I've learned that the best way to handle silent treatment is to give the silent treatment back! I can hold out longer, and rather enjoy the peace and quiet! Works every time!
@Patriot Jefferson It's not the man's job to chase you. Another lie women are socially conditioned to believe. You can chas and talk to men just as easily! Stop making excuses.
I know how you feel over half of my hair fell out the last hurtful thing he did was take off with our son and cut contact with me i got our son back but it was hell still is because he can still contact me but i respond as little as possible
I've been there, it sucks. My hair was so beautiful, too. Now it's finally starting to grow back, but jeezus, that was some awful shit. Get away from frustration- that's the only thing that will make it better. Find people that validate you and make you feel good about yourself. I know that everyone says that, but it's so true. Find some people to worship your glorious self, and do the same to them in return!
PLEASE be aware..."NO CONTACT" is very different than giving "the silent treatment"! Those of us that have been the victim of narcissistic abuse (and have tried everything to survive it) go "no-contact" to maintain our sanity (as a last resort). But instead of becoming introspective by realizing how horrible theyve treated you, the narcissists often retaliate by saying you are mean by giving them "the silent treatment".
@@sarahdouglas5851when does the silent treatment become no contact?? My father was the complete narc in our family but my sister is pinning the blame all on my mother for all the drama. I went no contact with my father 5 years ago but my sister has remained in contact with him. My sister went silent treatment or no contact on me and my mother 2 years ago and I don’t know why.
@@brands_eyman3715 I wasn't calling YOU weak and worthless, I was generally speaking. The one's who make excuses for staying in abusive relationships have already been conditioned to think this way by their abuser. Just because it isn't easy doesn't justify the continuance of staying in an unhealthy relationship. It is selfish in a way because not only are you being abusive to yourself by staying, you're being abusive to the children who are involved as well as the friends and family that have to deal with the aftermath of it. You might as well be the abuser if you stay in an abusive relationship because you are partaking in your own abuse.
Don't worry sis, I did the same and looking back at what I apologised for I feel stupid but I went quite and never speak to her unless its about my daughter, that upsets her, I can tell because of the bunch of screenshots of her posts on Facebook that one of her friends sends me. They are hurting more than us, their ego is bruised and they never thought we would see through them and leave them.
Not only did I endure the silent treatment, I was made to feel totally invisible. The man I loved would act as if I did not exist. It was not only terribly hurtful but maddening. He took great pleasure in destroying my self-esteem and sense of worth. You cannot fix a narcissist. Removing yourself from the relationship really is the best solution.
He's in a relationship with my mum, she plays into his behaviour by keeping us away from each other, but it means I don't see her too often. What about that?
Silent treatment is passive aggressive my ex was a covert narc taught me so much xx Walk away! Love yourself!! they only want attention!!!! It's what they did not get as a child!! They had poor parents, Not your fault!!!
I am dealing with one at the moment everything in this video is exactly how he's treated me and still does on the beginning constantly calling texting engaging made me believe I was the one them as soon as he knew I liked hm a lot he pulled away and cancels dates at the last minute without consideration about how I fe then says I don't think about anyone but myself when he's the one who cancels! G-d give me strength to walk away.
@@elliejudah7375 You and everybody else on this thread deserve *so much better,* and to be around other happy, exciting people who love to learn and enjoy life!
My ex wife gave me the silent treatment, first 3-4 weeks. Then I became used to it, she didn’t talk to me for about 6 months and I began to feel really comfortable with it. When she finally talked to me I couldn’t help tinkling “I preferred when you didn’t talk to me”.
My mother used the silent treatment my whole life. Even at event would give everyone a hug but pretend i wasn't even there. I absolutely had enough and went no contact with my whole family a couple of yrs ago. Not going to be the family garbage can. I am finally living in peace and not in pieces!!!
Using the silent treatment on a child is the cruelest thing. I had this happen to me and it was horrible because a child can't escape it :(( and feels like their whole world will end when the caregivers affections are totally taken away and you don't know when they'll talk to you next. :(
A boyfriend I lived with years ago used to give me the silent treatment. I would pull up a chair, get my sketch pad and draw him. I still have the sketches. He looks so pissed off.
I end relationship every time a partner gives me the silent treatment. It just means, that they can't cope with their faults, and are not willing to accept their mistakes. This is the most that they are going to try in the relationship if everything doesn't work out, which is giving the silent treatment. So i just end it right then and there, you wouldn't want to spend the rest of your life with a person who is not willing to admit their fault. I don't take any bull shit, if it's my fault, i will gladly apologize and move on, but when it's your fault, i expect you to admit your mistake and apologize as well. Simple as that.
I think this is the best and most empowering answer. Question; What do you do when it is a friend or a family member doing it? Do you also end those connections? And also, how do you go about the not so obvious silent treatment, but for example one where they delay answering your text for a longer time... When you call them out on it, they will deny and say they were busy with work or another lame excuse that you know isn't true.
@@dannymeyer3256 my husband told me he wanted to effing kill me the other day he has never said anything like that when they break their silence they let their true feelings out! So every time he gives me the silent treatment I know what he’s thinking now!! They really are just miserable people
Yup, silent treatment now, no response to any texts or phone calls. However, let's face it, she's doing me a favour, right? Time to move on. She's ruined...
This is my covert narc husband's tactic. I have learned to use that time to regroup and relax. He can do this for weeks. Only been married for 3 years. Dated for 2 years. His mask fell off pretty quick after we married. I could have never believed he is this soulless monster.
yeah I'm still single because bullying Our Baby is easier than Babying me and still a virgin. I got more years on the oldest virgin. Stem cell research! who knew I could clone myself and still feel like killing myself is better than saving the same narcissistic oil titty sucky sucky nomy nomy you idiots are KILLING MOMMY with this disgusting addiction to fossil fuel. OIL IS WHAT GROWS YOUR FOOD OIL is BLOOD of my dying planet. would y'all mommies do me a favor, tuck me in tonight, love me because i allow humanity the freedom to choose. ya it is me who saves humanity. my job sucks. I get to go thru the worst of abuse just to save the same people who blatantly TORTURE me. y'all needs to let go the past too sorry I cannot sweep myself or my ever last permanently fucked brain under the agenda carpet. I will not just go awaY. YOU CITIZENS OWE ME HUGE
This is a good suggestion. The silent treatment, if it is repeated and chronic can be just one small symptom of the much larger problem of a narcissistic personality disordered individual that has overall disregard for you as a person. Emotional abuse is as much of a reason to leave as physical abuse.
I love the silent treatment its peaceful no drama no lies no accusations no being screamed at no confusions no being laughed at I love his silence wish it would last for a life time
So, the short answer is to get out. My ex would have spent the two hours watching porn only to say he wanted to break up when I got back. That was his joker card in any dispute which put me into immediate try to save the relationship because I didn't want to end over something "so small" (now I know it was imaginary or an emotional reaction purposely provoked in me). I used to be terrified to lose him, lol. The irony is life is so much better with him gone.
sysmjp3 i think they're all into heavy porn & most of them carry venereal diseases & infect others & that's a given. It's one think to have been contaminated with a venereal disease but to know having it & infect someone else is a total different ballgame.
Christina Garcia hopefully this well help you make better choices in life. . evil is real!... I test people out especially when they come over my house I put them on probation for about 3 months & I always give them something that belonged to me... If they fk up probation I'll call the cops & say they stole it! I'll set up a mthrfkr quick & mean it!.. Broke my heart to see my friends daughter involved with this guy. She was buying him expensive clothing with the money she earned & he'd take it. He didn't care she had a son even though not his. I dime her because she neglected her son. The guy always threaten to leave her when he wanted something. Her father & i went to her house & she barely had food & the house in shambles; I said FK. THIS SHIT! I called on her crazy az her son was just a little boy & all because the guy was popular & really good looking with a sports car; a jigalo. When girls are in their early teens & even as early as ten they should be warned to keep their eyes open for these type of guys for they're nothing but opportunists & heart breakers. I'm very happy that my girls none are stupid, I taught them well just can't fk with women like them. Take suggestions, think of yourself before you think of anyone & that means, that by doing this you will be more happy & peaceful. I can't see why women mourn so much for the person they say love when they don't have a clue of their purpose in life??? Take care
So true....we do teach people how to treat us, by what we allow, what we stop and what we reenforce. Took me a long time to figure this one out... And the narc is not going to be happy about any of this, because it stifles their control. But.... in the end if you are not able to make their life better/ sweeter for them and they are not able to do the same for you.........it is time to call the whole thing Off. It isn't worth your health or the wasted years.
I started doing the same thing with him. The "Silent Treatment"! Every time he walked out of my house not his I locked the door behind him! I don't talk to him I don't stopped what I am doing for him. I did this for two years and he finally filed for divorced. And I comply without a blink of an eye! He went so far of bringing his 3rd party situation to our divorced proceedings! I ignored them both? 😅 Then on the same day after we both signed our divorced papers. He purposely bumbs into me and asked me if I'm OK! I ignored him again and acted as he wasn't even there in the same space! The abuse physically/emotionally was crazy! I thought I was going to lose my life. Done with him!
I have been with my Narc for 10 long agonizing years!! Im finally ready to get off the crazy train... He has cheated verbally abused me physically abused me makes me think im going crazy disappear for weeks at a time.. I have decided im going to die if i stay with this EVIL MAN I have gone no contact i know its a matter of time before he stalks me again i just pray i have the strength to run and never look back!!
