I've been a fan for a decade now too but I'm also binged all the older stuff from before 2011. Pizzamas is old! If I'm remembering correctly it goes back to about 2007/2008 ish.
Hey it's Johnny Harris! Hank did make a video a while back on the history of Pizzamas. Long story short: nobody is quite sure what it is. ua-cam.com/video/KO5h9WhUT5g/v-deo.html
@@vlogbrothers oof. I remember you not being "old". I was a teenager when I started watching you and now I'm only a little younger than Hank was when you started this channel. Seeing how much (and how positively) you two have changed and grown in that time paints a pretty bright picture for me to look forward to.
kinda hard for me to forget... I'm one year under John and one year over Hank. Of course I sometimes forget how old I am. Just glad I'm not called Dave. Speaking of... how is Dave Green?
WRT Hank's friend that got sick anyway, often in life there are plans that aren't a guarantee of a positive outcome, they're just the best bet. Picard said that to Data once, "It is possible to make no mistakes and still lose, that is not a weakness, that is life"
"honestly, bro, you're a pretty inspirational guy " I didn't expect the "bro", it was so funny and sweet at the same time, as if Hank didn't want to express to much love and admiration for john on a non-esther-day :)
When I get overwhelmed with all the good that needs to be done in the world, I take a second and think to myself, “It’s not just me, other people can help if they have bandwidth as well.” It is comforting to know that we can rely on each other to do good TOGETHER😌
One of my favorite moments in my first book is when April is worried about a big problem and then Maya explains that someone else is going to solve the problem. April says, "Oh, so then that's going to take care of itself" and Maya is like, "No, it's going to be taken care of by OTHER PEOPLE."
Yes, FINALLY someone said it! You're not selfish for NOT caring about EVERY little thing wrong with society. Pick your cause(s) and let other people deal with the ones you can't deal with yourself.
There's a Real Friends lyric that i really "I've learned it's okay to be selfish". Meaning it's okay to focus on yourself, on only the problems you can solve, that sometimes saying no is fine.
I personally don't like the phrase "problems you can solve". I can't solve climate change, I can't solve the housing crisis, and I can't solve a friend being ill. But I can care about them and do stuff, like getting green energy, protesting, or bringing soup to that friend. I'll care for the things I have energy to care for, and leave the rest to others.
At least try to make sure you’re not making the other things worse. Unfortunately, there are plenty of issues where mass indifference is enough to make them unsolvable for the people who try
To me it's comforting because of how in the last ten years, consumption of distressing headlines and anxiety inducing information has just exploded via smartphones. So the reminder that not everything is a crisis, threat, or responsibility, is such a relief of emotional burden.
in the United States, there's an incredible amount of pressure to be independent, mostly financially, but in other ways as well. it's good to have a reminder that RELYING ON OTHERS ISN'T WEAKNESS.
The web of care makes me think of a metaphor a friend used when her daughter was extremely sick. She said that all of her friends saying they'd pray or that they were thinking of her or just sending love may not seem a lot to the friends saying it, but it formed a web under her family that kept them going, and that she felt kept her daughter going for the full year she spent in hospital before her death (thank God for the NHS). It's a beautiful idea that we don't have to do much to form a web of care that can have a large impact.
I make a note of someone's name every time I say I will pray or send someone healing energy, because I know it is often said and not done. And yes, all that good energy, healing intent does form a "web of care". That is a beautiful thought, and appreciating all that positive feeling adds to the beautiful positive energy flowing around. And some of us who commit to pray actually do,.. it may not be several times a day,...it may not be a lengthy formal prayer ( sometimes I sit with a list of first names and concerns and meditate on "Jane's" daughter's knee, or "John's cancer," asking God's healing presence to enter, surround, fill and cover them.) It may be small or informal, but we do actually pray. It is a commitment of honor. For real.
@@EmmieTuesday I am not personally religious, but if someone offers to pray for me I 100% accept it and treasure it. It is one of the biggest honours I think a person can simply do, literally asking their God to help you, and it definitely has real power even besides any religious impact it may have. Thank you for really doing it and caring.
"Caring about everything is selfish, that's what other people are for," that hit so different, thank you, Hank, you and your brothers wisdom get me through this living hell one step at a time ❤️
Thank you for the work you've done and the care you've placed there. I am sending all of the hope and compassion and self care things to you and your coworkers.
Who else really needed to learn as a adult that you are not responsible for everyone... mainly because you were a older sibling of a large family who basically helped parent the younger ones.
Many of us are taught when we were young that you have those around you who care about you, and those you care about. At some point, you are likely going to be responsible for caring for someone else, or some thing. I think as many young people enter college age, they feel a sudden pressure to not only prove themselves to the rest of the world, but to show that they care about current events. It's a way of announcing your arrival to adulthood. You don't have much of a past, and your future is unwritten. All you have is the moment. In turn, wanting to show that you care becomes a satisfying belief that you are going change the world some day. Then, you age and have others to care about; like children, or aging parents. You realize that wanting to care about everything probably had more to do with your own vanity than actually change anything. You just needed somethng to really care about; not everything.
It's wild to me how these video's always talk about exactly the right topic for what I'm busy with in my life and then give me a perfect viewpoint to deal with it. I've been struggling with the feeling of needing to plant every tree, and I love this 'web of care' view. Thank you Hank!
Wait, are you saying it makes sense that you're confused, being old? Or, that being younger than JonnesTT at double the age has confused you, but because you're old it must make sense somehow? OR are you saying that since you've become confused you've abandoned the question at hand and have decided that just being old makes sense?
Nope. Not only CAN'T we do all the things, but we don't have to either. Thankfully there are MANY caring people in the world, so that hopefully together we can do what is needed. You are a wise man, Hank. Thanks.
Ngl, "I don't have to care about everything" is a _terrifying_ thought. Because the web's holes are far too big right now and there seems to be a lot of people who don't care about what they should be caring about. However, it's also a necessary thought, in order to leave the cycle of worry-tiredness-burnout-inaction-worry. I have OCD, so I don't know how common my experience is, but I often feel like I can't let others take care of things because they'll do them in a way that my brain doesn't find "good enough". That often just reinforces the cycle, which I'm trying to learn to stop. I'm working on it, but progress is. Slow. You and John are really inspiring for me, wrt that.
A lot of our worries come from pathological thoughts we developed when we were young. We think those thoughts are helping us but it turns out they are bullying us.
It's an incredibly common feeling. Not to dismiss your OCD, of course. I'm sure that you experience it differently from many other people. But we all have difficulty finding balance. There are people who don't care enough about anything that doesn't affect them directly, and other people overcompensate by trying to care about too much, but then that can exhaust people to the point that they care about too little, or someone can see burned-out people and start caring less out of self-preservation... There's no easy answer to where the best middle ground is. And there are so many other balances that are just as difficult to find. I think most of us will wrestle with these things for our entire lives, but that's generally good, because it means we aren't giving up.
I would say we are in a much more hypervigilant state than in previous years, and that's almost solely due to social media. You don't need the world to be constantly whispering in your ear. It's a recipe for mental illness, and it's even a side-effect of some. Experiment yourself. Stay off social media and news-sites for about a month, and you'll soon discover that without the media outrage machine glued to your face, very little of what is being reportedly actually matters to your existence, or is not even within your sphere of reach. Go back and read old news stories from before you become a media watcher, and see how much you missed that you would have been completely outraged by. Life went on, didn't it? Being vigilant about current events is not activism, nor is it affecting much of anything. Stop thinking that staring at the microwave is going to make the food cook faster.
