Anyone ever feel like they aren’t here? Like your just sitting back? You can’t feel your arms moving, you can’t feel your legs moving. You look down to see what’s happening and it doesn’t feel real. You feel light headed but also feel like you can’t sit down. Your mind is blank only living in the now. You forget everything, the world feels so far away and you don’t know how to reach it. No, just me then?:/
My experience of derealization has been like as if I’m watching a TV show, where everyone around me isn’t real and everything is planned out for them to act a certain way. I have to snap out of in order to remind myself that these are real people with feelings and thoughts.
The disassociating is somewhat comforting. It's scary giving up control, though. It feels like an escape, but then I'm not sure what to do with myself once I've escaped.
An unwanted escape A forced pushed into freedom Like your happy to be freed but you were not ready Idk i just wanted to write my thoughts down for a second 🤷
@@Max-px7nn I wouldn't consider it "freedom" if it's not your control plus dissociation is an escape but not really freedom it has it's own challenges that most people don't experience
I've seen people describe depersonalization as like watching yourself from a distance, and I've felt that, but has anyone else ever felt like you're just crouched into yourself? sort of like your body is a cave and you're sat in the back of it while still being able to look out the entrance ig? or like I can hear myself forming responses during a conversation but its likr a different part of me, if that makes sense. I'm bad at wording my thoughts lmao 😅
oh yeah definitely! i feel that a lot, especially cuz i have an erratic personality that changes often. all experiences are different but it doesn’t make them any less valid ^^
I have social anxiety, it would be a dream for me to be disassociated. It is the results of thousands if years of evolution to design this safety mechanism for you to deal with things.
@@jasonkarabelas5831 being dissociated is a really scary experience and can cause you to miss out on a lot of your life and its not somethign you can control. it happens at random times and some people dissociate their entire life. please be respectful of people with this condition, its not something to desire :)
I'm not completely sure if I have depersonalization, but I usually feel numb and almost turned off, just blank and I can see myself as if I'm standing infront of myself and watching myself, has anyone else felt this?
I also semi feel fuzzy, like not the feeling when your leg falls asleep but different, sometimes its in my whole body and sometimes it's just in my face or brain.
I get this, sometimes I look at my hands and they feel not quite mine, and very far away/blurry. I feel like decisions I make or things I say are not me
its weird how i have many supportive friends, but i still feel alone and disconnected from everyone... i can never tell whats real anymore. i dont even know if i understand what life really is supposed to feel like. I just feel empty and i forget things a lot. time either goes too slow or too fast. i like to sing, and it feels like i can never hear myself anymore. i constantly get a feeling of deja vu even if its the first time ive seen or heard something. i dont even feel like i actually exist.
I understand tge deja vu completely. Itll be the first time something happens but is feels like I saw the exact scene play out before, down to the eind being the exact same
lmao this is basically a public diary entry i derealize really badly when i'm at work and when i have to think about the future. i despise the thought of going to college or having to get a job or getting old. it's almost to the point of feeling sick and anxious. the older i get the closer i am to having to make decisions about college and my future and i don't want to. and people keep bringing it up and i just want them to stop please stop ever since i was a kid i was super obsessed with reading books. my parents and teachers tried to make me slow down and read the books more in detail, but i was never able to. i think i only enjoyed reading because it was like a crutch to derealize, way before i even knew what that was. i can read fast enough to get the gist of a book and then absorb myself completely in it's story to the point i forget i exist. now it's evolved to games and shows i watch. i become terrifyingly absorbed in them to the point that i just forget i exist for awhile, and i only come back when someone distracts me/enough time passes and i get distracted by something else. i depersonalize a lot when i look in the mirror, i just feel like i don't exist/i'm not supposed to look like that. not even in a "i hate my appearence" way, just in a "that's what i look like?" confused kind of way. i just stop recognizing myself and get confused as to why i look like that. it's heightened a lot by the fact i seperate myself into how i act around different people. around my online friends, at work/in public, with my family, at school/with friends, and my focused mood like when im reading/gaming/watching something(alone). i usually depersonalize when going from 1 to another, like being confronted with the fact i exist and have an appearence after talking to my online friends a lot. it sucks and gets so bad i have to avoid mirrors sometimes. worse thing is i cant talk to anyone about it. i've got super private about my mental issues around friends and especially family(my online friends know more than anyone else in my life). mostly in part because of all the people online who talk about their problems and are labeled attention seeking. i've turned myself around so much in my own head that i dont want to talk about my problems because i regret it immediately afterwards and internally feel attention seeking. the only reason i can talk here is because i know no one who knows me will find it. alright gotta go i'm 100% gonna find this post sometime in the future and sob ily all i hope you all are doing okay
an update!! the depersonalization and derealization are still happening !!! but i realized i'm not SH'ing as much as I did in 2020/2021 !!!! wooooo anyways, expanding on the last paragraph of my comment, ,,, i now long for the ability to just cry with someone and not have them ask anything. the reason i hate talking about my problems is because; 1. it's very hard to put into words or drawings and express how i'm feeling 2. i feel bad for putting that pressure on someone, even if they're willingly letting me talk about it 3. as much as i appreciate the check-in's, they just remind me of the situation again and i just get so tired of it so in other words, i'd really just like someone i can sit next to and maybe cry a bit and just find comfort in them being there. but that really wont happen because i dont a. trust my family[mostly my mom} enough to be able to do that, and b. none of my irl friends are close enough to do that with. i want to have that experience with an online friend since i'm already so comforted by just being around them, and i think they would respect my request!! but nooo none of us are old enough to go visit eachother so we physically cant :]
you made me realize that i'm not only experiencing "going out of one's body", but also "that's what i look like?". sometimes, i "realize" how things are, for example that the word "could" has "oul" in it. is that a symptom?
@@oreofisk oooooh god nooo ! now i've realized my weird obsession with words! i'm not sure if thats really due to derealizing/depersonalizing, but sometimes i just realize how weird words are. also the shorter the word the weirder. examples: and, do, am, it. aHHHH
What's the point of being real when my realness isn't supposed to be? But then again who's to decide what's supposed to and what isn't? The question is, what is what?
the world doesnt feel real, i feel like im playing a game but there is lag, like i cant ever fully stay connected to my character. i dont want to play this game anymore.....
tw : venting, rambling, dissociation it's not even scary anymore, i've been trying so hard to get away from this world, this reality and now i'm in this state of dissociation. it's just like that. it feels weird, but at least i'm not that hurt because i don't even know if these feelings are real.
I feel like my body isn’t me, I’m just a voice In a body, I feel like my body isn’t me, I can’t recognise myself, I can’t remember how I look. I can’t even describe myself
Depersonalization: a state in which one's thoughts and feelings seem unreal or not to belong to oneself, or in which one loses all sense of identity. Derealisation: a feeling that one's surroundings are not real, especially as a symptom of mental disturbance. Dissociation: the disconnection or separation of something from something else or the state of being disconnected. I feel both of these. All the time, and this playlist is relatable, but it did trigger depersonalization. Now I have to add it to the list of millions of mental illnesses, disabilities, ect I have. Species Dysphoria doesn't help, it can be exciting or magical when I have it, but its also depressing too. Life sucks, but you're strong for pushing through it. A unique strong, much around you don't have. You're not alone. It doesn't help, but there are millions alike to you no matter what.
Me, my friends and family struggle with this we just call it an autopilot as if we are the pilot, but we aren't really needed so the subconscious takes control just letting ourselves kind of come in and out of consciousness. That's my take on it atleast.
