I know the pain that many are going through and I wish there was a magic wand. The magic is you can get through this and come out better on the other side. Going though my two years of struggle, I learned to deal with or accept what was happening. Don't fight it. When you hear that inner voice, you have some ability to manage those thoughts. Go limp and be the conscientious objector. I was inspired to John Lewis and the non violent civil rights movement. They knew that anger, clubs, and pain were coming their way, but chose to stand there and not respond. They just stood there and accepted what was about to happen. Insomnia at times feels that bad, but you don't have to engage with it. You can change your relationship with it. You can learn to shift how you think about it. It takes time, but just sit with it, look at it, feel it, and accept whatever is being tossed your way. For me accepting the pain was the first step and everyday the pain and fear will get a little smaller. Be patient, be kind to yourself, and things will get better.
Місяць тому
Bec of insomnia and the teachings from these videos, you really have no other choice but to be kinder and gentler to yourself. You dont get there right away and it’s a bumpy road but that’s probably the biggest lesson coming out of this experience. You feel so alone and so miserable most of the time but listening to other people’s recovery stories brings to light how self compassion is such a HUGE component of recovery.
The book is by a Tibbetan Buddhist called Pema Chodron - - Welcoming the Unwelcome. Thanks for a great interview. I really welcomed the wisdom, it is so lonely and painful going through this and fundamentally we do have to find our own way through. As someone going through difficult speed bumps I really appreciate this video. Another thing I wanted to share is working with a therapy called Internal Family Systems which I have just started to work with and we learn to listen to the parts of us that are anxious and shouting out to be heard. When we don't see and listen to them they shout loader. The process is called unblending and is similar to observing our thoughts and not identifying with them.
She’s done incredible work, love her teachings. And someone else told me about IFS as well, really nice. Thanks for sharing and glad you’re finding value here 😊
Thank you so much for another great video ! Sleep coach is a true professional when it comes to insomnia ! I listened some of podcast interviews about sleep management, it’s all they can talk about is how lack of sleep will kill you or will caused 100 diseases, it’s very little mention about how to help people get better sleep. That’s why i only trust the true professional sleep coach like Daniel, Martin or other coaches, you’re the only professional actually has real contact and helped each client and brought results, rest of so called scientists, sleep experts, they only never really deal with a single insomnia client, but they get on podcast teaching and advising people how to deal with sleep issues i ( insomnia )!
I don't underatand the part of accepting it like if im not sleepy do I get up or do I just lay in bed closing my eyes even I know I can't sleep. Because I have the capacity of being awake for days.
Hi, thank you for making this video. I’ve been having insomnia for two decades, and I have a trip coming up in a few days to visit my family in China, the anxiety leading up to this trip is keeping me up at night, worry about the long flight and the jet lag on top of my insomnia. will the app help me?
Anytime 🙂 glad you found us and you know, all the information is here for free. The app has curated information and you can ask questions, you can check it out with a free trial. Rooting for you!
Great program. I get the concepts. But after improving I now am having all nighters. Trying to accept and deal but it makes me feel like I can’t do this.
Hang in there, there’s sometimes a sense of “paradise lost” when this happens that can be so difficult. This can be helpful to look through: ua-cam.com/video/eTVl6m_idMs/v-deo.htmlsi=eUkNkWdhXeZH4eRz Rooting for you!!
So you’re saying you still have sleep difficulties, but you’ve come to accept not sleeping? I gather that insomnia never goes away, it’s just that some people learn to live with it better than others. Is that correct? It seems to me that if a sleep program or treatment were effective, one would sleep about as well as one did before they had insomnia. I’m curious, can you let us know how your nightly sleep now compares to your sleep before you had chronic insomnia? Thanks.
Bless you I can feel your suffering in your comments. I know its super hard I'm going through it myself. But try and be more optimistic and not react in a negative way each night. I know its annoying but things can always get better many people over come this
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Yes, but do you sleep any better when you accept that you are not sleeping? I keep hearing about constant “speed bumps” after having accepted not sleeping. Aren’t speed bumps just the continuation of chronic insomnia? ( As a comparison, my husband sleeps about 9 hours every night. He has never had chronic insomnia and he doesn’t get “speed bumps”. He has about 1 or 2 nights PER YEAR when he sleeps “poorly”, which for him means he gets about 5 or 6 hours. It seems that those of us who have constant “speed bumps” and NEVER get more than 5-6 hours sleep still have the condition of chronic insomnia regardless of whether we accept it or not.