The great thing about now is that while we can know about all the things we should care about, we can also find things to care about that speak to us deeply on a personal level. Look at what being part of a huge LGBT community online can do for us, as opposed to being the only queer in the village who just had to go live in a shack away from everyone or something. We can support people who would have fallen through the cracks in ways we never could before, because our web is so much bigger. That’s wonderful!
You put into words exactly what I was thinking! The first time this came to my mind was last year, when all the black lives matter protests broke out and people started pressuring celebrities to post about it and 'canceling' them if they didn't or even if they did show support, just not exactly in the way people wanted (took them too long; mentioned themselves too many times; etc). This later extended into other causes as well, with everyone acting like a person needs to care about every social/ charitable cause to be a good person. But that is impossible. We can't care about everything, and even if we could- if we divide our attention between all causes, we won't manage to do much in any of them and the world won't change.
"Technological fixes are not always undesirable or inadequate, but there is a danger that what is addressed is not the real problem but the problem in as far as it is amendable to technical solutions." Engineering and the Problem of Moral Overload
This made me think of a thought I had a while ago. If everyone was like me, there would be so many jobs that wouldn't get done. We need plumbers, and real estate agents, and business men, and teachers, but I couldn't do any of these things. People need to care about different things so that we have a functional world. And I think that's pretty cool. :)
This is something that I have to constantly remind myself as an educator. I can’t be that one special teacher that is life altering for every student in all my classes. I have to reach the ones I can and believe that every other teacher in the building is doing the same thing.
"posted 9 seconds ago" well hello SPEED Post-watch comment: The podcast mentioned is Heavyweight and the episode is called John, for everyone else whose memory needs a jog :) Will I be back post-listen with another comment addition? Who knows!
This channel and community has always made me feel like I'm taking a degree level course on how to navigate the human condition, how to find or make a meaning of life "fire" and how we can all make the world a better place for each other. It's like whatever the opposite of an existential crisis is. It's always nice to be reminded that we're part of the human endeavor and part of the universe itself. I'm grateful for this community.
Hank's friend also bought some time and was able to get vaccinated, and that health care has also learned more on how to treat it. Plus, she didn't spread it to others as she did her part and wore her mask. It wasn't for nothing. I plan to mask from now on when I get sick. This pandemic has taught me that not everyone is fortunate to be healthy and able to heal as well. If I can stop just one other persons suffering by wearing a mask, then it's worth it. I have the masks and I should do my part when I can.
reminds me of when you all decided to stop having opinions about everything - i remember John’s example was Phil Collin’s music, which i think he should care about, but respect that he chose to give that up.
I think about that moment a lot, especially when I'm getting angry about something that doesn't affect me in any way. (That and "Good morning John,, I DON'T KNOW!")
@@justyourlocalrat_ This is the "giving up opinions" one- ua-cam.com/video/2Hkw1S0b6nI/v-deo.html And this is the "I don't know!" - ua-cam.com/video/w3v3S82TuxU/v-deo.html
I would just like to point out how amazing of a community is here. I mean even to just think about caring about everything, nevermind feeling kinda bad for not having to, it is such a hopeful thing for me. I'm so happy we have Hank and John and all the amazing people here to care about their own lil something 💜
Oh my gosh... thank you. This makes me feel better about the things I DO care about/do something about, instead of feeling bad about the things I don't.
My previous solution to dealing with the emotional struggle of not being able to care about everything was trying (and struggling) to accept that nothing I can do will ever be enough... and that's still true, but trusting other people to care when I can't is such a much better (and happier) solution. Thank you!
The ideas in this video may be one of the most impactful things I've heard since before youtube. It may be the best tool I've seen to dismantle decision paralysis.
One of my New Year's Resolutions a few years ago was to "care less about other people", for all the same reasons listed in this video. It's sounds bad at first, but when you explain it to people eventually it makes sense. Thanks for giving the concept more visibility; we need more aggregate thinking.
A way of conceptualizing this may be, "trusting more in other people's ability to care about things as much as I would", that's not quite fully fleshed out, but perhaps something like that
This is exactly what I needed to hear this week. I have been majorly struggling with anxiety due to, in part, caring about everything all at once. It’s hard to convince myself that I won’t solve all of the world’s problems by worrying about them. It’s hard to just leave some things be for others to handle, because I can only do so much. But you’re right Hank… everything is a lot of things.
“but we don’t need to care about everything, because everything is too many things. and I don’t need to care about everything because that’s actually a kind of selfish thought. that’s what other people are for.” these words just shifted something inside me so fundamentally that I paused the video to just sit there with them for a few seconds. I think I’m going to show this video to my therapist on Monday. thanks, Hank 💗
Thanks for this eureka moment, Hank: "that's what other people are for." Sometimes I feel like I should be doing more, caring more, and giving more, even though it is impossible to care about everything and help everyone. But reframing this inability for me to do everything as the chance for other people to do their part is a relief. I still need to do my part, but so does everyone else, and it allows us to target our energies within our immediate sphere of influence rather than frantically waving our hands around at all the ills in the world and accomplishing nothing.
“I’m not saying that the things I don’t focus on in my everyday practice aren’t worthy of care, I’m saying that they don’t need my care,” is honestly such an empowering concept-if each person is able to focus their care on a few things rather than becoming burned out trying to care for everything at once (which is a lot of things!) we get a net increase in not only care but the quality of care. It’s like how we have specialties in medicine-if I was a cardiologist, that wouldn’t mean that I thought the brain, or the lungs, or the digestive system aren’t important, it would just mean that the heart is where I can help people best.
The end part really makes me think of my job as a teacher. It's really important for me/us to realize that I can't be *the* teacher for every single student, connecting to every single one, making every single lesson astounding and engaging. I can't! It's not healthy for me to think that I could. But I can care and I can try and some lessons will be good and engaging and some students will feel that I support them especially and that matters.
Returning to this because I needed to. Just tried to like the video, then realized I'd already liked it 6 months ago... Now my agreeing feeling is going unfulfilled, so I'm commenting instead. Good job. Thank you. 😌
Thank You! At one point in the Pandemic I could see the needs of my community in so many different facets. I applied to every job that could better serve than the role I had been working in. I felt needed everywhere and very frustrated I couldn't be everywhere. There were so many needs! "See a need, fill a need." I was accepted by a job I didn't think I'd get or want. On Friday will be my first 2 weeks!
I needed this right now. I've recently realised that I feel the problems of the world as if they're mine to solve. And I felt the way you did when I told myself they're not - gross, selfish. But caring too much about everything is only self-destructive, it puts an impossibly huge burden on an individual. I need to remind myself that if I didn't exist, there would still be people trying to make the world a better place. That's not to say I shouldn't care at all, just that I shouldn't let all that weight fall on my conscience. I like "everything is a lot of things" - I'll keep that in my mantra box. Thanks for the video!