I would wake up in the morning with my vision blurred, kind of dizzy like as If I was high. I get up and I'm just immediately on autopilot. It's like my body knows what to do but I'm not mentally here, not fully conscious. I'm just watching myself do things and sometimes won't remember afterwards. It's getting better now ever since I got on my meds. Life gets better when you're surrounded by good friends and feel grateful about the little things. You're not alone, you can do it. I truly believe so because I was in the worst place possible in my life until I made an effort to meet people and actually end up having a good friend i could finally rely on and be there for them as well. ♥️ We will be alright guys, we can do this.
Everything's alright I say inside my head to ignore all the delusions and madness The feeling I'm lost, I'm not here looking through glass, the world around me fades How can I decide if I'm real or fake? It doesn't make sense not anymore Is my skin a piece of clothing? Or something I own Questions I often ponder as I begin to swirl and shake that moment feels like forever as my soul descends from a dream a dream I can't escape
For me my derealization has been so bad recently. I was writing to myself in the future in 3rd person and it just stressed me out because I felt departed from my consciousness, like everything was a dream no one around me, not even me, was real
For my derealization, I think that everything isn’t real. I sometimes confuse reality with fantasy. Like this whole world is a game, and I’m the player, who has to find the ending. Like I’m inside a bubble, and it hurts to try and break out. For depersonalization, it’s like a tv show. Like a VR set. Like I’ve said before, a game. And I see through my POV, and think my thoughts and my activities, but it’s like... not me. Like this body isn’t mine. I’m trapped inside and forced to play this game to find a way out.
dissociation has happened to me once, i remember this day like it was yesterday. i woke up and looked at my hands and before i spoke it felt like i already said the words. my body felt like it wasnt my body. it felt like a bunch of blood was flowing inside me. people would speak to me and it felt like i was watching myself. i thought of the awnsers and it felt like i was saying them. i looked in the mirror asking myself if it was really me. Honestly that was one of the freakiest moments of my life i couldnt ever imagine living like that for months even weeks or two days in a row. it was so strange. (please respond i need someone to talk to).
My experience is being outside and just feeling like I’m in a big room instead of a place. My depth perception is messed up and I forget I exist. I feel floaty and like I’m being pushed by someone behind me. 🗿
ive always had dpdr symptoms, like as long as i remember. but rn has made me realise the extent that it’s damaged me, ive spent almost a whole year on ‘autopilot’, and i’m always inwardly hoping some outside source kills me before i have to make real choices. my god
my experience is personally thinking that life is a sheer simulation. whereas i am notified this is a simulation and i can almost see myself, its surreal. like, i’m in my body but its just a shell or a cave i’m in. and i can’t remember anything after doing it, which i believe is apart of dissociation. but i realize this life isn’t real, and i’m in a body that isnt mine.
Sometimes everything goes so radio silent, like I can’t feel anything, and I can see myself in the third person, and I don’t even think anymore, there’s only one thing on my mind “Am I even real?”
Tw:vent, depersonalization It's like I'm not me I'm listening to someone make disitions in my head like two people in the same skull it thinks of what to say and I say it, it's like I'm not me, it's hard to convince myself I'm me. if I really am me why do i hear these voices like they are the one supposed to be speaking and tell me im not important or not needed. Why do I have them. Why am I like this. Why can't I be me. Am I me I don't even know anymore. And all people have to say is that I'm seeking attention, but "I" believe I need help. I don't even know what's real or fake anymore :l
Vent? Rant? Idk. I got no one else to share this with. Most of my life feels like a videogame. I'm in control of the player and everyone else corelates to me. It doesn't help that lots of coincidences happen and it scares me (if I learn the definition of a word and suddenly one of my friends use it casually) like nothing is real. But in 2020 since there was nothing else to do, I became really in touch with my emotions and thoughts. I started to actually notice amnesia gaps in my memory and the voices in my head. I'm scared. I can't tell if I'm faking everything. I can't stop thinking I can hear them. It's annoying, scary, and just ick. I don't like myself and I don't want to be a burden and I don't wanna be sent away. My therapist said it might be DID but I don't think I'm traumatized enough to have it. Anyway sorry for venting. Thanks for listening any advice is appreciated. Nice playlist btw
i cannot describe how i have the feeling i get when im derealising, i feel like im going to loose it and go crazy like some times i just spill hot water or i eat something really spicy and it kinda stops but sometimes it wont and im so scared that feeling will never go away. the feeling that im disconnected, alone and not real at all i cant deal with it anymore 💀💀
I remember this one time, 6th grade, english class. We were doing some kickball thing and I didn't feel like myself so I went to the bathroom. When I went in I started panicking because I looked like a very realistic video game? I don't really know how to explain it. I sat in the corner crying for a bit and eventually went back to the gym. I couldn't really feel my legs moving or my arms swinging. It felt like I genuinely was controlling a character in a video game or watching a TV show and I couldn't leave. I sat on the bleachers and couldn't snap myself out of it til I got home. This was at 10:45AM. I got home at 4:08PM. It was scary.
I have learned to accept I am disconnected from my physical self from time to time or for long stretches of time and it's distressing but I know it will be okay
Mine comes with utterly bizarre feelings. A sudden realisation that I am alive, that I am doing this right now. That I am at this very exact moment and not anywhere else. Anywhere else is here and I am here, I just realised that. And sometimes it feels like staring at multiple mirrors that go on forever and wonder if they have an end. But it's just the face of someone stuck within endless mirrors, gazing from every angle.
I've been dissociating more lately. Earlier, it happened again...it got worse. It was so difficult to convince myself that everything and everyone is real. I had a hard time breathing and I was staring at my hands and everything I could see, I think I was afraid that time. I can't tell exactly how I feel whenever I dissociate, but I believe I was scared and nervous. Does being lonely or feeling alone cause this to happen more? I've been seperated from most of my friends since 17th of October and I will be until 17th of December.
Tuesday I felt like I disociated I realized it was tuesday and froze I felt out of body and stared at my hands before rushing to my tutoring session. I always hate that feeling its the 3rd time its happened ever. Today I just stared at my self for a long time looking away ashamed idk if thats the dissiociation or something else.
its like my eyes are just windows i can see through. i wanna sau so much more about my derealization/depersonalization/dissociation but i cant explain it.
Me, my friends and family struggle with this we just call it an almost autopilot of sorts like your there but you only take control sometimes because you don't really need much thought to complete the task infront of you.
I became fuzzy all throughout my body I had to concentrate on how cold the wall I had a grip on I felt like I would pass out or just fall over I'm slowly becoming less talkative than I originally was
I feel like I'm not in my body, I'm just a soul inside me. My emotions are like almost died, like i don't have feelings, just the bad emotions. My life is in auto pilot, i feel angry about anything around me, i just think about my past, and i feel like I'm gonna freak out.
i dont know how to describe it. i constantly feel like I'm watching myself in third person, like a video game. Whenever I wake up, my body knows what to do but I'm not always mentally there. Its scary, it all feels like a dream. i wrote this poem, I don't know. I'm not asking for sympathy, I just need to put it down somewhere. The scary feeling of not being able to control your every action that has a toll on what the next second, or even day will be he just wants to be free. Feeling like he’s in a dream who knew how loud you had to scream to hear himself deeply in fear he thinks it’s getting a bit too severe. not feeling like he has control over his own body god he wishes he can tell somebody. seeing himself in third person who knew it could just worsen feeling detached from himself It’s a scary thought coming from itself The thing that makes him feel like a monster Can be such a bother. shriveled up into a ball who knew how far Staring into a cold dark pit of nothingness Can turn into something so dangerous people and things don’t feel real It’s all just so surreal. 3.2.1 snap Save him before he cracks. not knowing what he’s capable of And scared of what he can do Yet if only if he could redo He’d change the scary thoughts Saving himself from you.
