I Didn’t Just Relapse I Reverted Back To My Old Ways | How I Got Back On Track
Вставка
- Опубліковано 21 бер 2023
- This was not an easy video to make but it’s an important one. Today I will tell you how I fell back into the trap where I remained stuck for 5 weeks and how I pulled myself back out. Never quit quitting.
20:43 Hi Bren, I’ve been watching for a while, but have never commented. This time I feel compelled to share. My dad is an alcoholic and he decided to stop drinking in his mid 30’s, he was to the point of having DTs and losing his family. He went through a handful of relapses before it finally stuck. Now he’s been sober 50ish years, has had a wonderful life. Just turned 86 years old last Friday. 😊
That’s nice to read, thank you for sharing!
I'm like that but not with drink or drugs but self sabotage over thinking shit and I think I've got ADHD and you sound like you have ADHD traits
Part of recovery is relapse. Hang in there and keep at it. July will be 5 years since I drank. It definitely get easier with time. I relate drinking (now) to feeling bad and distracting me from my purpose. I’m proud of you, and I have all the faith in the world in you. I will keep you in my prayers. You’re doing a good job keeping it real. I always tell people you can lie to whomever, but always be honest and real with yourself. Your transparency is admirable! Big hugs 🤗
G.m. you are super kind & sweet & a real great guy....its ok you will make it 2 never having drinks..
Hey life just happens.. you are doing great... every new morning is a new start.
Most of us will never meet you, but we got your back 🤘👊
You are human and it's not easy to be human. Hang in there. You are helping others with your videos. When I am stressed, I open one of your videos, and it helps me relax. Nice, easy going, a guy living his life and doing it his own way. Thank you for sharing your story. We are all in your corner.
Sober 3.5 years here. Thanks so much for your honesty. We all appreciate you so much.
Meetings, meetings, meetings! Throw it all, out there. In the rooms. With those, who, get it!
I used to go CODA meetings. My step dad was alcoholic.
I get this100%!! "My relapses are an urge to escape reality, drinking for me is avoidance." This is me as well. When I'm doing well, I always self sabotage. I can have a great yoga routine going, then I'll go on a binge, and lose days at at a time. Also family parties, summer, fishing are all triggers, although not stressful situations at all. Thanks for sharing this.
I wish I could hug you through the screen. Please try to forgive yourself & keep fighting. We all have demons, just don't let them catch you slipping. Be safe. Thank you for sharing.
Hang in there, Bren! You are worth it! Keep reaching out to others and know that a bunch of strangers who only know you through this UA-cam channel do care about you. Praying for you!
Thanks for sharing. My brother relapsed after 8 years of sobriety. He's doing well now, but it's always "one day at a time".
I was watching this at a weak moment, draining my last bit of wine from my glass during a "sober" week...when it tumbled out of my hands and broke into a million pieces, as if to say, " F you, Jennifer. How dare you believe I'm conquered?!"
I understand the dichotomy of the two inner voices. It starts with that whisper, "But you're in control! Go ahead! You EARNED it!"
You really summed this struggle up perfectly. It's YOU verses you.
That is the disease. And it can be triggered by any strong emotion, negative or positive.
Alcohol and drugs are the Devil. I finally kicked the habit but it wasn’t easy. I relapsed too and for some of us that’s just part of it. All you can do is try your best and you will eventually win the battle. I couldn’t drink responsibly so I don’t drink at all. It’s just how it has to be for me. Thanks for sharing your struggle. It helps others.
Except for the suicidal part, this was all so relatable to me. I don’t drink and have never been a drinker. I do, however, overspend and more obviously binge eat/ overeat, with a lot of the same thought processes you’re describing. Thank you for your honesty and transparency. You’re touching people. I’m people. ❤
I'm the same not alcohol or drugs but over thinking and self sabotage and I've looked into it and I think I've got ADHD
@@darrelltregear756 I’m pretty sure that’s my issue as well. My doctor won’t even assess me for it tho. I also have GAD/ anxiety so apparently that’s enough🥴. Even tho they can co-exist. I graduate law school next month and it’s been the biggest struggle of my life without the mental health support I know I need.
@@AlexInFocus I was diagnosed with high functioning autism but the more I look into it ADHD or even both . I suffer OCD and I am procrastinate and hyper fixate on subject till I get bored then it be something else and I get overwhelmed by people and want to be on my own.and I AM dyslexic too.
Know you are helping so many other people, thank you !
Thank you! I hope so.