I remember being in awe of the remarkable level of service and kindness I saw in one of my friends. She is so, so good at helping others, she is so organized and good at planning. I remarked on how impressive I think this is and she says to me, "My children are grown, I work part time, I have the time to do these things and I like doing them. There is no way I could have done any of this when my kids were the same age as your kids." We can't all do all things at all times and there are seasons in our lives where we can do less or more depending on our circumstances. If you are in a "less" season that is okay. And sometimes your "more" isn't at the same level of someone else's. Also okay. Caring is not a competition
I struggled last year with feeling like I wasn't doing enough to help ALL the worthwhile causes, and found myself joining multiple activist groups combatting everything from the climate crisis, racial injustice, etc. As well as being asked to run for local office. It was too much. I've eventually learned that I can do more good by focusing my energies and passion on one cause (electoral reform to make voting fairer and our democracy more representative) and trust that other people are putting that same energy into other worthy causes. Thank you, all folks who are doing that, however you are contributing to the web of care xxx
Learning that I don’t have to (and in fact can’t) care about everything was and continues to be intrinsic to maintaining any sort of presence on the Internet.
Thank you for giving these wise words, worth what one wooden wagon, wearing wire wrapped wooden wheels, within which were wringing wet, woven wool wads weighted with water would weigh, to us, this wonderful community, to quote as we please. It has moved me to leave two quotes from two people I admire greatly. "Life needs life to live..." ~ P.F.v.M.K. DeRolo III "Time is a weird soup." Fearne Calloway
"I don't need to care about everything because that's actually a kind of selfish thought. That's what other people are for." Like most nerdfighters, I care deeply about the world, and about many things I can't actually change by myself. And it gets to the point that it's immobilizing. There's so much that needs a lot of people to really deeply care about, and if I decide not to, it feels like I am part of the problem. But when it gets to the point that I can't even go to the grocery store without being on the verge of panic because of the tension between 'choices that are good for the environment and don't exploit laborers' and 'choices that are good for my body' and 'choices that fit with my budget' and 'things I actually have time to cook'.... It doesn't help anyone if I can't handle going to the grocery store. If I'm unable to function, then any good I would have contributed to any problem is automatically forfeit. It's so hard to let myself not care about some things, when I know there's a problem. Reframing it like this is super helpful to me. Everything is too many things, and I am only one person. It's self centered to imagine that I need to care about everything. As my sister would put it, it is the sin of pride, because I am imagining myself to somehow capable of helping with everything, rather than understanding that my capacity is limited, and doing the best I can within my actually capabilities. Thanks for helping me find a more useful way to frame this, Hank.
Wow did I need to hear that. I know that there are SO MANY things worthy of my attention (and dollars) that it can be overwhelming to process. And guilt inducing to give priority to one cause over another. Thank you for giving me a framework within which to think about this.
I’ve never heard the idea before that a specific thing doesn’t need MY care, and I’m mega grateful that you made this video. This was and is an important lesson for me to learn.
I love this video. I think we are all initially taught this idea of “You MUST do something because if you don’t then no one will” and this is a great initial thought to be taught, but it’s a thought that creates a society of overwhelmed burnt out people. I’m reality, if you don’t, someone will probably do something. Like if you ignore a pile of garbage on the floor the next person might not pick all of it up but they’ll probably pick up some of it or at least tell someone that they know can pick it up. And that’s okay! Not every mess is your mess and while it’s super nice to help clean up, you don’t always have the time or strength or sometimes you just might not want to!
I really struggle with this myself. It seems that I must pay attention to every fundraiser, crisis, disaster and individual but I just can't. And that has to be ok sometimes.
Tbf they _are_ pushing very hard to get your attention (and your wallet) and you* need to be *very* aware of it so you don't collapse under the weight of the world they are trying to throw onto your shoulders. *(Collective you obviously)
It is okay. It's also equally important that you recognize the work you ARE doing. That work is important. It matters. The care you place into the world on the things you do choose to focus on is exactly where you need to be and what you need to do. Keep doing those things. The other people in the web will help.
this was my favourite vlogbrothers video, in a long time. this reframing the idea of caring about EVERYthing as selfish - 'that's what other people are for!' was such a lightbulb moment for me. it's true that every thing is too many things, it's also true that saying "i don't/won't care" doesn't feel right (gross, as you say). you articulated this all very well. thank you Science John.
This had me thinking about the idea of compassion fatigue. Like the web of care is a little bit the answer to it. Like I don't have the mental/emotional/physical bandwidth to care deeply about every single thing that is an important thing to care about. So I can trust the web to care about the stuff that I can't, so I can do a better job about acting on the things that I do have the space for. If that makes sense.
Love this!! I am the worst kind of perfectionist (blergh) where rather than trying to do everything 'perfectly', I just think if I can't do it all what is the point. I'm ashamed to say this sometimes extends to things like watching the news or giving to charity. This has shifted that perspective. I hope I can act on that in future.
One thing that’s great about the web of care, is that caring for others is often more rewarding than doing things for yourself, so even if it’s the same amount of work there is a synergy to being in relationships where you do things for eachother
That Heavyweight episode was wonderful. I started listening because it was on one of John's lists at some point and I thought I should check it out. It also reminded me of a trauma therapist I was learning from who had a survivor of an accident tell his story into a tape recorder and re-listen to it over and over again, remembering to tell the end of the story. The person felt super helpless and terrified and thought they would die. But then, through no control of their own, they lived. And then they were okay, but it took some time for their brain to catch up to the end of that story ("lived") and not focus on the "gonna die!" part. That episode was such a beautiful way to not really finish the story, because that's a whole lifetime--two really--, but to finish the story of that day in John's life.
I have realized that limiting your uptake of information is a good thing. At least for your personal health. When the pandemic started I was constantly checking the news and it took a heavy toll on my psyche, I had never felt so bad before. But as the situation worsened and restrictions were put in place I shut myself off from the world and stopped watching the news. I just followed the rules put in place and left the worrying to the people who could do something about the problem. I felt better almost immediately. There are so many thing that we don't *need* to know, that we don't *need* to worry about. We've evolved to deal with problems on a tribal scale, but now we have the possibility to hear about every problem on the planet and that is too much.
I have spent most of my life feeling I have to care about all the things and do all the things... this is a lesson I've been unlearning, so this video was wonderfully put. thanks!
Nobel Prize winning journalist Maria Ressa said that the fastest spreading emotion for news stories on social media is Anger, but that we often forget that the second fastest is Inspiration. Inspiring stories can do just as well. "John, you are a pretty inspirational guy" -- it's true. And that's why we keep coming back here.
This video soothes my general anxiety. Thank you for verbalizing what I had been worried wasn't true - that I don't, in fact, carry the entire world on my shoulders, and I'm not expected to. I appreciate you!
I try to remind myself of this on those occasions when I get frustrated that people don't care about the thing I care about. Not only is is impossible for anyone to care about anything so we have to make choices, but also, it's none of my business what other people choose to care about. I feel like, in general, I do a pretty good job, but the topic where I have the most trouble is homeless pets, i.e. the pets of people experiencing homelessness. Look, I get it, you want to be sure the doggos out on the street, companions to people out on the street aren't starving, but for heaven's sake, the best way to do that--just like the best way to care for the person out on the street--is to providing housing that is both affordable and pet friendly.
A discernment that helped me let go of a lot of personal guilt and insecurities about my capacity to manage life is "Caring about" vs "Caring for": (a) acknowledging & sympathizing with the significance & weight of a thing vs. (b) taking an active role in the potential or maintenance of it.
