Does anyone else besides me ever notice that when people complain about “lazy products” it’s often over healthy foods like fruits and vegetables. I’ve never heard of any outrage over foods like, frozen chicken nuggets or microwaveable pizza. Heck even making those types of meals from scratch, is not considered to be the norm for most people. So it’s not okay to be “lazy” eating an orange, but it is okay to be “lazy” eating pizza you cooked in your microwave.
Also, all the other things that aren't food but help us out. I have remote controlled lights, which I guess could be said are for lazy people, but when I can't walk, I'd still like to see in my own house... Even things like Alexa, or other techy kind of things that make life easier/faster, can help us.
Ya know, it may actually be easier for me overall to cook a frozen pizza (which would kill my guts) than it would be to prepare an orange. Washing the orange, scrubbing it, squeezing the juice, & straining it would be my orange process. The fiber would also kill me is why I'd need to juice it. I have EDS & my finger hypermobility greatly affects my ability to do physical activities that require extended pressure. My fingers just continue to bend (hyperextend) backwards the longer I do a repetitive task. Then they lock up. Then I have to "unlock" them between each movement. Then they start to fail. I physically cannot complete tasks at the point I literally have Gumby fingers. Putting a pizza in the oven, even factoring in cleanup, is a lot less traumatic on my hands than preparing fruit. That's a really good point & interesting thought.
I've heard people complain that "now baggers carry your groceries to your car for you because we've all become so lazy." I tell them that I think it's a great service for the elderly and the disabled, and I often get this weird look because people haven't thought of it before.
That's so weird because it used to be way more common, and most stores don't want to pay the labor for that now. Before I became disabled, I was a "courtesy clerk" (the industry term because, yeah, not supposed to be "baggers" anymore) and we weren't supposed to offer to take bags out so we could use our time elsewhere! I offered anyway because I was dying of boredom at the job and it was interesting. I never felt like anyone that took me up on it didn't genuinely need/appreciate my help! But now I have to beg to get help with my bags.
I was happy to help customers with their bags and anything else they needed help loading into their cars when I worked at a grocery store. It was nice to hear when they appreciated my help, including when a young person sounded embarrassed about needing help due to a shoulder injury (I didn't think they needed to feel embarrassed and was truly happy to help). Years later, it hurts my shoulders just to handle a phone, like for typing this UA-cam comment (not to mention the neck/back/other EDS-affected tissue). I'm glad that I was helpful back when I could be, and I'm glad to know that, in theory, others may have a similarly non-judgmental attitude (most people I know are more judgmental and quick to jump to negative conclusions about others than I am, though; oh, well! 🤷).
im disabled myself and i worked as a digital shopper. i took grocery orders out to cars, and tbh i didnt really consider that.. i did very often serve disabled and elderly folk, but couldnt put 2 and 2 together lol.
*I'm not disabled. I've never actually thought about how products that may seem unnecessary me could be something that gives a disabled person the ability to do something. This video really opened my eyes.
@ThisIsMyRealName I think people just care about fairness and don't understand. I have a lot of empathy and understand that some people need to have things a different way for accessibility. I think other people don't get that and just see it as unfair.
I _wish_ I had known that I had "executive function disorder" back when I was in community college and university _so that_ I could have gotten that extra time on tests. Maybe I would have actually finished one BEFORE time was called. (I suspect that I have dyslexia, too, but it was not detected in the neuropsych eval that I had a couple of years ago... I'm not sure if I really care about getting an official diagnosis for my dyslexia at this point in my life...)
@@sunglassesgirl I had a lot of common dyslexia traits and struggled with reading a lot as a kid so I found out very early. I had to take a new Dyslexia assessment for extra time on the SATS and my dyslexia was barely traceable. People adapt I think that might why they didn't say you had it.
Even as a person with a disability, I never thought about having my food cut up, because it didn't effect me. I saw it as wasteful and polluting. I never thought about people with this kind of disability, who need it in order to have a full, healthy life. Now that I have watched this video and have been educated, I see it differently. Could you consider that, "Those f**** arrogant ableist" are simply unaware? No one knows everything.
When you live in a meritocracy, you literally need to prove you're worthy of being alive. This holds marginalized people, especially disabled people, back so _so_ much. It makes us feel not worthy of asking for help or accessibility when we need it. I've been called "lazy" for not being able to work or study full-time due to my current mental amd physical health; hearing that I'm not deserving of accessibility hurts more than my physical pain some days. Literally _no one_ enjoys being stared at or treated differently in public, no one chooses to live in constant pain and struggle to complete everyday tasks. Ableism is systemic
@@user-ux7dn3bl4h so we should sacrifice our health? We don't choose our genes, or our health. We contribute the same % to society as everyone else, that % is just smaller for lots of disabled individuals because our resources such as energy are far more limited. We need to budget energy for the most basic of tasks, such as showering, brushing our hair and teeth etc. You expect us to contribute 9-5 like you, because you have the energy to do so. Many of us do not have that energy, and it'd be detrimental to our health to even try.
Your not alone this is most people unfortunately. I did it for some years but when I saw it wasn't worth it at all I chose to stop. I know of people who've worked extremely hard their whole life, rarely taking breaks until they were hospitalized. And I have seen people who barely worked at all. And what I find most interesting is that both people were at the same level in life. Working hard and having a higher education does not always equal a successful financially comfortable life. Doesn't mean you shouldn't try anyway. Buy I'm not about to tire myself out to work trying to get a life I just may never get no matter how hard I work for it. That's a waste of time for me.
Yeah! What's with that? I tried to open a fruit package recently and because it refused to open easily and ended up spilling every where, I was so upset.
Friends and family that have known me well for years as a workaholic, sporty, constantly on the go and ambitious young woman have seen me rapidly deteriorate to needing a rollator and walking stick just to get around, being bed bound for days or weeks at a time, and know my struggle. Yet they still call me lazy over and over again, and when called out on it they say it’s a joke - but it isn’t funny and I am not laughing. Lying in bed all day does not make me lazy, and I do not do it because I am lazy. My work doesn’t have a lift (elevator) and refuses to let me have a desk on the ground floor because everyone works upstairs, there is no accessible toilet, and I am not allowed to use the accessible parking (because that is for customers), but they believe that they are not discriminating against disabled employees (or customers visiting the building who need the loo). Lazy is such a loaded word and is so damaging. Xx
One minute in, and I'm already going YES YES YES, click like. :P I read a Medium article called "Laziness does not exist" (great read!) and a part has stuck to me... "If a person’s behavior doesn’t make sense to you, it is because you are missing a part of their context. It’s that simple." Our culture could do a lot better with practicing compassionate thinking, and that phrasing rolls through my mind whenever I'm quick to judge someone. It hurts so much to be called lazy; it's the worst kind of insult to imply something innately wrong with a person, and/or lacking willpower. Just using my adrenaline magic and quietly trying not to die, folks, please move along. ;)
I was only angry about the pre-cut food for environmental reasons because it required so much extra plastic packaging, but I never considered it was so important for disabled people. Your video made me look at this situation from another point of view, so thank you very much!
Also I feel like precut foods would be really useful for someone who's depression is really bad at the time and can not trust themselves with a knife or a person who is traveling and doesn't have access to a kitchen or a parent who needs a snack for their kids while they are already out and away from the home.
Thank you for mentioning depression, a few of my friends dealt with what you mentioned. For me sometimes when I'm well to get up but still not enough to function I don't have the power and motivation to hold things properly, so I don't even try in fear of disappointing myself, wasting mental energy or making a mess. Having precut food would mean I get to eat something on a day like this.
That's interesting. I stopped cooking as much when I developed chronic migraines. Recently I tried getting back into the kitchen and have cut myself more times this half year than I can recall in many years, so much now that I mark it on my migraine calendar as a symptom. I like buying fresh foods and vegetables to prep, but I didn't think about the safety aspect of precut food beyond convenience. I realize that recently I've been beating myself up, a lot, for not cooking my own meals like I used to, but not remembering until I'm about to try to cook, all the little accidents and oopsies I've made when in a fog that could be dangerous. I guess I should be nicer to myself and allow myself to buy the pre-cut frozen strawberries sometimes.
I've been made to feel like I'm being over dramatic if asked for help or talk about my illness .. As well as a hypochondriac. But being called lazy is the worse for me.. I've had it all my life and if you believe them and push through you do yourself more damage and pay for it through pain.. Plus you reinforce their perception.. you can do it without repercussions.. and continue to perpetuate the myth that I'm only worthy and My life is only valid if Im constantly productive. .and independent.. But If you listen to your body and use the equipment which can help with your everyday existence or god forbid you asked for help and accessibility then Your made to feel useless and not worthy and not able to advocate for yourself..its truly a vicious circle and isn't helped by the media/medical profession.. That most people with disabilities are faking it or can either do all or nothing.. X ♥ I needed to hear this today..♥ Thank you
Everything is so much harder to do in a wheelchair, that it baffles me anyone could think it's laziness. It's like calling someone lazy for having a prosthetic leg.
I like your video. I’m struggling with internalized ableism and asking for accommodations that I need but I don’t always feel I deserve because I sometimes feel I don’t try hard enough. Even if I am running myself emotionally into the ground.
I had the same problem for years and years. My condition is progressive, so I started out trying to hide it and avoid any kind of appropriate help as long as possible. When I look back now, there are so many things that could have made my life so much easier and could have given me the energy for other things besides pretending I didn’t have any limitations. Now that I’m in a wheelchair, I can’t hide it, but I put off getting a power wheelchair even when I knew I would be able to get around so much easier and be more independent with one. It’s so awful that we will deny ourselves the help we need because it might look “too disabled”. This society is so focused on fitness and beauty it’s ridiculous. People should be able to get the help and accommodations they need without feeling the need to hide it. It’s worse that we have to worry about not looking disabled enough for the public. It’s amazing how often I get dirty looks for being disabled, but if someone ever thinks you are faking the reaction is a thousand times worse. I always wonder who pre-cut food was actually made for. It’s almost impossible to get accommodations made for people with disabilities, that many times it’s just an accident that something ends up being useful for disabled people. I honestly wonder if it’s the same thing in this case.
Found through Breadtube and very happy we did. Thank you for explaining how perceptions of laziness weave itself into ableism. We've found this not only with physical disabilities but mental ones as well.
