He listens to the voices from beyond as they give him ideas like " you deserve nothing " and " they know what you plan to do " for this one and his agenda
I thought of this. I’m not happy that someone stole my joke. Or I thought of someone else’s joke without seeing it then wanting to post it but someone already posted it.
This is the greatest display of passive aggressiveness I've ever seen. When you come home to nothing for dinner and you wanted to show just how displeased you are. "What's for dinner honey?" "Nothing." "Oh..."
I’ve had this before. One thing I like about it is that it’s gluten free, GMO free, sugar free, and has no carbs. It is a bit lacking in protein, but other than that, it tastes phenomenal.
Reminder to become a patron of Rift's, link in the description. As you can see, he's eating and drinking nothing. Throw him some money so he can eat that.
@@calebcarter367 Years later I realise that it makes sense. Plankton live off of light, so Karen making a hologram - a light projection - actually does feed him.
I always love brewing my own home-made nothing. - 231oz of pure nothing. Just dump all the nothing in that shit. - 6oz of air. - Let it come to an imaginary simmer, then sprinkle about 8 grams (9 if I'm feeling a little nothing) of thought. - Stir with a unicorn's horn to add that extra shimmer. - Once it starts not boiling take it off the heat and set 4 to 6 bags of imagination in it and let time do the rest. In about an hour you'll have a weeks worth of Jack shit.
unknown lad I’m pretty sure some dude started a trend where we try to take over the internet. I only made this my profile pic because my friends told me to. Also this is JC Denton. The protagonist of Deus Ex. Not a terminator.
@@justintorres5143 sad little shit, you just like your own comment like someone else cared 😂. Just leave him and be nice to other people. You disgust me
@@astranox240 People need to be cool with dark humor, its just that: dark humor. All love to all African people and mather of fact they have some tasty good food.
You know, I’m only slightly disappointed you didn’t record sounds of a real meal (food, water pouring, etc) and then layered those over the sight of you eating nothing. Regardless, still a funny and enjoyable video as always! Keep never running out of ideas! 👍
I'm two minutes in and I'm legitimately enjoying this. I hope he actually keeps this up for the next twenty nine minutes. Edit: He did and I've never been happier.
You cause so many problems. Like The Simpsons. If someone want to do something creative, probably you've already done it. In the books about ASMR history you will be presented the same for ASMR as Tony Iommi is for guitar riffs. Period.
I make can make some pretty boss nothing. You want to start out by putting nothing in a pan and not doing anything to it. While nothing is happening on the stove, you could take nothing out of the fridge to add to it, but nothing is perfect, so you can serve nothing as it is and nothing would make you happier.
When I first saw this I thought nothing made sense, but then I realized I had nothing to lose... and yknow what? He really made something out of nothing.
@@AALIXD I find lots of channels in unexpected ways. I once found someone in the Closed Captions writers list of a JaidenAnimations video and we both watch each other's channel to this day.
Me: Mom let's go to McDonald's
Mom: We got food at home!
Food at home:
ты русский язык уважаешь?
@@nickeyfive Увожаю🧐
@@Федір-п1с маладца
Why everyone talking another language
@@bobfafe1465 No tengo ni idea
this is actually him passive-aggressively asking for more people to support his patreon
I appreciate the insaniquarium profile picture, you too, are a man of culture
[Presses (X) to doubt]
yeah, that´s what I was thinking when I saw the title
Haha yeah but He’s a funny man who puts a lot of effort into his videos
Or to remind people to actually eat....
I swear, Rift has literally no end to his insanity/creativity/both.
What do you mean he has nothing
He listens to the voices from beyond as they give him ideas like " you deserve nothing " and " they know what you plan to do " for this one and his agenda
@@clanof1144it's been 4 years
Doctor from just outside the door: “He’s doing... what?”
Nurse: “he’s eating nothing with someone that isn’t there....”
Doctor: “. . . . . . .”
This would be nice with your coment for arckam sanitarium
Which one? I honestly can’t remember ‘-‘
😂😂😂
Lord Of Jonkeys “The spotted one? Good call.”
He's eating nothing with nothing on top, with nothing on the side, while drinking nothing, and nothing, with nothing sitting across from him.
"oops, I almost spilled it." lmao
That killed me lol
Lol I've never almost spilled a bowl full of nothing before.
9:10 “What’s that? Thanks for nothing? No need to thank me. It was nothing.”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
SunShine SPN Was that really necessary?
actual comedic genius
there’s literally 6 layers of irony and 20 layers of comedy
My mind is folding in on itself
Waiter : what would you like to eat?