Hi, I think it’s about intent. With true acceptance, when we no longer try to control sleep, we no longer count hours, we don’t compare or have sleep envy, there’s no doubt we will no longer struggle with sleep. Whether it’s long or short sleep, fragmented or not, it’s peaceful 🙂 Now if we try to use acceptance to achieve “better” sleep, then most likely we will not have peaceful sleep because of the effort. It’s tricky but I see you’re here learning - and when we are ready to learn and look at things in a flexible way, nice things follow 😊
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Maybe talk about HOW and WHY to accept the anguish of no sleep? I just can’t find any way to accept it. I have no idea how that could be done. Nor do I see any good reason for accepting my insomnia since doing so will not make it go away. I’ll still have constant “speed bumps”, which is just another way of saying I’ll still have chronic insomnia. I feel insomnia is killing me. After a year and a half of chronic sleeplessness and malaise it has only become more debilitating and life-crushing. My body has become exhausted and weak from lack of sleep, and I see no end in sight. You can say that the despair comes from all the energy wasted on “fighting wakefulness”. But honestly the despair is caused by 18 months of lack of sleep! Suggesting that one should “just accept it“ is like saying “just accept that you’re drowning. You’re still going to drown, but you’ll feel a little better as you gasp for air and die”. HOW could anyone go about accepting insomnia? And WHY?
can you function by only resting? and not sleeping. I am in graduate school and here I am instead of studying for my midterms. I am spiraling. Will the app help me?
Hang in there, there’s an episode with Kristen (search talking insomnia Kristen) where she shares how she did well with medical school exams even sleeping very little or not at all. The app can help if you’d like the teachings laid on in text and someone to text with. But all the teachings are also here on UA-cam for free. Rooting for you. Let us know how things go
Yes. Doing nothing is currently impossible for me. I am also a fixer. A problem solver. Had 2 weeks of good-ish sleep after discovering The Sleep Coach School followed by worsening insomnia in week 3. I am binge watching these videos and everything make perfect sense but on some level I am just not getting it. My insomnia is now worse than ever - my brain is SCREAMING at me to ACCEPT WAKEFULLNESS!!!!! This is obviously the opposite of what is required here. I have returned to looking down all the old rabbit holes - Magnesium, Ashwagandha, Valium (the only thing that actually works and I only have 1 left), etc. I understand everything perfectly intellectually - it all makes complete sense and I'm convinced this is the only solution, but at night I'm currently enacting it in a completely unhelpful way. Any tips?
Hi Robin, you know this is a common conundrum… having the intellectual understanding but still not seeing a change in a deeper level. Check episode 459 hope it will help
I know the pain that many are going through and I wish there was a magic wand. The magic is you can get through this and come out better on the other side. Going though my two years of struggle, I learned to deal with or accept what was happening. Don't fight it. When you hear that inner voice, you have some ability to manage those thoughts. Go limp and be the conscientious objector. I was inspired to John Lewis and the non violent civil rights movement. They knew that anger, clubs, and pain were coming their way, but chose to stand there and not respond. They just stood there and accepted what was about to happen. Insomnia at times feels that bad, but you don't have to engage with it. You can change your relationship with it. You can learn to shift how you think about it. It takes time, but just sit with it, look at it, feel it, and accept whatever is being tossed your way. For me accepting the pain was the first step and everyday the pain and fear will get a little smaller. Be patient, be kind to yourself, and things will get better.
Bec of insomnia and the teachings from these videos, you really have no other choice but to be kinder and gentler to yourself. You dont get there right away and it’s a bumpy road but that’s probably the biggest lesson coming out of this experience. You feel so alone and so miserable most of the time but listening to other people’s recovery stories brings to light how self compassion is such a HUGE component of recovery.
Yes, this is the path 😊
The book is by a Tibbetan Buddhist called Pema Chodron - - Welcoming the Unwelcome.
Thanks for a great interview. I really welcomed the wisdom, it is so lonely and painful going through this and fundamentally we do have to find our own way through. As someone going through difficult speed bumps I really appreciate this video.
Another thing I wanted to share is working with a therapy called Internal Family Systems which I have just started to work with and we learn to listen to the parts of us that are anxious and shouting out to be heard. When we don't see and listen to them they shout loader. The process is called unblending and is similar to observing our thoughts and not identifying with them.
She’s done incredible work, love her teachings. And someone else told me about IFS as well, really nice. Thanks for sharing and glad you’re finding value here 😊
The interviewee should be the one interviewing. Well done for progressing in your journey!
Thank you so much for another great video ! Sleep coach is a true professional when it comes to insomnia ! I listened some of podcast interviews about sleep management, it’s all they can talk about is how lack of sleep will kill you or will caused 100 diseases, it’s very little mention about how to help people get better sleep. That’s why i only trust the true professional sleep coach like Daniel, Martin or other coaches, you’re the only professional actually has real contact and helped each client and brought results, rest of so called scientists, sleep experts, they only never really deal with a single insomnia client, but they get on podcast teaching and advising people how to deal with sleep issues i ( insomnia )!
Anytime Michelle! Thanks much for the support, and you know I think these are some valid points here for sure… hopefully we can make a difference 😊!
Trying to control sleep is an addiction!