I really wish I could be that strong mentally, I know my narc boyfriend is the same way. I know he would purposely do many things to hurt me if we separated. We work in the same industry!!! There is no way out!!! I just have to get by day by day.😢
I was ignored for 7 years my whole marriage I've never been through anything like it she was slowly killing me my health was depleting so it's rough I feel for anyone that has to deal with one
@@iniubongnkanga9390 idk of I'm a narcissistic but I do give people silent treatment only because they ahve hurtled me since iam dealing with one now it went that far that I even slef harmed you see my point of view to don't you
When I finally had enough and left my Ex. She begged me to come back, played the victim and said alot of abhorrent things. After 5 days, she asked me to come and talk, i refused. About 2 weeks later with no contact, she asked me again to come over and talk. I go over to talk and she took no responsibility for her behaviour. She gaslighted and projected everything she had done onto me. What i thought was so funny and really sick and twisted, was hearing her say, "I guess 2 weeks of not speaking wasn't enough" which I took as her saying, " you haven't learned your place as my punching bag, so now you won't hear from me for a month." These people are absolutely wretched, vile, and evil. I have been no contact for just over 2 months . Been binge watching these videos, trying to make sense of it all. Thank you for making these videos, I don't think I would be doing so well without them.
Same situation bro did everything for this girl if I did anything wrong or small she would ignore me for weeks .. she is now even ignoring me on Christmas and my birthday I am done no one deserves to be treated this way no one she can rot in hell for all I care
My wife used the silent treatment as a cruel weapon for years. She caused me to feel like I did not exist. its a diabolical weapon. She used it to keep everything open and on the table all the time. Its exhaustive to experience. Definitely psychologically abusive. The tips you shared helped me to finally gain some semblance of control and to learn to set healthy boundaries for myself. I finally came to the conclusion you provided and realized I had to stop being a participant. It was hard, but I’m glad I finally stopped letting myself be abused by my wife. Its been a difficult journey to break free; however it is well worth it. 9 months and counting....I will get better and healthier. Michele, Thanks for sharing. You have helped me to finally seek to “Stay on the Road of Recovery.” 👍🏾😀
I thought I found love again and at age 63 I am going through this. After 4.5 years together he ghosted me for 10 days. Stayed at his house, completely ignored my calls texts and more or less shut his front door in my face. I was a mess, totally broken it was completely out of character for him. Of course it was my fault, i hurt his feelings and like a fool i apologised for something that HE done wrong, he got me.... we reconciled and I was so happy. 5 weeks later same thing again, literally asked if he could mop up water he dropped on a wooden floor, he lost his temper over nothing and left again. It's now been 3 weeks. I have not tried to contact him at all. Whilst I was at work he had the nerve to come and get all his stuff. He will not do it again...my heart is broken but he will never know, the silent treatment this time is returned...it's just mentally cruel as you have no clue as to what they are going to do or when or why. He is now sitting in a bar every night drinking. I just wasted precious years on this man and only now am I realising why his 3 children do not talk to him .I am staying single!!!
i lived in my bedroom in my own house to get away from the silent treatment and abuse for a year. im free three weeks. thank you. he made me emotionally and physically sick. once his mask came off i was so mad at him and myself. once i realized who he really is i couldn't go back to pretending he was a person. they are not people at least they are not the person you thought they were. mine was a shallow, lazy, mean, selfish, leech. he wanted me to do everything for him. he wanted my money, my house, my praise. he gave nothing and took everything. what a sick individual. i went from anger to pity to trying to fix it. you cannot fix them. they are broken. move on.
brave woman escaped how long did you stay??? Realize this, nobody has power over you unless you turn it over to them... Educate yourself on mind control as much as possible & you'll be able to slam an abuser before it slams you, this is a dog eat dog world, keep that in mind & unless your partner really cares & listens & helps you & go through the struggles with you; dump them!
I was constantly tricked into thinking my feelings and reactions were wrong. It is good not to react though to the games he played. He used silence abuse treatment and it hurt, just too lazy to share a bit of love every day, no resolutions to any issues. It would be good to be with a guy who can man up.
That's really important to understand that you are doing it for yourself, not the narc. by walking away. They get madder when you gain composure. Then, you know. They never wanted to talk. It's sad.
creator they never want to talk. They want nothing more but to disturb our peace & feed off our wasted energy. They want to see us confused@ our lowest & run down so they can laugh. When i cried Mine used say " you're my weakness", now i see why.
gloria valle .. me too. I rang to say Goodbye .. and kept walking. Was one of The Most Difficult Things I Have Ever Done. But I will Never Go Back. Some Things are Unforgivable.
I do as well, she f*#king hates it too. While I'm at it, I have done a lot of the things she did to me and she always went into a rage saying "stop paying me back!" with her eyes fire red and teeth clenched. She knew absolutely that she had done those things to me.
gloria valle 🤣, funny, but they are master punishers, game players, & manipulators. Best to blow them off & let them see you laugh & enjoy doing something without them!
Me too. My father has been doing this all my life and I’m 41. So I flipped the script. Called him out on something he said that was awful about me. So then after I confronted him I didn’t talk to him for 1 year. We live in same house too. He talks to my daughter tho.
Perfect Day Just read their body language and how much attention are they giving you.Are they listening to what you say and are they cutting you in between by talking to you a lot?Smirk=Red flag.Do they downplay your achievements.You should be treated as another human being.Do they gossip and talk bad a lot about others?More than anything else gut is enough.Do they talk a lot about themselves and try to show that they are greater than you?They look at you as if you are gold or diamond to them.
First of all, you must respect & love yourself enough to let go of the narcissist. Build bridges, set boundaries & eliminate them out your life permanently. I know it’s easier said than done but eventually in time you’ll get over the narcissist! #PatienceIsMajorKey 🔑
My first serious relationship was with a guy who'd go completely silent on me the moment we'd hit the highway for days-long trips. I was young and had no idea what was going on; I'd be a prisoner in the car, begging him to tell me what was wrong. He got a big kick out of it. He was a waste of ten years of my life. Now I realize that I was mimicking the relationship I had with my narcissistic mother.
My mother was and is a specialist in silent treatment. Growing up was a nightmare with her. She could get verbally very abusive, but it was her silence that hurt more.
That's right. Fuck apologizing to these monsters. It's too bad there isn't some sort of National Registry for narcissists so that they can be looked up by anyone, a potential lover, a friend or even an employer and then blackball them.
I like your focus on self-care, discipline, etc.. As you say, it's not about trying to manipulate or change the narcissist. I've gone no contact with narcissist relatives now, but they never changed. They would continue to flip between appeals to guilt, shame, pity or fear - including the silent treatment - even when they could see none of it worked. They had no other strategies.
yes, I like your focus on self care and discipline too. You're absolutely right it's not about manipulating or changing the narcissist but how you react to the narcissist tactics. And you do have to end the tactics at some point and you know when to dd so if they show you they have no intentIons to change. Wow this has been such an eye opener for me..........
Move through it. It is your lesson. Unfortunately have to deal with it and welcome it. It is a request for you to change. Don't worry I am going through the same. I start to get more into bible . Welcoming the pain. Move through it. Thank the abuser for the lesson. Because once you done it. You do not have to go through it again and realise the fucktard is the other person. They are not well.
So true! My ex gave me the silent treatment all the time often when I could not get his way. He was trying to control me. I left him alone. Then asked him to file for a divorce. I was done!
My ex husband and daughter's dad would do silent treatments. When I was married I did not understand what was going on. I would cry and beg. After while, I would take my keys and leave the house. He would try and block the door or hide my keys so I couldn't leave or be late for work. It was sad. I don't regret getting a divorce. When my daughter's dad did it like the 3rd time, I was like, "That's it! Pack your sh*t." He was like, "I'll do better and change." I shouldn't have gave in. We had more silent treatments, especially when I got promoted and he left while I was at work with my $600. Then I found out I was pregnant by him. My daughter is almost 2 now. I have no contact with him and take care of my daughter myself; child care expenses, food, her clothing, you name it.
I think the most important thing to understand about a narcissist is that under no circumstances can they be trusted. Then ask yourself “do I want to be with someone I can’t trust?”. If the answer to that question is no then the best solution is to gain the courage to make a change in your life rather than making a difference in theirs.
@@qasimhameed3988 I will not regret but my mother did to me in the way I am today because of it and the total denial that she is in now and I am having trap radically accept it and it's hard but I'm going do it it is a problem and serious and the horrible thing choose to ignore your child no matter what
Scapegoat son of a narc mother here. I went to a child psychologist when I was young; the school I attended wanted to know why a kid whose IQ reflected genius was doing so poorly in school. So my parents reluctantly took me, and after the session, the psychologist called my parents in and told them that my self-esteem was deficient and that I had a very deep distrust of women--did they know anything about this? He began to explain that I had issues, some of which they were contributing to. Though she remained silent, I could see the veins in my mother's neck start to bulge as her eyes tightened, her jaw firmly clenched. He recommended that I begin therapy, and said that he felt that my grades would improve if they consented. This brought forth the only word that my mother would speak the entire time: "No." Without another word, we got up and went home. She didn't speak to me for two months. I was 11. Happy Valentine's Day to all who suffer in silence. And for the advice, the insight, the inspiration, and the love; thank you, Michelle. Happy Valentine's Day.