"I don't need to care about everything" - That is a really good point that I internally understood but could never for into a sentence or a reasonable thought. Thank you for the video.
Thought provoking video! Also not sure if this was just my brain but I watch people's mouths when they talk to help me focus and right at the end I could swear it looked like Hank said on Tuesday and then dubbed over it with tomorrow 😆
I love this web of care metaphor. We can only (physically, emotionally, etc.) care for so much and realizing that others also care helps with the guilt I think a lot of us feel.
You do care about everything worth caring about, but you have passions that drive you to focus your actions on specific cares. And it feels good to hear that other peoples passions are helping them care for the things your unable to spend time caring for. This is the web we want to be in, and be a part of. Love you, people who care about something. Keep up your work!
Not everyone needs to care about everything, because that would be bad, but if no one would care about anything, that'd be bad too. The part about the world acting on us as a collective makes sense in the way that, when a house is on fire, people don't act because they see fire, they act because they see other people rushing with water. So in order to get individuals to vote for example, it's useful to stress the importance of their vote on the collective. Ps. As a person living in Europe, I very much appreciate this video being uploaded right before bedtime 🙃
This is something I've been thinking a lot about recently. Thank you for giving me the phrase -- web of care -- because it's exactly the thing I was trying to articulate.
What I love most about this is how Hank is essentially saying what Prince Henry says in the movie Ever After: "I thought if I cared about one thing, I'd have to care about everything, and I'd go stark raving mad." And then he finds his purpose and the thing(s) he really cares about. I really like thinking about fictional Prince Henry and actual Hank Green and everyone else all in that Web of Care.
I adore all of the content you two along with your team of awesome peoples create and put out to the web. I've been watching your content for a very long time but this is the first time I've commented. Just wanted to express my gratitude for the awesome work you guys have given the world. I appreciate all your videos and channels crash course and Sci show were both staples of my media diet for years and continue to provide joy and new knowledge to me, my kiddos and the world. Keep up the good work and Don't forget to be awesome 👏😎🥰 p.s. SciShow's videos about addiction many years ago were my introduction to your work and helped me to pull myself out of a very very dark place in my life. Eternally grateful, Cheryl Hernandez ❤
This reminds me so much of my favourite moment in "Justice League". Flash tells Batman he's never been in such a battle before and doesn't know how to handle it. Batman "Save ONE person. Get in. Get ONE person out." Flash: "That's it? One person?" - And of course he finds that he can get another one out after the first one. - Thank you very much!
John’s Heavyweight episode was so touching. That podcast makes me cry at the best of times but this one was so... heavy. But also so hopeful and lovely and just another reminder of what a wonderful person John is. I’m so glad that little boy survived and that John got through that terrible time too and they got to reconnect if only for that moment. What a gorgeous thing to discover that someone has been praying for you and wishing you well all these years and you never knew it. Love this web of care idea, Hank, as I often feel that I need to care about everythinggg and also feel bad if I don’t/can’t but this is a lovely idea that we can trust others to share the load. ❤️
This really address some anxiety I have had about all the issues wrong in the world, like I need to worry about climate change, infant mortality, corrupt politics, etc. But the 'web of care' made me realize that instead I need to go us on a select few things to make my part of the web stronger instead of stretched thin. Look at Louis Rossman. He may care about a multitude of other issues wrong in the world but instead focuses on right to repair because his time spent of that is better than anyone else in the web due to his expertise and audience.
No but recently I asked pewdiepie a question he answered in a video and tbh your answer right now is much more helpful ahahah. I asked “how do you find balance between advocating for the things you care about and maintaining your own mental health because it can be so tolling” You are right. We need to care about what we can, and trust that others are also caring and trying and advocating too. Thanks Hank
John, dang, that's a really powerful story of yours on the Heavyweight podcast. I also often find myself in pretty similar situations when it comes to matters of faith and belief, and I'm hopeful the kind of closure you seem to have gotten there has brought you some peace. Wishing you well boss.
I had never listened to or heard of Heavyweight and then I had an heard an add of the episode before John's and it sounded great (it was) and I was so happy when I found it that there was also an episode with John. I highly recommend both the "John" episode and the "Brandon" episode.
It's always an awesome feeling when two things you love intersect. Heavyweight is an incredible podcast for those new to it, can't recommend it enough!
Man I really needed to hear this. I'm 18, and in the past few years especially I've been making an effort to learn more about global history and politics. It's only recently that I feel like I'm starting to understand the full scale of suffering and injustice in this world and it's so, so, much... I'm constantly conflicted between feeling like to not care about all of it is selfishness, while also being one very sad and tired person. The image of individual humans all contributing to a web of care reframed the issue in a really helpful way. As a single human being, I'm never going to be able to care about all of it, all the time. And that's okay.
“everything is a lot of things” - hank green
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- Hank Green
Like, so many…
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"Everything is too many things."--Hank Green (3:07)
ive been a die hard fan of this channel for one decade now. but I still don't understand what pizzamas is. and I kindof love that.
I've been a fan for a decade now too but I'm also binged all the older stuff from before 2011. Pizzamas is old! If I'm remembering correctly it goes back to about 2007/2008 ish.
Hey it's Johnny Harris!
Hank did make a video a while back on the history of Pizzamas. Long story short: nobody is quite sure what it is.
ua-cam.com/video/KO5h9WhUT5g/v-deo.html
It is mostly a just a chance for me to pretend like I’m 27 again…
@@vlogbrothers Good enough for me. Long live Pizzamas
I haven't been a fan for very long, but i feel like I have about the same level of understanding about it honestly
I sometimes forget how old John and Hank really are, you guys are the coolest middle aged dads ever
We didn't used to be old...
@@vlogbrothers I don't think anyone "used to be old"
@@vlogbrothers 41 is not old, just more mature.
@@vlogbrothers oof. I remember you not being "old". I was a teenager when I started watching you and now I'm only a little younger than Hank was when you started this channel. Seeing how much (and how positively) you two have changed and grown in that time paints a pretty bright picture for me to look forward to.
kinda hard for me to forget... I'm one year under John and one year over Hank. Of course I sometimes forget how old I am. Just glad I'm not called Dave. Speaking of... how is Dave Green?
WRT Hank's friend that got sick anyway, often in life there are plans that aren't a guarantee of a positive outcome, they're just the best bet. Picard said that to Data once, "It is possible to make no mistakes and still lose, that is not a weakness, that is life"
What a wonderful quote!
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I needed to hear that. That’s a great quote that can be applied to so many situations. Thank you. +
Thanks for reminding me of that excellent quote! I watched it in the original episode a few years ago but haven't thought about it for a while.
"honestly, bro, you're a pretty inspirational guy "
I didn't expect the "bro", it was so funny and sweet at the same time, as if Hank didn't want to express to much love and admiration for john on a non-esther-day :)
I recorded that line like 12 times and it didn't work until I said "bro"
When I get overwhelmed with all the good that needs to be done in the world, I take a second and think to myself, “It’s not just me, other people can help if they have bandwidth as well.” It is comforting to know that we can rely on each other to do good TOGETHER😌
One of my favorite moments in my first book is when April is worried about a big problem and then Maya explains that someone else is going to solve the problem. April says, "Oh, so then that's going to take care of itself" and Maya is like, "No, it's going to be taken care of by OTHER PEOPLE."