I was undiagnosed with POTS for 5+ years, and I was so, so ill. Working was out of the question; I was in school but could only handle a couple of classes at a time. I suffered so much just getting through each day and I felt debilitating hopelessness, but somehow I pushed through. I felt like I was at 150% capacity all the time, constantly hitting my limits and dragging past them. Even though I was literally doing everything I could (and then some), judgement was all around me. People would ask me why I was in school part time, why I wasn't working, why I didn't this or that. My illness is mostly invisible and even my close friends didn't really get it. Even when people were nice, I could tell that they thought that it couldn't be that bad, and that clearly I could (and should) be doing more. Fast forward to now--diagnosis and treatment have given me back so much, and I'm so privileged to be able to say that. I'm still disabled, but I can meet the expectations placed on me. This year I've had two jobs and was in school full time. Sometimes I feel like I'm at my limit--at 100%, but never at 150% like before. And yet people give me an incredible amount of validation, telling me that they're impressed by how hard I'm working and how great I'm doing. This feedback is bittersweet and it honestly upsets me sometimes, because I know that my younger self worked a million times harder and all she ever received were microaggressions and people vaguely implying that she was lazy. I want to tell people, if you want to know what a hard working person looked like, remember back to me five years ago. You may not have noticed, but she worked so much harder. You never know how hard someone is working just to do something that you would find trivial. Minimal tangible accomplishment does NOT imply no effort.
i'm so sick of people being so judgmental of people with disabilities, i wish the judging and gossip would stop and we can just accept each other for who we are
On a lighter note: pre cut onions are a blessing to everyone! No more stinging eyes! On a more serious note: I am tired of people being shamed for other people’s assumptions and superficial based presumptions. And this video hits the nail on the head. While not officially a disability nor even a chronic illness, I have very sensitive and severe anaphylactic reaction to airborne peanut allergens, to the extent where I was hospitalised 11 times in 2018 because of it. As such I had been put on strong steroids to try to help my immune system a bit and to help me with the after effects of anaphylaxis. In this period I was also trying to lose weight, but instead the reverse happened and I ballooned. I was often told I was clearly unmotivated to lose weight (as I already started out as being obese) and that it wasn’t the steroids causing the weight gain but my lack of self control as steroids “only increase your appetite”. This was completely false. People need to stop being armchair doctors.
This was very eye opening. I definitely had those moments when I would judge certain products for its "laziness". Ableism is something i have struggled to fully be aware of and this channel definitely helped me try and be a better person
I often feel guilty for using accommodations that I have in place because of my disability. I have autism (and the accompanied anxiety, sensory issues, fatigue/sleep issues, migraines, adhd, executive disfunction- you get the deal). I have a job coach and have flexible attendance at work to help mitigate my disability. I had a very overwhelming day, a splitting headache, and really needed a break from work today. I didn’t ask to because I worry that my coworkers will be upset that I am allowed to move my hours when they are not.
Autism doesn't cause migraines for me, but i guess it affects different people differently, it's tension headaches mostly for me, and i have cerebral palsy which also causes pain, my neck and back ache a lot, and my hands and my bladder is messed up too, i urinate frequently and i can't stay dry at night sometimes
I remember when the precut avocados came out and honestly I looked for them because I have never been able to get the strength to get the pit out an avocados. It would have actually allowed me to be able to eat an avocado, or use it in foods.
I just had one of those annoying experiences of people trying to shame me about a parking space. My car was overheating, so I pulled off the freeway and into a strip mall, parked in the disabled space in front of a Subway and went in to have lunch and let the car cool down. When I was done I popped open my hood to check the coolant level. I was actually walking with my cane. A guy in a truck drove by and shouted out, "That space isn't for that!" I walked out from behind my raised hood, so that he could see my cane. He looked embarrassed and drove on. I was so annoyed by him, my car, and the fact that I have Lupus, which means that being out in the sun trying to deal with my car was going to make me sick. Sure enough, I broke out in a rash and got sick to my stomach later. 😥
Even your own family who have raised you and know of your disabilities and what they do to you & see you at your worst & best days also can come in saying your making it up and or your lazy! Really can't fathom this ableism!
Thank you for talking about this subject. As a Potsie with chronic pain, I have been called lazy many times, and side-eyed on the occasions that I need to use a wheelchair (such as going in and out of airplanes, since flying really messes with my POTS). It's so messed up how much ableism is out there and how those of us with invisible illnesses/disabilities are looked down on. If more people spent time researching invisible disabilities, instead of making assumptions about people with them, the world would be a much better place. To anyone reading this that needs to hear it, you are loved. You are valid. You are not being lazy.
I sometimes feel like a lot of people just like to ignore others who can't do the stuff their doing and then when their come in contact with those people their getting to cut in line some where or getting great seeding at event. So they make really rude comment adout the people because their not think. At lest when I have confronted some of these people they do apologize when I tell them that they don't know that the person who the just insulted is going though and some time they even apologize to the person if they even hear the rude commant.
You know how many times I needed a disabled parking or needed a front row or disabled accessible seat and a “normal” person would refuse to give it to you.. just walk for 35 years limping.. to walk upstairs sideways like a crab because your hips are screwed and wired shut… man, F people…
I've had a self-proclaimed workaholic tell me that I was "just making excuses for the way I live" simply because I wasn't able to do much physically and that during a severe hypoglycemic episode I couldn't finish moving a bunch of stuff from one room to another, yet after eating and a nap I was able to finish in 15 minutes, so she didn't believe me that I hadn't been dealing with something that seriously compromised my physical ability to do anything (this person also refuses to understand the real definition of "disability"). That was probably the worst I've gotten, and I keep my contact with that person to an absolute minimum for that very reason. I haven't had people try to tell me that I shouldn't be using mobility aids or a handicapped parking space, thankfully (the worst I got was a rude kid across the aisle at the store very loudly ask me what happened to me, which I merely ignored), but a good portion of my college classmates were (very politely) curious as to why I was able to ride and take care of my horse when they only saw me in a wheelchair the rest of the time. I merely gave them a simple answer (usually something about when I'm at the barn is all the walking I'm able to do in a day), and they were kind enough to just take it (I think they were actually mostly concerned about whether I was okay and that something serious hadn't suddenly happened, which was helpful); a very select few who I felt comfortable knowing it, after several months, were told the real reason.
Thank you for making videos like this! I've definitively been guilty of making fun of products like these before and it's because of informative videos like yours that I've learnt to think before I judge.
Thank you for saying you believe me and understanding that I am doing the best I can. That means a lot to me because a lot of people don’t seem to understand how difficult it can be to do “normal things” when you have a disability.
I have a chronic condition due to a head injury. What’s really bad is this is so prevalent in our society I’ve internalized it and get made at myself for being lazy when I’m having a bad day.
I understand because i have cerebral palsy too, My body is in pain, my hands, my back and my neck ache a lot and i sometimes pee myself a little while sleeping, cerebral palsy causes bladder leakage as well, I should wear protective underwear to bed just in case of an accident because my sheets and clothes get wet, i didn't mind wearing them as a teenager, I've actually struggled with urinary incontinence for my entire life, thankfully i rarely have accidents during the day unless i have to pee really badly, it's just when i'm sleeping that i have a problem
Though my cp is a bit more mild I do have a lot of those same issues and at times it can be so frustrating and seem impossible to deal with and that’s when I usually count my blessings. I also have a channel dedicated to cp and our journey as as well as the struggles. If you ever need support or have questions I’m here!
This really hit close to home for me. I'm disabled, and my mother (who was fully aware of my disabilities) would frequently push me not only beyond my own limits as someone with my disabilities, but also beyond even the limits of those more able than myself, and I would often get so exhausted that even breathing hurt, but when I would take breaks, I would get yelled at for being lazy, even though I was often sick, or in excruciating pain, and when I would let her know, she would complain that I was always in pain. I finally left recently, thank god, but I'm still currently struggling with my own internalized issues because of it. I nearly cried watching this. It's too real for so many of us, and I hate it. I'm not even going to get into how in my late teens I struggled with the thought that I was too useless to even exist.
I remember that ad campaign. I also remember the how I went off on them. I guess that's why I'm enjoying Home Chef so much right now. Nobody is making rude comments, I choose what I want to eat, it gets delivered to my door, everything is preportioned and separated into its own bags for each meal, and comes with easy recipe cards. As someone with vEDS and POTS, I look for meals that are fast and easy to digest(I also just found out I have a hernia!). I can't stand in the kitchen and cook for more than a few minutes. Sometimes, I just have cottage cheese for dinner. I did loose one of my best friends over my illness. Thinking about it over the past few months though, was it really a big lose for me? I always went to her when she needed... she never came to me when I needed. 🤔
Thank you. It's very reassuring to see a young person speaking out. I have Ehlers and I am 59. Each year my world becomes smaller because of my body. I was diagnosed by accident when my son was referred to a geneticist. My son has Ehlers, Autism and ADHD. He was 21and I was 47 when we learned about Ehlers. I began struggling when I became pregnant and my hips kept dislocating. After my son was born I rolled over in bed and dislocated 2 vertebrae between my shoulders. My son and I have been put through hell because of this "your lazy" attitude. We were at a mall and use the mall scooters and I had to take the employee to task because my son doesn't look disabled. He was called "lazy". My own mother just a few years ago called me fat and lazy because I used a walker and scooter. Keep up the great job of bringing these antiquated preconceived attitudes towards disabled individuals. Your voice is strong and it helps to know that you will speak the truth.
Thanks so much for speaking up and calling out Ableism! Myasthenia Gravis (MG) is a rare autoimmune neuromuscular disease affecting vision, speaking, swallowing, use of arms, use of legs, and breathing, etc. Using muscles increases weakness! Affected muscle(s) and degree of impairment can fluctuate from hour to hour, day to day, and person to person. MG typically affects women under 40 and men over 60 - but can manifest at any time. Also, some people are born with Congenital Myasthenic Syndrome (CMS).
Thank you so much for making this. After being diagnosed with fibromyalgia and arthritis last year, I struggle a lot with people thinking I'm lazy because I can't come out and socialize or I can't keep the house clean or I can't keep up on chores and it really does hurt my feelings. The few chores that I do every day are usually extremely painful and take so much out of me that I'm just too tired to go out and do things afterwards. Luckily my boyfriend understands but not everybody is as kind. Sometimes I have to use the electric wheelchair at the supermarket and I always get tons of looks and snide comments when I'm using it because I look young and am only 30. I have one of those plastic contraptions that helps me get my socks on in the morning because I'm usually the worst in the morning, and recently I saw a bunch of people making fun of it online saying that it's the most lazy thing that I ever saw and if you can't put your socks on for yourself then you might as well stop trying anything, because you're just too lazy to live. It was really upsetting
I feel this. It is never enough for some people. And the "maybe you din't even try" or "maybe you aren't trying hard enough" are things I have heard way too often in response to dyslexia and hearing issues. And even if I don't hear those things from the people around me now I have still heard them so often that I expect them and I still have built in fears of those situations. Especially as I slowly loos the ability to stand for long periods of time. Thank you. I needed to hear some of that again.
I love this ❤ I can relate so much, I also have EDS, POTS, and chronic fatigue/M.E/CFS, and most people don't understand the invisible disabilities and need for aids. Thank you for making all of these videos, I find them so helpful.