I've had my share. Going on 16 years now. Big of u to put this out there. The problem with our relapsing is one of those times could be the time that we exit this world. It happened to my favorite brother, my wonderful protector and friend. Please be safe!! God bless. And yes, its a horrible depressant. U got me crying. Sending up a prayer. I became homeless sober and i cant imagine the depression i would feel if i drank. TY for keeping it fresh in my head.
Keep pushing
I am 28 years sober and I lost my beautiful sister to alcoholism and rx pill addiction when she was 47. I still take it one day at a time.
I've been watching you when you only had less than 500 subscribers and what drew me to you was not only your good looks, 😮but your honesty and your love for your son. You are so on point with what you're doing. You're taking responsibility for YOU! You are truly putting yourself out here for all to know that it's okay when life throws you a few hard balls. Know that you can catch them. Keep getting back up my friend, keep fighting, you can do it.
Thank you, much appreciated!
💕🥰💕🥰💕🥰💕New subscriber here(Monteagle Mtn.,Tennessee)..watching some of your 'get to know me' videos first🤔😉😊..from one recovering addict to another..I'M PROUD OF YOU! 'Outward' accountability is one of the toughest 'steps'(for myself) and this video shows your dedication and perseverance to your sobriety!..(if I may,catch a meeting too..I discovered,if you don't like one 'type'(ie..AA/NA,etc) go to another..afterall,a meeting is a meeting😉)..You will be in my daily prayers💕🙏and looking forward to watching your videos
@kimberlyharris4445 You’re from Monteagle? I thought that was just a mountain pass! I had no idea people lived there too! 😆 I just learned a new thing today! ♥️
It takes courage to share this things, you are helping a lot of people here because everyone can relate as we all going through stuff in life and sometimes just knowing that we are not alone makes the difference
It sure does Mike! Be well out there!
Being an ex-alcoholic, I appreciate you sharing your experience, strength and hope brother! You live and learn. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other; baby steps. Your human, we all are. We make mistakes and we learn from it. No one is PERFECT! I look forward to new videos from you and I’m glad I got that notification today 😆 Stay safe out there friend. You got ppl here routing for you! 🥳🥳🥳 YOU GOT THIS!
Thanks Peter! Means a lot.
I believe we're alcoholics for life
You are a winner man. It's not the end destination, but the journey. You are adding to the hopeful and brighter future of the collective humanity and cosmos by just vulnerably opening up and sharing. Nothing gets wasted, it all counts at the end.
Thank you for sharing your accountability. Don’t give up! We’re rooting for you. Here’s a scripture on hope…
Jeremiah 29:11
“‘For I well know the thoughts that I am thinking toward you,’ declares Jehovah, ‘thoughts of peace, and not of calamity, to give you a future and a hope.”
I appreciate you making this video because I struggle with alcohol too, sense I was 15 and it is the hardest thing I have tried to quit, I quit smoking and drugs but for me alcohol is by far the hardest to quit!!! Thanks for the tips and having the guts to confess, respect to you!!!
Hey Bren. I've been binge watching you to catch up, ever since I found your channel. 33 yrs ago after my divorce, I went out every night. Thankfully, it only lasted a year. Despite evolving, I still slip sometimes on my food, water and exercise program, and the effects are immediately evident. Bright blessings. 💖
❤ A courageous moment…
Let’s keep this thing going!!!!!
Hey Bren. Powerful video. Your a man’s man. I wish everyone can wear those bands with ya. Keep On Pushin.
This voice you kindly speak of is the demon that is attached to you, stay strong,the demon
Is relentless
You have probably saved lives by this one video! Im 65, been in some really bad & really good places and just want to thank you so much! That demon you speak of can come along and get a person even without alcohol, stinking thinking. It can follow isolation very easily...Your honesty and bravery is phenomenal! THANK YOU
I look forward to seeing you succeed in life!
Been there. Been there. But it DOES GET BETTER. IT DOES. You just can't give up until bit does. But it does eventually get better. 😍
Wow brother. I returned back into drinking too. This is my first week being sober. Your videos help. Thanks man . I actually was gonna do what your doing. Keep it going man
Keep it up, you are doing great!
Glad you're back. Last Feb 5th during cold spell my.kid brother Bryon got drunk and froze to death in the terrible cold. 4 of my brothers have died as a direct result of drinking. I had to fly up with young nephew who was just out navy. I'm glad you made it back. Keep going a day at a time.
Jeez, that’s awful. I’m glad to be sober nearly 9 months now.
I am so sorry, that is so tragic. I have been sober 28 years and lost my beautiful sister to alcoholic and rx pill addiction, she was 47 years old. That loss keeps me sober. Take care of you.