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Yes, FINALLY someone said it! You're not selfish for NOT caring about EVERY little thing wrong with society. Pick your cause(s) and let other people deal with the ones you can't deal with yourself.
There's a Real Friends lyric that i really "I've learned it's okay to be selfish". Meaning it's okay to focus on yourself, on only the problems you can solve, that sometimes saying no is fine.
I personally don't like the phrase "problems you can solve". I can't solve climate change, I can't solve the housing crisis, and I can't solve a friend being ill. But I can care about them and do stuff, like getting green energy, protesting, or bringing soup to that friend.
I'll care for the things I have energy to care for, and leave the rest to others.
At least try to make sure you’re not making the other things worse. Unfortunately, there are plenty of issues where mass indifference is enough to make them unsolvable for the people who try
I couldn’t tell you why, but the message that we need to trust others to care when we can’t really resonates with me.
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It reminds me that *I* don't have to be strong all the time, that it's ok for me to be vulnerable and count on others 🤗
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To me it's comforting because of how in the last ten years, consumption of distressing headlines and anxiety inducing information has just exploded via smartphones. So the reminder that not everything is a crisis, threat, or responsibility, is such a relief of emotional burden.
in the United States, there's an incredible amount of pressure to be independent, mostly financially, but in other ways as well. it's good to have a reminder that RELYING ON OTHERS ISN'T WEAKNESS.
"We think of ourselves as individuals, but the world acts on us as a collective." - Hank Green, 2021
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glad i scrolled through the comments to find someone else drawing attention to this quote, thus lessening the ever growing pile of reposts XD
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The web of care makes me think of a metaphor a friend used when her daughter was extremely sick. She said that all of her friends saying they'd pray or that they were thinking of her or just sending love may not seem a lot to the friends saying it, but it formed a web under her family that kept them going, and that she felt kept her daughter going for the full year she spent in hospital before her death (thank God for the NHS). It's a beautiful idea that we don't have to do much to form a web of care that can have a large impact.
I make a note of someone's name every time I say I will pray or send someone healing energy, because I know it is often said and not done. And yes, all that good energy, healing intent does form a "web of care". That is a beautiful thought, and appreciating all that positive feeling adds to the beautiful positive energy flowing around. And some of us who commit to pray actually do,.. it may not be several times a day,...it may not be a lengthy formal prayer ( sometimes I sit with a list of first names and concerns and meditate on "Jane's" daughter's knee, or "John's cancer," asking God's healing presence to enter, surround, fill and cover them.) It may be small or informal, but we do actually pray. It is a commitment of honor. For real.
@@EmmieTuesday I am not personally religious, but if someone offers to pray for me I 100% accept it and treasure it. It is one of the biggest honours I think a person can simply do, literally asking their God to help you, and it definitely has real power even besides any religious impact it may have. Thank you for really doing it and caring.
@@EmmieTuesday Why did your "god" make it so that John had cancer in the first place?
@@ProjektKlover Don’t be that guy
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"Caring about everything is selfish, that's what other people are for," that hit so different, thank you, Hank, you and your brothers wisdom get me through this living hell one step at a time ❤️
As a nurse, this is a conversation I've had a lot recently with compassion fatigue and etc. that comes from COVID-19 work and I love this. Thank you.
Thank you for the work you've done and the care you've placed there. I am sending all of the hope and compassion and self care things to you and your coworkers.
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Who else really needed to learn as a adult that you are not responsible for everyone... mainly because you were a older sibling of a large family who basically helped parent the younger ones.
I feel like I'm still learning that, even though I'm the youngest sibling, by quite a lot, but I definitely am the parent type in my friend groups
Only child of an emotionally immature and neglectful parent, but yes, same idea.
Yeah, I'm one of those, you aren't alone. I don't have a huge huge family, but I played peacekeeper for everyone, including overly stressed parents.
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Many of us are taught when we were young that you have those around you who care about you, and those you care about. At some point, you are likely going to be responsible for caring for someone else, or some thing. I think as many young people enter college age, they feel a sudden pressure to not only prove themselves to the rest of the world, but to show that they care about current events. It's a way of announcing your arrival to adulthood. You don't have much of a past, and your future is unwritten. All you have is the moment. In turn, wanting to show that you care becomes a satisfying belief that you are going change the world some day. Then, you age and have others to care about; like children, or aging parents. You realize that wanting to care about everything probably had more to do with your own vanity than actually change anything. You just needed somethng to really care about; not everything.
It's wild to me how these video's always talk about exactly the right topic for what I'm busy with in my life and then give me a perfect viewpoint to deal with it. I've been struggling with the feeling of needing to plant every tree, and I love this 'web of care' view. Thank you Hank!
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"I don't need to care about everything because that was other people are for" is something I didn't know I needed to hear !
This feels like old school vlogbrothers with the back and forth video conversation.
This man stating he's 41 killed me.
You are younger than me, and you're double my goddamn age!?
I am confused…but I’m old so that makes sense.
Wait, are you saying it makes sense that you're confused, being old?
Or, that being younger than JonnesTT at double the age has confused you, but because you're old it must make sense somehow?
OR are you saying that since you've become confused you've abandoned the question at hand and have decided that just being old makes sense?
I can only see how this would work if you both had a negative age 🤔
@@JeyGore i read it as the second one
Nope. Not only CAN'T we do all the things, but we don't have to either. Thankfully there are MANY caring people in the world, so that hopefully together we can do what is needed. You are a wise man, Hank. Thanks.
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Ngl, "I don't have to care about everything" is a _terrifying_ thought. Because the web's holes are far too big right now and there seems to be a lot of people who don't care about what they should be caring about.
However, it's also a necessary thought, in order to leave the cycle of worry-tiredness-burnout-inaction-worry.
I have OCD, so I don't know how common my experience is, but I often feel like I can't let others take care of things because they'll do them in a way that my brain doesn't find "good enough". That often just reinforces the cycle, which I'm trying to learn to stop. I'm working on it, but progress is. Slow.
You and John are really inspiring for me, wrt that.
A lot of our worries come from pathological thoughts we developed when we were young. We think those thoughts are helping us but it turns out they are bullying us.
It's an incredibly common feeling. Not to dismiss your OCD, of course. I'm sure that you experience it differently from many other people. But we all have difficulty finding balance. There are people who don't care enough about anything that doesn't affect them directly, and other people overcompensate by trying to care about too much, but then that can exhaust people to the point that they care about too little, or someone can see burned-out people and start caring less out of self-preservation... There's no easy answer to where the best middle ground is. And there are so many other balances that are just as difficult to find. I think most of us will wrestle with these things for our entire lives, but that's generally good, because it means we aren't giving up.
I would say we are in a much more hypervigilant state than in previous years, and that's almost solely due to social media. You don't need the world to be constantly whispering in your ear. It's a recipe for mental illness, and it's even a side-effect of some. Experiment yourself. Stay off social media and news-sites for about a month, and you'll soon discover that without the media outrage machine glued to your face, very little of what is being reportedly actually matters to your existence, or is not even within your sphere of reach. Go back and read old news stories from before you become a media watcher, and see how much you missed that you would have been completely outraged by. Life went on, didn't it? Being vigilant about current events is not activism, nor is it affecting much of anything. Stop thinking that staring at the microwave is going to make the food cook faster.