I derealize and I look at my hand and it's like a drawing. "Where am I? Who are these people? What's going on?" The saddest part is that I look at my own best friend and I don't recognize him. Like I know he's someone I know, but I don't recognize him as a person I know. This person that should be the one I recognize and grounds me to reality. But he isn't. And I think that's stupid
for me i experience dissociation and derealisation all the time, its like i’m in a state of dreaming. nothing ever feels real. im always tired and unaware but aware at the same time? i don’t know. im aware im real, but my mind thinks of this world as a delusion i hope it gets better for everyone eventually 😞
i used to feel like life was a tv show that i would watch bc i was in ‘friend groups’ where i wouldn’t talk, but i’ve stopped talking and now it feels like i’m just sitting at the back of my brain in the dark. but when i’m with specific people, i don’t feel like that, which is great. 2 ways i put it is, if im feeling genuinely sad, it feels like im drowning, and people or books drag me out and put me back on my little boat. but other times, when i’ve been drowning for a long time or i’ve been on my little boat without finding land (land being real life),it feels like gravity gets turned off and i’m floating, holding on to the ground by a little rope. a little bit ago i actually felt myself letting go of that rope, but i caught it just in time. i’m not sure what would’ve happened if i didn’t catch myself, maybe i was just tired though. thanks :).
Nothing in my life is in my control...I'm not even in control of my own body, my own voice...something else is operating it. I've become overwhelmed with a strong hatred for everyone...a burning resentment that festers with every action I make. I can't remember what I did yesterday, or this morning...or a week ago....so I guess my actions don't even matter anymore? Everything is blurry, even my own face feels like clay... I'm not overwhelmed with the wish of death, rather, the wish of sleep... I just want to sleep and wake up a year from now...never facing the real world again...I don't want to feel real... I'm so tired of being real...
Somebody please please please tell me if this is depersonalization: I don’t know how long this has been going on or maybe i just started noticing it recently, but no matter how hard i try it’s nearly impossible to be fully in the present. Everything I do, all the fun things, it all feels just okay. Not great, not memorable, just okay. I’m so tired I sometimes don’t have the energy to try and snap out so i succumb to the autopilot. My life is a loop which feels infinitely hard to break, especially since the things that used to be fun are just okay. I feel a ton of brain fog as well, I can’t tell if I’m valid for feeling some things or not. I just want a cure to this never ending dream.
Idk what I'm actually feeling right now. Actually I'm not feeling anything right now. It feels as if I am half awake and half asleep at the same time. It's as if I was in a bubble and during that time I'm indifferent to the world around me. I see the world but somehow I don't feel anything while looking at it. And then I just snap out of it, as if I was just turned off but with my eyes open
Its like my subconscious taking over for me, my thoughts and emotions are hardly my own my problems feel surreal, its like my very soul has abandonded me and im the only sliver of consciousness left in this shell of a human being
am i the only real person in a world full of other people that arent real? a reality that isnt real? i am just this soul inside this shell, is my soul not real either?
i very often think about my existence among other people too...like they are robots with no feelings, thoughts, opinions, they exist just to fill the void
[VENT TW?] So lately I’ve accidentally been saying “we” or “us” when I ment to say “i” when talking to people and they just look at me weird after I zone out a lot and can never focus on any work cause I usually don’t understand any of it by “zoning out” idk if that’s what it is cause I kinda just sit somewhere and my vision gets blurry and it feels like I’m drowning in my thoughts that I can’t control I get confused by a lot of things and all of this leads me to say “what?” A lot and a LOT of people are just like “Omg stop saying what all the time” “do you lack common sense or something?” “ughhh nvm.” So idk what to do 😀👍
After a particularly bad breakdown earlier today I’ve been fading in and out of feeling like “myself”. Like I’m the kins I take on and nobody at the same time. Like I’m just kinda…floating, not present in the moment or place. I have to go into work in a few minutes. I am not looking forward to it in this….state
For me it's like the feeling that I'll wake up anytime, in the back of my head everything is just someone's dream, that there is some script and the fear that I've forgotten what's next when i never knew is scary,,,,
To me depersonalization, dissociation and derealization is a personal, individual experience and that everyone feels different about it. No matter what goes trough your mind only one thing is sure at this time : nothing looks real, being yourself is uncomfortable and is that even you ? The world as you see it trough your eyes sounds and seems all fake. Personally dissociation is when I feel uncomfortable in some situations, like it’s too strange even though it should be a common thing. I totally don’t think that I am familiar with just simple things as talking or being anywhere. Depersonalization happens when I look in the mirror, to a video or a picture of me. I feel like I literally stole someone’s life. That the real me is hiding in my brain observing, analyzing like an experience. And because of that I feel like I’m hiding something from my own self. Derealization is when I just randomly realized that I something is off, not right. I’m in a sort of simulation, a game, an social experiment, a show. Like I’m actually in a virtual reality and that I’m dreaming when I’m not.
for me dissociation is almost like playing a videogame, where you don't control yourself but someone else, sometimes i became almost like unaware of my sorroundings, of the time passing. sometimes it's like im in autopilot mode and im just a little bit aware of what is happening almost like a dream. sometimes i even forget what i just said or did beacuse i was so in autopilot that i just didn't realize what is happening. it's been months now that i have this feeling that was slowly growing, i almost don't remember how i was before and im scared that im just faking this or maybe im just sleep deprived. but this feels too weird. im trying to get help but it's not easy. sometimes it's like my feelings aren't mine, it feels like im just empathizing someone else. im sorry if this was written in a shitty way but im rn in a really bad dissociation so yeah :/ hate this feeling.
My dissociation problem kinda feels like what autopilot would feel like. As of a part of me is just in another place while an empty shell is going about everydays business. Sometimes it's so strong that I try to focus but I'm unable to and then Im kinda stuck like that and then I start panicking sometimes.
I feel like I’m in vr. Kinda like that one show “the amazing digital circus” it’s like nothing feels real and it’s all a delusion and I can’t take the headset off no matter what I do? Just me? Ok..
A lot of people in these comments are sqying they see themselves. I just feel like i am walking away from myself more and more while my heart drops and i barely think. Is that something else?
dissociation is comforting, in a way. its scary giving up control, yea, but- getting away from reality is just. its unknown and strange but i really want to not be here. and, at the end of it, there’s not much to do with the control, so might just give it up to get away for a bit
Derealization for me is like.. I feel like nothing is real. Like im in a video, Sometimes. I have to look around and take a moment to stop and realize what reality.. Is.
every time something triggers me into dp/dr i always feel like im a malfunctioning robot -- eyes blurry, no thoughts, head dizzy, and like im floating. im everywhere but not where i am. it's weird, i dont know how to explain everything.
