Blessed are the meek, for they have not the bravery to stand up to ask "why". Blessed are the poor, who cannot afford higher education. Blessed are the humble, who need not seek to further their knowledge beyond what they need Blessed are the worthless, for in faith they can convince themselves of worth. Blessed are etc...
Doodle R. Baconfarts Being offended is a your way of saying you want someone else to stop talking to ease your comfort. It doesn't work that way. Get over it. Zero proof of your deity. Stop crying.
Doodle R. Baconfarts You must not realize Christmas has nothing to do with your religion. Before Christmas there was Saturnalia. Keep Saturn in Saturnalia. I don't care that you speak to imaginary characters. But sad for you that your imaginary characters aren't stronger. Odin and Thor are a better father and son deity. Grow up!
Don't feel bad about trolls, there's no way to tell whether a person is actually a moron or a troll, and then they ironically call YOU retarded, when they're the ones putting on the low-intelligence act. lol
Hindus can eat beef. They just don't, it is like that westerners don't eat dogs. This idea has twisted so much over time that now it is considered blasphemy.
I don't think that someone, who believes a talking snake convinced a woman made from a rib that a certain fruit from the tree of knowledge caused sin on Earth; especially when a ghost in the sky story, written by desert nomads who had to elaborate their tales for free meals (for thousands of years), is the teller of the story, should call anyone an idiot.
Thumbs up dude. By the way, I never understood that snake thing. Why was the snake smarter than Adam and Eve? Why was it in the garden anyway? Why aren't modern snakes capable of speech when the only thing God did to them was take away their legs? Also, what kind of punishment is cutting of the legs of an entire group of species anyway? And if that snake was Satan in disguise as some creationists try to rationalise, then why were the snakes punished? So many unanswered questions for a book with all the answers.
Noctis Occulta And why did God put a tree (seriously, a tree!) of knowledge in the garden if he didn't want Adam and Eve to eat from it? And why did god make man so badly, that they wouldn't do as he said? It's so obviously contrived that he's setting them up to fail ahead of time so he can punish them in order to offer them redemption. I could have come up with a better excuse than that!
Noctis Occulta The Serpent was not Satan, as many people believe, but the true first woman on Earth, Lilith, who was made from dirt just like Adam. She later became a demon and left the Garden, so God made Eve out of Adam's rib so that Woman would be part of, and so subservient to, Man. Lilith later returned to the Garden as the Snake to tempt Eve and fuck things all up. Lilith was often blamed in early Jewish folklore for such things as infant death and miscarriages.
Comedians: some of the greatest critical thinkers of all times. Why? Because they are scientists! They ask the critical QUESTIONS! And they examine the perspectives! And what they find is that... 'Seriously? Have you guys really not thought this through?' Their greatest material: reality. And by reality I mean, human stupidity versus actual, observable consequences. Comedians do not even have to make up hypothetical stories. Human stupidity writes itself!
Si Ustedes Supieran Lo Lindo, Noble, Respetuoso Y Misericordioso Que Dios Padré Celestial Omnipotente De Creación- Encarnado Aqui Y Llamado Jesús Fue En Vida Cuando Estubo Aqui , Ni Tan Siquiera Lo Hubieran Puesto En Este Video Para Que La Personas Se Rian, Aunque No Sea Para Nada Malo! Bendiciones 😇😇😇
The idea of God was created by people who think they separate from what they are observing,,,,to believe in God and to disbelieve in God comes from the same idea..
Brilliant job on the animation! I'm a HUUUUUUUUUUUGE fan of Eddie Izzard, so I'm already very familiar with this bit of his and your animation is perfect for it. 5 stars!!!
@999Thip - No water? Do they have anything to drink at all? Pepsi? Coke? Gatorade?! And how would Hell get Gatorade anyway? Is there a demon delivery truck that takes the Gatorade from the Gatorade Factory to Hell? How much money is in a distribution-deal like that for Gatorade? Do they have to bid against Red Bull and other companies? Why don't Christians boycott Gatorade if they are in business with the Devil? Something for you to think about, 999Thip.
Isn't it funny how religion works? It's like being brought up that the only way to dress is by wearing a bright orange hat. There are all these supernatural reasons why the hat has to be orange and NO OTHER COLOR! But other people (usually sorted by geographic location) wear different colored hats , and they believe that THEY have the proper color. The different colored hat people fight against each other. But to them, the worst type of person is one who doesn't wear a hat at all. Silly.
Higher case? What does that mean? Here's the highest case I can think of: Go outside at night sometime and look up at the stars. Then go inside and read a book on cosmology. Then you will see that you base your life around a story in a book written by uneducated farmers that is confined to a geographical region of a speck of dust orbiting a small star that is one of 100 billion stars in an average galaxy that is one of hundreds of billions of galaxies. BAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Middlekk, I think God punished me for my insolence in mocking him. I've come down with a bit of a cold. The sniffles. I know it's that time of year and I get sick like this every October, but I'm sure it's God bringing down his fiery wrath from the clouds. And it's in no way a coincidence that in6days was warning us of His retribution. This is indeed a powerful god! Praise be his name! BAAAAAH!
Your Lord approves. But I don't want to be called "Lord." I shall be called "Captain" or "Your Captainess." But I want it spelled with a silent unpronounceable "~" symbol at the end of it (like this: Captain~ or Your Captainess~). The reason will be mysterious and knowable only to me. I will let the religious scholars debate its meaning. Maybe different sects will grow out of the debate and start different versions and they will eventually start killing each other over it.
It's a secret. You have watch all of my videos and rate then all 5-stars and leave nice comments, and the secret will be revealed to you via private message. Or I can just tell you the secret now. I don't remember. Probably because the image didn't look or feel right because a light or something distracted, and it looked better if I just mirrored it.
Oh, no, by all means, put some weird stuff in there. The priests can bring out gelatin-molds shaped like severed legs and boiled eggs that will be considered my eyes. But to make it REALLY religious, we need to REALLY and TRULY believe that we are REALLY eating my severed legs and eyeballs and it's not figurative or metaphorical.
