within your boundaries.
Pregnancy usually takes place in dysfunctional families. When you have goals as a young person, you have a sense of self. And pregnancy is going to be the last thing on your mind because you know what your peiority is and if education is your priority, you will not get pregnancy. So that makes you even more responsible and trusting yourself. I believe it is hard to just date only if it is going to lead to mariage. People change, people evolve so are you. You do not know where life will take you. You could date, daring does not mean having sex. It means meeting new people and learning about them and getting experience. So, by the time you get married you enjoy life and had fun. Thiis isdifferent from going around having sex or jumping around with different men. Trust yourself, be responsible, have your priority straight, and enjoy life and yourself. You are only young once, you never get a second chance. In your case, I think it might be challenging because you come across to me as not sure exactly where you belong. So that is going to be confusing for a lot of men. I am not sure where you belong. I know you are biracial but even for a biracial, black, or white, or others I can't really pinpoint where you are exactly personally. Take my advice positively. That is all it is meant for.
So as a 32 year old I can acknowledge and value the wisdom these 2 have relative to other females and males their age, however I am extremely disappointed in they way they speak because I believe they lack the life experience needed to have a more insightful experience about dating and life in general. If they were in their mid 30s to mid 40s speaking like this I would take them more seriously.
They don't need that kind of experience.
How does one get in contact with you?
Feel free to reach out to us at gottabmepodcast@gmail.com
How old are the two of you?
We are 19 and 22. We have an intro video where we talk about our ages and other fun stuff if you would like to check it out 😄 ua-cam.com/video/p9wWuxeiTBY/v-deo.htmlsi=TXgjauqi65LVZG5M
Is your version of courtship, kinda like what the Duggar’s do. 19 kids and counting.
Your parents dated so it worked . Your view point is also shaped by what you’ve been taught and not by experience. It’s like learned racism as a child . If you’re going to date inside your community then your point will be tailored towards that community.
Yall are Protestants if you didn't know.
What do you think makes us Protestant?
Are you Catholic?
Well the definition of a protestant is a member or follower of any Western Christian churches or movements separate from the Roman Catholic Church. Technically all Christians who don’t recognize the Pope are Protestants, including the non-denominational “bible-based” faiths based on the notion that a relationship with God requires no intermediary. Interested to hear from you ladies what your conception of a Protestant is? I get the impression that when you refer to Protestantism, you’re maybe equating the core notion with certain evangelical churches, colonialism, manifest destiny etc.?
@@GottaBMePodcast if you’re not Catholic then you are Protestants
my gaydar comin in strong for the one on the right
What the heck😑
You speak a little negatively about “Protestantism “.. the only other choice within Christianity is Catholicism. Do you identify as such.
We think that both Catholicism and Protestantism are sects of so called christianity. There is no Biblical foundation for sectism as God and His people are called to be one. So we identify as Bible based true Christians who are simply followers of Christ and will come together with all other followers of Christ. It’s a little confusing for us to try to disconnect ourselves from other people who are also following the truth. To us if we’re all fighting against evil for the end goal of reaching the oneness of humanity, we’ll all eventually come together to reach our goal.
Thank you for your respectful replies🙂
But what is the name of your denomination or church?
@@MiriamSanyimethey are part of the Church of God organization