Someone in the comments compared life to a game with lag, and it reminded me of something I experienced a lot as a child and only experience it every blue moon now that I’m older. But when my parents of people I knew said things that made me feel upset, everything felt like it got slower, the moment of them saying it was clipped and it replayed over and over till some outside source snapped me out of it. It felt like they were mocking me, accusing me with mean words that were originally just said as offhanded comments. I think it’s worth noting that though it made me cry, I loved it and did so many things to try and get the feeling to start over again. It somehow felt euphoric and eventually I couldn’t help myself from smiling when I would see their distorted figures mock and try to hurt me. I’m not sure what this is, like at all, I don’t believe it correlates to anything in the title of the video, but i just started thinking about all the weird unreal things that happened to me as a kid and this is still a very prominent part of my mind, so I sort of just started typing
It’s like I spaced out for a long time and I was doing important stuff when all of a sudden just “blank” I fell over when I was blank because it felt like I left my body
I dont have this i think… but i have this weird habbit of switching personality everytime when im talking to someone.. its like library but with personalities.. I hate it i don’t feel like real person and i don’t wanna be like this i wanna be normal
It's especially bad at night. Everything is like a dream, I don't feel my body anymore, is this the real world? I have no more appetite, no more thirst, I just want to be in the here and now. I'm scared of passing out or even dying. I need help and at the same time I don't want to let anyone get close to me. I'm not alone, thanks for being here.
I've been..noticing things more than I use to. I keep finding sticks shaped like a wish bone. Objects move/change when I look away. Maybe its a glitch in the system. All these obstacles..I still don't understand what I'm suppose to do. why do people not believe me? Or are they trying to cover it up so I don't break the code?
i don't know if this is exactly dissasociation but does anyone feel like 2021 didn't happen? and this isn't only because of [current world event], it feels like a multitude of things made 2021 not real. 2020 felt like so long ago and i know there _was_ a year in between this one and 2020, but 2021 was just.... a blur? it felt more like a series of moments like the days in-between didn't matter. it felt like i was alive one day and then there was this gap in time and i'd suddenly be alive again a week later. i felt like i was on autopilot the whole year, a lot of my feelings were just kinda stagnant. like, i'd feel them, but i didn't feel them as much as i used to. at the same time though, if i was sad, i would absolutely break like a faucet. i think it's gotten better, time feels more natural now and i think the reason for that is the fact that i count days now, which isn't even related to dissasociation, i count days because i'm documenting a hyperfixation on a character i like, but counting each day and acknowledging what number day it is has helped a lot in identifying that the day actually did happen. this year feels normal, it feels like it _should_ be October right now. writhing this is kinda terrifying but it feels nice to actually write down my thoughts... somewhat coherently
I’m so tired of this, it always comes back without my meds, I’m tired of having to take them. It never ends you just learn to live with it and pretend it’s not happening. It’s gotten so much worse with age I hate it
Does anyone else look in the mirror and genuinely see nothing? Like ur face is melting off and being replaced with tv static. You get to lightheaded and soon you stop remembering things. So forgetful but it's because ur in ur head all the time. None of my body parts feel like they're mine. I walk around and everyone I interact with feels like sort of a video game I've okay a million times. It all feels so fake and predictable. All scripted lines and nothing is their actual feelings. None of it is actually them. Nothing helps and I just have to ride it out. This has been happening too often lately and I'm not sure what to do about it. It's not scary most of the time. It's mostly just surprising when it starts. I could be fine one minute then I use the bathroom and while washing my hands i look in the mirror and see nothing on my face. And that starts it. My voice isn't mine, my thoughts aren't mine, my body isn't mine, nothing I see is real as if I'm trapped in this body and once it gives out I'll finally be free.
I don't know much about any of this but but I often feel like I'm not real I don't feel solid I don't feel connected I feel like my body is something that I can forget umm my experiences or something I can disconnect from when it comes to myself I can't even see my cell phone most it's like the traits that I have physical or not physical it's something that is hard to kind of list without me telling myself that I'm describing somebody else I have to pretend like I'm describing somebody else because I I don't know how feel about me I I don't know it feels like I'm constantly looking through a hazy lens I can't see clearly I can be like OK yeah I can be lazy yeah I can't be this and that. I often see myself as another person I don't feel like the body or my emotions or my thoughts are truly mine I feel like I am at the passenger seat and I'm just watching, observing it's like I'm looking at myself doing all these things sometimes I like her sometimes but nowadays when I notice more things about her I really like her but she's not me though I don't know what "me" is. I don't know what this is I I feel like a cloud I feel like however I'm just an eye in the clouds looking.
Derealization feels like I’m in a dream or like they’re NPCs. Sometimes I even find myself not being emotionally attached to people I know. For example, I was walking with my dad (he didn’t notice bc I was behind him) when I started to feel like I was in a dream, and I even felt like I never knew my dad, I just felt like he was a random person. I snapped out of it and remembered he’s my dad. Sometimes I even question if it’s reality or am I really in a dream, like one time where I experienced derealization at school (no one knows yet) and I was actually questioning myself if I was actually sleeping and I missed school or that I fell asleep in the middle of the class 😭
idk but every time i accidentally slept for 2 hours instead of 5 minutes, id wake up and feel dizzy and that the world just isn’t real. that this is a simulation. or maybe if i watched videos for too long, it’s the same thing. except i feel drunk and high. is this normal for an 11 year old kid?
I lost myself i don’t know who im and what’s the point i see things that are familiar but strange and new i see everything moving fast around i stare and get lost my memories are fading slowly i barely recognize myself i have no memories or will to live i dont feel prisent i can’t believe i exist i don’t know what is this and what’s happening…….
timestamps!
pocky boy - yeule: 00:00
oh klahoma - jack stauber: 4:00
waves - chloe moriondo: 7:05
foley - patricia taxxon: 9:18
pretty bones - yeule: 16:20
pretty cvnt - sewer slvt: 19:36
it's alright - jack stauber: 23:17
agoraphobia - elita: 27:27
if u like this playlist check out my other one!!!
Anyone ever feel like they aren’t here? Like your just sitting back? You can’t feel your arms moving, you can’t feel your legs moving. You look down to see what’s happening and it doesn’t feel real. You feel light headed but also feel like you can’t sit down. Your mind is blank only living in the now. You forget everything, the world feels so far away and you don’t know how to reach it. No, just me then?:/
ohh i definitely feel that all the time, im sorry to hear that. its v v scary but just know u arent alone! :)
@@sunny-xf6cu thanks
@@carolinaalvarado5215 ofc ^^
me too, it's scary
I feel and do this, way too often.
My experience of derealization has been like as if I’m watching a TV show, where everyone around me isn’t real and everything is planned out for them to act a certain way. I have to snap out of in order to remind myself that these are real people with feelings and thoughts.
its so often i cant snap out myself anymore
literally thought about this right now
samee
Me fr
Fr
The disassociating is somewhat comforting. It's scary giving up control, though. It feels like an escape, but then I'm not sure what to do with myself once I've escaped.
An unwanted escape
A forced pushed into freedom
Like your happy to be freed but you were not ready
Idk i just wanted to write my thoughts down for a second 🤷
@@Max-px7nn I wouldn't consider it "freedom" if it's not your control plus dissociation is an escape but not really freedom it has it's own challenges that most people don't experience
It's like you're still there, still in your body but your not controlling it like on autopilot and just watching yourself do these things
I've seen people describe depersonalization as like watching yourself from a distance, and I've felt that, but has anyone else ever felt like you're just crouched into yourself? sort of like your body is a cave and you're sat in the back of it while still being able to look out the entrance ig? or like I can hear myself forming responses during a conversation but its likr a different part of me, if that makes sense. I'm bad at wording my thoughts lmao 😅
oh yeah definitely! i feel that a lot, especially cuz i have an erratic personality that changes often. all experiences are different but it doesn’t make them any less valid ^^
Oddly enough I understand all that. I often feel like I am watching as a third party, like a tv shows camera man.
Really struggling right now.. :( I really don't like feeling this way so out of touch like a ghost floating empty through the world
I have social anxiety, it would be a dream for me to be disassociated. It is the results of thousands if years of evolution to design this safety mechanism for you to deal with things.
