As a teenager whose family fosters I love watching your videos and relating them to my family and I feel like I’m able to help and understand our kids better because of you ❤
My daughter is 15, and we are fostering to adopt my nephews, and she has been absolury great throughout the hole process. The state had to do a meeting with my daughter to make sure she was okay with her cousins moving in, and the lady that did her meeting said my daughters interview was absolute heart-wrenching. I got nervous when the lady said that... I was thinking... Maybe my daughter didn't want her cousins here, but maybe my daughter told us she was okay with it cause she knew the boys had nowhere else to go... That wasn't the case at all ❤. The lady said to me that my daughter wanted them there so they would be safe and loved. She wants them to be her little brothers so they know they have a big sister to come to if they need someone that's not "the parents" ❤️ and so on.... It made me even proud of my daughter than I already am.
@@PatienceAnderson1989 wow wow wow. Thank you for sharing all that! You’ve obviously raised an amazing daughter 💕, and you’ll do the same with your nephews I am sure!
My baby girl just turned 2 years old last month. She's been in foster care since she was a few months old. I'm so blessed that her aunt & Uncle from her dad's side (his sister & brother in law) are able and wanting to take my daughter for her foster cares respite care. I'm about a week away from full reunification & couldn't be happier. I'm about 10 & a half months clean & sober now & almost have my daughter back. I can't wait!! I have had the best most loving foster care family taking care of her. They are amazing & will always be a part of our lives. They're such a big part of my babies life & I'd never keep them away from her when their bond is so strong!! They're her family as well. I'm so lucky that their family is able & willing to take care of my daughter when I have a class I can't miss once every week. I love my kids foster family & am so blessed. They'll of course miss my daughter so much but I try reassuring them that I won't keep them away from my daughter. ❤
I think respite is what NOT enough foster parents partake in. Thank you for talking about this. I honestly didn't even know that this was a thing with fostering. I think about the sad stories involving fostering, and wonder if things would've been different if they had considered respite time. On a side note, I have been caring for my Mother with Alzheimers for almost 2 years now 24/7 without a day off and I finally had to bring up to my brothers that I need help soon. I'm a single mom as well and so it's definitely been tough at times. Thankfully my daughter is absolutely uhhhhhmazing and has helped sit with grandma if/when I need to take a little power nap or get chores done... and very very soon (August), we will be moving back to our home and bringing my mother with us, which will allow for more help (it's much larger than my mother's house and allows for a room for a night-time helper). Somedays you just have to take it one day at a time, and that's where I am right now. I'm terrified to put my mother in a facility, so I will be trying my hardest to keep her home as long as possible (and as long as it's safe for her and us). _(sorry for such a long comment)_ Take Care ❤
Word!! I work in a foster family agency and so often our foster parents don't utilize their respite providers & they end up burning out fast 😢 it's a reminder wd constantly have to give, especially in enhanced higher need homes
I'm sorry your brothers have been so clueless or self-absorbed that they never bothered to offer you much needed help. Caring for your Mother should be a family effort, not a "you" effort.
@@emalinel sometimes there are no respite providers and depending on my the number of kids in your care there may not be any willing or able to provide respite care and it can be a huge hassle to utilize it’s not as simple as it’s made to sound
@jordanalandry1866 that is also true! I definitely acknowledge that is a barrier :/ At our agency we do try to have internal respite providers (like other parents who are already approved with us) to have that ad backup in case a family doesn't have any natural supports in their personal life that can provide respite.
I feel like respite is so important, not just in foster situations. I’m a single mom that has a lot of very serious medical issues, I’m on IV nutrition and often need procedures and infusions. I have a 13 yr old son who has autism and is nonverbal, I don’t have any family who can help, and most friends have their own families to care for. The agency we work for made sure we are approved for respite care, but don’t help at all in finding qualified people. I know many special needs mamas who are in similar situations. It feels like you’re alone and drowning sometimes. Sometimes I don’t think people know they can volunteer for this and be paid. Self catering is very important for parents.
That’s super important! I worked at a residential treatment home. They give 30 days of vacation after 6 months of full time work. It’s require of everyone to use all 30 days within the year. Every year.