Rift : *no*
BadgerClogss _ me tho on the other hand
*yes*
*Absolutely not.*
*The tremendous don’t.*
I was the 421 like on this comment
@@dhps-ti1md I was the 422 like on this comment
him: "whoops almost spilt it"
me: spilt what?
him: *nothing*
You don’t wanna spill the nothing it’s incredibly rare
This had me cracking up at 2 am lmao
Nothing can you not see the creamy nothing?
@@pabloenrique6084 This had me cracking up at 7:50pm lol
I thought of this. I’m not happy that someone stole my joke. Or I thought of someone else’s joke without seeing it then wanting to post it but someone already posted it.
Him: knocks over the plate
Mom: what just fell
Him: nothing
NO
Cheesy
Omg prompts for that one bro
A plate fell
XD
Mmmm, just like grandma use to make it...
😂💀
Cdtvproductions
@@ecco2ks yes that's me
jerson hernandez she’s dead
jerson hernandez That must be a very kind grandma
18:30 "I lost my train of thought." - Eh it was probably nothing
Miért pont sajtos kifli? 😯
DarkArcher9991HUNGARY mert az finom
No it was probably nothing
@@エコー-n6gPretty sure it was nothing actually
@@firebros03 the fact that people still watch this fills me with joy, however I’m more certain it was nothing rather than nothing
This is the greatest display of passive aggressiveness I've ever seen. When you come home to nothing for dinner and you wanted to show just how displeased you are. "What's for dinner honey?" "Nothing." "Oh..."
Next up:
-ASMR Let's Eat Something!
-ASMR Let's Eat Anything!
-ASMR Let's Eat Everything!
Grand Admiral Thrawn I eat Jon, it's what I do
Followed by:
-ASMR There’s Nothing Left To Eat
Lets cook up some rebel scum
asdek
-ASMR Let’s Eat Everyone!
And finally
-ASMR Let’s Eat Each other!
@@PrettyNeatArt
ASMR: Let's buy something to eat!
Oh boy holographic meatloaf my favorite
Would you like the secret formula?
Josh DeRose
*Plankton wants to know your location*
You know it's funny because plankton feed off of light
@@datboi8370 I never realice that, what a clever show, thanks dude.
W
I loved this Great Depression role play
Wild Wastelander omg
That’s going to end up being a title of on of his next video or possibly getting Corvus to heal someone from the Great Depression
You mean his soviet union role play?
@@burgerkingdoneoofed8471 no he means the great depression because capitalism starves people as well
@@xetaxetaxeta communism starves people more
I’ve had this before. One thing I like about it is that it’s gluten free, GMO free, sugar free, and has no carbs. It is a bit lacking in protein, but other than that, it tastes phenomenal.
This is like one of those fake tea parties or picnics you used to have with your stuffed animals as a child
Okay, who ACTUALLY had those?
^^^
Oh my god you're right-
OMG yeah. When you would put in plays, parties, picnics, restaurants, play mums and dads, schools, hospitals, doctors, etc. I miss those days.
@@alexthebudgie9071 yessss
When u ask ur girl what she wants to eat and she says, “I don’t know”
WELL I GUESS WE’RE HAVING NOTHING
Perfect stay-at-home date
Victoria’s Secret model meal plans exposed!
Lol
What are you laughing at?
Nothing
It better be nothing because if it is something, youre getting your ass whipped
Oh no, im so scared. Shut up biatch
Emm... Is everything ok with your budget?...... Rift?
You don’t understand our culture
Addpocalyps dear friends, the begining of the end
My name isn't rift! 😡
“Thanks for nothing”
“No problem, it was nothing”
Lmfao I’m trying to sleep😂
He protecc
He attacc
But most importantly,
nothing is his snacc
Νikos Mcmahon 😂😂!!
Oml XDD
He relax
He acts
But most importantly,
nothing is his snacc
Yes
You made so many awesome puns, you made it seem like there's nothing to it!
I could have your nothing
1930: In near future , we're going to have flying cars
2019:
We now eat nothing and drink nothing, world hunger has been solved.
Yeah pretty much
@@BloodInTheStrawberries bruh
@@BloodInTheStrawberries that's so sad, but so, so hilarious😂
@@BloodInTheStrawberries d*mn
Reminder to become a patron of Rift's, link in the description. As you can see, he's eating and drinking nothing. Throw him some money so he can eat that.
This is the best Mukbang video I've ever seen.