Zigzag Streaks Two months! Im so o sorry someone did that to you, I was in a narcissistic relationship and the silent treatment was brutal emotional torture, God bless you I pray healing in your life
I feel for you. Mother’s can ruin their son’s lives. I just ended an almost 7 year relationship with a covert narc, scapegoat son who had to care for his mother since age 11. Never married, no kids just future faking. I really believe he hated woman. Been in no contact 3 months.
He used silent treatment on me. And i told him: Silent treatment doesnt work on me because I just leave. Then he gave me an engagement ring...I guess it was his way of making me stay; since he didnt want me to leave yet. He stopped using silent trestment on me. Then I used the silent treatment on him for 2 weeks because I was tired of his emotional abuse so I texted him and unmasked him. I told him I cant be in a relationship with a Narcissist. It's over!!! Until now 3 months. *No more for me. He never knew how to conversate...he'd talk talk and talk. All about him and his needs...Too toxic for me. Im in peace now; thank GOD!!!
Mine would silent treat me and id find myself talking and talking...its never an issue when im talking about my flaws but once we get to her silent treatment then i find myself breaking the ice smh
This is the BEST video! Michelle. You nailed it. If you are watching these videos its apparent you are aware there its a problem with someone in your life...This video its the one that will make you realize ...WOW...this shit is real..super spot on play by play...thanks for being so.. you! you are awesome! And. For sharing your experience..You are a absolute precious blessing in my life...I want you to know that I truly appreciate what you are doing! Thank you!
Mine always went straight from love bombing to the silent treatment, no dispute needed. I would understand it more after a fight, but not after being on great terms.
Cherry van Holland i feel you... Same here... Then if you try to contact to find out what's wrong, then that gives them an excuse to extend your punishment. Then you wonder if it's permanent this time. It usually isn't.
Philip A. Reilly The last thing he said to me was that he is going to sue me, cause I’m obsessed with him. But he called me like 10 times a day and I ignored it. Responded after a couple of days that I have evidence that he cheated on his girlfriend again. I told him that I’m not obsessed, but that I think that he’s a heartless, soulless egomaniac. He didn’t respond anymore, but ever since his mother, his girlfriend and the girl I knew he cheated with on his girlfriend that day are following my every step on instagram.
mine too! after a great day together, silence and ignoring me. when i being it up he says i am being unreasonable to need contact every day. yet if i do that, no contact for a a few hours he calls and texts relentlessly
I recall when I was little that my dad was always reading the newspaper. Sometimes I needed something for school, and what not. I would go up and ask him. He would not even put the paper down. He would not answer, or move a muscle. I remember not knowing what to do, if to stay there and continue waiting for an answer, or to leave knowing that I would not get what I needed for school next day. Next time I needed something, it was the same thing, I already knew what was going to happen but I still went anyways. Needless to say, I suffer from tremendous social anxiety and I am afraid to even ask people for directions. I would much rather always attempt to do things completely on my own than to ask for help. This has lead me to tremendous stress and work addiction. Needless to say my relationships all suffer from it.
I loved the silent treatment compared to her cutting me down...and putting others on god level pedestals for doing the exact same things that i liked to do.
This video is exactly what I needed. So my x fiance has ignored me for a month this time ... then randomly calls me today. Saying he wants to see me and he loves me. 2 hours later I text him back. Telling him it was ok and to leave it alone. Then he called me 30 times ... I am not kidding. I blocked him. A few hours later I text him stating my boundaries. I told him I will not allow him to go in and out of my life like he always does anymore. (It's a waste of time) I told him I will no longer be disrespected. I will not tolerate his behavior. I told him we are walking on 2 different paths. He said he wanted to talk 🤣😄😃 I told him he has shown me his capacity over the past two an a half years of how he can change and I have nothing to talk about. Then he said he never wants to talk to me again...lol 😁 what happened to the I miss you I want to see you I love you .... Let's talk. He never takes accountability for his behavior. He never says sorry. And above all he never never changes. Again he showed me he does not want to change! So I will not be jumping back on the hamster wheel ... lol. I am so happy. Thank you for educating me! I no longer want to be with someone who only wants to harm me and use me.
In my experience setting boundaries, such as temporarily leaving in the face of the silent treatment, anger or other abusive behavior, never works with a true narcissist. When you return they will be the same, probably worse. They don’t respond to positive or negative reinforcement because they honestly believe that they are always right in their conduct, and you are to blame for anything that they may have done wrong. So they will always behave as they see fit. There is only one solution - leave them for good. Put them behind you and live a fulfilling life with positive healthy people who like you and appreciate you rather than undermine you and take you for granted. Remember, deep down the narcissist does not like you!!! It seems crazy because they may very much want a relationship with you - but that is just for their own validation to have you look up to them....IN TRUTH THEY DO NOT LIKE YOU!!! Remember that, I cannot say that enough. Leave them!!
1. I did apologize 😐 he is in rage over something I never did! I'm dead to him, he simply doesn't care about me anymore! 2. I cried, I chased- he didn't stop me, I was helpless, I shouted at him, cried, angry and upset - he saw all of this and rejoiced , he has satisfied his sadistic ego and his revenge is complete! 3. Yes I couldn't get over him, I feel bad, I couldn't get him out of my head! He created an illusion that he is the world to me and that I couldn't live without him! 4. Yes I'm being emotionally assaulted all the time, he is pure emotional manipulator, emotional abuser! 5. He ended silent treatment then he started blaming everything on me, twisted my own words against me, using my own words against me, making me take responsibility for everything that's gone wrong! 6. My time and health is gone! I wasted my life and emotional energy on a psychopath! His abuse broke me down completely! I'm physically mentally emotionally sick , got severe depression, PTSD, caught an autoimmune disorder by suffering too long!
My spouse didn't talk to me for 2 years. This is an ongoing problem 35 years worth of garbage. Finally finally thank you for your videos, I no longer feel any connection to the narcissist.
Fantastic video Michele....where were you for 20 yrs of my marriage....(probably 1o years in reality). I wish I had known then what I know now. Thank you so much for the vindication. 💚 Jen
My teenage granddaughter does this to me all the time. Now it’s been 4 months. She has been thru trauma as her mother is a narcissist but my heart is breaking. I was the one that too such good care of her
A narcissist does not care if you loved them or looked after them, they actually see that as your weakness. You will have to walk away from your granddaughter or live with pain and heartbreak for the rest of the time you spend with her. Your choice.
@@obscurum6 my counselor is talking to me this week about how I need to be if she ever comes back around. I am such a mess. I never thought this would happen but she is hurting me on purpose. I was discarded like old trash.
@@jennaletizia5430 relinquish control of the outcome. Write you lamentations in a journal, as prayers to God, which means giving words to your pain. Sin entered the world and brought chaos. “Ain’t nobody do you wrong like family.” Find your peace in the Bible, Bible promises, and the person of Jesus Christ, even if you loose every person and everything else. Peace can only be found in this. Leave off all expectations of how God should handle them, and be patient, trust His timing, and humble yourself before Christ, and He will exalt you in due time. Worry is over-concern and it will not change things. Look at these in the Bible, and all their persecutions, and how God fought for them: Joseph, David, Daniel, and JESUS. We suffer for righteousness. This is about her issues, and not you, it sounds like. Distance yourself in this way. Praise the Lord daily. Get in The Psalms. Claim His promises!!!
He thought he was giving me the silent treatments, but he didn't know I was done. We haven't spoken since, and it's been 5 years. Of course he attempted to Hoover me, but he's on strict no contact. I wish I would have done it sooner. F him!
Social media has made narcissism worse. Some of my former friends on social media have ignored me all together. I didn't piss them off or anything. At first it sucks...then I deleted their contact information. This actually worked for me.
The silent treatment from them is to make us feel like we are dead !! Cherish it and get them out of your head !! Then the next day wrestle back the remote control . and guess what your wrestle back control of !!! Yep your life !!! And guess what they do !! Yep run and start to pack then order you to help them pack. !! The only thing i could do was stop and start to laugh ! Thanks
OMG if I was going to ask "Are u ready to talk about what's bothering you" I'd be asking almost everyday I get the silent treatment. if I even say he seems mad about something he says "Actually I'm not and now I'm going to get mad for you saying I'm mad when I'm not" LoL
I’ve def heard this! He’s said this from the beginning. I am just starting to learn about this and I’m so confused!!! Thanks for your comment. Helps to hear the exact words.
C Fab OMG!!! Same exact thing my ex did all the damn time! I could not even assume let alone ask because I would get attacked and told off right from the bat! Smh!