@@jasonkarabelas5831 being dissociated is a really scary experience and can cause you to miss out on a lot of your life and its not somethign you can control. it happens at random times and some people dissociate their entire life. please be respectful of people with this condition, its not something to desire :)
Some times I have to remind myself that this is the real world. This is life. This is where I live. I’ve made it this far already
I'm not completely sure if I have depersonalization, but I usually feel numb and almost turned off, just blank and I can see myself as if I'm standing infront of myself and watching myself, has anyone else felt this?
I also semi feel fuzzy, like not the feeling when your leg falls asleep but different, sometimes its in my whole body and sometimes it's just in my face or brain.
I get this, sometimes I look at my hands and they feel not quite mine, and very far away/blurry. I feel like decisions I make or things I say are not me
Yeah, I get the same thing
its weird how i have many supportive friends, but i still feel alone and disconnected from everyone... i can never tell whats real anymore. i dont even know if i understand what life really is supposed to feel like. I just feel empty and i forget things a lot. time either goes too slow or too fast. i like to sing, and it feels like i can never hear myself anymore. i constantly get a feeling of deja vu even if its the first time ive seen or heard something. i dont even feel like i actually exist.
I understand tge deja vu completely. Itll be the first time something happens but is feels like I saw the exact scene play out before, down to the eind being the exact same
lmao this is basically a public diary entry
i derealize really badly when i'm at work and when i have to think about the future. i despise the thought of going to college or having to get a job or getting old. it's almost to the point of feeling sick and anxious. the older i get the closer i am to having to make decisions about college and my future and i don't want to. and people keep bringing it up and i just want them to stop please stop
ever since i was a kid i was super obsessed with reading books. my parents and teachers tried to make me slow down and read the books more in detail, but i was never able to. i think i only enjoyed reading because it was like a crutch to derealize, way before i even knew what that was. i can read fast enough to get the gist of a book and then absorb myself completely in it's story to the point i forget i exist. now it's evolved to games and shows i watch. i become terrifyingly absorbed in them to the point that i just forget i exist for awhile, and i only come back when someone distracts me/enough time passes and i get distracted by something else.
i depersonalize a lot when i look in the mirror, i just feel like i don't exist/i'm not supposed to look like that. not even in a "i hate my appearence" way, just in a "that's what i look like?" confused kind of way. i just stop recognizing myself and get confused as to why i look like that. it's heightened a lot by the fact i seperate myself into how i act around different people. around my online friends, at work/in public, with my family, at school/with friends, and my focused mood like when im reading/gaming/watching something(alone). i usually depersonalize when going from 1 to another, like being confronted with the fact i exist and have an appearence after talking to my online friends a lot. it sucks and gets so bad i have to avoid mirrors sometimes.
worse thing is i cant talk to anyone about it. i've got super private about my mental issues around friends and especially family(my online friends know more than anyone else in my life). mostly in part because of all the people online who talk about their problems and are labeled attention seeking. i've turned myself around so much in my own head that i dont want to talk about my problems because i regret it immediately afterwards and internally feel attention seeking. the only reason i can talk here is because i know no one who knows me will find it.
alright gotta go i'm 100% gonna find this post sometime in the future and sob
ily all i hope you all are doing okay
an update!!
the depersonalization and derealization are still happening !!! but i realized i'm not SH'ing as much as I did in 2020/2021 !!!! wooooo
anyways, expanding on the last paragraph of my comment, ,,, i now long for the ability to just cry with someone and not have them ask anything. the reason i hate talking about my problems is because;
1. it's very hard to put into words or drawings and express how i'm feeling
2. i feel bad for putting that pressure on someone, even if they're willingly letting me talk about it
3. as much as i appreciate the check-in's, they just remind me of the situation again and i just get so tired of it
so in other words, i'd really just like someone i can sit next to and maybe cry a bit and just find comfort in them being there. but that really wont happen because i dont a. trust my family[mostly my mom} enough to be able to do that, and b. none of my irl friends are close enough to do that with. i want to have that experience with an online friend since i'm already so comforted by just being around them, and i think they would respect my request!! but nooo none of us are old enough to go visit eachother so we physically cant :]
you made me realize that i'm not only experiencing "going out of one's body", but also "that's what i look like?". sometimes, i "realize" how things are, for example that the word "could" has "oul" in it. is that a symptom?
@@oreofisk oooooh god nooo ! now i've realized my weird obsession with words! i'm not sure if thats really due to derealizing/depersonalizing, but sometimes i just realize how weird words are. also the shorter the word the weirder. examples: and, do, am, it. aHHHH
@@shwoom Woah ! so it's not only me ! ahahaha
Just a reminder for some people
You are real
You are loved
You are the most real person
What's the point of being real when my realness isn't supposed to be? But then again who's to decide what's supposed to and what isn't? The question is, what is what?
but why dont i feel it
being called ''real'' is almost an insult, i don't feel like i am, and i wish i wasn't, i wish i wasn't here, stuck in this body that isn't mine
@@twistedreality997 Even if you don't feel real, you should know that you are YOU. No one else. Real or not you are you and that feels real to me
@@absurdist_666 puikioji u jo kovinio kokybinio ojyiknmmij
Opiikkou7ohk
the world doesnt feel real, i feel like im playing a game but there is lag, like i cant ever fully stay connected to my character. i dont want to play this game anymore.....
KEEP GOING DÈAR! YOU WILL ALWAYS BE LOVED! THIS GAME IS WORTH PLAYING!
Finally someone realizes that its not only derealization which exists
tw : venting, rambling, dissociation
it's not even scary anymore, i've been trying so hard to get away from this world, this reality and now i'm in this state of dissociation. it's just like that. it feels weird, but at least i'm not that hurt because i don't even know if these feelings are real.
I feel like my body isn’t me, I’m just a voice In a body, I feel like my body isn’t me, I can’t recognise myself, I can’t remember how I look. I can’t even describe myself
I feel like I’ve slipped into a different reality where I’m just watching the world move without me
Depersonalization: a state in which one's thoughts and feelings seem unreal or not to belong to oneself, or in which one loses all sense of identity.
Derealisation:
a feeling that one's surroundings are not real, especially as a symptom of mental disturbance.
Dissociation:
the disconnection or separation of something from something else or the state of being disconnected.
I feel both of these. All the time, and this playlist is relatable, but it did trigger depersonalization. Now I have to add it to the list of millions of mental illnesses, disabilities, ect I have. Species Dysphoria doesn't help, it can be exciting or magical when I have it, but its also depressing too. Life sucks, but you're strong for pushing through it. A unique strong, much around you don't have. You're not alone. It doesn't help, but there are millions alike to you no matter what.
Me, my friends and family struggle with this we just call it an autopilot as if we are the pilot, but we aren't really needed so the subconscious takes control just letting ourselves kind of come in and out of consciousness. That's my take on it atleast.
I would wake up in the morning with my vision blurred, kind of dizzy like as If I was high. I get up and I'm just immediately on autopilot. It's like my body knows what to do but I'm not mentally here, not fully conscious. I'm just watching myself do things and sometimes won't remember afterwards. It's getting better now ever since I got on my meds. Life gets better when you're surrounded by good friends and feel grateful about the little things. You're not alone, you can do it. I truly believe so because I was in the worst place possible in my life until I made an effort to meet people and actually end up having a good friend i could finally rely on and be there for them as well. ♥️
We will be alright guys, we can do this.