In Paul Conti’s book Trauma, he says in the tug-of-war between logic and emotion, emotions win. It’s evolutionary, deep-seated wiring that is supposed to keep us alive. This is the reason why you see someone in a burning house and you rush in without hesitation is because emotion takes over, and jeopardizes your life, even though logic says don’t go in. It helps me to tame the ‘Temptation Tiger’ 🤘🏻🌸🙏🦋🌱
To quote the previous “relapse is part of recovery” Thanks for sharing and being honest. Keep working on being sober.
Thank you so much, my friend. Like you said, we all have struggles; I certainly have mine. You’re a strong, kind individual with a fvck ton to offer this world. Stay strong and know your friends here on YT care and will listen. I’m always keeping an eye out in case I run into ya lol 😉💜
It’s a small state, we just might cross paths! Lol
Me too relapse again. Stopped drinking for almost a year and still wondering how it’s feel to getting buzzed again all the time. So I brought some drink tonight and enjoying the buzzed
You are a brave man with a great understanding of your disease.
I appreciate your honesty and the courage it took for you to share this. I’m rooting for you. Your sharing helps others know they aren’t alone in their struggles. ☮️
Absolutely relatable video! I’m grateful for the share🙏🏾 I’m going through the same exact thing, right now. You never know what someone is going through. You’ve done more than you’ll ever know,by including us in your journey.Not knowing we share some of the same things. I even work for Door Dash and Uber Eats, crazy👊🏾 I love your channel and I am a subbie! Keep your head to the sky! Peace and blessings to you and yours!🙏🏾
Thank you!
@@brenpgrace You’re welcome ☺️
Thank you for sharing this with us Bren. I pray the urges decrease over time and never give up knowing sobriety is so much better , because it has to be. And it is. Russ
Hang in there Bren. We all have our struggles. Live one day at a time and keep the faith. So glad you had the strength to share this part of your journey.
You are not alone, brother.
I know the feeling of withdrawing when things aren't going well. I've been having anxiety and it's so hard to vlog and come out with videos like this, at least that's how it is for me.
It certainly is hard but I also found it to be very relieving. It’s ok to be struggling. You are not alone.
Hey man. Here with you, bro.
....
Just thinking for a sec. Thinking about what a man says to another man to show solidarity and understanding. You're a good man, Bren. I'm learning so much from you - I've been inspired to adopt sobriety because of your efforts to improve yourself.
I'm becoming a better person alongside you, mate. I hope that us viewers watching and commenting makes a difference to your path. I certainly hope we are able to help you as much as you help all of us.
Really appreciate the honesty and deep feels in this video. It must have taken a lot to turn the camera on and talk about it all.
We are all behind you.
Talk soon.
Nick
Hi Bren, I just found your channel & I'm so grateful. Hoping you're in a much better place than you were when you were working through your relapse. I get it, I'm an alcoholic who isn't drinking too. I used to say I was going to run away and live in my truck, I admire your brave choices. You're safe and among friends.
Keep fighting, Bren. You're worth fighting for. Awesome video. We are on your side.
Bren, first and foremost, I'm so proud of you for sharing where you're at. I can so relate to this. I struggled for 15 years with addiction. In that time, the most time I ever got was 1 year 10 months. The last time I was drinking, I got too close to ending my suffering. I'm only here because I remembered I have kids and that got me to go to treatment and try one more time. My pattern was to get sober, do great, forget I can't drink successfully, and then start drinking again. This time, while I was still in treatment, I wrote 43 reasons why I never want to drink or drug again. I read that list every day for my first 6 months. By the time I got to 12, I would be crying. I also did IOP for my first 7 months and went to 12 step meetings. I still seriously wanted to drink at 6 months, but I knew what would happen from my list, so I talked about it everyday in 12 step meetings and IOP. I reached out to friends when I wasn't in meetings, in person and on the phone. I stayed sober. Now I've been sober 2 1/2 years this month and I haven't wanted to drink since I had 6 months.
There's always some anxiety or some type of negative feeling behind my wanting to drink again, even when I'm successful. Great things come with obligations, responsibilities, and expectations. I'm bad about "Can I keep this up? How can I keep this up? I can't keep this up. Damn, I got to keep this up." I had to learn to stay in the day, trust in the future, and not put pressure on myself. "I don't know if I can keep this up forever, but I can keep it up for today." Just like with drinking.
Anyway, they say the opposite of addiction is connection. Your accountability and your connection with your friends and your family are setting you up for success. You can do this even though it's going to be hard. Just stay in today. If today is too much, stay in this moment. Cognitive dissonance also ends when you make a decision not to drink and then you do something else. Take care. I'm here if you ever want to talk.❤
I appreciate this a lot. Thank you. I wonder sometimes should I keep sharing or just stop and focus on my life in a more personal way. It's very difficult to share with the public what I'm going through. I'll have to assess that. It's not easy. I honestly don't care about my success on UA-cam compared to what I put out.