I am SO happy and grateful to see that you are continuing with doing fostering content. I hope you will keep doing so, you help so many people with it, including me. Thanks so much ❤
You’re amazing❤ my daughters dad grew up in our local foster system and he is so traumatized from family picking his sister up for a weekend visit but leaving him at the foster family’s house etc he’s 44 and it’s so sad. He’s an amazing Dad though ❤but it is heartbreaking the stories has been able to share with me so far. Thank you for all you do❤
This is honestly really important for just married people with children as well. It’s not something I did enough with my husband when our kids were growing up. That’s really bad idea. I can imagine it’s that much more needed, This is honestly really important for just married people with children as well. It’s not something I did enough with my husband, when our kids were growing up. That’s really bad idea. I can imagine it that much with foster kids. with foster kids.
I am a German foster parent (long term, which is almost like adoption under German law..unlike the American system!!) to two young children with very different but special needs and I can tell you all you are saying is very true BUT that counts for all parents 😂not just foster ❤ no charge up, no energy, no energy, no good parenting😂
Laura! I'm so excited! My daughter and son-in-law are about to start fostering! They've been trying to conceive for around 6 years with no success. She's my only child and it's been so heartbreaking watching them go through this. But now they've decided to foster and I am so happy for and proud of them! They absolutely adore children and are so good with them and have tons of love to give! I told them about your channel so they can watch your videos if they have questions. They of course also have the social worker to talk to but I couldn't wait to tell you. Even though you don't know me. Lol. Thank you for sharing your experience!! ❤😊
How does that work if the foster family also has biological children? Do they go on respite too? It seems like that would create a bit of “othering” with the foster child, but that’s just my first impression and I’m sure you thought of everything so I’m curious how that works
Too bad in my area respite care isn't allowed to bio families unless they already had a caseworker. Ironically i ended up getting taken away from my mother due to an unalivement attempt. Her only supports were dealing with a major surgery at the time, and she had begged our CPS for some sort of assistance...they told her no. We got abused and eventually abandoned by the family member we were placed with. Respite care should be available to bio parents if they need it
Exactly. If they offered bio parents the same benefits as foster parents, there would be so many children that wouldn't even need to enter the system and could avoid the trauma of being separated from their family and possibly abused in a foster home. I have a friend who is fostering, and they pay for the children's daycare, food stamps (regardless of her income) she has gotten clothes, toys, cribs/carsets for free thru various agencies that assist foster parents, free medical care and therapy and respite care. If they gave bio families the same resources they wouldn't have to pay strangers to take children in.
Any advice for someone going into respite? I'll be starting my fostering journey with respite first, the eventually (hopefully sooner than later) fostering full-time
Re respite care, how do you navigate feelings of rejection and abandoment this might bring up in kids? I remember doing group therapy as a teenager and someone else in the group's foster mum had left him at respote care for a bit - he was pretty cut up about it I think he felt like none of the adults in his life wanted him.
Per the Oxford English Dictionary, it is res-pit. 😂 (I didn't know, either, but assumed that it was a way the fostering community used the word to differentiate it from some other kind of re-spite. Now I know!)
What are the rules as far as getting a babysitter for your foster children? For example, could my 18 year old daughter stay home with the kid(s) while I run a couple errands?
This usually falls under the prudent parenting standards, which varies by county and agency. I would recommend looking up "prudent parenting" for your county and see what's listed for short term babysitters
As a teenager whose family fosters I love watching your videos and relating them to my family and I feel like I’m able to help and understand our kids better because of you ❤
This is a great comment thank you! Love hearing from bio kids who’s family fosters
My daughter is 15, and we are fostering to adopt my nephews, and she has been absolury great throughout the hole process. The state had to do a meeting with my daughter to make sure she was okay with her cousins moving in, and the lady that did her meeting said my daughters interview was absolute heart-wrenching. I got nervous when the lady said that... I was thinking... Maybe my daughter didn't want her cousins here, but maybe my daughter told us she was okay with it cause she knew the boys had nowhere else to go... That wasn't the case at all ❤. The lady said to me that my daughter wanted them there so they would be safe and loved. She wants them to be her little brothers so they know they have a big sister to come to if they need someone that's not "the parents" ❤️ and so on.... It made me even proud of my daughter than I already am.