Is crazy man I'll tell you adult with this guy off and on for two years well little over. It was always on his terms everything was he would always break up with me and would ignore me for 2 weeks or 3 weeks at a time be messing with other girls in then when he couldn't afford a prostitute then he would call me and stop ignoring me. I would stay the night at his house and find pictures of other girls in his phone that he got off of Facebook but he didn't even know just pictures of girls random chicks I think he used them to jack off to honestly. Call me when I going through his phone looking at the pictures he had one picture of me in there and he broke all of my shit choke me and threw me out at 2 in the morning. He was Notorious for kicking me out in the late morning hours with nowhere to go and no car to get anywhere
I'm at the point we're I don't care if a nar is giving me the silent treatment. The only time I want to deal with narc is face to face. I grew up with a narc and had to deal with at least 7 narc in my life. I do not care if they are silent with me. Ever since I have had min time with these people my life has been happier. The best thing to do is keep them at arms reach all they do is cause trouble and drama and I'm getting older and have a family now. Who has time for that headache
Suggesting to talk to them is a huge no-no. They take that as, "I won, I got them, I got them upset"...then when you do talk to them; they play dumb and smirk; then say, "you have a problem", "you are too emotional"...they gaslight. Then make their silent treatment YOUR imagination. IGNORE THEM....get busy doing something; shopping, visit friends, hobby, turn on your music, take a long bath, talk on the phone with friends, watch television (something funny) ect....most importantly ---- SECRETLY MAKE PLANS TO LEAVE AND NEVER RETURN. NO CONTACT!!
My sister is a narcissist. Our mother died last year and she has broken off all ties with me. I am heartbroken as I have no next of kin and no real family left alive. Horrible to realize you habe no family.
Out of nowhere ny ex Narc accused me of cheating when I was 7 months pregnant....yes 7 months pregnant. He gave the silent treatment for 2 weeks. 2 weeks whilst I was heavily preg was like hell. In the end i told my Father who called him and told him to stop and grow up.
I always leave when I get the silent treatment but it really bothers me. However it’s been incredibly challenging to keep any focus on my tasks. I can’t seem to overcome this losing focus. My narcissist has no plan to change - his mother is the same; passive aggressive and uses the same tactics of accusing, instigating, silent treatment. There’s no use - they can’t self regulate. They act as if it’s normal but it’s the furthest thing from being normal.
I appreciate your tips and suggestions to level the playing field and neutralize unprovoked episodes of hostility or rage. Sometimes I'm like OMG what am I dealing with as I know I haven't said or done something that would create a response like that in a non disordered person.
I have suffered with a person who gave me the silent treatment . I have lived with this treatment as a punishment , it hurts me when people continue to do this care less act to one another . A heart was meant to love and be loved .
Thank you....your know has helped me with the process. Wow...what a Wake Up call! Thank you for pinpointing the abuse. They like you to be confused about everything and not to know what they are thinking or doing.
Not so much to Control the Person but rather itrying to figure out whether they still Love you the same way enough to stay in the relatio ship or rather do they want to Leave you For a New supply thats all . BECAUSE the mask usually starts falling off all the Way when they have Tested the New supplier and they replace you with them becouse the New supplier are fresh into the relationship and Bow down to thier attention Machinizism, To the Perpatrator these people don't Love whosomely that's the bottom Line , Love Youreself and stop trying to figure tjem out .The silent Treatment means they have thier Heart on Some other Tactic there for stop Preying I to these Predator's they are Animals witj no remorse that's it .
The narc i dealt with would get upset when I mirrored his silent treatment. He would call his family members and friends and talk about me like I wasnt there and get on social media and socially abuse me. The day he checked himself into a hotel for a weekend to get a reaction out of me I planned my exit to move back home 16hrs away from the grown boy ✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾😜💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿
You should always remember and make it clear that you are your own master and are free to leave at any time. People who don't appreciate you get really lazy over time and just assume you'll never pull away for good no matter how bad they treat you and how often they reoffend.
I needed to hear this. He puts restrictions on me a lot. He turns phn off, then gets mad if I dont txt straight away, hes hypocritical to the core. Plays games to make me insecure, or jealous. Its exhausting. Thanku for this clear plan.
pls help... I am 31 yrs old, i loved a girl for 8 yrs she never talked to me, i did whatever i can just to talk to her, one of my friend called it is one-side love but i did not believe him, i asked myself why can some fake the love for so many years so i stopped discussing with my fnds, people ask me when i am getting married but i am unable to forget her face, but she knows that i love her, what i have to do ? is she a devil with a beautiful face and if so what is her fate ? she only attracts me with beautiful face, now i came to know that there some thing known as narcissism.
Those who've suffered so immensely from family narc abuse, and later partner narc abuse because we often attract them, could be accused of giving the silent treatment when we are forced to go no contact. We stop communicating with them when we see the futility of giving sincere explanations only to have our heartfelt expression of feelings twisted and taken as narc supply. I cringe at the thought of the truly malignant NPD family member viewing or reading that silence is an indication of narcissism (not that it isn't, yet it isn't always) and using my silence as another weapon in their smear campaign arsenal. I wish you, someone, or many would address this and bring to light the need for silence while in no contact mode. It takes a lot to get to the point of having to go no contact. It takes wisdom and courage. It is essential for those with cptsd.
Your discourse is superb! You've got it down to a T. I am going to empower myself. We don't live together. He provides some services as I am mobility challenged. I shall stay calm. I no longer beat myself up over this boy/man and ask myself why he is the way he is. He does not follow boundaries n twists everything. I will conduct myself accordingly! Thnx so much...I subscribed to your channel. I lived 18 yrs with him .....Yes my health went downhill
Parental Alienation is the worst form of the silence treatment. It is child abuse in addition to abuse of the targeted parent. Long term prognosis for the child who is being used as a pawn is dismal.
If you confront a narcissist with anger and then they use silent treatment, even if you apologize for you raising your voice not for what was said, how do you break that?
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THEY LIKE TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE ITS YOUR FAULT WHEN ITS THEIRS
True
It Sucks
Yes make like it's your fault that the mother in law did not take an ariplane to see her son and it's my fault and my kids too.
Exactly-he’s so deluded
ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!!!
I've learned that the best way to handle silent treatment is to give the silent treatment back! I can hold out longer, and rather enjoy the peace and quiet! Works every time!
Until you deal with someone who never wants to hear from you again. Then it's game over.
Same here.
@Patriot Jefferson "its not a woman job to chase a man" wow just wow
yea, before it used to just tear me up inside. now when it happens i'm like ☺🎉
@Patriot Jefferson It's not the man's job to chase you. Another lie women are socially conditioned to believe. You can chas and talk to men just as easily! Stop making excuses.
I’ve visibly aged and I’m losing my hair with the stress of the last 18 months in this mindfck. It’s soul destroying. I want the old me back. 😞
I know how you feel over half of my hair fell out the last hurtful thing he did was take off with our son and cut contact with me i got our son back but it was hell still is because he can still contact me but i respond as little as possible
I've been there, it sucks. My hair was so beautiful, too. Now it's finally starting to grow back, but jeezus, that was some awful shit. Get away from frustration- that's the only thing that will make it better. Find people that validate you and make you feel good about yourself. I know that everyone says that, but it's so true. Find some people to worship your glorious self, and do the same to them in return!
Boo bear x Hugs and take care. You can do it !
Boo bear: me too.
Me too! Hair loss and aged visibly :(
The silent treatment hurts worse than actually getting physically hit.
PLEASE be aware..."NO CONTACT" is very different than giving "the silent treatment"! Those of us that have been the victim of narcissistic abuse (and have tried everything to survive it) go "no-contact" to maintain our sanity (as a last resort). But instead of becoming introspective by realizing how horrible theyve treated you, the narcissists often retaliate by saying you are mean by giving them "the silent treatment".
The silent treatment makes me want to physically punch them in the face. I hate manipulative childish people 😤
@@sarahdouglas5851 so very true !! Well said
@@sarahdouglas5851 I get home from work late after my husband goes to bed and I leave before he gets up that’s how I deal with it🙏 And I pray a lot
@@sarahdouglas5851when does the silent treatment become no contact?? My father was the complete narc in our family but my sister is pinning the blame all on my mother for all the drama. I went no contact with my father 5 years ago but my sister has remained in contact with him. My sister went silent treatment or no contact on me and my mother 2 years ago and I don’t know why.
Step 1 leave and never return... No additional steps necessary 😐🙄
Its not so easy all the time
Exactly!
@@brands_eyman3715 or maybe you really are weak and worthless. Save the excuses
@@stroNg2thaBoNe2thaMax im not making excuses and im not weak and also i said it not easy but ik its not impossible
@@brands_eyman3715 I wasn't calling YOU weak and worthless, I was generally speaking. The one's who make excuses for staying in abusive relationships have already been conditioned to think this way by their abuser. Just because it isn't easy doesn't justify the continuance of staying in an unhealthy relationship. It is selfish in a way because not only are you being abusive to yourself by staying, you're being abusive to the children who are involved as well as the friends and family that have to deal with the aftermath of it. You might as well be the abuser if you stay in an abusive relationship because you are partaking in your own abuse.
Wish I’d seen this before I’ve apologized for all the stupid things I’ve been accused of 🤦🏻♀️
Don't worry sis, I did the same and looking back at what I apologised for I feel stupid but I went quite and never speak to her unless its about my daughter, that upsets her, I can tell because of the bunch of screenshots of her posts on Facebook that one of her friends sends me. They are hurting more than us, their ego is bruised and they never thought we would see through them and leave them.
i feel you girl, i just did the same.
Same
I'm so sorry about that...
@@mitullala8857 I’m done apologizing to her. Now I tell her exactly what she is, a disordered abuser.
Not only did I endure the silent treatment, I was made to feel totally invisible. The man I loved would act as if I did not exist. It was not only terribly hurtful but maddening. He took great pleasure in destroying my self-esteem and sense of worth. You cannot fix a narcissist. Removing yourself from the relationship really is the best solution.