Everything's alright
I say inside my head
to ignore all the delusions and madness
The feeling I'm lost, I'm not here
looking through glass, the world around me fades
How can I decide if I'm real or fake?
It doesn't make sense
not anymore
Is my skin a piece of clothing?
Or something I own
Questions I often ponder
as I begin to swirl and shake
that moment feels like forever
as my soul descends from a dream
a dream I can't escape
For me my derealization has been so bad recently. I was writing to myself in the future in 3rd person and it just stressed me out because I felt departed from my consciousness, like everything was a dream no one around me, not even me, was real
For my derealization, I think that everything isn’t real. I sometimes confuse reality with fantasy. Like this whole world is a game, and I’m the player, who has to find the ending. Like I’m inside a bubble, and it hurts to try and break out.
For depersonalization, it’s like a tv show. Like a VR set. Like I’ve said before, a game. And I see through my POV, and think my thoughts and my activities, but it’s like... not me. Like this body isn’t mine. I’m trapped inside and forced to play this game to find a way out.
dissociation has happened to me once, i remember this day like it was yesterday. i woke up and looked at my hands and before i spoke it felt like i already said the words. my body felt like it wasnt my body. it felt like a bunch of blood was flowing inside me. people would speak to me and it felt like i was watching myself. i thought of the awnsers and it felt like i was saying them. i looked in the mirror asking myself if it was really me. Honestly that was one of the freakiest moments of my life i couldnt ever imagine living like that for months even weeks or two days in a row. it was so strange.
(please respond i need someone to talk to).
Yes dissociation and derealization are awful and I want to get this out of my head but it is like i‘m stuck in my body
Yeah I’ve felt the same every single day for four years now but im in therapy now and it does help
Hey friend, dissociating is no fun, wanna talk?
My experience is being outside and just feeling like I’m in a big room instead of a place. My depth perception is messed up and I forget I exist. I feel floaty and like I’m being pushed by someone behind me. 🗿
finally a playlist that helps me dissociate
course! :)
People enjoy that??
@@catloid6066 dissociation is different for everyone, some people use it as a means of escaping reality❤️
it’s like i’ve got a vr headset on but i cant remove it
ive always had dpdr symptoms, like as long as i remember. but rn has made me realise the extent that it’s damaged me, ive spent almost a whole year on ‘autopilot’, and i’m always inwardly hoping some outside source kills me before i have to make real choices. my god
my experience is personally thinking that life is a sheer simulation. whereas i am notified this is a simulation and i can almost see myself, its surreal. like, i’m in my body but its just a shell or a cave i’m in. and i can’t remember anything after doing it, which i believe is apart of dissociation. but i realize this life isn’t real, and i’m in a body that isnt mine.
Sometimes everything goes so radio silent, like I can’t feel anything, and I can see myself in the third person, and I don’t even think anymore, there’s only one thing on my mind
“Am I even real?”
Write this during a mental breakdown a couple months ago and now this is a line in a story I’m writing. Good job, me!
Tw:vent, depersonalization
It's like I'm not me I'm listening to someone make disitions in my head like two people in the same skull it thinks of what to say and I say it, it's like I'm not me, it's hard to convince myself I'm me. if I really am me why do i hear these voices like they are the one supposed to be speaking and tell me im not important or not needed. Why do I have them. Why am I like this. Why can't I be me. Am I me I don't even know anymore. And all people have to say is that I'm seeking attention, but "I" believe I need help. I don't even know what's real or fake anymore :l
At times the drift away brings comfort, I do not bother even to look back at myself. It is all quite beautiful, really.
Vent? Rant? Idk. I got no one else to share this with. Most of my life feels like a videogame. I'm in control of the player and everyone else corelates to me. It doesn't help that lots of coincidences happen and it scares me (if I learn the definition of a word and suddenly one of my friends use it casually) like nothing is real. But in 2020 since there was nothing else to do, I became really in touch with my emotions and thoughts. I started to actually notice amnesia gaps in my memory and the voices in my head. I'm scared. I can't tell if I'm faking everything. I can't stop thinking I can hear them. It's annoying, scary, and just ick. I don't like myself and I don't want to be a burden and I don't wanna be sent away. My therapist said it might be DID but I don't think I'm traumatized enough to have it. Anyway sorry for venting. Thanks for listening any advice is appreciated. Nice playlist btw
i cannot describe how i have the feeling i get when im derealising, i feel like im going to loose it and go crazy like some times i just spill hot water or i eat something really spicy and it kinda stops but sometimes it wont and im so scared that feeling will never go away. the feeling that im disconnected, alone and not real at all i cant deal with it anymore 💀💀
I remember this one time, 6th grade, english class. We were doing some kickball thing and I didn't feel like myself so I went to the bathroom. When I went in I started panicking because I looked like a very realistic video game? I don't really know how to explain it. I sat in the corner crying for a bit and eventually went back to the gym. I couldn't really feel my legs moving or my arms swinging. It felt like I genuinely was controlling a character in a video game or watching a TV show and I couldn't leave. I sat on the bleachers and couldn't snap myself out of it til I got home. This was at 10:45AM. I got home at 4:08PM. It was scary.
I have learned to accept I am disconnected from my physical self from time to time or for long stretches of time and it's distressing but I know it will be okay
Mine comes with utterly bizarre feelings. A sudden realisation that I am alive, that I am doing this right now. That I am at this very exact moment and not anywhere else. Anywhere else is here and I am here, I just realised that. And sometimes it feels like staring at multiple mirrors that go on forever and wonder if they have an end. But it's just the face of someone stuck within endless mirrors, gazing from every angle.
I've been dissociating more lately. Earlier, it happened again...it got worse. It was so difficult to convince myself that everything and everyone is real. I had a hard time breathing and I was staring at my hands and everything I could see, I think I was afraid that time. I can't tell exactly how I feel whenever I dissociate, but I believe I was scared and nervous. Does being lonely or feeling alone cause this to happen more? I've been seperated from most of my friends since 17th of October and I will be until 17th of December.
Tuesday I felt like I disociated I realized it was tuesday and froze I felt out of body and stared at my hands before rushing to my tutoring session. I always hate that feeling its the 3rd time its happened ever. Today I just stared at my self for a long time looking away ashamed idk if thats the dissiociation or something else.
its like my eyes are just windows i can see through. i wanna sau so much more about my derealization/depersonalization/dissociation but i cant explain it.
Me, my friends and family struggle with this we just call it an almost autopilot of sorts like your there but you only take control sometimes because you don't really need much thought to complete the task infront of you.
it doesn’t feel real anymore… i dont even think its real it feels like im watching a movie
derealization is oddly comforting but i want to escape
I became fuzzy all throughout my body
I had to concentrate on how cold the wall I had a grip on
I felt like I would pass out or just fall over
I'm slowly becoming less talkative than I originally was
I feel like I'm not in my body, I'm just a soul inside me. My emotions are like almost died, like i don't have feelings, just the bad emotions. My life is in auto pilot, i feel angry about anything around me, i just think about my past, and i feel like I'm gonna freak out.
i dont know how to describe it.
i constantly feel like I'm watching myself in third person, like a video game. Whenever I wake up, my body knows what to do but I'm not always mentally there. Its scary, it all feels like a dream.
i wrote this poem, I don't know. I'm not asking for sympathy, I just need to put it down somewhere.
The scary feeling of not being able to control
your every action that has a toll
on what the next second, or even day will be
he just wants to be free.