@@PatienceAnderson1989 wow wow wow. Thank you for sharing all that! You’ve obviously raised an amazing daughter 💕, and you’ll do the same with your nephews I am sure!
My baby girl just turned 2 years old last month. She's been in foster care since she was a few months old. I'm so blessed that her aunt & Uncle from her dad's side (his sister & brother in law) are able and wanting to take my daughter for her foster cares respite care. I'm about a week away from full reunification & couldn't be happier. I'm about 10 & a half months clean & sober now & almost have my daughter back. I can't wait!! I have had the best most loving foster care family taking care of her. They are amazing & will always be a part of our lives. They're such a big part of my babies life & I'd never keep them away from her when their bond is so strong!! They're her family as well. I'm so lucky that their family is able & willing to take care of my daughter when I have a class I can't miss once every week. I love my kids foster family & am so blessed. They'll of course miss my daughter so much but I try reassuring them that I won't keep them away from my daughter. ❤
Excited for your reunification! Thanks for sharing your story!
Congratulations on your recovery!! This is such a sweet story ❤️
🩷
@@CLee288 ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@sarahbarkoczi 🖤🥰
I think respite is what NOT enough foster parents partake in. Thank you for talking about this. I honestly didn't even know that this was a thing with fostering. I think about the sad stories involving fostering, and wonder if things would've been different if they had considered respite time.
On a side note, I have been caring for my Mother with Alzheimers for almost 2 years now 24/7 without a day off and I finally had to bring up to my brothers that I need help soon. I'm a single mom as well and so it's definitely been tough at times. Thankfully my daughter is absolutely uhhhhhmazing and has helped sit with grandma if/when I need to take a little power nap or get chores done... and very very soon (August), we will be moving back to our home and bringing my mother with us, which will allow for more help (it's much larger than my mother's house and allows for a room for a night-time helper).
Somedays you just have to take it one day at a time, and that's where I am right now. I'm terrified to put my mother in a facility, so I will be trying my hardest to keep her home as long as possible (and as long as it's safe for her and us).
_(sorry for such a long comment)_
Take Care
❤
Word!! I work in a foster family agency and so often our foster parents don't utilize their respite providers & they end up burning out fast 😢 it's a reminder wd constantly have to give, especially in enhanced higher need homes
I'm sorry your brothers have been so clueless or self-absorbed that they never bothered to offer you much needed help. Caring for your Mother should be a family effort, not a "you" effort.
@@emalinel sometimes there are no respite providers and depending on my the number of kids in your care there may not be any willing or able to provide respite care and it can be a huge hassle to utilize it’s not as simple as it’s made to sound
You're amazing 😍😍😍
@jordanalandry1866 that is also true! I definitely acknowledge that is a barrier :/ At our agency we do try to have internal respite providers (like other parents who are already approved with us) to have that ad backup in case a family doesn't have any natural supports in their personal life that can provide respite.
Respite is so important! And respite caregiver are very much needed. So many folks think of fostering as only a 24/7 gig, but all help is needed.
I feel like respite is so important, not just in foster situations. I’m a single mom that has a lot of very serious medical issues, I’m on IV nutrition and often need procedures and infusions. I have a 13 yr old son who has autism and is nonverbal, I don’t have any family who can help, and most friends have their own families to care for. The agency we work for made sure we are approved for respite care, but don’t help at all in finding qualified people. I know many special needs mamas who are in similar situations. It feels like you’re alone and drowning sometimes. Sometimes I don’t think people know they can volunteer for this and be paid. Self catering is very important for parents.
Wow. dear Mama. Thanks for sharing your unique perspective. God bless you and your son.
That’s super important! I worked at a residential treatment home. They give 30 days of vacation after 6 months of full time work. It’s require of everyone to use all 30 days within the year. Every year.