What the hell is mukbang
DrumCoversFromHell you don’t wanna know
@@Lanoman123 i looked up some videos. Looks like asians eating raw fish in huge portions
DrumCoversFromHell oh it’s some bad shit dude
He is so seamless. His acting skills are top notch
Mom: What do you want for dinner?
Me: Nothing
Mom:
Holographic meatloaf? My favourite!
Makuta Miserix plankton?
Yes?
Isn't that from SpongeBob
Karen made it well projected it for plankton
@@calebcarter367 Years later I realise that it makes sense. Plankton live off of light, so Karen making a hologram - a light projection - actually does feed him.
Gallius Lactaverunt / Silicad Good Job.
When youre broke and the paycheck arrives 2 weeks later " 😁
PHAZE209BEAST UGH SO ACCURATE!!! 😠😤😡
Me right now 😭
Mom: so what did you do today
Me: I watched a guy eat nothing
Mom: ...
Mom : ...Really did he eat nothing?
Me : ...Yeah... he did...
Mom : ...
Me: What's for dinner?
Mom: Nothing
Me: ....
Quirky.
“You are what you eat”
I am nothing.
mtanaa Whiteknife lmaoooo :))
Stop trying to get attention and be edgy
can i have a recipe please? looks delicious. how much hunger should i add?
All of it.
A few teaspoons of Time to give it a little less flavor
me play cooking at 5 when my family was too poor for the plastic food
I always love brewing my own home-made nothing.
- 231oz of pure nothing. Just dump all the nothing in that shit.
- 6oz of air.
- Let it come to an imaginary simmer, then sprinkle about 8 grams (9 if I'm feeling a little nothing) of thought.
- Stir with a unicorn's horn to add that extra shimmer.
- Once it starts not boiling take it off the heat and set 4 to 6 bags of imagination in it and let time do the rest.
In about an hour you'll have a weeks worth of Jack shit.
thanks! this helped a lot
"a weeks worth of jack shit" that killed me dude I almost dropped my phone into my toilet
TheBronzeGamer14
Lmao
😋😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Now I'm hungry. And you just talked about nothing
His micro-expressions when he says "nothing" are sending me.
Chef : what would you like ?
Ephemeral Rift : Yes
Coming right up, sir
*no
Chef: What would you like to eat, sir?
Ephemeral Rift: *No*
Jim Halpert *nothing
@@rvrcty9451 **no*
This man doesn’t run out of ideas
he is an omnipresent god!!!
(but yeah , his creativity is amazing)
I haven’t had a bowl of nothing since college. Looks good tho. 👌🏼
Good one
i ate sleep for dinner
😂😂😂😂
Kinda hoping my man would just take a bite out of the plate
well it wouldn’t be nothing then
I heard someone was eating my self confidence?
No wonder he’s eating nothing
@@l_Scoupz_l that's what they meant lol
@Tyvan Bird wha thu fuuu😑
Cringe.
ExoticGaming_ 808 kid u play roblox
Could you pass the nothing shaker please?
Uncle E is broke. Everybody let's donate him some money!
No
Yeah, I think he's trying to tell us something
He seems pretty well off tbh, I mean, there’s nothing on his table! I wish I could afford that much :/
Don't you mean Uncle ER. Uncle E is Markiplier
The day after you pay your bills.
I know someone already made this comment.
@Dark boiii 6 months, 1 comment.
😂😂😂😂
Then why’d you comment it
Why are u asking a year after the comment
Slowly loses his sanity throughout making this video lmao
Lmfao
@@FoxyBoxeryrun, I’m outside
@@spearhead5053
Oh no 😱
Me: *Is hungry*
The fridge: *Is full*
Also me being lazy: Lets eat nothing
This post was made by the *Night Owls gang*
This man is an artistic genius
tw, ed
me: it's the morning I should have breakfast
my eating disorder:
salem thanatos me too lol
ça c'est marrant ça
Sadly accurate. I hope you're well hun ❤️❤️
me this morning
Me
As a poor university student, I'm very familiar with this meal. I have it almost every day.
hey i hope that u are okay right know , how r u???
@@vamp92 Oh hi, ty for checking in :) I graduated and can actually afford to eat "something" now. So things have gotten better!
@@SpatialSloth Im late but I hope the best you get the BEST meals out here bro, congrats on graduating I could never with my lazy ass XD
True tho
just realized with the beard he kind of looks like hank from detroit become human
unofficial coca cola oh my god he does
HE IS HANK
I see ya
unofficial coca cola Wake up lieutenant
YYYYYOOOOOO HE DOES 😂😂😂😂😂
OPERATION RIFT
MISSION: Eat nothing for 31 minutes
31 likes 😂
Must be starving
Mission accomplished!!