Jo Yepma .. ❤️
This is what I am going through :(
Jo Yepma z
He's in a relationship with my mum, she plays into his behaviour by keeping us away from each other, but it means I don't see her too often. What about that?
I'm so sorry
Silent treatment is passive aggressive my ex was a covert narc taught me so much xx Walk away! Love yourself!! they only want attention!!!! It's what they did not get as a child!! They had poor parents, Not your fault!!!
Amen. It isn't your fault. You can't fix them either. They were broken long before they met you.
I am dealing with one at the moment everything in this video is exactly how he's treated me and still does on the beginning constantly calling texting engaging made me believe I was the one them as soon as he knew I liked hm a lot he pulled away and cancels dates at the last minute without consideration about how I fe then says I don't think about anyone but myself when he's the one who cancels!
G-d give me strength to walk away.
@@elliejudah7375 You and everybody else on this thread deserve *so much better,* and to be around other happy, exciting people who love to learn and enjoy life!
Amen to that!
@@elliejudah7375 you two still together ?
My ex wife gave me the silent treatment, first 3-4 weeks. Then I became used to it, she didn’t talk to me for about 6 months and I began to feel really comfortable with it. When she finally talked to me I couldn’t help tinkling “I preferred when you didn’t talk to me”.
wow.. how are you now? how's your relationship? I just got out of a long term relationship because I couldn't stand it anymore
Katherine P I’m feeling much better now. I’m rebuilding my self confidence and re-connecting with my true self. How are you?
😂😂😂😂 I like that
LOL Love this.
@@franciscoramirezespanagarc7974 lol
My mother used the silent treatment my whole life. Even at event would give everyone a hug but pretend i wasn't even there. I absolutely had enough and went no contact with my whole family a couple of yrs ago. Not going to be the family garbage can. I am finally living in peace and not in pieces!!!
Pamela Gage 🤗
Using the silent treatment on a child is the cruelest thing. I had this happen to me and it was horrible because a child can't escape it :(( and feels like their whole world will end when the caregivers affections are totally taken away and you don't know when they'll talk to you next. :(
To avoid circular conversations do not "JADE" justify, apologize, defend or explain. Let your yes be yes and your no be no!
Thank you Kimberly, going to always remember and do this.
" they are erasing time from your life" I totally agree
Wise words!
A boyfriend I lived with years ago used to give me the silent treatment. I would pull up a chair, get my sketch pad and draw him. I still have the sketches. He looks so pissed off.
Lmao
Thats hilarious 😂
Love this 😂😂🙌
🤣🤣🤣🤣thanks for who created the UA-cam...so I could read another world people comments this way
😂😂😂😂
How to deal with a Narcissist: Step 1: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THEM!!
Step 2 & 3: Repeat step 1!!
They’re NOT worth the energy!!
E
One powerball😅
I end relationship every time a partner gives me the silent treatment.
It just means, that they can't cope with their faults, and are not willing to accept their mistakes.
This is the most that they are going to try in the relationship if everything doesn't work out, which is giving the silent treatment.
So i just end it right then and there, you wouldn't want to spend the rest of your life with a person who is not willing to admit their fault.
I don't take any bull shit, if it's my fault, i will gladly apologize and move on, but when it's your fault, i expect you to admit your mistake and apologize as well.
Simple as that.
Exactly they give silent treatment instead of apologize.
Yep! Silent treatment = bye... Permanent silence... Ba bye!
i just ended up mine and blocking him forever.
I think this is the best and most empowering answer.
Question;
What do you do when it is a friend or a family member doing it? Do you also end those connections?
And also, how do you go about the not so obvious silent treatment, but for example one where they delay answering your text for a longer time...
When you call them out on it, they will deny and say they were busy with work or another lame excuse that you know isn't true.
@@dannymeyer3256 my husband told me he wanted to effing kill me the other day he has never said anything like that when they break their silence they let their true feelings out! So every time he gives me the silent treatment I know what he’s thinking now!! They really are just miserable people
Look on the bright side: As long as they are being silent you get to speak freely and uninterrupted!
So true
Yup, silent treatment now, no response to any texts or phone calls. However, let's face it, she's doing me a favour, right? Time to move on. She's ruined...
This is my covert narc husband's tactic. I have learned to use that time to regroup and relax. He can do this for weeks. Only been married for 3 years. Dated for 2 years. His mask fell off pretty quick after we married. I could have never believed he is this soulless monster.
Christine Miller they fall so fast after the wedding.
I wonder why
Emily Wheeler I'll check into this
You need to leave him before it gets worse!
Being dicarded from a toxic relationship is a great feeling where I feel being free...
yeah I'm still single because bullying Our Baby is easier than Babying me and still a virgin. I got more years on the oldest virgin. Stem cell research! who knew I could clone myself and still feel like killing myself is better than saving the same narcissistic oil titty sucky sucky nomy nomy you idiots are KILLING MOMMY with this disgusting addiction to fossil fuel. OIL IS WHAT GROWS YOUR FOOD OIL is BLOOD of my dying planet. would y'all mommies do me a favor, tuck me in tonight, love me because i allow humanity the freedom to choose. ya it is me who saves humanity. my job sucks. I get to go thru the worst of abuse just to save the same people who blatantly TORTURE me. y'all needs to let go the past too sorry I cannot sweep myself or my ever last permanently fucked brain under the agenda carpet. I will not just go awaY. YOU CITIZENS OWE ME HUGE
Living alone is GREAT!!! I DO WHAT I WANT!! I don't need or want anyone in my life to mess up what I have.
Me tooo yehhhhhh
I married the best partner..... me!
I LOVE my own company. nothing wrong with that!
GOOD LUCK NORMAL PEOPLE!! 😊💕💞
I like my own company..
Are you free tonight ?
00
This is a good suggestion. The silent treatment, if it is repeated and chronic can be just one small symptom of the much larger problem of a narcissistic personality disordered individual that has overall disregard for you as a person. Emotional abuse is as much of a reason to leave as physical abuse.
I love the silent treatment its peaceful no drama no lies no accusations no being screamed at no confusions no being laughed at I love his silence wish it would last for a life time
This sounds like they are emotionally blackmailing you and sulking like a toddler
They are.
They even get mad at you ,when you respond to any negative remark or thing they do to you! Everytime. It's complete insane control!
That’s gaslighting. Go “grey rock”technique!!
So, the short answer is to get out. My ex would have spent the two hours watching porn only to say he wanted to break up when I got back. That was his joker card in any dispute which put me into immediate try to save the relationship because I didn't want to end over something "so small" (now I know it was imaginary or an emotional reaction purposely provoked in me). I used to be terrified to lose him, lol. The irony is life is so much better with him gone.
sysmjp3 i think they're all into heavy porn & most of them carry venereal diseases & infect others & that's a given. It's one think to have been contaminated with a venereal disease but to know having it & infect someone else is a total different ballgame.
sysmjp3 u aint neva lied😁 life is great WITHOUT that fuckwit.
sysmjp3 this lady is very insightful, Keep watching & learning
sysmjp3 my husband too
Christina Garcia hopefully this well help you make better choices in life. . evil is real!... I test people out especially when they come over my house I put them on probation for about 3 months & I always give them something that belonged to me... If they fk up probation I'll call the cops & say they stole it! I'll set up a mthrfkr quick & mean it!.. Broke my heart to see my friends daughter involved with this guy. She was buying him expensive clothing with the money she earned & he'd take it. He didn't care she had a son even though not his. I dime her because she neglected her son. The guy always threaten to leave her when he wanted something. Her father & i went to her house & she barely had food & the house in shambles; I said FK. THIS SHIT! I called on her crazy az her son was just a little boy & all because the guy was popular & really good looking with a sports car; a jigalo. When girls are in their early teens & even as early as ten they should be warned to keep their eyes open for these type of guys for they're nothing but opportunists & heart breakers. I'm very happy that my girls none are stupid, I taught them well just can't fk with women like them.
Take suggestions, think of yourself before you think of anyone & that means, that by doing this you will be more happy & peaceful. I can't see why women mourn so much for the person they say love when they don't have a clue of their purpose in life???
Take care
So true....we do teach people how to treat us, by what we allow, what we stop and what we reenforce. Took me a long time to figure this one out... And the narc is not going to be happy about any of this, because it stifles their control. But.... in the end if you are not able to make their life better/ sweeter for them and they are not able to do the same for you.........it is time to call the whole thing Off. It isn't worth your health or the wasted years.
A Guy And A Dog right on!
So very true.t
I started doing the same thing with him. The "Silent Treatment"! Every time he walked out of my house not his I locked the door behind him! I don't talk to him I don't stopped what I am doing for him. I did this for two years and he finally filed for divorced. And I comply without a blink of an eye! He went so far of bringing his 3rd party situation to our divorced proceedings! I ignored them both? 😅 Then on the same day after we both signed our divorced papers. He purposely bumbs into me and asked me if I'm OK! I ignored him again and acted as he wasn't even there in the same space! The abuse physically/emotionally was crazy! I thought I was going to lose my life. Done with him!
Good for you, sister! Stay Strong!
Your so right! I’m just coming out of this twilight zone mess myself. You have to NEVER!!!!!! look back with these devils, I meen people
I have been with my Narc for 10 long agonizing years!! Im finally ready to get off the crazy train... He has cheated verbally abused me physically abused me makes me think im going crazy disappear for weeks at a time.. I have decided im going to die if i stay with this EVIL MAN I have gone no contact i know its a matter of time before he stalks me again i just pray i have the strength to run and never look back!!