I am SO happy and grateful to see that you are continuing with doing fostering content. I hope you will keep doing so, you help so many people with it, including me. Thanks so much ❤
Your voice is so comforting if I was in foster care I would want u
You’re amazing❤ my daughters dad grew up in our local foster system and he is so traumatized from family picking his sister up for a weekend visit but leaving him at the foster family’s house etc he’s 44 and it’s so sad. He’s an amazing Dad though ❤but it is heartbreaking the stories has been able to share with me so far. Thank you for all you do❤
This is honestly really important for just married people with children as well. It’s not something I did enough with my husband when our kids were growing up. That’s really bad idea. I can imagine it’s that much more needed, This is honestly really important for just married people with children as well. It’s not something I did enough with my husband, when our kids were growing up. That’s really bad idea. I can imagine it that much with foster kids. with foster kids.
I am a German foster parent (long term, which is almost like adoption under German law..unlike the American system!!) to two young children with very different but special needs and I can tell you all you are saying is very true BUT that counts for all parents 😂not just foster ❤ no charge up, no energy, no energy, no good parenting😂
Laura! I'm so excited! My daughter and son-in-law are about to start fostering! They've been trying to conceive for around 6 years with no success. She's my only child and it's been so heartbreaking watching them go through this. But now they've decided to foster and I am so happy for and proud of them! They absolutely adore children and are so good with them and have tons of love to give! I told them about your channel so they can watch your videos if they have questions. They of course also have the social worker to talk to but I couldn't wait to tell you. Even though you don't know me. Lol. Thank you for sharing your experience!! ❤😊
Lovely comment and you will be a wonderful grandma I’m sure - great you’re on here learning!!
That's so sweet! Maybe you could help out as their respite home? Either way, good luck! ❤
How does that work if the foster family also has biological children? Do they go on respite too? It seems like that would create a bit of “othering” with the foster child, but that’s just my first impression and I’m sure you thought of everything so I’m curious how that works
Too bad in my area respite care isn't allowed to bio families unless they already had a caseworker. Ironically i ended up getting taken away from my mother due to an unalivement attempt. Her only supports were dealing with a major surgery at the time, and she had begged our CPS for some sort of assistance...they told her no. We got abused and eventually abandoned by the family member we were placed with. Respite care should be available to bio parents if they need it
Exactly. If they offered bio parents the same benefits as foster parents, there would be so many children that wouldn't even need to enter the system and could avoid the trauma of being separated from their family and possibly abused in a foster home.
I have a friend who is fostering, and they pay for the children's daycare, food stamps (regardless of her income) she has gotten clothes, toys, cribs/carsets for free thru various agencies that assist foster parents, free medical care and therapy and respite care. If they gave bio families the same resources they wouldn't have to pay strangers to take children in.
SOS Children Homes does the same.
Do you have any advice for situations where respite seems to cause behavioural/emotional issues to surface?
Any advice for someone going into respite?
I'll be starting my fostering journey with respite first, the eventually (hopefully sooner than later) fostering full-time
I will be taking the classes to provide respite care
What level of care do you provide? We are tfc and dmh. I love watching your videos!
Re respite care, how do you navigate feelings of rejection and abandoment this might bring up in kids? I remember doing group therapy as a teenager and someone else in the group's foster mum had left him at respote care for a bit - he was pretty cut up about it I think he felt like none of the adults in his life wanted him.
For the tide pot alternative, I use laundry sheets. They also have no pouring involved and they tend to use kinder ingredients
???
How old do you have to be to be a foster care baby sitter?
Is this a SEPARATE position within THE FOSTER CARE SYSTEM?❤
How much kids are you fostering?
Wouldn't this apply to other parents? I guess that's the point
Do you have children?
Spite....reSPITE....not respit....🤭
Per the Oxford English Dictionary, it is res-pit. 😂 (I didn't know, either, but assumed that it was a way the fostering community used the word to differentiate it from some other kind of re-spite. Now I know!)
That's how it's actually pronounced. Respit.
What are the rules as far as getting a babysitter for your foster children? For example, could my 18 year old daughter stay home with the kid(s) while I run a couple errands?
This usually falls under the prudent parenting standards, which varies by county and agency. I would recommend looking up "prudent parenting" for your county and see what's listed for short term babysitters
Tysm 🩷💙
I don't know how yet, but since becoming exposed to you the past year+ I feel you're preparing me for my future