Feeling like he’s in a dream
who knew how loud you had to scream
to hear himself deeply in fear
he thinks it’s getting a bit too severe.
not feeling like he has control over his own body
god he wishes he can tell somebody.
seeing himself in third person
who knew it could just worsen
feeling detached from himself
It’s a scary thought coming from itself
The thing that makes him feel like a monster
Can be such a bother.
shriveled up into a ball
who knew how far
Staring into a cold dark pit of nothingness
Can turn into something so dangerous
people and things don’t feel real
It’s all just so surreal.
3.2.1 snap
Save him before he cracks.
not knowing what he’s capable of
And scared of what he can do
Yet if only if he could redo
He’d change the scary thoughts
Saving himself from you.
I'm about to switch with a physical berserker of my system, we're going to end up very self-harmed
I derealize and I look at my hand and it's like a drawing. "Where am I? Who are these people? What's going on?"
The saddest part is that I look at my own best friend and I don't recognize him. Like I know he's someone I know, but I don't recognize him as a person I know. This person that should be the one I recognize and grounds me to reality. But he isn't. And I think that's stupid
for me i experience dissociation and derealisation all the time, its like i’m in a state of dreaming. nothing ever feels real.
im always tired and unaware but aware at the same time? i don’t know. im aware im real, but my mind thinks of this world as a delusion
i hope it gets better for everyone eventually 😞
i used to feel like life was a tv show that i would watch bc i was in ‘friend groups’ where i wouldn’t talk, but i’ve stopped talking and now it feels like i’m just sitting at the back of my brain in the dark. but when i’m with specific people, i don’t feel like that, which is great. 2 ways i put it is, if im feeling genuinely sad, it feels like im drowning, and people or books drag me out and put me back on my little boat. but other times, when i’ve been drowning for a long time or i’ve been on my little boat without finding land (land being real life),it feels like gravity gets turned off and i’m floating, holding on to the ground by a little rope. a little bit ago i actually felt myself letting go of that rope, but i caught it just in time. i’m not sure what would’ve happened if i didn’t catch myself, maybe i was just tired though. thanks :).
When you got already all 4 d’s ( depersonification,derealization, dissociation,depression)
Sch: want me to give ya your 5 th~😏
it feels like a pressure in my chest, i know im here, i know i have control of my actions but, somehow, this feels surreal.
The amount of yuele in this playlist makes me so happy. I love all their songs, especially Pretty Bones and Pixel Affection
Nothing in my life is in my control...I'm not even in control of my own body, my own voice...something else is operating it. I've become overwhelmed with a strong hatred for everyone...a burning resentment that festers with every action I make. I can't remember what I did yesterday, or this morning...or a week ago....so I guess my actions don't even matter anymore? Everything is blurry, even my own face feels like clay... I'm not overwhelmed with the wish of death, rather, the wish of sleep... I just want to sleep and wake up a year from now...never facing the real world again...I don't want to feel real... I'm so tired of being real...
Somebody please please please tell me if this is depersonalization:
I don’t know how long this has been going on or maybe i just started noticing it recently, but no matter how hard i try it’s nearly impossible to be fully in the present. Everything I do, all the fun things, it all feels just okay. Not great, not memorable, just okay. I’m so tired I sometimes don’t have the energy to try and snap out so i succumb to the autopilot. My life is a loop which feels infinitely hard to break, especially since the things that used to be fun are just okay. I feel a ton of brain fog as well, I can’t tell if I’m valid for feeling some things or not. I just want a cure to this never ending dream.
Idk what I'm actually feeling right now.
Actually I'm not feeling anything right now. It feels as if I am half awake and half asleep at the same time. It's as if I was in a bubble and during that time I'm indifferent to the world around me. I see the world but somehow I don't feel anything while looking at it.
And then I just snap out of it, as if I was just turned off but with my eyes open
Its like my subconscious taking over for me, my thoughts and emotions are hardly my own my problems feel surreal, its like my very soul has abandonded me and im the only sliver of consciousness left in this shell of a human being
am i the only real person in a world full of other people that arent real? a reality that isnt real? i am just this soul inside this shell, is my soul not real either?
i very often think about my existence among other people too...like they are robots with no feelings, thoughts, opinions, they exist just to fill the void
[VENT TW?]
So lately I’ve accidentally been saying “we” or “us” when I ment to say “i” when talking to people and they just look at me weird after
I zone out a lot and can never focus on any work cause I usually don’t understand any of it
by “zoning out” idk if that’s what it is cause I kinda just sit somewhere and my vision gets blurry and it feels like I’m drowning in my thoughts that I can’t control
I get confused by a lot of things and all of this leads me to say “what?” A lot and a LOT of people are just like
“Omg stop saying what all the time”
“do you lack common sense or something?”
“ughhh nvm.”
So idk what to do 😀👍
After a particularly bad breakdown earlier today I’ve been fading in and out of feeling like “myself”. Like I’m the kins I take on and nobody at the same time. Like I’m just kinda…floating, not present in the moment or place. I have to go into work in a few minutes.
I am not looking forward to it in this….state
WTF i thought id never find a playlist with yeule but this is amazing !!!
For me it’s like sometime i see myself as third person and the only one that exists and everyone else around me is not real.
For me it's like the feeling that I'll wake up anytime, in the back of my head everything is just someone's dream, that there is some script and the fear that I've forgotten what's next when i never knew is scary,,,,
when ur depersonalazation gets so bad u just try using playlists to feel more alive
To me depersonalization, dissociation and derealization is a personal, individual experience and that everyone feels different about it. No matter what goes trough your mind only one thing is sure at this time : nothing looks real, being yourself is uncomfortable and is that even you ? The world as you see it trough your eyes sounds and seems all fake.
Personally dissociation is when I feel uncomfortable in some situations, like it’s too strange even though it should be a common thing. I totally don’t think that I am familiar with just simple things as talking or being anywhere.
Depersonalization happens when I look in the mirror, to a video or a picture of me. I feel like I literally stole someone’s life. That the real me is hiding in my brain observing, analyzing like an experience. And because of that I feel like I’m hiding something from my own self.
Derealization is when I just randomly realized that I something is off, not right. I’m in a sort of simulation, a game, an social experiment, a show. Like I’m actually in a virtual reality and that I’m dreaming when I’m not.
for me dissociation is almost like playing a videogame, where you don't control yourself but someone else, sometimes i became almost like unaware of my sorroundings, of the time passing. sometimes it's like im in autopilot mode and im just a little bit aware of what is happening almost like a dream. sometimes i even forget what i just said or did beacuse i was so in autopilot that i just didn't realize what is happening. it's been months now that i have this feeling that was slowly growing, i almost don't remember how i was before and im scared that im just faking this or maybe im just sleep deprived. but this feels too weird. im trying to get help but it's not easy. sometimes it's like my feelings aren't mine, it feels like im just empathizing someone else. im sorry if this was written in a shitty way but im rn in a really bad dissociation so yeah :/ hate this feeling.
My dissociation problem kinda feels like what autopilot would feel like. As of a part of me is just in another place while an empty shell is going about everydays business. Sometimes it's so strong that I try to focus but I'm unable to and then Im kinda stuck like that and then I start panicking sometimes.
Bruh I love all your playlists so far aaaaa and omori backgrounds just hit different
RIGHT!!! thank you so much 😄😄😁
I love this, the bio is great! The playlist fits perfectly!
thank u sm!!!
I feel like I’m in vr. Kinda like that one show “the amazing digital circus” it’s like nothing feels real and it’s all a delusion and I can’t take the headset off no matter what I do? Just me? Ok..
A lot of people in these comments are sqying they see themselves. I just feel like i am walking away from myself more and more while my heart drops and i barely think. Is that something else?