@@brenpgrace Understood. This was very vulnerable and real. I think you should share what you feel comfortable sharing. If nothing else, it's a great record of your journey - the good, bad, and in between. You can also make your video private if you change your mind about sharing it in the future.
God bless you! Love your videos.keep up the good works.your son is blessed to have a good father like you!
Bren, you are truly translucent and brave. I am so happy that you have chosen the road to share honestly with your viewers and to give yourself goals to aspire to achieve. I have a family member who is an addict and if he even had 10% of the insight that you share, then I would have some hope for him. You are a true inspiration. Having goals is key and your son clearly is your prize. I look forward to watching you grow stronger and gain even more clarity. Thumbs up, you are a winner!
Thank You. Takes courage to talk about our issues.
Be what it may... We are all human.
Hey man I have been watching you a while. I can relate to what you are going through and I'm definitely rooting for you. I lived in my car for 9 months and I have also had a similar relationship with booze. I think you should just get a place. I had to settle with renting a room in a house with a roommate which isn't ideal but it has made things easier and cheaper than motels.
You have a powerful mindset Bren! You took the steps to overachieve yourself and found the positivity to continue. We are here for you no matter what. It's important to stay happy but healthy as well. I'm glad you are doing well. Never give up!
Thank you!
You've taken a great 1st step in being open and honest.
Jesus knows what you're going through, and He loves you as you are. Fight the demons with Jesus.
You have a cross unite it to His, lean on Him, and He will help you.
I will pray for you.
😢Please please don't drink. I love u sober. Glad u made the video too. My 2 hard days/nights to not drink are NYEve/Day and Easter :( every yr.
Holidays😢 hate 'em.
I'm back at AA after relapsing, it's a tough road and we have to keep plodding. I isolate terribly and it's a big mistake sharing is the key. Good luck.
7 months is long time honey. You should be proud of yourself.
You're a good man. Some people have no addictions but are heartless. You have a heart; that's a better start than most.👍💚
Great story. Keep up the good work. Even though you don’t know me I’m behind you all the way as there are probably many more. Thanks for being open and honest.
Thank you for such an open and courageous share! I really like the quote you put at the end about pain and peace. We are taught so many ways to avoid the pain we experience in life and rarely taught how to go through the pain, but I see you doing it here. You’ve got this! One day at a time adds up. Oh and I like the wristbands too. That’s a cool idea- that last one will feel really good when you get there.
Success is the quality of the journey… celebrate joy each day!
Hang in there, GOD BLESS 😊
Let's go for this black belt again. Black belt is cool. Thanks for sharing.
I totally understand that binge process. Like being a Yo-Yo. We just keep going in circles, or up & down and digging a hole bigger.
Day one for me. Now I’m looking for the wristbands.
Let’s do this 👍🏻💯👏🏻
I love you my friend❤
Hi Bren. Keep on keeping on! My Mom didn't survive alcoholism. Keep going!
Dude. Good for you. Fight the good fight. I was touched by your video and your journey. I have an issue with food and then it messes with my financial life because I’ll overspend on way too much food for one person and just to get my “fix.” Most people don’t realize just how destructive food addiction is as well. All addictions are. It’s all self-sabotage. I can also relate to alcohol as I’m not an alcoholic but it’s in my family and because I have such a high tolerance I too would binge drink when I was drinking because I never felt done. I’ve even had a few close calls when I decided to drive while intoxicated. It’s unbelievable how destructive all of this can be and yet it’s something many people battle with. I know you’re on a good path now because I’ve seen your latest videos, but I’m sure it’s a daily struggle either way. I can relate. Except with food we can’t just avoid it and that’s HUGE!
You will overcome this! You’re an amazing person.
Bren it’s like our hair stylist. I call her my analysis. It’s good to tell the truth, it helps free you. Bless you sweetheart.❤❤
That's the Devil he wanted to see you go down and he knew your wrakness and he took advantageo of that that's where you should have been strong in God because ad long as you keep in that direction the Devil will continue to keep you in that drinking mode I want you to keep doing better think about your little son you drinking nite is not worth loosing him I love you and I want you to pray keep your head. Up and don't give in to the devil God is your Syrength if you want him to be. Lobe Rloise I love your Show so much I been there
😊😊😊
Your wristband support system is great! Thanks for sharing that & for being so true and real within yourself and with us.