@999Thip - KNOW THIS SECOND OF ALL, THAT IN THE LAST DAYS MOCKERS OF THE MONKEY GOD WILL COME WITH THERE (sic) MOCKING, FOLLOWING AFTER THEIR LUST FOR THINGS THAT ARE NOT BANANAS. - 3RD CHAPTER OF THE MONKEY GOD'S HOLY BOOK OF MONKEY HOLINESS
And another thing ... why have my video comments been raided by idiot bible-thumpers these last few days? Did some creationist website send you here, or were you guys out just looking for Noah's Ark videos?
I thought for a moment there you were going to rhyme. But it ends up that, no, it wasn't a witty poem, but instead the extremely annoying bleating like the sheep usually do.
// you guys make fun .go on! Go on! you have your reward now! // You make a good point, in6days. May I ask what we should do? Sit aside all rational thought, common sense, known scientific fact, theological holes the size of Montana, and just "have faith" so we can have our dessert later? Please... do advise. Thanks a bunches....
@isisdron I understand that. When I was a kid, I grew up in Northern Ireland, and my auntie used to make me go to mass (despite the fact I'm not even Catholic) where I would sit and spend 2 hours out of my sunday listening to a 60 year old virgin tell us we were all evil. As I got older, I grew out of all that crap. But even to this day, I will not swear infront of a priest. Dunno why, theres no rational, its just hard wired into me. Not comparing ofcourse, I just understand what you mean.
@isisdron Well, you didn't really have a choice did you? If you have everyone around you, from a very early age, telling you you will burn forever for not saying 'I love Jesus', then most people will accept that. I feel sorry for people who have grown up the way you have. Mind you, now you have the age and wisdom to see through all that nonsense.
@999Thip Zeus will thank 43alley for not siding with any modern myths. Seriously though, an almighty god cannot take mocking? See how human like we invented all those deities?
Yes you are indeed, anti-christianity, faith in evolution and selfWorship are all "crazy Religious" faith based acts. (It's all about relationship, none about religiousness...)
When God Created Dinosaurs God:Hey Jesus Check Out These Things I Made Jesus:What The Heck are these Things God:I Shall Call Em Dinosaurs Jesus:What Does The Word "Dinosaur" Mean God:It Means Shut up and Deal With The Fact That These Things Exist Jesus:"...Okay?"
@999Thip (i couldn't fit everyting in one Reply)- If bad things went to Jesus, how could we inforce law. You can't convict people without responsibility for actions, if this is how God's "Morality" works it might explian why good tell his people to do so many horriblethings in the Bible. And before you say that this is only in the old testament, Jesus talked about when it is appropriate to beat slaves. He could have easily stopped it, but he didn't!
@999Thip Well, then, I wish you would explain it to me. I would like to know how it is fair, good, and desirable to punish an innocent person for the crimes of the guilty. To use an analogy, it seems to me that if you break a window, you should pay to have it replaced, not blame it on some other guy and let HIM pay for it, and then say that you accept his payment and that makes you innocent of the misbehavior.
@999Thip There is no Satan. He is a made-up character in a book. Therefore, your "facts" are mere assertions with no supporting evidence. And making an innocent person take the blame for your bad behavior is not noble, it is repulsive. Nobody would say that killing an innocent man in a guilty man's place is good; we generally get offended at such a travesty of justice. It is no more fair when a god-man does it than when a human does it.
@999Thip Sin is the word priests use to describe any behaviors that they don't like. Not paying your tithes is a sin. Not going to church is a sin. Not worshiping God is a sin. These things don't harm people in any way, but they don't benefit the priests, either, as they make their living from the God-worshipers who put money in the box each week. That's why the first 4 commandments are about worshiping God, not about helping humans.
@LondonIrishRover that I do. But sometimes I still get these irrational fears that hell really exists somewhere, and that maybe I will still go there. I also find myself talking to god when I'm afraid and alone, and no one else is there to reassure me. I can never fully escape it, even though I know with my rational mind that hell-as-persuasion-tactic was just used to pressure me and influence my mind. I think a lot of us fundies-cum-atheists have this experience.
@999Thip I think you are thinking too much about what I said. Yes obviously, if I hadnt been raised a baptist i would be different, but that wasnt the point I was trying to get to you to understand. I dont blame my father for anything...he did the best he could with what he was given. But it goes to answer your question if I had ever been saved. The answer of course, is yes, by the time I was three I was threatened with hell and separation from my family-so yes- I accepted Christ as a child.
I understand Christianity perfectly. I was raised by devout Christian parents but rejected Christianty when I really examined the Bible in detail. There are numerous passages which directly contradict other passages and I cannot understand why a supposedly perfect being would contradict themself so openly. One example the Bible says "thou shalt not kill" but then read Deuteronomy 13:13-19. Mixed messages. Why?
@999Thip Where is this evidence? Think about this in a court of law kind of way. If you had to convince a sceptical jury that God exists, would you expect them to accept personal testimonies that have not been objectively analyzed, a book full of contradictions and a shiny suited con man telling you Jesus wants you to "give until it hurts" hurts you - not him, obviously. Physical evidence is far more compelling than circumstantial evidence and personal testimony.
@999Thip How is your comment a relavant response to the point which I raised? (that just because a lot of people believe something does not make it valid). All you have done is mention that Islam and Christianity are different in some ways which I agree with but this does not provide any evidence to support your suggestion that if a lot of people believe something then it must be true (herd mentality).
@999Thip If, as you believe, God is all knowing then he will know exactly what evidence will convince me of his existince. If, as you believe, he is all powerful then he has the ability to produce said evidence. Yet he has failed to do so. This leaves 2 possibilities: 1. God does not exist (most probable) 2. God exists but is not sufficiently concerned about whether I believe in him or not to present proof of his own existence. Either way, worshipping God is pointless
@999Thip If you want people with active, questioning minds to accept your religion then you need to provide evidence. Threatening people with something (hell) that exists only in the context of your mythology is, at best, laughable. If you want people like me to believe in God, you have to provide proof that God exists. Take the bible and faith out of the equation, is there any REAL evidence of God?