Thank the Lord you are ok..
I really wish I could be that strong mentally, I know my narc boyfriend is the same way. I know he would purposely do many things to hurt me if we separated. We work in the same industry!!! There is no way out!!! I just have to get by day by day.😢
Now I know who this person is I’ve switched off. His silence means nothing, I have the upper hand because I understand he’s crazy!
I was ignored for 7 years my whole marriage I've never been through anything like it she was slowly killing me my health was depleting so it's rough I feel for anyone that has to deal with one
the silent treatment hurts a LOT
@@iniubongnkanga9390 idk of I'm a narcissistic but I do give people silent treatment only because they ahve hurtled me since iam dealing with one now it went that far that I even slef harmed you see my point of view to don't you
The narc knows it too
Alot...
Leave... Now he gets silence... Forever!
When I finally had enough and left my Ex. She begged me to come back, played the victim and said alot of abhorrent things. After 5 days, she asked me to come and talk, i refused. About 2 weeks later with no contact, she asked me again to come over and talk. I go over to talk and she took no responsibility for her behaviour. She gaslighted and projected everything she had done onto me. What i thought was so funny and really sick and twisted, was hearing her say, "I guess 2 weeks of not speaking wasn't enough" which I took as her saying, " you haven't learned your place as my punching bag, so now you won't hear from me for a month." These people are absolutely wretched, vile, and evil. I have been no contact for just over 2 months . Been binge watching these videos, trying to make sense of it all. Thank you for making these videos, I don't think I would be doing so well without them.
me too these videos help a lot
Same here,it's horrible&cruel,hope all's going well now for you :-)
Same situation bro did everything for this girl if I did anything wrong or small she would ignore me for weeks .. she is now even ignoring me on Christmas and my birthday I am done no one deserves to be treated this way no one she can rot in hell for all I care
what a great human being that wouod do this to someone who loved them..sick people
hurt your mother it makes you seem so adult not
BUT THEY DO NOT LOVE ANYONE BUT THEMSELVES,THEIR FALSE SELVES,DONT YOU KNOW?
My wife used the silent treatment as a cruel weapon for years. She caused me to feel like I did not exist. its a diabolical weapon. She used it to keep everything open and on the table all the time. Its exhaustive to experience.
Definitely psychologically abusive.
The tips you shared helped me to finally gain some semblance of control and to learn to set healthy boundaries for myself. I finally came to the conclusion you provided and realized I had to stop being a participant.
It was hard, but I’m glad I finally stopped letting myself be abused by my wife. Its been a difficult journey to break free; however it is well worth it.
9 months and counting....I will get better and healthier.
Michele, Thanks for sharing. You have helped me to finally seek to “Stay on the Road of Recovery.”
👍🏾😀
I thought I found love again and at age 63 I am going through this. After 4.5 years together he ghosted me for 10 days. Stayed at his house, completely ignored my calls texts and more or less shut his front door in my face. I was a mess, totally broken it was completely out of character for him. Of course it was my fault, i hurt his feelings and like a fool i apologised for something that HE done wrong, he got me.... we reconciled and I was so happy. 5 weeks later same thing again, literally asked if he could mop up water he dropped on a wooden floor, he lost his temper over nothing and left again. It's now been 3 weeks. I have not tried to contact him at all. Whilst I was at work he had the nerve to come and get all his stuff. He will not do it again...my heart is broken but he will never know, the silent treatment this time is returned...it's just mentally cruel as you have no clue as to what they are going to do or when or why. He is now sitting in a bar every night drinking. I just wasted precious years on this man and only now am I realising why his 3 children do not talk to him .I am staying single!!!
That's why if my Husband passes away I'm done with men for good
i lived in my bedroom in my own house to get away from the silent treatment and abuse for a year. im free three weeks. thank you. he made me emotionally and physically sick. once his mask came off i was so mad at him and myself. once i realized who he really is i couldn't go back to pretending he was a person. they are not people at least they are not the person you thought they were. mine was a shallow, lazy, mean, selfish, leech. he wanted me to do everything for him. he wanted my money, my house, my praise. he gave nothing and took everything. what a sick individual. i went from anger to pity to trying to fix it. you cannot fix them. they are broken. move on.
brave woman escaped nnnnnn n nn
brave woman escaped mmmmmmmnn
brave woman escaped how long did you stay??? Realize this, nobody has power over you unless you turn it over to them... Educate yourself on mind control as much as possible & you'll be able to slam an abuser before it slams you, this is a dog eat dog world, keep that in mind & unless your partner really cares & listens & helps you & go through the struggles with you; dump them!
Gillian Richards what's your fkng problem???
brave woman escaped m
I was constantly tricked into thinking my feelings and reactions were wrong. It is good not to react though to the games he played. He used silence abuse treatment and it hurt, just too lazy to share a bit of love every day, no resolutions to any issues. It would be good to be with a guy who can man up.
That's really important to understand that you are doing it for yourself, not the narc. by walking away. They get madder when you gain composure. Then, you know. They never wanted to talk. It's sad.
creator they never want to talk. They want nothing more but to disturb our peace & feed off our wasted energy. They want to see us confused@ our lowest & run down so they can laugh. When i cried Mine used say " you're my weakness", now i see why.
I do the silent treatment to the narcisist
gloria valle .. me too.
I rang to say Goodbye .. and kept walking. Was one of The Most Difficult Things I Have Ever Done. But I will Never Go Back. Some Things are Unforgivable.
so do I, it's pointless to engage with a narcissist
I do as well, she f*#king hates it too. While I'm at it, I have done a lot of the things she did to me and she always went into a rage saying "stop paying me back!" with her eyes fire red and teeth clenched. She knew absolutely that she had done those things to me.
gloria valle 🤣, funny, but they are master punishers, game players, & manipulators. Best to blow them off & let them see you laugh & enjoy doing something without them!
Me too. My father has been doing this all my life and I’m 41. So I flipped the script. Called him out on something he said that was awful about me. So then after I confronted him I didn’t talk to him for 1 year. We live in same house too. He talks to my daughter tho.
yeah the silent treatment is real ....and horrible
It is very
wat tis once we've reached insight it's time to turn to the next chapter of our lives.
When you first meet someone you'll be able to spot them if you pay attention to their words. I test people all the time.
Would you be willing to share what you look for? Some people I can spot right away but others, it takes me awhile.
Perfect Day .. Just tell them No !!
Hindsight for me, but now I know how to avoid any future narc
Perfect Day Just read their body language and how much attention are they giving you.Are they listening to what you say and are they cutting you in between by talking to you a lot?Smirk=Red flag.Do they downplay your achievements.You should be treated as another human being.Do they gossip and talk bad a lot about others?More than anything else gut is enough.Do they talk a lot about themselves and try to show that they are greater than you?They look at you as if you are gold or diamond to them.
First of all, you must respect & love yourself enough to let go of the narcissist. Build bridges, set boundaries & eliminate them out your life permanently.
I know it’s easier said than done but eventually in time you’ll get over the narcissist!
#PatienceIsMajorKey 🔑
My first serious relationship was with a guy who'd go completely silent on me the moment we'd hit the highway for days-long trips. I was young and had no idea what was going on; I'd be a prisoner in the car, begging him to tell me what was wrong. He got a big kick out of it. He was a waste of ten years of my life. Now I realize that I was mimicking the relationship I had with my narcissistic mother.
My mother was and is a specialist in silent treatment. Growing up was a nightmare with her. She could get verbally very abusive, but it was her silence that hurt more.
One has to be mentally strong dealing with a narc.
Yup, do NOT apologize. I felt compelled to apologize for her outrageous lies. Never felt so low in my life...
That's right. Fuck apologizing to these monsters. It's too bad there isn't some sort of National Registry for narcissists so that they can be looked up by anyone, a potential lover, a friend or even an employer and then blackball them.
I like your focus on self-care, discipline, etc.. As you say, it's not about trying to manipulate or change the narcissist. I've gone no contact with narcissist relatives now, but they never changed. They would continue to flip between appeals to guilt, shame, pity or fear - including the silent treatment - even when they could see none of it worked. They had no other strategies.
TheraminTrees o
yes, I like your focus on self care and discipline too. You're absolutely right it's not about manipulating or changing the narcissist but how you react to the narcissist tactics. And you do have to end the tactics at some point and you know when to dd so if they show you they have no intentIons to change.
Wow this has been such an eye opener for me..........
All this silent treatment has killed my self esteem and I don't know how to repair it
aline simon You need to realise that we all have great potential and individuality, and start building your truths and your boundaries :))
Don't allow a broken person to define who you are!
Move through it. It is your lesson. Unfortunately have to deal with it and welcome it. It is a request for you to change. Don't worry I am going through the same. I start to get more into bible . Welcoming the pain. Move through it. Thank the abuser for the lesson. Because once you done it. You do not have to go through it again and realise the fucktard is the other person. They are not well.
So true! My ex gave me the silent treatment all the time often when I could not get his way. He was trying to control me. I left him alone. Then asked him to file for a divorce. I was done!