If I wasn't emotionally exhausted, today, I'd be crying. Thank you for making these videos. They are on point and express accurately what I've been feeling for years. I have Cptsd with the biggest symptom being endless nightmares and stress dreams. It has left me unable to hold down a job. This means a great deal to me. Thank you.💜💜💜🎁
I had to leave another comment. I am BEYOND appreciative of you for doing this. I am constantly hearing from friends who have "invisible disabilities" (or even visible) who get so much grief for using disabled parking spots or who have families/"friends" who just don't believe that they are disabled for some reason. More people should do videos like this! I have Multiple Sclerosis and Fibromyalgia. I am also a caregiver and a Reiki practitioner so I CONSTANTLY hear things like this. As I always say - dealing with other people's attitudes is often harder to deal with than the disabilities themselves which is totally unfair, imnsho.
You remind me so much of Jaquie from chronically Jaquie. Now that she has passed on I look up to you for strength and knowledge in the disability world. Thanks to the both of you I feel its ok for me to have any mobility aids I need for my illness. Im slowly gaining the confidence I need to become a part time wheelchair user.
😢I just suffered through an old friend come to my house and recorded and called me name's because my area is too messy 😢I 🙏 pleaded 🥺 with him that as part of my spiritual beliefs my soul can become captured therefore I covered my face with a towel, he then ripped it from me.
thank you for continuing to stand up for this community. it's so exhausting have to justify our own existence all the time smh. btw i love the purple lighting in this video.
I have been accused of both being lazy (because I could not walk all over a university campus) and of being "too type A" and not taking enough time for rest and self-care by the same person
I absolutely love your channel. As a fellow zebra, a slightly overweight woman, and a human f**king being going through a lot of health struggles I resonate with so much of your content. Thank you for you awareness for able bodied people whom don't understand what exactly we go through 💙🦓
I hate that so many think that way, I had gastric sleeve surgery in May and had a complication almost died, lost a lot of blood had to have a second emergency surgery. I was super weak when I got home walking and going up the stairs is so hard and exhausting, I would go up the stairs get to the top and have to sit immediately and take 10 to 20 minutes to recuperate. I was getting better over time but then I got sick, the nausea was so bad was was throwing up for three weeks, didn’t eat any food for that whole time, I was dehydrated more than once, my body was starting to starve. I had no energy to walk the whole three weeks so now my whole body is partially numb from no use while I was sick I hoping it will get better and it’s not nerve damage. I just got out of the hospital and I hated using a wheelchair to get to the car, it’s a long way from my room to the parking zone, there was no way I would make it. I’m going to Walmart tomorrow and I have to use the powered carts they have, but I hate when I have to get up to reach something because of the looks people give me, also I’m 21 chunky and always feel like when people see me using the powered cart that they think I’m just fat and was to lazy walk around Walmart. I hope over time people will be more educated because your disability or reason you have to use mobility help is none of there business.
Well put. I've been left in seriously life-threatening situations before because people would rather believe that I prefer to lean on others and just need to take responsibility for myself, rather than seeing that I was so incapacitated that I literally could not help myself. It's a real miracle I survived. You are right. This is a huge problem. The fanaticism with this is insane.
Just recently I started I started watching your videos and wow, so many of them are hitting home. I have severe chronic migraine, chronic leg and back pain (caused by scoliosis, anemia, a previous knee injury, and I'm pretty sure there's something else going on), I get tired, light headed, and out of breath extremely easily and I can't recount the amount of times I've been called lazy by my parents, teachers, friends, and other people in my life. "Oh you just need to get out more" "You're too young to be that miserable, just go for a run or something" and my personal favorite, "Sitting is unprofessional and lazy, I'm sure you can stand for a few hours" from my former Girl Scout leader at a cookie booth, even though she knew about my issues. (And there was a chair AT the booth!) I've been accused of faking my illnesses to get out of exercise and school work, and called dramatic for taking attention from "real" disabled people. Before calling someone lazy, try actually talking to them and hear their side of the story! (Also, keep in mind that it is not their job to defend themselves and "prove" their disability to you, just mind your business!)
This is so true! It's also many of those as-seen-on-tv products that the commercials have able-bodied actors doing things people make fun of, when in reality those products would be so helpful for many disabled people. So many of those commercials have people knocking things over or dropping things in ridiculous ways, so people call them products for lazy people who can't be bothered to do things properly. But if you imagine a disabled person in the same situation, it becomes clear how useful some of these products can be and why those tasks that seem easy to the average able-bodied person can actually be really difficult for some of us.
We are enough. We know our pain. I am tired of people trying to gaslight and shame people who need mobility devices. Because I do, I know what it feels like to not have the energy to do a "simple" task like cut up vegetables. This smear campaign is a sickening video and a huge step backwards. At least it is exposing the ugly truth in an ugly light.
Well said. So many more people need to see this video. Gaslighting is the perfect term to describe this. I've lost numerous friends and family who have told me my disability( dysautonomia, most likely POTS, and chronic pain)are all in my head. I used to be a workaholic and now that I can't work, I feel like I don't have a right to exist. I was misdiagnosed for decades and my physician wouldn't support my disability claim.
WE ARE ENOUGH! thank you so much for this. a little understanding goes a long way - and i wish that this extended to people with disabilities more often. i see you, i hear you, may your day be full of understanding people in your virtual life if it’s not a day you leave the house or in people who cross your path when you have enough spoons to be out and about. 💜
I also have EDS, and I buy prewashed potatoes from the grocery store. A friend recently went off at me about how pointless and wasteful the individually packaged prewashed potatoes are, and all I could think was, if it weren't for those accessible potatoes, the pain in my hands and wrists from scrubbing potatoes would have meant I would not have been able to eat it at all. I don't pay extra for those potatoes just to be lazy, I pay it because it is the only way I could eat them on many days!
Even though we have never met, and you don't even know about my conditions, thank you for believing me. I hadn't realised how badly I needed to hear those words. I believe you too, and you are enough Annie, more than enough, you are brilliant
As a female that was born disabled, thanks to vacterl association, and am now 30, this video made me cry. So many times i've heard "you're too young to be in all the pain, you're lying" (I don't know what it means to be pain free) "you're too young to need a cane" "you're too young to need that wheelchair" "you can walk for 1 minute, you don't need that" Never mind i'm always in pain and my feet and legs always hurt from medical issues and on a good day...I can take the pain for a couple minutes before it gets too bad. That's at best. So I can generally get to the bathroom and back in my house. On a bad day? I can't walk at all. Even that good day means I can't go out without a wheelchair if i'm going to be going around somewhere. I may just be 30 but my health just keeps getting worse and i'm doing what I can, but that isn't much. Or at least it seems that way to everyone else. I sometimes end up injuring myself without meaning too because I did more than I should have. Love this video.
I'm sharing this video with my family members and friends. As someone with several bad health issues, I often have people judge me for being "lazy" when I'm not. You explained this topic very well and I just want to thank you for spreading awareness about this topic.
Oh yer I went to mainstream school in the UK and all the way through all I heard from teachers was ‘Jemma’s lazy’ or ‘she could try harder’ I was working my but off! Same at uni and even now friends make comments. I’ve actually had to have therapy because I had such bad hang ups about being labeled as lazy.
I have a sleep disorder and have for most if not all of my life. But the symptoms really started to show when I got to be a teenager. The world is obsessed with labeling teenagers as lazy, and I heard it many many times because of how late I would sleep in or how many times I’d fall asleep in class. Every time I heard people mock lazy millennials and how teenagers just want to sleep all day and not do their homework or their chores, I felt more and more isolated. Even when I’m awake the fatigue is so debilitating that I don’t have the energy for a lot of things. But abled people just compare it to when they don’t want to do something. I really WANT to do a lot of things, I just can’t. Thank you Annie for your thoughts on this topic. This disabled “lazy” person appreciates it so much ❤️
Thank you for this video. I’ve never related to a video this much. I have fibromyalgia and I’m suffering with anxiety based on societal expectations. I needed to hear all these things in the confident way you delivered it. Thank you, really ❤️
There are so many things that are just "normal" in our culture that are so fucking ableist right beneath the surface. I wish more people saw your videos. They have helped me unpack a lot of ableist beliefs I didn't even know I had and made me feel less alone as a young person with a (granted, early stage) chronic illness (lymphedema in the house!).Thank you for the precious energy you put into advocating, educating, and bringing beauty into the world while you are also fighting to survive.
EDS, POTS, MCAS, Autoimmune Encephalitis here. Felt every bit of this. Instant subscribe. You're very eloquent in expressing the exact feelings I have had.
Thanks so much for this video! Such an important topic. There are so many people who have no fucking clue and will label people as 'lazy' in a heartbeat. But just wanted to say there are also lots of able-bodied people who are standing with you and fighting the prejudice people like you face so often. ❤️
So happy to have a new video from you! You always word things so much better than I'm usually able to and ugh I appreciate the work you do so much. I have muscular dystrophy so I'm veeery visibly disabled and still deal with the 'lazy' comments, moreso when I was a kid but still get it sometimes. Like people accept that I cant walk, but not that I can't work full time or be independent like a lot of people my age. For most of my life I've super avoided most forms of accessibility because I was embarrassed to need them and would instead either struggle to get by without or just not participate in activities or stay home from outings etc etc. What really gets me is when you point out the ableism in arguments against these kinds of products, half the time you get (or at least I do) some weird push back like they're offended you'd even hint that they were talking negatively about disabled people and that "of course" disabled people are "the exception." Nah. Anyway I'm rambling but this video is great thank you for it!! (also final side note your room looks so magical and cozy I love it)
Thank you for making this. I'm not physically disabled, however I do have several severe mental health issues that qualify me for disability and also make it extremely difficult to do even basic tasks, regularly so. I have experienced, and watched friends and family wiith much more prominent disabilities experience, people regularly labeling things as excuses to be lazy, or just you gotta try harder, or just oh you're young you just need to get over it. All of this gets internalized and makes it that much harder because you start viewing your own self worth as dependent on how able bodied you are, how much you can fit this societal norm of..."not being lazy". I've even had people tell me the meds ive taken are just an excuse, and that I should just "try harder". My friends and I found this video extremely validating and an issue that's not talked about often enough. Disabled people aren't lazy, they're human.
Got in a rut because my husband called me lazy and said i wasnt even trying because i was too weak to take our daighter trick or treating. I didnt want to use my wheelchair because the streets are sooooo bad in the area and he tried to school me that they were fine. He has never used a wheelchair before. He said he 'eyeballed it' and they seem perfectly fine and rhat he could push me if i needed it. Ive been disabled our entire relationship. Occassionally he gets frustrated and calls me lazy and i just dont even try to educate him anymore, other than haring videos.
Annie, thank you so much for this. What you describe is my life too, the last decade of my life has been constant justification and has kept me trying to maintain the image of 'healthy' and avoid conflict with ignorant outsiders. And then at home, I used to keep that facade so my daughter didn't know how bad things are. It's negatively impacted my relationships to the point of chasing others away. It's even harder as I have no reliable family to support me. Edited to add: My most prized talent is cooking, which I did increasingly less of as my hands became more shaky and I became a danger to myself. Last Christmas, my partner bought me an instant pot and it has become my absolute favorite kitchen tool, and my Ninja food processor/blender is a close second. I wish the Ninja system wasn't so ridden with incompatibility between models, making it nearly impossible to stick with one motor base and just add accessories. They also don't clean well in the dishwasher due to weird crevices and hollow spaces.
