Wonderful as always! Can you expand more on working with and validating our inner child. What does it look like? I have an idea of the concept but you have a way of getting right to the meat of what I need to learn. Thank you for all you do.
IFS is a great framework to go at this with imo, but there might be other more effective ways too. there are different characters within us all, including our inner child (who is often hurting, called an exile in IFS) who we need to speak to directly as if they were another person. speaking to yourself as another person also works for regular stuff in general like finding motivation. I hope this helps.
Yesterday, I experienced genuine but inconvenient grief over a loss. I started to shame myself when suddenly, I realized & said outloud, " Wait a minute. This grief is real, it was earned and Now is No Time to Try to Be Perfect." And I burst out laughing. How refreshing.
My Narcissistic mother would admonish me that I should just see what she needs and she shouldn’t have to ask me. Also no situations or my feelings were ever discussed. But she would frequently ask, “How would you feel if you were me?”
I am started to realize I have abandonment and trust issues from my childhood that I ended my relationship with a good guy and now I pay the price for not speaking up and being who I am as a person rather than portraying someone else.
Ime this issue has been the #1 reason for relations going "bad" in my life, whether it's with women, bandmates, filmmakers, or family. I notice their insecurity, and try to ignore it. But it ALWAYS surfaces and creates misunderstanding, chaos, projections, sabotage, jealousy, and eventually forces me to dump these people [reverse discard]. I need to learn to not ignore the red flags, and quit feeling like I can "fix" them. It's my desperation to create something wonderful, but I have to realize I can't do that with damaged ppl who won't confront their own insecurities. That's MY illness I have to recover from, the "Fixer", the ever-helping INFJ who ignores red flags for "potential".
What if you’ve gotten the courage to have these conversations but the person does not change or behaviors change for a little bit but then return back to the same problems? I’m so grateful for your channel!
Lisa, I appreciate you having the courage, drive, willingness, and articulation to share your experiences. I went through your 12 week program about a year ago. My life has changed in so many ways for the better. And so has my son, my family memebers. I still watch your content to continue my masterpiece in progress 😉 journey. I just wanted you to know that your life purpose helped me find myself, heal, and now I can share my purpose with the world from a place of love inside myself.
This is so timely because I'm currently going through this right now and discovered how insecure I am without having my best friend of 10 yrs around. I had been relying on him, dependent of him too much, and I'm getting my validations from the outside rather than from the inside. I have a lot of work to do. Thank you for making this video.
I’m screaming “ We are accelerating our ability to LOVE the self !” ALL ABOARD THE SELF LOVE TRAIN 🚆 To anyone else that has felt alone I want to encourage u. We are all riding a train 🚆 on the way to healthier relationships with ourselves AND EACH OTHER! We’re chatting on the train before the next stop “ her next video “! Follow her guidance , grab a snack, say a prayer for yourself and your passengers on this train , we’re hugging with words in the comments and ready to get off the train to practice what we’re learning! I’ll see u on this next train ride to SECURELY ATTACHEDVILLE! U got this… we got this! Trust me when I say it getting better and better each trip! This has been friendly, fun loving locomotive driver, I hope this trip was as good for u as it was for me! DID I make anyone smile 😀 bc Lisa put a huge smile on my face and I wanted to share the love❣️
Um,,, there are worse things than being alone. I stayed with a woman 3 years after she raped me. Absolutely right. About the inner child validation. So many people have said the past is in the past- move on.. I don’t talk to them anymore.
It’s always going to be this way it feels. I always get drawn back. I see the thing’s happening. It’s like I’m trapped in it. I use to not be aware though. Maybe there’s hope.
I can do relate and am separated from my husband now. All of these traits are true of me! Would love to have sessions with you. I love your style, as I am from New Jersey and I can really relate to you. My dad Died when I was 3 1/2 and I had a narcissistic man. And I married to narcissistic men. I need to break the cycle learning a lot and I thank you for your content
Serious question... What's it look like/feel like to make space in your life for someone else? I've had times where I've been confident and feeling healthy, but nobody ever is attracted to me enough to want to date me, or even ask. I look around my house sometimes and wonder if I'm supposed to be keeping empty spaces on the walls for my life roommate? Which sounds dumb but like, everyone i know who paired up with someone did it while their house was half full, like say they were in college and in the "accumulation" phase of their life, including a life partner. I feel like I'm out of the accumulation phrase but have no partner. So... What now? Am i Christmas cake forever? Any insights (in a video especially) would be appreciated :)
I get attached to women in authority. I grew up with baby siters and teachers as my parents. I was so shy as a child and women put me though some hard time's all my life
Wonderful as always! Can you expand more on working with and validating our inner child. What does it look like? I have an idea of the concept but you have a way of getting right to the meat of what I need to learn. Thank you for all you do.
First you have to meet them.
It could be repressed from childhood trauma.
IFS is a great framework to go at this with imo, but there might be other more effective ways too. there are different characters within us all, including our inner child (who is often hurting, called an exile in IFS) who we need to speak to directly as if they were another person. speaking to yourself as another person also works for regular stuff in general like finding motivation. I hope this helps.
Our self worth must come from emotional resilience (not from external appraisal) 💞 noFear
#ThankYou for these reminders #Lisa (we've come a long way)
Yesterday, I experienced genuine but inconvenient grief over a loss. I started to shame myself when suddenly, I realized & said outloud, " Wait a minute. This grief is real, it was earned and Now is No Time to Try to Be Perfect." And I burst out laughing. How refreshing.