Listening to this as a OSDD system hits diff
dissociation is comforting, in a way. its scary giving up control, yea, but-
getting away from reality is just. its unknown and strange but i really want to not be here.
and, at the end of it, there’s not much to do with the control, so might just give it up to get away for a bit
thank you this is the only thing helping me through
I wake up and feel like nothing's real, not me, not my room, not the world.
you ever just feel like your thoughts are muted, like they are just barely there and you more so feel them then think them? what is that?
i can’t feel anything really. but i see it’s there. so i close my eyes, and i never have to feel it again.
Im gettin so many deja vus and im derealization its so confussing
I’m tearing up now because reading these comments, it’s like i’ve found what’s wrong… now how to solve it…
Derealization for me is like..
I feel like nothing is real.
Like im in a video, Sometimes. I have to look around and take a moment to stop and realize what reality.. Is.
Definitely an amazing playlist for this
Why don't I feel in control?
Why don't I feel real?
Does anything even Matter?
every time something triggers me into dp/dr i always feel like im a malfunctioning robot -- eyes blurry, no thoughts, head dizzy, and like im floating. im everywhere but not where i am. it's weird, i dont know how to explain everything.
Someone in the comments compared life to a game with lag, and it reminded me of something I experienced a lot as a child and only experience it every blue moon now that I’m older. But when my parents of people I knew said things that made me feel upset, everything felt like it got slower, the moment of them saying it was clipped and it replayed over and over till some outside source snapped me out of it. It felt like they were mocking me, accusing me with mean words that were originally just said as offhanded comments. I think it’s worth noting that though it made me cry, I loved it and did so many things to try and get the feeling to start over again. It somehow felt euphoric and eventually I couldn’t help myself from smiling when I would see their distorted figures mock and try to hurt me. I’m not sure what this is, like at all, I don’t believe it correlates to anything in the title of the video, but i just started thinking about all the weird unreal things that happened to me as a kid and this is still a very prominent part of my mind, so I sort of just started typing
Dreams are so terrifying because they feel the same as when I wake up :[
It’s like I spaced out for a long time and I was doing important stuff when all of a sudden just “blank” I fell over when I was blank because it felt like I left my body
Does anyone else feel like, when you look at your hands, your thighs, your mirror, "its not real, it doesn't feel right, this is a lie"?
I dont have this i think… but i have this weird habbit of switching personality everytime when im talking to someone.. its like library but with personalities.. I hate it i don’t feel like real person and i don’t wanna be like this i wanna be normal
It's especially bad at night. Everything is like a dream, I don't feel my body anymore, is this the real world? I have no more appetite, no more thirst, I just want to be in the here and now. I'm scared of passing out or even dying. I need help and at the same time I don't want to let anyone get close to me. I'm not alone, thanks for being here.
I've been..noticing things more than I use to. I keep finding sticks shaped like a wish bone. Objects move/change when I look away. Maybe its a glitch in the system. All these obstacles..I still don't understand what I'm suppose to do. why do people not believe me? Or are they trying to cover it up so I don't break the code?
i don't know if this is exactly dissasociation but does anyone feel like 2021 didn't happen? and this isn't only because of [current world event], it feels like a multitude of things made 2021 not real. 2020 felt like so long ago and i know there _was_ a year in between this one and 2020, but 2021 was just.... a blur? it felt more like a series of moments like the days in-between didn't matter. it felt like i was alive one day and then there was this gap in time and i'd suddenly be alive again a week later. i felt like i was on autopilot the whole year, a lot of my feelings were just kinda stagnant. like, i'd feel them, but i didn't feel them as much as i used to. at the same time though, if i was sad, i would absolutely break like a faucet.
i think it's gotten better, time feels more natural now and i think the reason for that is the fact that i count days now, which isn't even related to dissasociation, i count days because i'm documenting a hyperfixation on a character i like, but counting each day and acknowledging what number day it is has helped a lot in identifying that the day actually did happen. this year feels normal, it feels like it _should_ be October right now. writhing this is kinda terrifying but it feels nice to actually write down my thoughts... somewhat coherently
I’m so tired of this, it always comes back without my meds, I’m tired of having to take them. It never ends you just learn to live with it and pretend it’s not happening. It’s gotten so much worse with age I hate it
Does anyone else look in the mirror and genuinely see nothing? Like ur face is melting off and being replaced with tv static. You get to lightheaded and soon you stop remembering things. So forgetful but it's because ur in ur head all the time. None of my body parts feel like they're mine. I walk around and everyone I interact with feels like sort of a video game I've okay a million times. It all feels so fake and predictable. All scripted lines and nothing is their actual feelings. None of it is actually them. Nothing helps and I just have to ride it out. This has been happening too often lately and I'm not sure what to do about it. It's not scary most of the time. It's mostly just surprising when it starts. I could be fine one minute then I use the bathroom and while washing my hands i look in the mirror and see nothing on my face. And that starts it. My voice isn't mine, my thoughts aren't mine, my body isn't mine, nothing I see is real as if I'm trapped in this body and once it gives out I'll finally be free.
For some reason this makes one of my alters come out 😭😭😭
It got me out. I'm not allowed out. This is nice :)
I don't know much about any of this but but I often feel like I'm not real I don't feel solid I don't feel connected I feel like my body is something that I can forget umm my experiences or something I can disconnect from when it comes to myself I can't even see my cell phone most it's like the traits that I have physical or not physical it's something that is hard to kind of list without me telling myself that I'm describing somebody else I have to pretend like I'm describing somebody else because I I don't know how feel about me I I don't know it feels like I'm constantly looking through a hazy lens I can't see clearly I can be like OK yeah I can be lazy yeah I can't be this and that.
I often see myself as another person I don't feel like the body or my emotions or my thoughts are truly mine I feel like I am at the passenger seat and I'm just watching, observing it's like I'm looking at myself doing all these things sometimes I like her sometimes but nowadays when I notice more things about her I really like her but she's not me though I don't know what "me" is. I don't know what this is I I feel like a cloud I feel like however I'm just an eye in the clouds looking.
the fact that this just makes it easier to disassociate makes it even better of a playlist
My dissociation is hyper realisation it's getting too frequent
Derealization feels like I’m in a dream or like they’re NPCs. Sometimes I even find myself not being emotionally attached to people I know. For example, I was walking with my dad (he didn’t notice bc I was behind him) when I started to feel like I was in a dream, and I even felt like I never knew my dad, I just felt like he was a random person. I snapped out of it and remembered he’s my dad. Sometimes I even question if it’s reality or am I really in a dream, like one time where I experienced derealization at school (no one knows yet) and I was actually questioning myself if I was actually sleeping and I missed school or that I fell asleep in the middle of the class 😭
idk but every time i accidentally slept for 2 hours instead of 5 minutes, id wake up and feel dizzy and that the world just isn’t real. that this is a simulation. or maybe if i watched videos for too long, it’s the same thing. except i feel drunk and high. is this normal for an 11 year old kid?
thanks for the playlist
this playlist is like whole omori experience converted into music
Muito obrigada pela playlist:) adoraria mesmo você postasse mais videos
If the UA-cam translator doesn't work:
Thank you so much for the playlist :) I would really love for you to post more videos
I lost myself i don’t know who im and what’s the point i see things that are familiar but strange and new i see everything moving fast around i stare and get lost my memories are fading slowly i barely recognize myself i have no memories or will to live i dont feel prisent i can’t believe i exist i don’t know what is this and what’s happening…….
Dissociating now. Struggling to get words out of brain. Thank you. Need this.