The great thing about now is that while we can know about all the things we should care about, we can also find things to care about that speak to us deeply on a personal level. Look at what being part of a huge LGBT community online can do for us, as opposed to being the only queer in the village who just had to go live in a shack away from everyone or something. We can support people who would have fallen through the cracks in ways we never could before, because our web is so much bigger. That’s wonderful!
You put into words exactly what I was thinking!
The first time this came to my mind was last year, when all the black lives matter protests broke out and people started pressuring celebrities to post about it and 'canceling' them if they didn't or even if they did show support, just not exactly in the way people wanted (took them too long; mentioned themselves too many times; etc). This later extended into other causes as well, with everyone acting like a person needs to care about every social/ charitable cause to be a good person. But that is impossible. We can't care about everything, and even if we could- if we divide our attention between all causes, we won't manage to do much in any of them and the world won't change.
It seems Hank and John are going back and forth on their videos like I asked for yesterday!
My favorite time of Pizzamas...completely out of ideas and yet somehow finding entirely fascinating things to talk about.
@@vlogbrothersis this how 2007 was always running out of ideas but still having to make a video every day?
I was just going to say this! Feels very Brotherhood 2.0 and I love it
"Technological fixes are not always undesirable or inadequate, but there is a danger that what is addressed is not the real problem but the problem in as far as it is amendable to technical solutions."
Engineering and the Problem of Moral Overload
I love the way Hank's and John's videos respond to each other so often with the everyday nature of pizzamas.
This made me think of a thought I had a while ago. If everyone was like me, there would be so many jobs that wouldn't get done. We need plumbers, and real estate agents, and business men, and teachers, but I couldn't do any of these things. People need to care about different things so that we have a functional world. And I think that's pretty cool. :)
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This is something that I have to constantly remind myself as an educator. I can’t be that one special teacher that is life altering for every student in all my classes. I have to reach the ones I can and believe that every other teacher in the building is doing the same thing.
"posted 9 seconds ago" well hello SPEED
Post-watch comment: The podcast mentioned is Heavyweight and the episode is called John, for everyone else whose memory needs a jog :) Will I be back post-listen with another comment addition? Who knows!
was about to run it back thanks Lena!
EDIT: I definitely shed some tears listening to this.. Hank was right, John is truly inspirational.
It’s a cryer
Well I gave that a listen, and I cried. Glad I did and wish I didn't. (Mostly because of the parasocial feelings I now have for John)
My memory needs a jog, but hopefully not a 17 mile jog
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This channel and community has always made me feel like I'm taking a degree level course on how to navigate the human condition, how to find or make a meaning of life "fire" and how we can all make the world a better place for each other. It's like whatever the opposite of an existential crisis is. It's always nice to be reminded that we're part of the human endeavor and part of the universe itself. I'm grateful for this community.
Hank's friend also bought some time and was able to get vaccinated, and that health care has also learned more on how to treat it. Plus, she didn't spread it to others as she did her part and wore her mask. It wasn't for nothing. I plan to mask from now on when I get sick. This pandemic has taught me that not everyone is fortunate to be healthy and able to heal as well. If I can stop just one other persons suffering by wearing a mask, then it's worth it. I have the masks and I should do my part when I can.
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As one of many people who struggles with the impossible internally set bar of “perfection”, having permission to care about fewer things is a gift.
reminds me of when you all decided to stop having opinions about everything - i remember John’s example was Phil Collin’s music, which i think he should care about, but respect that he chose to give that up.
There are just too many things to have opinions on.
I think about that moment a lot, especially when I'm getting angry about something that doesn't affect me in any way. (That and "Good morning John,, I DON'T KNOW!")
@@IrisGlowingBlue what video is this from?
what video is that?
@@justyourlocalrat_ This is the "giving up opinions" one- ua-cam.com/video/2Hkw1S0b6nI/v-deo.html
And this is the "I don't know!" - ua-cam.com/video/w3v3S82TuxU/v-deo.html
I would just like to point out how amazing of a community is here. I mean even to just think about caring about everything, nevermind feeling kinda bad for not having to, it is such a hopeful thing for me. I'm so happy we have Hank and John and all the amazing people here to care about their own lil something 💜
Oh my gosh... thank you. This makes me feel better about the things I DO care about/do something about, instead of feeling bad about the things I don't.
Yes!!
My previous solution to dealing with the emotional struggle of not being able to care about everything was trying (and struggling) to accept that nothing I can do will ever be enough... and that's still true, but trusting other people to care when I can't is such a much better (and happier) solution. Thank you!
The ideas in this video may be one of the most impactful things I've heard since before youtube. It may be the best tool I've seen to dismantle decision paralysis.
One of my New Year's Resolutions a few years ago was to "care less about other people", for all the same reasons listed in this video. It's sounds bad at first, but when you explain it to people eventually it makes sense. Thanks for giving the concept more visibility; we need more aggregate thinking.
A way of conceptualizing this may be, "trusting more in other people's ability to care about things as much as I would", that's not quite fully fleshed out, but perhaps something like that
This is exactly what I needed to hear this week. I have been majorly struggling with anxiety due to, in part, caring about everything all at once. It’s hard to convince myself that I won’t solve all of the world’s problems by worrying about them. It’s hard to just leave some things be for others to handle, because I can only do so much. But you’re right Hank… everything is a lot of things.
“but we don’t need to care about everything, because everything is too many things. and I don’t need to care about everything because that’s actually a kind of selfish thought. that’s what other people are for.”
these words just shifted something inside me so fundamentally that I paused the video to just sit there with them for a few seconds. I think I’m going to show this video to my therapist on Monday. thanks, Hank 💗
Thanks for this eureka moment, Hank: "that's what other people are for." Sometimes I feel like I should be doing more, caring more, and giving more, even though it is impossible to care about everything and help everyone. But reframing this inability for me to do everything as the chance for other people to do their part is a relief. I still need to do my part, but so does everyone else, and it allows us to target our energies within our immediate sphere of influence rather than frantically waving our hands around at all the ills in the world and accomplishing nothing.
“I’m not saying that the things I don’t focus on in my everyday practice aren’t worthy of care, I’m saying that they don’t need my care,” is honestly such an empowering concept-if each person is able to focus their care on a few things rather than becoming burned out trying to care for everything at once (which is a lot of things!) we get a net increase in not only care but the quality of care. It’s like how we have specialties in medicine-if I was a cardiologist, that wouldn’t mean that I thought the brain, or the lungs, or the digestive system aren’t important, it would just mean that the heart is where I can help people best.
The end part really makes me think of my job as a teacher. It's really important for me/us to realize that I can't be *the* teacher for every single student, connecting to every single one, making every single lesson astounding and engaging. I can't! It's not healthy for me to think that I could. But I can care and I can try and some lessons will be good and engaging and some students will feel that I support them especially and that matters.
Returning to this because I needed to. Just tried to like the video, then realized I'd already liked it 6 months ago... Now my agreeing feeling is going unfulfilled, so I'm commenting instead. Good job. Thank you. 😌
Thank You! At one point in the Pandemic I could see the needs of my community in so many different facets. I applied to every job that could better serve than the role I had been working in. I felt needed everywhere and very frustrated I couldn't be everywhere. There were so many needs! "See a need, fill a need."
I was accepted by a job I didn't think I'd get or want. On Friday will be my first 2 weeks!