Awesome video!! Thank you for your strength, wisdom, and eloquence in explaining this problem. I totally get it as I have dealt with this for many years from many people. I am in the process of waiting to be tested for EDS but I’ve had pretty significant trouble for over 20 years. It has gotten much worse over the years & now after nothing in my body seems to stay in place finally doctors are listening to me.
Well said, my dear. You have articulated things all able bodied peeps need to know. I wish I could tell you it gets better, but it hasn't for me. It's not just youth, I am 59. I've lived with chronic pain every day for almost a quarter of a century. I still get similar crap. I used to live in the country and worked like a lumberjack. Suddenly I couldn't any more. I put on weight. I've lost a hundred pounds. However, I'm still chubby. When I use the chair in stores, I get backlash for "laziness" too, partly because of my size.
People who don't live with chronic illnesses and disabilities simply don't understand how heartbreaking,frustrating, and scary it can be, nor do they seem to get that we still are blessed (some of us) enough to have good days and moments that are the very fabric of us keeping on going, as all humans (and animals) whether disabled or not, are always looking forward to more glorious moments that make life and living, both worthwhile, and able to keep thriving.....We are all in this life together, and will ALL face heartbreak, dissapointment, struggles, and disability, gaurenteed, so to those of you who haven't experienced this kind of suffering (yet), please be kind to others whom you deem as just being "lazy", as you don't know or understand how it really is for them, and we all need to stop "othering", as we will ALL also face death one day, and ALL that will matter then, (as it matters now) is how you lived your life to the best of your ability, and ONLY God himself will be our final judge.....we all need the precious Lord Jesus as human beings, and knowing Him makes the hugest difference, as he loves us all, and wants us to spend eternity in LIFE with him, where there will be no more diseases, sadness, evil, or death, but eternal joy and glory!!!!!!😭😭😭😅😀😁😂😃😄☺😅😯☺😊😀😁😂😃😆😅😀...to coin the words of Patch Adam's "death isn't the worse disease, INDIFFERENCE IS!!!!!!!!!!" God bless everyone!!!!!!!!!🙌🙎🙇🙆👨👩💑👧👦💏👶👴👪👫👬🙉🙈🙀😸😹💑👪👫👬👭👵👶👮👳💃👮👷🎅👼👯👰👲👱💂👮👳💃💓❤💓💜💓❤💓💜💓💛💓❤💓💙💓💖💓💛💜💓💚💓❤💓💙💓💔💕💞
I think I love you!!❤️💕😘 This is so spot on. I push WAYYYY past my limits every freaking day. I have hEDS (among other things) and am an ambulatory powered chair user. I also am a life coach (specializing in chronic illness) with my own coaching business. And I have a part time job. It’s basically like I’m working 3 full time jobs. Yet I still get harangued about being lazy, about not doing enough. I need to use an electric cart to do shopping - both because of pain and fatigue, as well as to try to scrimp and save my energy to do everything else. And - I’m a large woman (yes, fat). The looks and comments I get just make me so disgusted. “If you just got up and walked a little, exercised a little, you wouldn’t need that”. Ummm, you couldn’t be more wrong! I experience ableism all over the place, including at my job (that’s a whole other long story). I really think that a lot of ableism stems from fear. The realization an abled person has that they could step off a curb and be in my shoes for the rest of their life...well, that’s scary. I think all the judging and advice-giving (e.g. “go gluten free and you’ll be fine!”) is a way of managing that fear. I understand that but it doesn’t excuse it in any way. People, you need to get over yourselves! Thank you Annie - you are a beacon of truth, hope, and wisdom for me, and for disabled and chronically ill people everywhere.
I spent a long time discussing the word "lazy" in therapy before I even conceptualized that I might be disabled. It was a rough journey, and ended up delaying me coming to terms with the fact I even AM disabled, because it was always "Do I really need the rollator, or am I just lazy and want a portable chair?" I still don't let myself rest because it is in the back of my mind constantly. Do more do more do more do more. Thankfully, my friends understand and have learned not to use the word in harmful ways.
OMG! I needed this annie! Lately walking has become so much more of a struggle, but I'm kinda scared to say anything to my parents about it. I wish that my parents would park closer to the place that we're going (stores, baseball games, church, ect), because just that would make me feel a little better, but I always feel like my struggles are nothing compared to others.
Also my brother is always upset with me since I avoid going on the stairs more than once a day at all costs. It just hurts too much, but he's a priveledged almost teen boy who just doesn't get it.
I absolutely hate being called lazy, it makes me want to scream and cry at the same time. I'm 47, have had fibromyalgia syndrome since my teens and been called lazy too many times to count. Mostly by my own family, and occasionally by a friend (they'll never be a close one because of that). Thankyou for sharing your views and helping people understand the issues that affect us. I've spent the last 20 years learning how to pace myself, but still get into a mess because I need to prove I'm still productive and useful. I completely understand the need for these precut and semi-prepared foods. They're really helpful. I just wish they weren't encased in plastic. Plastic which is sometimes harder to remove than the original skin of the fruit. Smh!
Oh boy do I related to ALL of this! Before EDS, POTS & a few other illnesses made me unable to work I was an EMT & later an ER Nurse. Even AFTER I could no longer work those jobs I WENT BACK to college got my BA degree in Psychology & was halfway thru my Masters in Clinical Psychology when my dr’s clinic got scared due to the Opioid Hysteria and forced him to cut off all patients over a certain dosage. It took me 15 months to find a new dr & then 18 MORE months for him to get me BACK on my ORIGINAL dosage! Which just happened THIS MONTH! So I didn’t finish my degree because I couldn’t get out of bed or EVEN THINK with unmanaged pain. Anyway...my point is as a medical professional I SAW the uses for such products because I saw the patients who needed them! I never really understood WHY Most were SO GRATEFUL I helped them get something they needed without hassle. UNTIL the roles were reversed. 😕🤦🏻♀️ Also...I will FREQUENTLY use my crutches when in public or around extended family because without that VISUAL CUE that something is wrong they don’t help & tend to scold me for not doing more. No matter HOW MANY TIMES I explain that EDS IS GENETIC and NEVER “GETS BETTER/WELL”!!😡😡😡
Here thanks to Tiffany Ferguson's video. She referenced yours in it. For fresh pre cut food i've never thought of it before. I knew that precut frozen veggies could be very useful for disabled people or even just people that don't have a lot of time to cook but those precut fruits always seemed like sooo much waste, so much plastic for something that you could easily make yourself. I still feel like it's a problem to use so much plastic for most packages but it's interesting to be able to nuance this with the fact that some people really need this and it should be available to them. We just really should have a better management of ressources, packaging included, so that it would go to people that need it. I still feel that it's a problem that able bodied people buy those things though, just because... They can afford it instead of going for a fruit that they also could eat easily when eating outside.
This is so important, thank you for sharing it! I have felt this stigma on a cognitive level with ADHD, being told I was lazy despite giving 150% and running myself into the ground. And pre-cut foods have been a saving grace for me after developing some problems with my hands. As you said, they allow me to prepare myself a healthy meal when holding and pressing a knife is too much
I can relate so much with being distraught over how much society hates "laziness." I was constantly called lazy when I was a little younger and it worsened what was already pretty bad mental health. what they perceived as laziness was me struggling to have energy to do things because I was dealing with undiagnosed mental illness. it made me feel worse because I was healthy in every way and there was no reason for me to not have that energy but that was my reality and it made me hate myself. it didn't help that I'm also overweight, so that probably makes it easier to attach the term lazy to me. that term has become somewhat of a trigger because of all of that.
This is quite relatable, i have a problem with my vocal cords and can't do pretty much anything, and i have had people call me lazy, or ask why don't you get a job, i tell them i would if i could breath properly.
I understand how you feel. I have ceberal palsy and though I have always been disabled I find as I get older it gets harder to do some things I use to. I struggle with feeling lazy and useless at times. Lazy is different from being in pain and having something that take twice the energy to do similar things. Good job!
Something I was kinda laughing at myself at first, but then it grew on me, is the phone holder called lazy neck. I got one in August last year and I can highly highly recommend it! It’s so convenient to have your phone in it both for watching videos or browse Facebook on phone, or typing. I use mine all the time and it’s such a relief to be able to use my phone without having to hold it, and it also makes it easier to have my phone accessible while outside as I’m in a wheelchair (I play Pokémon Go when I’m out and the weather allows) So yeah, I can highly recommend the lazy neck! It has definitely helped my lazy EDS ligaments a lot!
Thanks so much! Fellow EDSer here and I get called lazy for being pushed in my chair.... that I can't self propel... amd treated as a burden on my boyfriend, yet I don't get a powerchair cause s.o. pushes me. Once a week. We live apart. If I do go out on my own in the neighbourhood I am scoffed at for me being lazy, weird. It's a constant battle between isolation or ableism and medical neglect.
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Does anyone else besides me ever notice that when people complain about “lazy products” it’s often over healthy foods like fruits and vegetables. I’ve never heard of any outrage over foods like, frozen chicken nuggets or microwaveable pizza. Heck even making those types of meals from scratch, is not considered to be the norm for most people. So it’s not okay to be “lazy” eating an orange, but it is okay to be “lazy” eating pizza you cooked in your microwave.
Also, all the other things that aren't food but help us out. I have remote controlled lights, which I guess could be said are for lazy people, but when I can't walk, I'd still like to see in my own house... Even things like Alexa, or other techy kind of things that make life easier/faster, can help us.
Ya know, it may actually be easier for me overall to cook a frozen pizza (which would kill my guts) than it would be to prepare an orange. Washing the orange, scrubbing it, squeezing the juice, & straining it would be my orange process. The fiber would also kill me is why I'd need to juice it. I have EDS & my finger hypermobility greatly affects my ability to do physical activities that require extended pressure. My fingers just continue to bend (hyperextend) backwards the longer I do a repetitive task. Then they lock up. Then I have to "unlock" them between each movement. Then they start to fail. I physically cannot complete tasks at the point I literally have Gumby fingers. Putting a pizza in the oven, even factoring in cleanup, is a lot less traumatic on my hands than preparing fruit.
That's a really good point & interesting thought.
Yes😂😂😂
@@olgachronics3273yes grocery delivery
@@princesskileyraeyes
I've heard people complain that "now baggers carry your groceries to your car for you because we've all become so lazy." I tell them that I think it's a great service for the elderly and the disabled, and I often get this weird look because people haven't thought of it before.