I dont think i can do it!
1989: In 30 years we will have flying cars!
*2019:*
We got flying Kars instead
@@111games.lol that was funny
BRO YALL EVER HAD THAT JUICE CALLED AIR, BRUH THAT HELLA GOOD
best bevarge
I can’t live without it 💯
AND THEN YOU JUST LIKE BREATH
AND THEN YOU LIVE. THAT SHITS LIKE SO CRAZY DUDE
69
This still made me hungry...
Lol
Same... kinda weird don´t you think?
Leon Weber I think it’s the way he describes it all and seems completely serious 😅
😂
I overrate for lunch and I’m still full at 9pm so currently watching this instead of eating supper.
“Nice sized portion of nothing” Ephemeral Rift 2019
Why does every account with a weird name have terminator as their channel image
unknown lad I’m pretty sure some dude started a trend where we try to take over the internet. I only made this my profile pic because my friends told me to. Also this is JC Denton. The protagonist of Deus Ex. Not a terminator.
Ah yes. *sOlId AiR*
-Every College Student
@@certifiedorange4062 are you actually a Maximillianmus fan, or did you randomly find that profile picture somewhere?
I searched up “Communist ASMR” and this showed up.. 😭..
Under communism, you all have equal amounts of nothing!
I literally search for african food asmr
First of all, why were you looking up communist asmr XD
its yo boi money 1 I have to impress Papa Stalingrad
Haha gommunizm no food
I am starving but busy at work. So this is me right now.
Mr. Tattoo ASMR busy at work but have time to comment on a video but not to eat. Go fuck yourself😂
@@justintorres5143 stfu
@@justintorres5143 sad little shit, you just like your own comment like someone else cared 😂. Just leave him and be nice to other people. You disgust me
@@Grigoris_04 nah he had a good point
Yeah ur pretty busy watching asmr videos
Including a typical African dinner to include more culture to the channel! Great job!
Martinho Fonseca this is so sad but I couldn’t help but laugh
I was waiting for this comment uncomfortably long. Good I'm not the only one who's spreading such dark humor.
@@astranox240 People need to be cool with dark humor, its just that: dark humor. All love to all African people and mather of fact they have some tasty good food.
Yeah, I'd say the communism jokes are more offensive.
XD
Tinha que ser português essa porra
soviet citizen having dinner *1952 (Colorized)*
Wtf is this format
@@towelie1075 *what format?*
@@towelie1075 *this format?*
@@towelie1075 _or this format_
-guys we should tell him- *what format*
Friend: what's your favorite food?
Me: nothing
@@sayanrakshit its funny... but not cry laugh emoji funny...
Dad what’s for dinner?
E.r: communism.
🤣
Lol
What's for dinner?
*_a i r_*
Trueeeee
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH , I get it
You know, I’m only slightly disappointed you didn’t record sounds of a real meal (food, water pouring, etc) and then layered those over the sight of you eating nothing. Regardless, still a funny and enjoyable video as always! Keep never running out of ideas! 👍
that would have made it 100x better
@@firehearts6242 He could have two versions, before and after the sound effect editing.
I’m sure if you asked him kindly 😉
You're saying this isnt a real meal? WOW
Read the description, it's a video for those who hate those kind of sounds
Take a shot everytime he says “nothing”
St Jimmy only if it’s a shot of nothing
Mythical xCookie 😰😱
Don't think theres enough alcohol for that
My liver and kidney shut down, you happy now?
you'd be hungover for about three weeks if you did
Minecraft in peaceful mode:
lets eat nothing
Hey wait just a second if you could speak english all this time what the heck where you doing when I wanted enchants
@@GoblinsOfFarmington ahahahahha. I got it. You made my day
I just got an AdVenture Communist ad before this started playing
Thats literally amazingn
I just downloaded that app about 10 minutes before seeing this comment
Fitting
God's plan
Blame the Communist ASMR.
Rift, I didn't know times were that tough man.
your logo is very general sam esque
@@erickane8163 not sure who general sam is
Normal human: hey let’s eat, rift.
Rift: no. I don’t think I will.
I read this as "hey let's eat rift" lol
I am glad you have enough knowledge of the english language to put a comma there I don’t have that
Meme boi21
Commas saves lives, kids
Bro he's obviously eating nothing, smh.
Kirbo The Wirbo
Are you kidding
Who's good enough with video editing to insert some food items in post lmao?