@999Thip You are quoting a text that is nearly 2000 years old where a guy is saying that "in the last days mockers will come with their mocking, following after their lust." Christianity has always been mocked. Jesus also thought the end of the world would come in his lifetime. That didn't happen. Lately, I've had to ask myself this in regards to religion: "What if it's all just a bunch of religious Chuck Norris jokes. One religion trying to outdo the others.
@999Thip (cont.) do you know the amount of water required to cover the earth up to mt everest? its way more than what we have, water dont magically appear and disappear you know plus the whole cycle would be messed up... did any of your "proofs" explain all this? i bet not and lets lot forget the bible isn't the only book that has this story (quran and hebrew bible) what makes you think urs is more true? this vid sums me up, watch completely pls, maybe it wil change ur mind watch?v=I225Vcs3X0g
I wish I had enough room here to type out how the bible tells of dinosaurs that were living along side humans. Job, it's oldest book, has the best description. They were either killed by not being on the ark (despite there being room) or, more likely, by the post-flood change from the sub-tropical climate our water canopy would have 'greenhoused'. Also, 65 million years? The Earth is, at most, 12,000 years old. Again, wish UA-cam gave more room. ... then again, arguing on UA-cam...
@999Thip No, of course you don't. But Thip, think about it. Coming here to preach about god is the same as if an atheist came to church to teach us Evolution. It's crystal clear they won't accept it, so please don't try to push it. It'll only draw more animosity and hostility towards us. Teach the gospel, but ultimately it is their decision, their choice, their consequence. You cannot force them to accept christianity Thip. You know Matt 10:14 right?
@999Thip Once again empty words. What did I say about them in my previous comment? So I must ask if you were born in Pakastan for example would you be saying the same about Allah? Yes you would.. soooo the entire decsion is silly when the choice is arbitrary in the first place. Please I encourage you to have enough courage to read about other religions excpt your own. You may find it enlightening. I also think you have a fear of dying..and thats what the bible does well is control with fear.
i don't care what people believe as long as their not hurting anyone or trying to deliberatley convert people, it's fine if you educate or show them a different point of view if they ask, but only if they ask. i have my bases covered. in the end times all the true believers will be whisked into heaven, there will be 7 years of hell on earth, lead by a political figur(the anti-christ), and then there will be a battle, and as long as i fight on the rebel(god's)side i'll be sweet. btw very funny
@999Thip I'm a liberal? Since I don't pledge my self to any political party, specially to foreign ones, I find it hard to understand such a comment. Plus, I'm not calling you hurtful names, I'm just telling you the truth. You're ignorant for accepting facts that preachers and priests shove down your throat without even trying to think them through and actually research a bit on the subject to determine if they're telling the truth or not.
@DavidTheCatholic You assert that the universe could not have come about from nothing how? So your god is an uncaused cause? Whereas the universe could not have existed in one form or another for eternity? Hypothetically speaking, since only nothing comes from nothing, as you put it. What did your god make the universe from? Further, what is your god made of? Since it isn't nothing, it must be something correct?
@DavidTheCatholic Astrophysicists confirm that we do not yet know how the universe came into existence(and I use that term loosely); although there are a few well supported theories. One of which is in quantum physics, in which something, quite literally comes from nothing(see virtual particles, dark matter, etc.) No honest astrophysicist would state that the universe comes from an external machine. By contrast I could state, where does your god come from?
@DavidTheCatholic Yep, you are right, dreams happen when you are unconscious. BUT you won't know that they happend if you don't wake up within about 20 mins of seeing a dream! Dreams happen during your REM sleep, which becomes progressively longer as you sleep. It takes about 20 mins for a memory to become permanent, that is converted from electrical impulses to protein structures in the brain. If you don't wake up within 20 mins to CONSCIOUSLY experience these impulses, the dream is lost!
@DavidTheCatholic Just like everything else in the body, the brain of an older person is aged! It shrinks a little, some get old age dementia or alzheimer's. An older person has a decrease in the size of their frontal lobes (the ones that are responsible for inhibiting the rest of the brain). Why do you think most of them are more impulsive, and say and do whatever they want? Disinhibition due to shrinkage of frontal lobes... therefore temporal lobes become more active too!
@DavidTheCatholic A person with a more active (labile) temporal lobe, is more likely to have these experiences. Temporal lobe lability is tied to religiosity and creativity by the way. In real world, there are fluctuatins of EM fields all the time (wiring at homes produce EM fields, magnetic field of the Earth itself fluctuates especially during solar storms, geomagnetic activity, etc.) So these sightings can be readily explained if you know the mechanism of how they happen!
@DavidTheCatholic Yes I can! It's been proven in a lab over and over again that specific stimulation of temporal lobes with weak electromagnetic fields will result in a sensed presense (the feeling of someone/something being in the room with you). Depending which hemisphere is more active, the person might feel the sensation more to the left, it might be a scary feeling. To the right, it might be a safer feeling. Hence why devil is on the left shoulder, angel is on the right, in mythology!
@DavidTheCatholic Well of course we can't objectvely prove that God does not exist... but by the same token you can't prove objectively that God does exist! However, we CAN prove that God is a subjective experience that is culturally influenced and is directly tied to your brain activity! In other words, your brain creates the experience of a deity, that you later label as Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, Zeus, etc. depending on what you have been taught by your culture!
@DavidTheCatholic But I wanted to comment... you directly addressed me by talking about atheists! Wait, doesn't it sound like what you were saying? How "atheists come to you christians"? Hm, don't be a hypocrite! lol buddy, you're funny, you're all the way in UK and you're going to fly to Canada to confront me? rich spoiled brat Don't worry, I was like you once too... full of raging hormones, thinking I could take on an entire special forces unit... it'll wear out, you'll get back to reality!
@DavidTheCatholic Have you come to my face and asked me that? No, so I suggest you keep such opinions to yourself until you actually do it! All of those things could and are done without religion! Once masses start to believe that they are better than some other group of people, because their imaginary boss told them, THAT'S when things get out of control! Hey, don't get involved too, you didn't have to reply to my comments too!
@DavidTheCatholic And like I said, religions have been trying to get involved in people's personal lives for millenia now... STILL do! Do you ever get an atheist going door to door preaching about evolution? So how could a mere conversation over the internet upset you so much? Well sure, "we Christians will go somewhere, and you non believers/other religions will go somewhere else, I think it's clear where"... hmmm, haven't i heard that one before? Oh yes, in pretty much EVERY other relgion!