Hi Bren , just want to say you’re one of the most self aware people I’ve seen . Every word of yours is reflective and earnest and I want you to know we’re rooting for you . Wishing you all the best and please know you’re amazingly capable of achieving your dreams . Much love .
Wow thank you !
Thank you for your message tonight Brenn. All we have is right now so celebrate those victories 🎉
With an 🍊orange of course!!
🧡🧡🧡
Oh I can’t wait to find a good orange! 🍊🤣
Well done! Thanks for sharing as it inspires me to keep going! What you describe is me, and I am great full that each morning I wake up sober, is a slap in the face to the beast that convinced us that relapse is ok
Love it, stay up man!
My ex husband was/is an alcoholic. Thank you for explaining what goes on in your head and what the struggle feels like from your side. Although he did not take accountability, I feel like I better understand what it is like for him.
Respect bro...i relate to ya alot...keep pushin we got this no matter what
Bren, I'm so glad this message had the positive perspective it did really indicating that this slip is ending. Avoiding the slip turning into a slide and a slide turning into an avalanche is so crucial. It's interesting to me how through a series of videos I can find myself caring and rooting so strongly for someone I've never encountered directly. I have hope for you, my own little metaphorical container of hope with your name written on it. I also appreciate that you discussed hope yourself here near the end of the talk. Instantly what came to my mind is one of my favorite musical artists. His name is NF, and the reason for him coming to mind is his album debuting April 7th is called HOPE. He released the first song which is also itself called HOPE and you can find it on UA-cam. I just felt the need to mention that because I think timing matters and I believe it to be worth your taking 5 minutes to listen to that song. Be well, sir -UUELTE
Thank you UUelte, I felt that. I like NF, I’ll check that out for sure. Be well out there!
Thank you for sharing your journey to sobriety.
Anytime Doug!
I am proud of you, Bren. Your vulnerability to share your days with us, so honest and humble.
God loves you so much.
Great video!!!!!! I need/want more "meetings" please- AA❤😢🎉
My father died from drinking addiction liver cancer . 😢He was the most amazing person i had ever known but I could not have a continous relationship because of his drinking problem ... DO NOT do this to your son PLEASE ! Be accountable to yourself, your life and your son ! You are Great!!! KEEP GOiNG!❤
Heard that.
I'm glad you shared, I'm going through the same thing right now . And its not easy,but we have to keep on going and not give up!❤
THE ARMBAND IS A VERY GOOD START
Same problem here...
Stay strong bro... 👊🏻
I relapsed too bro..just a while ago..now I am back on track..but I had a slip and fall and knocked out 2 teeth..now it costs me some $$$ to get my smile back..if you ever want to talk just do it..I'll be here
Been there, it's okay. Start again you can do it.
Thank you for telling part of your story. I’m in the same boat as you with the cognitive dissonance and can completely relate. I know this video is a year old but I just want to say thank you. It’s not easy being vulnerable like you have. You are inspiring. I’ve gone 4 plus years without a drink. I’m in that stage where I just feel kind of pissed often. That’s ok though as long as I’m not drinking.
I was a lukewarm follower before watching this video. I’ll be watching a lot more now knowing we have some deep shared experiences. Thank you
Your a beautiful human , keep fighting for that human who is beautiful and deserving. The longest journey is from your head to your heart and I believe your ahead in your journey! Keep moving forward one day at a time.❤
Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability
Keep on keeping on one day at a time.And please if you don’t start going to meetings
Thank you Bren ! I so much needed to hear this today....I came across your channel by chance. You made it all make sense in one short clip. The band idea is brilliant! I'll be getting myself some.
I want to be there with you through ALL the colors !
Hey buddy, it happens just get back on the horse. I am standing with you here; you can do this! I am dedicating to you "Standing with You" by Guy Sebastian. Peace! Carlos
Thank you!
Stay strong role with you keep opening up to your audience and Friends have faith in God and you will achieve your goal
Ur my inspiration to do DoorDash and live in a suv. I’m an addict too. I’ve been clean for 3 1/2 years!❤
Thank you for sharing! I hope that you are doing well now :) I can relate with the struggle; I’ve had different amounts of sobriety over the last 11 and a half years or so. It is a battle!
You are a strong amazing human being❤❤❤❤
Grateful for you Bren! Here for you and with you!! ❤️💪🙏
Pride and shame are problems for me. Was looking for others living in there vehicles staying warm eating living because im having a hard time. Been clean 15 days so far this time but very depressed about the situation i have put myself in. Dark thoughts because dont want to get drunk or high again and afraid thats where im headed.
We love you man. Romans 8:1-4. Moment by moment.
You got this
Amazing. Thank U.
Thank you for this 💫
keep up the good work, you are not alone