That's so weird because it used to be way more common, and most stores don't want to pay the labor for that now. Before I became disabled, I was a "courtesy clerk" (the industry term because, yeah, not supposed to be "baggers" anymore) and we weren't supposed to offer to take bags out so we could use our time elsewhere! I offered anyway because I was dying of boredom at the job and it was interesting. I never felt like anyone that took me up on it didn't genuinely need/appreciate my help! But now I have to beg to get help with my bags.
I was happy to help customers with their bags and anything else they needed help loading into their cars when I worked at a grocery store. It was nice to hear when they appreciated my help, including when a young person sounded embarrassed about needing help due to a shoulder injury (I didn't think they needed to feel embarrassed and was truly happy to help).
Years later, it hurts my shoulders just to handle a phone, like for typing this UA-cam comment (not to mention the neck/back/other EDS-affected tissue). I'm glad that I was helpful back when I could be, and I'm glad to know that, in theory, others may have a similarly non-judgmental attitude (most people I know are more judgmental and quick to jump to negative conclusions about others than I am, though; oh, well! 🤷).
Yes
im disabled myself and i worked as a digital shopper. i took grocery orders out to cars, and tbh i didnt really consider that.. i did very often serve disabled and elderly folk, but couldnt put 2 and 2 together lol.
Very true and insightful.
*I'm not disabled. I've never actually thought about how products that may seem unnecessary me could be something that gives a disabled person the ability to do something. This video really opened my eyes.
Thank you for being open minded and humble enough to recognize this
You're a unique one - thank you for choosing to keep an open & empathetic mind. ♡
I have dyslexia and ask for accommodations on tests people get mad because "why should you get extra time!" I can barely read.
@ThisIsMyRealName I think people just care about fairness and don't understand. I have a lot of empathy and understand that some people need to have things a different way for accessibility. I think other people don't get that and just see it as unfair.
I had the same problem as a child.
I _wish_ I had known that I had "executive function disorder" back when I was in community college and university _so that_ I could have gotten that extra time on tests. Maybe I would have actually finished one BEFORE time was called. (I suspect that I have dyslexia, too, but it was not detected in the neuropsych eval that I had a couple of years ago... I'm not sure if I really care about getting an official diagnosis for my dyslexia at this point in my life...)
@@sunglassesgirl I had a lot of common dyslexia traits and struggled with reading a lot as a kid so I found out very early. I had to take a new Dyslexia assessment for extra time on the SATS and my dyslexia was barely traceable. People adapt I think that might why they didn't say you had it.
Even as a person with a disability, I never thought about having my food cut up, because it didn't effect me. I saw it as wasteful and polluting. I never thought about people with this kind of disability, who need it in order to have a full, healthy life. Now that I have watched this video and have been educated, I see it differently. Could you consider that, "Those f**** arrogant ableist" are simply unaware? No one knows everything.
When you live in a meritocracy, you literally need to prove you're worthy of being alive. This holds marginalized people, especially disabled people, back so _so_ much. It makes us feel not worthy of asking for help or accessibility when we need it. I've been called "lazy" for not being able to work or study full-time due to my current mental amd physical health; hearing that I'm not deserving of accessibility hurts more than my physical pain some days.
Literally _no one_ enjoys being stared at or treated differently in public, no one chooses to live in constant pain and struggle to complete everyday tasks.
Ableism is systemic
MissPronounced + yes yes yes. It’s horrible.
you need to work to live tho, why should you get food and shelter if you dont contribute to society?
@@user-ux7dn3bl4h If you can't work, you can't work. Do you advocate killing everyone on disability?
@@user-ux7dn3bl4h so we should sacrifice our health? We don't choose our genes, or our health. We contribute the same % to society as everyone else, that % is just smaller for lots of disabled individuals because our resources such as energy are far more limited. We need to budget energy for the most basic of tasks, such as showering, brushing our hair and teeth etc. You expect us to contribute 9-5 like you, because you have the energy to do so. Many of us do not have that energy, and it'd be detrimental to our health to even try.
@@nunyabusiness6450 "we contribute the same %" and "that % is just as smaller" explain how you can contradict yourself so quickly?
I overwork myself so much - often to the detriment of my health - because of this stigma. Ugh.
Yes this is the sad reality of the impact of judgment or anxiety about judgment we get 😔
Your not alone this is most people unfortunately. I did it for some years but when I saw it wasn't worth it at all I chose to stop. I know of people who've worked extremely hard their whole life, rarely taking breaks until they were hospitalized.
And I have seen people who barely worked at all.
And what I find most interesting is that both people were at the same level in life.
Working hard and having a higher education does not always equal a successful financially comfortable life.
Doesn't mean you shouldn't try anyway.
Buy I'm not about to tire myself out to work trying to get a life I just may never get no matter how hard I work for it. That's a waste of time for me.
I remember the first time someone told me I wasn't being lazy. It blew my mind because I had been told that all my life up until that point.
Same here. I always called myself lazy until I found disability communities online.
Can we talk about how pre-cut foods are in impossible to open packages?
And way too expensive!
Yeah! What's with that? I tried to open a fruit package recently and because it refused to open easily and ended up spilling every where, I was so upset.
omg! i know! i recently bought a strawberry banana fruit mix for smoothies and it looks like there's no resealable zipper on the package.
My family calls me lazy 24/7. I just got a diagnostic of EDS Saturday but already had POTs diagnosis for 10+ years. Ty for sharing!!
Curvy Nerd same friend
Friends and family that have known me well for years as a workaholic, sporty, constantly on the go and ambitious young woman have seen me rapidly deteriorate to needing a rollator and walking stick just to get around, being bed bound for days or weeks at a time, and know my struggle. Yet they still call me lazy over and over again, and when called out on it they say it’s a joke - but it isn’t funny and I am not laughing. Lying in bed all day does not make me lazy, and I do not do it because I am lazy. My work doesn’t have a lift (elevator) and refuses to let me have a desk on the ground floor because everyone works upstairs, there is no accessible toilet, and I am not allowed to use the accessible parking (because that is for customers), but they believe that they are not discriminating against disabled employees (or customers visiting the building who need the loo). Lazy is such a loaded word and is so damaging. Xx
One minute in, and I'm already going YES YES YES, click like. :P
I read a Medium article called "Laziness does not exist" (great read!) and a part has stuck to me... "If a person’s behavior doesn’t make sense to you, it is because you are missing a part of their context. It’s that simple." Our culture could do a lot better with practicing compassionate thinking, and that phrasing rolls through my mind whenever I'm quick to judge someone.
It hurts so much to be called lazy; it's the worst kind of insult to imply something innately wrong with a person, and/or lacking willpower. Just using my adrenaline magic and quietly trying not to die, folks, please move along. ;)
Thanks for this amazing quote
I was only angry about the pre-cut food for environmental reasons because it required so much extra plastic packaging, but I never considered it was so important for disabled people. Your video made me look at this situation from another point of view, so thank you very much!
Also I feel like precut foods would be really useful for someone who's depression is really bad at the time and can not trust themselves with a knife or a person who is traveling and doesn't have access to a kitchen or a parent who needs a snack for their kids while they are already out and away from the home.
Thank you for mentioning depression, a few of my friends dealt with what you mentioned. For me sometimes when I'm well to get up but still not enough to function I don't have the power and motivation to hold things properly, so I don't even try in fear of disappointing myself, wasting mental energy or making a mess. Having precut food would mean I get to eat something on a day like this.
That's interesting. I stopped cooking as much when I developed chronic migraines. Recently I tried getting back into the kitchen and have cut myself more times this half year than I can recall in many years, so much now that I mark it on my migraine calendar as a symptom. I like buying fresh foods and vegetables to prep, but I didn't think about the safety aspect of precut food beyond convenience. I realize that recently I've been beating myself up, a lot, for not cooking my own meals like I used to, but not remembering until I'm about to try to cook, all the little accidents and oopsies I've made when in a fog that could be dangerous. I guess I should be nicer to myself and allow myself to buy the pre-cut frozen strawberries sometimes.
I've been made to feel like I'm being over dramatic if asked for help or talk about my illness .. As well as a hypochondriac.
But being called lazy is the worse for me.. I've had it all my life and if you believe them and push through you do yourself more damage and pay for it through pain.. Plus you reinforce their perception.. you can do it without repercussions.. and continue to perpetuate the myth that I'm only worthy and My life is only valid if Im constantly productive. .and independent..
But If you listen to your body and use the equipment which can help with your everyday existence or god forbid you asked for help and accessibility then Your made to feel useless and not worthy and not able to advocate for yourself..its truly a vicious circle and isn't helped by the media/medical profession.. That most people with disabilities are faking it or can either do all or nothing.. X
♥ I needed to hear this today..♥ Thank you
I love you. You aren't lazy, and neither am I. Aloha from Hawaii. You do you.
Everything is so much harder to do in a wheelchair, that it baffles me anyone could think it's laziness. It's like calling someone lazy for having a prosthetic leg.
I like your video. I’m struggling with internalized ableism and asking for accommodations that I need but I don’t always feel I deserve because I sometimes feel I don’t try hard enough. Even if I am running myself emotionally into the ground.
Saaaame here >__
You're not alone
Story of my life. It's so hard to learn to be assertive and advocate for yourself, especially when even your inner monologue is gaslighting you.
I had the same problem for years and years. My condition is progressive, so I started out trying to hide it and avoid any kind of appropriate help as long as possible. When I look back now, there are so many things that could have made my life so much easier and could have given me the energy for other things besides pretending I didn’t have any limitations.
Now that I’m in a wheelchair, I can’t hide it, but I put off getting a power wheelchair even when I knew I would be able to get around so much easier and be more independent with one.
It’s so awful that we will deny ourselves the help we need because it might look “too disabled”. This society is so focused on fitness and beauty it’s ridiculous. People should be able to get the help and accommodations they need without feeling the need to hide it. It’s worse that we have to worry about not looking disabled enough for the public. It’s amazing how often I get dirty looks for being disabled, but if someone ever thinks you are faking the reaction is a thousand times worse.
I always wonder who pre-cut food was actually made for. It’s almost impossible to get accommodations made for people with disabilities, that many times it’s just an accident that something ends up being useful for disabled people. I honestly wonder if it’s the same thing in this case.
Found through Breadtube and very happy we did. Thank you for explaining how perceptions of laziness weave itself into ableism. We've found this not only with physical disabilities but mental ones as well.
I was undiagnosed with POTS for 5+ years, and I was so, so ill. Working was out of the question; I was in school but could only handle a couple of classes at a time. I suffered so much just getting through each day and I felt debilitating hopelessness, but somehow I pushed through. I felt like I was at 150% capacity all the time, constantly hitting my limits and dragging past them. Even though I was literally doing everything I could (and then some), judgement was all around me. People would ask me why I was in school part time, why I wasn't working, why I didn't this or that. My illness is mostly invisible and even my close friends didn't really get it. Even when people were nice, I could tell that they thought that it couldn't be that bad, and that clearly I could (and should) be doing more.