@DavidTheCatholic I came to watch this video, saw your comments, that claimed that ALL of humanity has sinned in the eyes of your God, and that atheists will go to hell. I'm an atheist/agnostic (only cuz I don't believe in Biblical God), so your comment directly relates to me! I simply replied to that! I wouldn't have gotten involved if you didn't directly address me there! And if you can't take the heat, maybe you shouldn't start the fire then!
@DavidTheCatholic Well keep on sinning if it's ok for u b/c u'll be forgiven anyways... I'm in the hot water here, not only will I not go to heaven b/c I don't believe in Biblical God, my sins won't be forgiven too, so I have to really watch myself and not accumulate them! Maybe I'll get a not so hot place in Hell b/c of that! That's the problem, u guys see ur mistakes as something that can be forgiven if u repent, we see them as something that u cannot take back b/c you only have one life!
@DavidTheCatholic Not saying that only those who take drugs or whatever else I described, see the events, I was just countering your claim in the previous comment. But, religiosity is highly determined by the activity of your temrporal lobe. Older people tend to be more religious, and they tend to have more temporal lobe spikes, as example. Depending on a setting a person can have a religious experience that seems and feels real but is simply a hallucination.
@DavidTheCatholic Did you know that it's 100% possible to induce a religous experience in a person, with visions, sounds, feelings, etc. simply by subjecting that person to weak electromangetic feilds that pass through temporal lobes? It's been done! Almost everyone has an experience like that during the experimental setting, those with higher temporal lobe activity tend to experience more vivid vision (incidentally or not, those are the same people that are more relgious than the rest).
@DavidTheCatholic EVERY human disobeyed God? But how could that be if he only created Adam and Eve and they screwed everything up for the rest of the population! How can God blame everyone for a mistake that 2 ppl made? "we are promised an afterlife if you live a good and humble life on Earth"+"Athiests will have an afterlife like Christians, only diff is yours will be in hell for eternity." But I thought to get into hell you must ONLY believe in Jesus? Nice education... er, nice scare tactic!
@RedPower012 Let me educate, God made world, all the animals, he made humans, we disobeyed him, we got a world with pain and mysery, but we are promised an afterlife if you live a good and humble life on Earth, if you dont believe in the creator of the universe then you are doomed, and he can do whatever he feels like doing with you, your disbelief in him wont stop him.. Athiests will have an afterlife like Christians, only diff is yours will be in hell for eternity.
I found this as I'm a fan of Eddie Izzard, but to produce such a fun video, and I can tell it took hours of work to make it so good. Really impressed, I make videos taking the piss out of debt collectors, so its good to see someone taking the piss out of the religious nonsense that people try and control our lives with. Religion is basically this...... My invisible friend is better than your invisible friend. If you don't have an invisible friend, then we'll gang up and hate you even more.
There is absolutely no proof whatsoever and you make a false claim in a futile effort to save the belief you were brought up with. You have probably read the Awake magazine, then anything goes, and to the lay person may at first seem plausible in some instances. There are many radiometric dating methods, and when different methods consistantly reach similar results, and you understand the various methods and how accurate they are you will know the earth is very old indeed.
true living god? WTF? so he resurrected... did he do it to MJ's Thriller? He destroyed sin... then why should I bother? sin was destroyed, you stated it, so, no sins, no worries, life is set. The bible also states a whole bunch of bullshit, like slavery is fine, so is mass murder (as long as I do it in his name) and women, well, just another object to serve men, and it's also ok to sacrifice children. Is your god consistent all throughout time? does he ever changes his mind?
KenBT214, I used to be roman caholic, now, Im free, I was set free by knowledge, and simple reasoning. So, he... died? but he's omnipotent and eternal... what would death mean to him? So, we choose to sin? do we choose to be born? Aren't we all sinners by birth? Basically breathing is a sin, or what is baptizing about? Your god, is based off the principle of destruction, death and eternal damnation.. what a loving god he is. Me, I'd rather live, learn, love and give.
You know, here in Europe we don't call this 'atheist comedy'. Just comedy.
*****
Stupid people are always funny.
LOL
wait for the muslims
What's "Europe"?
Depends on the country.
As Morgan Freeman says, the man who has been god most frequently "god is just an imaginary friend for adults"
"Blessed are the meek, poor, humble, worthless, etc... because I can control them with these stories, and convince them to not try to be rich..."
+pon33villin Jam tomorrow ha what a laugh. So many suckers.
Blessed are the meek, for they have not the bravery to stand up to ask "why".
Blessed are the poor, who cannot afford higher education.
Blessed are the humble, who need not seek to further their knowledge beyond what they need
Blessed are the worthless, for in faith they can convince themselves of worth.
Blessed are etc...
Doodle R. Baconfarts Being offended is a your way of saying you want someone else to stop talking to ease your comfort. It doesn't work that way. Get over it.
Zero proof of your deity. Stop crying.
Doodle R. Baconfarts You must not realize Christmas has nothing to do with your religion. Before Christmas there was Saturnalia. Keep Saturn in Saturnalia.
I don't care that you speak to imaginary characters. But sad for you that your imaginary characters aren't stronger. Odin and Thor are a better father and son deity.
Grow up!
Don't feel bad about trolls, there's no way to tell whether a person is actually a moron or a troll, and then they ironically call YOU retarded, when they're the ones putting on the low-intelligence act. lol
"RRRRRAAAAAARRRRRGGGGG!!........said jesus"
Funny stuff!
I am a Hindu, I worship God Shiva, and I found it funny. This is the advantage of Hinduism. No concept of blasphemy.
Hail Shiva.
Aoneesh Arun Sharma but still dumb as fuck
No concept of blasphemy my ass.
Try eating some beef.
@hardcoregmr4lyf
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atheism_in_Hinduism
*you worthless piece of shitstain*
Hindus can eat beef. They just don't, it is like that westerners don't eat dogs. This idea has twisted so much over time that now it is considered blasphemy.
Blessed are the huge scaly monsters!
