1. For Security 2. For Validation 3. To Be Accepted 4. Confirmation Of Experience 5. Self Definition 6. To Make An Impact 7. To Have The Other Initiate 8. To Express Love
Listening to this I discovered that none of my relational needs were met as a child. Zero. Zip. Nada. I had a pathologically narcissistic mother. To heal from such a bad start in life, I’ve been reparenting. That combined with the perspective of life as a game. There’s that book titled “Born to Win” on my list of Must Reads. Excellent video. Thank you!
I'm actually reading 'born to win' at moment, it is a must for anyone wanting a good clear and reliable intro to TA, deals heavily with script patterns and how it comes about, amongst many other tools for self insight or understanding others - even abusive parents better. It should be essential reading for anybody with any stance of self inquiry, really is worth picking up.
@@francesgamesThank you. I will check that out. Currently I am working with recreating inner dialogue, to essentially rewrite the bad programming. Dr. Julien Mirivel’s book about positive communication. It’s designed for interpersonal relationships but I am applying it to the inner dialogue. You see the double whammy I had growing up was the total lack of conversation. The communication was one way; my narc mom dictated. So it’s become a rewiring of my brain to actually grasp real conversation. When a child of a narcissistic parent grows up, the negative inner voice becomes part of them as an adult. It’s always playing in the background, devaluing the person. So I am essentially ending the mind F by having conversations with positive communication with reality. It’s working. Imagine growing up and never being good enough? I was above and beyond good enough, but a child is a prisoner to the overbearing parent’s will and their opinions. So it’s about that too, and none of it has been easy. It has been rewarding. I had no idea how little value I was investing in myself. It’s crazy. Anyway, now I am not just approaching my inner self mentally, but by also realizing my WILL CENTER was manipulated (by a conniving nincompoop). So I am address the body. There’s an actual physical sensation to being shut down and shut up by all my intimate relationships. Anyway, now I am on a roll and so happy to be healing, at 61! Thank God. Thank goodness
@@francesgamesThis is the book’s summary. ua-cam.com/video/zgQc7dCQomg/v-deo.htmlsi=eGKDLjeeP9QOENDv It took awhile to find one featuring a real person. There are a fair amount of AI compilations on this platform, complete with video stock and that monotone computer voice, with terrible intonation and inflection.
Thank this man for speaking so openly and eloquently about these very real relational needs. I have experienced some shame having these needs unmet, especially with this whole "love yourself, everything is inside you" type culture I live in. I find this video validating to my experience, nobody around me talks about those things
1. For Security
2. For Validation
3. To Be Accepted
4. Confirmation Of Experience
5. Self Definition
6. To Make An Impact
7. To Have The Other Initiate
8. To Express Love
4. Confirmation of Personal Experience :)
Listening to this I discovered that none of my relational needs were met as a child. Zero. Zip. Nada. I had a pathologically narcissistic mother.
To heal from such a bad start in life, I’ve been reparenting. That combined with the perspective of life as a game. There’s that book titled “Born to Win” on my list of Must Reads.
Excellent video. Thank you!
I'm actually reading 'born to win' at moment, it is a must for anyone wanting a good clear and reliable intro to TA, deals heavily with script patterns and how it comes about, amongst many other tools for self insight or understanding others - even abusive parents better. It should be essential reading for anybody with any stance of self inquiry, really is worth picking up.
@@francesgamesThank you. I will check that out. Currently I am working with recreating inner dialogue, to essentially rewrite the bad programming. Dr. Julien Mirivel’s book about positive communication. It’s designed for interpersonal relationships but I am applying it to the inner dialogue. You see the double whammy I had growing up was the total lack of conversation. The communication was one way; my narc mom dictated. So it’s become a rewiring of my brain to actually grasp real conversation. When a child of a narcissistic parent grows up, the negative inner voice becomes part of them as an adult. It’s always playing in the background, devaluing the person. So I am essentially ending the mind F by having conversations with positive communication with reality. It’s working. Imagine growing up and never being good enough? I was above and beyond good enough, but a child is a prisoner to the overbearing parent’s will and their opinions. So it’s about that too, and none of it has been easy. It has been rewarding. I had no idea how little value I was investing in myself. It’s crazy.
Anyway, now I am not just approaching my inner self mentally, but by also realizing my WILL CENTER was manipulated (by a conniving nincompoop). So I am address the body. There’s an actual physical sensation to being shut down and shut up by all my intimate relationships. Anyway, now I am on a roll and so happy to be healing, at 61! Thank God. Thank goodness
@@francesgamesThis is the book’s summary.
ua-cam.com/video/zgQc7dCQomg/v-deo.htmlsi=eGKDLjeeP9QOENDv
It took awhile to find one featuring a real person. There are a fair amount of AI compilations on this platform, complete with video stock and that monotone computer voice, with terrible intonation and inflection.
As a side note, an earlier comment I made magically disappeared. Perhaps it will reappear
Thank this man for speaking so openly and eloquently about these very real relational needs. I have experienced some shame having these needs unmet, especially with this whole "love yourself, everything is inside you" type culture I live in. I find this video validating to my experience, nobody around me talks about those things
Can't wait for Richard lectures in Belgrade.
great thank you. I am exploring my needs.None of these were there in mychildhood, Now I am experiencing them
I am so glad to have just found this thank you!
Great Richard!
Great insights.
Excellent!
Wow this dude taught in a trailer at Willow Spring Elementary School forever ago
this is great :)
Коллеги, было бы здорово, если бы выступление Эрскина было переведено на русский язык. Может ли кто нибудь это организовать?
Everyone have their own ideas about psychotherapy, except this guy, he stole everyone else’s ideas, put them together and called it integrative.