Fast forward to now--diagnosis and treatment have given me back so much, and I'm so privileged to be able to say that. I'm still disabled, but I can meet the expectations placed on me. This year I've had two jobs and was in school full time. Sometimes I feel like I'm at my limit--at 100%, but never at 150% like before. And yet people give me an incredible amount of validation, telling me that they're impressed by how hard I'm working and how great I'm doing. This feedback is bittersweet and it honestly upsets me sometimes, because I know that my younger self worked a million times harder and all she ever received were microaggressions and people vaguely implying that she was lazy. I want to tell people, if you want to know what a hard working person looked like, remember back to me five years ago. You may not have noticed, but she worked so much harder. You never know how hard someone is working just to do something that you would find trivial. Minimal tangible accomplishment does NOT imply no effort.
This.
I've had so many moments of I'd eat this fruit if it was already cut, but it isn't so it's chips I guess.
Wtf
Exactly!
i'm so sick of people being so judgmental of people with disabilities, i wish the judging and gossip would stop and we can just accept each other for who we are
On a lighter note: pre cut onions are a blessing to everyone! No more stinging eyes!
On a more serious note: I am tired of people being shamed for other people’s assumptions and superficial based presumptions. And this video hits the nail on the head.
While not officially a disability nor even a chronic illness, I have very sensitive and severe anaphylactic reaction to airborne peanut allergens, to the extent where I was hospitalised 11 times in 2018 because of it. As such I had been put on strong steroids to try to help my immune system a bit and to help me with the after effects of anaphylaxis. In this period I was also trying to lose weight, but instead the reverse happened and I ballooned. I was often told I was clearly unmotivated to lose weight (as I already started out as being obese) and that it wasn’t the steroids causing the weight gain but my lack of self control as steroids “only increase your appetite”. This was completely false. People need to stop being armchair doctors.
This was very eye opening. I definitely had those moments when I would judge certain products for its "laziness". Ableism is something i have struggled to fully be aware of and this channel definitely helped me try and be a better person
I often feel guilty for using accommodations that I have in place because of my disability. I have autism (and the accompanied anxiety, sensory issues, fatigue/sleep issues, migraines, adhd, executive disfunction- you get the deal). I have a job coach and have flexible attendance at work to help mitigate my disability. I had a very overwhelming day, a splitting headache, and really needed a break from work today. I didn’t ask to because I worry that my coworkers will be upset that I am allowed to move my hours when they are not.
I have autism and cerebral palsy actually, I understand
Autism doesn't cause migraines for me, but i guess it affects different people differently, it's tension headaches mostly for me, and i have cerebral palsy which also causes pain, my neck and back ache a lot, and my hands and my bladder is messed up too, i urinate frequently and i can't stay dry at night sometimes
I remember when the precut avocados came out and honestly I looked for them because I have never been able to get the strength to get the pit out an avocados. It would have actually allowed me to be able to eat an avocado, or use it in foods.
I just had one of those annoying experiences of people trying to shame me about a parking space. My car was overheating, so I pulled off the freeway and into a strip mall, parked in the disabled space in front of a Subway and went in to have lunch and let the car cool down. When I was done I popped open my hood to check the coolant level. I was actually walking with my cane. A guy in a truck drove by and shouted out, "That space isn't for that!" I walked out from behind my raised hood, so that he could see my cane. He looked embarrassed and drove on. I was so annoyed by him, my car, and the fact that I have Lupus, which means that being out in the sun trying to deal with my car was going to make me sick. Sure enough, I broke out in a rash and got sick to my stomach later. 😥
Even your own family who have raised you and know of your disabilities and what they do to you & see you at your worst & best days also can come in saying your making it up and or your lazy! Really can't fathom this ableism!
Thank you for talking about this subject. As a Potsie with chronic pain, I have been called lazy many times, and side-eyed on the occasions that I need to use a wheelchair (such as going in and out of airplanes, since flying really messes with my POTS). It's so messed up how much ableism is out there and how those of us with invisible illnesses/disabilities are looked down on. If more people spent time researching invisible disabilities, instead of making assumptions about people with them, the world would be a much better place.
To anyone reading this that needs to hear it, you are loved. You are valid. You are not being lazy.
I sometimes feel like a lot of people just like to ignore others who can't do the stuff their doing and then when their come in contact with those people their getting to cut in line some where or getting great seeding at event. So they make really rude comment adout the people because their not think. At lest when I have confronted some of these people they do apologize when I tell them that they don't know that the person who the just insulted is going though and some time they even apologize to the person if they even hear the rude commant.
You know how many times I needed a disabled parking or needed a front row or disabled accessible seat and a “normal” person would refuse to give it to you.. just walk for 35 years limping.. to walk upstairs sideways like a crab because your hips are screwed and wired shut… man, F people…
I've had a self-proclaimed workaholic tell me that I was "just making excuses for the way I live" simply because I wasn't able to do much physically and that during a severe hypoglycemic episode I couldn't finish moving a bunch of stuff from one room to another, yet after eating and a nap I was able to finish in 15 minutes, so she didn't believe me that I hadn't been dealing with something that seriously compromised my physical ability to do anything (this person also refuses to understand the real definition of "disability"). That was probably the worst I've gotten, and I keep my contact with that person to an absolute minimum for that very reason.
I haven't had people try to tell me that I shouldn't be using mobility aids or a handicapped parking space, thankfully (the worst I got was a rude kid across the aisle at the store very loudly ask me what happened to me, which I merely ignored), but a good portion of my college classmates were (very politely) curious as to why I was able to ride and take care of my horse when they only saw me in a wheelchair the rest of the time. I merely gave them a simple answer (usually something about when I'm at the barn is all the walking I'm able to do in a day), and they were kind enough to just take it (I think they were actually mostly concerned about whether I was okay and that something serious hadn't suddenly happened, which was helpful); a very select few who I felt comfortable knowing it, after several months, were told the real reason.
Thank you for making videos like this! I've definitively been guilty of making fun of products like these before and it's because of informative videos like yours that I've learnt to think before I judge.
Thank you for saying you believe me and understanding that I am doing the best I can. That means a lot to me because a lot of people don’t seem to understand how difficult it can be to do “normal things” when you have a disability.
"I believe you" wow... you honestly made me cry. no ones ever said that to me before :'c thank you for this video
I have a chronic condition due to a head injury. What’s really bad is this is so prevalent in our society I’ve internalized it and get made at myself for being lazy when I’m having a bad day.
I have Cerebral Palsy & I just wanted too say thank you for making this video it was so needed! ♥️👍
I understand because i have cerebral palsy too, My body is in pain, my hands, my back and my neck ache a lot and i sometimes pee myself a little while sleeping, cerebral palsy causes bladder leakage as well, I should wear protective underwear to bed just in case of an accident because my sheets and clothes get wet, i didn't mind wearing them as a teenager, I've actually struggled with urinary incontinence for my entire life, thankfully i rarely have accidents during the day unless i have to pee really badly, it's just when i'm sleeping that i have a problem
Though my cp is a bit more mild I do have a lot of those same issues and at times it can be so frustrating and seem impossible to deal with and that’s when I usually count my blessings. I also have a channel dedicated to cp and our journey as as well as the struggles. If you ever need support or have questions I’m here!
Subscribed, you're a lovely woman
danielgartin6993 Thank you love! ❤️
This really hit close to home for me. I'm disabled, and my mother (who was fully aware of my disabilities) would frequently push me not only beyond my own limits as someone with my disabilities, but also beyond even the limits of those more able than myself, and I would often get so exhausted that even breathing hurt, but when I would take breaks, I would get yelled at for being lazy, even though I was often sick, or in excruciating pain, and when I would let her know, she would complain that I was always in pain. I finally left recently, thank god, but I'm still currently struggling with my own internalized issues because of it. I nearly cried watching this. It's too real for so many of us, and I hate it. I'm not even going to get into how in my late teens I struggled with the thought that I was too useless to even exist.
Thankyou. My condition is different than yours, but I can seem lazy, feel lazy. Sometimes I am lazy. Sometimes, I wonder myself.
I remember that ad campaign. I also remember the how I went off on them. I guess that's why I'm enjoying Home Chef so much right now. Nobody is making rude comments, I choose what I want to eat, it gets delivered to my door, everything is preportioned and separated into its own bags for each meal, and comes with easy recipe cards. As someone with vEDS and POTS, I look for meals that are fast and easy to digest(I also just found out I have a hernia!). I can't stand in the kitchen and cook for more than a few minutes. Sometimes, I just have cottage cheese for dinner. I did loose one of my best friends over my illness. Thinking about it over the past few months though, was it really a big lose for me? I always went to her when she needed... she never came to me when I needed. 🤔
Thank you. It's very reassuring to see a young person speaking out. I have Ehlers and I am 59. Each year my world becomes smaller because of my body. I was diagnosed by accident when my son was referred to a geneticist. My son has Ehlers, Autism and ADHD. He was 21and I was 47 when we learned about Ehlers. I began struggling when I became pregnant and my hips kept dislocating. After my son was born I rolled over in bed and dislocated 2 vertebrae between my shoulders. My son and I have been put through hell because of this "your lazy" attitude. We were at a mall and use the mall scooters and I had to take the employee to task because my son doesn't look disabled. He was called "lazy". My own mother just a few years ago called me fat and lazy because I used a walker and scooter. Keep up the great job of bringing these antiquated preconceived attitudes towards disabled individuals. Your voice is strong and it helps to know that you will speak the truth.
the thunder at 12:10 was really cool for accidental tension
thank you for the education! i really appreciate the work you're doing here
Thanks so much for speaking up and calling out Ableism! Myasthenia Gravis (MG) is a rare autoimmune neuromuscular disease affecting vision, speaking, swallowing, use of arms, use of legs, and breathing, etc. Using muscles increases weakness! Affected muscle(s) and degree of impairment can fluctuate from hour to hour, day to day, and person to person. MG typically affects women under 40 and men over 60 - but can manifest at any time. Also, some people are born with Congenital Myasthenic Syndrome (CMS).
Thank you so much for making this. After being diagnosed with fibromyalgia and arthritis last year, I struggle a lot with people thinking I'm lazy because I can't come out and socialize or I can't keep the house clean or I can't keep up on chores and it really does hurt my feelings. The few chores that I do every day are usually extremely painful and take so much out of me that I'm just too tired to go out and do things afterwards. Luckily my boyfriend understands but not everybody is as kind. Sometimes I have to use the electric wheelchair at the supermarket and I always get tons of looks and snide comments when I'm using it because I look young and am only 30. I have one of those plastic contraptions that helps me get my socks on in the morning because I'm usually the worst in the morning, and recently I saw a bunch of people making fun of it online saying that it's the most lazy thing that I ever saw and if you can't put your socks on for yourself then you might as well stop trying anything, because you're just too lazy to live. It was really upsetting
I feel this. It is never enough for some people. And the "maybe you din't even try" or "maybe you aren't trying hard enough" are things I have heard way too often in response to dyslexia and hearing issues. And even if I don't hear those things from the people around me now I have still heard them so often that I expect them and I still have built in fears of those situations. Especially as I slowly loos the ability to stand for long periods of time. Thank you. I needed to hear some of that again.