He's NOT the messiah, he's a very naughty huge scaly monster!
***** But they are all individuals (apart from one but shhh about that one).
"Eat this cheese, it is my central nervous system." LMAO!
I don't think that someone, who believes a talking snake convinced a woman made from a rib that a certain fruit from the tree of knowledge caused sin on Earth; especially when a ghost in the sky story, written by desert nomads who had to elaborate their tales for free meals (for thousands of years), is the teller of the story, should call anyone an idiot.
Thumbs up dude.
By the way, I never understood that snake thing. Why was the snake smarter than Adam and Eve? Why was it in the garden anyway? Why aren't modern snakes capable of speech when the only thing God did to them was take away their legs? Also, what kind of punishment is cutting of the legs of an entire group of species anyway? And if that snake was Satan in disguise as some creationists try to rationalise, then why were the snakes punished? So many unanswered questions for a book with all the answers.
Noctis Occulta And why did God put a tree (seriously, a tree!) of knowledge in the garden if he didn't want Adam and Eve to eat from it?
And why did god make man so badly, that they wouldn't do as he said?
It's so obviously contrived that he's setting them up to fail ahead of time so he can punish them in order to offer them redemption. I could have come up with a better excuse than that!
Because the idea of god is the personification o evil.
Noctis Occulta
The Serpent was not Satan, as many people believe, but the true first woman on Earth, Lilith, who was made from dirt just like Adam. She later became a demon and left the Garden, so God made Eve out of Adam's rib so that Woman would be part of, and so subservient to, Man.
Lilith later returned to the Garden as the Snake to tempt Eve and fuck things all up. Lilith was often blamed in early Jewish folklore for such things as infant death and miscarriages.
rahowhero also the snake is male, based on words like "he" in the story, also snake is a phallic symbol
I'm not an atheist but I laughed my head off at this. It was funny.
Comedians: some of the greatest critical thinkers of all times. Why? Because they are scientists! They ask the critical QUESTIONS! And they examine the perspectives! And what they find is that... 'Seriously? Have you guys really not thought this through?' Their greatest material: reality. And by reality I mean, human stupidity versus actual, observable consequences. Comedians do not even have to make up hypothetical stories. Human stupidity writes itself!
"Eat this cheese it is my central nervous system...." I nearly fell out of my chair.
how did you do the faces talking
'Shit, I haven't got a garage'
It takes a lot to make me laugh out loud. I can hardly stop.
Si Ustedes Supieran Lo Lindo, Noble, Respetuoso Y Misericordioso Que Dios Padré Celestial Omnipotente De Creación- Encarnado Aqui Y Llamado Jesús Fue En Vida Cuando Estubo Aqui , Ni Tan Siquiera Lo Hubieran Puesto En Este Video Para Que La Personas Se Rian, Aunque No Sea Para Nada Malo! Bendiciones 😇😇😇
Jesus was a gay atheist.
The idea of God was created by people who think they separate from what they are observing,,,,to believe in God and to disbelieve in God comes from the same idea..
Weren't jesus and the dinosaurs a punk rock band from Camden?
Can I download these videos from somewhere?
they're fantastic. ty.
Dinosaurs were "hairy". Feathers, actually.
Brilliant job on the animation! I'm a HUUUUUUUUUUUGE fan of Eddie Izzard, so I'm already very familiar with this bit of his and your animation is perfect for it. 5 stars!!!
Good to know god likes Merlot!
@999Thip - No water?
Do they have anything to drink at all? Pepsi? Coke? Gatorade?!
And how would Hell get Gatorade anyway? Is there a demon delivery truck that takes the Gatorade from the Gatorade Factory to Hell?
How much money is in a distribution-deal like that for Gatorade? Do they have to bid against Red Bull and other companies?
Why don't Christians boycott Gatorade if they are in business with the Devil?
Something for you to think about, 999Thip.
Isn't it funny how religion works?
It's like being brought up that the only way to dress is by wearing a bright orange hat. There are all these supernatural reasons why the hat has to be orange and NO OTHER COLOR!
But other people (usually sorted by geographic location) wear different colored hats , and they believe that THEY have the proper color. The different colored hat people fight against each other.
But to them, the worst type of person is one who doesn't wear a hat at all.
Silly.
Higher case? What does that mean?
Here's the highest case I can think of: Go outside at night sometime and look up at the stars. Then go inside and read a book on cosmology.
Then you will see that you base your life around a story in a book written by uneducated farmers that is confined to a geographical region of a speck of dust orbiting a small star that is one of 100 billion stars in an average galaxy that is one of hundreds of billions of galaxies.
BAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Middlekk, I think God punished me for my insolence in mocking him. I've come down with a bit of a cold. The sniffles. I know it's that time of year and I get sick like this every October, but I'm sure it's God bringing down his fiery wrath from the clouds. And it's in no way a coincidence that in6days was warning us of His retribution. This is indeed a powerful god! Praise be his name! BAAAAAH!
Your Lord approves. But I don't want to be called "Lord." I shall be called "Captain" or "Your Captainess." But I want it spelled with a silent unpronounceable "~" symbol at the end of it (like this: Captain~ or Your Captainess~). The reason will be mysterious and knowable only to me. I will let the religious scholars debate its meaning. Maybe different sects will grow out of the debate and start different versions and they will eventually start killing each other over it.
It's a secret. You have watch all of my videos and rate then all 5-stars and leave nice comments, and the secret will be revealed to you via private message.
Or I can just tell you the secret now. I don't remember. Probably because the image didn't look or feel right because a light or something distracted, and it looked better if I just mirrored it.
Oh, no, by all means, put some weird stuff in there. The priests can bring out gelatin-molds shaped like severed legs and boiled eggs that will be considered my eyes. But to make it REALLY religious, we need to REALLY and TRULY believe that we are REALLY eating my severed legs and eyeballs and it's not figurative or metaphorical.
@999Thip - KNOW THIS SECOND OF ALL, THAT IN THE LAST DAYS MOCKERS OF THE MONKEY GOD WILL COME WITH THERE (sic) MOCKING, FOLLOWING AFTER THEIR LUST FOR THINGS THAT ARE NOT BANANAS.
