figuring out how to live

'I can't figure out what i want to do with my life' was a thought that plagued me for most of my life. I realised that this is the answer; my natural inclination towards curiosity and understanding life and expressing that through philosophy, creativity and art as well as health and sport.

[@Kidgondi]

Hi Mailin. I just watched one of your videos about how you finally got out of a 8.5 year rut and wanted to share what it made me realized. Then I got to your first video as an impulse to write the next story down.
The universe is complicated, and it brings a lot of suffering to the process of understanding it. Yesterday I had a conversation about the traps of the ego, I felt several synchronicities and things that when I think about it, it is hard to believe. But ignoring them does not mean they cease to exist!
Your video was pinned in my browser tabs, because I wanted to watch it later but didn't know when. Today I went through my tabs because there are already too many, and I found your video, which I had completely forgotten about. It is as if life, through your creation, gave me the information I need and share what I think you might need.
Now, I think it is my job to decode it, but not with thought, but with action - congrats for taking action!!! Now, something that surprised me a lot, is the fact that we live almost the same process, different timing, same process. It is as if I see my past from a few months ago in your process, and I see myself in the now, with the 1st video I saw from you (8.5 year rut) - this call out to share! The call to teach. The call to continuing doing that, no matter the results because I understood that is not under my control, and i think you know it now.
The fact that you explored painting again, that you made little things with no attachtment, that you take care of yourself, that you try to understand, that you talk about life and habits. Suddently, as I write I recall there is a book that opened my mind during that same process, "siddartha" the school version. I am sure you will find information that you will feel, because I didn't even think the book or try to catch the trick for my life in it, it just showed MY life as if I was reading my journal. Mybe yours too. I felt it in every word.
It's crazy, but I think I can see your process before you start recording. I know how it feels to not know what to talk about, what to write about, what to do in the day that will give me enough gratification to go all in with life again.
My point is that we don't have a choice. I thuink we have a choice, but that is an ilusion. We dont choose life, life select us. If you dont take it, life provide it to someone else. We tend to think that we are the only person living that process. But I just saw that everybody is struggling, then, we are one. I think you followed the voice, the voice of life and as a miracle, you knew what to do. You always knew, just that your ego didnt let you follow the voice.
I am sorry you felt bad during the process, or if you are having a bad time now, I am sorry! You are strong man. If you listen, life is providing you everyday! Keep your antenna receptive to information, I don't know where you or I will get to, after all there is no destination. It is infinite! The best thing to do is to live in the moment, let yourself move. Happy trip! This will sound strange but I embrace, admire and love you.
Cheers!