I'm crying now ... Thank you for a most accurate & relevant video, Annie !
I love this ❤ I can relate so much, I also have EDS, POTS, and chronic fatigue/M.E/CFS, and most people don't understand the invisible disabilities and need for aids. Thank you for making all of these videos, I find them so helpful.
If I wasn't emotionally exhausted, today, I'd be crying. Thank you for making these videos. They are on point and express accurately what I've been feeling for years. I have Cptsd with the biggest symptom being endless nightmares and stress dreams. It has left me unable to hold down a job. This means a great deal to me. Thank you.💜💜💜🎁
I had to leave another comment. I am BEYOND appreciative of you for doing this. I am constantly hearing from friends who have "invisible disabilities" (or even visible) who get so much grief for using disabled parking spots or who have families/"friends" who just don't believe that they are disabled for some reason. More people should do videos like this! I have Multiple Sclerosis and Fibromyalgia. I am also a caregiver and a Reiki practitioner so I CONSTANTLY hear things like this. As I always say - dealing with other people's attitudes is often harder to deal with than the disabilities themselves which is totally unfair, imnsho.
You remind me so much of Jaquie from chronically Jaquie. Now that she has passed on I look up to you for strength and knowledge in the disability world. Thanks to the both of you I feel its ok for me to have any mobility aids I need for my illness. Im slowly gaining the confidence I need to become a part time wheelchair user.
😢I just suffered through an old friend come to my house and recorded and called me name's because my area is too messy 😢I 🙏 pleaded 🥺 with him that as part of my spiritual beliefs my soul can become captured therefore I covered my face with a towel, he then ripped it from me.
thank you for continuing to stand up for this community. it's so exhausting have to justify our own existence all the time smh. btw i love the purple lighting in this video.
I have been accused of both being lazy (because I could not walk all over a university campus) and of being "too type A" and not taking enough time for rest and self-care by the same person
I absolutely love your channel. As a fellow zebra, a slightly overweight woman, and a human f**king being going through a lot of health struggles I resonate with so much of your content. Thank you for you awareness for able bodied people whom don't understand what exactly we go through 💙🦓
I hate that so many think that way, I had gastric sleeve surgery in May and had a complication almost died, lost a lot of blood had to have a second emergency surgery. I was super weak when I got home walking and going up the stairs is so hard and exhausting, I would go up the stairs get to the top and have to sit immediately and take 10 to 20 minutes to recuperate.
I was getting better over time but then I got sick, the nausea was so bad was was throwing up for three weeks, didn’t eat any food for that whole time,
I was dehydrated more than once, my body was starting to starve. I had no energy to walk the whole three weeks so now my whole body is partially numb from no use while I was sick I hoping it will get better and it’s not nerve damage.
I just got out of the hospital and I hated using a wheelchair to get to the car, it’s a long way from my room to the parking zone, there was no way I would make it.
I’m going to Walmart tomorrow and I have to use the powered carts they have, but I hate when I have to get up to reach something because of the looks people give me, also I’m 21 chunky and always feel like when people see me using the powered cart that they think I’m just fat and was to lazy walk around Walmart.
I hope over time people will be more educated because your disability or reason you have to use mobility help is none of there business.
Well put. I've been left in seriously life-threatening situations before because people would rather believe that I prefer to lean on others and just need to take responsibility for myself, rather than seeing that I was so incapacitated that I literally could not help myself. It's a real miracle I survived. You are right. This is a huge problem. The fanaticism with this is insane.
Just recently I started I started watching your videos and wow, so many of them are hitting home. I have severe chronic migraine, chronic leg and back pain (caused by scoliosis, anemia, a previous knee injury, and I'm pretty sure there's something else going on), I get tired, light headed, and out of breath extremely easily and I can't recount the amount of times I've been called lazy by my parents, teachers, friends, and other people in my life. "Oh you just need to get out more" "You're too young to be that miserable, just go for a run or something" and my personal favorite, "Sitting is unprofessional and lazy, I'm sure you can stand for a few hours" from my former Girl Scout leader at a cookie booth, even though she knew about my issues. (And there was a chair AT the booth!) I've been accused of faking my illnesses to get out of exercise and school work, and called dramatic for taking attention from "real" disabled people. Before calling someone lazy, try actually talking to them and hear their side of the story! (Also, keep in mind that it is not their job to defend themselves and "prove" their disability to you, just mind your business!)
I am literally crying right now. Thank you so much for stating this out loud.
This is so true! It's also many of those as-seen-on-tv products that the commercials have able-bodied actors doing things people make fun of, when in reality those products would be so helpful for many disabled people. So many of those commercials have people knocking things over or dropping things in ridiculous ways, so people call them products for lazy people who can't be bothered to do things properly. But if you imagine a disabled person in the same situation, it becomes clear how useful some of these products can be and why those tasks that seem easy to the average able-bodied person can actually be really difficult for some of us.
We are enough. We know our pain. I am tired of people trying to gaslight and shame people who need mobility devices. Because I do, I know what it feels like to not have the energy to do a "simple" task like cut up vegetables. This smear campaign is a sickening video and a huge step backwards. At least it is exposing the ugly truth in an ugly light.
Well said. So many more people need to see this video. Gaslighting is the perfect term to describe this. I've lost numerous friends and family who have told me my disability( dysautonomia, most likely POTS, and chronic pain)are all in my head.
I used to be a workaholic and now that I can't work, I feel like I don't have a right to exist. I was misdiagnosed for decades and my physician wouldn't support my disability claim.
I honestly feel being lazy in most cases is either not true laziness or even it is it morally neutral trait.
WE ARE ENOUGH! thank you so much for this. a little understanding goes a long way - and i wish that this extended to people with disabilities more often. i see you, i hear you, may your day be full of understanding people in your virtual life if it’s not a day you leave the house or in people who cross your path when you have enough spoons to be out and about. 💜
Ooh I'm excited for this video topic
I also have EDS, and I buy prewashed potatoes from the grocery store. A friend recently went off at me about how pointless and wasteful the individually packaged prewashed potatoes are, and all I could think was, if it weren't for those accessible potatoes, the pain in my hands and wrists from scrubbing potatoes would have meant I would not have been able to eat it at all. I don't pay extra for those potatoes just to be lazy, I pay it because it is the only way I could eat them on many days!
I wish ableist awfulness didn't so often masquerade as environmentalism :(
Even though we have never met, and you don't even know about my conditions, thank you for believing me. I hadn't realised how badly I needed to hear those words. I believe you too, and you are enough Annie, more than enough, you are brilliant
As a female that was born disabled, thanks to vacterl association, and am now 30, this video made me cry. So many times i've heard "you're too young to be in all the pain, you're lying" (I don't know what it means to be pain free) "you're too young to need a cane" "you're too young to need that wheelchair" "you can walk for 1 minute, you don't need that" Never mind i'm always in pain and my feet and legs always hurt from medical issues and on a good day...I can take the pain for a couple minutes before it gets too bad. That's at best. So I can generally get to the bathroom and back in my house. On a bad day? I can't walk at all. Even that good day means I can't go out without a wheelchair if i'm going to be going around somewhere. I may just be 30 but my health just keeps getting worse and i'm doing what I can, but that isn't much. Or at least it seems that way to everyone else. I sometimes end up injuring myself without meaning too because I did more than I should have. Love this video.
I'm sharing this video with my family members and friends. As someone with several bad health issues, I often have people judge me for being "lazy" when I'm not. You explained this topic very well and I just want to thank you for spreading awareness about this topic.
Oh yer I went to mainstream school in the UK and all the way through all I heard from teachers was ‘Jemma’s lazy’ or ‘she could try harder’ I was working my but off! Same at uni and even now friends make comments. I’ve actually had to have therapy because I had such bad hang ups about being labeled as lazy.
I don't push myself to the limit physically. But mentally I am overwhelmed.
I have a sleep disorder and have for most if not all of my life. But the symptoms really started to show when I got to be a teenager. The world is obsessed with labeling teenagers as lazy, and I heard it many many times because of how late I would sleep in or how many times I’d fall asleep in class. Every time I heard people mock lazy millennials and how teenagers just want to sleep all day and not do their homework or their chores, I felt more and more isolated. Even when I’m awake the fatigue is so debilitating that I don’t have the energy for a lot of things. But abled people just compare it to when they don’t want to do something. I really WANT to do a lot of things, I just can’t. Thank you Annie for your thoughts on this topic. This disabled “lazy” person appreciates it so much ❤️
Thank you for this video. I’ve never related to a video this much. I have fibromyalgia and I’m suffering with anxiety based on societal expectations. I needed to hear all these things in the confident way you delivered it. Thank you, really ❤️
There are so many things that are just "normal" in our culture that are so fucking ableist right beneath the surface. I wish more people saw your videos. They have helped me unpack a lot of ableist beliefs I didn't even know I had and made me feel less alone as a young person with a (granted, early stage) chronic illness (lymphedema in the house!).Thank you for the precious energy you put into advocating, educating, and bringing beauty into the world while you are also fighting to survive.
EDS, POTS, MCAS, Autoimmune Encephalitis here. Felt every bit of this. Instant subscribe. You're very eloquent in expressing the exact feelings I have had.
Thanks so much for this video! Such an important topic. There are so many people who have no fucking clue and will label people as 'lazy' in a heartbeat. But just wanted to say there are also lots of able-bodied people who are standing with you and fighting the prejudice people like you face so often. ❤️
So happy to have a new video from you! You always word things so much better than I'm usually able to and ugh I appreciate the work you do so much. I have muscular dystrophy so I'm veeery visibly disabled and still deal with the 'lazy' comments, moreso when I was a kid but still get it sometimes. Like people accept that I cant walk, but not that I can't work full time or be independent like a lot of people my age. For most of my life I've super avoided most forms of accessibility because I was embarrassed to need them and would instead either struggle to get by without or just not participate in activities or stay home from outings etc etc. What really gets me is when you point out the ableism in arguments against these kinds of products, half the time you get (or at least I do) some weird push back like they're offended you'd even hint that they were talking negatively about disabled people and that "of course" disabled people are "the exception." Nah. Anyway I'm rambling but this video is great thank you for it!! (also final side note your room looks so magical and cozy I love it)
Thank you for making this. I'm not physically disabled, however I do have several severe mental health issues that qualify me for disability and also make it extremely difficult to do even basic tasks, regularly so. I have experienced, and watched friends and family wiith much more prominent disabilities experience, people regularly labeling things as excuses to be lazy, or just you gotta try harder, or just oh you're young you just need to get over it. All of this gets internalized and makes it that much harder because you start viewing your own self worth as dependent on how able bodied you are, how much you can fit this societal norm of..."not being lazy". I've even had people tell me the meds ive taken are just an excuse, and that I should just "try harder". My friends and I found this video extremely validating and an issue that's not talked about often enough. Disabled people aren't lazy, they're human.