- 3RD CHAPTER OF THE MONKEY GOD'S HOLY BOOK OF MONKEY HOLINESS
And another thing ... why have my video comments been raided by idiot bible-thumpers these last few days? Did some creationist website send you here, or were you guys out just looking for Noah's Ark videos?
6:30 "TÂRGOVIŞTE" !!!!!!!...That is romanian wine !!!
This is brilliant from both YOU and Izzard :)
"Why didn't you just say, 'Drink this wine... it's a Merlot.' "
CLASSIC!
I thought for a moment there you were going to rhyme. But it ends up that, no, it wasn't a witty poem, but instead the extremely annoying bleating like the sheep usually do.
Yeah, it was. Sorta throws off the whole credibility of the video, you know? Alabama wouldn't even be a state for another 65 million years.
Bla bla bla, I'm still a crazy religious person, bla bla bla, my drive-by postings are difficult to read and understand, bla bla bla
Using the image of his cousin Ted
xD
Like Eddie says himself, he's not gay, no no, it's more like a male tomboy. Running, jumping, climbing trees, wearing dresses.
Bla bla bla, I'm a crazy religious person, bla bla bla, I do drive-by comment posting on UA-cam pages, bla bla bla
This just gets funnier each time I see it!!!
It’s a merlot
Snore. Go bleat somewhere else.
It speaks worlds of you that you don't mind being called "a sheep."
God bless? Really?
As Monty Python said ... Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam!
Really? If you pause it at 6:31, it says "Merlot" at the bottom on the bottle.
I dunno.
LOL! This video made me subscribe to his channel.
So.. so the dinosaur invented the word "RAWR"!! in the internet... wow 0.0
My heart is broken! Someone very special died! His name was George O'mally. He pushed a lady out of the way of a bus! I will miss you 007!
// you guys make fun .go on! Go on! you have your reward now! //
You make a good point, in6days. May I ask what we should do? Sit aside all rational thought, common sense, known scientific fact, theological holes the size of Montana, and just "have faith" so we can have our dessert later?
Please... do advise. Thanks a bunches....
@isisdron I understand that. When I was a kid, I grew up in Northern Ireland, and my auntie used to make me go to mass (despite the fact I'm not even Catholic) where I would sit and spend 2 hours out of my sunday listening to a 60 year old virgin tell us we were all evil.
As I got older, I grew out of all that crap. But even to this day, I will not swear infront of a priest. Dunno why, theres no rational, its just hard wired into me. Not comparing ofcourse, I just understand what you mean.
@isisdron Well, you didn't really have a choice did you? If you have everyone around you, from a very early age, telling you you will burn forever for not saying 'I love Jesus', then most people will accept that.
I feel sorry for people who have grown up the way you have. Mind you, now you have the age and wisdom to see through all that nonsense.
Eddie owes me a nickel ten. Not sure what the exchange rate on that is.
@999Thip
Zeus will thank 43alley for not siding with any modern myths. Seriously though, an almighty god cannot take mocking? See how human like we invented all those deities?
Yes you are indeed, anti-christianity, faith in evolution and selfWorship are all "crazy Religious" faith based acts. (It's all about relationship, none about religiousness...)
At all? Not even the Shiva part that makes fun of a different god?
When God Created Dinosaurs
God:Hey Jesus Check Out These Things I Made
Jesus:What The Heck are these Things
God:I Shall Call Em Dinosaurs
Jesus:What Does The Word "Dinosaur" Mean
God:It Means Shut up and Deal With The Fact That These Things Exist
Jesus:"...Okay?"
By the way - the swine flu killed about 300 people and the regular flew killed around 10,000 last year - maybe we should worry less.
Eddie you genius!! and thanks for your video, great work buddy!!
""There where Dinosaurs, they where a bit crap .. so fuck'em""
Brilliant!!!
I know right? because i'm on youtube lol. But seriously, there is proof. Haha just kidding. No but seriously. Yeah.
Evilution is a fairytale for people who want to obey the satanic command of: Let My Will Be Done. It's easy to obey
You know I thought this might be one of those stupid things people put on UA-cam but this was funny and quite refreshing
Evoluutio is troo
@999Thip (i couldn't fit everyting in one Reply)- If bad things went to Jesus, how could we inforce law. You can't convict people without responsibility for actions, if this is how God's "Morality" works it might explian why good tell his people to do so many horriblethings in the Bible. And before you say that this is only in the old testament, Jesus talked about when it is appropriate to beat slaves. He could have easily stopped it, but he didn't!
@999Thip Well, then, I wish you would explain it to me. I would like to know how it is fair, good, and desirable to punish an innocent person for the crimes of the guilty. To use an analogy, it seems to me that if you break a window, you should pay to have it replaced, not blame it on some other guy and let HIM pay for it, and then say that you accept his payment and that makes you innocent of the misbehavior.
@999Thip There is no Satan. He is a made-up character in a book. Therefore, your "facts" are mere assertions with no supporting evidence. And making an innocent person take the blame for your bad behavior is not noble, it is repulsive. Nobody would say that killing an innocent man in a guilty man's place is good; we generally get offended at such a travesty of justice. It is no more fair when a god-man does it than when a human does it.
@999Thip Sin is the word priests use to describe any behaviors that they don't like. Not paying your tithes is a sin. Not going to church is a sin. Not worshiping God is a sin. These things don't harm people in any way, but they don't benefit the priests, either, as they make their living from the God-worshipers who put money in the box each week. That's why the first 4 commandments are about worshiping God, not about helping humans.
@LondonIrishRover that I do. But sometimes I still get these irrational fears that hell really exists somewhere, and that maybe I will still go there. I also find myself talking to god when I'm afraid and alone, and no one else is there to reassure me. I can never fully escape it, even though I know with my rational mind that hell-as-persuasion-tactic was just used to pressure me and influence my mind. I think a lot of us fundies-cum-atheists have this experience.
@999Thip I think you are thinking too much about what I said. Yes obviously, if I hadnt been raised a baptist i would be different, but that wasnt the point I was trying to get to you to understand. I dont blame my father for anything...he did the best he could with what he was given. But it goes to answer your question if I had ever been saved. The answer of course, is yes, by the time I was three I was threatened with hell and separation from my family-so yes- I accepted Christ as a child.