"*Everything* is a lot of things" ~Hank Green
... I like this quote... it gives me peace
I needed this right now. I've recently realised that I feel the problems of the world as if they're mine to solve. And I felt the way you did when I told myself they're not - gross, selfish. But caring too much about everything is only self-destructive, it puts an impossibly huge burden on an individual. I need to remind myself that if I didn't exist, there would still be people trying to make the world a better place. That's not to say I shouldn't care at all, just that I shouldn't let all that weight fall on my conscience. I like "everything is a lot of things" - I'll keep that in my mantra box. Thanks for the video!
I remember being in awe of the remarkable level of service and kindness I saw in one of my friends. She is so, so good at helping others, she is so organized and good at planning. I remarked on how impressive I think this is and she says to me, "My children are grown, I work part time, I have the time to do these things and I like doing them. There is no way I could have done any of this when my kids were the same age as your kids."
We can't all do all things at all times and there are seasons in our lives where we can do less or more depending on our circumstances. If you are in a "less" season that is okay. And sometimes your "more" isn't at the same level of someone else's. Also okay.
Caring is not a competition
This Vlog has had the biggest impact on me to date of all Greens' endeavors. Thank you.
I struggled last year with feeling like I wasn't doing enough to help ALL the worthwhile causes, and found myself joining multiple activist groups combatting everything from the climate crisis, racial injustice, etc. As well as being asked to run for local office. It was too much.
I've eventually learned that I can do more good by focusing my energies and passion on one cause (electoral reform to make voting fairer and our democracy more representative) and trust that other people are putting that same energy into other worthy causes.
Thank you, all folks who are doing that, however you are contributing to the web of care xxx
Your endless optimism in humanity keeps me going Hank
Learning that I don’t have to (and in fact can’t) care about everything was and continues to be intrinsic to maintaining any sort of presence on the Internet.
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Thanks for letting me know about that Heavyweight episode! Downloading now!
Thank you for giving these wise words, worth what one wooden wagon, wearing wire wrapped wooden wheels, within which were wringing wet, woven wool wads weighted with water would weigh, to us, this wonderful community, to quote as we please.
It has moved me to leave two quotes from two people I admire greatly.
"Life needs life to live..." ~ P.F.v.M.K. DeRolo III
"Time is a weird soup." Fearne Calloway
"I don't need to care about everything because that's actually a kind of selfish thought. That's what other people are for." Like most nerdfighters, I care deeply about the world, and about many things I can't actually change by myself. And it gets to the point that it's immobilizing. There's so much that needs a lot of people to really deeply care about, and if I decide not to, it feels like I am part of the problem. But when it gets to the point that I can't even go to the grocery store without being on the verge of panic because of the tension between 'choices that are good for the environment and don't exploit laborers' and 'choices that are good for my body' and 'choices that fit with my budget' and 'things I actually have time to cook'.... It doesn't help anyone if I can't handle going to the grocery store. If I'm unable to function, then any good I would have contributed to any problem is automatically forfeit.
It's so hard to let myself not care about some things, when I know there's a problem. Reframing it like this is super helpful to me. Everything is too many things, and I am only one person. It's self centered to imagine that I need to care about everything. As my sister would put it, it is the sin of pride, because I am imagining myself to somehow capable of helping with everything, rather than understanding that my capacity is limited, and doing the best I can within my actually capabilities.
Thanks for helping me find a more useful way to frame this, Hank.
Wow did I need to hear that. I know that there are SO MANY things worthy of my attention (and dollars) that it can be overwhelming to process. And guilt inducing to give priority to one cause over another. Thank you for giving me a framework within which to think about this.
I’ve never heard the idea before that a specific thing doesn’t need MY care, and I’m mega grateful that you made this video. This was and is an important lesson for me to learn.
Maybe one of my favourite videos on this channel, the last minute especially played more like poetry than just a regular UA-cam video.
Thank you, Hank
I love this video. I think we are all initially taught this idea of “You MUST do something because if you don’t then no one will” and this is a great initial thought to be taught, but it’s a thought that creates a society of overwhelmed burnt out people.
I’m reality, if you don’t, someone will probably do something. Like if you ignore a pile of garbage on the floor the next person might not pick all of it up but they’ll probably pick up some of it or at least tell someone that they know can pick it up. And that’s okay!
Not every mess is your mess and while it’s super nice to help clean up, you don’t always have the time or strength or sometimes you just might not want to!
Pizzamas went too fast this year, I can't believe it is already almost over!
Right? This always happens. At the beginning I'm like OH GOD OH GOD and then by the end I'm like, "Wait...it's over??"
I really struggle with this myself. It seems that I must pay attention to every fundraiser, crisis, disaster and individual but I just can't. And that has to be ok sometimes.
Tbf they _are_ pushing very hard to get your attention (and your wallet) and you* need to be *very* aware of it so you don't collapse under the weight of the world they are trying to throw onto your shoulders.
*(Collective you obviously)
It is okay. It's also equally important that you recognize the work you ARE doing. That work is important. It matters. The care you place into the world on the things you do choose to focus on is exactly where you need to be and what you need to do. Keep doing those things. The other people in the web will help.
this was my favourite vlogbrothers video, in a long time. this reframing the idea of caring about EVERYthing as selfish - 'that's what other people are for!' was such a lightbulb moment for me. it's true that every thing is too many things, it's also true that saying "i don't/won't care" doesn't feel right (gross, as you say). you articulated this all very well. thank you Science John.
This had me thinking about the idea of compassion fatigue. Like the web of care is a little bit the answer to it. Like I don't have the mental/emotional/physical bandwidth to care deeply about every single thing that is an important thing to care about. So I can trust the web to care about the stuff that I can't, so I can do a better job about acting on the things that I do have the space for. If that makes sense.
Love this!! I am the worst kind of perfectionist (blergh) where rather than trying to do everything 'perfectly', I just think if I can't do it all what is the point. I'm ashamed to say this sometimes extends to things like watching the news or giving to charity. This has shifted that perspective. I hope I can act on that in future.
One thing that’s great about the web of care, is that caring for others is often more rewarding than doing things for yourself, so even if it’s the same amount of work there is a synergy to being in relationships where you do things for eachother
That Heavyweight episode was wonderful. I started listening because it was on one of John's lists at some point and I thought I should check it out. It also reminded me of a trauma therapist I was learning from who had a survivor of an accident tell his story into a tape recorder and re-listen to it over and over again, remembering to tell the end of the story. The person felt super helpless and terrified and thought they would die. But then, through no control of their own, they lived. And then they were okay, but it took some time for their brain to catch up to the end of that story ("lived") and not focus on the "gonna die!" part. That episode was such a beautiful way to not really finish the story, because that's a whole lifetime--two really--, but to finish the story of that day in John's life.
Hank, your videos and your brother's videos are a joy to my life and I appreciate listening to them in between my classes and studies.
I have realized that limiting your uptake of information is a good thing. At least for your personal health. When the pandemic started I was constantly checking the news and it took a heavy toll on my psyche, I had never felt so bad before. But as the situation worsened and restrictions were put in place I shut myself off from the world and stopped watching the news. I just followed the rules put in place and left the worrying to the people who could do something about the problem. I felt better almost immediately. There are so many thing that we don't *need* to know, that we don't *need* to worry about. We've evolved to deal with problems on a tribal scale, but now we have the possibility to hear about every problem on the planet and that is too much.