My ex husband and daughter's dad would do silent treatments. When I was married I did not understand what was going on. I would cry and beg. After while, I would take my keys and leave the house. He would try and block the door or hide my keys so I couldn't leave or be late for work. It was sad. I don't regret getting a divorce. When my daughter's dad did it like the 3rd time, I was like, "That's it! Pack your sh*t." He was like, "I'll do better and change." I shouldn't have gave in. We had more silent treatments, especially when I got promoted and he left while I was at work with my $600. Then I found out I was pregnant by him. My daughter is almost 2 now. I have no contact with him and take care of my daughter myself; child care expenses, food, her clothing, you name it.
I think the most important thing to understand about a narcissist is that under no circumstances can they be trusted. Then ask yourself “do I want to be with someone I can’t trust?”. If the answer to that question is no then the best solution is to gain the courage to make a change in your life rather than making a difference in theirs.
if only I knew the pain and horror she would bring my life I would of kept on walking, started out like a fairytale, ended like a horror movie.
My mother did this to me. Shame on her. I choose No contact.
Angels Of 11 mine too
Mines too
Im doing this now.
Respect ur mother. U will regret
@@qasimhameed3988 I will not regret but my mother did to me in the way I am today because of it and the total denial that she is in now and I am having trap radically accept it and it's hard but I'm going do it it is a problem and serious and the horrible thing choose to ignore your child no matter what
Scapegoat son of a narc mother here. I went to a child psychologist when I was young; the school I attended wanted to know why a kid whose IQ reflected genius was doing so poorly in school. So my parents reluctantly took me, and after the session, the psychologist called my parents in and told them that my self-esteem was deficient and that I had a very deep distrust of women--did they know anything about this? He began to explain that I had issues, some of which they were contributing to. Though she remained silent, I could see the veins in my mother's neck start to bulge as her eyes tightened, her jaw firmly clenched. He recommended that I begin therapy, and said that he felt that my grades would improve if they consented. This brought forth the only word that my mother would speak the entire time: "No." Without another word, we got up and went home.
She didn't speak to me for two months. I was 11.
Happy Valentine's Day to all who suffer in silence.
And for the advice, the insight, the inspiration, and the love; thank you, Michelle. Happy Valentine's Day.
Zigzag Streaks Two months! Im so o sorry someone did that to you, I was in a narcissistic relationship and the silent treatment was brutal emotional torture, God bless you I pray healing in your life
Thank you, Denise. I'm sorry that you endured that. Prayers, healing, and inner peace to you.
Zigzag Streaks ☝❤
I feel for you. Mother’s can ruin their son’s lives. I just ended an almost 7 year relationship with a covert narc, scapegoat son who had to care for his mother since age 11. Never married, no kids just future faking. I really believe he hated woman. Been in no contact 3 months.
Zigzag, you sound like an empath. Sorry that you had to go thru that.
He used silent treatment on me. And i told him: Silent treatment doesnt work on me because I just leave. Then he gave me an engagement ring...I guess it was his way of making me stay;
since he didnt want me to leave yet. He stopped using silent trestment on me. Then I used the silent treatment on him for 2 weeks because I was tired of his emotional abuse so I texted him and unmasked him. I told him I cant be in a relationship with a Narcissist. It's over!!! Until now 3 months. *No more for me. He never knew how to conversate...he'd talk talk and talk. All about him and his needs...Too toxic for me. Im in peace now; thank GOD!!!
Mine would silent treat me and id find myself talking and talking...its never an issue when im talking about my flaws but once we get to her silent treatment then i find myself breaking the ice smh
This is the BEST video! Michelle. You nailed it. If you are watching these videos its apparent you are aware there its a problem with someone in your life...This video its the one that will make you realize ...WOW...this shit is real..super spot on play by play...thanks for being so.. you! you are awesome! And. For sharing your experience..You are a absolute precious blessing in my life...I want you to know that I truly appreciate what you are doing! Thank you!
Mine always went straight from love bombing to the silent treatment, no dispute needed. I would understand it more after a fight, but not after being on great terms.
Cherry van Holland i feel you... Same here... Then if you try to contact to find out what's wrong, then that gives them an excuse to extend your punishment. Then you wonder if it's permanent this time. It usually isn't.
Philip A. Reilly The last thing he said to me was that he is going to sue me, cause I’m obsessed with him. But he called me like 10 times a day and I ignored it. Responded after a couple of days that I have evidence that he cheated on his girlfriend again. I told him that I’m not obsessed, but that I think that he’s a heartless, soulless egomaniac. He didn’t respond anymore, but ever since his mother, his girlfriend and the girl I knew he cheated with on his girlfriend that day are following my every step on instagram.
@@iniubongnkanga9390 why repeat ur comments.. No ones phoning the no.. We are clued up here
mine too! after a great day together, silence and ignoring me. when i being it up he says i am being unreasonable to need contact every day. yet if i do that, no contact for a a few hours he calls and texts relentlessly
I recall when I was little that my dad was always reading the newspaper. Sometimes I needed something for school, and what not. I would go up and ask him. He would not even put the paper down. He would not answer, or move a muscle. I remember not knowing what to do, if to stay there and continue waiting for an answer, or to leave knowing that I would not get what I needed for school next day. Next time I needed something, it was the same thing, I already knew what was going to happen but I still went anyways. Needless to say, I suffer from tremendous social anxiety and I am afraid to even ask people for directions. I would much rather always attempt to do things completely on my own than to ask for help. This has lead me to tremendous stress and work addiction. Needless to say my relationships all suffer from it.
I loved the silent treatment compared to her cutting me down...and putting others on god level pedestals for doing the exact same things that i liked to do.
And she complained that i never apologized for anything.
This video is exactly what I needed. So my x fiance has ignored me for a month this time ... then randomly calls me today. Saying he wants to see me and he loves me. 2 hours later I text him back. Telling him it was ok and to leave it alone. Then he called me 30 times ... I am not kidding. I blocked him. A few hours later I text him stating my boundaries. I told him I will not allow him to go in and out of my life like he always does anymore. (It's a waste of time) I told him I will no longer be disrespected. I will not tolerate his behavior. I told him we are walking on 2 different paths. He said he wanted to talk 🤣😄😃 I told him he has shown me his capacity over the past two an a half years of how he can change and I have nothing to talk about. Then he said he never wants to talk to me again...lol 😁 what happened to the I miss you I want to see you I love you .... Let's talk. He never takes accountability for his behavior. He never says sorry. And above all he never never changes. Again he showed me he does not want to change! So I will not be jumping back on the hamster wheel ... lol. I am so happy. Thank you for educating me! I no longer want to be with someone who only wants to harm me and use me.
It blows me away how he just expects me to ignore everything. Lol. Who does he think he is? 😂 it's mind boggling
Imagine he's so toxic he said that he doesn't hit...as if there's no other forms of abuse ....run...I feel relieved and free
In my experience setting boundaries, such as temporarily leaving in the face of the silent treatment, anger or other abusive behavior, never works with a true narcissist. When you return they will be the same, probably worse. They don’t respond to positive or negative reinforcement because they honestly believe that they are always right in their conduct, and you are to blame for anything that they may have done wrong. So they will always behave as they see fit. There is only one solution - leave them for good. Put them behind you and live a fulfilling life with positive healthy people who like you and appreciate you rather than undermine you and take you for granted. Remember, deep down the narcissist does not like you!!! It seems crazy because they may very much want a relationship with you - but that is just for their own validation to have you look up to them....IN TRUTH THEY DO NOT LIKE YOU!!! Remember that, I cannot say that enough. Leave them!!
Hell yes the silent treatment is abuse!
1. I did apologize 😐 he is in rage over something I never did! I'm dead to him, he simply doesn't care about me anymore!
2. I cried, I chased- he didn't stop me, I was helpless, I shouted at him, cried, angry and upset - he saw all of this and rejoiced , he has satisfied his sadistic ego and his revenge is complete!
3. Yes I couldn't get over him, I feel bad, I couldn't get him out of my head! He created an illusion that he is the world to me and that I couldn't live without him!
4. Yes I'm being emotionally assaulted all the time, he is pure emotional manipulator, emotional abuser!
5. He ended silent treatment then he started blaming everything on me, twisted my own words against me, using my own words against me, making me take responsibility for everything that's gone wrong!
6. My time and health is gone! I wasted my life and emotional energy on a psychopath! His abuse broke me down completely! I'm physically mentally emotionally sick , got severe depression, PTSD, caught an autoimmune disorder by suffering too long!
I am there along side of you going through the same thing in my life we WILL get through this we WILL
Couldn't relate much .These videos really help me understand my reality and their reality. Hang in there. You're not alone.
Thank you, Michele. You are doing a great service to abused sufferers around the globe.
My spouse didn't talk to me for 2 years. This is an ongoing problem 35 years worth of garbage. Finally finally thank you for your videos, I no longer feel any connection to the narcissist.
Viva los pepes what did you do to upset him?
Viva los pepes too me 2 year to get though this. Feel so much better without the narcissist in my life
"erasing time in your life"-so well put. Thank you.
This is Wats happening 2 me and I'm scared got no family no money IM STUCK 😢😢😢😢😢😢 THERES ALSO PYSICAL ABUSE 💔💔
Fantastic video Michele....where were you for 20 yrs of my marriage....(probably 1o years in reality). I wish I had known then what I know now. Thank you so much for the vindication. 💚 Jen
Its childish to just argue with that person.