I understand Christianity perfectly. I was raised by devout Christian parents but rejected Christianty when I really examined the Bible in detail. There are numerous passages which directly contradict other passages and I cannot understand why a supposedly perfect being would contradict themself so openly. One example the Bible says "thou shalt not kill" but then read Deuteronomy 13:13-19. Mixed messages. Why?
@999Thip Where is this evidence? Think about this in a court of law kind of way. If you had to convince a sceptical jury that God exists, would you expect them to accept personal testimonies that have not been objectively analyzed, a book full of contradictions and a shiny suited con man telling you Jesus wants you to "give until it hurts" hurts you - not him, obviously. Physical evidence is far more compelling than circumstantial evidence and personal testimony.
@999Thip How is your comment a relavant response to the point which I raised? (that just because a lot of people believe something does not make it valid). All you have done is mention that Islam and Christianity are different in some ways which I agree with but this does not provide any evidence to support your suggestion that if a lot of people believe something then it must be true (herd mentality).
@999Thip If, as you believe, God is all knowing then he will know exactly what evidence will convince me of his existince. If, as you believe, he is all powerful then he has the ability to produce said evidence. Yet he has failed to do so. This leaves 2 possibilities:
1. God does not exist (most probable)
2. God exists but is not sufficiently concerned about whether I believe in him or not to present proof of his own existence.
Either way, worshipping God is pointless
@999Thip If you want people with active, questioning minds to accept your religion then you need to provide evidence. Threatening people with something (hell) that exists only in the context of your mythology is, at best, laughable. If you want people like me to believe in God, you have to provide proof that God exists. Take the bible and faith out of the equation, is there any REAL evidence of God?
@999Thip
You are quoting a text that is nearly 2000 years old where a guy is saying that "in the last days mockers will come with their mocking, following after their lust." Christianity has always been mocked. Jesus also thought the end of the world would come in his lifetime. That didn't happen. Lately, I've had to ask myself this in regards to religion: "What if it's all just a bunch of religious Chuck Norris jokes. One religion trying to outdo the others.
@999Thip (cont.)
do you know the amount of water required to cover the earth up to mt everest? its way more than what we have, water dont magically appear and disappear you know plus the whole cycle would be messed up...
did any of your "proofs" explain all this? i bet not
and lets lot forget the bible isn't the only book that has this story (quran and hebrew bible)
what makes you think urs is more true?
this vid sums me up, watch completely pls, maybe it wil change ur mind
watch?v=I225Vcs3X0g
I wish I had enough room here to type out how the bible tells of dinosaurs that were living along side humans. Job, it's oldest book, has the best description. They were either killed by not being on the ark (despite there being room) or, more likely, by the post-flood change from the sub-tropical climate our water canopy would have 'greenhoused'.
Also, 65 million years? The Earth is, at most, 12,000 years old. Again, wish UA-cam gave more room.
... then again, arguing on UA-cam...
@999Thip No, of course you don't. But Thip, think about it. Coming here to preach about god is the same as if an atheist came to church to teach us Evolution. It's crystal clear they won't accept it, so please don't try to push it. It'll only draw more animosity and hostility towards us. Teach the gospel, but ultimately it is their decision, their choice, their consequence. You cannot force them to accept christianity Thip. You know Matt 10:14 right?
@999Thip Once again empty words. What did I say about them in my previous comment? So I must ask if you were born in Pakastan for example would you be saying the same about Allah? Yes you would.. soooo the entire decsion is silly when the choice is arbitrary in the first place. Please I encourage you to have enough courage to read about other religions excpt your own. You may find it enlightening. I also think you have a fear of dying..and thats what the bible does well is control with fear.
i don't care what people believe as long as their not hurting anyone or trying to deliberatley convert people, it's fine if you educate or show them a different point of view if they ask, but only if they ask. i have my bases covered. in the end times all the true believers will be whisked into heaven, there will be 7 years of hell on earth, lead by a political figur(the anti-christ), and then there will be a battle, and as long as i fight on the rebel(god's)side i'll be sweet. btw very funny
@999Thip I'm a liberal? Since I don't pledge my self to any political party, specially to foreign ones, I find it hard to understand such a comment. Plus, I'm not calling you hurtful names, I'm just telling you the truth. You're ignorant for accepting facts that preachers and priests shove down your throat without even trying to think them through and actually research a bit on the subject to determine if they're telling the truth or not.
@DavidTheCatholic You assert that the universe could not have come about from nothing how?
So your god is an uncaused cause? Whereas the universe could not have existed in one form or another for eternity?
Hypothetically speaking, since only nothing comes from nothing, as you put it. What did your god make the universe from? Further, what is your god made of? Since it isn't nothing, it must be something correct?
@DavidTheCatholic Astrophysicists confirm that we do not yet know how the universe came into existence(and I use that term loosely); although there are a few well supported theories. One of which is in quantum physics, in which something, quite literally comes from nothing(see virtual particles, dark matter, etc.) No honest astrophysicist would state that the universe comes from an external machine. By contrast I could state, where does your god come from?
@DavidTheCatholic
Yep, you are right, dreams happen when you are unconscious. BUT you won't know that they happend if you don't wake up within about 20 mins of seeing a dream! Dreams happen during your REM sleep, which becomes progressively longer as you sleep. It takes about 20 mins for a memory to become permanent, that is converted from electrical impulses to protein structures in the brain. If you don't wake up within 20 mins to CONSCIOUSLY experience these impulses, the dream is lost!
@DavidTheCatholic
Just like everything else in the body, the brain of an older person is aged! It shrinks a little, some get old age dementia or alzheimer's. An older person has a decrease in the size of their frontal lobes (the ones that are responsible for inhibiting the rest of the brain). Why do you think most of them are more impulsive, and say and do whatever they want? Disinhibition due to shrinkage of frontal lobes... therefore temporal lobes become more active too!