So glad you found your way here 😊Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
💯
I don't underatand the part of accepting it like if im not sleepy do I get up or do I just lay in bed closing my eyes even I know I can't sleep. Because I have the capacity of being awake for days.
Hi, thank you for making this video. I’ve been having insomnia for two decades, and I have a trip coming up in a few days to visit my family in China, the anxiety leading up to this trip is keeping me up at night, worry about the long flight and the jet lag on top of my insomnia. will the app help me?
Anytime 🙂 glad you found us and you know, all the information is here for free. The app has curated information and you can ask questions, you can check it out with a free trial. Rooting for you!
My insomnia is uncurable unfortunately, but cool story
Great program. I get the concepts. But after improving I now am having all nighters. Trying to accept and deal but it makes me feel like I can’t do this.
Hang in there, there’s sometimes a sense of “paradise lost” when this happens that can be so difficult. This can be helpful to look through: ua-cam.com/video/eTVl6m_idMs/v-deo.htmlsi=eUkNkWdhXeZH4eRz
Rooting for you!!
So you’re saying you still have sleep difficulties, but you’ve come to accept not sleeping? I gather that insomnia never goes away, it’s just that some people learn to live with it better than others. Is that correct?
It seems to me that if a sleep program or treatment were effective, one would sleep about as well as one did before they had insomnia. I’m curious, can you let us know how your nightly sleep now compares to your sleep before you had chronic insomnia? Thanks.
Bless you I can feel your suffering in your comments. I know its super hard I'm going through it myself. But try and be more optimistic and not react in a negative way each night. I know its annoying but things can always get better many people over come this
So all its about is acceptance?
Sounds simple but its very difficult
Yes, it really is. Not only when it comes this sleep but really anything in life we cannot control.
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Yes, but do you sleep any better when you accept that you are not sleeping? I keep hearing about constant “speed bumps” after having accepted not sleeping. Aren’t speed bumps just the continuation of chronic insomnia? ( As a comparison, my husband sleeps about 9 hours every night. He has never had chronic insomnia and he doesn’t get “speed bumps”. He has about 1 or 2 nights PER YEAR when he sleeps “poorly”, which for him means he gets about 5 or 6 hours. It seems that those of us who have constant “speed bumps” and NEVER get more than 5-6 hours sleep still have the condition of chronic insomnia regardless of whether we accept it or not.
Hi, I think it’s about intent. With true acceptance, when we no longer try to control sleep, we no longer count hours, we don’t compare or have sleep envy, there’s no doubt we will no longer struggle with sleep. Whether it’s long or short sleep, fragmented or not, it’s peaceful 🙂 Now if we try to use acceptance to achieve “better” sleep, then most likely we will not have peaceful sleep because of the effort. It’s tricky but I see you’re here learning - and when we are ready to learn and look at things in a flexible way, nice things follow 😊
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Maybe talk about HOW and WHY to accept the anguish of no sleep?
I just can’t find any way to accept it. I have no idea how that could be done. Nor do I see any good reason for accepting my insomnia since doing so will not make it go away. I’ll still have constant “speed bumps”, which is just another way of saying I’ll still have chronic insomnia.
I feel insomnia is killing me. After a year and a half of chronic sleeplessness and malaise it has only become more debilitating and life-crushing. My body has become exhausted and weak from lack of sleep, and I see no end in sight. You can say that the despair comes from all the energy wasted on “fighting wakefulness”. But honestly the despair is caused by 18 months of lack of sleep! Suggesting that one should “just accept it“ is like saying “just accept that you’re drowning. You’re still going to drown, but you’ll feel a little better as you gasp for air and die”. HOW could anyone go about accepting insomnia? And WHY?
can you function by only resting? and not sleeping. I am in graduate school and here I am instead of studying for my midterms. I am spiraling. Will the app help me?
Hang in there, there’s an episode with Kristen (search talking insomnia Kristen) where she shares how she did well with medical school exams even sleeping very little or not at all. The app can help if you’d like the teachings laid on in text and someone to text with. But all the teachings are also here on UA-cam for free. Rooting for you. Let us know how things go
Yes. Doing nothing is currently impossible for me. I am also a fixer. A problem solver. Had 2 weeks of good-ish sleep after discovering The Sleep Coach School followed by worsening insomnia in week 3. I am binge watching these videos and everything make perfect sense but on some level I am just not getting it. My insomnia is now worse than ever - my brain is SCREAMING at me to ACCEPT WAKEFULLNESS!!!!! This is obviously the opposite of what is required here. I have returned to looking down all the old rabbit holes - Magnesium, Ashwagandha, Valium (the only thing that actually works and I only have 1 left), etc. I understand everything perfectly intellectually - it all makes complete sense and I'm convinced this is the only solution, but at night I'm currently enacting it in a completely unhelpful way. Any tips?
Hi Robin, you know this is a common conundrum… having the intellectual understanding but still not seeing a change in a deeper level. Check episode 459 hope it will help