My teenage granddaughter does this to me all the time. Now it’s been 4 months. She has been thru trauma as her mother is a narcissist but my heart is breaking. I was the one that too such good care of her
A narcissist does not care if you loved them or looked after them, they actually see that as your weakness. You will have to walk away from your granddaughter or live with pain and heartbreak for the rest of the time you spend with her. Your choice.
@@obscurum6 she now has blocked me on everything as if I meant nothing to her. My heart hurts. I feel god removed her to protect me.
@@obscurum6 my counselor is talking to me this week about how I need to be if she ever comes back around. I am such a mess. I never thought this would happen but she is hurting me on purpose. I was discarded like old trash.
@@jennaletizia5430 relinquish control of the outcome. Write you lamentations in a journal, as prayers to God, which means giving words to your pain. Sin entered the world and brought chaos. “Ain’t nobody do you wrong like family.” Find your peace in the Bible, Bible promises, and the person of Jesus Christ, even if you loose every person and everything else. Peace can only be found in this. Leave off all expectations of how God should handle them, and be patient, trust His timing, and humble yourself before Christ, and He will exalt you in due time. Worry is over-concern and it will not change things. Look at these in the Bible, and all their persecutions, and how God fought for them: Joseph, David, Daniel, and JESUS. We suffer for righteousness. This is about her issues, and not you, it sounds like. Distance yourself in this way. Praise the Lord daily. Get in The Psalms. Claim His promises!!!
He thought he was giving me the silent treatments, but he didn't know I was done. We haven't spoken since, and it's been 5 years. Of course he attempted to Hoover me, but he's on strict no contact. I wish I would have done it sooner. F him!
Social media has made narcissism worse. Some of my former friends on social media have ignored me all together. I didn't piss them off or anything. At first it sucks...then I deleted their contact information. This actually worked for me.
The silent treatment from them is to make us feel like we are dead !! Cherish it and get them out of your head !! Then the next day wrestle back the remote control . and guess what your wrestle back control of !!! Yep your life !!! And guess what they do !! Yep run and start to pack then order you to help them pack. !! The only thing i could do was stop and start to laugh ! Thanks
Leaving won't work. They will accuse you of going to see someone else... Been there....
OMG if I was going to ask "Are u ready to talk about what's bothering you" I'd be asking almost everyday I get the silent treatment. if I even say he seems mad about something he says "Actually I'm not and now I'm going to get mad for you saying I'm mad when I'm not" LoL
C Fab my ex narc said those exact words! There must be a narc handbook they all read out of.
I’ve def heard this! He’s said this from the beginning. I am just starting to learn about this and I’m so confused!!! Thanks for your comment. Helps to hear the exact words.
C Fab OMG!!! Same exact thing my ex did all the damn time! I could not even assume let alone ask because I would get attacked and told off right from the bat! Smh!
Is crazy man I'll tell you adult with this guy off and on for two years well little over. It was always on his terms everything was he would always break up with me and would ignore me for 2 weeks or 3 weeks at a time be messing with other girls in then when he couldn't afford a prostitute then he would call me and stop ignoring me. I would stay the night at his house and find pictures of other girls in his phone that he got off of Facebook but he didn't even know just pictures of girls random chicks I think he used them to jack off to honestly. Call me when I going through his phone looking at the pictures he had one picture of me in there and he broke all of my shit choke me and threw me out at 2 in the morning. He was Notorious for kicking me out in the late morning hours with nowhere to go and no car to get anywhere
I'm at the point we're I don't care if a nar is giving me the silent treatment. The only time I want to deal with narc is face to face. I grew up with a narc and had to deal with at least 7 narc in my life. I do not care if they are silent with me. Ever since I have had min time with these people my life has been happier. The best thing to do is keep them at arms reach all they do is cause trouble and drama and I'm getting older and have a family now. Who has time for that headache
Suggesting to talk to them is a huge no-no. They take that as, "I won, I got them, I got them upset"...then when you do talk to them; they play dumb and smirk; then say, "you have a problem", "you are too emotional"...they gaslight. Then make their silent treatment YOUR imagination. IGNORE THEM....get busy doing something; shopping, visit friends, hobby, turn on your music, take a long bath, talk on the phone with friends, watch television (something funny) ect....most importantly ---- SECRETLY MAKE PLANS TO LEAVE AND NEVER RETURN. NO CONTACT!!
My sister is a narcissist. Our mother died last year and she has broken off all ties with me. I am heartbroken as I have no next of kin and no real family left alive. Horrible to realize you habe no family.
Make America Great Again Same here and really feel for you.Love & Light🙏
Make America Great Again .Same thing happen to me with my brother
Out of nowhere ny ex Narc accused me of cheating when I was 7 months pregnant....yes 7 months pregnant. He gave the silent treatment for 2 weeks. 2 weeks whilst I was heavily preg was like hell. In the end i told my Father who called him and told him to stop and grow up.
I always leave when I get the silent treatment but it really bothers me. However it’s been incredibly challenging to keep any focus on my tasks. I can’t seem to overcome this losing focus. My narcissist has no plan to change - his mother is the same; passive aggressive and uses the same tactics of accusing, instigating, silent treatment. There’s no use - they can’t self regulate. They act as if it’s normal but it’s the furthest thing from being normal.
Amen. Abuse is not of God. Life is worth living after leaving abusive relationships.
I wish I had known years ago about the silent treatment and verbal abuse...such suffering and many panic attacks later!
I would love silent treatment from a narcissist. The least amont of interaction with these ppl the better.
I appreciate your tips and suggestions to level the playing field and neutralize unprovoked episodes of hostility or rage. Sometimes I'm like OMG what am I dealing with as I know I haven't said or done something that would create a response like that in a non disordered person.
I have suffered with a person who gave me the silent treatment . I have lived with this treatment as a punishment , it hurts me when people continue to do this care less act to one another . A heart was meant to love and be loved .
I do those things , then comes the love bombing
My dad did this to me for three months at the end of last year. It was one of the final straws, the pain from it.
Thank you....your know has helped me with the process. Wow...what a Wake Up call! Thank you for pinpointing the abuse. They like you to be confused about everything and not to know what they are thinking or doing.
Not so much to Control the Person but rather itrying to figure out whether they still Love you the same way enough to stay in the relatio ship or rather do they want to Leave you For a New supply thats all . BECAUSE the mask usually starts falling off all the Way when they have Tested the New supplier and they replace you with them becouse the New supplier are fresh into the relationship and Bow down to thier attention Machinizism, To the Perpatrator these people don't Love whosomely that's the bottom Line , Love Youreself and stop trying to figure tjem out .The silent Treatment means they have thier Heart on Some other Tactic there for stop Preying I to these Predator's they are Animals witj no remorse that's it .
The narc i dealt with would get upset when I mirrored his silent treatment. He would call his family members and friends and talk about me like I wasnt there and get on social media and socially abuse me. The day he checked himself into a hotel for a weekend to get a reaction out of me I planned my exit to move back home 16hrs away from the grown boy ✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾😜💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿
You should always remember and make it clear that you are your own master and are free to leave at any time. People who don't appreciate you get really lazy over time and just assume you'll never pull away for good no matter how bad they treat you and how often they reoffend.
I needed to hear this. He puts restrictions on me a lot. He turns phn off, then gets mad if I dont txt straight away, hes hypocritical to the core.
Plays games to make me insecure, or jealous. Its exhausting. Thanku for this clear plan.
pls help...
I am 31 yrs old, i loved a girl for 8 yrs she never talked to me, i did whatever i can just to talk to her, one of my friend called it is one-side love but i did not believe him, i asked myself why can some fake the love for so many years so i stopped discussing with my fnds, people ask me when i am getting married but i am unable to forget her face, but she knows that i love her, what i have to do ? is she a devil with a beautiful face and if so what is her fate ? she only attracts me with beautiful face, now i came to know that there some thing known as narcissism.
I Simply Love your #Wisdom !!! Thanks for your GIFTS
Not playing the game of this shit ,I just don't react
Doesn't feel like love
Those who've suffered so immensely from family narc abuse, and later partner narc abuse because we often attract them, could be accused of giving the silent treatment when we are forced to go no contact.
We stop communicating with them when we see the futility of giving sincere explanations only to have our heartfelt expression of feelings twisted and taken as narc supply.
I cringe at the thought of the truly malignant NPD family member viewing or reading that silence is an indication of narcissism (not that it isn't, yet it isn't always) and using my silence as another weapon in their smear campaign arsenal.
I wish you, someone, or many would address this and bring to light the need for silence while in no contact mode.
It takes a lot to get to the point of having to go no contact. It takes wisdom and courage. It is essential for those with cptsd.
Your discourse is superb! You've got it down to a T. I am going to empower myself. We don't live together. He provides some services as I am mobility challenged. I shall stay calm. I no longer beat myself up over this boy/man and ask myself why he is the way he is. He does not follow boundaries n twists everything. I will conduct myself accordingly! Thnx so much...I subscribed to your channel. I lived 18 yrs with him .....Yes my health went downhill
Parental Alienation is the worst form of the silence treatment. It is child abuse in addition to abuse of the targeted parent. Long term prognosis for the child who is being used as a pawn is dismal.
AWESOME
If you confront a narcissist with anger and then they use silent treatment, even if you apologize for you raising your voice not for what was said, how do you break that?