Thank you so much for this, I struggle with taking care of myself or keeping my room clean and I've felt so guilty and not enough because of it.
I have just found your channel and relate to so many points and then think so it's not just me who sees and hears these things.
WONDERFUL video, thank you for this!
Got in a rut because my husband called me lazy and said i wasnt even trying because i was too weak to take our daighter trick or treating. I didnt want to use my wheelchair because the streets are sooooo bad in the area and he tried to school me that they were fine. He has never used a wheelchair before. He said he 'eyeballed it' and they seem perfectly fine and rhat he could push me if i needed it. Ive been disabled our entire relationship. Occassionally he gets frustrated and calls me lazy and i just dont even try to educate him anymore, other than haring videos.
Annie, thank you so much for this. What you describe is my life too, the last decade of my life has been constant justification and has kept me trying to maintain the image of 'healthy' and avoid conflict with ignorant outsiders. And then at home, I used to keep that facade so my daughter didn't know how bad things are. It's negatively impacted my relationships to the point of chasing others away. It's even harder as I have no reliable family to support me. Edited to add: My most prized talent is cooking, which I did increasingly less of as my hands became more shaky and I became a danger to myself. Last Christmas, my partner bought me an instant pot and it has become my absolute favorite kitchen tool, and my Ninja food processor/blender is a close second. I wish the Ninja system wasn't so ridden with incompatibility between models, making it nearly impossible to stick with one motor base and just add accessories. They also don't clean well in the dishwasher due to weird crevices and hollow spaces.
Awesome video!! Thank you for your strength, wisdom, and eloquence in explaining this problem. I totally get it as I have dealt with this for many years from many people. I am in the process of waiting to be tested for EDS but I’ve had pretty significant trouble for over 20 years. It has gotten much worse over the years & now after nothing in my body seems to stay in place finally doctors are listening to me.
People say the same thing about meal kit deliveries. I miss having that service so much, I've barely been able to cook since.
Well said, my dear. You have articulated things all able bodied peeps need to know. I wish I could tell you it gets better, but it hasn't for me. It's not just youth, I am 59. I've lived with chronic pain every day for almost a quarter of a century. I still get similar crap. I used to live in the country and worked like a lumberjack. Suddenly I couldn't any more. I put on weight. I've lost a hundred pounds. However, I'm still chubby. When I use the chair in stores, I get backlash for "laziness" too, partly because of my size.
People who don't live with chronic illnesses and disabilities simply don't understand how heartbreaking,frustrating, and scary it can be, nor do they seem to get that we still are blessed (some of us) enough to have good days and moments that are the very fabric of us keeping on going, as all humans (and animals) whether disabled or not, are always looking forward to more glorious moments that make life and living, both worthwhile, and able to keep thriving.....We are all in this life together, and will ALL face heartbreak, dissapointment, struggles, and disability, gaurenteed, so to those of you who haven't experienced this kind of suffering (yet), please be kind to others whom you deem as just being "lazy", as you don't know or understand how it really is for them, and we all need to stop "othering", as we will ALL also face death one day, and ALL that will matter then, (as it matters now) is how you lived your life to the best of your ability, and ONLY God himself will be our final judge.....we all need the precious Lord Jesus as human beings, and knowing Him makes the hugest difference, as he loves us all, and wants us to spend eternity in LIFE with him, where there will be no more diseases, sadness, evil, or death, but eternal joy and glory!!!!!!😭😭😭😅😀😁😂😃😄☺😅😯☺😊😀😁😂😃😆😅😀...to coin the words of Patch Adam's "death isn't the worse disease, INDIFFERENCE IS!!!!!!!!!!" God bless everyone!!!!!!!!!🙌🙎🙇🙆👨👩💑👧👦💏👶👴👪👫👬🙉🙈🙀😸😹💑👪👫👬👭👵👶👮👳💃👮👷🎅👼👯👰👲👱💂👮👳💃💓❤💓💜💓❤💓💜💓💛💓❤💓💙💓💖💓💛💜💓💚💓❤💓💙💓💔💕💞
I think I love you!!❤️💕😘 This is so spot on. I push WAYYYY past my limits every freaking day. I have hEDS (among other things) and am an ambulatory powered chair user. I also am a life coach (specializing in chronic illness) with my own coaching business. And I have a part time job. It’s basically like I’m working 3 full time jobs. Yet I still get harangued about being lazy, about not doing enough. I need to use an electric cart to do shopping - both because of pain and fatigue, as well as to try to scrimp and save my energy to do everything else. And - I’m a large woman (yes, fat). The looks and comments I get just make me so disgusted. “If you just got up and walked a little, exercised a little, you wouldn’t need that”. Ummm, you couldn’t be more wrong! I experience ableism all over the place, including at my job (that’s a whole other long story). I really think that a lot of ableism stems from fear. The realization an abled person has that they could step off a curb and be in my shoes for the rest of their life...well, that’s scary. I think all the judging and advice-giving (e.g. “go gluten free and you’ll be fine!”) is a way of managing that fear. I understand that but it doesn’t excuse it in any way. People, you need to get over yourselves!
Thank you Annie - you are a beacon of truth, hope, and wisdom for me, and for disabled and chronically ill people everywhere.
I spent a long time discussing the word "lazy" in therapy before I even conceptualized that I might be disabled. It was a rough journey, and ended up delaying me coming to terms with the fact I even AM disabled, because it was always "Do I really need the rollator, or am I just lazy and want a portable chair?"
I still don't let myself rest because it is in the back of my mind constantly. Do more do more do more do more. Thankfully, my friends understand and have learned not to use the word in harmful ways.
OMG! I needed this annie! Lately walking has become so much more of a struggle, but I'm kinda scared to say anything to my parents about it. I wish that my parents would park closer to the place that we're going (stores, baseball games, church, ect), because just that would make me feel a little better, but I always feel like my struggles are nothing compared to others.
Also my brother is always upset with me since I avoid going on the stairs more than once a day at all costs. It just hurts too much, but he's a priveledged almost teen boy who just doesn't get it.
I absolutely hate being called lazy, it makes me want to scream and cry at the same time. I'm 47, have had fibromyalgia syndrome since my teens and been called lazy too many times to count. Mostly by my own family, and occasionally by a friend (they'll never be a close one because of that).
Thankyou for sharing your views and helping people understand the issues that affect us. I've spent the last 20 years learning how to pace myself, but still get into a mess because I need to prove I'm still productive and useful.
I completely understand the need for these precut and semi-prepared foods. They're really helpful. I just wish they weren't encased in plastic. Plastic which is sometimes harder to remove than the original skin of the fruit. Smh!
Oh boy do I related to ALL of this! Before EDS, POTS & a few other illnesses made me unable to work I was an EMT & later an ER Nurse. Even AFTER I could no longer work those jobs I WENT BACK to college got my BA degree in Psychology & was halfway thru my Masters in Clinical Psychology when my dr’s clinic got scared due to the Opioid Hysteria and forced him to cut off all patients over a certain dosage. It took me 15 months to find a new dr & then 18 MORE months for him to get me BACK on my ORIGINAL dosage! Which just happened THIS MONTH! So I didn’t finish my degree because I couldn’t get out of bed or EVEN THINK with unmanaged pain.
Anyway...my point is as a medical professional I SAW the uses for such products because I saw the patients who needed them! I never really understood WHY Most were SO GRATEFUL I helped them get something they needed without hassle. UNTIL the roles were reversed. 😕🤦🏻♀️ Also...I will FREQUENTLY use my crutches when in public or around extended family because without that VISUAL CUE that something is wrong they don’t help & tend to scold me for not doing more. No matter HOW MANY TIMES I explain that EDS IS GENETIC and NEVER “GETS BETTER/WELL”!!😡😡😡
Here thanks to Tiffany Ferguson's video. She referenced yours in it. For fresh pre cut food i've never thought of it before. I knew that precut frozen veggies could be very useful for disabled people or even just people that don't have a lot of time to cook but those precut fruits always seemed like sooo much waste, so much plastic for something that you could easily make yourself. I still feel like it's a problem to use so much plastic for most packages but it's interesting to be able to nuance this with the fact that some people really need this and it should be available to them. We just really should have a better management of ressources, packaging included, so that it would go to people that need it. I still feel that it's a problem that able bodied people buy those things though, just because... They can afford it instead of going for a fruit that they also could eat easily when eating outside.
Thank you. I needed to hear this today.
This is so important, thank you for sharing it! I have felt this stigma on a cognitive level with ADHD, being told I was lazy despite giving 150% and running myself into the ground. And pre-cut foods have been a saving grace for me after developing some problems with my hands. As you said, they allow me to prepare myself a healthy meal when holding and pressing a knife is too much
I can relate so much with being distraught over how much society hates "laziness." I was constantly called lazy when I was a little younger and it worsened what was already pretty bad mental health. what they perceived as laziness was me struggling to have energy to do things because I was dealing with undiagnosed mental illness. it made me feel worse because I was healthy in every way and there was no reason for me to not have that energy but that was my reality and it made me hate myself. it didn't help that I'm also overweight, so that probably makes it easier to attach the term lazy to me. that term has become somewhat of a trigger because of all of that.
This is quite relatable, i have a problem with my vocal cords and can't do pretty much anything, and i have had people call me lazy, or ask why don't you get a job, i tell them i would if i could breath properly.
I understand how you feel. I have ceberal palsy and though I have always been disabled I find as I get older it gets harder to do some things I use to. I struggle with feeling lazy and useless at times. Lazy is different from being in pain and having something that take twice the energy to do similar things. Good job!
Something I was kinda laughing at myself at first, but then it grew on me, is the phone holder called lazy neck. I got one in August last year and I can highly highly recommend it! It’s so convenient to have your phone in it both for watching videos or browse Facebook on phone, or typing. I use mine all the time and it’s such a relief to be able to use my phone without having to hold it, and it also makes it easier to have my phone accessible while outside as I’m in a wheelchair (I play Pokémon Go when I’m out and the weather allows)
So yeah, I can highly recommend the lazy neck! It has definitely helped my lazy EDS ligaments a lot!
My science teacher called me lazy today because of nerodiversity and trauma I didn't want to share this with him thank you for making this video
I feel all the anger. So terrified of when I start using my wheelchair for college in September but also can't travel backwards on a bus?!
Thanks so much! Fellow EDSer here and I get called lazy for being pushed in my chair.... that I can't self propel... amd treated as a burden on my boyfriend, yet I don't get a powerchair cause s.o. pushes me.
Once a week.
We live apart.
If I do go out on my own in the neighbourhood I am scoffed at for me being lazy, weird. It's a constant battle between isolation or ableism and medical neglect.
this is so validating wtf