I want to see this someone please do this
Nothing is better than something
I probably could lol
iguanadawn do it
@@oogabooga4233 id need to fix my laptop lol. I could then use adobe premire pro to edit and edit it.
I'm two minutes in and I'm legitimately enjoying this. I hope he actually keeps this up for the next twenty nine minutes.
Edit: He did and I've never been happier.
Asmr about to get nuked!
Asmr inside the bomb shelter
Asmr forgot to bring the food
Asmr eating nothing and insane
Asmr forgot to close hatch.
My mom: Thanksgiving is ready
Me: oh what is it?
My mom: *NOTHING*
Thanks for nothing
dude i have those plates and Bowls give them back please eating off Toilet Seats Gets Boring
Spring Water I get bored eating off toothbrushes
When he said “whoops I almost spilled it” at 0:55 I lost my shit
*The Soviet Union wants to know your location*
Why do I get the joke 😂
Nothing is cheaper than gulag
There'll be nothing "left"
I read this as soon as he said, "... I can't share this..."
@@whuskeywolf0032 it's all on the right
You cause so many problems. Like The Simpsons. If someone want to do something creative, probably you've already done it. In the books about ASMR history you will be presented the same for ASMR as Tony Iommi is for guitar riffs. Period.
Guitar "rifts"
how funny, this is the first time I'm eating something with you.
No it's not, he gave us nothing not something, so it's the first time eating nothing with him
I Read Devnotes LMFAO
This is one of those comments where an "Oh wait.." is mandatory.
I see rift has been shopping at the nothing shop I’m so jealous , I mean have you seen their most delectable selections of nothing
The average college student's full course meal 😋🍴
*O O P S A L M O S T S P I L L E D I T*
Lol
because you can copy a comment and space out the letters and make it bold it doesn't really make it funny...
the hat in the cat it does make it funny though
the hat in the cat its hilarious
@@fznf3376 cool i dont care?
When you try to make a video to ten minutes
28:16
HAHAHA IAMLAUGHINGAOHARD
Nobody:
Me on the second day of self-quarantine after I ate all my snacks:
E.R. NO! Those are all empty calories!
Lol
The only guy that can be extremely creative by literaly "doing nothing"
I LOVE YOU!!!
I make can make some pretty boss nothing. You want to start out by putting nothing in a pan and not doing anything to it. While nothing is happening on the stove, you could take nothing out of the fridge to add to it, but nothing is perfect, so you can serve nothing as it is and nothing would make you happier.
1939: oh I bet there will be videos of a man eating nothing in the future
2019: *flying cars*
what
Wut
Bwhahahahahahah
what
Idiot
"I really hate to make much ado about nothing."
You made this whole premise with that line in mind, didn't you?
You're a genius.
When I first saw this I thought nothing made sense, but then I realized I had nothing to lose... and yknow what? He really made something out of nothing.
*This is obviously a* *mukbung*
ER is a genius. He can make a video about eating and drinking nothing, and still is relaxing and interesting. I just love this channel.
Finally, something that can fill the emptiness in my soul!!!
I can’t wait you are getting so close to being able to do Gandalf role play. Keep it growing.
Damn I ate some of this and well you know what they say
You are what you eat
Someone: Hey rift did you eat today?
Rift: well...no, but actually yes
Rare footage of a Russian citizen under Stalin’s rule, circa 1947
Blame the nazis
@@iuperez2588 no lmao
Average ethiopian cuisine
Hilarious did you come up with that all by yourself?
Colorized
Thanks for nothing
Edit: I realize now he made that joke in the vid
Edit 2: How many times will he make that joke
Nothing tastes spectacular. I would love to have more.
owo hello fellow animator
sorry I'm random as hell and go thru comments looking for furries or animators 😔
MintleafCakes oh Hello! Well it's very surprising you found my channel
@@AALIXD I find lots of channels in unexpected ways. I once found someone in the Closed Captions writers list of a JaidenAnimations video and we both watch each other's channel to this day.
@@MintleafCakes I love jaiden animations!
@@Tania-eq3qo Me too :)
1943: We will have food in the future, and communism will be no more!
2019: ASMR let’s eat nothing (with comrade Yuri)
I thought this was some god tier communism joke shitpost
It is
SHITPOST? They are good memes
You thought???? It is
To be honest, I thought he was showing us what the average meal in Africa is like.😂😂
Éedvardo I mean, it is something he would do.
When you don’t make any money because of UA-cam
Because of this video there is nobody going to starve again.
Rip Nobody. He's been starved for so long.
It looks like 5 y.o myself serving the lunch to my family from my toy kitchen