I have spent most of my life feeling I have to care about all the things and do all the things... this is a lesson I've been unlearning, so this video was wonderfully put. thanks!
Nobel Prize winning journalist Maria Ressa said that the fastest spreading emotion for news stories on social media is Anger, but that we often forget that the second fastest is Inspiration. Inspiring stories can do just as well. "John, you are a pretty inspirational guy" -- it's true. And that's why we keep coming back here.
This video soothes my general anxiety. Thank you for verbalizing what I had been worried wasn't true - that I don't, in fact, carry the entire world on my shoulders, and I'm not expected to. I appreciate you!
I try to remind myself of this on those occasions when I get frustrated that people don't care about the thing I care about. Not only is is impossible for anyone to care about anything so we have to make choices, but also, it's none of my business what other people choose to care about. I feel like, in general, I do a pretty good job, but the topic where I have the most trouble is homeless pets, i.e. the pets of people experiencing homelessness. Look, I get it, you want to be sure the doggos out on the street, companions to people out on the street aren't starving, but for heaven's sake, the best way to do that--just like the best way to care for the person out on the street--is to providing housing that is both affordable and pet friendly.
A discernment that helped me let go of a lot of personal guilt and insecurities about my capacity to manage life is "Caring about" vs "Caring for": (a) acknowledging & sympathizing with the significance & weight of a thing vs. (b) taking an active role in the potential or maintenance of it.
"I don't need to care about everything" - That is a really good point that I internally understood but could never for into a sentence or a reasonable thought. Thank you for the video.
Thought provoking video! Also not sure if this was just my brain but I watch people's mouths when they talk to help me focus and right at the end I could swear it looked like Hank said on Tuesday and then dubbed over it with tomorrow 😆
I love this web of care metaphor. We can only (physically, emotionally, etc.) care for so much and realizing that others also care helps with the guilt I think a lot of us feel.
You do care about everything worth caring about, but you have passions that drive you to focus your actions on specific cares. And it feels good to hear that other peoples passions are helping them care for the things your unable to spend time caring for. This is the web we want to be in, and be a part of. Love you, people who care about something. Keep up your work!
Thank you, Hank. I needed this specific care in my life today.
"We think of ourselves as individuals yet the world teaches us as a collective"
Very insightful perspective
Not everyone needs to care about everything, because that would be bad, but if no one would care about anything, that'd be bad too.
The part about the world acting on us as a collective makes sense in the way that, when a house is on fire, people don't act because they see fire, they act because they see other people rushing with water. So in order to get individuals to vote for example, it's useful to stress the importance of their vote on the collective.
Ps. As a person living in Europe, I very much appreciate this video being uploaded right before bedtime 🙃
This is something I've been thinking a lot about recently. Thank you for giving me the phrase -- web of care -- because it's exactly the thing I was trying to articulate.
This perspective (worrying about everything is too many things) has really helped me out, with the way the world has felt lately.
Love your videos!
Nothing makes me feel more like a friggin genius than when Hank explains thoughts I've also had.
This is one of the most inspirational videos I've watched in a long time. Thank you Hank.
I really needed this video today, thank you, Hank
This is such a profound concept that I'm gonna have to write it down and revisit it many times. Thank you to all who care for the things I cannot ❤️
What I love most about this is how Hank is essentially saying what Prince Henry says in the movie Ever After: "I thought if I cared about one thing, I'd have to care about everything, and I'd go stark raving mad." And then he finds his purpose and the thing(s) he really cares about.
I really like thinking about fictional Prince Henry and actual Hank Green and everyone else all in that Web of Care.
I love this so much. And +1 to the excellent Ever After reference.
I adore all of the content you two along with your team of awesome peoples create and put out to the web. I've been watching your content for a very long time but this is the first time I've commented. Just wanted to express my gratitude for the awesome work you guys have given the world. I appreciate all your videos and channels crash course and Sci show were both staples of my media diet for years and continue to provide joy and new knowledge to me, my kiddos and the world. Keep up the good work and Don't forget to be awesome 👏😎🥰
p.s. SciShow's videos about addiction many years ago were my introduction to your work and helped me to pull myself out of a very very dark place in my life. Eternally grateful, Cheryl Hernandez ❤
This reminds me so much of my favourite moment in "Justice League". Flash tells Batman he's never been in such a battle before and doesn't know how to handle it. Batman "Save ONE person. Get in. Get ONE person out." Flash: "That's it? One person?" - And of course he finds that he can get another one out after the first one. - Thank you very much!
I went and listened to the Heavyweight podcast mentioned. It had me in tears at work.
John’s Heavyweight episode was so touching. That podcast makes me cry at the best of times but this one was so... heavy. But also so hopeful and lovely and just another reminder of what a wonderful person John is. I’m so glad that little boy survived and that John got through that terrible time too and they got to reconnect if only for that moment. What a gorgeous thing to discover that someone has been praying for you and wishing you well all these years and you never knew it. Love this web of care idea, Hank, as I often feel that I need to care about everythinggg and also feel bad if I don’t/can’t but this is a lovely idea that we can trust others to share the load. ❤️
This really address some anxiety I have had about all the issues wrong in the world, like I need to worry about climate change, infant mortality, corrupt politics, etc. But the 'web of care' made me realize that instead I need to go us on a select few things to make my part of the web stronger instead of stretched thin.
Look at Louis Rossman. He may care about a multitude of other issues wrong in the world but instead focuses on right to repair because his time spent of that is better than anyone else in the web due to his expertise and audience.
No but recently I asked pewdiepie a question he answered in a video and tbh your answer right now is much more helpful ahahah.
I asked “how do you find balance between advocating for the things you care about and maintaining your own mental health because it can be so tolling”
You are right. We need to care about what we can, and trust that others are also caring and trying and advocating too.
Thanks Hank
This has completely reframed the concept of caring for me. Thank you.
The phrase "You make me feel like I could do it..." is the perfect praise while at the same time slipping in a sick burn.
John, dang, that's a really powerful story of yours on the Heavyweight podcast. I also often find myself in pretty similar situations when it comes to matters of faith and belief, and I'm hopeful the kind of closure you seem to have gotten there has brought you some peace. Wishing you well boss.
I had never listened to or heard of Heavyweight and then I had an heard an add of the episode before John's and it sounded great (it was) and I was so happy when I found it that there was also an episode with John. I highly recommend both the "John" episode and the "Brandon" episode.
I needed this message today because I spent the last few days caring too much about everything. Time to reel in my web a bit
Gotta love the various ways the daily pizzamas schedule trips you both up at the end of videos
It's always an awesome feeling when two things you love intersect. Heavyweight is an incredible podcast for those new to it, can't recommend it enough!
This is definitely one of those videos I need to watch a bunch of times before I can really understand it, but I think it's well worth that.
This video really just hit home for me today. Thank you! 💚
Man I really needed to hear this. I'm 18, and in the past few years especially I've been making an effort to learn more about global history and politics. It's only recently that I feel like I'm starting to understand the full scale of suffering and injustice in this world and it's so, so, much... I'm constantly conflicted between feeling like to not care about all of it is selfishness, while also being one very sad and tired person.
The image of individual humans all contributing to a web of care reframed the issue in a really helpful way. As a single human being, I'm never going to be able to care about all of it, all the time.
And that's okay.