My Narcissistic mother would admonish me that I should just see what she needs and she shouldn’t have to ask me. Also no situations or my feelings were ever discussed. But she would frequently ask, “How would you feel if you were me?”
OMG I thought my relationship picker was broken! This used to be me until I got comfortable living alone!
13:55
Living with others healthfully is the goal.
I am started to realize I have abandonment and trust issues from my childhood that I ended my relationship with a good guy and now I pay the price for not speaking up and being who I am as a person rather than portraying someone else.
Ime this issue has been the #1 reason for relations going "bad" in my life, whether it's with women, bandmates, filmmakers, or family.
I notice their insecurity, and try to ignore it. But it ALWAYS surfaces and creates misunderstanding, chaos, projections, sabotage, jealousy, and eventually forces me to dump these people [reverse discard].
I need to learn to not ignore the red flags, and quit feeling like I can "fix" them. It's my desperation to create something wonderful, but I have to realize I can't do that with damaged ppl who won't confront their own insecurities. That's MY illness I have to recover from, the "Fixer", the ever-helping INFJ who ignores red flags for "potential".
What if you’ve gotten the courage to have these conversations but the person does not change or behaviors change for a little bit but then return back to the same problems? I’m so grateful for your channel!
Lisa, I appreciate you having the courage, drive, willingness, and articulation to share your experiences. I went through your 12 week program about a year ago. My life has changed in so many ways for the better. And so has my son, my family memebers. I still watch your content to continue my masterpiece in progress 😉 journey. I just wanted you to know that your life purpose helped me find myself, heal, and now I can share my purpose with the world from a place of love inside myself.
This is so timely because I'm currently going through this right now and discovered how insecure I am without having my best friend of 10 yrs around. I had been relying on him, dependent of him too much, and I'm getting my validations from the outside rather than from the inside. I have a lot of work to do. Thank you for making this video.
I’m screaming “ We are accelerating our ability to LOVE the self !” ALL ABOARD THE SELF LOVE TRAIN 🚆
To anyone else that has felt alone I want to encourage u. We are all riding a train 🚆 on the way to healthier relationships with ourselves AND EACH OTHER! We’re chatting on the train before the next stop “ her next video “! Follow her guidance , grab a snack, say a prayer for yourself and your passengers on this train , we’re hugging with words in the comments and ready to get off the train to practice what we’re learning! I’ll see u on this next train ride to SECURELY ATTACHEDVILLE! U got this… we got this! Trust me when I say it getting better and better each trip! This has been friendly, fun loving locomotive driver, I hope this trip was as good for u as it was for me! DID I make anyone smile 😀 bc Lisa put a huge smile on my face and I wanted to share the love❣️
😊
Um,,, there are worse things than being alone.
I stayed with a woman 3 years after she raped me.
Absolutely right. About the inner child validation. So many people have said the past is in the past- move on.. I don’t talk to them anymore.
This is just wow!!!! Very true.
Already Love. Great intro! Thank you!
Im not so afraid of being left. That’s easier than knowing and having reflected back to me that ive shown im flawed and didnt do it perfectly
That’s the key! Transforming this fear sets you free!
Thank you Lisa
Thank you for taking the time to produce this
It’s always going to be this way it feels. I always get drawn back. I see the thing’s happening. It’s like I’m trapped in it. I use to not be aware though. Maybe there’s hope.
How do you handle dynamics where both parties are coming out of codependency?
Thank you Lisa. ❤️🌼
This was me, learning to not be codependent❤ thankful for your work ❤
Thumbs up
I can do relate and am separated from my husband now. All of these traits are true of me! Would love to have sessions with you. I love your style, as I am from New Jersey and I can really relate to you. My dad Died when I was 3 1/2 and I had a narcissistic man. And I married to narcissistic men. I need to break the cycle learning a lot and I thank you for your content
Such a beautiful and healing words
I loved this message Lisa. It is all so true. Thank you❤
Thank you, Lisa!
Thank you 🙏🏽 ❤
❤i call it my ‘inner compass’ 🥰👍
Serious question... What's it look like/feel like to make space in your life for someone else? I've had times where I've been confident and feeling healthy, but nobody ever is attracted to me enough to want to date me, or even ask. I look around my house sometimes and wonder if I'm supposed to be keeping empty spaces on the walls for my life roommate? Which sounds dumb but like, everyone i know who paired up with someone did it while their house was half full, like say they were in college and in the "accumulation" phase of their life, including a life partner.
I feel like I'm out of the accumulation phrase but have no partner. So... What now? Am i Christmas cake forever? Any insights (in a video especially) would be appreciated :)
I am going through this right now. I know I am a great person and a good catch.
I relate to every word… Thank you so much ❤
Is there anyway to deal with mother figure obsessions?
What does it mean to process emotions? Is it analyzing it?
Picking the right person in the first place is 90% of winning the love game isn't it?
I get attached to women in authority. I grew up with baby siters and teachers as my parents. I was so shy as a child and women put me though some hard time's all my life
I get attached to strong women
They make my life normal
Gone fishing Cris rea.
Becoming unattatached
Contment not anixty
🤗❤️