@DavidTheCatholic
A person with a more active (labile) temporal lobe, is more likely to have these experiences. Temporal lobe lability is tied to religiosity and creativity by the way. In real world, there are fluctuatins of EM fields all the time (wiring at homes produce EM fields, magnetic field of the Earth itself fluctuates especially during solar storms, geomagnetic activity, etc.) So these sightings can be readily explained if you know the mechanism of how they happen!
@DavidTheCatholic
Yes I can! It's been proven in a lab over and over again that specific stimulation of temporal lobes with weak electromagnetic fields will result in a sensed presense (the feeling of someone/something being in the room with you). Depending which hemisphere is more active, the person might feel the sensation more to the left, it might be a scary feeling. To the right, it might be a safer feeling. Hence why devil is on the left shoulder, angel is on the right, in mythology!
@DavidTheCatholic
Well of course we can't objectvely prove that God does not exist... but by the same token you can't prove objectively that God does exist! However, we CAN prove that God is a subjective experience that is culturally influenced and is directly tied to your brain activity! In other words, your brain creates the experience of a deity, that you later label as Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, Zeus, etc. depending on what you have been taught by your culture!
@DavidTheCatholic
But I wanted to comment... you directly addressed me by talking about atheists! Wait, doesn't it sound like what you were saying? How "atheists come to you christians"? Hm, don't be a hypocrite!
lol buddy, you're funny, you're all the way in UK and you're going to fly to Canada to confront me? rich spoiled brat
Don't worry, I was like you once too... full of raging hormones, thinking I could take on an entire special forces unit... it'll wear out, you'll get back to reality!
@DavidTheCatholic
Have you come to my face and asked me that? No, so I suggest you keep such opinions to yourself until you actually do it!
All of those things could and are done without religion! Once masses start to believe that they are better than some other group of people, because their imaginary boss told them, THAT'S when things get out of control!
Hey, don't get involved too, you didn't have to reply to my comments too!
@DavidTheCatholic
And like I said, religions have been trying to get involved in people's personal lives for millenia now... STILL do! Do you ever get an atheist going door to door preaching about evolution? So how could a mere conversation over the internet upset you so much?
Well sure, "we Christians will go somewhere, and you non believers/other religions will go somewhere else, I think it's clear where"... hmmm, haven't i heard that one before? Oh yes, in pretty much EVERY other relgion!
@DavidTheCatholic
I came to watch this video, saw your comments, that claimed that ALL of humanity has sinned in the eyes of your God, and that atheists will go to hell. I'm an atheist/agnostic (only cuz I don't believe in Biblical God), so your comment directly relates to me! I simply replied to that! I wouldn't have gotten involved if you didn't directly address me there!
And if you can't take the heat, maybe you shouldn't start the fire then!
@DavidTheCatholic
Well keep on sinning if it's ok for u b/c u'll be forgiven anyways... I'm in the hot water here, not only will I not go to heaven b/c I don't believe in Biblical God, my sins won't be forgiven too, so I have to really watch myself and not accumulate them! Maybe I'll get a not so hot place in Hell b/c of that!
That's the problem, u guys see ur mistakes as something that can be forgiven if u repent, we see them as something that u cannot take back b/c you only have one life!
@DavidTheCatholic
Not saying that only those who take drugs or whatever else I described, see the events, I was just countering your claim in the previous comment. But, religiosity is highly determined by the activity of your temrporal lobe. Older people tend to be more religious, and they tend to have more temporal lobe spikes, as example. Depending on a setting a person can have a religious experience that seems and feels real but is simply a hallucination.
@DavidTheCatholic
Did you know that it's 100% possible to induce a religous experience in a person, with visions, sounds, feelings, etc. simply by subjecting that person to weak electromangetic feilds that pass through temporal lobes? It's been done! Almost everyone has an experience like that during the experimental setting, those with higher temporal lobe activity tend to experience more vivid vision (incidentally or not, those are the same people that are more relgious than the rest).
@DavidTheCatholic
EVERY human disobeyed God? But how could that be if he only created Adam and Eve and they screwed everything up for the rest of the population! How can God blame everyone for a mistake that 2 ppl made?
"we are promised an afterlife if you live a good and humble life on Earth"+"Athiests will have an afterlife like Christians, only diff is yours will be in hell for eternity." But I thought to get into hell you must ONLY believe in Jesus?
Nice education... er, nice scare tactic!
@RedPower012 Let me educate, God made world, all the animals, he made humans, we disobeyed him, we got a world with pain and mysery, but we are promised an afterlife if you live a good and humble life on Earth, if you dont believe in the creator of the universe then you are doomed, and he can do whatever he feels like doing with you, your disbelief in him wont stop him..
Athiests will have an afterlife like Christians, only diff is yours will be in hell for eternity.
I found this as I'm a fan of Eddie Izzard, but to produce such a fun video, and I can tell it took hours of work to make it so good. Really impressed, I make videos taking the piss out of debt collectors, so its good to see someone taking the piss out of the religious nonsense that people try and control our lives with.
Religion is basically this...... My invisible friend is better than your invisible friend. If you don't have an invisible friend, then we'll gang up and hate you even more.
There is absolutely no proof whatsoever and you make a false claim in a futile effort to save the belief you were brought up with. You have probably read the Awake magazine, then anything goes, and to the lay person may at first seem plausible in some instances. There are many radiometric dating methods, and when different methods consistantly reach similar results, and you understand the various methods and how accurate they are you will know the earth is very old indeed.
true living god? WTF? so he resurrected... did he do it to MJ's Thriller? He destroyed sin... then why should I bother? sin was destroyed, you stated it, so, no sins, no worries, life is set. The bible also states a whole bunch of bullshit, like slavery is fine, so is mass murder (as long as I do it in his name) and women, well, just another object to serve men, and it's also ok to sacrifice children. Is your god consistent all throughout time? does he ever changes his mind?
KenBT214, I used to be roman caholic, now, Im free, I was set free by knowledge, and simple reasoning. So, he... died? but he's omnipotent and eternal... what would death mean to him? So, we choose to sin? do we choose to be born? Aren't we all sinners by birth? Basically breathing is a sin, or what is baptizing about? Your god, is based off the principle of destruction, death and eternal damnation.. what a loving god he is. Me, I'd rather live, learn, love and give.